- Uh, excuse me?
Ma'am, you're in
the wrong house.
- Ha. Ha.
Your Mom suggested I treat
myself for my birthday.
- So, you bought
yourself a skirt?
- Your father's gonna play
a round of golf in Scotland
and the kilt
is traditional dress.
- Hm, traditionally,
you should shave your legs
before you wear a dress.
- What the kids mean
to say is...
- ALL: Happy Birthday, Dad!
- Aw, it means so much to me
that your Mom made you say it.
Well, I'd better get going
so I don't miss my tee time.
Thunderman, away!
- [loud thud]
- Man skirt!
Nobody look up!
- ♪
♪ What you see ♪
♪ Is not what you get ♪
♪ Livin' our lives
with a secret ♪
♪ We fit right in ♪
♪ Bet you never guessed ♪
♪ 'Cause we're
livin' our lives ♪
♪ Just like all the rest ♪
♪ A picture
perfect family ♪
♪ Is what we try to be ♪
♪ Look closer,
you might see ♪
♪ The crazy things we do ♪
♪ This isn't
make believe ♪
♪ It's our reality ♪
♪ Just your average family ♪
♪ Trying to be normal
and stay out of trouble ♪
♪ Livin' a double life ♪
- Okay, your Dad's
gonna be gone all day.
That gives us time to set up
the perfect party
and make up for last year.
- HANK: [groaning]
- I'm sorry, Hank.
I thought fish was
supposed to smell like this.
- ALL: [sadly]
Happy Birthday, Dad...
- [ambulance siren wailing]
- I know this
is kind of weird,
but I really want
fish sticks right now.
- Don't worry, Mom. Max and I
wanna do our part this year.
- Yeah, I guess the big guy
does deserve one birthday
that doesn't end up
on a stretcher.
- Billy, Nora and I
will handle the cake,
gift-wrapping
and decorations.
- I'll blow up
the rubber bubbles.
- Don't you mean balloons?
- Balloons!
[zooming]
- All I need from you two
is to pick up your Dad's
birthday watch at the mall.
- That's it?
- Zip it, Phoebe.
They have three things to do.
We only have one.
- And don't get
distracted at the mall.
Be back as soon as you can
and remember the party's
a surprise.
- [zooming]
Surprise!
- Whose turn is it
to explain things to Billy?
- Looks like I'm up.
See you guys in a few hours.
- ♪
- So, that was
women's perfume
that girl sprayed you with.
[laughing]
- Yeah, for the second time,
I realize that.
- Well, at least
we got Dad's watch.
- Yeah, with time to spare--
which is why
I called Oyster.
- What's up, dude?
- Hey!
- OYSTER: [sniffing]
You smell like my nana.
- Well, then, your nana
smells great.
- Max, I can't believe
you called Oyster
when Mom wanted us home
as soon as possible.
- Hey, Phoebe, got your text.
- Texting's not calling.
Besides, we know how
to navigate the mall.
Guys get distracted
by the littlest--
- MAX & OYSTER:
Ear Blasters!
- Ear Blasters?
- They're the most awesomest
headphones ever.
- Yeah!
They have -micro
speakers that use
your eardrums as real drums.
- Ten out of ten doctors
do not recommend 'em.
- Ear Blasters are impossible
to find, but they're here.
[hissing]
They're only $ .
- Fine. Half an hour, Max.
We can't be late
for Dad's party.
- I cannot wait
to wear those
so I cannot hear
her any more.
- All right, we have
time for two stores,
the food court
and the carousel.
- Carousel?
- I'm just kidding.
Unless you want to.
- Okay, I want to!
- Oh, great, Madison is here.
That spoiled snob
is so fake.
Hi, Madison!
- Hi, girls!
- Hm...
- Mmm...
- Is that a Sarah Finn bag?
I didn't know they opened
a store here.
- [laughing] Oh, sweetie,
of course you didn't.
It's very high class.
And you're more...
gym class.
I'm sure the Denim Dungeon's
having a sale.
Hasta.
- [scoffs] Well, we know
where we're going.
- The carousel?
- Sarah Finn.
No, Ashley, we have to
go to that store
and prove to Madison that we're
just as good as she is.
Then we'll go to the...
carousel.
- Denim Dungeon?
- Okay, we need to get
on the same page here.
- I did it and it's not
upside down this time.
- Good boy.
Who wants a treat?
- Nora, we talked
about this.
Billy is not a dog.
