World's Fastest Indian, The (2005)

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World's Fastest Indian, The (2005)

Post by bunniefuu »

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Burt. Shut that

bloody thing up.

Do you know what time

it is? Burt!

Burt! You stupid old bastard!

What do you think

you're doing?

Sorry George,

what did you say?

Do you know what time it is?

I'm sorry, I've got a heck

of a lot to get done today.

And you know what they say.

"The early bird catches the worm".

Well, if you do this again,

one more time, I'm calling the cops.

And how about

mowing your lawns?

Is a bloody disgrace

to the neighborhood.

Oh, alright.

Hi, kid.

Here we are, the...

perfect recipe...

two of Chevy...

one of Ford.

I think those '36 Chevy pistons...

must have a touch of titanium

or something in them.

They come up real good,

you know.

Hey the kettle's boiling.

Make yourself useful,

make some tea.

Can we have a biscuit too?

- What?

- Can I have a Gingernut?

Yeah, you know where they are,

help yourself.

Now you stay over there,

stay there.

- Right.

- What are you doing for Christmas, Burt?

Christmas? I don't know.

Why?

Are you angling

for a present or something?

- No, I wondered if you were going away.

- No...

no time for Christmas, lad.

Got a lot of work to do.

I only managed twenty seven

test runs this year.

You know, twenty four on the beach

and three on the road.

All illegal like.

I was going a bit over the speed limit,

I'll have to admit.

- How fast were you going?

- I don't know, I haven't a clue.

Thas why I have to get up

to Bonneville.

Found out how fast she will go.

Now, there you go.

Got to get the piston out

of the mould...

and Bob's your uncle.

Right, this is...

the last part

of the operation now.

To chill the metal.

It heat treats it.

Right, watch yourself.

Thas where I got the water

for the kettle from.

Well, you know, it gives the tea

a nice tang of titanium, doesn't it?

Now this bloke,

he once asked me...

"How do you heat treat your pistons?"

And I said: "I don't, mate"...

I just, you know, bung them

in cold water and Bob's your uncle".

And he said:

"Well, thas the heat treatment"...

and he just laughed and

shook his head and walked away like.

Well, look this could be

the perfect piston.

It blooming well ought to be,

I've made hundreds of them.

Look at them all up there,

all blown to smithereens.

- You made all those?

- Yeah, I did. Look perfect.

Beautiful, no inclusions see?

Now Tommy, does your mother have

a carving Kn*fe I could borrow?

Carving Kn*fe? Yeah?

Yeah.

I need a good sharp Kn*fe.

Hang on.

- Thomas, what are you up to?

- Nothing, Mum.

Can I have some bread

and peanut butter?

Ok, but make sure you put everything

away when you've finished.

Sorry about that.

Tom.

- Don't forget the wood.

- No, Mum.

Right.

I hope to get as much...

rubber off as possible.

It has to be perfectly bald,

like that, you see.

- Why's that?

- Well, at high speed...

the centrifugal force...

expands the tyre and...

it rubs against

the frame of the bike.

Have to be careful not to cut

through the cords though.

- Why do you pee on your lemon tree?

- What?

Why do you pee on your

lemon tree?

- Who says I do that?

- Mum says she sees you...

every morning and

she goes on and on about it.

Does she?

Well, is good for it. You shouldn't

waste anything in this world, sonny.

- Well, I'd better be off home.

- Alright then.

Mum gets a bit cross if

I stay over here too long.

She does.

- Are you finished with the Kn*fe?

- Not yet, I'll drop it by later.

No, don't do that,

I'll pick it up after school tomorrow.

Alright.

- Bye.

- Cheerio.

- Burt Munro.

- Yeah.

I believe you have

my carving Kn*fe.

- Oh yes.

- And my sharpener.

Hang on, here we are.

Well, thanks a lot, love.

G'day Frank. How are you?

Oh not bad, could be better,

could be worse.

I see your front tyre's going

a bit flat on you there, Burt.

Yeah, well, the good news is,

is only flat on the bottom.

I'll see you tomorrow night

for the fun and games.

Ill be a good one.

Hello, Fran.

- Give us the lot will you? The usual.

- One pension check. Coming up.

Fran...

I want to ask you a question,

the answer to which is...

a definite yes.

- Alright, Fran?

- Alright.

Yes.

What is the question, Burt?

Would you feel inclined to,

you know, accompany...

an impeccable young gentleman

to a local do tomorrow night?

You're asking me on a date,

Burt Munro?

Well, yeah, I suppose

I am actually, aren't I?

- Would you?

- You're on.

- Hello, son.

- Hey, Burt.

Thas disgusting.

It is, isn't it?

All dressed up

for the do tonight...

and I couldn't get

my best shoes on...

because my toe nails had grown

like oyster shells.

Alright...

this should do the trick.

There, look at that.

Little twinkle toes.

- Thanks, Burt.

- Right on.

- Evening, Burt.

- Thank you...

- this is Fran.

- Hello, Fran.

Thank you very much.

- Hello, Duncan.

- Burt.

Just going to say hello and be back

in a second, love, alright?

- How are you?

- Bike going well?

Yeah, not too bad.

- Happy birthday, Burt.

- Thanks a lot, mate.

This is a bit of

a surprise, isn't it?

Would you like to buy

a raffle ticket or two?

- Whas it for?

- Porky the Pig plus two dozen beers.

We're raising money to send

Burt to the USA. Our mate, Burt.

Hello. Come on and dance.

- Whas this? The twist?

- This is the twist. You know the twist?

Come twist with me.

See you can twist.

- Thas it, thas it.

- This must be it, the atomic invasion.

Then the air clears

and the dust settles down.

You look outside,

have they leveled the town?

But there, in the yard...

so briskly alive...

stands Burt Munro's trusty...

old Indian Scout '45.

That was a wonderful

tribute to Burt.

Now come on Burt, we want you up

on stage, come on...

come on, up you come.

I hope all of you have bought

a raffle ticket tonight...

because we believe Burt will put

the Southland Motorcycle Club...

on the map.

Whas going on out there?

Get out of here.

Oh, dear.

Well folks, it looks like

I've cracked it, I've um you know.

You Burt Munro?

- What did he say?

- I said, are you Burt Munro?

Are you looking for old Burt?

I don't know,

anyone seen Burt anywhere?

Anyone seen Burt?

- No, he's...

- You are, you're Burt Munro.

You're the old codger,

rides the Army Indian right?

That old joker.

Burt Munro. Yeah.

Yeah, thas me I think.

Now the, ah, young fella,

the army Indian is a real dog...

what I've got is the...

genuine article,

the 1920 V twin Scout.

- Thas the one with the pedals, right?

- Don't put up with that, Burt.

No, well. Well, I don't know what sort of

push bikes you monkeys came into town on...

but I know my old timer would trash

the backsides of whatever they are.

- I don't think so, granddad.

- No.

Well, why don't you chaps

put your money where your mouth is?

You're on. You old coot.

- Looks like they've chickened out, Burt.

- What?

- Looks like they've chickened out.

- They're here.

They're here.

Thas nice of them

to show up isn't it?

A hundred says

the Indian comes last.

Right.

Come on, Burt.

Ready, steady...

go.

Come on, give me a push.

- Come on.

- Come on, Burt.

Give me a push.

Come on, push hard.

Bugger it.

Bugger it.

Come on! Go!

Bugger!

Nice bike, granddad.

Loser.

Thanks, fellas.

- Better luck next time.

- Better luck, Burt.

There you go.

- Well, thanks, love.

- Careful, is hot.

Well, at least I gave them

a good run for their money.

On the downward leg anyway.

Burt... Whas it going to cost

to get over to America?

Sorry, love.

What did you say?

How much is it gonna cost

to get over to America?

I don't know,

about two thousand I'm told.

And how much money

have you got now?

Apart from today's disaster

and the dough from last and you know...

the pension money

I've been saving...

I'm about twelve hundred and 75 dollars,

United States dollars, I reckon.

Well, I could lend you some money.

Thas very kind of you Fran love, but no.

I couldn't do that love. No, thanks.

Well, there must be

something you can do.

Well, I haven't told anyone

else this, Fran, but...

