01x21 - Captain Jerk

[bunniefuu]

So, who likes my special pizza? I don't think sushi really works as a pizza topping.

Turn on the tv! Hurry! Turn on the tv! Where's the remote? There's the remote.

What's going on? Today, after work, I stopped off at that massage place rub me do? Yeah.

And on my way out, a news reporter asked me a question.

Oh, honey, I'm so proud of you.

I knew that one day-- ooh, shut up, it's on.

Sir, excuse me! Yes? How do you feel about swellview's ban on plastic bags? Oh.

Well, I personally believe that some u.

S.

Americans out there in swellview don't have plastic bags, and I believe that our education such as south africa and the iraq, everywhere, like, such as back to you, trent.

Such as.

That was me.

Impressive.

Yeah, nailed it, dad.

Wait, wait, wait.

Shh, shh, shh.

And on a sad note today, swellview's very own captain man went from super hero to super jerko.

What? Warning, the clip we're about to show you is disturbing.

Hi, kids.

Both: wow.

You're captain man.

That's right.

Hey, how much for a cup of lemonade? A dollar.

[ Gasps ]

[ Grunts ]

[ Screaming ]

What a jerk.

I never thought captain man would do something like that.

Neither did i.

[ Watch beeping ]

Now I have to go.

Where are you going? Such as.

Ooh, here's a good one.

Read it.

"Captain man, the only difference between you and a box of poop is the box.

" [ Screaming ]

[ Thud ]

[ Elevator dings ]

We're here! Did you guys see the news? Yeah, we saw the news.

Everyone hates me now.

Well, why did you smash those kids' lemonade stand? A dollar a cup's not that much.

I didn't smash their lemonade stand because of the price.

Then why'd you do it? Because after the little girl said, "one dollar," I noticed a spider on the lemonade stand.

A red jabber.

A red jabber? Those are deadly.

I know.

Those are deadly.

I know.

That's why I smashed I I know.

That's why I smashed I before it could hurt those kids.

That's why I smashed I before it could hurt those kids.

Oh.

Before it could hurt those kids.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Well, then I say, who cares? Oh.

Well, then I say, who cares? So what if everybody well, then I say, who cares? So what if everybody hates you now? So what if everybody hates you now? I'm a superhero.

Hates you now? I'm a superhero.

I don't want to be hated I'm a superhero.

I don't want to be hated by everybody.

I don't want to be hated by everybody.

Well, you are.

By everybody.

Well, you are.

Dah.

What am I going to do? Well, you are.

Dah.

What am I going to do? Why don't you jus dah.

What am I going to do? Why don't you jus make a video apologizing? Why don't you jus make a video apologizing? Yeah, that's good.

Make a video apologizing? Yeah, that's good.

The public loves I yeah, that's good.

The public loves I when famous people the public loves I when famous people beg for forgiveness.

When famous people beg for forgiveness.

No.

No.

Beg for forgiveness.

No.

No.

I did nothing wrong.

No.

No.

I did nothing wrong.

I don't care what people I did nothing wrong.

I don't care what people think of me.

I don't care what people think of me.

I'm captain man, and I care think of me.

I'm captain man, and I care very much what you, the people, I'm captain man, and I care very much what you, the people, think of me.

Very much what you, the people, think of me.

It all just kind of happened.

Think of me.

It all just kind of happened.

My dad was it all just kind of happened.

My dad was an irresponsible scientist.

My dad was an irresponsible scientist.

I wanted an afterschool job.

An irresponsible scientist.

I wanted an afterschool job.

And by accident, I wanted an afterschool job.

And by accident, he made me indestructible.

And by accident, he made me indestructible.

Ah! He made me indestructible.

Ah! I went into this crazy store ah! I went into this crazy store and me I went into this crazy store and me a pretty interesting guy.

And me a pretty interesting guy.

I'm going to blow your mind.

A pretty interesting guy.

I'm going to blow your mind.

Now I protec I'm going to blow your mind.

Now I protec the good citizens of swellview.