- [panting, scratching]
- Not helping, sweetie.
You guys, the place
looks great.
At this rate, we'll be done way
before your Dad gets home.
- WOMAN ANNOUNCING:
Alert! Alert!
Your Dad is home.
- BARB: [gasps]
He's early!
Oh, if he sees this,
the surprise will be ruined.
Hide the decorations.
- On it!
[zooming]
- Mom, the cake!
- Oh!
- COLOSSO: Hey!
I'm covered in cake!
[happily]
Hey, I'm covered in cake!
- Hank, what happened?
- They closed the course
due to bad weather
and on the way home,
I was struck by lightning--
twice!
- I thought lightning doesn't
strike the same place twice.
- Tell that to Dad's butt.
[laughing]
- Y-You can't sit down.
After a lightning strike,
the last place you
should be is inside.
- You mean where there
isn't lightning?
- Well, it's just that you're
full of electricity.
It's not safe for the kids.
- Don't you want us
to be safe, Daddy?
- Yeah, don't you love us?
- Guys, relax.
I am perfectly--
- BARB: [powers zapping]
- HANK: Whoa!
Was that me?
- Yes. Yes.
We should get you outside
until the electricity
leaves your body.
[quietly]
Put the decorations back.
- On it.
[zooming]
Oops.
- Right, one more dollar
and those Ear Blasters are mine.
Why isn't this thing
taking my last dollar?
- Because your face
is on it.
- Oh, it's a Max Buck.
Wonder why these things
never caught on?
- Maybe because there's
a bunny on the back.
- Here, spot me
a real dollar.
- No can do, bro.
I threw all my change
in that pond.
I wished you'd get
those headphones.
Oh, man, I said
it out loud.
Now you're not
gonna get 'em.
- Guard the machine.
I'll be right back.
Heh, heh, it's like
stealing candy from a baby.
Shhhh...
- ♪
- Check it out.
I feel like royalty.
- Phoebe, we can't afford
anything in this store.
These socks are $ .
Perfect!
- Relax, I'm not
gonna buy this.
We're just gonna try on
the nice clothes,
hide the tags
and then take selfies.
Here.
- [cellphone camera clicks]
- Then we'll post
our glam pics
and prove to Madison
she was wrong about us.
Even though I have
worn this in gym class.
- Hello?
[laughing]
Sorry, we get this
all the time.
The Denim Dungeon
has moved downstairs.
This is a Sarah Finn
store now.
I'll just hang these
back up for you.
- That was rude.
He doesn't know us.
- You're right.
He doesn't.
[fake British accent]
Pardon me, sir,
but we are still
undecided about those garments.
- Excuse me?
- I am Lady Pipi Whiffenpouf
and this is...
- [fake British accent]
Lady Gaga.
No relation.
- We are wealthy heiresses
from jolly old England.
- Really?
- But if we're
not welcome here,
perhaps we should take
our business elsewhere.
- Uh, don't be silly.
Uh, London is
my favorite city.
I love Piccadilly Circus.
- Ah, well, then Piccadilly
us more outfits.
- Right away.
Uh, ladies, some treats
for our special guests.
If you need anything
at all, just ask.
Oh...
- Ah...
- BOTH:
[excited squealing]
- Lady Gaga?
- Lady Whiffleball.
- Close enough. Woo!
- [cellphone ringing]
- I just sent two
teenagers to the mall.
What was I thinking?
I sent two kids
to bake a cake.
What was I thinking?
- HANK: Barb?
Barb?
- Yes, Hank?
- How much longer do I have to
stand here in these tires?
I look ridiculous.
- Well, the rubber
is canceling out
the electric current
in your body.
- Yeah, but I'm so--
- Uh! Uh! Uh!
Take it from Electriss--
electrical charges are
no laughing matter.
- Isn't that from one of your
old safety commercials
back in Metroburg?
- Take it from Electriss--
electrical charges
are no laughing matter.
Use your dome.
Protect your home.
- MALE ANNOUNCING: Paid for
by Superheroes for Safety.
- Just stay here until
Max and Phoebe get back.
- Barb, wait,
don't go inside.
- No, I don't think
you should--
- HANK: Ahhhh!
- BARB: Hank?
Oh!
- Where am I going now?
Help!
- Hank?
- [car horn blaring]
- If Dad's going
to the store,
tell him we're
out of milk.
- Fifty-five cents.
Over half way there.
Oyster, how're you doin'?
- All good here.
- Ear Blasters for
only a dollar?
