02x02 - Four Supes and a Baby

Episode transcripts for the TV show "The Thundermans". Aired: October 14, 2013 - May 25, 2018.*
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Series revolves around the Thundermans, a family with superpowers who try to live normal lives in the fictional town of Hiddenville.
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02x02 - Four Supes and a Baby

Post by bunniefuu »

- Oh, this dress?

Thank you, Dylan, I actually
got it last weekend,

and thanks for the compliment,
but I'm not that pretty.

- Okay, now that
Locker Dylan's into you,

try talking
to the actual Dylan.

- I can't--he's too cute.

Besides, I got a good thing
going with Locker Dylan now,

and I don't want
to mess that up.

- Stop it--you've been
crushing on him for two weeks.

Just go talk to him!
- About what?

I don't even know if we
have anything in common.

- It's too bad you can't
just go through his backpack

and see what he's into.

- Or can I?

- Delivery for Max
Thunder--[screams]

- I'll sign for that.

Max Thunder--[screams]maaaan!

Thanks, buddy.

Oh.

- Wait--you're getting your
deliveries at school now?

- Yeah, Dad took away
my mail privileges.

You banish one mailman
into a black hole...

but he had it coming.

- There's my backpack.

- Here, let me help you out
with that, Actual Dylan...

uh, Dylan.
- Thanks.

Phoebe, right?
- Yeah.

Uh, here, you
forgot your... diaper?

- Don't worry, it's clean...
and not mine.

- Wow... nice, funny,
and potty-trained.

Triple thr*at!

- It's my baby brother's.

I have to pick him up
from daycare after school.

- You have a little brother?

I have a little
brother and sister!

Look at us... having
things in common.

- Do you take him to the park
every day after school, too?

- Psh, no... yes!

Do you go to the park near...

- The Community Center.
- That's the one.

- Maybe I'll, uh, see
you at the park today.

- It's a date... a play date.

For the kids.

- [gasps]

- BOTH: [squealing]

- Oh, my gosh, you did
it--that was awesome!

I didn't know you took Billy
and Nora to the park every day.

- I do now.
- BOTH: [squealing]

- ♪

- WOMAN: ♪ What you see
is not what you get ♪

♪ Living our lives
with a secret ♪

♪ We fit right in,
bet you never guessed ♪

♪ Living our lives
just like all the rest ♪

♪ A picture-perfect family
is what we try to be ♪

♪ Look closer, you might
see the crazy things we do ♪

♪ This isn't make-believe,
it's our reality ♪

♪ Just your average family
trying to be normal ♪

♪ And stay out of trouble ♪

♪ Living a double life ♪

- [zooming sounds]

- [lasers blasting]

- Laser tag rules!

- No fair... you've
got burning-hot lasers

and I have a frozen corn dog.

- Life's not fair, turbo toes.

- [lasers blasting]

- MAX: Whoa!
- [thud]

- Oh, watch the lasers, guys!

- Life's not fair, turbo toes.

Oh, wait... I'm turbo toes!

- Gotta get this inside
before Dad sees it.

- Where'd you get that safe?

- Bought it off EvilBay,
belonged to Dark Mayhem,

but no one can open it.

- If nobody can open it,
then why'd you buy it?

- 'Cause I know a kid
with laser eyes

and another who can
hammer with super speed.

- You know somebody
else with super speed?

Oh, wait... me again.

- Now let's go see what
evil treasures are inside

that Dad doesn't
know he paid for.

- Surprise corn dog att*ck!

- [laser blasts]
- Ouch!

- [clears throat] Have you
two been playing laser tag?

- BOTH: Noooo...

- Then why does the fence
have more holes

than my lucky underpants?

- Uhh... it was Baby Lulu.

- Hey, don't blame my doll!
- [laser blasts]

- HANK: Nora!

- Uhh... it was Baby Lulu.

- In our defense,
we were only using

the powers we were born with,

so technically,
this is your fault.

-I would never melt the face
off your mother's garden gnome.

- Did that with one eye closed.

- Ooh, nice, Nora!

Bad Nora!

- Yeah, thanks to you
two, your father and I

have to drive all over town
replacing the stuff you ruined.

- Why drive all over town

when we can get
everything at CostClub?

