10x07 - Booby Trapped

[bunniefuu]

[jazzy music]

- ♪ Timmy's still an average kid ♪

♪ That no one understands

♪ Chloe's his new neighbor

♪ And she's ruining all his plans ♪

- Aah!

- ♪ All the wishes

♪ In the world

♪ So why should he care?

♪ Jorgen has reported there's a fairy shortage ♪

♪ So Timmy has to share

♪ His OddParents, fairly OddParents ♪

- More than one? - This should be fun!

- ♪ OddParents, fairly OddParents ♪

♪ Feather suit, nature boots, laser sh**ting, rescue ♪

- World peace, kale treats,

bunny feet, real neat!

- What? No! Leave me alone!

My fairies! Get your own!

- ♪ OddParents, fairly OddParents ♪

♪ Timmy, beware, you'll have to share ♪

♪ Your fairly OddParents

- Yeah, right!

[adventurous music]

♪

- Chloe, have you seen Cosmo and Wanda?

Also, why is that weird, green bird

eating a combo plate from Señor Amigos?

- Because it comes with a side of taquitos, señorita Timmy.

[gulps]

- And a free fried ice cream ball.

Olé! [gulps]

- Okay, two questions.

Why are you birds? And look over there

while I steal a taquito.

[munching]

- It's simple, Timmy.

Cosmo and Wanda are fish when they're in your room,

and when they're in my room,

I want them to be flightless booby birds.

- Flightless what now? - Flightless boobies.

They're the appendix of the rainforest--

useless in every way.

But they are so darn cute!

- And they're also so darn out of here,

'cause we're headed back to my house for the night.

Let's go, boobies. - Not tonight, Timmy.

We agreed to let the fairies have a sleepover at my house.

- I agreed, but I lied.

- Ho-ha-haaa!

- Ooh, my daddy's home!

I hear his heroic music sting.

[triumphant fanfare]

Timmy, meet my dad, Clark Carmichael.

- Greetings, young leaders of the future.

Oh, sorry, pardon my kelp.

I just saved a beached humpback whale

by giving it mouth-to-spout resuscitation.

[whale wailing in distance]

[imitates whale wailing]

Translation: "You're welcome, Mr. Humpy."

- My dad's a professional hero.

- That's a job?

- It's a calling,

future custodian of our planet.

One might say it's a transcendent endeavor.

- I don't know most of the words you're saying,

but hey, everybody has one weirdo parent.

- [shrieking]

- Ooh, it's Mommy. She's an extreme veterinarian.

- What do you know? You have two.

- Whoo! Ahh.

Pardon the nuts in my hair, ambassadors of tomorrow.

But I just mended the wing of a flying squirrel in midair.

- Of course you did.

[zooming]

- [squeals] Aah!

- Timmy, you've already met my amazing dad, Clark.

This is my amazing mom, Connie Carmichael.

- Oh, I might be amazing, sweetheart,

but your mother's amazing-er.

- Oh, Clark, you're amazinger-est.

- You're both the most amazinger-est.

- Pardon me, Chloe's amazinger-est parents,

but your pants are on backwards.

both: Huh?

- My parents aren't concerned

with the little things in life, Timmy.

They're always looking at the big picture.

That's what heroes do.

- Oh, Chloe, I see you've rescued two flightless boobies.

Brava!

Though the green one doesn't look very happy.

- That's because he ate a bean burrito

and three taquitos.

Well, two. I took the third one.

- [chuckling]

Seriously, though-- you know, Chloe,

feeding a rare bird Mexican food

may not have been the best choice.

- [shrieks]

- Bad choice alert. Bad choice alert.

- [whimpering] I made a bad choice.

I failed to live up to expectations.

Panicking!

Spiraling into self-doubt!

I hope no one else can hear this!

- Earth to Chloe.

What is wrong with you?

You look like a creepy ventriloquist dummy.

- Oh, I'm perfectly fine.

Just drifted off for a second.

Where are my parents? - They left an hour ago.

And did I mention they're a little bit whacko?

I mean--

- Not listening. La-la-la-la-la-la.

My parents are amazinger-est. La-la-la.

- Looks like the nut doesn't fall from the nutty tree.

Well, see you.

- Cosmo and Wanda are staying here,

and we're gonna have a super fun night

full of good choices!

- Okay.

- We'll be fine, Timmy.

Wanda's got a little bell, and--

oh, look, I have a new friend.

Hello, my name's Cosmo.

Hey, my name's Cosmo, too.

Well, which is it? Cosmo or Cosmo Too?

I asked you first.

No, I asked you first.

Stop copying me.

No, you stop copying me!

[screaming]

- Okay, making it a little easier to leave.

- Bye, Timmy.

You don't even know Timmy.

Yes, I do. No, you don't.

