01x08 - You Stole My Thunder, Man

[bunniefuu]

- Morning, Thunder-fam.

Hey, Billy,
I found our gloves, huh?

How about a little catch
with the old man?

- No, thanks, dad.

Last time, you kept throwing
the ball over the wall.

- So?

- The great wall of China,
dad.

- Hey, dad,
I'll play catch with you.

- Oh.

- Whoa.

Ooh.

- This is why we had Billy.

- Oh, there's my freshman
class president.

- I haven't won yet, mom.

But I will once everyone
sees this T-shirt.

- "Don't be dweebs,
vote for pheebs."

- Is that the best
you could do?

- You try rhyming
something with Phoebe.

- "Vote for Phoebe,
this shirt's a freebie."

- Dang it!

Anyway, I have made enough
for everyone.

[gasps]
And Nora gets a bow.

- My scalp is
not a bus bench.

But that is one sweet bow.

- Well, I am so excited
for you, Phoebe.

I know you've been dreaming
about this day forever.

- I know, I wanna become
the voice of my generation

and go down as
the greatest freshman president

in the history
of hiddenville high.

- And I just want you to be
the voice of stop talking.

- You know what, I don't care
as long as you help me today.

Here.

I need you and cherry

to ask me some questions after
my speech to make me look good.

- "What are
the fundamental challenges

facing students today?"

Oh, I can answer that--

staying awake
during these questions.

- You know,
when I become president,

I'll probably be so busy,

you'll barely see me
for a whole year.

- Let's go win over
some dweebs.

[upbeat music]

- ♪ What you see ♪

♪ Is not what you get ♪

♪ Living our lives
with a secret ♪

♪ We fit right in,
bet you'd never guess ♪

♪ 'cause we're living our lives
just like all the rest ♪

♪ A picture-perfect family
is what we try to be ♪

♪ Look closer,
you might see ♪

♪ The crazy things we do ♪

♪ This isn't make-believe,
it's our reality ♪

♪ Just your average family ♪

♪ Trying to be normal
and stay out of trouble ♪

♪ Living a double life ♪

- So don't vote for me

because I'm better
than the other candidates.

"but they're terrible!"

no, no, no.
let's be nice.

Vote for me
because I'm the right candidate.

[applause]
- Yay, Phoebe!

Whoo!

- Thank you, Phoebe.

Very moving,
especially the first hour.

And now it's time for students
to ask questions

while I play games
on my phone.

- Uh, how about
a question from...

You there, random schoolboy?

- Isn't that your brother?

- Do you really care?
- Nope.

- "Being a good president
means being able

"to juggle responsibilities.

What else can you juggle?"
okay, nobody wants to see that.

After sitting
through everyone's speeches,

I didn't hear any of you talk
about things that really matter.

- You mean the things
on your note card?

- No, things like why does
the lunch lady have a hairnet

when the problem
is clearly her beard?

- Can we please get back
to the real issues?

Now, who likes juggling?

- Who's got time for juggling

when the bathroom has sandpaper
instead of toilet paper?

- Yeah, he's right!

I wait till I get home.

- Yeah, and can't the janitor
wait till after school

before he mops the stairs?

- [grunts]

- Mr. Janitor,
put down that mop!

ALL: Yeah!

- These are the important
questions that need to be asked.

And it is really fun
to talk in a loud voice

and shake your fist!

ALL: Yeah!
- Right!

ALL: Yeah!

Max! Max! Max! Max! Max!
Max! Max! Max! Max! Max!

- Hey, guys,
how was fishing?

- I wasn't really into it until
dad got hooks stuck on his butt.

And I caught
a bunch of rocks.

It was easy
'cause they're dumber than fish.

- Come on, Billy.

Let's go see if those rocks
match the ones in your head.

[door closes]

- I don't get it, honey.

Billy doesn't want to play
baseball or fish with me.

It's like we don't have
our thing anymore.

- Hank, you're missing what's
right in front of your face.

