02x12 - Text, Lies & Video

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Henry Danger". Aired: July 26, 2014 - March 21, 2020.*
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After school, Henry becomes Kid Danger: Captain Man's superhero sidekick.
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02x12 - Text, Lies & Video

Post by bunniefuu »

[ music ]

- Okay.

I hope your daughter enjoys that guy's head.

- Oh, she is going to love this.

And, hey, if you get any more boys' heads in, please let me know.

- Sure thing.

- You think I'm weird, don't you? - I do.

Yep.

All right.

Okay.

And we are closed.

- Yeehoo.

- Okay.

You ready to sh**t the video? - No, I'm ready to sh**t nothing.

- Oh, come on, just do it.

- Hey, look what I found.

- What? - Okay, what if Ray says it's okay? - Oh, you think Ray's going to say it's okay? - Both: Let's go ask him.

Both: Jinx, you owe me a coconut.

- Okay, you know, every time I want to do something - I just want to be careful.

- You're always, like, "No, no, no, What are you talking about?" You're always like, "Meh " No, no, no.

We can't do that.

That could be dangerous.

" No, no, no.

It's just for us to see.

It's not like anyone else is going to see it.

You know I'm right.

You know I speak the truth.

[ elevator buzzes ]

[ screaming ]

[ elevator dings ]

- Whatever.

We're going to find out right now, aren't we? - It's too risky.

- You're going to be, like Both: Ooh, I'm sorry, Henry, you're right and I was wrong and you have to buy me a coconut.

Jinx, you owe me a coconut.

- What's the beef, jerkies? - Okay, get this.

Henry wants me to sh**t a video of him blowing one of his bubbles and transforming into Kid Danger so that he can watch the video and see what it looks like.

Will you tell him how insane that is? - Oh my god.

- Right? - Can we do it together? - Yeah.

- I can't believe I never thought of transforming into Captain Man on video so I can see what it looks like.

- Right? So let's do it together now.

- Are you guys crazy? You can't do this.

What if this gets out? - Why you always got to say no? - You don't want to be the party of no.

- That's not a fun party.

- Well, I'm sorry if I'm the one around here who actually thinks things through.

- Name one time that I didn't think something through.

- Okay.

How about the time there was a fly on the elevator door.

- I don't remember any fly.

[ laughing ]

[ fly buzzing ]

- Hey, has anyone seen where the fly went? - Oh, there it is, on the elevator door.

- Hang on.

I'll get him.

- [ screams ]

- Remember it cost $4,000 to repair that elevator door? - And you missed the fly.

- Ah, he got the message.

- Okay, come on, let's sh**t the video.

Here, use my phone.

- Yeah, all right.

- Hey, how's my hair? - Perfect.

- Yeah, I know.

Why do I even ask? - Hey, your sister just texted you.

- What does she want? - She says, "Text me that pic where I look great and Marla looks like a frog right now.

" - Just ignore it.

- Okay.

[ phone dings ]

Recording.

- Ready? - Yeah.

Let's get busy, yo, then watch the video.

- [ chuckles ]

- Oh, the rhymes.

- Come on, let me see it.

- No, I get to see it first.

- Hey, I'm Captain Man.

- It's my phone.

- "It's my phone.

" - Okay.

We'll watch it together.

- "Okay.

We'll watch it together.

" Oh yeah, let's do that.

- Videos.

[ text alert ]

Ugh.

Why won't Piper quit texting me about the stupid pic of her and Marla? - Just send your sister the pic she wants so she'll stop interrupting us.

- Yeah.

All right.

[ text sending ]

No.

No, no, no.

I did not just do this.

No, no, no.

- Kid, what's wrong? - Henry, what? - Was it my hair? - I I texted the video to Piper.

- Both: What? - It all just kind of happened.

- My dad was an irresponsible scientist.

- I wanted an afterschool job.

- And by accident, he made me indestructible.

Ah! - I went into this crazy store and met a pretty interesting guy.

- I'm going to blow your mind.

Now I protect the good citizens of Swellview who call me - And he turned out to be - You know the name.

- Captain Man! - That's right, Henry.

In time, I realized that being a superhero is a lot to handle alone.

- He wanted some help.

- I needed a sidekick.

- I, Henry Hart - Pledge to never ever ever tell anyone - That I'm Captain Man's secret sidekick.

- It is done.

- Now we blow bubbles.

- And fight crime.

- Feels good.

- Call it.

- Up the tube! Oh, my boot.

- Ha! - Come on, come on, come on.

Piper, answer your phone.

- What are you gonna do if she saw the video? - She'll probably show it to everybody.

- What happens if she posts it online? - How old is she? - I don't know.

I know.

I don't know.

Ten.

[ phone beeps ]

Ha, ha, ha.

- What? - Is it Piper? - No, Jasper's calling me.

- Jasper.

- Hey.

Hello? - Hey, Henry, I'm at your house and you keep-- - What are you doing at my house? - Oh, I wanted to go over our chemistry homework, so I-- - Please shut up.

