01x15 - A Superhero in Valley View

[bunniefuu]

So, I figured out a way

to stop confusing those

twin sisters at school.

Ignore them both. Problem solved.

Uh-huh.

Are you even listening to me?

Uh-huh.

- Amy!

- Uh, see?

If you've been paying attention,

you would've seen that coming.

Sorry.

I was looking at that kid

over there in the hoodie.

He seem lonely.

And weird.

Which probably explains

the lonely part.

Maybe I should go over and say hi.

Oh, right. 'Cause when I see someone

clearly trying to avoid people,

my first instinct is

to always go and say hi.

Well, maybe they're shy,

like you when you first moved here.

I was not shy.

I was standoffish and hostile.

There's a difference.

I'm going over

to introduce myself.

- You can come or not.

- I choose not.

- You're coming.

- Okay.

Then why even give me a choice?

Hi there.

We wanted to welcome you to Valley View.

I'm Hartley.

See? I told you.

Just leave him alone.

Sorry to bother you.

Amy, wait.

Starling?

Starling? What are you doing here?

Did you finally come to your senses

and realize we should be besties?

No.

And I don't know how you got my number

but you need to stop calling.

What was with the disguise?

Shame of being a

superhero finally set in?

I came to warn you.

The superheroes received intel

that you and your family are on the run.

What?

I knew it.

She turned us in and Jake

fell right into her trap.

I didn't turn you in.

Come here.

The superheroes were going

through old security footage

from Centropolis and

they saw me save Jake

from falling off that building

back when he was still Chaos.

Well, you're a superhero.

What were you supposed

to do, let him fall?

Hmm? I would have had

that same moral debate.

It was the "not turning him in" part

that they had a problem with.

Now, the superheroes think

I'm helping your family hide out.

- So tell them you're not.

- I did.

But then, they confiscated my phone

and they found all of my

text messages with Jake

from the last few months.

Yikes!

How many kissy face emojis

do they have to sift through?

Three hundred and fifty-seven.

And then they questioned me,

but I refused to give you up,

so they banished me

from the superhero community forever.

Huh. I always thought you'd

grow old as a superhero.

You know, still flying around in the sky

but, like, 10 miles an

hour below the speed limit.

Wow. All those times I

tried to take you down,

and my brother ended up

doing it accidentally.

Technically, that's still a win for me.

And now that you know,

I should go start my new life on my own.

Wait,

what about your superhero family?

I had to leave them behind.

I didn't want them to get

in trouble for helping me.

Well, at least let me call Jake

so he can come and say goodbye to you.

No way.

If he finds out that they kicked me out

because of him, he'll wanna fight them

which could lead to bad

things for all of us.

I don't think Jake would

risk his family's safety.

By doing something stupid

to save someone else?

Yeah, he totally would.

I should go before he sees me.

Starling, wait.

We can't turn our backs on her.

The superheroes tossed her out

for protecting you and your family.

You're right.

We should kick in five

bucks each for a bus ticket.

That'll at least get her to Louisiana.

She needs our help.

Starling, you can stay with me

while you figure out your next move.

Oh, you can have my bed and

I'll take my sleeping bag.

It has your face on it.

Oh, you can have my pillow, too.

That also has your face on it.

I have a lot of stuff

with your face on it.

Okay. Fine.

But just until I make a plan

and Jake cannot know that I'm here.

Then you better hood up

'cause he just walked in.

Hey.

What's up with your friend?

Oh

uh, she's a table sniffer.

Yeah, apparently it's a thing.

Yeah, everyone's doing it.

Well, congrats, Amy, you're no longer

the weirdest one in Valley View.

Eva, honey,

I'm honored to have you

with the unveiling

of my latest creation.

Oh, well, it was either this

or reruns of house pet divorce court.

I can't sit through another

custody battle over a Corgi.

Check it out.

This device can sh**t a laser

that will mimic the powers

of the greatest villains of our time.

You just choose the power you want

and this device will mirror it.

I call it The Mirror.

Wait, did you say The Mirror?

No, no. The Mirror.

The Mirror.

It's better on paper.

Don't you mean, The Paper?

Hey, Celia just stopped me

and said she's really upset at Jake

for what he did outside

her window this morning.