I mean, look.

- I don't wanna play
with Nora.

She scares me.

- Not Nora.

He likes rocks.

- I like rocks.

Oh-ho-ho!

You're a genius.

Hey, Billy, so you're starting
a rock collection?

You know, this one is formed

through the solidification
of magma.

- Huh?

- You're losing him, Hank.

- And it's shiny when it's wet.
- [gasps]

- yay, shiny!

- Oh, you're finally home!

Do we have a class president
in the family?

- Yes, we do.
- Ah!

- Me!

- Awkward.

- Wait, Max, you're
the freshman class president?

You weren't even running.

- I know, I just said
what was on my mind,

and next thing I knew,

the students voted me
their supreme overlord.

- Class president, honey.

- Call it what you want, mom,

but it's a stepping stone
to world domination.

Muah-ha-ha,
muah-ha-ha-ha-ha!

- I want to be proud.

- Phoebe,
you're okay with this?

- Yeah, I'm fine.

Why wouldn't I be?

Max gets to live out a dream
I've had since kindergarten!

- I don't think she's fine.
- Okay.

- Well, she should be.

She got the second most votes

and gets to be
my vice president.

- Well, that's nice too.

- Yeah.
It's not all bad.

Vice president
is a very important job.

- Just keep saying it
till you believe it.

- Goal!
- Max.

- Hold on, I'm not done.

Oal!

What's up?

- Why is there a foosball table
in the student council office?

- Uh, because the pool table
wouldn't fit.

Oh, hey,
you're my vice president.

Do something about that.

- Or I could give you my ideas

that'll actually
help the school.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa,
that sounds like work.

You're gonna have to schedule an
appointment with my secretary.

- Who's dumb enough
to be your secretary?

- I can fit you in for a walk
and talk three weeks from today.

- Cherry?
You're working for Max?

- I need this for my resume.

You think I can just waltz
right into an online college?

- Oh, and, pheebs, check out
the best part of being Prez.

I have my own personal flunky.

Hey, flunky, get on in here!

- What's up, Prez?

Is this lady bothering you?

'cause I wish
she'd bother me.

- Well, I figured you'd treat
your presidency as a joke,

so I came up with some ideas
to better the school.

Here, I call it
my three-pronged approach.

- Rolling backpacks?

- Textbooks are way too heavy.
I mean, look at cherry.

- Healthy snacks
in the vending machines?

- Who needs potato chips
when you got kelp chips?

Mmm, kelpy.

- Hugs from the school mascot?

- Hugs raise school spirit.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa.

All hugs
go through me first.

It's nice, Mr. President.
Real nice.

- You know, Phoebe,
this is just what we need.

- Really?
- To get you out of here.

- You know what?

Fine, Max, your loss.

But principal Bradford's
gonna want to hear your plan,

and you've got nothing.

- Listen, you're overreacting.

I don't have to come up
with any ideas until--

- : Friday.

- Well, it's : on Tuesday.

Let's hear your ideas, Max.

- You're fired.

- Who rocks the party?

Your dad rocks the party.

- Whoa!

I've never seen anything
like that one before.

- That's because
it's from the moon.

It's a moon rock.

We should probably hide that.

- No.

No.

- Don't make eye contact.

- I'm glad you both
are having fun,

but I'm gonna need you to get
every single one of these rocks

out of my living room.

- Well, I believe
it's our living room.

- Is it, Hank?

Is it?

- No, it's yours, all yours.

- [mouthing]

- Agent flunky is leading the
golden goose to the courtyard.

Roger, Roger.

- Flunky, are you even talking
to anyone on that thing?

- Yeah, bro,
my security team.

Love you too, mom.

- Max, why have you
been avoiding me?

- Today,
or since I learned to walk?

- I'd never avoid you.

Licorice?

We can meet in the middle.

- Max, as your vp,
I need to know

how your meeting
with the principal went.

- I handled it.
Check out the new mascot.

