01x07 - The Space Rock

[bunniefuu]

[ Music ]

No, no.

Move all those things to the side.

All right, all right.

Hey, you guys.

Hey.

You are late for work.

It's not my fault.

There was a li at the corn doggery.

You got us corn dogs? Yeah, dude.

This is not corn dog time.

Okay, give me a corn dog.

So, what is all this? That is a big rock.

From outer space.

No, I mean, what's this crane for? To move the rock.

It weighs over 7,000 pounds.

Wow.

Can I borrow this crane to move my big uncle rosco? Because he's been on our couch since christmas.

Darn it.

Which one of these controls makes the-- [ crashing through floors ]

You dropped the rock.

Wow, that thing is going to fall all the way down to the man cave.

Ray.

[ Beeping ]

Hey, I can't talk.

I'm hula-sizing with laylani.

Ray.

There's a 7,000-pound space rock on its way down there.

There's a wha on its way down where? [ Screams ]

Ray? Ray? You there? What happened? I don't know.

Ray, a very heavy rock is abou to crash through your ceiling.

Yeah.

Thanks for the heads up.

It all just kind of happened.

My dad was an irresponsible scientist.

I wanted an afterschool job.

And by accident, he made me indestructible.

Ah! I went into this crazy store and me a pretty interesting guy.

I'm going to blow your mind.

Now I protec the good citizens of swellview.

Who call me he turned out to be you know the name.

Captain man.

That's right, henry.

In time, I realized tha being a superhero is a lot to handle alone.

He wanted some help.

I needed a sidekick.

I, henry hart pledge to never ever ever tell anyone that I'm captain man's secret sidekick.

It is done.

Now we blow bubbles.

And fight crime.

Feels good.

Call it.

Up the tube! Oh, my boot.

Ah! Henry! What, piper? Make jasper leave.

No.

I told him he could use my room.

But he's doing his stupid bucket podcast.

So? He's sucking up all our bandwidth.

He'll be done soon.

But I'm trying to download the new ginger fox music video and it's taking forever.

Look, I told jasper he could do his podcas from my room, and that's how it is.

Well, why can' he do his dumb podcas from his own dumb house? Because jasper's parents don't believe in the internet.

That's not my problem.

Why don't I go that's not my problem.

Why don't I go check on jasper? Why don't I go check on jasper? Yeah, why don't you? So, ron, I hear that you went to bucket-con in san diego.

That you went to bucket-con in san diego.

Yeah.

It was wild.

In san diego.

Yeah.

It was wild.

And I picked up a lo yeah.

It was wild.

And I picked up a lo of bucket knowledge there.

And I picked up a lo of bucket knowledge there.

So many great people.

Of bucket knowledge there.

So many great people.

Great, great people.

So many great people.

Great, great people.

Hey, my pal henry great, great people.

Hey, my pal henry just walked in.

Hey, my pal henry just walked in.

Maybe we'll get him just walked in.

Maybe we'll get him to come on our podcast later maybe we'll get him to come on our podcast later and talk buckets with us.

To come on our podcast later and talk buckets with us.

Or not.

And talk buckets with us.

Or not.

So, ron, I understand or not.

So, ron, I understand that you learned everything so, ron, I understand that you learned everything you know about buckets that you learned everything you know about buckets from your father.

You know about buckets from your father.

That is correct.

From your father.

That is correct.

My dad is a certified that is correct.

My dad is a certified bucket master.

My dad is a certified bucket master.

Right, and I hear he's making bucket master.

Right, and I hear he's making a documentary about-- right, and I hear he's making a documentary about-- yeah, sure.

A documentary about-- yeah, sure.

Okay.

Yeah, sure.

Okay.

Until next time, okay.

Until next time, this is jasper dunlop until next time, this is jasper dunlop sending you this is jasper dunlop sending you buckets of love.

Sending you buckets of love.

Oh my god.

Buckets of love.

Oh my god.

Hey, great show, ron.

Oh my god.

Hey, great show, ron.

Ah, dang it.

Hey, great show, ron.

Ah, dang it.

What now? Ah, dang it.