Hmm. Stop right there.

I don't wanna know what he was doing.

He was rearranging our garden gnomes

into very inappropriate poses.

Oh, that's both better and worse

than what I was thinking.

No, that's impossible.

Jake spent the morning LARPing with me.

So now we're all just

doing embarrassing things?

Celia insists it was Jake.

Or as she likes to call him,

"The boy that shakes

when he talks to me."

Oh, no.

There's only one explanation for this.

Bad Jake is back.

Hey, what do you mean he's back?

I thought you vaporized him.

Yeah. He may have escaped

before I had the chance

and I just didn't tell you.

But to be fair,

hiding things from you

wasn't my wedding vows.

Right. So now everyone thinks our son

is doing villainous

things around the town.

This could blow our secret.

Don't worry. I'll track him down.

I'll put him in my trusty nano-cuffs.

Even Bad Jake's super

strength can't break these.

Really? Then how did

Hartley break out of home

to go find Amy at Colossal Con?

Son, we've covered

this, helpful or hurtful?

Hurtful is always funnier.

Anyway, once I slapped

the nano-cuffs on Bad Jake,

we'll bring him down here.

We'll use The Mirror.

A name I standby by the way.

We'll vaporize him for good.

Cool. I can help track him down.

Shouldn't be too hard,

considering he's been wearing

the same clothes for

the past three months

and the same underwear.

Sorry, Colby. This is big boy stuff.

You just stand back and marvel

as your father saves the day once again.

Too bad you couldn't

do it the first time.

Then we wouldn't have to spend our day

chasing around Jake's creepy clone.

Again, Colby, helpful or hurtful?

Okay, Starling, coast is clear.

Do you really think this thing

is gonna hide me from Jake?

Oh, I know it will.

Every time my grandma wants me

to clean my room, I just slap

on this bush costume and hide outside.

She's never found me.

That explains a lot about you.

Where did you even

get this crazy costume?

Oh, I played a bush in

three different school plays.

The Valley View Times said it was like

they didn't even know I was there.

Nailed it.

I'm glad you two found each other.

Yeah. Well, anyway, I've

come up with some great ideas

to get you out of our lives quickly.

It all starts with you

strapped to a rocket

hurdling towards Mars.

Oh, if that doesn't work,

I have seven other ideas.

Do they all end with

me on another planet?

They do, yeah.

Look, well, I appreciate

all of your help.

I think it's best if I just head out.

The longer I stay here, the

more likely Jake will find me.

Oh, he's coming. Hide!

Hey, yo, peeps.

Everything off the chain?

Yeah, I hear it and I'll stop.

What are you up to?

Just bumped into Celia.

She's really mad at me.

But when I asked her why,

she just growled and said,

"Hands off my gnome, sicko!"

Did that bush just sneeze?

Is that bush wearing sneakers?

Yeah. Yeah.

It's a special bush native to Texas.

It's the, uh

the sneezing sneaker bush.

They're kind of endangered,

so if you try to touch it,

it's our civic duty to report you

to the local Fish and Game Commission

and trust me, no one

wants to go to fish jail.

Nope.

You're hiding something.

No, no.

Let me go!

No!

Starling?

Surprise!

Some people just aren't

cut out to be a bush.

Starling, what are you doing here?

Uh, she came to celebrate

Earth Day.

Yup. She loves the environment.

That is why we are both

dressed like native plants.

You're not dressed like a plant.

Ow!

I'm a cactus.

No offense, but your

credibility was sh*t

the moment you said

sneezing sneaker bush.

This is useless. We should

just tell him the truth.

- Jake, I'm here because

- I wanted to talk.

Yeah, I felt I felt so bad

about ruining your first

date at the junkyard

that I wanted to apologize to her

because

we are friends now.

Yeah.

Friends who don't touch each other.

Hands off the leaves.

Well, now, you two can finally go

on your first date together.

Yup.

That's why I'm here.

So I guess it wouldn't

make sense not to do it.

Oh, well, great.

Then I should go change

into something nicer.

Maybe you should, too.

I told you the trail of garden gnomes

would help us capture Bad Jake.

He just couldn't resist.

