02x16 - Who's Your Mommy?

Episode transcripts for the TV show "The Thundermans". Aired: October 14, 2013 - May 25, 2018.*
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Series revolves around the Thundermans, a family with superpowers who try to live normal lives in the fictional town of Hiddenville.
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02x16 - Who's Your Mommy?

Post by bunniefuu »

- This heatwave is the worst.

- So hot.

It's like we moved
into dad's bellybutton.

- No, no, I got this.

It's not like you guys
can move things with your minds.

- Let me help, Nora.

The hose goes over there.

- All right, Billy, go turn
on the water so we can

turn this room
into our own private waterpark.

- On it.

- Hold on.

Nobody move.

Assessing, assessing.

Mm-hmm. Something's different.

- Kids, why is
the slide inside?

- The slide!

We make a great team.

- You know we wouldn't
need this slide

if we just had a pool.

- I want a pool.

Come on, dad!

- Okay, you can have a pool.

- Seriously? Awesome.

- Hank.

- I'm the good cop, Barb.

Now you swoop in
and shut this down.

- Oh, okay, tell you what.

If you kids can help
raise the money,

we'll chip in too
and see what we can afford.

- Oh.

- Awesome.
- Great.

- Your bad cop needs work.

- I can't wait for a pool.

Step aside.

I'm doing this.

- Max.

I-I-I don't think
you should be--

- Whoo-hoo!

[unintelligible]

Oh!

- ALL: My turn!

- ♪ What you see
is not what you get ♪

♪ Living our lives
with a secret ♪

♪ We fit right in,
bet you'd never guess ♪

♪ Because we're living our lives
just like all the rest ♪

♪ A picture-perfect family
is what we try to be ♪

♪ But closer you might see
the crazy things we do ♪

♪ This isn't make-believe ♪

♪ It's our reality ♪

♪ Just your average family
trying to be normal ♪

♪ And stay out of trouble ♪

♪ Living a double life ♪

♪ Yard sale
dubby, dubby, dubby, dubby ♪

♪ Yard sale
dubby, dubby, dubby, dubby ♪

- Billy, if I knew you were
gonna make up an annoying song,

I never would suggested a--

- ♪ Yard sale,
dubby, dubby, dubby, dubby ♪

♪ Yard sale,
dubby, dubby, dubby, dubby ♪

- Guys, this is gonna be great.

We'll make a fortunate selling
our old junk, buy a pool

and then invite cute boys
over for pool parties.

- What is it with you
and cute boys?

- What?

It's not like I have an app
on my phone that tells me

when there's one on our block.

- [phone dings]

- VOICE ON PHONE: He's cute.

- I've had enough
of this place.

Unbearable heat,
unnecessary singing, Billy.

Jetpack, take me away!

- [engine fizzles]

- Uh, I blame Billy.

- Oh cool.

Comic books and action figures.

Oh, this isn't cool.

It's just mom.

No one's gonna buy
this Electress stuff.

Mom never saved the world
like Dad did.

- Yeah, but she did other
stuff like...

What did she do?

- I don't know.

But Dad was out there stopping
runaway trains,

taking down villains
and inventing the cookie pie.

Is it a cookie? Is it a pie?

Only Dad knows.

- It's both.

- And that's why he's
a national treasure.

- I am so proud of you kids,
chipping in,

working together as a family,
learning songs.

♪ Yard sale,
shama-lama ding dong ♪

What you got there, Billy?

- I'm selling all my army men.

Well, almost all.

Not Sergeant Flargeant,
he's my favorite.

- Sergeant Flargeant?

Who's this?

Corporal Smorporal?

- It is now.

- Nora, you must
really want a pool.

You're selling all your bows?

- Yep.

Yesterday, it was so hot, my bow
melted and stuck to my head.

It's a part of me now.

- Oh, Phoebe, that's all
my old Electress stuff.

You can't sell that.

- [chuckles] No kidding.

- What does that mean?

- What do you mean?

- I mean you can't sell that

because my actual Electress whip
is in this box.

This is a very dangerous w*apon.

If someone besides me
uses this,

they would really hurt
themselves.

- [chuckles] What'll happen?

Their lights will turn off?

Got it, putting the box back.

- Thank you.

- Uh, honey, you kind of
left out the part

where if your whip
gets in the wrong hands,

it'll explode and take out
half a city block.