Now I protec the good citizens of swellview.

Who call me the good citizens of swellview.

Who call me he turned out to be who call me he turned out to be you know the name.

He turned out to be you know the name.

Captain man! You know the name.

Captain man! That's right, henry.

Captain man! That's right, henry.

In time, I realized tha that's right, henry.

In time, I realized tha being a superhero in time, I realized tha being a superhero is a lot to handle alone.

Being a superhero is a lot to handle alone.

He wanted some help.

Is a lot to handle alone.

He wanted some help.

I needed a sidekick.

He wanted some help.

I needed a sidekick.

I, henry hart I needed a sidekick.

I, henry hart pledge to never ever ever i, henry hart pledge to never ever ever tell anyone pledge to never ever ever tell anyone that I'm captain man's tell anyone that I'm captain man's secret sidekick.

That I'm captain man's secret sidekick.

It is done.

Secret sidekick.

It is done.

Now we blow bubbles.

It is done.

Now we blow bubbles.

And fight crime.

Now we blow bubbles.

And fight crime.

Feels good.

Call it.

Up the tube! Oh, my boot.

Ha! So, most of you have seenen on the viral video of me in which I used a mailbox to demolish a lemonade stand run by two small children.

Since then I've read many of your comments, very hurtful comments, some suggesting tha I should do things to myself, some of which are physically impossible.

But that video didn't tell the real story.

You see, I spotted a dangerous spider, and I used that mailbox to b*at the spider to death.

That's the truth.

And if any of you were upset by the video, I am truly sorry.

Huh? That was perfect.

Yeah? For sure.

[ All talking at once ]

You nailed it.

Thanks, guys.

Hey, go online and check what people are saying about me now.

Yeah.

Sure.

Well? Henry? Uh this one says, "captain man, you liar, I hate you.

" Well, that's a little negative.

Charlotte? This one says, "oh, please.

The only reason captain man apologized is to make us think he's sorry.

" Well, yeah.

Gooch, read.

"Yo, captain man, why don't you" "yo, captain man, why don't you" my religious beliefs prevent me why don't you" my religious beliefs prevent me from reading the rest out loud.

My religious beliefs prevent me from reading the rest out loud.

Schwoz? From reading the rest out loud.

Schwoz? This guy just posted schwoz? This guy just posted a picture of you, this guy just posted a picture of you, but he changed your head a picture of you, but he changed your head to something else.

But he changed your head to something else.

Changed my head? To something else.

Changed my head? What did he change it to? Changed my head? What did he change it to? Oh.

That's horrible.

What did he change it to? Oh.

That's horrible.

What is that? Oh.

That's horrible.

What is that? That's poop.

What is that? That's poop.

Oh.

That's poop.

Oh.

Ooh, I have an idea.

Oh.

Ooh, I have an idea.

Okay, what do people wan ooh, I have an idea.

Okay, what do people wan to know most about captain man? Okay, what do people wan to know most about captain man? What he wears to know most about captain man? What he wears under his man suit? What he wears under his man suit? Dude.

Under his man suit? Dude.

What? No.

Dude.

What? No.

Schwoz.

What? No.

Schwoz.

They want to know schwoz.

They want to know where I live and work.

They want to know where I live and work.

Right.

Where I live and work.

Right.

So we have a contest.

Right.

So we have a contest.

We have a contest.

So we have a contest.

We have a contest.

And the winners ge we have a contest.

And the winners ge a private tour of the man cave.

And the winners ge a private tour of the man cave.

Of the man cave.

A private tour of the man cave.

Of the man cave.

Wait, we can't reveal of the man cave.

Wait, we can't reveal the secret location wait, we can't reveal the secret location of the man cave.

The secret location of the man cave.

We don't have to.

Of the man cave.

We don't have to.

Gooch will meet the winners we don't have to.

Gooch will meet the winners somewhere else, gooch will meet the winners somewhere else, put them in sacks.

Somewhere else, put them in sacks.

And then he can put them in sacks.

