10x08 - Blue Angel/Marked Man

[bunniefuu]

[jazzy music]

- ♪ Timmy's still an average kid ♪

♪ That no one understands

♪ Chloe's his new neighbor

♪ And she's ruining all his plans ♪

- Ahh!

- ♪ All the wishes

♪ In the world

♪ So why should he care?

♪ Jorgen has reported there's a fairy shortage ♪

♪ So Timmy has to share

♪ His OddParents, fairly OddParents ♪

- More than one? - This should be fun!

- ♪ OddParents, fairly OddParents ♪

♪ Feather suit, nature boots, laser sh**ting, rescue ♪

- World peace, kale treats,

bunny feet, real neat!

- What? No! Leave me alone!

My fairies! Get your own!

- ♪ OddParents, fairly OddParents ♪

♪ Timmy, beware, you'll have to share ♪

♪ Your fairly OddParents

- Yeah, right!

[lively music]

♪

[thunder rumbles] [bat screeches]

- Whoopie, Skull Beary!

Time for another hideous day of inflecting

soul-crushing misery on unsuspecting innocents.

[screams] What's happening to my

beloved Anti-Fairy World?

The blood red skies have turned to cheery blue.

The greasy bats have turned into songbirds.

[bird sings]

Flowers are blooming in the jagged lava fields

of my wonderfully tortured youth.

Something has gone terribly right.

[zapping, popping]

- Foop, you've been summoned by the Anti-Fairy Council.

- The evil is being drained from Anti-Fairy World,

and it's all because of the pure goodness

and selflessness of a single fairy godchild.

- The fairy godchild in question is one Chloe Carmichael.

- Here's a little sample of you-know-who in action.

[cr*ck]

- Ah, yum, yum, yum, blah. [bird squeaks]

Be free, BFF. The Best Flying Friend.

[bird screeches]

- This Chloe Carmichael, she is a thr*at

to everything we stand for.

Soon, her goodness will drain all the bad mojo

from our Anti-Fairy Wand, and we'll be doomed

to a world filled with bunnies and lollipops.

[electric zapping, fire blazing]

[expl*si*n]

- Foop, to save our world, we need you to turn this

girl from good to evil.

Make her snap!

- You picked the right

square blue baby for the job.

I'm super irritating. - You certainly are.

- You're the worst. - Everyone hates you.

- You flatter me.

To carry out my mission,

I'm going to use this magical, to die for,

heart-shaped pendant to transform myself into

the most demoralizing creature in the known universe,

a popular, middle school girl!

[dramatic music]

Check me out. I am all that.

I'm off in my super cute shoes

to, like, totally reclaim my bad mojo.

Evil hair flip.

[pop]

Oh!

I've poofed into a urinal

in the boy's bathroom.

An awkward start, to be sure,

but no matter, my magical pendant

gives me the popular girl power

to cast a spell over everyone so they think I'm awesome,

no matter how ridiculous I look, and how horribly I act.

[strains, groans] [thudding]

[laughing]

- Wow, I think the new girl is awesome,

no matter how ridiculous she looks,

and how horribly she acts.

That heavy, porcelain urinal

is an absolutely to die for accessory.

I wish I had one!

[grunts] - Whoa!

Who is the new girl,

besides the future Mrs. Timmy Turner?

- Oh, I want her to like me so bad,

I'll laugh at everything she says,

even though she hasn't said anything yet.

- Hi, everyone.

I'm, um, ironic girl named Angel.

- Oh, yeah you are. I love you, Angel.

I'd walk through firefor you.

- You will, now that you're

under my spell.

Um, I mean,

you're, like, totally supes cute.

- [laughs] Su--hoo--hoo--hoo--

- Oh, hi, everyone.

I was hiding behind my desk,

hoping you'd all go away.

Gah, who's the new girl?

Besides my new bestie?

- Now, with everyone under my spell,

it's time to bring down she who must not be named.

- Sorry I'm late, Mr. Crocker.

I know you like Fiji apples, so I rode my bike

to Fiji to get you one.

Greetings, new girl. I'm Chloe Carmichael.

Just ask if you need anything.

A tour of the school, an extra pencil, a kidney.

- Ooh, you're good, but soon you'll be bad.

One bad apple.

Like the one you gave your teacher.

I, like, totally put Death Star goscorpians in that apple.

[screams]

[screams]

- I am so disappointed in you, young lady.