What now? For one hour they were what now? For one hour they were letting everyone download for one hour they were letting everyone download the new ginger fox video letting everyone download the new ginger fox video for free.

The new ginger fox video for free.

Now I got to pay for it.

For free.

Now I got to pay for it.

Thanks a lot, jasper.

Now I got to pay for it.

Thanks a lot, jasper.

You know, piper, thanks a lot, jasper.

You know, piper, you have an attitude problem.

You know, piper, you have an attitude problem.

[ Screaming ]

You have an attitude problem.

[ Screaming ]

No, I don't.

Come on.

Come on.

Break it up.

Your sister's nuts.

Break it up.

Your sister's nuts.

You better just go.

Your sister's nuts.

You better just go.

All right.

Come on, ron.

You better just go.

All right.

Come on, ron.

This isn't over, jasper.

All right.

Come on, ron.

This isn't over, jasper.

You're going to pay this isn't over, jasper.

You're going to pay in this life or the next.

[ Screaming ]

Calm down.

No.

Use your words.

No.

Use your words.

No.

Use your words.

No.

Use your words.

No.

Use your words.

No.

Use your words.

No.

[ Screams ]

Ray, what's wrong? Shh.

Shh.

Shh.

Shh.

How come you guys are-- shh.

How come you guys are-- shh.

How come you guys are-- shh.

Why are you shushing me? Shh.

Why are you shushing me? I don't know.

Why are you shushing me? I don't know.

They started it.

I don't know.

They started it.

Will you two be quiet? They started it.

Will you two be quiet? We have a situation.

Will you two be quiet? We have a situation.

What's going on? Okay, you're going to have to use your words.

Look at the space rock.

To have to use your words.

Look at the space rock.

What the jack happened? Look at the space rock.

What the jack happened? It hatched.

What the jack happened? It hatched.

What do you mean it hatched? It hatched.

What do you mean it hatched? It's a rock.

What do you mean it hatched? It's a rock.

Rocks don't hatch.

It's a rock.

Rocks don't hatch.

Do rocks hatch rocks don't hatch.

Do rocks hatch no.

Eggs hatch.

Do rocks hatch no.

Eggs hatch.

So no.

Eggs hatch.

So the space rock so the space rock was really a space egg? The space rock was really a space egg? Yeah.

Was really a space egg? Yeah.

And last night it hatched yeah.

And last night it hatched and some thing and last night it hatched and some thing crawled out of it.

And some thing crawled out of it.

Well, where'd it go? Crawled out of it.

Well, where'd it go? We don't know.

Well, where'd it go? We don't know.

But it lef we don't know.

But it lef that purple slime trail.

But it lef that purple slime trail.

So, you're saying tha that purple slime trail.

So, you're saying tha some creature from outer space so, you're saying tha some creature from outer space crawled out of that egg rock some creature from outer space crawled out of that egg rock and now it's somewhere crawled out of that egg rock and now it's somewhere around here, and now it's somewhere around here, but you don't know where it is? Around here, but you don't know where it is? That's right.

But you don't know where it is? That's right.

Okay then.

Up the tube.

So, she's gone.

[ Squeaking ]

I hear it.

[ Squeaking ]

I hear it.

Gooch, turn off I hear it.

Gooch, turn off all non-essential equipment.

Gooch, turn off all non-essential equipment.

Right.

Oh my god, something's squeezing me.

And henry is gone.

Something's squeezing me.

And henry is gone.

I'm right here.

All right, this is stupid.

We don't need to be afraid.

Easy for you to say.

We don't need to be afraid.

Easy for you to say.

Yeah, you're indestructible.

Easy for you to say.

Yeah, you're indestructible.

No creature yeah, you're indestructible.

No creature is going to hurt you.

No creature is going to hurt you.

Oh yeah? Is going to hurt you.

Oh yeah? What if it crawls up my leg? Oh yeah? What if it crawls up my leg? I don't need some alien thing what if it crawls up my leg? I don't need some alien thing all up in there.

I don't need some alien thing all up in there.

So, what do we do? All up in there.