And then he can bring them here and then he can bring them here and send them down the tubes.

Bring them here and send them down the tubes.

And send them and send them down the tubes.

And send them down the tubes.

And send them down the tubes.

Annoying, isn't it? Down the tubes.

Annoying, isn't it? But everybody hates me.

Annoying, isn't it? But everybody hates me.

Why is a tour of the man cave but everybody hates me.

Why is a tour of the man cave going to make people why is a tour of the man cave going to make people like me again? Going to make people like me again? Because you know like me again? Because you know how people are.

Because you know how people are.

They get mad about stuff.

How people are.

They get mad about stuff.

But as soon as you give them they get mad about stuff.

But as soon as you give them something new to talk about but as soon as you give them something new to talk about they forget they were mad something new to talk about they forget they were mad and focus on the new thing.

They forget they were mad and focus on the new thing.

Okay.

And focus on the new thing.

Okay.

But what kind of contes okay.

But what kind of contes to pick the winners? But what kind of contes to pick the winners? We put up a website to pick the winners? We put up a website so people can go online we put up a website so people can go online and try to guess so people can go online and try to guess some big number.

And try to guess some big number.

The first three people some big number.

The first three people who get it right, win.

The first three people who get it right, win.

And I know the perfect url who get it right, win.

And I know the perfect url for the website.

And I know the perfect url for the website.

Guessthatnumber.

Com.

For the website.

Guessthatnumber.

Com.

Oh, hey.

Guessthatnumber.

Com.

Oh, hey.

That's pretty clever.

Number guessing fever is taking swellview by storm as people all over town try to win a special vip tour of captain man and kid danger's secret headquarters.

So far two people have guessed the secret number, which leaves only one spot left.

Here's trent with more details.

Trent? Shh, don't bug me.

I'm trying to guess the number.

Oh.

It's my decision I'm taken too far I think of treasure I think of treasure and that's what you are you keep me guessing and that's what you are you keep me guessing I'll never let go you keep me guessing I'll never let go what is the number I'll never let go what is the number I'm dying to know what is the number I'm dying to know got to win.

I'm dying to know got to win.

Come on, brain.

Got to win.

Come on, brain.

Just give me come on, brain.

Just give me one more chance to try just give me one more chance to try cause I'm feeling so lucky one more chance to try cause I'm feeling so lucky like I don't even care cause I'm feeling so lucky like I don't even care don't need a million guesses like I don't even care don't need a million guesses got to keep guessing.

Don't need a million guesses got to keep guessing.

And you think got to keep guessing.

And you think that I can't do it and you think that I can't do it but you know that I might that I can't do it but you know that I might I'll get your number but you know that I might I'll get your number I'll get your number tonight I'll get your number I'll get your number tonight can't feel fingers.

I'll get your number tonight can't feel fingers.

Got to can't feel fingers.

Got to stay awake.

Got to stay awake.

I want to meet captain man.

Stay awake.

I want to meet captain man.

I fancy kid danger.

I want to meet captain man.

I fancy kid danger.

So then my uncle rosco I fancy kid danger.

So then my uncle rosco tells my aunt susan, so then my uncle rosco tells my aunt susan, "oh, no, baby, I didn't forget.

Tells my aunt susan, "oh, no, baby, I didn't forget.

Look, I made you "oh, no, baby, I didn't forget.

Look, I made you a swimsuit calendar.

" Look, I made you a swimsuit calendar.

" Oh, were you talking? A swimsuit calendar.

" Oh, were you talking? You didn't listen oh, were you talking? You didn't listen to one word I said.

You didn't listen to one word I said.

Well, sorry.

To one word I said.

Well, sorry.

I'm just really worried well, sorry.

I'm just really worried that jasper's going I'm just really worried that jasper's going to win the contest.

That jasper's going to win the contest.

He's not going to win the contest.

He's not going to win the contest.

He's not going to win the contest.

He's been sitting to win the contest.