I don't reckon I'll be gonna Bonneville.

I reckon not this year anyway and...

you know, seven hundred dollars

is a lot of money to find...

and the boat leaves in five days.

Except I would like to see

how fast she would really go...

before I fall off the perch as it were.

Before I ah, kicked the old bucket.

Hello, Lloyd.

Gidday, Burt.

Shame about the fall.

Well, I'm still

in one piece aren't I?

Good,

what are you having tonight?

Specialty of the house,

pea, pie and pud.

- Thas five bob.

- Alright.

Burt? Why don't you take out

a mortgage on your house?

- What house?

- Well, your property.

I mean is worth something.

Here you are.

Burt Munro,

look at the color of your hands.

- Whas the matter with them.

- You're gonna wash those mitts...

before you put them

anywhere near me.

There we are.

Wakee, wakee.

Time to rise...

and shine.

Burt, you're a sweetie.

Got to get out of here before

the neighbors spot me.

Burt, this tastes a bit odd.

Is metallic.

You are my sunshine

My only sunshine

Oh, crikey!

What?

I've got a pain in my chest.

He's in the shed, hurry.

Mum, Dad,

something's happened to Burt.

Burt, whas wrong with you?

I'll be alright Tommy,

don't worry about me.

- Are you sure?

- Yeah.

What are you all staring at?

Dirty old men need love too.

- Mr. Munro.

- Hello.

So, whas the story, Doc?

- I'm sorry, is not good news.

- Oh, yeah. Well, fire away.

You've had an att*ck of angina.

You have arterial sclerosis.

And whas that?

Is a narrowing

of the arteries from the heart.

Oh, dear.

Yeah, I'm afraid there's not too much

we can do for you at your age...

other than suggesting you

take it easy.

Look if you have another att*ck,

pop one of these under your tongue...

let it dissolve

and then swallow the saliva.

The pain should be gone

in thirty seconds.

- Yeah, what do you call these things?

- Trinitrate pills.

Um better known as nitro glycerine.

- The stuff you blow things up with.

- Yes, but in much smaller quantities.

Alright.

Will this have any affect on

me riding my bike?

Unfortunately, I think your

motorcycling days are over.

Like hell they are.

It won't be much longer.

Springfield.

Springfield.

Thas where the Indians come from.

- Indians?

- Yeah, the Indians...

from Springfield,

Massachusetts.

The worls greatest

motorcycle.

- Is that so?

- Thas right.

- You can come through now.

- Alright, thank you.

Yeah, Springfield.

The plan is for me

to drive up to Timaru and...

then me and my bike...

will catch a boat to the US of A to...

Los Angeles,

and the boat leaves on Saturday.

And I'll buy a car

in Los Angeles...

and drive up to Utah,

to the Bonneville Salt Flats.

- Is really important you do this trip?

- Sure is mate, you know.

Ever since I was a lad I've been

interested in things that go fast...

you know things

that rolls and go and...

at Bonneville things go real fast.

Is...

this giant dried up lake bed...

and it goes for miles

and miles and is dead flat...

and you can drive a vehicle just

as fast as it will go and is.

So is one of the few places

on earth...

where you can find out just what

you're machine is capable of.

In fact here I'm on the, thas me on the

front of the New Zealand Motorcyclist.

Thas the Indian there.

- Very good!

- Yeah, a few years ago.

So I'd best be off soon...

because I don't know how much longer

I've got to live you see.

Yes, I don't think

I heard that last statement.

I said I don't know

how much longer I've got to live.

I heard you the first time.

So... tell me, Burt.

What are you offering

as collateral for this loan?

Well, my tools, my bits and pieces, my

trophies and a lot of things like this.

Well, I don't think they'd be

of much interest to the bank...

I think we'd be looking for

something more substantial.

Something like the deed

of title to your property.

- Did you get the money?

- Yep, I'm off on Thursday.

Thursday? That soon?

I wish I could come too.

Oh, maybe next time.

Thomas. Is dinner time.

Come home now.

- Nearly finished, Mrs. Jackson.

- Yeah, Mum, we're almost finished.

See you after dinner, Burt.

Alright, lad.

Hey, not so fast.

I'm the record breaker.

Where are you going?

And thas the...

before I put the...

you know, the streamliner on it.

Whas that one?

Thas a girlfriend of mine

when I first bought the bike.

It was a long time ago that was.

Aren't you scared you'll k*ll

yourself if you crash?

No...

you...

live more in five minutes

on a bike like this...

going flat out than some people

live in a lifetime.

And...

yeah, more in five minutes.

Thas my Dad there.

And my mum.

They're all gone.

God, is gone by so fast!

You know,

danger is the spice of life...

and you've got to take a risk every now

and again haven't you, son?

You know thas

what makes life worthwhile.

And you know,

having some nice ladies around...

will you pick out my bike?

- You really don't get scared?

- No, no.

You know...

when I was a boy

about your age...

I had a little twin brother

whose name was Ernie...

and one day our Dad was out

the back cutting down a tree...

and...

suddenly it got hung up, the tree

that is, it got stuck on something and...

Ernie went to go and help.

All of a sudden the tree...

slipped and fell on him

and k*lled him stone dead.

I always remember that.

Anyway, since then I've always tried

never to be scared of anything.

Although I must say before...

a big bike event I do

sometimes get nervous, you know...

if the butterflies

in my stomach were cows...

I'd be able to start

a dairy farm.

Thas funny.

When they took you off in the ambulance

to the hospital. What happened?

I don't know, just a touch

of indigestion I think.

Yeah, thas all it was. There's nothing

wrong with me, don't you worry about me.

And anyway at my age...

any day above ground

and vertical is a good day.

Listen, you take care

of this until I get back alright?

- What happens if you don't come back?

- We'll talk about that then shan't we.

- Hey, Burt?

- Yeah.

Don't forget

to mow your lawns will you?

- What?

- Don't forget to mow your lawns.

My Dad goes on and on about it.

He does, does he?

He says it lowers the property

values of the neighborhood.

Well, oh dear,

we can't have that can we?

What are you doing?

Hello, son.

I'm just getting rid of the grass.

Burt, what the hell

are you doing this time?

Oh, like you said George

I'm getting rid of the grass...

being a good neighbor

before I leave tomorrow.

Tom, Tom!

Get back inside now!

Now!

Honestly, Burt!

- What are they doing here?

- It might be the fire, Burt.

Right, the tyre goes in first.

Thas it.

Thas it, Jeff. You've got it.

This goes in here.

Pills...

license, passport.

Right, les see,

I've got everything?

Spectacles, testicles,

watch and wallet.

What are you laughing at?

I'm on my way.

- Dad says to call us collect.

- What?

Dad says to call us collect.

- Thas nice of him.

- Tell us how you get on.

Thank you.

Thas our phone number.

- Do you think you'll break the record?

- Well, I hope so.

Dad doesn't think

you can do it.

Is that what he said?

He said everyone thinks that.

Well...

Except me.

You're a good boy, Tom.

I'll tell you something, son.

If you don't follow through on your

dreams, you might as well be a vegetable.

What type of vegetable?

I don't know...

a cabbage.

Yeah...

a cabbage.

There you are.

Don't lose it, will you?

- I promise I'll look after it.

- Right.

So keep an eye on the place

for me won't you, Tom.

And...

don't forget

to feed the fowls.

- Thas my job.

- Yeah.

And...

you can give

the eggs to Mum and...

what else is there?

Oh, yes...

you can pee on my lemon tree

for me if you like, while I'm away.

And there's nothing wrong

with peeing on your lemon tree...

as Confucius used to say, is the best

natural fertilizer in the world.

- Who's Confucius?

- He's some bloke who lives up in Dunedin.

Thanks for you help, chaps.

- Good luck, Burt.

- Thanks, Jeff.

- You show them over there in the States.

- I will.

Take it easy, Burt.

Thas not one of the things

I'm planning on doing, George.

Cheerio, love.

Good luck.

Cheerio, my friend.

If you don't go when you wanna go

when you do go, you'll find you're gone.

- I'll see ya.

- See ya, Burt.

Bye, Burt.

- Good luck.

- Cheerio.