Do! Don't! Do! Don't!

- Somebody cover up the mirror!

- Uh, take care of the fairies, Chloe.

I'll be back at dawn.

[rooster crows]

I'm back at dawn!

- Yaaa! [crash]

Ugh! Relax, Timmy.

As you can see, the fairies are perfectly--

gone!

- Gone! They're gone!

- I just said that!

[both grunt]

- Cosmo Too's gone, too!

What am I saying? - Let's stop screaming!

[phone beeps] There's a voicemail from my dad!

- Hello-y, Chloe.

I just wanted you to know that your amazing mother--

- No, you're amazing.

- Well, you're amazing-er.

- You're amazinger-est.

- Your mother and I are in the rainforest

doing hero stuff.

In the meantime, we thought we'd return

your flightless boobies to their natural habitat.

After all, keeping them in captivity

may not have been the best choice.

- I made a bad choice!

[dramatic music]

- Check the crazy at the curb.

Cosmo and Wanda are stuck in the rainforest

without their wands.

We have to save them!

♪

- I know!

We can use the wands to wish ourselves there.

- Oh, no.

Cosmo and Wanda made me promise

never to use them.

They said weird things would happen.

- Just man up and do it.

- I wish we were in the rainforest!

[percussive music]

Well, this isn't so weird.

both: Weird!

Weirder!

Weirdest!

[screaming]

- Oh, Clark, freeing these flightless boobies

is righting another wrong in the world.

- And no one makes it rightier than you, Connie.

- Oh, no, you make it rightiest, Clark.

- You make it rightiest times infinity.

- You make it rightiest times infinity times--

- Okay, let's just put the boobies down,

stop talking, and go away.

- Say, that's a good idea, Connie.

[boobies gasp]

- Be free! - Fly away!

both: Whoa!

- Oops, we forgot the "flightless" part.

- But you're still terrific.

- Oh, you're terrific.

[both screaming]

- Well, that scarred me for life.

But at least we're in the rainforest.

- But we must be careful, Timmy.

This is a treacherous place,

where every predator camouflages itself

to prey on the weak.

- No problem, 'cause Timmy Turner

is at the tippy-top of the food chain.

Ooh, look! A cool walking stick.

[dramatic music]

[screaming] Not a stick!

A snake! With fangs!

[both screaming]

- Look, pink and green feathers.

Cosmo and Wanda left a trail.

- Either that or they blew up.

But let's go with your thing.

Wow, it's hot.

Taking a break on this comfy rock.

- [growling] - Aah! Not a rock!

Spider! With fangs!

[animals growling]

- Oh, Cosmo, how are we gonna get out

of this horrible place without our wands?

- Don't worry, Wanda, I'll get us out of here

with my impressive brain power.

Oh, great, Cosmo Too's back.

I'm not Cosmo Too.

Yes, you are.

That's what I said!

Stop copying me.

And don't stare at me.

You're staring at me!

You're copying me again.

No, you're copying me again!

[squawking]

- We're doomed.

[animals snarling]

Cosmo! Run!

- I am running!

Oh, no, I feel bad.

Should I go back for Cosmo Too?

- No!

- [screaming]

- [screaming]

[animals roaring]

[both screaming]

♪

[both scream]

[both scream]

- Oh, we've stumbled into a vacation paradise.

[calm music]

Now I know how boobies survive in the rainforest:

in style.

- This place is called The Booby Trap.

I'd say the name was suspicious,

but what kind of lunatic would build a resort

just to trap boobies?

- Building a resort to trap boobies

was perhaps my most brilliant idea ever!

- Well, you do set the bar pretty low, Denzel.

- I learned from the master, Mother!

Now loosen your girdle,

'cause we're about to dine into delicious poached booby.

Get it?

I'm a poacher who poaches the things I poach.

I took the whole poaching thing up a notch.

Dibs on the pink one.

That's right. I like pink.

[springboard boings]

- I love this hot tub. [sniffing]

The water smells like garlic and rosemary.

It's almost as if I'm basting myself

in a soothing broth.

- Mmm, this sunblock smells like butter.

[gulps]

Ooh, it tastes like it, too.

I'm gonna rub it all over myself.

Get my back, Wanda.

- Those booby birds are real boobs, Mother.

They're actually seasoning themselves.

Still, the pink one could use a little salt.

[mechanical arm buzzing]

- Ooh, bath salts.

This place is to die for.

- Oh, boy, I'm cooking in the sun.

[springboard boings]

Cannonball!

[splash] Yeah!

All right! [echoes]

- Did you hear that? I think it was Cosmo,

but it's hard to tell with this spider bite on my ear.

- That was Cosmo.

I'd know his girly scream anywhere.

- [screams]

My big ear's catching the breeze like a parachute

on the back of a dragster!