You were the only student in this class

who hadn't att*cked me with scorpions.

To the principal with you.

Your perfect record has been destroyed forever.

[sobs] Mother.

- That's right, you're angry.

Go with it. Out with the good,

in with the bad.

Turn the fluffy bunnies back into greasy bats!

I realize that sounded weird out of context.

- You are a strange and tortured soul,

but I forgive you.

[growls]

[claw snaps] [groans]

- I need a hall pass! [grunts]

- Thanks for helping me

with my big clean up day at the park, Timmy.

- Well, I heard Angel might be here,

but if she doesn't show, I'm going to

go look for her, even if I have to

walk over hot coals.

She's my bae.

- Yeah, about Angel, she seems to be,

oh, how should I say this?

Out to destroy me.

Cosmo, Wanda,

what are you doing in human form?

- Duh!

It makes it a lot easier

to lug around this urinal.

I Bedazzled it.

- And I'm in human form

so I could dress exactly like Angel,

because I no longer have any sense of self.

- Well, well, well, if it isn't Chloe Carmichael.

Hi! I've come to Chloe's Clean up the Park Day--

to ruin it!

Because now, instead of wasting their time

spearing rubbish with a stick,

everyone will be driving these

environmentally unfriendly sport cars

I just bought with my rich daddy's credit card.

all: Hooray!

- Yay!

[rock music]

♪

- Aw, I see you're frowning.

Now, come on, hate a little.

- I don't believe in hate.

I strongly dislike it, but I don't hate it

because as previously mentioned, I don't believe in hate.

- [retches] I just threw up in my mouth a little,

but I won't quit until you turn to the dark side.

- I try not to be judgy, but you guys have been acting

just a little bit peculiar since Angel showed up.

- I have no idea what you're talking about.

Hold on, I have to adjust

the shoulder straps on my bedazzled urinal.

- And what about you, Timmy? - Angel's going to be here.

Do I look kissable today? - [laughs]

- What's so funny? - Nothing.

I'm practicing for when Angel shows up--

OMG, she's here!

- Well, Chloe and friends, it's your lucky day,

Angel's in the hizzy.

[camera clicks]

Don't tag me in that post, you loser.

- She knows who I am!

- Now to deal with you, Chloe Carmichael.

You pretend to be such a goody two-shoes,

but you're really a baddy no-shoes!

- Well, nobody's perfect, but I try extremely hard

to be a friend to everyone,

especially to Timmy, Cosmo and Wanda.

- Oh, really? Would a friend do this?

[all gasp]

- I can't read. Is it bad?

- It's terrible.

It says, "Timmy, Cosmo, and Wanda

"are stupid dum dums.

Signed, 'Klowie'"

- What? I didn't write that.

I would never call my friends dum dums,

or spell my name with a "K"!

- Then how do you explain that can of spray paint in your hand?

- You just put it there!

Cosmo, Wanda, Timmy, I would never insult you.

I love you guys.

- Come on, new besties, let's kick

baddy no-shoes to the curb.

My prediction is that Chloe will snap in three, two--

- Bye, guys. If you're happy, I'm happy.

- Oh, come on! You are k*lling me.

No one's that good!

[cries]

- Don't worry, Angel, we're still your friends

no matter how horribly you act.

- Maybe a kiss will make you feel better.

[mwah] - Ew, yuck!

Get away! You're not my friends.

I despise you all.

You, with your toilet back,

and you with that unbearable laugh.

- [laughs] - [yells]

And you, Mister... [smooches] Kissy Face.

I would never date a nerd like you.

I prefer bad boys.

Ah, what am I saying?

[all crying]

- Listen up, girlie.

You can mess with me all you want,

but do not mess

with my friends!

[both grunt]

[growls]

Hi-ya!

Achoo!

Wah!

Ooh, you make me so...

angry!

[smack]

- Well, if I can't destroy you emotionally,

I might as well, you know, just destroy you!

Ha!

[groans]

[both grunting]

[eagle screeches]

BFF!

I always knew you'd come back!

- I must be slipping.

I totes forgot about the eagle thing.

Ah!

- What? Foop?

- You monster.

What did you do with my angel named Angel?

Ha! Heavy urinal!

- [shouts] I kissed Foop!

Ew! Why?

[groaning]

- I don't normally use salty language,

but what the holy heck is going on here?