- Not good. Not good here.
You'd better hurry.
- Are you stealing money?
- No.
I'm...
the Wish Fairy
and I'm just
collecting money
to take it back
to Wishville.
You got a wish?
A penny, huh?
A couple of quarters and your
wish goes on the fast track.
- Thanks, Mr. Fairy.
- Outta my Wish Pond, punk.
- Take your hands
off the Wish Fairy.
[kicks guard]
- Ow!
- Thanks, kid.
How are you doing that?
- It's not a very big pond.
- Aw...
- [clears throat]
- Why, thank you.
Your dry and crumbly muffins
are surprisingly smashing.
- They're scones and they
taste even better
when you buy something.
- All in good time,
old chap.
- Or do you prefer gov'nor?
- Come on, let's get a picture
with our fancy food.
- What's a scone, anyway?
- Who cares--as long as Madison
sees us eating it.
- [cellphone camera clicks]
- MAX: Let me go!
You're not even a real cop.
- You've gotta
be kidding me.
- Lady Whifflepouff, wait!
- [store alarm wailing]
- Stop her!
- Ah!
- What did you do, Max?
- This girl is a thief.
- What did you do, Phoebe?
- She stole
a Sarah Finn vest.
- No, no, I was just
coming to check on my brother.
- Who also seems to be
in the family business.
- Wait, my Dad's birthday watch
is still in the store.
- Oh, did you lose your watch
like you lost your accent?
- Oh, my "Gurd", Phoebe.
Shoplift much?
- [cellphone camera clicks]
- You two are banned
for life.
- You can't do that!
- [sighing] I can't
believe he did that.
- We can't go home
empty-handed
and ruin Dad's
birthday--again.
Do you know how mad
Mom's gonna be?
- [cellphone ringing]
- Looks like we're about
to find out. Hey, Mom.
- BARB ON PHONE: Where
are you guys?
You were supposed to be
home an hour ago.
- Yeah, I know we're late.
It's...
Well, it's old Phoebe.
- BARB: Get back here.
I'm not kidding around.
- We'll be there.
Phoebe's just gotta
do one more thing.
- BARB: Tell Phoebe to--
- Woo, she is not happy
with you.
- Ashley, did you find my Dad's
watch in the Sarah Finn store?
- No, I looked everywhere.
What else can I do?
I'm all yours until
my Mom gets here.
- Well, it would be
great if you could--
- [cellphone musical tone]
- Oh, that's my Mom. Gotta go.
- We've gotta get back inside
and get Dad's watch.
- Are you thinking
what I'm thinking?
- I'm never thinking
what you're thinking.
- ♪
- It took two hours
to make a cake
that Dad's gonna eat
in two seconds.
- So, what's next?
- Looks like we have time to
wrap our gifts for Dad.
- On it!
[zooming]
[sighing]
I no longer regret my summer
at gift wrapping camp.
- Well, you're gonna.
- They warned me at
camp there'd be haters!
- NORA: [zapping]
- BILLY: Ah! Ah!
- ♪
- [bins thud]
- PHOEBE: [grunts]
You're supposed
to be an evil genius
and this is the best
you got?
- Oh, I'm sorry.
Are you giving me 'tude
from outside or inside the mall?
- KIDS: [shouting]
- Oh, no, Oyster's in trouble.
- Forget him, Max.
We have to find Dad's watch.
Oyster can take
care of himself.
- [high-pitched]
Stay back! Stay back!
Hold up, bro. You're not
touching this screen.
Ha! Ha!
Ugh!
It tastes like the flu.
- KIDS: [shouting]
- See, I told you
Oyster's got it.
- Oh, he's gonna
get something.
- Come on, let's find
Dad's watch.
- Oh, tell Jocelyn that
I'll be back in .
I need a massage.
Ooh...
Hm...
- I think Dad's watch
just found us.
- [fake British accent]
My word!
How dare that thief
call me a thief.
- Why are you talking
like that?
- I dunno. It helps me forget
I'm in a garbage can.
Tally-ho!
- Barb, I have to go
to the bathroom.
- Not so fast.
Remember, if you "charge"
into electrical situations,
you might be "shocked"
by what happens.
- Really, Barb?
More safety commercials?
- Take it from Electriss--
if you "charge" into
electrical situations,
you may be "shocked"
by what happens,
and that's what's up.
- MALE ANNOUNCING: Paid for
by Superheroes for Safety.