What we had to do is

spend $500 at Gnome Depot.

You had your freedom.

Can't believe you were dumb enough

to come right back to where you escaped.

You're the one who created me.

Doesn't that make you the dumb one?

You know what? I'll

answer this one for you.

Yes, the answer is yes.

Hey, why did you come back anyway?

Well, I was planning a destruction spree

but I didn't want lame

Jake to get all the credit.

So I came back to destroy him.

Plus, I kind of miss the guy who

spent four minutes raising me.

Aw, that's my boy.

Well, not really, but

I'll take the fake love.

Wanna play a round of golf

after I destroy your son?

Not sure. Eva, do we have

anything this afternoon?

Yeah.

Erasing a paper trail.

Oh, right, right, right.

Let's see, one second here.

Synthetic son,

don't worry, this won't hurt a bit.

Mostly because you're

a pile of fake flesh

and you can't feel pain.

Prepare to be vaporized.

You know, next time, you

might not wanna tell me

what you're gonna do before you do it.

Seriously? Prepare to be vaporized?

What does that even mean?

How does one prepared to be vaporized?

I don't know.

I was picturing a fetal

position, maybe some begging.

In my head, it was very dramatic.

I'll take that.

Oh, shrink ray.

Seems fun.

No, wait. On second thought,

it's a beautiful day for golf.

We could use the clubhouse.

You like BLTs?

Oh, looks like now

we can play mini golf.

Uh-uh. I just hit my growth spurt,

no way I'm going back.

- Where'd you go?

- Ha ha!

He ghosted you.

But technically he turned invisible

but the joke still works!

I don't have time for this.

I have another brother to take out.

Colby, activate the lockdown mode.

Ah, now you're trapped without the key.

Wait, what?

I made the door so secured,

not even a super strength

can break through.

I call it man cave mode.

Oh, big words for someone who

doesn't think things through!

Well, looks like if

I'm gonna get that key,

I'm gonna have to end up taking

out both brothers after all.

Where are you, Colby?

Over here!

No. Over here.

Over here.

On the bright side, at

least you finally have

a body to match the size of your brain.

Go ahead and order whatever you want.

I don't wanna brag, but I

do have an employee discount.

Oh, how much?

Okay, I lied. It comes

out of my paycheck.

I'm just so happy you're

back in Valley View,

like actually here with me.

I was convinced I'd never see you again

but now we can finally work

through things together.

No complications, no distractions.

Oh, Chimichangas are back on the menu.

Jake.

You're right. I'm sorry.

I haven't even asked about you.

How are things in the superhero world?

Great. You know still super-heroing.

Crime is up, so business is good.

- Do you have to get that?

- Nah. Just a scam call.

No, I don't need a home security system.

I am a security system.

Must be some kind of system

if Captain Valor is selling it.

Uh, yeah.

He has an endorsement deal.

That guy will slap his name

on anything for a quick buck.

Sort of like

your Starling high tops.

That's not funny.

Starling, I'm starting to feel

like you're hiding something from me.

Okay. Here's the deal.

The superheroes know I let

you go when you were Chaos,

and they are not happy about it.

So, now I'm on the run.

What? No.

I'm not gonna let them

kick you out because of me.

It's not that bad. At least,

now I can go by my real name.

Judith.

Yeah, but you're all alone.

Wait, Judith?

Look, it was hard enough

when my family went on the run,

but at least we had each other.

I can't let them do this to you.

Jake, as much as it hurts,

I'd rather deal with that

than risk you or your

family getting locked up.

This is why I didn't wanna tell you

because I knew this

is what would happen.

Oh, it's him again.

He's probably trying to

talk me into coming back.

Give it up, Captain

Valor. I'm not gonna

Starling.

I talked to the

Superhero Tribune Council

and they're willing to drop

all charges against you.

You can retain your superhero status.

Really? That's great.

There's only one thing you have to do,

turn Chaos over to us.

So you recommend the Chimichangas?

Well, it isn't Jake-Ling.

Yeah.

Calling you that cutesy couple name now

'cause I support this.

So, how'd your date go?

I think you both know how it went.

Considering it wasn't a date.

Starling told me everything.

Great. Because pretending to support

this unholy union was

giving me an ulcer.