- Your pukey goodness was wrecking Anti-Fairy World,

so I had to make you snap.

Your fit of rage has no doubt restored Anti-Fairy World

to the hideous place it once was.

Evil hair flip. Drops mic.

Foop out.

- Chloe, you saved us from Foop's evil spell.

- [groaning]

I still don't have any idea what's going on,

but we're at the mall,

so let's all get a corn dog and a funnel cake.

[ominous music]

- Oh, nothing like the sight of greasy bats

swooping through a blood red sky.

Ooh, what's this?

Must be a gift from the Anti-Fairy Council.

Maybe they signed me up for the rotten fruit of the month club.

There's a note!

"I forgive you.

Love, Chloe"?

No! No one's that good!

[zapping]

[shouts]

Oh! Stupid eagle.

[school bell ringing]

- Well, the school day is over,

but that doesn't mean the learning has to stop.

- That's exactly what it means, Brain Hilda.

- I'm going to ignore your good-natured barb

and go finish my extra, extra credit report

positing that aliens do not exist.

- What? Yes!

Awesome!

- Wait, you're excited about my report?

- Couldn't care less.

I'm excited that you're finally wrong about something.

Cosmo, cue the Chloe's wrong celebration.

[horn blares]

Now sing the "Chloe's Wrong" song.

You do, Wanda!

- Well, I'm not sure I feel comfortable

singing the songs for--

- Sing it!

all: ♪ Chloe's wrong, and I wrote this song ♪

♪ To say Chloe's wrong

♪ Wrong, wrong, wrong

- ♪ Wrong, yeah

That felt great.

Anyway, aliens do exist.

I'm friends with one named Mark Chang.

He's from the Planet Yugopotamia,

and he lives at the Dimmsdale dump

and looks like a squid,

but with his brain on the outside of his body.

Oh, and he's also a prince.

- Of course he is.

And I'm the queen of Planet Your-Full-Of-Bologna.

- Wanda, poof us to the dump and end the crazy.

Prepare yourself, Chloe,

or shall I call you, "Wrongy Miss Wrongerstein"?

You're about to see an alien.

Dude!

- Dude! And dude and dudettes.

What's up?

Check out these wind chimes I made from muffles

and bedpans!

[laughs]

- Mark, my friend Chloe here

doesn't believe in aliens.

- Only because they do not exist.

- Mark really is an alien, Chloe.

He's just in his human form as Justin Jake Aston,

moody teen dream with three first names.

- Chloe accepts everybody,

even if they're super weird.

- He's right, I do,

because what is weird anyway,

but a judgment borne from fear-based sociological norms?

- All right, those were words.

- Just show her you're an alien!

[warbling]

- Ha!

- [screams]

- [screams]

I told you, Timmy.

It freaked out the little dudette.

- That wasn't my freaked-out scream.

That was my "aliens are real and that is so, so cool" scream.

Tell me all about your unique alien traits.

- Well, I sleep with my eyes open.

- Really?

- Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep.

- Wake up! - I'm awake!

- What else do you do?

- I also have this dope fake-ifier belt

that can turn me into whatever I want

so I can blend in with the crowd all incognito-like.

Check it!

[warbling]

I could be a rat with a banjo.

The always stealthy toilet with a moustache.

[flushes]

And my go-to,

an old man juggling cats.

[cats screeching]

But! Alas.

It is bogus to have to disguise myself.

It would be so righteous to walk amongst humans in my alien form

and pursue my ultimate dream

of styling hair under the pseudonym Monsieur Pierre.

[warbling]

- Loving it!

It's a W for Wanda.

- Hey, you know what else begins with "W"?

Wrong!

And that's exactly what Chloe was.

- It's important that I was wrong, Timmy.

What is important is that Mark is a very special boy,

cat juggler, banjo rat, creature,

who should be able to be himself

and follow his hairstyling dream.

- Alas, the world is not ready for an alien squid

named Mr. Pierre.

- Oh, Mark Chang, you don't need to hide

as a toilet with a moustache.

If people really got to know you,

they would love you.

- You have inspired me, tiny dudette.

Accordingly, I shall now reward you

with a complementary hairdo-dette.

[upbeat music]

- Eeh! I love it!

Ooh.

Although I may need a neck brace.

- I wonder where Chloe Wrong-Michael is.

Maybe she came down with a bad case of Wrong-itis.

- Did she catch it from you, Turner?

She better get here soon.