So, what do we do? I think if we jus so, what do we do? I think if we jus calmly search the man cave-- I think if we jus calmly search the man cave-- [ squeaking ]

Calmly search the man cave-- [ squeaking ]

[ Screaming ]

Up the tube.

Yeah.

Yeah, she's here at my house.

Gooch wants to know yeah, she's here at my house.

Gooch wants to know why you're not at work.

Gooch wants to know why you're not at work.

I'm not going back there why you're not at work.

I'm not going back there until somebody I'm not going back there until somebody catches that creature until somebody catches that creature and gets rid of it.

Catches that creature and gets rid of it.

Don't you want to see it? And gets rid of it.

Don't you want to see it? Yeah, I want to see it.

Don't you want to see it? Yeah, I want to see it.

I want to see it dead.

Yeah, I want to see it.

I want to see it dead.

She says I want to see it dead.

She says she's not coming back to work she says she's not coming back to work until we catch the she's not coming back to work until we catch the you know what.

Until we catch the you know what.

Yeah.

You know what.

Yeah.

Women do be crazy.

Yeah.

Women do be crazy.

I heard that.

Women do be crazy.

I heard that.

Hey, I left my backpack I heard that.

Hey, I left my backpack down in the hey, I left my backpack down in the oh, you did? Down in the oh, you did? Hey, piper.

Oh, you did? Hey, piper.

What? Hey, piper.

What? A guy I work with what? A guy I work with says he dropped a guy I work with says he dropped my backpack off here.

Says he dropped my backpack off here.

Yeah.

Mom has it.

My backpack off here.

Yeah.

Mom has it.

Stop bothering me.

Yeah.

Mom has it.

Stop bothering me.

Yeah, I got it, thanks.

Stop bothering me.

Yeah, I got it, thanks.

Okay, later.

Yeah, I got it, thanks.

Okay, later.

So, did you-- okay, later.

So, did you-- did you find ou so, did you-- did you find ou anything about the space rock did you find ou anything about the space rock or egg or whatever? Anything about the space rock or egg or whatever? Yeah, and I'm worried.

Or egg or whatever? Yeah, and I'm worried.

About? Yeah, and I'm worried.

About? What if that was jus about? What if that was jus the first alien space rock egg? What if that was jus the first alien space rock egg? What if more come the first alien space rock egg? What if more come and then the aliens what if more come and then the aliens take over the earth and then the aliens take over the earth and use us humans as food? Take over the earth and use us humans as food? That will never happen.

And use us humans as food? That will never happen.

Why not? That will never happen.

Why not? Because if they're aliens why not? Because if they're aliens who traveled here, because if they're aliens who traveled here, that means they'd have who traveled here, that means they'd have to be highly intelligent.

That means they'd have to be highly intelligent.

And highly intelligent creatures to be highly intelligent.

And highly intelligent creatures wouldn't ea and highly intelligent creatures wouldn't ea other living creatures.

Wouldn't they? Oh my god.

Oh yeah, oh yeah.

I am the golden boy.

Showtime.

What are you all pumped up about? Yeah, jasper, what's up? All pumped up about? Yeah, jasper, what's up? You guys know yeah, jasper, what's up? You guys know my latest bucket podcast? You guys know my latest bucket podcast? Yeah? My latest bucket podcast? Yeah? 100,007 Downloads.

Yeah? 100,007 Downloads.

What? 100,007 Downloads.

What? No.

What? No.

That many people no.

That many people downloaded your new podcast? That many people downloaded your new podcast? Yes, sir.

Downloaded your new podcast? Yes, sir.

And what's the mos yes, sir.

And what's the mos you've ever got before? And what's the mos you've ever got before? Seven.

You've ever got before? Seven.

Wow, that's really great.

Seven.

Wow, that's really great.

I bet this success wow, that's really great.

I bet this success makes you feel so much better I bet this success makes you feel so much better about yourself as a person.

Makes you feel so much better about yourself as a person.

It does.

About yourself as a person.

It does.

Later, I'm going to go it does.

Later, I'm going to go to my grandma's house later, I'm going to go to my grandma's house and I'm going to say, to my grandma's house and I'm going to say, "hey grandma, and I'm going to say, "hey grandma, who's useless now?" "Hey grandma, who's useless now?" Good for you, jasp.