See ya, Burt.

Look at that!

Well, Fran,

I'm finally on my way.

I thought some more

of the blokes from the club...

would have dropped

by to see me off.

Well, they probably had

to work today.

Yeah. Yeah, thas right.

Yeah, young Tom tells me...

that no one thinks

I can do it.

- Do you think I can do it, Fran?

- I don't know, Burt.

I don't think it really matters

one way or the other.

You know, I read something once,

years ago.

I learnt it off by heart.

It was Theodore Roosevelt

said it...

is not

the critic that counts...

not the man who points out

how the strong man stumbles...

or where the doer of deeds

could have done them better.

The credit belongs to the man

who is actually in the arena.

Wind your window down!

Down.

What?

Some beer money.

- What?

- Some beer money.

I don't drink.

Good luck.

- You go well.

- Thanks, mate.

Show them Kiwi's can fly.

Yeah, I'll bring you back

the Statue of Liberty.

Good on you mate,

thanks a lot.

Hey, not so fast!

Crikey!

Take it easy, mate!

I thought it was a goner.

Better get going.

Yeah, alright...

take care of the old jalopy,

won't you?

- You look after yourself.

- I will.

You've got your pills

and everything, right?

Yeah, yeah, right as rain.

- You come back in one piece.

- I will, cheerio.

Where's the Captain?

Down below.

- Down the gangway there.

- Thanks.

There we are.

I'm looking for the Captain.

Thas me.

My name's Burt Munro.

I'm supposed to do a job to work

my passage to Los Angeles.

- Yeah, well, I hope you can cook.

- Cook?

- I'll give it a go.

- There's the galley.

Crikey!

Who does the dishes, mate?

You.

Smells good.

What do you have

for us today, Burt?

Is good Kiwi tucker.

Don't let Burt see you

doing that.

Here, don't spoil it

with all that sauce.

- Sorry, Burt.

- Stone the crows!

Are you going to watch

the movie, Burt?

- Whas that?

- Are you going to watch the movie?

- Whas it called?

- Broken Barrier.

- Is supposed to be good.

- Is Jane Russell in it?

There's a spare seat

over here, Burt.

Smoke?

- No. Not for me, mate.

- You don't smoke Burt?

No, I don't

and thas why people say to me...

how do you keep going

at your age, Burt...

and I say,

well because I don't smoke...

so I'm telling you young monkeys,

don't smoke.

You can laugh,

but my Dad said...

why contaminate your lungs

with tobacco smoke?

The only thing you accomplish with

smoking is destroying your lungs...

- and shortening your life.

- k*ll the lights.

Is Jane Russell in this?

Go well, Burt.

- Thanks, mate.

- Not for this.

- Good luck to you, Burt.

- Thanks.

Remember what I said.

Don't smoke.

I'm trying.

Cheerio, mates. See ya.

Welcome to the United States.

Customs to the left.

Thank you, good to be here.

G'day.

G'day.

Please, stand behind the yellow line

until you are called, sir.

Whas that?

- Behind the yellow line.

- Yellow line?

G'day.

Passport and customs declaration,

please sir.

There you are.

How long do you intend

to stay in the United States?

However long it takes me to get

to Bonneville and back.

And the purpose of your visit?

To set a land speed record

on my Indian.

Indian?

Mr. Munro...

- So this is your first time to America?

- Yes, sir.

You gave some rather odd answers

to the Officer...

so we just have a few further

questions we'd like to ask you.

- Well, fire away.

- Well, les go over again what you said.

Now what exactly do you intend to do

here in the United States?

Well, set a land speed record.

- And how do you intend to do that, sir?

- On my motorcycle.

Is in the hold of the ship

at the moment and...

they're going to unload it tomorrow.

Is an Indian, a 1920 Indian Scout...

modified somewhat.

You know what?

- I think I've read about your bike.

- Yeah?

Yeah, it was in Popular Mechanics,

a couple of years ago.

Thas right, thas me.

A Leslie Hobbs from Christchurch

sent that story.

What was it?

Fastest motorcycle in Australia?

Yeah, and in New Zealand.

Well, I guess you're legitimate,

Mr. Munro.

It sounds like we should be very

honored to have you here in America.

- Well, thank you.

- We're going to give you six months...

that should be time enough

to get the job done.

- Welcome to the USA.

- Thank you very much.

- Good luck, sir.

- Thank you.

- Gears in the trunk.

- What?

Bags in the back.

Bag, back!

Don't worry about me,

I'll do it myself.

Strewth!

Sit in the back, in the back!

- What?

- You, in the back!

Tell you something, mate,

you don't want to get old around here.

Ta ra.

- Where to?

- What?

- Where to?

- Hollywood.

Yeah, I want to go to Hollywood,

I want to see the film stars.

Okay, we go to Hollywood.

Where in Hollywood?

A motel on Sunset Boulevard...

I hear thas a pretty great street.

I don't know who you talking to lately.

Which motel?

I don't know...

a recommended one.

Come on man, what do you think

I am, an encyclopedia?

Drop me somewhere

and I'll sort it out myself.

Must have a bit

electricity bill here.

Firestone...

Shell.

Is all about cars, isn't it?

I've never seen so many cars.

- You say something, man?

- I said I've never seen so many cars.

Got to get around somehow.

Look, there's a bowling alley.

Do you bowl?

Whas he honking his horn about?

Jesus!

Crikey, did you see that?

That blokes backing into that

geaser's car.

He's crazy, he's nuts.

He did it again.

Don't stare, there's a lot of

crazy people in this town.

I've never seen anything

like that before.

- This should do...

- Whas the damage?

US$28, plus bag...

- US$29.

- What?

Did you just say

what I thought you said?

- Are you deaf?

- What?

- Are you deaf?

- Yeah, I am a bit deaf, but I'm not stupid.

- How much did you say it was?

- US$29.

No, I don't want to buy the cab, mate.

I just want to pay the fare, thas all.

- Where you from?

- What?

- You a British?

- No, you must be joking...

I'm no Pommie,

I'm from New Zealand.

Well, this is America.

And the fare, right there on the meter,

US$29.

Open your wallet

and let the moths out.

I'm doing it, I'm doing it.

There you go, US$29.

- No, don't forget the tip.

- What?

Yes, we tip in America.

Ten percent.

- How much?

- Ten percent.

Oh yeah, there you go, ten cents.

Excuse me, sir.

- You look like a generous man, sir.

- What?

- You look like a generous man.

- Oh do I?

Yes you do. Would you like to buy

a flower to give to someone special?

Well,

sorry I don't have any cash.

Don't worry,

the money goes to a good cause.

Is for an organization

that helps needy people.

Oh alright, well, how much is it?

- Just give what you can afford.

- Alright, well.

They all look the same to me.

They're all green.

- Yes, thas why we call them green backs.

- That looks like a one.

- Look there's one.

- No, thas a ten.

- Thanks, you have a good day.

- No, thas a ten.

Hey come on miss, thas a ten.

I didn't want to pay that much.

Hey, come back.

- Hey baby.

- What do you want?

- You wanna go?

- Go where?

- Go inside.

- I'm going inside.

I'll take you around the world.

I've just come from halfway

around the world.

15 bucks, baby.

15 bucks.

No, sorry, go away.

Hello.

- I need a room.

- A room will cost you five bucks an hour.

I'm planning on staying

a wee bit longer than that.

- How long?

- I don't know, a couple of days I guess.

- Double occupancy?

- What?

Double occupancy?

No, just me, myself and I.

Will it cost a lot because

I can't afford a lot.

- You a member of Triple A?

- What?

- Are you a Triple A member?

- Never heard of them.

Never heard of Triple A?

No Miss Brittle Britches,

I have not heard of Triple A.

Okay, les just say

you are a member doll.

- Alright.

- Thall save you ten percent.

How does 22 bucks a night sound?

That much? Is that cheap?

Honey, thas cheaper than cheap.

- Whas your name?

- Tina Washington.

Well, Tina Washington,

I want you to have this,

it might cheer you up a bit.

Get some of that muck

off your pluck.

Well, thank you.

Thas the first nice thing

thas happened round here all week.

You're welcome.