- And risk that info getting
back to our supervillain son

voted most likely to take
out half a city block?

- So smart.

Uh, you know, you really were
something back in the day.

- Back in the day?

- I don't know
why I say things.

- [phone dings]

- VOICE ON PHONE: He's cute.

- Ooh, and he's right outside.

Oh, he is cute.

- What is it gonna take

to put you in these
old, dirty pants today?

- Here's your bow.

You got a good one.

I wore it to my first circus.

It still smells like elephant
and childish wonder.

Give it back, you monster!

I don't need
your dirty bow money!

- So...how are things
going over here?

- A lot of looky-loos,
but nobody's serious.

I think I'll call it a day.

- Nora, I know these bows mean
a lot to you, but if you want

that pool, you're gonna have
to make some sacrifices.

- Can we sell Dr. Colosso?

He's never liked you, and
now Billy's on his list.

- Why don't you go upstairs,
pick out the ones

you don't wear anymore
and just sell those?

- Okay.

What are you looking at?

- I see you eyeing those
old, dried up paintbrushes.

You a collector?

- Save it.

I'm here for comics.

You got any, t*nk top?

- I'm not wearing a t*nk top.

- But you look like
you got a bunch.

- What I got a bunch of
is comics,

but I'm not gonna sell 'em
to some kid who calls me names.

- I got bucks.

- t*nk top will be right back.

Well, you know what they say.

One man's trash is another weird
kid's bucks worth of trash.

- [sighs]

I need an app that finds
cute boys

that don't ask me
to pull their finger.

Oh, uh, mom, you didn't
have to move the box.

I was totally gonna do it.

- I didn't move it.

Oh, no, what if somebody
took it outside to sell it?

- That box isn't going
anywhere 'til trash day.

- What?
- Coming!

- If you like
that box of garbage,

you'll love these dirty pants.

- Hey, Max, have you seen
that box of mom's old stuff?

- Seen it and sold it.

- What?

[whispers] Max, that box had
mom's old Electress whip in it.

- Oh, poor sucker, now
he's gotta throw it out.

- No, Max, it's her real whip.

It's super dangerous
in a non-sups' hands.

You've gotta get it back.

Whoever bought it could
get seriously hurt.

- Luckily, I don't get
too attached to my customers.

- Hurt kid plus angry
mom equals no pool.

- No pool equals sad Max.

Hey, kid, get back here!

Wait, am I hurting the kid?

- Just get the box back.

- So did Max see the box?

- Sure did.

- Oh, good.

Did he put it back in the attic?

- [chuckles] Would I be standing
here avoiding eye contact

if Max didn't
put the box in the attic?

- Oh, oh, oh,
time to b*at the heat.

Oh, oh, freezy socks!

- [snaps]

- Hey.

Whatcha wearin'?

- You told me to sell
all the bows I don't wear.

But look, I still wear them all.

- [crash]

- How did my kids get so weird?

[laughing]

Frozen thundies!

Uh, uh, uh.

Ah!

- There's the nerd mobile.

This must be the place.

- [doorbell music plays]

- Yep, this is the place.

- What do you want, hipster?

- Look, I sold that box to you
by mistake,

and I was wondering
if I could get it back.

Here's your bucks.

- I gave you , sideburns.

- Right.

Wait, there's something
missing in here.

- You mean
Electress' real whip?

I don't know how you got it, but
you're never getting it back,

Wall Street.

- Stop calling me
names and give it back.

- I'm not giving
this bad boy up.

I'd only give this
to Electress herself.

We all know that's not
gonna happen, Chinatown.

- [locks snapping]

- Like four locks
are gonna stop me.

[laughs]

- [alarm beeping]

- That might.

- ♪

- No whip?

Why'd you come home
without the whip?

How did he even know
the whip was real?

- I don't know.

He's some sort of super fan.

Okay, he said he'd never give
it back to anyone

but Electress herself.

- Oh, well then we'll
just ask mom to help us.

- You think that's a good idea?
- No.

Oh, but we could tell dad.

- Really?
- No!

- BARB: Max, is
that you down there?

- [in high-pitched voice]
Yes, I'm down here.

- Why did you use a fake voice
if you're just

gonna say you're down here?

- BARB: Is that
you too, Phoebe?