- Well, you asked me.

- Ask him if he's seen Piper.

- Shh, shh, shh.

Have you seen Piper? - Yeah.

She went upstairs to take a shower.

- Oh, thank god.

- Wait, I don't understand-- - Hey, hey, hey.

Where's Piper's phone? - It's right here, charging, next to your mom's phone.

- It's there charging next to my mom's phone.

- Oh.

Your mom? - Stop that.

- Hey, it looks like you sent her a video.

- She hasn't seen it yet? No, your text came in right after she went upstairs.

- Oh, yes, yes, yes.

Yes.

Yeah.

- Okay, bye.

- Wait, no, no, no.

Do not hang up the phone.

- Okay.

- Jasper.

If you've ever been my friend, if you've ever cared about me even a little bit-- - You know I do.

- Okay.

Then bring Piper's phone to me at Junk-N-Stuff right this second no matter what.

- Okay, I'll do it.

- Hurry.

All right.

He's on his way.

- [ sighing ]

[ fly buzzing ]

- Oh man, the fly's back.

Put it down.

- Hey.

- Nothing.

- Why are you touching my phone? - I was just 'Cause - [ screams ]

Have you lost your mind? - Get off.

I have to get your phone to Henry.

Let go.

Let me go.

- No.

I'm calling the cops.

- I've got to do this.

- I mean it.

- Please get off my back.

I'm sorry! - Jasper! Give me my phone! You're going to regret this when I catch you! - Where's Jasper? - He's on his way here.

- Well, what if he watches the video? - No, he can't.

Piper's got a passcode on her phone so there's no way-- - [ panting ]

- I I brought-- Oh god.

- Speak, boy.

- Do you have Piper's phone? - Where's the phone? - It's I Here.

- Oh, he brought it.

- Oh, thank goodness.

- Oh, hallelujah.

[ screaming ]

- Okay.

Okay.

You need to calm down.

- He jacked my phone.

- I was told to.

- By who? - Look, the important thing is that we have it.

- Why is that important? Wait.

That's not my phone.

- This is my mom's phone.

- What? - What? - You grabbed the wrong phone? - You had one thing to do, kid.

One thing.

- I thought you cared about me.

- I do.

She was all over me.

I'm sorry.

- Okay.

Okay.

- Wait.

Henry.

If that's your mom's phone that means that Piper's phone is - Still at my house.

- Henry, you leave my phone alone.

- Feel how sweaty I am.

- No, thank you.

- Piper's phone.

Piper's phone.

Piper's phone.

Piper's phone.

Piper's phone.

Okay.

Got it.

Got it.

Passcode, passcode, passcode, passcode.

Her birthday.

God, what's her birthday? Winter? No.

Summer? No.

One, two, three, four.

[ phone buzzes ]

Dang it.

- Henry! - Aah! - Hey! - Oh, hey, Piper.

Whoops.

- Did you just drop my phone down the sink? - Well, yeah, but it was an accident.

[ garbage disposal whirs ]

- [ gasps ]

- Hey, that's not the light switch.

- I am going to k*ll you.

- Hey, guys.

What was that crazy loud noise I just heard? - We're not sure.

- I'm sure.

Henry just put my phone in the garbage disposal and turned it on.

- Dad, why would I intentionally put my little sister's phone in the garbage disposal and then do this? [ garbage disposal whirs ]

That's just not the type of thing I'd do intentionally, you know? - I know, son.

- You believe him? - Of course.

He's the good child.

And anyway, it doesn't even matter.

- Yeah, it doesn't even matter.

Why doesn't it even matter? - Well, your mom and I wanted to wait until your birthday next week - That's when it is.

- But happy early birthday.

- You got me the new Pear Phone.

Oh my god, I love this.

- You enjoy it, sweetie.

- I will.

- See, Piper? Everything's great.

- No, because it's been over a month since I backed up my old phone, so I lost everything since then.

- Yeah.

- You haven't lost everything from your old phone.

Remember? Your mom set your phone up so everything automatically backs up to the cloud.

- Oh yeah, the cloud.

- The cloud.

- Where are you going? - The porch.

Please don't bother me.

[ watch beeping ]

Come on, come on, come on.

- Henry, did you get your little sister's phone away from her? - Yeah, but I need to talk to Charlotte.

- Oh.

Charlotte, somebody wants you and not me.

- Hey, Henry.

- Char, listen.

If Piper lost her old phone and then she got a new phone - Yeah? - When she restores her data from the cloud, would she get everything back? - Well, yeah, if her old phone was set to back up automatically.

- I could've told you that.

- Move, Ray.

Okay, what about text messages she hasn't read yet, like pics and videos? - Oh no.

She'd get everything back.

- Dang it.

- This is bad.

This is really bad.

- Yeah, you never should've let me and Henry sh**t that video.

- I told you not to do it.

- You did not make that clear.

- Char, what do I do? - Okay.

Just wait until she finishes downloading, then you got to get that phone away from her and delete that video from her phone and from the cloud.

