01x04 - Belts, Bulls & Superfans

Episode transcripts for the show, "The Villains of Valley View". Aired: June 3, 2022 - present.*
Watch/Buy Amazon  Merchandise


Vic and Eva have three children named Amy, Jake and Colby and were part of a villain group called the League of Villains that was led by the evil Onyx.
Post Reply

01x04 - Belts, Bulls & Superfans

Post by bunniefuu »

Thanks for your help, Celia.

I can't imagine what could've caused

the garbage disposal to back up.

I can.

Who's been shoving their

unpaid parking tickets in here?

Hey, don't look at me!

I don't even have a license!

That hasn't stopped you from driving.

Or flying the occasional 747.

I don't have a license either.

DMV revoked mine for drag racing.

Okay. Enough work, Grandma.

It's Mother's Day

weekend. Time to relax.

Getting the crud out

of pipes is how I relax.

This sucker's gonna need a longer snake.

Better get the 15-footer.

Hey, I need your help.

I can't think of a gift to get

my grandma for Mother's Day.

Just get her something

you know she'll use.

Like a nightgown or a hatchet.

What's this about a day

of mothers getting gifts?

And more importantly,

when do I get mine?

Sunday.

Wait. Don't villains celebrate holidays?

The only holiday we had was Onyx Day.

Which we celebrated

by bowing to our leader

and showering him with gifts.

Good thing it was only once a year.

It was every day.

Well, I'm a mother

and also the leader of this family,

so I should be entitled to

the same benefits as Onyx!

Actually, Mother's Day is more

about spending time with family

and honoring the importance

of a mother's love.

Yeah, I prefer the gifts.

We don't have any money.

Oh, that sounds like a you problem.

So whoever bestows upon me

the best gift, is

winner of Mother's Day.

And the losers?

And the losers get to spin my

wheel of torment.

I thought you left your

wheel in the old lair.

Ooh, I made a new one.

Wow, this oughta be fun to watch, huh?

- You're getting me a gift, too.

- Worth a sh*t.

Morning.

Colbs,

is that helmet still stuck on your head?

Yup.

He's been it so long,

I kinda forgot what he looks like.

I'm starting to get worried.

That I'll starve?

No. That you won't be able to

find me a Mother's Day gift.

Should I bring sticky notes? No.

Markers? No.

Scissors? No.

Let's go, Locker-Blocker!

If I'm gonna be late for class

I want it to be my choice!

And to think people say

you have rage issues.

I'm just stressed about

this Mother's Day gift.

It's not just about the wheel.

I've never got Mom a gift before

and I want it to be special.

Yeah, special works for normal moms,

our mom is the most petty,

vindictive, grudge-holding

grouch on the planet.

Yeah. That's why she's my hero.

Should I bring the stapler?

I don't need it, but I do like

a little weight in my backpack.

Seriously, can you move?

I'd like to get to my locker

before the end of the school year.

Be done in a jiffy.

I've yet to decide whether I need

black or blue gel pens.

Or maybe I'll get crazy and go with red.

It is Friday. Woop-woop!

Amy, guess what!

I found a collector in town

who claims to have the

most impressive collection

of superhero memorabilia

in the entire country!

Superhero stuff? Sweet!

Where is it and how fast

can I get a wood chipper?

Or, for Mother's Day,

you can get your mom

the broken superhero mask

she blasted off Monarch's face

in the epic "Clash on

Centropolis Bridge."

No way! Monarch's, like,

my mom's biggest nemesis!

And giving her that mask

would be like a battle trophy.

This is the perfect gift.

Exactly!

I think you just helped me win

my family's sick and

twisted gift challenge.

You're such a good friend.

thing you've ever said to me.

I know, it felt weird. Let's move on.

Who knew Mother's Day shopping

could work up such an appetite?

I think I'm gonna splurge

and get a ten-pound steak.

Uh-uh.

We need to save our

money for Mom's gift,

so fill up on the free biscuits.

So far, I've got a sparkly cowboy hat,

and a belt buckle with

the cutest armadillo.

But these are for me,

what am I getting your mom?

Come on, let's focus.

What would Mom want more than anything?

A mechanical bull.

Okay, I don't think

that will fit in the car.

No! Look!

"Best rider wins $500."

With your super-strength, you

can totally win that prize money

and then we can partner up

and get Mom one big gift,

and neither one of us will

have to spin the wheel!

I thought the whole point of hiding

was not to use our powers in public.

Well, that's the beauty of it.

Everyone will think

you're a gifted bull rider.

They'll have no idea

you're the fifth-best

supervillain in town!

Yeah. Guess it couldn't hurt

to give these babies a little playdate.

If there's a Father's Day,

please give me the gift

of never doing that again.

Okay, this is the showroom.

Really? Where's the mask?

And what superhero owned

a stackable washer-dryer?

Greetings, prospective buyers.

Welcome to my menagerie of memorabilia.

Wait a minute.

I knew it. Locker-Blocker!

The name's Milo.

Was that not clear from the patch

my mom embroidered on my hoodie?