Who's useless now?" Good for you, jasp.

Thanks.

Good for you, jasp.

Thanks.

Hey, can I go up to your room thanks.

Hey, can I go up to your room and record a special hey, can I go up to your room and record a special thank you message for my fans? And record a special thank you message for my fans? Sure.

Thank you message for my fans? Sure.

Thanks.

Sure.

Thanks.

Way to go, jasper.

Thanks.

Way to go, jasper.

You're a rock star.

Way to go, jasper.

You're a rock star.

That's how I feel.

You're a rock star.

That's how I feel.

Ha! That's how I feel.

Ha! She did something.

Ha! She did something.

Piper she did something.

Piper yeah? Piper yeah? What did you do? Yeah? What did you do? Okay.

Okay.

What did you do? Okay.

Okay.

I went on a website okay.

Okay.

I went on a website and for 10 bucks, I went on a website and for 10 bucks, I bought jasper and for 10 bucks, I bought jasper 100,000 fake downloads.

Well, why would you do that? To get him all happy and excited to get him all happy and excited so later I can crush him.

All happy and excited so later I can crush him.

Okay, that's a really so later I can crush him.

Okay, that's a really mean thing to-- okay, that's a really mean thing to-- [ screaming ]

Mean thing to-- [ screaming ]

Mom? [ Screaming ]

Mom? Where's the bug spray? Mom? Where's the bug spray? I need the bug spray where's the bug spray? I need the bug spray and a baseball bat.

I need the bug spray and a baseball bat.

Mom.

Mom.

And a baseball bat.

Mom.

Mom.

Mom, what's wrong? Mom.

Mom.

Mom, what's wrong? I mom, what's wrong? I I was down in the basemen I I was down in the basemen washing your backpack I was down in the basemen washing your backpack because it was washing your backpack because it was all sticky inside.

Because it was all sticky inside.

Oh, hi, charlot all sticky inside.

Oh, hi, charlot and there was this bug oh, hi, charlot and there was this bug or maybe it was a rat, and there was this bug or maybe it was a rat, whatever it was, or maybe it was a rat, whatever it was, it jumped on me whatever it was, it jumped on me and landed on my shoulder.

Uh-oh.

Wha I got to go next door wha I got to go next door and borrow some bug spray I got to go next door and borrow some bug spray and maybe a shotgun.

My backpack.

The creature must've crawled in my backpack at work.

The creature must've crawled in my backpack at work.

And now it's here.

In my backpack at work.

And now it's here.

What are you guys and now it's here.

What are you guys talking about? What are you guys talking about? Nothing.

Talking about? Nothing.

You're nothing.

Nothing.

You're nothing.

We got to find that creature.

You're nothing.

We got to find that creature.

Come down we got to find that creature.

Come down to the basement with me.

Come down to the basement with me.

I got a better idea.

To the basement with me.

I got a better idea.

What? So she's gone.

Oh, honey, would you get down from there? I'll come down get down from there? I'll come down after you show me I'll come down after you show me its dead lifeless body.

After you show me its dead lifeless body.

Why are you so scared its dead lifeless body.

Why are you so scared of a bug? Why are you so scared of a bug? It's not just a bug.

Of a bug? It's not just a bug.

It's a huge icky creature thing.

It's not just a bug.

It's a huge icky creature thing.

Ladies be crazy.

It's a huge icky creature thing.

Ladies be crazy.

Sometimes ladies ladies be crazy.

Sometimes ladies be making sense.

Sometimes ladies be making sense.

Just go k*ll it.

Be making sense.

Just go k*ll it.

All right, I'm going.

Just go k*ll it.

All right, I'm going.

Two x chromosomes.

Ray.

Ray.

Hey, henry, I can't talk.

Gooch and I are still looking hey, henry, I can't talk.

Gooch and I are still looking for the creature.

Gooch and I are still looking for the creature.

Yeah, I don't thi for the creature.

Yeah, I don't thi you're going to find it.

Yeah, I don't thi you're going to find it.