He's been sitting in his basemen he's been sitting in his basemen for the last four days in his basemen for the last four days trying to guess the number.

For the last four days trying to guess the number.

Dude, everyone in swellview's trying to guess the number.

Dude, everyone in swellview's trying to guess that number.

Dude, everyone in swellview's trying to guess that number.

Yeah, but if jasper does win, trying to guess that number.

Yeah, but if jasper does win, he's going to be down yeah, but if jasper does win, he's going to be down in the man cave with me he's going to be down in the man cave with me for like an hour.

In the man cave with me for like an hour.

So? For like an hour.

So? What if he figures out that-- so? What if he figures out that-- shh.

What if he figures out that-- shh.

What if he figures ou shh.

What if he figures ou that I'm kid danger? What if he figures ou that I'm kid danger? The odds of jasper winning that I'm kid danger? The odds of jasper winning are, like, 50 million to one.

The odds of jasper winning are, like, 50 million to one.

All right.

Are, like, 50 million to one.

All right.

Yeah, let's keep up the pace.

All right.

Yeah, let's keep up the pace.

Come on, my grandma can type yeah, let's keep up the pace.

Come on, my grandma can type random numbers faster than that.

Come on, my grandma can type random numbers faster than that.

Piper, what's going on? Random numbers faster than that.

Piper, what's going on? I'm paying these kids piper, what's going on? I'm paying these kids to help me win the contes I'm paying these kids to help me win the contes so I can go to captain man to help me win the contes so I can go to captain man and kid danger's so I can go to captain man and kid danger's secret headquarters.

And kid danger's secret headquarters.

There's almost no chance secret headquarters.

There's almost no chance any of these kids are going there's almost no chance any of these kids are going to guess the right nu-- any of these kids are going to guess the right nu-- I got it! To guess the right nu-- I got it! I guessed the number! I got it! I guessed the number! I got it! I guessed the number! I got it! I guessed the number! I got it! I guessed the number! Yay.

I guessed the number! Yay.

Can I have my laptop back? Yay.

Can I have my laptop back? No! Can I have my laptop back? No! Mine now! No! Mine now! I guess you guys mine now! I guess you guys can go home now.

I guess you guys can go home now.

No, we can't.

Can go home now.

No, we can't.

Piper took our shoes.

No, we can't.

Piper took our shoes.

Well, three lucky winners will soon be vip guests in the secret headquarters of captain man and kid danger.

In the secret headquarters of captain man and kid danger.

You know, it's so grea of captain man and kid danger.

You know, it's so grea of captain man to do this.

You know, it's so grea of captain man to do this.

I wasn't done of captain man to do this.

I wasn't done reading the story.

I wasn't done reading the story.

Oh.

Sorry.

Reading the story.

Oh.

Sorry.

Are you? Oh.

Sorry.

Are you? Because you do this are you? Because you do this all the time.

Because you do this all the time.

Dah.

You hear that? All the time.

Dah.

You hear that? They love me now.

Dah.

You hear that? They love me now.

Boosh.

They love me now.

Boosh.

Yeah, they didn't even boosh.

Yeah, they didn't even mention the horrible thing yeah, they didn't even mention the horrible thing you did to those kids' mention the horrible thing you did to those kids' lemonade stand.

You did to those kids' lemonade stand.

I know.

Lemonade stand.

I know.

Hyah! I know.

Hyah! And your facepage hyah! And your facepage has 4,000 new thumbs upses.

And your facepage has 4,000 new thumbs upses.

[ Laughs ]

Has 4,000 new thumbs upses.

[ Laughs ]

This whole vip tour thing [ laughs ]

This whole vip tour thing was the perfect idea.

This whole vip tour thing was the perfect idea.

[ Elevator dings ]

Was the perfect idea.

[ Elevator dings ]

We got to cancel [ elevator dings ]

We got to cancel the vip tour thing.

We got to cancel the vip tour thing.

What? The vip tour thing.

What? One of the winners what? One of the winners is my little sister, piper.

One of the winners is my little sister, piper.