- [in deep voice] Yes, it's me.

Look, if we wanna get that pool,
we gotta get that whip back

before mom figures out
it's gone.

Here she comes.

Lose the box.

- [crash]

- DR. COLOSSO: Ow!
I know that was you, Billy!

- Hey, mom, what's the haps?

- Max, where did
you put my stuff?

- Uh, in the attic right next
to the thing, under the thing

with the thingy.

- I-I just need
to find my whip.

It could blow up...

your minds it's so cool and not
dangerous.

Luckily my old Electro-puter
here has a homing signal

that can locate it in a jiffy.

- [whispers] Quick, go to your
old people translator app

and figure out
what "jiffy" means.

- Oh, no, it means fast,
Phoebe, really fast.

- [computer beeping]

- Two hundred and
fifty-three updates.

- [blows air]

- Has it been that long?

- [computer beeping]

- Oh, this thing's
gonna take forever.

- Max, we need a plan.

- Way ahead of you.

If he wants Electress,
we'll give him Electress.

Electress.

- Why are you
calling me Elect--oh.

- ♪

- So, dad, do you think we've
made enough to get a pool?

- No quite, Billy.

Pools cost a little more
than $ . and a button.

- Well, Sergeant Flargeant,
looks like this is goodbye.

It'll be easier if
we don't look at each other.

- Billy, what are you doing?

You can't sell
Sergeant Flargeant.

- I have to.

I really want to get
that pool for you.

You've been crying ever since
you got out here.

- I'm not crying.

This is sweat.

- Yeah, sweat
from your eyeballs.

- I'm serious.

It's like a million degrees
under these things.

- A million degrees of sadness.

- Nora, honey,
why are you crying?

- It's sweat!

- ♪

- [knocking on door]

- BOY: Use the doorbell!

- [doorbell music plays]

- Well, look who's
wearing a t*nk top.

- It's hot, okay?

Anyway, I thought you'd
might like to meet someone.

Oh, Electress!

- [electricity zapping]

- Hello, citizen.

- Electress!

Is it really you?

- Yes, it is me.

I hope you turn off the light
when you leave a room.

- I do! I don't.

I will!

- I believe you have
something of mine.

- Yes, yes, your whip.

Come in, my high-wattage queen.

- Whoa, I see you're a fan
of Electress...who is me.

- Of course, you're my hero.

I'll be right back.

I hid your whip in case
your mortal enemy Blackout

came looking for it.

- Bright idea, boy.

We wouldn't want it
falling into his hands.

- You--you mean her hands.

- I mean, her hands.

Ha, spark att*ck.

- [electricity zapping]

- Wow, Max, I can't believe
these gloves you made

actually work.

- Me neither.

I made them completely of
parts from your laptop.

I just hope he comes back soon.

Seeing mom's face everywhere
is freaking me out.

- It's not just her face.

This place is a shrine.

- This lonely loser pasted
mom's face on the cover

of this superhero magazine.

- No, Max, I think that's real.

I think this is all real.

"Electress short
circuits robot army."

"Electress saves White House
then lights Christmas tree."

- How could mom
have done all of this?

She can't even work
the thermostat.

- I got your whip.

But before you go,
Electress...

what was your favorite battle
ever?

- [laughs] That would be like
choosing my favorite child,

impossible.

Although at first, I'd have
to say my oldest daughter.

- Well, this was fun.

But Electress has to get
to a charity event.

Needy children
without batteries.

- So I'll just take my whip.

- Sorry, one more question.

What ever happened
to your sidekick?

- I had a sidekick?

Oh, ha, ha, my sidekick.

I was just telling
this guy that story.

Here, tell him the story.

- Don't look at me.

Until we got
to this dweeb cave,

I thought she was
dad's sidekick.

- Oh.

A return of the spark att*ck.

- [electricity buzzing]
- Ow!

- Oh, sorry.
- [electricity buzzing]

- Turn it off!
- I can't!

- You're not
the real Electress!

Liars!

Whiggy, whiggy whip!

- Hey, what are you doing?

- I'm sorry.

Whiggy, whiggy whip?

Is that something
Electress used to say?

- Nope.

That was all Cedrick.

- [computer beeping]

- Now we're cooking with gas.

Seventy percent done.

- [computer beeping]

- Sixty-eight?

How are you going backwards?