Why not? You're going to find it.

Why not? Because it's in my house.

Why not? Because it's in my house.

What? Because it's in my house.

What? Gooch dropp what? Gooch dropp my backpack off here gooch dropp my backpack off here and I guess it was inside.

My backpack off here and I guess it was inside.

Did you see the creature? And I guess it was inside.

Did you see the creature? No, but it jumped on my mom.

Did you see the creature? No, but it jumped on my mom.

Oh, man, is your mom okay? No, but it jumped on my mom.

Oh, man, is your mom okay? Yeah, she's all right.

Oh, man, is your mom okay? Yeah, she's all right.

Because she is yeah, she's all right.

Because she is one fine looking lady.

Because she is one fine looking lady.

Ray, will you just-- one fine looking lady.

Ray, will you just-- [ screaming ]

Ray, will you just-- [ screaming ]

What? What happened? [ Screaming ]

What? What happened? Did you see the bug? What? What happened? Did you see the bug? Yep.

Did you see the bug? Yep.

Well, did you k*ll it? Yep.

Well, did you k*ll it? Nope.

Well, did you k*ll it? Nope.

You better get over here.

Okay, to all my listeners out there who've already tuned in, my next official out there who've already tuned in, my next official "just bucket" live podcas tuned in, my next official "just bucket" live podcas will begin in seven minutes.

"Just bucket" live podcas will begin in seven minutes.

Yes.

Will begin in seven minutes.

Yes.

Start podding already.

Yes.

Start podding already.

[ Door knocking ]

Hey, jasper.

Sorry, piper, you can't bring me down today.

Sorry, piper, you can't bring me down today.

You know why? You can't bring me down today.

You know why? 100,007 Downloads.

You know why? 100,007 Downloads.

I don't wan 100,007 downloads.

I don't wan to bring you down.

I don't wan to bring you down.

I just want to know to bring you down.

I just want to know if I can maybe I just want to know if I can maybe be a guest on your podcast.

If I can maybe be a guest on your podcast.

Why? Be a guest on your podcast.

Why? You're not a bucket lover.

Why? You're not a bucket lover.

You're a bucket hater.

You're not a bucket lover.

You're a bucket hater.

No, no, no.

You're a bucket hater.

No, no, no.

You got me all wrong, friend.

No, no, no.

You got me all wrong, friend.

I'm not a bucket hater.

You got me all wrong, friend.

I'm not a bucket hater.

I'm bucket curious.

I'm not a bucket hater.

I'm bucket curious.

You are? I'm bucket curious.

You are? Yeah.

You are? Yeah.

And maybe if I learn more yeah.

And maybe if I learn more about them, one day I could be and maybe if I learn more about them, one day I could be a bucketeer like you about them, one day I could be a bucketeer like you and all your fans.

A bucketeer like you and all your fans.

Okay.

Sure.

And all your fans.

Okay.

Sure.

You can be a gues okay.

Sure.

You can be a gues on my podcast.

You can be a gues on my podcast.

Great.

Where's the exterminator? I don't know.

Henry, just go down I don't know.

Henry, just go down to the basemen henry, just go down to the basemen and k*ll that thing.

To the basemen and k*ll that thing.

Oh, you're going and k*ll that thing.

Oh, you're going to send me down there? Oh, you're going to send me down there? Are you crazy? To send me down there? Are you crazy? We are not sending our son are you crazy? We are not sending our son to do battle with some we are not sending our son to do battle with some dangerous freaky rat bug.

To do battle with some dangerous freaky rat bug.

You're right.

Dangerous freaky rat bug.

You're right.

Piper! You're right.

Piper! Mommy and daddy piper! Mommy and daddy have something for you to do! Mommy and daddy have something for you to do! [ Doorbell rings ]

Have something for you to do! [ Doorbell rings ]

I got it.

Hi.

Hey, what are you-- just play along.

Hey, what are you-- just play along.

Hello, citizens of swellview.

Just play along.

Hello, citizens of swellview.

Oh my god, it's captain man.

Hello, citizens of swellview.

Oh my god, it's captain man.

In our house.

Oh my god, it's captain man.

