02x24 - Washing the Dog

[bunniefuu]

WASHING
THE DOG

Okay.
Comfy Mr. Swinerton?

Oh, yes, I'm fine.
I'm...

That guy is old.

You're just being nice
to my rich husband

so he'll put you in his will.

Tune in tomorrow for another episode
of "The Rich and the Horny".

Hey Butt-Head,
do we know any old guys?

Mr. Anderson.

Yeah.

We're there.

Hey Mr. Anderson,
are you gonna die pretty soon?

Yeah, and leave all your money
to someone?

That would be cool.

Boys, every man faces death.

Lord knows I've faced it many times.

I took lead at Anzio.

I was napalmed in Korea.

And boy, that little filly in Paris

put an awful strain on my ticker,
I tell you what.

On your what?

Yep, boys, I've arm-wrestled with death
all my life.

But it been a good life,

and when the Grim Reaper
comes a-knocking,

this van will stop rocking.

So, are you gonna die soon?

- Yes, boys, lm afraid it's inevitable.
- Cool.

So... you got any, like,
chores you want us to do?

Yeah. We won't charge you nothing.

Well, that's mighty nice of you boys.
Let's see here.

Well, you could give
Colette here a bath.

She ain't been feeling well lately.

She's been rolling around
in her own sick.

Smells like teen spirit.

Smells like your butt.

Okay, dude, we'll be back.

- This is gonna be cool.
- Yeah.

- What's with all these squares?
- Yeah.

Orange squares suck.

If I wanted to learn about
geometry, I'd go to school.

Geometry's not about squares.
It's about triangles and stuff.

- I meant advanced geometry.
- Yeah.

These guys sure got wimpy.

Shut up, fartknocker!
These guys are cool!

Oh, yeah.

- Check out this old dude.
- Yeah.

Hey old dude, there is
a duck after you.

- That wasn't funny Beavis.
- Oh, yeah.

Check it out: there is
something cool coming up.

Yeah.

That's not it.

- That's not it.
- Yeah, that's not it.

- That's it!
- Yeah! Yeah!

Yeah.

That's cool.

- That's it again!
- Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

Yeah.

It says "load".

Hey Butt-Head,
these things cost money.

That sucks!

Boys, would you do me a favor

and watch my laundry
while I go to the store?

Are you gonna die pretty soon?

I'm sorry, son, I can't hear you.
You'll have to speak up.

Nevermind. We'll watch your stuff.

Look, an old lady's panties.

It's a poodle. Set it on delicate.

This is gonna be cool.

- Washing the dog! Washing the dog!
- Washing the dog! Washing the dog!

- Washing the dog! Washing the dog!
- Washing the dog! Washing the dog!

Think she's clean yet?

Yeah.
Take her out.

Wow!
Check it out: she's stoned.

Yeah.

Wow.

Hey, cool.

Hey Beavis,

I just made my pants dirtier.

Hey, look out the window.

Those people can see us.

Yeah.

To them, my face looks like a sock.

I barfed on the dog.

I barfed on you.

That was cool.

Let's go.

Doing chores wipes me out.

You said "wipe".

Yes!

It's about time
they play something cool.

Yeah.

This guy kicks-ass!

- This guy looks like Jesus.
- Yeah.

Christ is cool.

Wow, Seattle kicks-ass!

Yeah. Is everybody
in Seattle cool?

Yeah, if you go to Seattle
anybody you see is cool.

- We should go, dude.
- Yeah, yeah.

That's that dude from
"The Spin Doctors".

He jams with
"Soundgarden" sometimes.

She smells worse
then when I gave her to you.

I don't smell nothing.

We used a special new dog detergent,

lemon-scented chunks.

Well, detergent ain't enough, boys.

You gotta use good old elbow grease.

We used

stomach grease.

You know, it's like the story
of the two frogs

who fell in a pan of boiling milk.

One of them said: "I'm done for",
and he gave up and d*ed.

The other one started flapping
his little froggy arms,

flapping his arms, flapping his arms,

till finally he was standing
on a big chunk of cheese.

Wow! We gotta try that.

Yeah. Got any milk?

All's I'm saying is,
you boys have to get up off your butts

and work harder.

Hey, it was free, asswipe.

That's it. Get your worthless hides
off my property

and don't ever come back.

Okay, but

we got just one question.

Get out!

Can we be in your will?

Hey Beavis,

- where is Vanilli?
- Yeah.

That is Vanilli.
Where is Milli?

Set me free Beavis.

Set me free.

Hey Butt-Head change it
or k*ll me.

That's Billy Idol?

This is a story.

Yeah.

The story is:

"Once upon a time, Fonzie dyed his
hair blond,

- and got on his motorcycle".
- Yeah.

And, uhh...uh,

than he started singing, and this woman
dropped this TV out of her window.

No way.
Then he got in a motorcycle accident.

And there was blood.
The end.

Whoa! It's that
"Weird Al" dude!

- There's gonna be a fight?
- Yeah.

It's gonna be one of those girl fights.

Fight! Fight!

Whoa! He's gonna get
some 'cause he's "Weird Al"

Yeah.

If you're famous, all you have to
do is just walk up to chicks and say:

- "Give me some."
- Yeah.