Yahh!

Oh, what do you know? A skateboard.

That ought to speed things up.

Yay!

- [screeching]

- [screams]

Gah! Not a skateboard!

Some kind of k*ller monkey

with an awesome skate logo on his chest!

- I told you everything was camouflaged!

Would there really be a skateboard in the rainforest?

[suspenseful music]

Ooh, a vending machine.

- And I found a dollar.

♪

- [roaring]

both: Argh! Not a vending machine!

A weird lizard with a tentacle!

- [roaring] [both screaming]

- This is an emergency.

I hate to say this, but maybe we should try the wands again.

Nothing could be worse than this!

- Okay, I wish we could find Cosmo and Wanda

and escape from the lizard vending machine.

both: Worse!

[rattling noise]

[both grunt]

- [roaring]

[both scream]

- [roaring]

[jazzy music]

- Kudos to you, Connie,

for returning that lost baby leopard

to its frantic mama.

- Oh, it was truly worth being mauled for.

- You're magnificent.

- You're magnificent-er.

- You're magnificent-est.

Connie, great Scott! Eyeball those footprints!

What sort of rainforest animal wears orthopedic shoes?

- I'm no expert tracker, but I'd say

these prints belong to a bitter, middle-aged man

with a hump and a dead-end job

who can't swallow pills like a big boy.

- And I'd say the second set

belongs to his clingy, overbearing mother

who ties his shoes together when he's not looking

to appease her chronic disappointment in him.

But of course, that's just a guess.

- What's more... [sniffs]

They're poachers!

- How did you come up

with that brilliant insight?

- Well, I am incredibly insightful,

plus they dropped a book called "Poaching For Dum Dums."

- What say we save the animals of this rainforest

from these dum dum poachers?

But first, let's get a well-deserved, cold beverage

from this vending machine.

Look, I found a dollar.

- [roaring] - [screams]

Not a vending machine!

- Still love the rainforest!

[calm music]

- I know how to work it, Mother.

Attention, delicious guests. I mean, just guests.

You're about to be served--

I mean dinner's about to be served

in the booby buffet room.

Come enjoy your flightless feast.

I know I will-- I mean you will!

- Well, that doesn't sound fishy at all.

Let's eat!

[yelps]

Eh, this isn't a very comfortable booth.

- We're not here for dinner.

We're here as dinner!

- Well, I hope we come with sides,

'cause I'm really hungry.

- Cosmo, we've fallen into some kind of terrible trap.

- Oh, don't tell me this is a timeshare.

- Those boobies are toast!

Ooh, come to think of it,

poached booby would be delicious on toast.

Mother, fire up the poacher toaster!

[laughing]

[dramatic music]

- Mr. Crocker? What's he doing here?

- He's gonna poach Cosmo and Wanda!

Apparently, he has too much evil to fit into the week,

so it spills over into the weekend.

- Mother, lower the birds into the pot.

[button buzzes]

[liquid bubbling]

- Mr. Crocker's gonna be sorry

he messed with our fairies.

- att*ck!

[quirky music]

- Oh, deary me, Mother.

Looks like I'm being assaulted by two vicious "boobies."

Oh, they should be here any time now.

Ooh, ooh, ooh, ow.

How will I ever survive?

I know. I'll eat them!

Yay, poaching!

[both screaming]

- Cosmo, Wanda, what's going on?

- Well, I laid an egg.

I think I'm a girl booby.

- Turns out Mr. Crocker's a weekend poacher

who poaches what he poaches.

He took the whole poaching thing to a new level.

- Oh, no. Cosmo Too is back.

I bet you're behind this whole thing.

No, I'm not. You're behind it!

No, you are. No, you are!

Stop copying me!

Don't you just hate Cosmo Too? - Yes!

- Okay, everyone's gone a little cuckoo,

which I get, because we're about to be poached and all.

So Cosmo, Wanda, could you please take your wands

and save us?

- I got them.

I had them.

That's the downside to being slathered

in delicious, buttery sunblock.

- Okay, guys.

I'm gonna spill the beans.

- Ooh, make sure you spill them in the pot.

I love poached beans.

- No, I'm gonna come clean and tell Mr. Crocker

who we really are.

It's the only way we can stop him from eating us.

[clears throat]

Mr. Crocker, it's me, Timmy Turner,

the lovable scamp who keeps your life wacky!

- And it's me, Chloe Carmichael, your favorite student.

If you poach me, you won't have anyone

to sit with at lunch.

- And if you poach me, well--

just don't poach me!

- [gasps] Mother!

These boobies are actually two students in my class.

Eh, it's just a feverish hallucination

from that tick bite on my hump.

- I told you to take your medicine.

- You know I can't swallow pills like a big boy, Mother.

[grunts]

Who tied my orthopedic shoelaces together?