- Okay.

Delete the video from her phone and from the cloud, got it.

I'll just wait until she-- - Henry.

- Aah.

- Hi, Mrs.

Hendricks.

My mom's kind of busy right now, so-- - What kind of watch is that? - Just the wrist kind.

- I know, but wasn't that your friend Charlotte floating over it? - Oh.

I, you know-- Man, this is really not my day.

- Henry, what are you doing out there? - Just looking at the super moon! Wow, what a moon! It's totally super! - [ grunting from video ]

- You're insane.

Just keep digging.

- What do you think I'm doing, having a shrimp cocktail? I tell you, man, out of all the crazy things that-- - Ah, there it is.

Come on, help me get the dirt out of the way.

Dig.

Come on, man, dig.

- Good evening.

- Why are you standing there staring at me? - Oh.

I was just curious about how long it takes to set up the new Pear Phone because I might get one.

So I'm just observing the process.

- Just stay away from me and my new phone.

I don't want this one to end up in the garbage disposal.

- That was just a freak accident.

- Yeah.

Freak.

[ doorbell rings ]

- Come in! - I'd rather not.

- If that's Jasper, tell him to stay away from me and my new phone.

- Yeah, I'll get on that.

- Hey, I'm just here to return your mom's phone.

- Oh, well, why don't you just come in? - Because Piper's peeved at me for taking her phone, and I'm afraid of her.

- Ah, she's over it.

- I don't know.

She was really mad down at-- Ugh.

[ grunts ]

- Piper.

- Oh, sorry.

That was just a freak accident.

Because accidents happen, right, Henry? - Sorry, man.

- It's okay.

Just, here.

Take your mom's phone.

- Thanks.

- Oh and hey, did you know your neighbor lady's laying face down in your bushes? - Yeah, she does that.

- Will you quit looking over my shoulder? - I wasn't doing that.

- Well, why are you in the kitchen again? - 'Cause I'm gonna make soup.

- Okay, fine.

Go make some soup.

- I'm gonna.

I got a secret that I'm trying to keep If it gets out then I'm trouble deep Locked up running out of time Staying focused can't afford to lose my mind There's some things you should never see So watch your back most carefully One day I'll be in the clear Tell me how'd I ever end up here Keep it on the low, keeping out of trouble Keep it on the low, keeping out of trouble Keep it on the low, keeping out of trouble Keep it on the low And don't blow my cover, no Don't blow my cover, no - Keep it on the low - Don't blow my cover, no - Keep it on the low - Don't blow my cover, no Keep it on the low Way oh, way oh, way oh oh oh Way oh, way oh, way oh oh oh Keep it on the low, keep it undercover Keep it on the low, yeah, keep it undercover Keep it on the low, keep it undercover Keep it on the low, yeah, keep it undercover - Yes.

My new phone's ready.

Hey, Hen, when did you text me a video? I-- [ gasps ]

Henry! Henry! Ugh.

Come back here with my new phone! Henry! No.

Ugh.

Henry! - No, no.

To sound like him, you got to do it more from your throat like, "I am Schwoz.

" - I am Schwoz.

- No.

You got to put more gravel in your throat like, "I am Schwoz.

Ha, ha.

My sister, she look like a horse.

" - I am Schwoz.

Ha, ha.

My sister, she look like a horse.

- Eh, not everybody can do voices.

- I got it.

I got her new phone, but she's right behind me.

Here, delete the video of me and Ray transforming.

- Why didn't you just delete the video at your house? - I deleted it from her phone, but I don't know how to delete it from the cloud.

- Nobody knows how to delete things from the cloud.

- The cloud has a mind of its own.

- Okay.

Just give me a sec.

- Henry! - Whoa.

Here she comes.

Watch out, boy.

She'll chew you up.

- Okay.

Okay, I'll stall her.

You hide in the back until you get the video off the cloud.

- Okay.

- [ panting ]

- Hey, Piper.

- I'm going to break you in half.

[ screaming ]

- Okay.

Okay.

- This is interesting.

- Hey, here's the phone.

- Yeah, yeah.

Hi, I found this phone.

Is this yours? - Yeah it's mine, you weirdo.

Aah! Aah! - Okay, now, delete that stupid video from your phone so it can never cause another problem ever again.

- Okay, on it.

- Wait.

We haven't even gotten a chance to watch the video yet.

- Oh yeah.

We should at least watch it once before I delete it.

- Yeah, I want to see what we look like when we transform.

- Okay.

Here.

Wait.

Why are we seeing Charlotte? - Let's get busy, yo, and watch the video.

- [ chuckles ]

- Oh, the rhymes.

[ blowing bubbles ]

[ bubbles pop ]

- Charlotte You had the front-facing camera on.

- You didn't even get us on video.

- You just video'd yourself.

- So, there never even was a video of us transforming on Piper's phone.

- Yeah.

Well, I guess this whole thing was just one big old waste of time.

[ squeaks ]
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