02x08 - Sick

[bunniefuu]

Sick

...I'm a 42 year old, I have 11
wonderful children.

Beavis.

These tastes pretty good.

Ooh, big one.

The common cold can knock you out.

But did you know
that the leading prescription,

cold remedy is more
than 70% alcohol,

or that can make you lightheaded,

woozy, even hallucinogenic.

Wow!

I think we need a doctor.

Yeah, we're sick.

Check it out.

Cool!

Yes!

- Hey, somebody pitched a tent.
- Yeah.

Now this is feel good music.

- This video tells a message.
- Yeah.

- The message is "Vince Neil" is a wuss.
- Yeah.

That guys from Danzig will kick his ass.

Hey, Butt-Head, what is
doctor Feelgood means?

That's, like, when the doctor
makes you cough,

and he puts his fingers on your nads.

Yeah, that's cool.

Oh, yeah?

You don't have a female
doctor, do you, Beavis?

- This video has fire and cars.
- Yeah, and tattoos and leather.

Now, all it needs is some chicks.

- Than it would be cool.
- Yeah.

Fire! Fire! Fire!

Cool!

- This isn't as cool as "Scarface".
- Yeah.

This was before the
music revolution.

Hey this looks like that "Less miserables"
poster in Mrs. Dickie's class.

Yeah.

This less miserables looking thing sucks.

This guy does everything by himself.

Hey, I detect masturbatory overtones.

- "Playing with myself. Oh oh"
- "Playing with myself. Oh oh"

- "Playing with myself"
- "Playing with myself"

- He's talking about choking his chicken
- Yeah.

He's talking about spanking his monkey.

Sweat, sweat, sweat, sweat,
sweat! sweat!

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Sweat, sweat.

- Sweat, sweat.
- Sweat, sweat, sweat.

I'm pretty cool sometimes,
huh, Beavis?

Why!?

Who wants...?
Who wants cheese on..?

Medium?
Medium well?

That's cool.

Number 83.

Number 8-3,

Pickles?
Pickles?

Cool!

And what is your problem?

I kinda... ow!...
have a fork stuck in my head.

We're number 83 and we need
the leading subscription cold remedy.

We are, like, sick or something.

I have not gone on break
in 2 hours and 15 minutes.

And what is your problem?

We're sick.

See?

Look, room seven. Strip down to your
underpants, wait for the doctor.

I'm going on my break.

Cool.

So the doctor says:

"Rectum?
It nearly k*lled him"

Nice wedgie, dude.

Look, it's a thong.

That's cool.

Ah, okay. So, you boys,
have bad colds, right?

- She saw your butt.
- Shut up!

Yeah, we have bad colds.

Probably, like, ammonia or something.

So, we need rest fluids,

and a leading description
cold remedy. A big bottle.

Well, we'll see, Mr. Butt-Head.

How about we start with you?
Just hop on the table over there,

and let me take a
quick look in your ear, okay?

Well, what I actually said,
Mr. Butt-Head, was

"In your ear", not "In your rear".

So, um, maybe you could...?
You know.

You don't call him crisco, 'cause
he fretting the can.

Shut up, Beavis!

- Hey! Hey!
- Butthole!

I tell you what. Let's just
cut this short, okay?

I'll give you each a
quick antibiotic injection,

and you should start
feeling better very soon.

No leading inscription cold remedy?

No wild cherry a cold grape goodness?

No, I never prescribe that stuff.

It tends to make
patients kinda lightheaded.

Homeowner.

Sometimes, they even
get high or hallucinate.

Alright, then.
You can dress now, if you'd like.

In fact, I'd really appreciate

if you do it as quickly as possible.
And the nurse will be in momentarily,

with your bill.

This sucks!
No medicine, no buzz, nothing.

Yeah,
I'm starting to feel better.

What a rip off.

Honey, where's the pickles?

Where's the pickles?

Check it out, Beavis.

- It's those dudes on Stewart's lunchbox.
- Yeah.

This video needs, like, more explosions
and close-ups of butts.

Yeah, they should have somebody
come out and start kicking this guys.

- That would be cool.
- Yeah.

They could kick him.

And punch him too.

Like "Ice Cube".

He could come out
and kick all these guys.

- That would be cool.
- Yeah.

- He said "hanging'".
- Yeah.

If this toad licking thing works,

we not gonna even need
the leading conniption cold remedy.

Anything yet?

Are you sure you licking right?

Yeah.

I don't get it! It suppose to pack an
awesome buzz

Taste like chicken.

- Here toady.
- Here today.

Yes!

Wow!,
"Trials of life".

Why do you think they
call them animals?

Yeah, Volume 1. Hunting and escaping.
Order now! Operators are standing by!

Wow, a Baby!

How did that happen?

Cool!

These guys are pissed off.

- Yeah, they got a bad attribute.
- That's cool.

This is the coolest video
I ever seen in my life.

His beard is cool.

It's King Tut from "Batman".