10x15 - Hare Raiser/The Kale Patch Caper

[bunniefuu]

[jazzy music]

- ♪ Timmy's still an average kid ♪

♪ That no one understands

♪ Chloe's his new neighbor

♪ And she's ruining all his plans ♪

- Aah!

- ♪ All the wishes

♪ In the world

♪ So why should he care?

♪ Jorgen has reported there's a fairy shortage ♪

♪ So Timmy has to share

♪ His OddParents, fairly OddParents ♪

- More than one? - This should be fun!

- ♪ OddParents, fairly OddParents ♪

♪ Feather suit, nature boots, laser sh**ting, rescue ♪

- World peace, kale treats,

bunny feet, real neat!

- What? No! Leave me alone!

My fairies! Get your own!

- ♪ OddParents, fairly OddParents ♪

♪ Timmy, beware, you'll have to share ♪

♪ Your fairly OddParents

- Yeah, right!

[frantic music]

♪

- The day we've been dreading is here.

It's our turn to take care of a heinous monster,

capable of unthinkable horrors!

AKA the school pet!

all: Aah!

- Kevin, I volunteer you to take the cover off its cage.

After all, you're family, so I'll be able to dodge

the whole liability thing.

- I've heard the stories, Uncle Denzel.

I'm not going near that thing

without the appropriate protective gear.

- What kind of terrible creature is under that cover, Timmy?

- Trust me, Chloe, you don't want to know.

Cosmo, write us an excuse note

so we can get the heck out of here.

- "Please excuse Timmy and Chloe from certain death."

Now let me just dot the "i" in death.

- This is blank!

- I wrote the note in disappearing ink.

Even though I'm a pencil.

Pretty clever, huh?

- Before Kevin unveils the beast,

I want you all to stay close

and gather round me.

Well, not around me.

More like in front of me, like a human shield.

all: Aah!

It's Mr. Cuddles!

[Timmy's teeth chattering]

- Aww. What is everyone so afraid of?

It's just a cute wittle bunny with a wittle pink nose

and a cotton-ball tail.

Ooh, he's so cute!

I just want to squeeze him!

- Stay back, Chloe.

He's a fluffy demon.

The reason everyone passes Mr. Cuddles around

is that no one can take the stress of having him in class

for more than a day!

- Timmy's right.

Don't look him in the eyes!

- He's bitten every kid in school,

and legend has it he's responsible

for the sudden disappearance of the entire Shickadance family.

- The Shickadances just moved, Timmy.

- Oh, that's what Mr. Cuddles wants you to think.

He already owns your mind.

[thwack]

[bell ringing]

- Lunch!

Shuffle quickly to the exit and keep the shield intact.

- Timmy, I'll prove to you that Mr. Cuddles

is as sweet as he looks.

Hey, Mr. Cuddle Wuddle.

[Mr. Cuddles growls] [Timmy gasps]

- Aah!

- Okay, so Mr. Cuddles is a little cranky,

but wouldn't you be if you were locked up in a cage?

- That depends--would there be mac and cheese in there?

- You'd sell your freedom for mac and cheese?

- You just answered your own question.

- Ooh, I feel bad for Mr. Cuddles.

I'm breaking the bunny out!

Cosmo. Wanda.

[poof]

I wish Mr. Cuddles was free!

- No!

[ting] [poof]

- The next sound you hear will be the happy pitter-patter

of a bunny scampering to freedom.

[children screaming]

- It's loose!

It's the end of days!

[bang]

- Aah! Aah!

All: Aah!

- What have you done, Chloe Carmichael?

- Given an unfairly slandered little bunny

its rightful freedom.

Here, Mr. Cuddles.

I'm gonna give you a big hug.

- [growls loudly]

- What have I done, Chloe Carmichael?

[panting heavily]

- The good news is we're still alive.

The bad news is we don't know for how long.

Time to wish Mr. Cuddles back into his cage.

- Let's compromise.

Let's wish him into a more suitable rabbit habitat.

A "rabitat," if you will?

How about Easter Island?

It's far away and it's rabbit themed.

- Far away's good. Let's go with that.

- [growling]

- Hey, check it out.

I just turned our wands into carrots.

