01x20 - Breaking Dad

Episode transcripts for the TV show "The Thundermans". Aired: October 14, 2013 - May 25, 2018.*
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Series revolves around the Thundermans, a family with superpowers who try to live normal lives in the fictional town of Hiddenville.
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01x20 - Breaking Dad

Post by bunniefuu »

- Why Does Mr. Big Booty
Look So Mad?

- It's Mr. Begbouday.

He Hates It When People Call Him
"Big Booty."

[Objects Clatter]

But To Be Fair,
That Is One Big Booty.

- Who's Making A cr*ck?

Is It Someone In The Rear?

[Laughter]

Oh, Laugh While You Can,

Because I've Graded Your Exams,

And Soon You'll Be
The Butt Of The Joke.

- Max, What Is That?

- It's A Proton Particle
Power Booster.

Made It With Spare Parts
No One Was Using.

- Oh, Come On!

- This Is For
Max Thunderman Day.

- Oh, Yeah, When Is That?

On The th
Of Doesn't-Existuary?

- Snark Away, But After I Pull
The Best Prank

This School Has Ever Seen,

There'll Be A Whole Day
Named After Me.

Check It Out.

I'm Going To Clamp These Cables
To A Giant Turkey--

- Okay, For Legal Reasons,

We Should Stop Listening
To Him Now.

- Cherry, Here's Your Exam.

You Got %...

- [Happily] Oh!
- Of The Answers Wrong.

- Oh.

- Miss Thunderman, B.

- Back Up, Big Booty.

Phoebe Is The Best Student
In This Class.

She Studies Hard And Gets "A"S.

It's Her Thing.

- Cherry, Calm Down.

But She's Right;
It's My Thing.

Sir.

- Max, What Is That?

- This? Just A Simple Machine
I Made, Mr. Begbouday.

- Oh, Like The Simple
Jalapeño Toilet Paper

You Made Last Week?

I'll Lock It In The Cabinet
So No "Bouday" Gets Hurt.

- [Forced Laughing]

I Give That Joke An "A."

Speaking Of "A"S, Uh,

Shouldn't I Have Gotten One?

I Don't Think
I Got Anything Wrong.

- You Didn't,
But I Don't Give "A"S...

To Anyone, Ever.

It's My Thing.

- [Sighs]

- Phoebe, Looks Like We've Got
A Big Big Booty Problem.

- It's Begbouday!

[Glass Shatters]

Both: Is It?

[Adventure Music]

- ♪ What You See
Is Not What You Get ♪

♪ Living Our Lives
With A Secret ♪

♪ We Fit Right In,
Bet You Never Guessed ♪

♪ 'Cause We're Living Our Lives
Just Like All The Rest ♪

♪ A Picture-Perfect Family
Is What We Try To Be ♪

♪ Look Closer, You Might See
The Crazy Things We Do ♪

♪ This Isn't Make-Believe ♪

♪ It's Our Reality ♪

♪ Just Your Average Family ♪

♪ Trying To Be Normal
Instead Of Trouble ♪

♪ Living A Double Life ♪

- A Teacher
Who Doesn't Give "A"S?

That's Like A Cheeseburger
Without Cheese,

A Pizza Without Cheese,

Nachos Without Cheese.

I Need "A"S
Like Things Need Cheese.

- Is This About
Your Awful Chemistry Teacher

With The Big...

Chip On His Shoulder?

- Yes, How Am I Supposed To
Get Into Hero University

When I Have A Teacher
Who Doesn't Give "A"S?

- I Have An Idea.

Why Don't You Go To...

[Yelling]
Get Out Of The Way University?

- You Can Major In...

[Yelling]
Move!

- All Right, Hold On.

Don't Worry.

Now, If My Baby Girl Says
She Earned An "A,"

She's Gonna Get That "A."

I'm Going To Call
Principal Bradford,

I'll Arrange A Little
Parent-Teacher Conference,

And We Will Figure
This Thing Out.

- That's A Great Idea.

Nobody Gets Anything
Past Your Dad.

- Thanks, Dad.
You Are The Best.

- [Chuckles]

Hey, Who Left
The Back Door Open?

- Billy.
- Nora.

Both: Max.

- [Laughing]

I Was Watching The Whole Time,

And I Still Don't Know
How This Happened!

- [Grunting]

Come On.

- [Laughing]

- This Is For A Prank
That's Gonna Be So Big,

The School's Going To Name
An Entire Day After Me.

- Dancing Turkey Head Day?

- No, Max Thunderman Day.

You Know The Chemical In Turkeys

That You Make You Super Sleepy
After You Eat 'Em?

- Of Course.

It's One Of The Top Ten
Evil Chemicals,

Right After The Stuff
In Asparagus

That Makes Your Tinkle Smell.