My name's Burt Munro.

From New Zealand.

I'm from down under.

Well, hello, Burt Munro

from New Zealand down under.

I tell you,

I've had a heck of a night.

Welcome to Hollyweird.

Hello?

Anybody home?

- Hello, Tina.

- Good morning, Burt.

You still here?

Thas why you were

so crabby last night.

Don't you ever get any sleep?

I work a night shift.

I'm out of here as soon as James

turns up and he's late.

Yeah, could you phone

this number for me?

Yeah, is a shipping company

and they've got a big box of mine...

and I want to know how

to arrange to get it.

No, you talk to them,

they'll never get my accent.

Okay, what do you want me

to ask them? One moment please.

Ask them when a Burt Munro's box

containing the motorcycle...

will be ready for pick up.

Hello, I'm calling

for Mr. Burt Munro.

Yes, he'd like to know when the box

containing his motorcycle...

- will be available for pick up.

- What ship?

- What ship?

- Rangatira from New Zealand.

The Rangatira from New Zealand.

- Is arrived.

- So he can claim it?

Tomorrow from the Long Beach

customs holding area.

Okay, thank you, I'll tell him.

Bye-bye.

That was pretty fast.

You're late.

I can't stand another minute in

this place. Let me buy you breakfast.

Well, this is great.

You know, I've never seen

a menu with photographs before.

- Are you ready to order, sir?

- What?

- Are you ready?

- Oh yes...

I think the Double Delight,

thas for me.

- How would you like your eggs?

- What?

How would you like your eggs?

Well, I'd like them cooked.

Sunny side up? Over easy?

- I don't know, whatever you recommend.

- Over easy's best.

Alright, eggs over easy.

Make that two.

Over easy.

I must remember that.

Yeah, I like this American

breakfast thing.

Is good.

So my girl, where's the best place

for me to get a used car?

The Valley.

After breakfast I could

take you there.

Oh Well, thank you.

And I'm not a girl.

I'm a boy.

I thought there was something

a little odd about you.

But hey,

you're still a sweetheart.

Yep.

Thanks a million, Tina.

Hey,

there are stacks of cars here.

- I'll be back in the motel later on.

- Bye.

Bye.

How may I help you, sir?

Yeah, I want to buy a car,

a cheap car, a very cheap car.

Well, you've come

to the right place, amigo.

In fact, if you can find cars like this

any cheaper, they're probably stolen.

My name's Burt, Burt Munro

from New Zealand. Nice to meet you.

I'm Fernando from El Salvador,

nice to meet you, Mr. Munro.

- You can call me Burt.

- Alright, Mr. Burt.

So how much were you looking

to spend here Mr. Burt?

Not a lot Fernando...

I haven't got much left after

the cab ride I took yesterday.

You want US$399 for this?

It sounds a bit sick.

Well, what would you offer me?

Listen, I'll give you US$200

if you'll do me a favor.

Through in the use

of your workshop...

and some of that junk

I see lying around...

I've got to knock up

a trailer...

to drag my bike over

to Bonneville.

Thas not a favor,

US$325 is a favor.

No, US$225.

You're a tough customer, Mr. Burt,

but I like you...

I'm going to give it to you for US$250

and you can use the workshop...

but only at night

and keep the noise down.

What about tonight?

Yeah, yeah, tonighs ok.

Stop the car, les get

this thing running properly.

There that sounds better.

- Let me drive.

- Okay, come on.

She's singing

like a bird now.

Oh, she's a good old girl,

isn't she?

There we are, alright.

- You make a left here, Mr. Burt.

- Alright.

The buggers are in the wrong lane.

Stop the car, stop the car.

Turn, turn, this way.

Stop, stop the car.

Keep your shirt on.

- Scoot over, you stupid old bastard.

- Thought I was back in New Zealand...

we drive on the other side

of the road over there.

Yeah? You're going to get

us all k*lled.

Well, you're not in New Zealand,

you're in America.

- I know it.

- We drive on the right side of the road.

Burt.

Let me give you some advice.

When you're driving,

not only here in America...

but anywhere's around the world...

the driver should always

be in the centre of the road.

In the centre.

If you're not in the centre...

you're on the wrong side of the road.

Okay?

You want this right here?

Thas it.

Yeah, good.

Got it.

Is 3 am in the morning.

Yeah, time flies

when you're having fun, doesn't it?

You know, when I told you that

you could use the workshop at night...

I didn't mean all night.

My wife's gonna k*ll me.

You take yourself off home

and I'll have a snooze...

in the back of the car

and you know, mate...

I'll lock up the place

before I go to sleep.

Seems to me a whole lot of effort

to sell a lousy US$250 motorcar.

Okay, Mr. Burt, you pull the door down.

Have a good night.

Fernando.

Where do I take a leak around here?

- Leak?

- Yeah, a pee...

trouble with the old prostrate,

you know.

Yeah, go straight through those doors,

there's a door there that says Caballero...

Alright.

Well, I'll see you in the morning,

early okay?

Good night.

Where were we?

Burt?

Good morning, Mr. Burt.

- So did you get it all finished?

- Yeah.

All I need to do is find a couple

of wheels and I'll be ready to roll.

Well, you know, I have some wheels

in the back you can have...

- if you just do me a favor.

- Say the word.

Crank her now, Fernando.

Good.

- Burt?

- Yeah?

You're a god damned genius.

Thank you.

Hey listen, why you gotta go?

Why don't you stick around here a while?

I'll pay you well.

Sorry, mate, I've got to get

to Bonneville by the 23rd...

thas when speed week starts and

you know, gotta hit the road.

- Well, you've always got a job here.

- Thanks mate, I'll see ya.

- Best of luck to you.

- Ta ra.

This guy is really good.

Hello, love.

I was worried about you.

Housekeeping said you didn't

sleep in your bed all night.

Do I get a discount for that?

I doubt it.

I need you to show me on a map

how to get to Long Beach...

- so I can pick up my bike today.

- I'm finished here in 15 minutes.

I'll come with you.

Not a bad set of wheels

for 250 bucks eh?

- You sure ill make it to Utah?

- Yeah.

This old girl will get you

to New Zealand and back.

Here...

- hop in my fair, lady.

- Thank you.

The bloke who sold me this car,

he gave me a good tip...

he said always remember

that the driver, thas me...

should be on the centre

of the road.

- Look out, look out!

- Alright.

In New Zealand we always drive

on the other side of the street.

- You do?

- Yeah, sorry about that.

Do you want me to drive?

No, is alright,

I have to get used to it, haven't I?

This should be customs

right here.

Right.

- Hello.

- May I help you, sir?

Yeah, my name's Burt Munro and

I've come to pick up my motorcycle...

I came into port two days ago

from New Zealand...

and on a freighter

called Rangatira...

and I was told to come here

to clear it through customs.

- Mr. Munro.

- Yeah, Munro...

M U N R O.

- Wait here a moment, sir.

- Thank you.

Mr. Munro is here

for that damaged shipment.

- Mr. Moonro.

- Munro.

- Come with me please, to the storage area.

- Is there a problem?

Your consignment

has suffered some damage.

Oh, no.

Why the heck did I bother to paint

these arrows on the side of it then?

Thas the way it was

delivered here unfortunately.

Well, what happened to it?

My information is that

ten tons of fertilizer...

was inadvertently

loaded on top of your box...

while it was in the hold. If I was

you I'd sue the shipping company.

Sue? I haven't got time to waste

my bloomin' life suing anybody.

Get some of your blokes to pull...

this right side up so

we can get into the motorcycle...

and see what damage

has been done.

Alright, fellows,

les get it unwrapped.

The tail looks alright.

No damage so far.

Oh no damage at all.

Good.

- Lucky it was packed so well.

- Yes, is a blimmin' miracle.

Well, the old Indian lives

to fight another day.

Well, thanks a million, Tina.

I don't know what I would have done

without you today...

you're the real salt of the earth,

you know?

Are you sure you wouldn't like

to come home for dinner tonight?

- I can't, love.

- I could cook you a meal.

I've got to get this show on the road,

get out of Dodge as they say.

Okay, my good friend

from Kiwi land.

- You stay in touch, won't you?