I guess because of the whole Mr. Cuddles thing,

I have rabbit on the brain.

- [chomping and growling]

- You have nothing on the brain!

- This is bad. Mr. Cuddles ate the wands.

And the wands are magical, so weird stuff could happen.

- You mean like that?

- [growling]

- Run for the door before we get Shickadanced!

- The Shickadances moved to Florida!

- Aah!

[tinkle]

all: Aah!

[ominous string music]

♪

- Cosmo! What's wrong with you?

- I have to practice for my scary violin recital.

all: Aah!

Aah!

[panting heavily]

- So this is how it ends--

cowering in the stinky school gym.

I had dreams!

I wanted a camel!

I wanted to shave.

And I wanted to shave the camel!

- This is no time to lose your head, Timmy.

- You mean like them?

[ominous organ music]

[sheeyoop]

all: Aah!

- I also have a scary organ recital.

- Mr. Cuddles ate the Crockers and spit out their heads!

On the upside, we're gettin' a new teacher.

- You wish, Turner.

all: Aah!

- We're alive.

We were just hiding from Mr. Cuddles

so we don't get Shickadanced.

- The Shickadances relocated!

They sent me a postcard from Tallahassee!

- Let's check out these conveniently placed

security monitors.

That should help build the tension.

- Don't look now, but we're locked in the school

alone with a rabbit with an attitude.

- A "rabbitude," if you will.

- I won't.

- We'll be okay.

The students who have escaped will want to save us,

especially yours truly.

- Hey, everyone!

Mr. Crocker's trapped inside with Mr. Cuddles!

all: Yay!

We're getting a new teacher!

- [growling]

- Mr. Cuddles has gotten huge.

He must have eaten Principal Waxelplax.

She's been stuffing her feelings

at the cafeteria pudding bar lately.

- Why did Mr. Cuddles let everyone else escape

and lock us inside?

- I confess! Mr. Cuddles is after me.

- What did you do, Kevin?

- [sobbing]

Before you wheeled him into the classroom,

I swapped my lunch for his rabbit food.

Ooh.

[chomp]

- You gave him Mother's gruel?

Oh, you're a dead man.

[Mr. Cuddles growling]

all: Aah!

- I lost my nephew!

My estranged half-sister's gonna be miffed.

On the upside, Kevin dropped a carrot,

and I could use a snack.

both: Aah!

all: It's here!

[pluck]

[whomp]

- Don't tell me--

you have a scary shadow puppet recital.

- Why wouldn't I tell you?

Am I keeping something from you?

What is it?Tell me!

- Everyone, hide in my locker!

There's plenty of room 'cause there's no books in there.

[phone sounding]

- Hello?

- [growling]

- It's Mr. Cuddles!

He's calling from Kevin's phone.

I'm next!

- If this was a horror movie,

which it's kind of become,

you'd only be next if you did something bad to him.

- Well, Mr. Cuddles and I did exchange words once.

I know what you're thinking, bunny boy.

You think you're better than me.

But you're the one in a cage!

Sure, I'm in my own psychological cage,

living with Mother,

but I'm still free!

When I'm not grounded.

Get out of my mind!

Uh, but he's probably forgotten about it, right?

You know the expression "dumb bunny."

[chomp]

[dramatic music]

both: Aah!

- What's wrong? Do I have a boogie?

Is there a man in the window? A bat in the cave?

both: Aah!

- Mr. Crocker's gone!

I should be happy right now, but I'm just numb with terror!

- There's no way out of here.

Wanda and Cosmos, save yourselves!

- And by save yourselves,

she means go get new wands and save us!

- Will do, Sport.

- [screaming]

Oh, sorry, that was me.

I have a woman's blood-curdling scream recital coming up.

both: Get out!

- Okay.

[stomping]

both: Aah!

[panting heavily]

- [growling]

both: Aah!

- Let's hide in Principal Waxelplax's office.

No one ever wants to go in there.

♪

both: Aah!

[dramatic string music]

- I know I'm next.

I embarrassed Mr. Cuddles with a humiliating selfie.

- You made rabbit ears on a rabbit?

That's dopey, but how do you know

that Mr. Cuddles even saw it?

- It went viral!