- That extreme raptor
left me hanging.

- Because he's too busy
bringing school spirit.

Raptors!

ALL:
Raptors! Raptors! Raptors!

- And check out
everyone's heavy backpacks.

Oh, wait,
they don't have any.

- See, I convinced
the principal

to make all textbooks
available for download.

Genius?
Pretty much.

- You rock, Max.

Without my backpack,
I'm, like, inches taller.

Hello, basketball team.

[glass shatters]

Why'd I do that?

- Oh, and let me guess.

You're putting healthy snacks
in the vending machines?

- Nope, I'm replacing
the vending machines

with a smoothie machine.

There's gonna be
a big unveiling ceremony.

I can probably
get you an invite.

- School spirit, healthy foods,
backpack reform?

You stole my--
- three-pronged approach.

That's why people are gonna
remember Max Thunderman

as the greatest class president

in the history
of hiddenville high!

- That has always
been my dream, sir.

- But it's my dream!

- Oh, yeah, I forgot.

Why'd you ever give up
on that?

- , , .

Good set, bro.

- Max, how could you steal
my three-pronged approach?

I should be the one unveiling
that smoothie machine tomorrow.

- But you're
the vice president.

Which is Latin
for "not the president."

- No, it's not.

And I only know that
because I'm vice president

of the Latin club.

- Look, the principal
put me on the spot,

and I had nothing,
so I gave him your ideas.

And since you work for me,
your ideas are my ideas.

- Here's an idea.

You stink.

- He stinks of power!

[sniffs]

- Whoa!
Power needs a shower.

- Are you really gonna
let Max do that to you?

- You heard him.
The vice president has no power.

I can't do anything.

- Except become president

if something
should happen to Max.

- Please, Nora, I'm not in the
mood for one of your devious--

what did you have in mind?
- Mm.

Check out this article in
Max's latest issue of evil teen.

- "Exotic Russian plant

guarantees a week
of tummy trouble."

- Feed it to Max,
and you'll become number one,

while he's going number two.

- No, I can't.
I'm better than that.

- My boy wants you to hand-wash
his running clothes.

Be sure to hit the pits.

- What page was it?
- .

- Okay, I called Max
and told him it was pizza night.

He should be home any minute.
Start cooking.

Now all we need
is the special topping.

It's been seconds.

Why isn't Billy back from Russia
with that plant yet?

- Sorry I'm late.

I went hat shopping.

Now if you'll excuse me,

I have to go do
non-rock things.

- Hold on, Billy.

Mom told us to make sure
you're not still collecting.

Search him.

- He's clean.

- Guys, I told you.

I'm out of the rock game.

Dad,
rocks in the hole.

- Send them down quietly.

Your mom can't know
we're hiding rocks down here,

or she'll be very--
ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!

Thanks.

- [sighs]

And now
for the final ingredient.

Revenge!

Sweet revenge!

Oh, no.

I'm rubbing my hands together
maniacally.

I've turned into Max.

[sighs]
I can't do this.

- Hold up, angel.

I gotta taste all of Max's food
before he eats it.

You know,
in case it's poisoned.

Or delicious.

- No, no, flunky,
you don't wanna--

- Mmm, mmm.

Pizza's good, Max!

Oh, but my tummy's not.

- Oh, I'm starv--whoa!

[screams]

- Max!

- Bathroom!

- [groans]

- Max, I'm so sorry

for not knowing
you'd be home this early.

- Oh, my gosh, Max,
are you okay?

- It only hurts when I answer
stupid obvious questions.

- You're not gonna tell your mom
we got rocks down here, are you?

- [groans]
I'm not a rat.

- But I am.

Barb!

That's what you get for filling
my cage with rocks.

And turning me into a rabbit.

- What were you thinking putting
all those rocks in Max's lair?

- It was Billy's idea.

- Billy hasn't had an idea
in ten years,

and he's ten!

- Wait, we're supposed
to be coming up with ideas?