If she doesn't give her report,

then I'll actually have to teach you bucket heads!

- Fear not, Mr. Crocker,

because I am here to present a report of great import.

I was originally going to posit that aliens do not exist,

but turns out I was-- oh, it's so hard to say this--

wrong.

[expl*si*n and whistling]

- You've got some weird soup in your thermos, Turner.

- Instead I'm going to prove that aliens do exist,

with the help of my new friend, Mark Chang,

who happens to be a real-live a--

- No!

Cosmo, Wanda--

I wish time would stop!

[musical flourish]

[laughter]

[pop]

Chloe, you can't tell anyone that Mark's an alien.

There are government agents everywhere

that'll snatch up Mark and study him like a lab rat.

- Timmy, it's important for Mark to be himself,

and I believe that people are ready to embrace him

in his true form.

Also, there's not a government agent within miles of here.

Cosmo, Wanda--

I wish time would start again.

[fanfare]

[laughter]

I give you my friend, Mark Chang,

a real, live alien.

Do your thing, Mark.

- Dudes and dudettes,

behold: moi,

as my most awesome self...

Ah!

[all scream]

- [screams]

- Let's get Mark out of here

before the government agents show up.

- Sorry, it's too late.

We're already assembled, and you're surrounded.

[rip]

- You're all government agents?

Even you, Bucky?

You can't even tie your own shoes.

- Hey, I don't have to.

My mom got me clogs.

They go clippity clop like a horsey.

- Bravo team leader,

this is "Just Got My Braces Tightened."

We have an E.T. What's your ETA?

- Foxy Cougar repelling in now.

Don't look up; I'm wearing a dress.

♪

[all scream]

- So, mother, you're a government agent?

That explains why you get picked up for Bridge night

by a Blackhawk helicopter.

- You've seen too much, Denzil.

I can either neutralize your memory

or deputize you as a junior agent.

- I could go either way. It's your call.

♪

Well, hello. Who are you?

Also, who am I?

[all screaming]

[all panting]

- Walls made of books?

[echoing] What is this crazy place?

- It's called "the library."

You'd know that if you ever studied.

[pounding]

- We got to move. [screams]

[all screaming]

Everyone, to my bicycle built for two!

It has an extra seat in case a person in need wants a ride.

[bell dings]

[all scream]

- Hello. Who are you?

Who am I?

Where did I get this parachute?

[all screaming]

[poof]

all: Whoo!

- Full moon.

Flying bike with an extraterrestrial in a basket.

I feel like I've seen this before.

- This is Foxy Cougar, saying "land that bike."

It's T-minus minutes to the early bird dinner

at the Dimmsdale Diner,

and they're having two kinds of pudding.

[all screaming]

- Ooh!

[siren blaring]

- It's over, squid boy.

Soon you'll be rooming in a cell

next to the Loch Ness Monster and Bigfoot.

- Those are my dogs, yo!

Which explains why they did not show for band practice.

- Ooh, I'm normally opposed to v*olence,

but if you lay one hand on my friend, Mark Chang...

Whoo-ah!

Ugh.

- Just throw a net on them!

The pudding's gonna get a skin.

[all scream]

[warbling]

- Measly earthlings.

Beware: Mark Chang is a member

of the intergalactic alien federation

and is therefore protected by big scary aliens like me.

Release him and the earth girl at once,

or your planet will be vaporized--

a lot!

[all scream]

- Release the prisoners!

[all scream]

Okay, scary alien, we did the thing.

It's pudding time.

- Not so fast.

We also demand that you allow Mark Chang

to live amongst you in his alien form and style hair.

In addition, you should totally leave Chloe Carmichael alone,

because she is awesome,

even if she is wrong-- a lot.

- Finally, Timmy Turner must get his own personal pizza chef.

Ooh, and also he should never have to go back

to the scary room with the walls made of books.

- Oh, and release, Nessie and Bigfoot.

Our band's got a gig at a middle school dance on Saturday.

- What Mark said.

- Done and done.

Retreat!

- Group hug, brahs!

[laughs]

- See, Timmy? I was right after all.

People did accept Mark Chang for who he is,

even if it did take the thr*at of a global annihilation.

- Yeah, and it's also cool that I'm getting a haircut

with the Loch Ness Monster and Bigfoot!

- Mr. Crocker, where are you?

Who am I?

- Pudding!

- I am Mr. Pierre!