You're the collector?

I prefer the term

curator of superhero accoutrement.

- Wow!

- Ew.

How did you get Flame Fatale's Whip?

Let's just say my dad

is pretty influential

in the superhero world.

Is he one of the Masters of the Realm?

No. But he does their taxes.

We're looking for Monarch's mask.

The one Surge broke

on Centropolis Bridge.

Excellent taste!

Unfortunately, I've already sold that,

but I do have another piece

procured from that same battle

Surge's Electron Accelerator Belt!

No way!

My mom loved that belt!

She was devastated when she lost it.

- I'll take it.

- Great.

That'll be $1200.

What? I don't have that kind of money.

Well then, you're barking

up the wrong superhero tree.

Sorry, ladies, this is a

high-class establishment.

Dad! I'm with a client!

Look, if you're not

here to drop dollars,

don't waste my time.

Now, if you'll excuse me,

I have to massage my

superhero suits with baby oil.

To keep the leather soft?

Sure.

Oh, well, we tried.

I'm sure we can find your

mom another nice gift.

No, there's no way I'm leaving here

without the belt. Look what she sent me.

Hi, sweetie.

Just a reminder that if

you come home empty-handed,

you could win a night locked in a coffin

with a hungry raccoon.

Two go in. One comes out!

Bye!

Ahh!

- Yikes.

- I know. She's so twisted.

Which is why she

deserves the perfect gift.

Too bad you don't have enough money.

Maybe I don't need money.

Oh. Don't tell me you're

just going to take it.

Okay, I won't tell you.

I don't want to do this.

I do not want to do this.

Why are you freaking

out? He has so much junk.

- He won't even notice if I stea

- Shh!

I've never been a bystander

to someone "s" wording before!

Okay, technically I'm not

"s" wording.

That belt was my mom's.

And I'm just returning

it to its rightful owner.

I really want to get it back for her.

And I need your help.

Please.

Okay, I'm in.

Great. You distract

Milo, I'll get the belt.

Hi.

What's up?

My friend is cheap.

But I'm not.

And I'm ready to splurge.

Starting with this superhero suit

oh Oh!

I'm so clumsy!

The leather! It's creasing!

Hey! What are you doing with my belt?

Come back here!

Uh, thanks anyway.

Eat hay, cowboy!

No one's even come close

to b*ating your time on that bull.

I know!

- Hey, this is actually pretty fun.

- Mm-hmm.

Hey, can you go grab me a water?

Watching these losers eat

dirt is making me thirsty.

Um, what are you doing?

Contributing to this

man's hospital bill?

Then why are you taking his money?

Are you making bets on the side?

That's illegal.

Okay, okay, one or two.

But nothing crazy, you see?

What about your other pocket?

Ok, but that's the last of it.

Please don't look in my pants.

Unbelievable.

You said we were partners

and this whole time, you've been

running a side hustle without me?

I need this extra cash to get Mom

a better gift than all of you.

Well, that does it.

You've beaten every

challenger on the list.

Yes! The 500 is mine!

Ours. The money is ours.

Not until we give the reigning champ

a chance to defend their record.

And who's that?

Me.

- Celia?

- Word is,

someone broke my record.

I'm here to reclaim what's mine.

Yeah, I don't think you want to do that.

Jake is going to mop the floor with you!

At least someone in your

house is mopping the floors.

Y'all are filthy.

We're all in!

Yeah, this wad of money

says 'You're going down.'

Giddy up, punks.

Mom, can you please help

me get this thing off?

I've tried everything.

Okay, come on.

- Momma's got you covered.

- Right.

It's still.. not

working!

Oh!

Sorry!

Still stuck!

Oh!

Is it loosening?

No!

Okay, time to to try something else.

Uh, this might hurt a bit.

No, no, no. Wait.

Mom, you'll never guess what I got you.

What's with the welding gear?

Oh, you know, just mom life.

Okay, well, Happy Mother's Day, Mom.

A gift? For me?

Ooh, what's in here?

Ah!

My Electron Accelerator Belt!

How ever did you find this?!

I sto I "s" worded it.

Do you like it?

I love it.

Oh, it truly is the theft that counts.

I'm gonna go stash it in the lair!

Milo! Uh

What are you doing here?

You stole my Accelerator Belt!

That's not true!

I have trackers on every

piece in my collection.

And my app says it's in your basement!

Well, joke's on you.

'Cause this house doesn't

even have a basement!

Right, Hartley?

Nope, no basement!

You're lying!

And I know because this

app is just like me

Never wrong!

Can I see it?

Ooh, looks like it's wrong now.

I know what I saw.

And if you don't take me

to your basement right now,

you'll be getting a visit from

my dad's superhero connections!

Superheroes? Here?

That's right! This just got real!

Amy, we have no choice.

Just give him the belt back.

No way. You saw how

happy it made my mom.

Well, you can't have

superheroes show up here.

And you can't let my

Milo see your secret lair.

Maybe it's not a lair.

Maybe it's a showroom just like his.

Oh, you're good.