- Well, When I Steal
My Machine Back,

I'm Going To Use It
To Boost That Turkey Chemical

And Make Super Sleepy Sandwiches
For All My Classmates.

- Then When They Fall Asleep,

You're Going To Draw Mustaches
On Them, Right?

- I Am Now!

What Are You Doing Here?

- Dad's Having
His Parent-Teacher Conference

With Mr. Begbouday.

[Gasps]

Oh, How Was Your Interview
At Clown College?

- This Is My Camouflage Outfit.

I've Got Get Back In There
And Get My Power Booster Back.

- [Sighs]

Good Luck, 'Cause He's Coming.

Sorry I Doubted Your Plan.

- Well, Turns Out Mr. Begbouday
Has Hit Bottom

And Is Tired
Of Turning The Other Cheek.

[Laughs]

The Point Is, He Quit.

- He Quit?
But What About My Grade?

- You're Gonna Have To Ask
Your New Chemistry Substitute.

- Will He Be Here Tomorrow?

- I Sure Will.

- Wait, Dad, You're Gonna Be
Our New Chemistry Sub?

- Why Not, Right?

He Went To College,
He's Got A License,

And He's A Scientific Genius.

What Did You Call Water Again?

- Ho.

- Stop Showing Off,
Jimmy Neutron!

Hey, Come On.
Let Me Show You Around.

Hey, You.
Show This Guy Around.

- Dad Can't Be A Sub Here.

How Am I Going To Pull Off
My Prank

With Thunderman
Roaming The Halls?

- I Think It's Great.

He'll Right Wrongs,
Stamp Out Injustice,

And Give Helpless Students
The "A"S They Deserve.

- I'm Not Giving Up Yet.

As Long As No One Can See Me,
This Isn't Over.

- Hi, Phoebs.
Hey, Max.

- I'm A Locker!

- Let's Go, You Two!

Time For School!

Don't Forget To Close That Door.

- What Is The Big Deal
About This Door?

- Yeah, What Are You Guys
So Afraid Of?

[Squirrel Chattering]
- Squirrel!

- Ah!
The Outside Is Inside!

- Relax.

If Cartoons Have Taught Us
Anything,

It's That Squirrels
Are Loveable.

- [Hisses]

- Cartoons Lie!

[All Scream]

[School Bell Rings]

- [With German Accent]
Hello, Future Scientists!

I Am Albert Einstein,

Und Velcome To Chemistry!

- What Have You Done?

- Hey, If Einstein Gets Me
Into Hero University,

Then It's All Guten Tag.

- Phoebe,
You Just Said, "Hello."

- Yeah, To An "A" In Chemistry.

What? What?

- Dad Will Not Ruin
Max Thunderman Day.

I'm Getting
My Power Booster Back.

[Dramatic Spy Music]

♪ ♪

- Und Now, Because My Mustache
Is Very Itchy,

I Present To You
Your Real Substitute Teacher

And All-Around Cool Guy,

Hank Thunderman.

[Laughs]
Thanks, Al.

Now, Class, I Know
That You've Been Studying

Chemical Reactions.

So For Today's Experiment,

I Want You To Go Out,
Find Items In The School,

Bring Them Back,

And Present Your Own
Chemical Reactions.

Now, The Grade
On This Experiment

Will Replace
Your Last Exam Grade,

So Really Challenge Yourselves.

[Indistinct Chatter]

- Psst!
Phoebe, Cover Me.

I'm Going To Melt This Lock
With My Heat Breath.

- Psst, Max!

No.

Hey, Dad, Did You Say

You're Replacing
The Exam Grades?

- Sure Did.

- Thunderman
Wiping Out Injustice.

- Yikes.
Are You Okay?

- That Was Just A Little Wink

To Let You Know
I Appreciate It.

Come On, Max. We Got To Do
Our Science Assignment.

- Uh, Just...

Getting Ready
For Baseball Practice.

- With A Sledgehammer?

- Go Big Or Go Home.

- Have You Guys Caught
The Squirrel Yet?

- Why Are You Wearing
Max's Catcher's Outfit?

- Well, We Are Trying
To Catch A Squirrel.

Plus, I Think It Looks Cute
On Me.

[Squirrel Chattering]
- Squirrel!

- Okay, All Right.

Everybody Just Stay Calm And--

[Screams]

[Glass Shatters]

- I'll Get It, Mom.

[Whooshing Noises]

And He's Safe.

- I Got This.

[Sizzling]

Well, At Least Now
The Chair Matches The Tv.

- Hey, Maybe If We Open
The Patio Doors,

He Might Run Out By Himself.

- Yeah, Yeah.

He's Called For Backup!

Save Yourselves!

[All Yelling]

- [Chuckles]

Thank You, Cliff.

Your Mint Candy-Soda Geyser
Was Messy

But Well Worth It.

You Get An "A."

And You Get Towels.