- I will.

Here's my phone number.

- Call me and tell me how you're doing.

- I will. Can I call collect?

You can try.

- Is a good job I think you're a woman.

- I am a woman.

Yeah, right. Ta ra love, see ya.

- Morning.

- Morning.

Fill her up, would you please?

Regular or Ethol?

Who's Ethol?

Alright...

I'll take Ethol.

- Hello, young fella.

- Hello.

- Is this a rocket ship?

- What?

Is this a rocket ship?

I hope so.

Oh Gosh.

Whas happened to you?

Oh well.

Les have a look at ya.

Got ya!

Come on!

I thought we were going

to make it you and me...

and now look whas happened.

- Hello, mate.

- Got a problem?

Yeah. Am I glad to see you.

Yeah, I've lost a wheel, help me get

my rig back on the road, will you?

Okay, I'll see.

My name's Burt, Burt Munro.

Jake.

- You Indian?

- Yes.

Well, this here could be

the worls fastest Indian.

Well, at least until just now.

She's a bit heavy mind you.

So les take it easy,

one, two, three.

Right.

You live around here, Jake?

What do you want to ride

that contraption for?

Thas a good question.

Well, I guess the reward

is in the doing of it.

Jake, I'm dying for a pee.

Where do I go?

There's a little building

right there.

I've got a touch of prostrate

trouble now.

I have similar problems.

I thought you blokes would have...

some magic cures

for that sort of thing.

Well, we have.

One old remedy is ground up

dog balls...

- but I prefer prostrate trouble.

- Yeah, I bet you do, mate.

I got you!

Jake, gotta get going,

gotta hit the road.

- Burt, I have something for you.

- Whats that then?

Whats this?

- For good luck.

- Oh yeah?

I've never worn jewellery before.

Thanks, mate.

I've got something for you too,

hang on about.

Right...

lets see.

I've got this, is a spare one,

I made it myself.

- What do I do with this?

- You got a hacksaw?

Just slice the top of it,

through where the gudgeon pin goes...

and ill make a great ash tray.

Not that I approve of smoking,

mind you.

- Thank you very much.

- Thanks a lot, mate. So long.

- Sorry we couldn't fix your trailer.

- Thas alright, I'll get there somehow.

Burt?

What?

For the prostrate.

Use with water,

plenty of water.

It tastes bad. Really bad.

Dogs balls huh?

Well, thanks a lot mate.

See ya.

Hello.

Anyone home?

Hello.

Hello, there.

I've got a spot of bother

with my trailer, lost a wheel.

- You're not from around these parts.

- No, I'm from down there.

- What?

- I'm from down under...

The other side of the world,

New Zealand.

Southern most city

in the British Empire.

Called Invercargill.

One of the most beautiful

cities on Earth.

Name's Burt Munro.

Burt? Ada.

- What?

- Ada.

There she is.

We got some problems here,

yes sirree.

I tell you what you need to do.

Cannibalize the stuffed axel

out of that old Ford right there.

Lucky for you

I've got some welding gear.

- We'll get a new wheel on there pronto.

- Good.

Thas got it.

When you are...

finished there...

I've got something that

I want to show you.

Yeah, whas that?

Never you mind.

You just get that wheel on

there right.

Why'd you bring me out here?

I want to show you this.

What?

Right here.

I laid my old boy to rest

twelve years ago next week.

I sure miss him.

I sure do miss the old boy.

He did his level best.

He did.

I always figured a man's

like a blade of grass...

he grows up in the spring,

strong and healthy and green...

and then he reaches middle age

and he ripens as it were and...

in the autumn they,

like a blade of grass...

he finishes just fades away

and he never comes back.

Just like a blade of grass.

I think when you're dead,

you're dead.

I've always thought that,

since I grew up.

Is that your philosophy?

Well, I don't know,

yeah, I suppose it is...

when you get to my age these

thoughts cross your mind sometimes.

Jump!

Jump!

Sideways, you fool,

sideways!

My God, man, haven't you ever

seen a snake before?

No, we don't get snakes

in New Zealand.

Good God,

I ought to move there.

- Where's he going?

- Damn rattlers!

- Any more around here? Oh, God.

- Fancy this?

You come all this way

to bite the dust up at Boot Hill?

That would be a laugh,

wouldn't it?

Be a laugh.

There you go, there you go.

Oh, my God!

Where you gonna sleep tonight?

I don't know, I've no idea.

I don't know.

I had a strange dream

last night.

I dreamt about my late...

twin brother, Ernie.

I thought he was in the room here

looking down on us.

I guess is all

that fun and games...

at the graveyard.

I suppose.

Oh, well.

Getting old ain't for the faint

of heart I'll tell you that.

Oh, God. What have you done

to my back, Ada?

I am getting old.

Come on old girl, make me a cup of tea,

I've got to hit the road.

Ada, come on, you haven't d*ed

in our sleep, have you, old girl?

- Make me a cup of tea.

- Come here, lover boy.

I'll make it myself.

Thanks.

Now Burt, you promise me you're going

to pop in on your way back...

because I can always use

another little cuddle.

Yeah, thas what I said, Ada,

thas what I intend to do.

There's many good tune played on

an old Banjo as they say.

- And what we don't use, we lose.

- Well, thas what they say.

See ya. Ta ra, darling.

And you have good luck

with your Indian.

You should say

break a leg.

See ya.

Gidday.

Boy is it hot out there.

I bet the birds fly backwards

around here...

to keep the dust out

of their eyes.

- What can I get you?

- I'd like a cup of tea, please.

- Cup of tea?

- Yeah, best drink...

for quenching the thirst

when the weather's hot.

We haven't seen a cup of tea

in here ever.

We got Coors, we got Schlitz

or Miller or Coke and whiskey.

Well, I'll have coke then.

You know smoking's bad for you,

don't you?

- Is that so?

- Yeah.

Personally I don't smoke

and I don't drink.

I had the right education

from my dad on that one.

He was like King James the first,

great anti-smoking man.

Sounds like you're on a one

man crusade there grandpa.

Yeah, well, you're born with one

pair of lungs so why destroy...

them with that muck?

Where are you from?

Where's your home town?

- You English?

- Heavens no...

I'm no Pommie,

I'm from Invercargill in New Zealand.

- Where?

- Invercargill.

L-N-V-E-R-C-A-R-G-l-L-L.

I spell it with one L

sometimes to save ink.

- Got any of those critters over there?

- Oh yes, much bigger though...

we breed them down there

on big farms...

and we cut off their antlers and

send them over to Hong Kong and they...

grind the antlers into dust

and they eat that stuff...

must be some sort of aphrodisiac

or something.

Puts lead in your pencil.

You could do with some

of that, Leroy.

Your girlfriend?

Wife.

Oh, dear!

You alright?

Did you decide to leave Jackie

a tip after all?

Look sir, if you're not feeling well

you should drop in to the hospital...

in the next town.

Alright.

Roll down your window.

What?

Whas the problem?

You're parked illegally.

- You're a danger to the passing traffic.

- Am I?

- Les see your driver's license.

- Yeah, alright.

Here you are.

- Where are you from?

- From New Zealand.

Thas the land of the

long white cloud. Aotearoa.

Home of the kiwi bird.

Well, I don't care if you're from Mars,

you cannot stop here.

Alright.

You cannot stop on the side of this road,

you're parked illegally.

Okay, well, sorry, I was having

a bit of a heart att*ck and...

well recovering

from one anyway.

Yeah, well, next time,

how about we stop at a proper rest area.

Yeah, alright, okay.

Name's Burt Munro.

Sorry about that.

Oil's OK.

- Thank you.

- Thas alright, sir.

Excuse me.

- Hi, there.

- Hi.

Listen, I was wondering

if I could catch a ride?

My car, she just broke down and I'm

really trying to get to Salt Lake City.

I'm only going as far as Wendover,

thas where I'm stopping.

Well, anything would be

better than nothing.

- Ain't that the truth? Hop in, mate.

- Hey, thank you.

I'm going to go see

my girlfriend...

she just moved from LA

to Salt Lake, so.

I'm home on leave from 'Nam.

- What?

- Vietnam?