And Mr. Cuddles unfriended me!

- Aah! Oh, no. He's coming, Timmy.

But I don't think it's for you.

I think it's for me.

- Phew, that's a relief.

I mean, why?

- My politically incorrect aunt once gave me a winter hat

with a little tassel on it.

'Twas my favorite hat in the whole world--

- Ugh, is this story going somewhere?

'Cause we're about to be eaten by a bear-sized rabbit!

- I found out the tassel was made of rabbit fur.

I should have given it a proper burial,

but I couldn't bear to part with it,

because it's so darn cute!

- You keep the hat with you?

Now who's dopey?

- [growling loudly]

both: Aah!

- Quick, barricade the door.

[pew-pew]

Hand me that chair.

Thanks, Mr. Cuddles.

Mr. Cuddles?

both: Aah!

- This whole nightmare is my fault, Timmy.

It's only right that I should sacrifice myself to save you.

- You know, now that you mention it,

that does sound right.

[dramatic orchestral music]

- [growling]

Aah!

- [growling]

[tinkle]

[uplifting music]

- Mr. Cuddles wasn't after us.

He was just hungry.

He wanted my organic dried papaya bites.

- Your hippie food put us all in danger.

- I prefer to think of it as Mr. Cuddles making healthy choices.

- That explains why he went after Kevin and Mr. Crocker--

for the carrots Kevin stole from his cage.

But why is he always so angry?

- He's not angry, Timmy.

He's protective.

Because he's a she!

And she's a mommy!

♪

Baby bunnies!

I just want to squeeze them!

[both laughing]

[tinkle]

- [happy growling]

♪

[kazoo whirs]

- Well, the world just got a little weirder.

- I knew deep down, Timmy, that Mr. Cuddles wasn't really evil.

- Oh, really?

Then where are Mr. Crocker and Kevin?

- Gah!

Turner, you were right. Gah!

There's a ton of room in your locker.

Put a futon and a hot plate in there,

and it's a big step up from my digs at home.

What's say we talk rent? Huh?

- Please tell me the bunny's gone.

It's not gone!

[both screaming]

- Out of my way, nephew!

Gah!

- I am so gonna nail my scary shadow puppet recital.

Mr. Cuddles! He's back!

Aah! Aah.

- If anyone's gonna nail that shadow puppet recital,

it's me!

- Well, we figured out the mystery of Mr. Cuddles,

but we'll never know what happened to the Shickadances.

- They moved!

♪

- Hi! We're the Shickadances. We moved.

[boing]

all: Aah!

[boing]

♪

[upbeat music]

♪

[knocking]

- Aah!

- Timmy, I think it's time for me to introduce you

to my other bestest friends in the whole wide world.

- Why do I feel scared?

- The Kale Patch Kids!

- Oh, you got to be joking.

- [laughing] I would never joke about

Kale Patch Kids, Timmy.

I've been collecting them since I started earning

an allowance at three months old!

[sighs] What can I say?

I was a can-do baby.

- You said we were gonna have fun today.

- Hop on the Kale Patch Express.

Not there!

That seat is reserved for the rarest

and most special Kale Patch Kid of all--

Princess Pineapple.

Toot, toot! All aboard!

- Aah!

[toot-toot]

- Princess Pineapple is the only one I need

to complete my collection.

Ooh, and I want her!

I want her so bad!

- If anyone sees me on this stupid toy train,

I'll be totally humiliated, so keep it down.

- Kale Patch Kids roll call!

Amy Apricot.

"Here!"

[squeak]

Aquanetta Avocado.

"Word up."

[squeak]

Dr. Arnold J. Asparagus.

"Oy, I'm here, already."

[squeak]

- Stop it!

- But I'm only on the a's!

- They're all here 'cause you put them here!

They can't move around on their own!

Or at least I hope not!

[groaning] How can this day get any worse?

[ting]

- It only gets better, Timmy.

Because I brought my bestest friends too.

The Compost Kids!

- Your friends smell like a dumpster.

Which makes sense because that's where you found them.

- Where they come from shouldn't matter, Wanda.

It's what's on the inside that counts--

maggots!

- Okay, jumping out now.

[lever rachets]

Aah! Ow!

- We're here!