Fifty-one?

You're worse than
the thermostat.

Ugh!

- No one's buying
anything anymore, dad.

They're just playing with stuff.

Dad?

- Ah!

You're right, Billy.

At this rate, you guys probably
won't make enough for a pool.

- That's because
everybody bailed.

Where are Max and Phoebe?

[in deep voice] "We should
do a yard sale, guys."

[in high-pitched voice] "We can
tods make a lot of money, guys."

- Whoa, Billy,
take it easy, buddy.

- I sold Sergeant Flargeant.

My favorite toy now belongs to
that pasty kid down the street

who smells like cauliflower.

- Well, it's still light out.

You wanna stay and see
if we can sell anything?

- Nah.

Let's just pack it up.

- ♪

- Step right up.

Nora's prized bows
are now for sale.

This one was worn by the queen.

This one can charge
your cellphone.

This one has a pocket.

- Nora, why are selling
all of your bows?

- I realized I was being silly.

It's not fair if everyone else
is giving up stuff and I'm not.

Just like you gave up
Sergeant Flargeant.

- I am really
proud...of you both.

- Thanks.

Now if you'll excuse me,
I have some bows to sell.

This bow belonged to Rihanna.

This one can cure loneliness.

This one has a blog.

- [blows air]

- My freeze breath
isn't working either.

I think the whip is
cancelling our powers.

- Uh, man, mom had
some pretty cool stuff.

- Uh-oh, Max, it's getting hot.

- It's becoming unstable.

I just hope it doesn't spark.

It's a sure sign
a w*apon's about to explode.

- [sparks]

- And it's sparking.

- Hello, jerks.

I just called my dad.

And when he gets home, you guys
are gonna be in big trouble.

- Cedrick,
you have to let us go.

We think this whip
is about to explode.

- Why should I believe you?

You guys have been lying
to my face ever since I met you.

- You know what? You're right.

Let's start over.

I'm...Monica.

And this is Ross.

- And for all you know, we
could be Electress' children.

- Please.

There's no way kids with a mom
as cool as Electress

would know absolutely nothing
about her.

- He's right.

We're horrible kids.

- It's true, you are.

- Look, mom is
an amazing superhero,

and some random kid knows
more about her than we do.

- [electricity zapping]

- Shocked...to see me.

- Electress!

- Amazing!

How'd you find me,
my super-charged goddess?

- No need to make
this weird, citizen.

I used my state-of-the-art
homing device

to track my whip here.

Thank you, young man, for
being a heroic Electrolyte.

- Electress, these posers
aren't really your kids,

are they?

- My kids?

No way.

My kids would never be so
reckless as to compromise

their identities and safety just
to make a couple of bucks.

- Told you.

- But I will make sure
they get what's coming to them.

- A stern talking to while
we swim in our new pool?

- Farewell, young sparkplug.

- [electricity zapping]

- Electress, wait!

Before you go, who's gonna pay
for this hole in my carpet?

- ♪

- Well, you did it.

You got the pool you earned.

- We did all that hard work
for this.

- Oh, no, she didn't!

- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

Hey.

We are still proud of you kids.

- Well, two of you.

- Why are you proud of me?

I only sold one stinking bow.

- And it was a pleasure
doing business with you.

Good luck cashing
that check, girly.

Away!

- [engine fizzles]

- Uh.

And Billy wins again.

- Mom, did you really use
the Eiffel Tower

to stop an alien invasion?

- [in French accent]
But of course.

- One time, I used
it as a harpoon--

- Quiet, dad.

- Yeah, mom's talking.

Mom, we are so sorry
we didn't know

all those amazing things
about you.

You really used to be somebody.

- Thank you, I think.

- Yeah.

I don't know why
you don't talk about it.

Dad brags about his
stuff all the time.

- Oh, you wanna hear
the harpoon story?

- Quiet, dad.

- You know, as great as
those days were, my biggest

accomplishments are sitting
right here beside me.

- Aw, thanks, mom.

- And now that you're grounded,
you'll be beside me

for the next six months.

- Come on, mom, tell
us one superhero story.

- [indistinct chatter]

- It was so long ago.

There I was, up against
the deadliest sea monster,

Squidonkulis.

- Oh, I fought
Squidonkulis once.

- ALL: Dad!

- ♪

- ♪
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