Oh, yeah.

Hey, what is that you've

got strapped on back there?

That, young fellow,

is an Indian.

Motorcycle.

So what are you doing

in Vietnam?

I'm involved

in operation ranch hand.

Oh, whas that?

Farming or something?

No, not exactly,

we just started this program...

we are spraying the jungle

from the air with herbicides...

so the enemy, the Vietcong,

don't have any place to hide.

Agent Orange we call this stuff,

it comes in these big old orange drums.

How is it working out?

Well, I'm home on two months leave

and I've got to get my arse back there.

We should have this w*r done in 6 months

or so, thas what they keep telling us.

Can't wait to get my arse out of there

to tell you the truth.

Yeah, I remember

the Great w*r in 1914...

I was about your age and

thas what they kept telling everyone.

Soon be over.

20 million dead and four years later

it was still going on.

Not as bad

as the big flu epidemic though.

k*lled 21 million, that did.

Maybe more.

Every day,

when I left to go to work...

my mum would spray some formalin

on my shirt...

and maybe thas why

I didn't catch it.

Or maybe I was just lucky.

You never know.

- Knock on wood.

- Yep.

You know,

life's a funny thing...

you never know

whas around the corner, do you?

Your shaving brush.

Has had is day.

It won't achieve.

The Modern way.

Burma Shave.

"She doesn't kiss ya

like she used to?

Has she seen

some smoother rooster?

Burma Shave.

These signs we dedicate...

to men...

who've had no date of late.

Burma Shave".

Yeah, thas us.

Well, you anyway.

Look at that.

Thas a cowboy and a half.

I was thinking I'd come out

to the Salt with you.

I'd like to be there

the first time you see it...

is only a couple of miles

up the road so.

Yeah, alright then,

that sounds good.

Looks like there's a lot of people

in town for speed week, huh?

Yeah, looks like it.

This is it, Burt.

We're gonna take a left right up here.

Bonneville...

I mean I can't believe it.

I mean I'm here, I've made it.

I've made it.

You know, all my life

I wanted to do something big.

Something better and bigger

than all the other jokers.

This is it, Bonneville.

This is the place

where big things happen.

Do you realize, Rusty, the fastest

man has ever gone on land is here?

Right here, where we are now.

Malcolm Campbell did it here,

with a Bluebird.

First guy to go

over 300 mile an hour...

and then later his son, Donald Campbell

was here with Proteus.

He crashed at 350 mile an hour

and lived to tell the tale.

John Cobb was here.

First guy

to go over 400 mile an hour.

All the great attempts.

George Easton with Thunderbolt and...

Mickey Thompson

with Challenger.

I'm telling you, Rusty,

this place is holy ground, mate.

Holy ground.

And I made it here.

Well, Burt.

Thanks a million.

I'll be looking for you

in the record books.

You take care out there in Vietnam,

won't you?

I'll be trying.

- Okay, mate.

- Drive safe.

- See ya

- See ya.

God.

Jesus.

- Gidday.

- Hey, there.

- Is going to be a great day.

- Yeah.

Still... no wind.

Lovely day for a run.

Sals in good shape.

Yeah. Firm and dry.

Dead flat. No soft patches.

Not like the beach.

I can do it here.

Yep.

This week.

Is what we're here for.

Wow, is that yours?

Yep.

Gosh, she's a beauty.

I bet she goes fast.

- That yours?

- Yeah, thas an old Indian.

My name's Munro, Burt Munro.

- From down under, New Zealand.

- A long way from home.

Jim Moffatt, San Jose,

California.

- Nice to meet you, Burt.

- Good to meet you, Jim.

Les get to the start line.

The race is about to start

and all the racers are excited.

This car is driven by Jim Moffatt,

San Jose, California.

The other pilots are...

- Come on, guys, 15 minutes.

- Come on.

Come on, les go.

- Morning.

- Hello, Burt Munro.

- Mike.

- Hi, Mike.

- Are you checked in?

- No, not yet.

Well, you've got to remove the shell

before we do the tech inspection.

- Where do I check in?

- Is just over there.

- Thanks, fellas.

- Okay.

I gotta see this.

Hello, I've come to check in.

Munro, Burt Munro.

Registration number?

What?

Registration number.

I don't see your number here.

No, is number 35.

Is on the side of my motorcycle

over there, thas my lucky number.

Have you registered?

No, thas what

I've come over for.

These two blokes sent me over here,

Mike and someone else.

Sir, registration closed

last month.

If you haven't registered,

I'm sorry, you just can't run.

I can't run?

Well, how was I supposed to know

I should have pre-registered?

I've come a heck of a long way

to ride my bike.

I'm not going anywhere

until I've done just that.

I've come all the way from New Zealand,

you know. Is a long way.

Look, mister,

we don't make the rules.

An event like this doesn't just happen

in one day, rules are rules.

Entries closed July 31st.

Well, crikey, I live in Invercargill,

is half way round the bloody earth.

How was I supposed to know these things?

I didn't know all this stuff.

Sir, is not our problem.

I thought I could just turn up here

and have my bike timed.

- You don't have to call me...

- Well, you thought wrong.

Jim Moffatt!

Is Burt, Burt Munro.

Can you come over here, mate?

I'll be right back.

I need a bit of help.

Hey, Burt. Whas up?

Well, I have these blokes telling

me I can't run my bike...

because I'm not pre-registered.

- You didn't register?

- No, I didn't know anything about it.

You know how it is Jim,

rules are rules.

- You should have registered months ago.

- I didn't know.

I'll have a talk with these guys later,

see if I can change their minds.

- Your bloos worth bottling.

- I don't know about that.

Look,

we can talk about this later.

Maybe you can let him go

through tech inspection.

Get that out of the way?

Just in case we can let him ride.

You're asking a lot.

Alright.

- Okay.

- Alright.

- Make me proud.

- Thanks a lot.

You give me a bit

of a fright there.

You know these don't look

like high speed tyres.

Well, they are high speed tyres.

Look at these hairline cracks,

these tyres have got to be 25 years old.

- What happened to the tread?

- What?

I said,

what happened to the tread?

Well, I cut it off,

thas what happened to the tread...

I cut it off with a carving Kn*fe...

otherwise it wouldn't be

a high speed tyre, would it?

What are you talking about?

Well, you've got to keep the weight in

otherwise when you get to a high speed...

the centrifugal force will

the tread right off, wouldn't it?

I run them on 65 pounds of air and

that tyre's safe up to 300 miles an hour.

I guarantee it. These are high

speed tyres and I made them.

Well, you're going to have

to replace them.

The suspension here is

a leaf spring...

I mean can we pass that?

Geez, last leaf spring on a motorcycle

must have been in the 1920s.

Well, it is 42 years old.

- These brakes look completely inadequate.

- Well, I'm planning on going, not stopping.

Well, the brakes were old

fashioned 40 years ago.

Is this a hinge of a gate post?

No, thas from an old kitchen door.

Let me just ask you what is this?

Is a cork, what does it look like?

Is a cork from a brandy bottle.

You know, the thing is is all about

weight. The less weight, the faster you go.

And where's your chute?

- What?

- Where's your parachute?

I'm not planning on bailing out.

No wait,

you've got to have a safety chute.

Well, I can't afford one.

These forks, if they give out we've

got ourselves some real problems.

I think I'd have a bit of

a problem that way, wouldn't I?

- Where's your fire suit?

- What?

Where's your fire suit?

Good heavens, man,

I don't intend to burst into flames.

Always wear me old suit pants

for good luck.

If they were good enough

to get married in...

they're good enough to ride

this old girl in and no...

I tuck the legs of my pants

into my socks like this...

stop them getting caught

in the chain and Bob's your uncle.

You've got your suit pants,

what are you gonna wear on top?

What?

You've got your suit pants,

what do you intend to wear on top?

Yes, a black woolen shirt, New Zealand

wool, water resistant, fire resistant...

and me bash hat.

Bash hat?

Yeah, crash helmet.

You're crazy, you've got to wear

at least a leather jacket on top.

You put the bike down on the salt,

is like coarse sand paper...

is going to rub

your head right off.