- Crocker's Collectibles?

- After years of searching the deep net,

my intelligence sources confirm that this place has the last

Princess Pineapple in the known universe.

And she's all mine!

- She's all mine!

With Princess Pineapple,

my Kale Patch Kids collection is finally complete.

- What? No!

- Why does every female scream when they see me?

- Come, my lady.

There's a very special seat for you in my Kale Patch Caboose.

"Thank you, my prince."

- She doesn't sound like that!

- "Yes, I do!"

Toot, toot!

[toot]

- Timmy, you didn't tell me your dad collects Kale Patch Kids.

- I was ashamed.

- Now I'm devastated!

How am I gonna break the loss of Princess Pineapple

to the other Kale Patch Kids?

I'm so sorry, Zeppo Zucchini.

"I'm-a so bummed out-a!"

- Ashamed again.

[melancholy string music]

- [whimpering]

- [sighing] Are you really still upset

about Penny Pumpernickel?

- Princess Pineapple! Get it right!

- I'm guessing that's a yes.

- "I'm concerned about your condition, Chloe.

Do you need some medicine?"

Thank you, but no, Dr. Arnold J. Asparagus.

- Wait, we can fix this with magic,

said the boy with fairies.

Cosmo. Wanda.

I wish Chloe had her very own Peggy Pomegranate.

- Princess Pineapple!

- Legal Jorgen here with some legal jargon.

Wishing up an official Kale Patch Kid

is an infringement of strict copyright law.

I tried to poof up a kid a Bucky Huckleberry once

and I was in court with their lawyers for eight years.

[sniffing]

Wow, it stinks in here!

- Oh, that must be Reeking Randy Rutabaga.

Say hi, Randy.

Whoops, his mouth fell off.

- "I've got an ointment for that meshuggaas."

- Eh, I got to say, guys, this is a really weird scene

you have going on here.

[shimmering chimes]

- Oh, Timmy!

[ting] [poof]

It's time to play with Princess Pineapple.

It's her wedding day!

She's getting hitched to the dashing Tommy Tomato.

- No! He's all wrong for her!

He's shallow and kind of a player!

- Come on, Timmy, come on!

The wedding can't start without you.

You're the flower girl. - What?

- And tomorrow, you're gonna be the bellhop

at their honeymoon hotel.

And nine months later, you're gonna be their nanny

when they have a baby!

Hum, hum, hum, wedding!

[humming the "Wedding March"]

- Okay, you're miserable.

And more importantly, I'm miserable.

But I've got a fix.

We steal Princess Pineapple from my dad and give her to you.

You get what you want, and I don't have to be a nanny

to a stuffed pineapple.

- Timmy, as much as I'm tempted to rip Princess Pineapple

from your father's sweaty hands and save her from a marriage

that I truly believe will not end well,

it is wrong to steal.

- Princess Pineapple, you're such a beautiful bride.

Oh, here come the water works!

[weeping] I always cry at weddings!

- Save me! Save yourself!

- I must find some way to forget Princess Pineapple.

- We'll help you, Chloe.

We won't even say Princess Pineapple's name.

Oops, I just said it.

- Said what? Said Princess Pineapple?

Uh-oh, now I said Princess Pineapple.

Wanda, if you hadn't said Princess Pineapple,

I never would have said Princess Pineapple.

- You've said Princess Pineapple

way more times than I've said Princess Pineapple.

- Stop saying Princess Pineapple!

- This is Chet Ubetcha,

reporting from Timmy's Dad's playroom,

where the wedding of the season is about to take place

between Tommy Tomato and Princess Pineapple.

I got to say, it's a pretty weird scene.

- So ashamed.

- Ahem.

Dearly beloved, if anyone objects

to the beautiful union

between this stuffed pineapple and tomato,

then I'm not friends with you anymore!

- I object!

Okay, I'll do it!

I'll steal Princess Pineapple!

- You're not supposed to say Princess Pineapple.

Wait, who's Princess Pineapple again?

♪

- [snoring]

[humming and snoring]

[sneaky music]

- Chloe, come in.

Aah! - I'm in.

- And call me by my code name--

Silent Avenger.

I was gonna call myself Silent But Deadly,

but apparently that means something else.