Really? Is my little sister, piper.

Really? Who's she going to bring really? Who's she going to bring as her guest? Who's she going to bring as her guest? She going to bring your mom? As her guest? She going to bring your mom? I don't know she going to bring your mom? I don't know who she's bringing.

I don't know who she's bringing.

Henry's afraid who she's bringing.

Henry's afraid that piper's going henry's afraid that piper's going to recognize him.

That piper's going to recognize him.

Oh, no, she won't.

To recognize him.

Oh, no, she won't.

You're going to be oh, no, she won't.

You're going to be in your kid danger sui you're going to be in your kid danger sui and mask.

In your kid danger sui and mask.

Well, yeah, and mask.

Well, yeah, but she's going to be down here well, yeah, but she's going to be down here with us for, like, an hour.

But she's going to be down here with us for, like, an hour.

All right, with us for, like, an hour.

All right, calm down your pants.

All right, calm down your pants.

Schwoz can disguise your face.

Calm down your pants.

Schwoz can disguise your face.

Really? Schwoz can disguise your face.

Really? Yeah, I give you really? Yeah, I give you good face disguise.

Yeah, I give you good face disguise.

What about my voice? Good face disguise.

What about my voice? Can you disguise what about my voice? Can you disguise his voice, too? Can you disguise his voice, too? Easy.

His voice, too? Easy.

Look.

Easy.

Look.

[ Clears throat ]

Look.

[ Clears throat ]

[ Kid voice ]

Excuse me.

[ Clears throat ]

[ Kid voice ]

Excuse me.

Henry? [ Kid voice ]

Excuse me.

Henry? Will you help me find my mommy? Henry? Will you help me find my mommy? Ooh, quit it.

Will you help me find my mommy? Ooh, quit it.

That's so creepy.

Ooh, quit it.

That's so creepy.

Will you buy me a pony? That's so creepy.

Will you buy me a pony? Aah.

Will you buy me a pony? Aah.

Stop that.

Aah.

Stop that.

Please? Stop that.

Please? No.

Please? No.

But it's my dream to see no.

But it's my dream to see captain man's headquarters.

But it's my dream to see captain man's headquarters.

Please let me be your guest.

Captain man's headquarters.

Please let me be your guest.

Will you wear please let me be your guest.

Will you wear whatever I tell you to wear? Will you wear whatever I tell you to wear? I don't know.

Whatever I tell you to wear? I don't know.

My mom usually picks my outfits.

I don't know.

My mom usually picks my outfits.

Will you wear my mom usually picks my outfits.

Will you wear whatever I tell you to wear? Will you wear whatever I tell you to wear? I whatever I tell you to wear? I you have three seconds I you have three seconds to answer.

You have three seconds to answer.

One to answer.

One wait.

One wait.

Two wait.

Two yes, I'll wear anything.

Two yes, I'll wear anything.

I'll wear anything.

Yes, I'll wear anything.

I'll wear anything.

Fine.

I'll wear anything.

Fine.

You can be my guest.

Fine.

You can be my guest.

Yes.

You can be my guest.

Yes.

All right.

Yes.

All right.

Whoo.

All right.

Whoo.

Yeah.

Whoo.

Yeah.

Oh.

Yeah.

Oh.

What's going on here? Oh.

What's going on here? I'm going to be piper's gues what's going on here? I'm going to be piper's gues when she goes to captain man's I'm going to be piper's gues when she goes to captain man's secret headquarters.

When she goes to captain man's secret headquarters.

Gyah.

Secret headquarters.

Gyah.

That's great, man.

Gyah.

That's great, man.

Gyah.

That's great, man.

Gyah.

Hey, look who's here.

Gyah.

Hey, look who's here.

Whoa.

Hey, look who's here.

Whoa.

Wow.

Whoa.

Wow.

How do I look? Wow.

How do I look? Completely unrecognizable.

How do I look? Completely unrecognizable.

Good.

Completely unrecognizable.

Good.

Wait.

Good.