I couldn't get into the shell...

with anything bulkier than the shirt on

my back. Is a very tight fit in there.

Straight out of the ark.

- What did you say?

- Straight out of the ark.

Don't be so cheeky.

Whas your name, young man?

McFarlane. Mike McFarlane.

I knew a McFarlane, he used to sell

milking machines in Timaru.

You must be related to him

because he was a total prick.

Look here, you don't even have

a fire extinguisher installed.

Mike McFarlane used to give me milking

machine parts to make my sprockets with.

How old are you?

I don't know,

he was about 35 when I knew him.

No how old are you?

His brother owned a general store

down in a place called Bulls...

- thas a town in New Zealand.

- Sir, your machine is not safe.

I've been doing this for 43 years

and I'm still here to tell the tale.

Time's change, we started taking

airplanes instead of riding horseback.

- Horse power?

- Horse back. Horse back.

Horse back, yeah.

I got you, yeah.

You're too old.

Bollocks. I may have this saggy skin

on the outside...

but on the inside

I'm still 18 years old...

and I'll give you a run for your money,

young fella.

You need some help?

Hello.

Rollie Free, Marty Dickerson,

we're a couple of bike fans.

- Burt Munro from Kiwi land.

- Pleasure, Burt.

You got me good there.

Where are you staying?

Thas my salubrious

accommodation...

I usually sleep at night

in the back seat.

Salubrious you say Munro, huh?

We've been hearing a lot about you.

Sounds like you're cutting

your finances mighty fine.

Yeah, you could say that again.

We'll we're up at the Western Ridge,

why don't you drop by...

it looks as though you could

use a good shower...

and everybody's staying there and

I bet that there's a spare bed there too.

Thanks a lot, you yanks

are classic you know that?

You don't catch me that easily.

Hey, Burt.

Hello.

The front forks could

go at any time...

the suspension is right out

of the 1920s.

Got hairline cracks all

over his tyres...

he's got no fire extinguisher,

no safety chute.

I told you, if is a time problem, the

old guy's welcome to use some of my time.

Is not a time problem,

is a bike problem.

Well, I think we ought

to let him run.

He came all the way from

New Zealand to do this.

Jim, have you had a good look

at his machine?

All I know is the man's

the genuine article.

Yeah, but the bike is

the genuine dinosaur.

Look, we carry the cans

for the decisions around here.

And if he kills himself and there's

about a 100 to 1 that he will.

Are gonna have a hell

of a lot of trouble on our hands.

Yeah, sounds like we're a bunch

of chicken shits if you want my opinion.

His bike didn't even come close

to passing tech inspection, Jim.

Burt.

Hello, Jim. Come in.

Rollie Free said

I could find you here.

Rollie Free, he's the best,

he's a real gentleman.

He set me up in this place

for nothing.

What are you doing?

Well, the soft shoe polish

fills in the cracks makes the tyres...

Iook spick and span,

good as new.

Cheaper than new ones anyway.

I didn't see that.

Well? Can I run?

I'm sorry, Burt.

Who the heck

do they think they are?

Crikey Jim, you know, I'm not trying

to run a mile in four minutes...

all I've got to do is sit there

and open up the throttle...

I mean, after all

is my ruddy life, isn't it?

Can't you do anything?

I mean, I just want to try and get her

to go over 200 just once thas all...

once I've cracked 200

I'll be quite happy...

to piss off back home to New Zealand

and Bob's your uncle.

You're a well respected man around here,

can you talk to them?

I tried.

You've got as much chance

of writing yourself off as I have...

you know that.

Just talk to them again.

I know they'll listen to you, mate.

Okay Burt, I'll try.

See you tomorrow.

Okay.

I mean I'm half the age of some

of those characters out there.

Whas that?

Thas just indigestion.

Everyone wants us old buggers

to curl up in some quiet corner and die.

Well, Burt Munro's not ready to finish

yet, I'll tell you that, mate.

I'll give it a sh*t

but I'm not promising anything.

Thanks, mate.

Thanks a lot.

The famous Challenger One...

What is he doing?

- Didn't Jim tell him?

- He says he did.

- Well, then whas he doing here?

- Why won't you let him run?

Hey, he's too old

and his bike's too old.

He's come half way round the world

to ride that cycle.

Yeah, come on.

- Wendy, if he was to k*ll himself.

- So? Is his life.

Keep an eye out

for those officials.

You sure you want to do this?

I'm not sure is a good idea.

Hurry up. If we're going to do

this thing you've got to hurry.

Alright, les go,

here's your helmet.

Here's your goggles.

- Come on, Burt. We've got to go.

- Yeah, right.

Come on, put them on.

Go, go, come on.

Okay, les go, push.

Push, go fast.

Hey, you can't. Hey...

- you can't do that.

- Come on, come on!

Hang on!

Hey, where are you going with that?

Stop, stop, stop, stop.

What the hell are you doing, Burt?

What the hell are you doing?

Just getting her warmed up, Bob.

Didn't look like you were

getting her warmed up.

Jesus, he was going to take

the thing for a freakin' run.

Bob.

Oh, boy.

That is the most determined man

I have ever seen in my entire life.

I kind of feel sorry

for the old cooty.

Coming all this way.

Isn't there some way

we can accommodate him?

I mean there can't be

much risk there...

his bike will be

lucky if it does 70.

What do you say? What if we bend

the rules this once, huh?

Jesus!

Bob and I had a little chat...

and we're thinking we're gonna

organize a handling run for you.

- You are? What?

- A handling run.

All the officials,

we're gonna get into our vehicles and...

- You're joking, huh?

- No, I'm not.

We're going to follow

along behind you...

and we're going to see

if you're okay to ride this beast.

Of course I'm okay to ride it.

First thing tomorrow morning, alright?

Bright and early.

Well, thanks fellas.

Hey. My luck's in then.

- You alright?

- Yeah.

Don't hurt yourself.

Okay, everyone listen up.

This is what we're gonna do.

Burt, you're gonna get rolling...

ride slowly along. We'll all jump in

our vehicles, follow you down the track.

- See if you can handle this thing.

- I'll handle her alright.

Alright. Everybody got that?

Okay, everybody,

les get in the cars.

Hope that old man doesn't make

a fool of himself.

Here we go.

I'm ready, les go.

Push it!

Faster, boys.

Go, Burt!

Sixty.

Sixty-five, seventy.

That a boy, Burt.

Seventy-five.

There he goes up to eighty,

eighty, eighty five.

Ninety.

Ninety-five,

look at that thing go.

- Holy smoke.

- He's leaving them behind!

What the hell is

that old guy up to?

Nobody told him

he could give it everything.

I guess that solves the question

of whether or not he can handle it.

We were doing ninety-five

and he left us in the dust.

Look at him go!

That a boy, go, Burt.

Hold her firm.

Hold her firm.

Got it? Don't let it go.

That was a disaster!

- Hey, Burt. How'd it go.

- Not good.

So, whas the verdict?

When you opened up there in top

gear you sure left us in the dust.

I couldn't even get her out

of second gear, Earl.

The plugs were oiling up, I had to feed

her more juice up the revs a little.

Well, I guess we'll see if you're

telling us the truth, Munro.

Are you telling me I can officially run

on the track and have it timed?

Thas what I'm saying, Burt.

You'll never know what

this means to me, Otto.

25 years I've lived for this day,

25 years.

Sometimes you've got to bend the rules

a little, today's one of those days.

- Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

- Thank you.

- What did they say?

- What happened?

They said I could run.

Thas great!

- So why the long face then?

- Well, I don't know...

is just starting to sink in

and I've got a problem a big problem.

As soon as I go over a hundred and

ten it starts to wobble like heck...

a bad speed wobble.

Well, it did look like you were

about as stable as my last wife.

I've got a theory

and I think I'm right.

I need about twenty car batteries.

Twenty?

Is it ok to steel

these batteries, Burt?

We're not steeling them Marty,

we're souveniring them.

Careful of that acid there.

What do we do

with them now?

Well, we're going to talk someone

into lending us a painter's blow torch.

A painter's blow torch?

What are we going to do

with all this metal, Burt?

Well, when this cools down,

we'll have ourselves a lead brick.

- What do you do with a lead brick?