- [whistling]

[button buzzes] - I'm sorry, everyone.

I started this mess, and I'm gonna fix it.

Ooh, I speak flightless booby. - Of course you do.

- I'm calling for reinforcements.

Boo-hoo-hoo-by! Boo-hoo-hoo-by!

- [whimpering]

[dramatic music]

Being lowered into a boiling pot here.

- I haven't said please yet.

Boobies respect social protocol.

Boo-hoooooo-by!

- Aw, come on. By the time they get here,

we'll be on a plate with a side of fries.

- Oh, so there will be sides. Yay!

♪

Yay! Paddleball!

♪

[rumbling]

all: Booby, booby, booby, booby, booby...

♪

- Oh, deary me.

I'm surrounded by vicious boobies.

Mother, time to get a bigger pot.

[all clapping rhythmically]

♪

[trampoline boings]

[zooming]

[thuds] - Ooh!

[trampoline boings]

[screams]

[trampoline boinging]

I'm being b*at by booby birds!

[screaming]

[trampoline boings]

♪

all: Yay!

♪

- Boy, if just once something I tried

actually worked!

I blame you, Mother!

- Chalk up one for the boobies.

Cosmo and Wanda, poof Chloe and me back to normal.

[triumphant fanfare]

- [shrieking]

both: Poachers beware!

[both grunt]

- What do you know? It's Mr. and Mrs. Wrong Pants.

- La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la!

- Chloe, what in good golly

are you and your little friend Timmy doing here?

- Please don't tell us that you came all the way

from Dimmsdale to get your birds back.

- Fine, I'll tell you.

She came all the way from Dimmsdale

to get her birds back.

- Chloe Mother Teresa Neil Armstrong Carmichael,

coming to a dangerous place like the rainforest

might not have been the best choice.

- Bad choice alert. Bad choice alert.

Bad choice alert. Bad choice alert.

Bad choice alert.

- Aw, come on.

Get a grip, girlfriend!

What Chloe did was okay.

You guys took her birds without even asking.

And that was not okay.

- Wait a minute, Timmy's actually right.

Now that I think about it,

you two don't always make the best choices either.

- Still, it's not safe for you to be in the jungle alone.

After all, you're not experienced adventurers

like your mother and me.

- Uh, excuse me, experienced adventurers,

but you're sinking in quicksand.

- That's a sharp observation, young world-shaper.

You have hero potential.

- And another thing. Who leaves pink and green birds

with no natural camouflage alone in the jungle?

They could've been eaten by a vending machine.

- That is a good point. We almost were.

- I just don't see why I should feel bad

about making bad choices

when everybody makes them, including you.

- You know, you might want to put a pin in this talk

while we save your parents from a jungle-y doom.

- Oh, no, let her finish.

We've always encouraged her to express her feelings.

You go on, sweetie, and take your time.

- It's just hard sometimes,

because you're the most amazinger-est parents ever.

And I guess I sort of put you on a pedestal.

- Sinking deeper.

- Oh, honey, you know what the most

amazinger-est thing is?

We put you on a pedestal.

- My--my angel--

[mumbling] It's true.

Whenever we're not complimenting each other,

we're complimenting you to each other.

- We're so proud of you that we carry you with us

wherever we go. Take a look.

- My macaroni necklace from first grade!

My macaroni necklace from second grade!

Ooh, my macaroni necklace from third grade!

both: You're our hero, honey.

- And you're my heroes.

- Oh, Chloe, we worship the ground you walk on.

- Earth to Carmichaels!

None of you are walking on any ground right now.

You're sinking, and fast!

Grab the vine!

all: Aah! Not a vine!

It's a giant tongue of something giant!

With fangs!

♪

- Ugh, don't hug me. You're covered in goop.

- Mommy, Daddy, let's go home,

order a hearty vegan pizza, some reclaimed water,

and compliment each other some more.

- That's a fantastic idea.

- The fantastic-est.

- You're both the fantasticer-est

times infinity.

- Psst. I have a fantasticer-iest idea.

- [shouting]

- [shouting]

[both laughing]

- Turner, Chloe, what in blazes

are you two doing in the rainforest?

- Oh, we're not really here, Mr. Crocker.

We're a hallucination from the tick bite on your hump.

- That does it.

I'm taking my pills like a big boy.

[grunting]

- [whistling]

- Well, everything turned out just dandy in the end.

- Not everything.

Cosmo Too is back.

What are you doing here?

I asked you first.

No, I asked you first.

Jinx. Double jinx!

Stop copying me!

No, you stop copying me. No, you stop copying me!

You did it again. No, you did it again!

- We're doomed!

- Boobies!

Ooh, I found a dollar.

- [roaring]

- Mother?

[jazzy music]

♪

♪

♪