Wait.

What about his voice? Wait.

What about his voice? Oh, yeah.

What about his voice? Oh, yeah.

Now, sing the little oh, yeah.

Now, sing the little pea pod song.

Now, sing the little pea pod song.

[ Low voice ]

Pea pod song.

[ Low voice ]

I'm a little pea pod [ low voice ]

I'm a little pea pod green and flat I'm a little pea pod green and flat squeeze me in the middle green and flat squeeze me in the middle and squirt out my beans squeeze me in the middle and squirt out my beans oh, man, this is crazy.

And squirt out my beans oh, man, this is crazy.

Henry, good luck.

Oh, man, this is crazy.

Henry, good luck.

Charlotte, let's go.

Henry, good luck.

Charlotte, let's go.

Okay.

Charlotte, let's go.

Okay.

Whoa.

Okay.

Whoa.

Where are you taking charlotte? Whoa.

Where are you taking charlotte? To pick up my sister where are you taking charlotte? To pick up my sister from the airport.

To pick up my sister from the airport.

Your sister from the airport.

Your sister who looks like a horse? Your sister who looks like a horse? Yeah, that one.

Who looks like a horse? Yeah, that one.

Come on.

Yeah, that one.

Come on.

It's not nice to say come on.

It's not nice to say that your own sister it's not nice to say that your own sister looks like a horse.

That your own sister looks like a horse.

Show her a pic.

Looks like a horse.

Show her a pic.

Oh.

Show her a pic.

Oh.

That is one oh.

That is one crazy looking lady.

That is one crazy looking lady.

Her name is winnie.

Crazy looking lady.

Her name is winnie.

For real? Her name is winnie.

For real? Winnie.

For real? Winnie.

[ Whinnies ]

Winnie.

[ Whinnies ]

Hey, if we ge [ whinnies ]

Hey, if we ge pulled over by a cop, hey, if we ge pulled over by a cop, switch places with me pulled over by a cop, switch places with me real quick, okay? Switch places with me real quick, okay? Why? Real quick, okay? Why? Because I'm not legally why? Because I'm not legally allowed to drive.

Because I'm not legally allowed to drive.

You don't have allowed to drive.

You don't have a driver's license? You don't have a driver's license? No, I do.

I do.

A driver's license? No, I do.

I do.

But it says I have to be no, I do.

I do.

But it says I have to be wearing my glasses but it says I have to be wearing my glasses because I can't see at night.

Wearing my glasses because I can't see at night.

You can't see? Because I can't see at night.

You can't see? No, I can see.

You can't see? No, I can see.

Like, I know we're in a car.

No, I can see.

Like, I know we're in a car.

Can you see those trash cans? Like, I know we're in a car.

Can you see those trash cans? Huh? Can you see those trash cans? Huh? I'll try to warn you sooner huh? I'll try to warn you sooner next time.

I'll try to warn you sooner next time.

Yeah, I'd appreciate it.

Next time.

Yeah, I'd appreciate it.

Hey, there.

Yeah, I'd appreciate it.

Hey, there.

We got you.

Hey, there.

We got you.

All right.

We got you.

All right.

There we go.

All right.

There we go.

One foot in front of the other.

There we go.

One foot in front of the other.

Okay, contest winners one foot in front of the other.

Okay, contest winners and guests.

Okay, contest winners and guests.

Drop your sacks.

And guests.

Drop your sacks.

Welcome to the man cave.

Drop your sacks.

Welcome to the man cave.

Wow.

Welcome to the man cave.

Wow.

I'm jasper.

Wow.

I'm jasper.

Remember me? I'm jasper.

Remember me? Yeah.

Remember me? Yeah.

Why are you wearing that? Yeah.

Why are you wearing that? Oh, she made me.

Why are you wearing that? Oh, she made me.

Nice.

Oh, she made me.

Nice.

Can you step away from me? Nice.

Can you step away from me? Oh, sure.

Can you step away from me? Oh, sure.

Of course you people oh, sure.