- I swear I don't have
any charge in me,
but I do have plenty
of water and it wants out!
Is there something
wrong with your neck?
- Yeah, someone in
tires rolled over me
when I was trying
to save them. Just...
Kids!
No, you can't go inside yet.
The kids have something
to show you.
Quick, blindfold your Dad
for his birthday piñata
that he will hit
because it exists.
- Why are we talking
like this?
- Blindfold the man.
- I love piñatas.
Is it filled with
candy or steak?
No, don't tell me.
Let it be a surprise.
Please be steak!
[laughing]
- Okay, the piñata's
in front of you.
Swing away!
- [broom whooshing]
- I can't believe Max
and Phoebe aren't here yet
with your father's gift.
His birthday's gonna
be ruined again.
- Ooh, so close, Dad.
- Aw, I'm comin'
for you, candy--
and/or steak!
- [broom whooshing]
- He's had like swings.
When's it gonna
be my turn?
- [broom whooshing]
- [banana peel whooshes, splats]
- KID: Oh!
- We've gotta get rid
of that masseuse.
I know. We'll find
the security office,
hack into the mall's PA system
and then announce that--
- Or we can do this.
- Less clever, but works.
- MAN: My back is in knots
thanks to this girl
who came into my store.
She tried to steal a vest.
Can you believe it?
- She sounds annoying.
- Mmm. You should've seen
what she was wearing.
Two words--last season.
- [pounding on back] She could
have nicer clothes at home!
You don't know!
- [voice vibrating]
Easy...
That's not a knot,
that's my spine.
- [coins rattle]
- Four quarters!
Hello, Ear Blasters.
- Max, no.
Watch, remember?
- Wait, I'd know that
accentless voice anywhere.
Hmmmm...
- You stole my Dad's watch
and I want it back.
- MAN: [grunting]
- Max, the watch!
- Phoebe, the Ear Blasters!
- Dad's birthday
is more important.
- [powers whooshing]
- What is happening?
Oh!
[straining]
[sputtering]
I am the weekend Assistant
Manager of Sarah Finn.
I don't deserve this.
- But you do deserve this.
- [hand smacks face]
Oh!
- I got 'em.
Thank you, Mr. Fairy.
- All right, come on, we can
still make it to Dad's party.
- Wait, where's Oyster?
- Uh, he must have given
up and gone home.
- [muffled screaming]
- [broom whooshing]
- [grunting]
Man, this is a small piñata.
- [broom whooshing]
- Guys? Guys?
There's no piñata.
I've been swinging
at imaginary meat?
Why does my birthday
hate me?
- [thunder crashing]
- Oh, that cloud
looks familiar.
- This is the last message
I'm gonna leave.
I can't believe how
irresponsible you two are being.
I mean, I expect this
from you, Max,
but not you, Phoebe.
It's what I would have said...
if you just hadn't
walked in. Bye.
Perfect timing.
Give or take three hours.
Okay, everybody hide.
I'll go get Hank.
- Oh, I need a bathroom!
- ALL: Surprise!
- Oh, ho, ho, ho.
You guys...
This is perfect.
I had no idea.
- We invited all the people
that you love the most.
- Thank you for
coming, everyone.
This is the best
birthday ever.
Now I've just gotta--
- Wait, Dad.
Uh, here, open this.
It's from all of us.
- Okay.
- You have no idea
what this cost me.
Ear Blasters.
It cost me a pair
of Ear Blasters.
- Oh, a new watch!
Thanks, guys.
You have no idea
what this means
and I'll tell you as soon
as I go to the bathroom!
- But, honey,
someone's in there.
- Oh, I can't wait.
I'm going to
the gas station.
- [thunder crashing]
- [electrical zapping]
- [loud thud]
- I'm sorry, Hank!
I had no idea this watch was a
super-conductor of electricity.
- [sadly]
Happy Birthday, Dad...
- [ambulance siren wailing]
- Take it from Electriss--
cramming too many plugs
into a socket isn't cool.
So fight that urge
and get a surge...protector.
Take it from Electriss--
before leaving home, make sure
you turn off the lights
because wasting electricity
megahertz us all.
- MALE ANNOUNCING: Paid for
by Superheroes for Safety.
- ♪
02x18 - Mall Time Crooks
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Series revolves around the Thundermans, a family with superpowers who try to live normal lives in the fictional town of Hiddenville.
Series revolves around the Thundermans, a family with superpowers who try to live normal lives in the fictional town of Hiddenville.