- Place it in the front of the motorcycle.

- And thas your plan?

- Yeah.

Well, you must get the center

of pressure behind the center of gravity...

and if you don't get it right

then she'll start to fish tail...

- when you get her wound up.

- What do you mean by fish tail?

Well, like a fish's behind you know.

Ill start doing that.

And thas what happened today

when I had the handling run.

And so in a panic I lifted my head up

from behind the screen...

and suddenly the bike started

to go straight and...

I knew I'd solved the problem somehow

by sticking my head up into the wind.

- I don't get it.

- Me neither.

Well, I'll show you.

Let me have that.

What are you doing?

Lmagine the cigar

is my streamliner.

Don't poke holes in the cigar.

Now if I hold it in the middle

and blow on it. Like so.

See how unstable it is?

Now if I...

- shift the...

- Not again!

Center of pressure here.

And blow on it.

See is much more stable.

Just the center of pressure

is behind the center of gravity...

and thas what I'm trying to fix

with the lead brick you see.

You're quite clever,

did you know that, Burt?

Now all I need to do is to test

my theory before I run on the salt...

and I was thinking of,

you know...

crossing over the state line

from here in Utah to Nevada...

where there's no speed limit and running

with a lead brick in the front of it.

- Good morning.

- Morning.

Do you know how fast you were

going back there?

Yeah, about...

150, 160 miles an hour.

Yeah, that sounds about right.

How's he going to talk

his way out of this one?

He sure got his arse

in a sling this time, don't he?

So whas the situation with this thing?

You don't have any license plates on it.

- Is registered in New Zealand.

- New Zealand?

Yeah, thas where I come from.

Alright, you mean to tell me...

that this contraption of yours

is registered for the road?

- Yeah, in New Zealand.

- New Zealand, right.

Well, how about taking it easy

here in Nevada?

Just because we don't have

a speed limit don't mean...

- we want people k*lling themselves.

- No, sounds fair enough to me.

- Right, you have a good day then.

- I will, thank you.

Burt, everything OK?

Well, fellows, we're going to have

to give the lead brick...

the old Spanish archer.

- Spanish archer?

- Yeah, the big elbow, you know.

The lead brick has got to go.

Who's stupid idea was that anyway?

It was yours.

Yeah. Well, I'm just going to have

to ride her, the way she is.

What about that speed wobble?

Well, I'll cross that bridge

when I get there.

- I've got another problem too.

- Yeah, what now?

Well, when I get her going...

there's an enormous amount of heat

comes off the exhaust pipe...

and I hope

it doesn't cook my leg.

Maybe you can wrap some asbestos cloth

around it, that should fix it right.

Thas a good idea.

So you got any more problems

you want to tell us about?

Yes, yes, my old ticker.

- You've got a bad heart?

- Yes, I have.

I've got a little surprise

for you.

- What?

- Close your eyes and give me your hand.

- What?

- Just close your eyes. Come on.

- What for?

- Because I said so, mister, come on.

Keep walking.

Wendy, you're not going to make

a fool of an old man I hope.

I'd never do that, Burt.

Never.

Never. Okay. Okay.

Now turn around.

Alright.

Now, hold your hands out.

Put that in your pocket.

Alright.

There we go good.

You can open them.

What are you all staring at?

- What is this?

- Burt...

we've unanimously voted you here on

the Salt planes, sportsman of the year...

because we figured nobody has

ever traveled as far as you have...

to be here for speed week...

so normally we would present

a trophy or something like that...

but considering your case

we thought a few extra dollars...

would be more appreciated

so we past the hat around.

My goodness!

There are no words.

Well, thank you all.

Thank you all very much.

I'm sorry,

I don't know what to say.

Oh dear, is quite

overwhelming you know...

is 25 years dream

to come here.

I should try

to justify you, your respect and...

you know the original speed

of my old bike was 54 miles an hour.

And today I'm hoping to,

you know, improve it a little.

The cars are at the start line now.

The next one is the 86...

On the bucket seat

the pilot is ready to be pushed out.

Next competitor is Burt Munro.

All the way from Invercargill,

New Zealand.

Burt Munro's entry

was approved just yesterday.

Burt, where'd you get this stuff?

- What?

- I say, where'd you get this stuff?

I tore an old electric blanket apart

and got the asbestos cloth out of it.

You got those heart pills?

- Are you okay?

- Better take one, yeah.

They're almost ready.

Guys, come on, les go.

You know the bottle says

that they may cause drowsiness...

- do not operate machinery.

- I know that.

Well, you're not supposed

to take two of them anyway.

One for me

and one for the old girl.

Nitroglycerine.

Should make it go faster.

Have some of this, love.

There you go.

- Yeah, we're almost there.

- Alright, here we go.

- Hold her still.

- Your goggles.

- What?

- Goggles.

- Put your goggles on.

- I know, calm down.

I can't get my leg in because

of the asbestos cloth on it.

Let me take it off.

- What about your leg in that heat?

- Screw it, I've got a spare one.

Right, Burt.

Get those goggles.

- Ready?

- Alright, you know the way.

Make sure you come back.

Come on, les go!

Right, push!

Come on, fellas. Push faster!

Keep running.

Keep it straight, buddy.

Bring it in, Burt. Come on.

Go, go, go...

Les go, Burt!

Come on, Burt!

You can do it, Burt.

He's got no parachute,

he's got no brakes.

158.647.

Mile one,

158.647 miles per hour.

Go, Burt!

- Go on!

- Go, Burt!

- Make us proud, honey!

- Burt!

167.921.

Mile two,

167.921 miles per hour.

Break it, Burt.

Come on! Go, go, go!

Come on, Burt.

Mile three,

171.371 miles per hour.

Come on, come on, come on!

Mile four,

172.485 miles per hour.

Yeah!

Come on!

Mile five,

183.694 miles per hour.

193.728.

Mile six,

193.728 miles per hour.

Come on, come on!

Come on, Burt.

You can do it!

Come on, Burt!

Mile seven,

194.211 miles per hour.

- Go, Burt!

- Burt, go!

What is it?

201.851.

Mile eight,

201.851 miles per hour.

Ladies and gentlemen,

thas a new record...

201.851 miles per hour.

Burt, I hope you're going

to stop soon.

- He's gone back!

- Back where?

Back to whatever planet he came from

because he sure ain't from this one.

I really did toast my leg.

I did it.

I did it.

Tom, can you get that,

my hands are wet.

Hello?

This is the United States calling I have

a collect call from Mr. Burt Munro...

will you accept the charge?

- Mum, is Burt calling collect.

- It is? Accept the call, accept the call!

My mum said we can accept the call.

- Go ahead, sir.

- Hello Tom, is that you?

- Yes.

- Is me, Burt.

I did it Tom,

she's the worls fastest Indian.

She is?

Dad, dad!

Dad! He did it! Burt did it!

He set a new record.

How is it going?

Hello, mate!

- Hey, Duncan.

- Congratulations, Burt.

Hello, Frank.

How are you?

- Welcome home, Burt.

- Hello, George.

My goodness, you've made

this place look spiffing, mate.

You did us proud.

- You put Invercargill on the map.

- Well, I reckon so, yeah.

- What have you got planned now?

- Right now I've a lot of work to do...

if I'm to get back to Bonneville

next year, you know.

So, more early mornings then?

Yeah, more early mornings.

Hello, love.

- Welcome home.

- Nice to be back.

- Hello, Tom.

- Hey, Burt.

How are you, son?

Good to see ya.

You're growing up a bit, huh?

I looked after your lemon tree

just like you told me.

You did, yeah.

Is doing well isn't it?

Yeah, is beautiful.

- I fed the chickens.

- You did?

- And mum cooked all the eggs.

- Oh, yeah...

- did they taste good?

- Yep.

- Yeah, good. Have you got my key?

- Here it is.

- Right thanks.

- I took good care of it.

- I knew you would.

- How fast did you go?

Mighty fast. In one of my runs

I did over 200 miles an hour.

What would happen if you opened

your mouth at that speed?

Well, you'd blow the backside

out of your pants I reckon.

Right, lets see.

Its nice to be home.

Back in my shed.
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