Of course you people all know my sidekick.

Of course you people all know my sidekick.

Kid danger.

All know my sidekick.

Kid danger.

That's right.

Kid danger.

That's right.

We're really excited that's right.

We're really excited to show you the man cave.

We're really excited to show you the man cave.

What's wrong to show you the man cave.

What's wrong with your voice? What's wrong with your voice? And your face? With your voice? And your face? He-- and your face? He-- I went through puberty.

He-- I went through puberty.

Now, you two I've met before, I went through puberty.

Now, you two I've met before, but now, you two I've met before, but what are your names? But what are your names? And you? What are your names? And you? I'm dennis.

And you? I'm dennis.

I collect celebrity socks.

I'm dennis.

I collect celebrity socks.

Where's your guest? I collect celebrity socks.

Where's your guest? I came alone.

Where's your guest? I came alone.

This sock belonged I came alone.

This sock belonged to jennifer lawrence.

This sock belonged to jennifer lawrence.

Wow.

That's cool.

To jennifer lawrence.

Wow.

That's cool.

That's really cool, man.

Wow.

That's cool.

That's really cool, man.

Not at all weird.

That's really cool, man.

Not at all weird.

So, where do you guys not at all weird.

So, where do you guys keep your weapons? So, where do you guys keep your weapons? We're going keep your weapons? We're going to show you those later.

We're going to show you those later.

Good.

To show you those later.

Good.

Hey.

Good.

Hey.

What you, what you doing there? Hey.

What you, what you doing there? Ah! What you, what you doing there? Ah! Ooh! Ah! Ooh! Guys? Ooh! Guys? We're about to start the tour.

Guys? We're about to start the tour.

This isn't part-- we're about to start the tour.

This isn't part-- okay, the rest of you, this way.

This isn't part-- okay, the rest of you, this way.

So okay, the rest of you, this way.

So how was your flight? So how was your flight? Bad.

How was your flight? Bad.

They gave me no snacks.

Bad.

They gave me no snacks.

Schwoz, you bring me a snack? They gave me no snacks.

Schwoz, you bring me a snack? Yeah, yeah.

Schwoz, you bring me a snack? Yeah, yeah.

Charlotte, there's some yeah, yeah.

Charlotte, there's some sugar cubes in that bag there.

Charlotte, there's some sugar cubes in that bag there.

Okay.

Sugar cubes in that bag there.

Okay.

Here you go.

Okay.

Here you go.

Oh.

Here you go.

Oh.

Oh, her tongue feels weird oh.

Oh, her tongue feels weird on my hand.

Oh, her tongue feels weird on my hand.

Tell me about it.

On my hand.

Tell me about it.

[ Whinny laughs ]

Tell me about it.

[ Whinny laughs ]

Okay, dennis, your turn.

[ Whinny laughs ]

Okay, dennis, your turn.

I'm okay.

Okay, dennis, your turn.

I'm okay.

Thank you.

I'm okay.

Thank you.

Now that you've all had thank you.

Now that you've all had a chance to break a chair on me, now that you've all had a chance to break a chair on me, let's go check out-- a chance to break a chair on me, let's go check out-- your weapons? Let's go check out-- your weapons? Yeah.

Our weapons.

Your weapons? Yeah.

Our weapons.

Yes.

Yeah.

Our weapons.

Yes.

Now, these are some yes.

Now, these are some of our best weapons now, these are some of our best weapons that kid danger and I use of our best weapons that kid danger and I use for crime fighting.

That kid danger and I use for crime fighting.

What's that hot dog for? For crime fighting.

What's that hot dog for? Ah.

What's that hot dog for? Ah.

It looks like a hot dog, ah.

It looks like a hot dog, doesn't it? It looks like a hot dog, doesn't it? We call this doesn't it? We call this the "covert weiner.

" We call this the "covert weiner.

" Covert weiner? The "covert weiner.

" Covert weiner? Yes.

Covert weiner? Yes.

Kid danger? Yes.