- CostClub, Hank?

Every time you go there, you
buy something we don't need.

- When have I ever bought
something we did not need?

But Barb, it's a lawnmower

and a barbecue.

A mow-becue.

We need this.

- [sighs]

How'd that work
out for you, Hank?

- Kids, we're going
out for dinner!

Hi, my lawn's on fire.

- [spritzing water]

- Well, you're the one
who wouldn't let me get

the fire extinguisher-becue.

- Fine, we'll go to CostClub.

- All right!
- CostClub!

- No, no, you two
aren't going anywhere.

You're grounded because
of your little laser party.

- What? No, no, no,
you can't ground them!

I have to take them to
the park--my life depends on it.

- That's what you said when
the Wi-Fi went out last week,

and look... still breathing.

- Sorry, Phoebe--Billy and Nora
are not allowed

to leave this house.
- But we want to go to the park!

- Park!

- I thought you wanted
to go to CostClub.

- CostClub!

- No, you are not
going anywhere.

- Great, now we're stuck here
cracking open Max's safe.

- Safety books...

is what we'll be cracking open,

because that's what big
brother Max is all about.

[laughs] Safety!

- You know he's up
to something, right?

- Doesn't matter--he can't
hurt us at CostClub.

- Max, just let me take the kids
to the park for half an hour.

- And go against Mother
and Father's wishes?

Phoebe, that would be wrong.

Come on, guys, let's
go do something wrong.

- Wrong!

- You're not getting
your way this time, Max.

- MAX: Sorry, can't hear you.

I'm too busy getting my way.

- [loud chomp]
- Ow, you bit me!

- Sorry, not sorry.

- All right, since this
is a supervillain's safe,

Nora, you're gonna use
your laser eyes

to melt the titanium door.
- Whoa!

- Yeah, whoa!

And then Billy, you're gonna
use your super speed

to pound it with these hammers.

- Whoa!

- Guess what, sis--
we're going to the park.

Now we just need Billy.

- Whoa!

Brrrr...
- You're not Billy.

- Yeah, well, you're not
Jennifer Lopez,

so we both lose.

Whoaaa!!

[groans]

- Whoa!

What's going on?
- There's no time to explain.

We're going to the park.

Huh, guess there
was time to explain.

- Well, guess I'll just sit here
and wait for Max to realize

he was duped.
- MAX: Hey, I've been duped!

- [laughs]

- NORA: Monkey bars!
- Swirly slide!

- Whoa, get back here, you two.

A park is no place
to play around.

Now keep your eyes
open for a hot guy.

- There's one.

- I meant "hot" as in cute,
not as in sweaty mess.

- Hey, Phoebe!
- Hey, is that the hot guy

you were talking about?
- Oh, Nora, have some candy.

Hey, Dylan, so this
must be your brother.

- Yeah, yeah, his name's Rusty,

or as I like to call
him, Russ Man.

No, I don't--I just
made that up--I'm sorry.

- [laughs] Oh, I love babies.

Who's the cutest wittle baby?

- [crying]

- Oops, I haven't taught
him how to act

around pretty girls yet.

- Oh, my gosh, you
just called me pretty!

Oh, my gosh, I just
said that out loud!

- Hey, can we go show
Rusty the balloons?

- Oh, I don't think
that's a good idea.

- Well, actually, it'll give
us a chance to hang out.

- Great idea, Billy--
[loud whisper] take your time!

- Aww, look how cute they are

with those matching strollers.

Who knew we had
so much in common!

This park, siblings...

other things I haven't
thought of yet.

- [laughs]

I'm glad we're getting
to spend time together.

- Me, too, this is so perfect.

- MAX: Phoebe!
- Until he showed up.

- [panting]

Whew! Found you...

Man, how many parks
are in this city?

Right.
- Worst timing ever, Max.

- Hey, you stole Billy and Nora
from me.

- I needed them--
I had to make sure

Dylan and I had
something in common,

but now it turns out
Dylan likes me, too.

What? I know, right?
Dylan's great!

So you can have them back!

- Hey, don't try to trick me
with your girl talk, all right?

They're mine.

- Hey, sorry about that, Dylan.