Look, Jake,

I know you're probably

upset about what happened

but, please just don't

do anything irrational.

Amy's right. I'll be fine.

Like I told you, staying a superhero

isn't worth it if it means

I have to turn you in.

I can never do that to you.

I know.

Which is why I'm gonna do it for you.

- What?

- What?

Call Captain Valor.

I'm turning myself

in to the superheroes.

Come on.

Give me that key invisible fake bro.

You can run, but you can't hide.

I guess you can hide.

Just show yourself!

Not even close.

How do I stop Bad Jake?

I can't do this forever.

You just have to sneak past him

and grab the mirror

and use it to change us back to normal.

Easier said than done.

Bad Jake is 10 times

stronger than the real Jake,

and I've never battled anyone before.

Colby, you're the

strongest villain there is.

You have more powers than he does.

You can easily take him down.

You just have to outsmart him.

Yeah, you're right. I can do this.

Hey, Bad Jake,

over here.

Whoa, what's going on?

It's another power.

You have regeneration.

Of course I do.

I'm the chosen one.

Don't just stand there. Prove it.

I did it.

I took him down.

Guess again.

Oh, yeah.

You just got chosen oned.

And you thought The Mirror was bad.

What's going on down here?

Mom and Dad got shrink-rayed,

and I just took down Bad Jake.

Oh, okay.

Wait. We were in lockdown

mode. How'd you get in?

I pulled the banana.

Well, that's a security flaw.

Jake, you don't have to do this.

Sorry, Judith. My mind's made up.

And I changed my mind.

We're going back to Starling.

Look, you sacrificed for me.

Now I'm gonna do the same for you.

I knew you would say that

which is why we had no

choice but to change the plan.

What do you mean?

- Is that Bad Jake?

- Yep.

We put him in your backup

suit so we can swap you out

and send him in your place.

And he's okay with it?

Well, I did wanna stay

here and destroy you

but now that I have this device,

it'll much more fun to go

destroy a bunch of superheroes.

He doesn't know. That's

a TV remote, does he?

- Hmm.

- Not a clue.

Go get 'em, Bad Jake.

Starling.

It's Captain Valor. Hide.

Ah, there you are.

Nice civilian clothes.

I wanted to keep a low profile.

They are slim-fit joggers.

So stretchy.

Which is great because

I never skip leg day.

Well, here's Chaos as requested.

You did the right thing.

You'll still be punished

for your actions,

but you'll retain your superhero status.

Thanks, Captain V.

And who knows, maybe I

can tempt them to talk

with a couple of pairs

of slim fit joggers.

Come on, let's go.

Uh, I just need a minute.

But go ahead. I'll catch up to you.

We're not going anywhere. Hyah!

What's wrong with this

thing? It's not working.

I've been duped. You've

got the wrong guy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's what all the supervillains say.

It worked.

Of course it did.

You know, just because

you're always trying

to follow my plans doesn't

mean they don't work.

I can't believe you two actually

teamed up to pull that off.

I think we really are friends now.

Uh-hmm. Yeah, I wouldn't go that far.

Fair enough.

So, frenemies?

Yeah, I'm fine with that.

Well, until you tick me off again.

It works both ways, honey.

I'm best friends

with Starling's frenemy.

So what does that make me?

- Creepy.

- Creepy.

I should get going.

Will I ever see you again?

Time will tell.

All right. Wrap it up, Judith.

And just like that, we're

back to being enemies.

You okay?

Let me guess. Still

thinking about Starling?

Yeah.

But as long as I know she's

safe, that's all that matters.

And as long as I know

that she's far away,

that's all that matters to me.

Hey, I just wanna say thanks.

You helped someone you

completely despise for me.

That's the nicest

thing you've ever done.

You're right.

I should probably go

do something horrible

to balance it out.

Hey, did you guys get rid of Bad Jake?

Yeah. We'll never see him again.

Oh, good. That dude super annoying.

He shrunk Mom and Dad.

What? Where are they?

So we agree?

If the kids don't come back,

we split this giant cheese ball.

What?

No. I found it.

Well, I dropped it.

Well, I licked it.

Oh, that's not a cheese ball.