Kid danger? You see, he appears to be kid danger? You see, he appears to be a normal citizen you see, he appears to be a normal citizen just enjoying a hot dog.

A normal citizen just enjoying a hot dog.

What a tasty hot dog.

Just enjoying a hot dog.

What a tasty hot dog.

But watch this.

What a tasty hot dog.

But watch this.

Kid danger, bad guy over there! But watch this.

Kid danger, bad guy over there! Freeze, sucker! Kid danger, bad guy over there! Freeze, sucker! Whoa! Freeze, sucker! Whoa! Awesome! Whoa! Awesome! Yes! Awesome! Yes! Yes, yes! Yes, it's incredibly powerful.

Yes, it's incredibly powerful.

Any one person could use it's incredibly powerful.

Any one person could use this w*apon to defeat the entire any one person could use this w*apon to defeat the entire army of a small country.

This w*apon to defeat the entire army of a small country.

Can I see it? Army of a small country.

Can I see it? Yeah, sure.

Can I see it? Yeah, sure.

Okay, nobody move! Yeah, sure.

Okay, nobody move! He's got the weiner! Okay, nobody move! He's got the weiner! Put that hot dog down, he's got the weiner! Put that hot dog down, dennis! Put that hot dog down, dennis! No! Dennis! No! You sick loner! No! You sick loner! Don't do it! You sick loner! Don't do it! Now, anybody tries to stop me, don't do it! Now, anybody tries to stop me, this weirdly dressed kid now, anybody tries to stop me, this weirdly dressed kid gets it.

This weirdly dressed kid gets it.

All right, dennis, gets it.

All right, dennis, just relax.

All right, dennis, just relax.

Everything's fine.

Just relax.

Everything's fine.

Don't talk to me everything's fine.

Don't talk to me in a calming voice! Don't talk to me in a calming voice! Just tell me the fastest way in a calming voice! Just tell me the fastest way out of here! Just tell me the fastest way out of here! All right.

Out of here! All right.

Just step up there and a tube all right.

Just step up there and a tube will come down over you.

Just step up there and a tube will come down over you.

And then you just say will come down over you.

And then you just say "up the tube.

" And then you just say "up the tube.

" Up the tube! "Up the tube.

" Up the tube! You let him get away! Up the tube! You let him get away! Did i? You let him get away! Did i? Override.

Did i? Override.

[ Alarm beeping ]

Override.

[ Alarm beeping ]

Reverse suckage.

[ Alarm beeping ]

Reverse suckage.

Double power.

Reverse suckage.

Double power.

Oh! Double power.

Oh! Up the tube! Oh! Up the tube! No, wait! Up the tube! No, wait! Down the tube! No, wait! Down the tube! Ugh! Down the tube! Ugh! Tube up! Ugh! Tube up! Right tube down! Tube up! Right tube down! No, wait, ow! Right tube down! No, wait, ow! Get the covert weiner.

No, wait, ow! Get the covert weiner.

Yep.

Get the covert weiner.

Yep.

Nice going, kid danger.

Yep.

Nice going, kid danger.

Just doing my job, brother.

Nice going, kid danger.

Just doing my job, brother.

And now, triple sequence.

Just doing my job, brother.

And now, triple sequence.

Tube up, tube down, tube up, and now, triple sequence.

Tube up, tube down, tube up, tube down, tube up, tube down tube up, tube down, tube up, tube down, tube up, tube down go.

Tube down, tube up, tube down go.

Please turn off the--ow! Go.

Please turn off the--ow! Hey--ow! Please turn off the--ow! Hey--ow! I can't take it--ow! Hey--ow! I can't take it--ow! Hey, remember when I can't take it--ow! Hey, remember when you smashed that lemonade stand hey, remember when you smashed that lemonade stand and everybody was mad at you? You smashed that lemonade stand and everybody was mad at you? Yeah.

And everybody was mad at you? Yeah.

That seems like yeah.

That seems like a long time ago.

That seems like a long time ago.

Right? [ Oven bell ]