All Right, Who's Next?

Hey, Buddy.

What You Doing Down There?

- You Know, Just Helping
The Janitor

Look For His Keys.

- Oh.

- Found 'Em.

- Uh, You Can Help Me
Open Up The Lab Cabinet

And Get The Cleaning Solution.

- I Love You, Dad.

- Max.

We Are At School.

It's "I Love You,
Mr. Thunderman."

All Right.

Oh, Phoebe, You're Up.

- [Sighs]

Okay, Everyone.

My Experiment's Called--

Whoa!

Oops, I Accidentally Spilled Ink
On You.

- Oh, No, My Lab Coat.

But I Was On My Way
To A Science Party.

Now What Do I Do?

- Fix It With Chemistry.

[Applause]

That Ink Was Really
An Acid-Based Liquid

That Disappears When Mixed
With Carbon Dioxide.

Have Fun At Your Party.

- I Will...Now That I Know
All That Stuff You Said.

[Applause]

- Well, Phoebe,

It Seems
Everyone Enjoyed Your Show.

And Your Grade Is...

- Here Comes Your "A."
[Giggles]

- A "D."

[Class Gasps]

- A--A "D"?

How Could You, Dad?

- Phoebe, We're At School.

It's "How Could You,
Mr. Thunderman?"

- Hey, Phoebe.
How Was School?

- Great.
[Laughs]

I Laughed.
I Learned.

Oh, And I Got A D In Chemistry
From My Own Dad.

- Phoebe, I Told Everyone
To Challenge Themselves.

You Didn't.

You Did The Same
Disappearing Ink Bit

Back In Metroburg When You Were
In The Seventh Grade.

- And I Got An "A"!

Come On, Dad.

You Were Supposed
To Stamp Out Injustice

And Give Me The Grade I Deserve.

We Talked About This.

- Oh, I Don't Remember
Talking About That.

- Do You Remember This?

- Ugh!

No One Can Ever Forget That.
- [Sighs]

- I'm Sorry, Phoebe,
But Your Grade Stands.

- I'm So Upset, I Can't Even
Talk To You Right Now.

I'm Going To Cherry's.

- Need A Ride To Cherry's?

- So You're Not Going To
Tell Dad We Left The Door Open

And The House Is Filled
With Squirrels?

- I Don't Think I'll Have To

Now That We Took Care
Of The Damage.

It's Like The Squirrel Smackdown
Never Happened.

Max, You Want To Explain
All Those Sandwiches?

- Not Really.

Do You Want To Explain
All Those Blankets?

- Not Really.

- Then We Understand Each Other.

- Hi, Honey.

- Hey, Dad.
- What Blankets?

- So How Was Your First Day?

- Well, I'm Pretty Sure
Phoebe Hates Me--

- Fantastic!
We Should Celebrate.

Let's Go Out To Dinner.

- Squirrel!
- What?

- Oh.
Mwah!

- All Right, Let's Go Eat.

- What Were You Guys Doing
With These Blankets?

- Taking A Nap.
- Making A Fort.

- What Blankets?

- Dad, I Had A Hard Time
Sleeping Last Night,

Mostly Because I Thought
I Kept Seeing Squirrels, But...

Also Because
I Was Thinking About

How Unfairly You Treated Me.

So I've Decided To...

Transfer Out Of Your Class.
- Transfer Out Of My Class.

- Wait,
How Did You Already Know?

- I Just Got The Email
From The Principal.

That, And I Read
Your -Word Essay On Why.

- I Spent A Lot Of Time On It.

Did You Give It A D?

- Phoebe...

- Oh, Come On, Dad.

You're Just Being Hard On Me
Because I'm Your Daughter.

- No, I'm Being Hard On You

Because You Are A Superhero.

And Grades Or No Grades,

Superheroes Don't Take
The Easy Way Out,

Like Repeating
An Old Assignment.

They Rise To The Challenge.

That's What I Was Trying
To Teach You.

So You Still Want To Transfer,
I'm Not Going To Stop You,

But Right Now,
I Got To Get Ready.

- Get Ready?
For What?

- Well, Because Of Someone's
Transfer Request,

Principal Bradford's Coming
To Evaluate My Class.

I Have To Prove
I'm A Good Teacher,

Or I Lose My Job.

- But You Are A Good Teacher.

All The Kids Love You.

Well, Most Of Them.

- Oh, I'm Not Worried.

I Like Teaching.

I'm Totally Going To Ace
This Evalu--

[Snores]

- Phoebe, I Think Dad Found
My Sleepy Sandwiches

And Brought Them For Lunch.

- [Snoring]

- Yup, He Found 'Em.

- Wake Him Up, Max.

- I Can't.

And If I'm Being Honest,

I'm Fighting The Urge
To Draw A Mustache On His Face.