Why didn't anyone tell me?

- Hank, Billy, I need you
to clear out all those rocks,

so my baby
can have his bed back.

- One day, son, we're gonna
look back at all this and laugh.

But don't try now, your new
collarbone's still mending.

- Here, Max,
I got you a card.

I am so sorry
this happened to you.

- Don't be.
It's not your fault.

- [chuckles nervously]

- The only bummer is,
if I can't go to school,

I can't be president.

That, and my knee
bends the other way.

- So what does that mean?

- It means I'm gonna run funny
from now on.

Oh, oh,
and you're the new president.

So you're gonna have to do
the smoothie machine unveiling.

- I don't know, Max.
It doesn't feel right.

- Hey, you're gonna
be a great president.

Put on the sash.

- The sash of lies.

- What was that?

- Um, I said
it's just my size.

I gotta go.

- That would have been funny
if you didn't look like

a snowman
on his invisible motorcycle.

- I blame flunky.

And myself for being friends
with a guy named flunky.

- Yeah, that Russian plant
hit him quick.

- What Russian plant?

- Uh...

- [screams]

Why'd you do that?

- I'm sorry, I panicked.

- You know something.

Spill it.
- Never!

- I know
where you keep your bows.

- Not my babies!

Okay, fine.

- Is everything set up?

- We are a go for revenge.

- Good.

When madam president goes
to make the first smoothie,

it'll be anything but smooth.

- Good afternoon, students.

Before his tragic accident,
president Thunderman

had a plan to bring
healthy foods to the school.

But all improvements
come at a cost.

So we say good-bye to
the art teacher, Mr. Ferguson...

So that we may say hello
to a smoothie machine.

[cheers and applause]

- Here to pour the first drink,
the new president Thunderman.

[applause]

- Thank you, everyone.

We're all here
to welcome proper nutrition

to Hiddenville High.

Max?

- That's right, Phoebe.

Pour me a frosty glass
of payback.

- Go ahead, Phoebe.
Do it for your brother.

And for me.
I got a movie to catch.

But mainly for your brother.

- This isn't right.
I don't deserve to be here.

- There goes my movie.

- This machine
was my brother's idea.

And it's my fault
that he can't be here

to make the inaugural smoothie.

- What is she doing?

- I think she's feeling bad
for what she did.

It's kinda sweet.

Does she have a boyfriend?

- Oh, no, no, no.
She can't do this.

If she feels bad,
then I'll feel bad.

- So, Max,
this smoothie is for you.

- And now I feel bad.

Push me.

Phoebe, wait!

[crash]

- Max?

Okay, I don't know
what this is all about,

but I'm really glad
you're here.

I need to tell you something.

- It's okay,
I already know.

- I never meant
for you to get hurt.

- Well, it's not like
I didn't deserve it.

I stole your ideas.

- But you made them better.

You're actually
a great class president.

And you should be making
the first smoothie.

- [mocking]
"You're a good president."

"No, you're a good president."

"No,
you're a good president."

we're here to make smoothies!

[gurgling]

That doesn't sound
very healthy.

- That was meant for me,
wasn't it?

- Don't ruin the moment.

- I'm sorry I made you
get rid of your rock collection

that maimed our child.

- [sighs]

- But there has to be
something else you can collect.

- Like what?

- Stamps?

BOTH: No.

- Coins?

BOTH: Pfft.

- Shells?

BOTH: Do you even know us?

- Okay.

Well, what are you
gonna collect then?

Lint?

- Dryer or belly button?

- Why not both?

- You know, there's a buildup
of lint behind the dryer.

- I've got tiny hands.

- [laughs]

- Boys.

So gross.

Hey, I have tiny hands too!

- So we agree
we're not saying anything

about the smoothie malfunction.

- Right.
Twins stick together.

- Hey, kids, do you know
anything about your principal

getting blasted
across the quad?

- Every twin for themselves!

- [groans]
- Max?

- You'll never catch me.