My brother just came
to pick up my siblings.

Gonna miss those
little bundles of love.

- Oh, do you want
to go with them?

- With who?

- Billy, Nora, let's go.
- Not yet.

Billy's using the balloons to
teach our babies their colors.

- This one's blueberry,
that one's banana...

- Fruits aren't colors!

Let's go open my safe.

- I'm not leaving.

[in singsong voice]
And you can't catch me.

- I don't need to catch you!

I caught Baby Lulu.

- It's really cool how your
family gets along so well.

- Yeah, we're super-tight.

- Pick up the pace, you whiners!

- Give me back
my doll, you monster!

- You're the worst
babysitter in the world!

- So... remember when
you called me pretty?

- [timer beeping]
- Oh.

Time to feed my brother.
- Aww...

[in baby voice] Is it
Rusty-wusty's feeding time?

Who's a hungry wittle...

doll?!

- We were having so
much fun at the park,

and you sucked it all away.

- Yeah, you're
a fun sponge, Max.

- Did you or did you
not agree to open my safe?

- We didn't.
- Well, you're doing it anyway.

And I don't want to hear another
peep out of either one of you.

- [baby squalls]
- That was a peep--who peeped?

- It was Nora's doll.

- Baby Lulu doesn't cry.

She's a lady--
she only wets herself.

- [baby crying]

- Cool! Baby Lulu came to life!

- [baby crying]

- Guys... this is a real baby!

- It's Dylan's
baby brother Rusty.

You took the wrong
stroller, fun sponge!

- Turns out he's
a baby sponge, too.

- [cell phone rings]
- It's Phoebe.

- I wonder what she wants.

- Hey, Phoebs...
what's the haps?

- Oh, you know, just calling
to say hi, see how you're doing,

[whispers loudly]
and you took a baby!

- Hey, you took Billy
and Nora to the park

when they were grounded--you're
in a lot of trouble, too.

- Says the guy who took a baby!

- All right, all right,
we'll take the baby back

and switch them right
after we open the safe.

- [whisper-screams] Baby!

- Yeah, Phoebe, but what if
there's a baby in the safe?

Huh? Huh?

Okay, baby wins--
we're on our way.

Okay, Rusty...

- [laughs nervously]

- All right, let's get
this baby out of here

before Mom and Dad get home.
- [alarm sounds]

- FEMALE VOICE: Alert, alert,
parents approaching.

- Too late!
- Great, now we're gonna be

double grounded... or arrested!

- You guys stay here.

I'll take him to the back.

- BARBARA: Oh, perfect timing.

I--whoa!

- Coming through the back.

- HANK: Who wants popcorn?

- Not before dinner.

- We're surrounded--
what do we do?

- Relax, I have a plan.

- That was your plan?

- I didn't say
it was a good one.

- Let's just go turn
ourselves in

and take our chances
with the cops.

- Thanks for all
your help, kids.

Your father went
overboard at CostClub.

Again!

- What?

I only got the bare essentials.

- [truck reverse beeping]

- Leave the crate of owls there,

but make sure you put
the mayonnaise barrels

in the shade.

- [baby crying]

- Is that a baby crying?

- No, that's, uh, me.

I'm just so mmm-emotional
with puberty and all.

- Ohh, honey, Max,
it's okay to cry.

Let it out.
- [farting sound]

- Okay, that's not
quite what I meant.

- Sorry... my body's
just so confused.

- [baby crying]

- Okay, that definitely
sounds like a baby.

- Now you're calling me a baby?

- Aww... poor kid
needs a tissue.

Well, I hope we bought enough.

- [sighs] There you go, Rusty.

Mmm, that's some good bottle.

[speaking quietly]
Where are you, Max.

- Oh, the bottle's still full?

Here, let me try.

- Oh, look--a guy in camouflage!

- What--that's weird.

- I don't see him.
- 'Cause he's in camouflage.

Uh, look who's
done with his bottle.

- Wow, he drank that fast.

Okay, I'm probably
gonna have to burp him.

- No, no, I'll do it...

right after we play
Kick the Stroller.

Now you go kick it back.

Hurry--you're losing!

- [mouthing words]

- [baby crying]

- Can't sneak him out
until he stops crying.