In our house.

What are you doing here? In our house.

What are you doing here? Well, sometimes I go around what are you doing here? Well, sometimes I go around to various neighborhoods well, sometimes I go around to various neighborhoods in swellview taking surveys.

To various neighborhoods in swellview taking surveys.

Surveys? In swellview taking surveys.

Surveys? Oh yeah, I heard about tha surveys? Oh yeah, I heard about tha on the news.

Oh yeah, I heard about tha on the news.

You guys mind on the news.

You guys mind taking a survey? You guys mind taking a survey? Not at all.

Taking a survey? Not at all.

Go ahead.

Not at all.

Go ahead.

Great.

Go ahead.

Great.

Question one, great.

Question one, how ofte question one, how ofte do you participate in surveys? How ofte do you participate in surveys? "A," often, do you participate in surveys? "A," often, b, rarely, "a," often, b, rarely, or c, this is my first survey.

B, rarely, or c, this is my first survey.

I think or c, this is my first survey.

I think this is our first survey.

I think this is our first survey.

I think it is.

This is our first survey.

I think it is.

Captain man I think it is.

Captain man yes, boy? Captain man yes, boy? Since you just happen yes, boy? Since you just happen to be here, since you just happen to be here, maybe you can help us ou to be here, maybe you can help us ou with a problem? Maybe you can help us ou with a problem? Problem? With a problem? Problem? Yeah.

Problem? Yeah.

We got a big scary bug yeah.

We got a big scary bug down in our basement.

We got a big scary bug down in our basement.

A scary bug, huh? Down in our basement.

A scary bug, huh? Well, what do you say a scary bug, huh? Well, what do you say I take this well, what do you say I take this down to your basemen I take this down to your basemen and teach that bug some manners? Down to your basemen and teach that bug some manners? That sound good to you, and teach that bug some manners? That sound good to you, pretty lady? That sound good to you, pretty lady? It does.

Pretty lady? It does.

Yeah, it does.

So, good luck, captain man.

Right.

I hope he kills the bug.

Yeah.

Then we can finish that survey.

Yeah.

Then we can finish that survey.

Right.

Then we can finish that survey.

Right.

Eat laser, slime beast.

Right.

Eat laser, slime beast.

You picked the wrong plane eat laser, slime beast.

You picked the wrong plane to hatch on.

You picked the wrong plane to hatch on.

I got you.

To hatch on.

I got you.

Oh my god, you're not dead.

No, nobody there.

You know, I really think my podcas you know, I really think my podcas is helping spread excitemen I really think my podcas is helping spread excitemen about bucketeering.

Is helping spread excitemen about bucketeering.

Amen, brother.

Pod on.

About bucketeering.

Amen, brother.

Pod on.

[ Crashing ]

Amen, brother.

Pod on.

[ Crashing ]

I'm not sur [ crashing ]

I'm not sur what all that noise is.

I'm not sur what all that noise is.

[ Screaming ]

What all that noise is.

[ Screaming ]

But right now [ screaming ]

But right now I would like to introduce you but right now I would like to introduce you to a special guest.

I would like to introduce you to a special guest.

So, please put your buckets to a special guest.

So, please put your buckets together for piper hart.

So, please put your buckets together for piper hart.

[ Applause ]

It's so great to be here, jasper.

We're live, right? Jasper.

We're live, right? Oh yeah.

We're live, right? Oh yeah.

We're live on the web.

Oh yeah.

We're live on the web.

Even my grandma is listening.

We're live on the web.

Even my grandma is listening.

Nice.

Even my grandma is listening.

Nice.

So, I hear your last podcas nice.

So, I hear your last podcas got how many downloads? So, I hear your last podcas got how many downloads? 100,007.

Got how many downloads? 100,007.

So far.

100,007.

So far.

Wow, impressive.

So far.

Wow, impressive.

Isn't it? Wow, impressive.

Isn't it? It would be except tha isn't it? It would be except tha 100,000 of those downloads it would be except tha 100,000 of those downloads are fake.

100,000 Of those downloads are fake.

Say what? Are fake.

Say what? Yeah.

Say what? Yeah.