- [Sighs]
We've Got To Do Something.

He's About To Get Evaluated
By Bradford.

He Could Lose His Job.

- But Then We'll Get A New Sub,

And That D Will Drop
Off Your Record.

- [Sighs]

No, Max, Not This Time.

I'm A Superhero,

And Superheroes Always Rise
To The Challenge.

- Well, This Supervillain
Has A Legendary Prank To Pull.

See Ya.

Come On, Max.

Not Even
The Most Evil Supervillain

Sacrifices His Own Father
For A Stupid High School Stunt.

- But I Need It
For Max Thunderman Day!

[Sighs]
Fine, I'll Help.

But First...

The 'Stache.

- Clearly, We're No Match
For These Squirrels.

We Need A Pro
To Take Care Of This.

Can You Help Us Out?

- No Problem.

Go Wait In The Kitchen.

Show Yourself, Squirrel!

[High-Pitched Yelling]

Oh!
There You Are, Tree Rat.

Listen, This Is My Turf.

You And Your Buddies
Need To Move Along.

- [Chattering]

- Hey, There's No Reason
To Bring My Mother Into This.

- [Chattering]

- Oh, That's It.

You Just Opened Up Yourself
A Can Of Hippity Hop.

Whaaa!

[Ripping Noises]

[Squirrel Chattering,
Dr. Colosso Yelling]

- Well?

- So The Squirrels
Are Gonna Stay.

But, Uh...

Good News.

They've Agreed
To Live In The Walls.

[Squirrel Chattering]

Correction:

We Have To Live In The Walls.

- Okay, He's Ready.

- He Looks Bananas.

- At Least You Can't Tell
He's Asleep.

[Farts]

- My Childhood
Is Officially Over.

- Come On, Max.

Let's Get Him
Carefully Over To His Stool.

Come On.

More Carefully Than That.

[Sighs]

[School Bell Rings]

- Showtime.

- Well, Hank,
You'd Better Wow Me.

I Don't Want To Have To Find
Another Sub.

That Would Take Time, Effort,

A Respectable Work Ethic.

And I Have None Of Those.

- [Laughs Nervously]

Time To Take Your Seat,
Mr. Bradford.

[Clears Throat]

Okay, Everybody.

Mr. Thunderman Would Like
To Welcome You All

To Today's Lesson,

"The Magic Of Chemistry."

[Upbeat Music]

♪ ♪

[Applause]

Thud!
[Students Gasp]

- Why Are You Doing That?

- 'Cause We Can.

- Okay, Okay,
Back To The Experiments.

[Crowd Gasps]

[Applause]

♪ ♪

- Oh!

Wow!

[Laughs]

Wow, This Guy's Great.

The Lights, The Dancing--

That's Private School Stuff,
People.

Where'd He Go?

- To...The Bathroom.

- Oh, Man.

I Am So Sore.

- [Laughs]

Oh, Tmi, Big Guy.

- Uh, Dad, I Think
Your Evaluation Went Great.

"Chemistry Is Magic"
Was A Fantastic Idea.

Very Powerful.

- Thank You, Phoebe.

Looks Like I Really Rose
To The Challenge

With These Experiments.

- Thanks, Dad.

For Being So Awesome!

- You Guys Are A Weird Family.

But I've Seen
All I Need To See.

Hank, You're Keeping Your Job.
- [Laughs]

- Wait, So Can I Transfer Back
Into Mr. Thunderman's Class?

- Ugh! You Are Nothing
But Paperwork, Phoebe.

Hank, Just A Reminder.

I Still Need A Copy
Of Your License.

- Oh!
Copy It Right Now.

- This Is Your Driver's License.
- Mm-Hmm.

- You're Not A Licensed Teacher,
Are You?

- What?
You Need A License To Teach?

- If Anyone Asks,
You Never Taught Here.

Anyone Record This?

- Caught Every Second.
- Ah.

Just--Oh, Look At That!

You'll Get This Back
When You Graduate.

- But That Might Never Happen!

- Come On, Hank!
We're Sitting Down To Eat.

- Coming!

- I Think Dad's Nose
Pooped On His Lip.

- That's Not How The Body Works,
Billy.

- Ah, I Tell You,

Wouldn't Mind
Getting Back In The Classroom

With My Favorite Twins.

I Wish There Was A Way.

- Dad, You Could Go
Back To School

And Get Your Teaching License.

- Yup, Sure Wish
There Was A Way.

- Well, We Were Lucky
To Have You As A Sub.

You Really Were A Great Teacher.

- Oh, Everybodies Wuves
Each Other!

If You Don't Mind,

I'm Trying To Eat My Din--

[Snoring]

- What's Wrong With Max?

- [Laughs]

He's Just Getting A Lesson
In Payback.

We Each Get Two Minutes
To Draw On Max's Face.

[All Cheer]
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