Why won't he stop crying?

- Bring him here, Max.

I got this.

Boo!

- [baby cries more loudly]

- That's probably
why I don't have kids.

- [baby crying]

- What's that smell--
is that poop?

- I believe the scientific
term is "doo-doo."

- Nora, give me
one of my T-shirts.

- Uck!

- [groaning]

Oh, dirty diaper, dirty diaper!

- [water sprinkling]
- Baby pee, baby pee!

- All I wanted to do was
open up Dark Mayhem's safe

full of evil treasures.

- You opened up something evil.

- MAX: That should do it.

Nora...
- On it!

- [laser blasts]

- All right, you guys stay
down here and watch Rusty.

I'm gonna go get
rid of Mom and Dad.

- Are you kidding?

Who knows what's gonna
come out of that kid next?

- What? Come on, look at him.

He's a happy baby.
Yeah, Rusty?

Isn't that right, Rusty?
Yeah... yes, it is.

Yes, you are... yes, you are.

- [water splashes]

- Eww! He puked!

- I believe the scientific
term for that is "baby barf."

- Yeah, I know
what it is, Billy.

- [laughing wildly]

Oh, that's the stuff.

- Hank, you bought
too much stuff.

It's not all gonna fit.

- That's because
you're packing it all wrong.

Egg rolls go on the bottom.

Were you raised in a barn?

- You know that I was.

Why do you keep bringing it up?

- Sorry... here, just
let me do it, all right?

- Now watch--you're stacking
these wrong.

Okay, here we go--
get these down,

and you need to create
a foundation.

There you go, a foundation.

Next, [indistinct]--
get that in there.

Get all the air out.

Finally, here this...
- No.

- Yes, watch--watch!

Gotta believe--gotta want it!

All right.

There... it all fits.

- Hmm... that never
happened in the barn.

- Max!

- Uh, yeah, what's up?

- We're heading back to CostClub
to return a few things.

- [clears throat]
- A lot of things.

Mistakes were made in bulk.

- Keep watching Billy and
Nora--they're still grounded.

- Yep, you got it.
- Here, take these pretzels

down to the kids.
- [grunts]

- Okay, so Kick the Stroller
was kind of fun,

but I'm sick of Run, Baby, Run,

and I have to put
Rusty down for his nap.

- Um, why don't you two
take a nap together?

Nothing bonds a family
like unconscious time.

- I would like my brother now.

- Wait, uh...

let me sing him a lullaby.

♪ Lullaby and good-night ♪
- Phoebe.

- ♪ Don't talk,
Rusty's sleeping ♪

- Phoebe!

- Okay, I have a confession.

It's actually kind of funny--
you are gonna laugh!

- Okay.

- See, I just wanted to show you

that we had stuff in common,

but it got a little
out of control, and--

here's the funny part.

I kinda...

cheated at Kick the Stroller.

Yeah, technically
I double-kicked,

which is a huge no-no
in stroller kicking.

[fake laughing]

You're not laughing.

- Give me my brother back!

Get them off me!

- Uh, don't struggle, Dylan--it
only makes the balloons angrier!

- Get them off--get them off!

[screams]

- Touchdown!

- Give me that!

- Bye, Rusty--it's been smelly.

- [baby coos]

- What was that?

- Balloon att*ck.

No one ever thinks
it can happen to them.

So anyway, here's Rusty.

- Thanks.

Well, I should probably
get him home.

He's had a long day.

- So, uh, should we do
this again tomorrow?

- Tomorrow's bad for me.

Um, I have soccer practice,

and you have... serious issues.

- Oh, yeah, well,
your brother has been gone

for the past three hours,

and I've been holding a doll.

- Oh, no, he's coming back--run!

- Come on, Max--how much longer?

- Yeah, we're hungry!

- I told you, you each
get pounds of pretzels

when you cr*ck the safe.

- Out of the way,
out of the way!

Finally, Dark Mayhem's
evil treasures are mine!

Will it be a Doomsday device?

Plans to take over the world?

Whatever it is,
it's gonna be dark.

[screams]

[in squeaky voice]
Oh, yeah, that's dark.

Really dark.

- BOTH: [laughing]

- [laughing]

- ♪
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