- That's totally cray-cray.

- No, that's your code name.

- Okay, you're a little over-the-top

with all the high-tech spy gear.

We're just grabbing Princess Pineapple from my dad's toy box.

- Sweet, naive Timmy.

Something as valuable as Princess Pineapple

will surely be protected by the highest levels of security.

There'll be booby traps, a laser grid,

and maybe even a fire-breathing dragon.

- I just popped in to say that your scene

has gotten even weirder.

[poof]

- Okay, Silent Avenger.

Let's just go get Princess Pineapple.

- Roger, Totally Cray-Cray.

[pew]

Don't touch it, Timmy!

You'll set off the booby traps!

- Aah! The only booby in here is you!

[dramatic music]

[triumphant fanfare]

[intense music]

Aah!

♪

[grunting and screaming]

- [growling]

- Aah!

- She's mine!

[mellow guitar music]

[pew]

[goofy music]

- Ugh.

- Oh, Princess Pineapple.

At long last, we are together.

Let's never be apart again.

"Oh, never ever!

"And thank you for saving me from that rotten Tommy Tomato.

It would have ended badly."

I said the same thing!

"That's because we're so much alike."

[squeak]

[ting]

- Now that Princess Pineapple is single again,

I'd like to introduce her to Sir Putrid Prune.

"Enchanté."

Whoops, his nose fell off.

- Good night, Wanda. Good night, Cosmo.

I may have crossed unethical boundaries by retrieving you,

but I refuse to feel guilty.

No nightmares for me.

Good night, Princess Pineapple.

"Good night, Chloe."

[snoring]

- Chloe, it's us-- the ghosts of Christmas past.

- That's all true, except we're not ghosts,

it's not Christmas, and we're not from the past.

- Hey, why am I still wearing the flower girl outfit?

Seems sort of random.

- Anyway, we're here to show you your future.

When you stole Princess Pineapple,

you launched yourself into a degenerate life of crime.

[zooms]

[wondrous music]

♪

After you stole Princess Pineapple,

you got a tattoo and an eye patch

and started hanging out with the wrong crowd.

- Aah! Those are C students!

- I still don't know where you found six kids with eye patches.

- You started stealing candy from babies,

before making the obvious jump to becoming a super-villain

who held the world hostage with a giant space laser.

- And you topped that by refusing to recycle!

- [cackling evilly]

- I'm a monster!

Aah!

- Was it worth it, Chloe?

Was it?

- Aah!

Phew, it was just a dream, Princess Pineapple.

"Or was it?"

- Aah!

Princess Pineapple's gone!

"Dear Timmy's Dad, I've run away.

"I'm fleeing my loveless marriage to Tommy Tomato.

"It would have ended badly.

"Don't look for me, especially at Chloe's house.

Best regards, P.P."

Ha-ha-ha! She wrote "pee-pee"!

But she's gone!

Oh, Tommy Tomato, what are we gonna do?

"I'm cool. I'm kind of a player."

Oh, I wish I were more like you, Tommy Tomato.

But I'm soft inside, more like Billy Banana.

[sobbing loudly]

Timmy, hold me.

- Yeah, I don't think so.

- [shrieking]

Princess Pineapple, you're back!

- Timmy's Dad, I have a confession to make.

- You found Princess Pineapple getting a fake ID

so she could start her life over

wherever pineapples on the run go?

- Not exactly.

- Just go with it!

[heartfelt music]

[squeak]

- This was all my fault.

I drove you away by making you marry Tommy Tomato.

He fooled everyone with his "good guy" act.

- Well, good-bye, Princess Pineapple.

I'll miss you so much!

- Wait! You can't go.

You're a hero for returning my princess

and saving her from a life on the run.

How 'bout we share her?

- Do you really mean that? Who cares?

You said it! No backsies!

Ooh! You know who would be the perfect match

for Princess Pineapple?

Dr. Arnold J. Asparagus.

"Lehayim."

- "He is rather cute."

- She doesn't sound like that!

- Yes, I do!

Get back here, Timmy.

And put on your flower girl dress.

We're having another wedding!

[squeak]

- No words. Seriously.

[ting]

♪

[jazzy music]

♪