I went online and bought you yeah.

I went online and bought you 100,000 fake downloads.

I went online and bought you 100,000 fake downloads.

[ Gasps ]

100,000 Fake downloads.

[ Gasps ]

Why? [ Gasps ]

Why? So you'd think your podca why? So you'd think your podca was really popular, so you'd think your podca was really popular, which it's not.

[ Panting ]

Hey.

Hi.

What happened? Hi.

What happened? Did you k*ll what happened? Did you k*ll the creature thing? Did you k*ll the creature thing? Almost.

The creature thing? Almost.

Did you guys almost.

Did you guys see it crawl up here? Did you guys see it crawl up here? Up here? See it crawl up here? Up here? What? Up here? What? You lost it? What? You lost it? No, no.

You lost it? No, no.

But it crawled into no, no.

But it crawled into your air conditioning vent.

But it crawled into your air conditioning vent.

I think it might be your air conditioning vent.

I think it might be headed up to the roof.

I think it might be headed up to the roof.

You people wait here.

Captain man? Yes? After you k*ll the thing, yes? After you k*ll the thing, are we going after you k*ll the thing, are we going to finish the survey? Are we going to finish the survey? Oh yeah.

Will you go k*ll it? Right.

So you paid money right.

So you paid money just to make me feel so you paid money just to make me feel all happy and excited just to make me feel all happy and excited for nothing? All happy and excited for nothing? No.

For nothing? No.

I paid money to make you feel no.

I paid money to make you feel all happy and excited I paid money to make you feel all happy and excited so that then I could make you all happy and excited so that then I could make you feel all sad and depressed.

So that then I could make you feel all sad and depressed.

Update, it worked.

Feel all sad and depressed.

Update, it worked.

But why would you do that? Update, it worked.

But why would you do that? Because when you did but why would you do that? Because when you did your last podcast here, because when you did your last podcast here, I couldn't download your last podcast here, I couldn't download ginger fox's new video.

I couldn't download ginger fox's new video.

Well, I didn't know ginger fox's new video.

Well, I didn't know you were trying well, I didn't know you were trying to download something.

You were trying to download something.

Well, you know now, to download something.

Well, you know now, don't you? Well, you know now, don't you? But couldn't you have don't you? But couldn't you have just told me but couldn't you have just told me that you were trying-- just told me that you were trying-- captain man? That you were trying-- captain man? What the-- captain man? What the-- no time for questions.

What the-- no time for questions.

Die, alien scum! What's happening? What are you sh**ting at? An alien.

Best podcast ever.

Oh my god.

The creature.

Mom! Wait! Come back! No! Well, I may not have 100,000 downloads, but at leas 100,000 downloads, but at leas I don't have a slimey alien but at leas I don't have a slimey alien stuck to my face.

It's on my face.

It's on my face.

It's on my face.

It's on my face.

It's on my face.

It's on my face.

It's on my face.

It's on my face.

It's on my face.

It's on my face.

It's on my face.

It's on my face.

It's on my face.

It's on my face.

It's on my face.

It's on my face.

It's on my face.

Everything's under control.

It's on my face.

Everything's under control.

Little girl! Everything's under control.

Little girl! Stop running so I can little girl! Stop running so I can sh**t it off your face! He'll probably jus sh**t it off her face.

[ sh**ting ]

sh**t it off her face.

[ sh**ting ]

[ Screaming ]

I got you.

Well, the creature chewed her cheek up a little, but she's okay.

Chewed her cheek up a little, but she's okay.

I am not okay.

Oh, piper, don't be a drama queen.

Seriously.

Don't be a drama queen.

Seriously.

What about the creature? Seriously.

What about the creature? Did you k*ll it? What about the creature? Did you k*ll it? Oh, I think so.

Did you k*ll it? Oh, I think so.

I sh*t him with this thing oh, I think so.

I sh*t him with this thing nine times and it crawled I sh*t him with this thing nine times and it crawled under a bush to die.

Nine times and it crawled under a bush to die.

I don't think that creature under a bush to die.

I don't think that creature will bother anyone ever again.

[ Alien squealing ]