Mom, I don't have time to explain,

but I need your help lying to someone.

Oh, honey! What are moms for?

What's with the blindfold?

Well, just like your security

measures for your showroom,

- we have our own.

- Oh, please, your showroom

can't be nearly as impressive as my

Sweet superhero spandex!

This place is amazing!

Of course, it is.

But we don't have superhero stuff,

we deal exclusively with

supervillain merchandise.

Cool! I bet villains are easier to stiff

because they're not very smart.

Hm?

Ah-ah!

No touchie.

Who are you?

Oh, I'm the bouncer.

You break anything, I break you.

No touchie it is.

Okay, little man, I

think you've seen enough.

And obviously, the belt's not here

so it's time for you to go.

It may not be visible to the naked eye,

But luckily, the tracker app is also

on my watch.

Yeah, well good luck finding

anything because it's not

A-ha!

Hartley! How could you

s-word that poor kid's belt?

Oh, you've got to be kidding me.

Now if you'll excuse me,

- I'll be on my way.

- Oh, not so fast.

You're gonna have to get

through the bouncer first.

Ooh, kitty cat has claws.

Okay, you want the belt? Fine.

You can have it. Under one condition.

Y'll have to battle me for it.

Battle you?

Yeah, I have my superhero stuff.

You have your supervillain stuff.

Let's solve our problems like they do.

Wait, us three?

Against you?

I could destroy you in my sleep.

Well then, all I have to say is

Ooh!

Nighty-night.

Let's just get this over with.

She did it! She b*at your time.

Momma didn't come to play.

Where'd you learn to ride like that?

I used to wrangle wild

boars when I was a kid.

For fun?

For dinner.

Well, that does it.

She's still the champ.

Unless you want to

challenge her again

You're darn tootin'! We need that money.

Jake, get up there and

show her who's boss!

Actually, since we're

betting your money,

I think you should be the

one riding against Celia.

What?! No way. I've got

a rotator-cuff thing.

If you forfeit, I win the money.

Hi-ho, Silver. Let's ride.

Turn it up to full rag-doll.

And make it hurt.

Ahh! Ahh!

Come on, bull!

Whoa! Whoa!

Happy Mother's Day, Celia.

It is now.

I think I dislocated my butt.

Prepare for battle.

How do I sh**t this thing?

That's a lamp.

Ahh!

Wait a minute.

That didn't come from your device!

Oh, well, that's because

my device is invisible.

Oh, that makes sense.

Uncanny!

Whatever device you're using

makes you sound exactly

like that supervillain.

What's her name?

You know, the one with

the annoying voice thingie.

You think she has an

annoying voice thingie?

Whoa!

Take a good look, 'cause you'll

never see this belt again!

Wait.

that's not the belt.

- We're fighting over a knockoff.

- What?

That belt still has the

Bolt regulator on it.

Bolt regulator?

I I mean, I know what that is,

but can you explain for everyone else?

At the bridge,

Monarch sh*t the regulator off my

Surge's belt.

But this belt still has it.

Any collector worth their

salt would know the difference.

So my most prized piece of memorabilia

is a complete fabrication?

Don't want anyone to panic,

but I'm starting to

lose feeling in my toes.

Who's this guy?

That helmet. It's glorious!

Oh, well, in that case,

we will give you the helmet

if you promise to not

tell anybody about us

or here ever again.

- Deal!

- Oh, great.

Okay, it's yours.

You just have to figure

how to get it off.

Easy-peasy.

Latch. Should've thought of that.

So you're telling me

I was put in a headlock

banged against a wall

and almost melted like a s'more

and this whole time, there was a latch?

We didn't know!

You sure we can trust that Milo kid?

Yeah, he's a man of his word.

Plus, I reminded him

I know where he lives.

Well, Mom, I couldn't buy you a gift

but now that my helmet's off,

you're getting the best gift of all

my face.

Technically, your face

is something I made,

so that's like next-level regifting.

Mm, you're lucky you're cute.

Happy Mother's Day, Mom. I

got you your favorite thing.

Something that'll be dead in a week.

Ah! Flowers?

You're lucky you're cute.

What happened to you?

Uh, I fell off a mechanical bull.

What were you doing on one of those?

Trying to win prize money to

get you the best gift ever.

Ah. So

You tormented yourself

and have to suffer the pain

all because you want to

get me something nice.

Oh, that's gift enough for me.

Yes!

I'm sorry I messed up your gift, Mom.

I really wanted your day to be special.

It was special.

Hey, it's not every

day you get to team up

with your favorite girl and

battle a superhero fanboy.

Yeah. We've still got it, huh?

You bet your butt we do.

But I guess since the belt fell through,

I'm gonna have to spin the wheel.

I threw the wheel away.

What?

I think Hartley was on to something

when she said Mother's Day

was less about the gifts

and more about who you spend it with.

Lucky for me, I got

to spend it with you.

- Thanks, Mom.

- Mm.

Did we just have our first

real mother-daughter moment?

Oh, I think we did.

What is happening to us?
Post Reply