03x11 - No Country for Old Mentors

[bunniefuu]

- FEMALE COMPUTER VOICE:
Alert! Alert!

Incoming transmission from
Super President Kickbutt.

- Hello, Max.
I'm calling for Phoebe.

- Oh, sorry, wrong number.
- [pillow thuds]

- Oh!

- Madam President,
how can I help you?

- The Hero League has decided

it's time to take your
next big superhero step.

- Oh, does it involve
moving away?

- Anyway, you've been accepted
into our mentor program.

I'm sending over a list
of approved superheroes

who can take you
under their wing

and teach you
everything they know.

Choose one and report back.

President Kickbutt out.

- I can't believe
this is happening!

I get to go to Metroburg
to train with a legend.

[gasping]

Look who's on
the mentor list!

- ALL: Tech Rider!

- Oh, he has so many
awesome gadgets

and look how many
saves he's racked up.

- Forget about the saves.

He's got a supercycle
that's so fast

it'll turn your face
inside out.

I must know how that feels.

- Me, too.

- So, Phoebe...

it's pretty clear
who you're gonna choose.

The guy's a superstar.
- Right?

Monitor,
call President Kickbutt.

- COMPUTER VOICE: Please hold
for Super President Kickbutt.

- Oh, Dad, guess what?

I've been accepted into
the Hero League Mentor Program.

- Oh, honey,
that's fantastic!

[laughing]

You know who's on that list.

- Yeah, I do.

- This is a dream come true.

I finally get to mentor
my own daughter!

- Say what?

- Oh, keep it
together, Hank.

This is just the best
day of your life.

- That was quick.

Have you made your
decision already?

- HANK: Ohhhh...

- Yep, I'm choosing...

Thunderman.

- MAX & COLOSSO:
Thunderman?

- Ohhhh...I'm so happy!
[laughing]

Here come the supertears!

Oh, you all are
crying, too?

- MAX: Yeah.
- COLOSSO: Yeah.

- PHOEBE: We're just so happy.
- HANK: [laughing]

- ♪

♪ What you see ♪

♪ Is not what you get ♪

♪ Livin' our lives
with a secret ♪

♪ We fit right in ♪

♪ Bet you never guessed ♪

♪ 'Cause we're
livin' our lives ♪

♪ Just like all the rest ♪

♪ A picture
perfect family ♪

♪ Is what we try to be ♪

♪ Look closer,
you might see ♪

♪ The crazy things we do ♪

♪ This isn't
make believe ♪

♪ It's our reality ♪

♪ Just your average family ♪

♪ Trying to be normal
and stay out of trouble ♪

♪ Livin' a double life ♪

- [laughing]
How exciting is this?

Thunderman's gonna
be a mentor!

[laughing]

One day, you will be
able to do this...

- [heavy thud]

- I can't believe
you picked Dad.

- What was I supposed to do?
- Not pick Dad!

- Well, obviously
you won't fly,

But, uh, you will
learn a lot.

- Just not about supercycles.

- To think--you could
have been stuck with someone

like Technical Rider Man.
- It's just Tech Rider.

- His supercycle and
all his high-tech gizmos

might look cool,

but they are no
substitute for this.

- A bad haircut?

- No, a brain.

Whether you use supergadgets
or superpowers,

it's a superhero's
best friend.

- He does have a pretty
amazing save record, Dad.

Oh, and he's a swimsuit
model, too.

- Yeah, I've
modelled before.

[laughing]

- For "Bad Haircuts"?

- Phoebe, we are gonna
do great things together.

And, Max, my hair used
to look just like yours.

[whispering]
Think about that.

- You know what?

Maybe training with
Dad will be great.

Thunderman is the greatest
superhero ever.

- Was the greatest
superhero ever.

- Tech Rider's the man now.

And I know you feel
the same way because...

you're writing "Phoebe hearts
Tech Rider" on your tablet.

- Don't you have
a bunny to "heart"?

- If she won't
change her mentor,

then you're gonna
have to do it for her.

- How am I supposed
to do that?

[imitating Phoebe]
So, like, if it's okay,

I'd like to switch
my mentor to Tech Rider.

Cool beans. OMG,
look at my nails.

- Max, I have a job to do--

and you are not pullin'
off that wig, girlfriend.

- If I'm gonna get
that supercycle,

I'm just gonna have
to convince Phoebe

to ask for
Tech Rider herself.

Why are you dressed
like a girl, too?

- Uh, it's : .

- BARB: It's gonna be
cold today, guys,

so, don't forget
your jackets.

- I lost mine.
- CHLOE: Uh-oh!

- Billy, that jacket
was brand new.

Nora, I need your lunchbox.
- I lost it.

- Here comes the hammer.

- Okay, you guys can't
keep losing things.

Jackets and lunchboxes
don't just grow on trees.

- True. True.

So, when you go
to the store,

can you buy me a lunchbox
with a kitty on it?

- No, I am not buying
you a new lunchbox.

- Ha! Ha!

- Or you a new jacket.

- Ha! Ha!

- Okay, you guys are just gonna
have to survive without them

and then, maybe,
you'll learn not to lose stuff.

- Don't even think
about it.

- ♪

- Oh, welcome to the mean
streets of Metroburg.

- Very funny, Dad.

To the real
Metroburg, away!

Away!

- Sweetie, this driveway
is our big city simulator.

It's all about preparation.

Now as a crime-fighter,
you have to learn

how to arrive at a scene,
access a situation...

[snaps fingers]
... make the right call.

- Okay.

I'm here, this situation
is ridiculous,

I'm going back inside.

- No, no, Phoebe,
Phoebe, Phoebe, Phoebe...

this is serious,
all right?

Now this bike represents
a tanker truck

that crashed next to
a bus full of kids,

stalled in a busy
intersection.

- What's the empty
pizza box represent?

- Oh, your Mom
made meatloaf.

So... what do you do?

- Um, I use my freeze breath

on the tanker truck
so it doesn't explode,

and everyone lives
happily ever after.

- Almost.

You forgot to
shut down the road.

Look, here comes
an out-of-control cement truck.

- I'm outta control, baby.

- And you just caused
a -car pile-up.

- You just got schooled.

- Dad, I'm the protector
of Hiddenville.

I think I'm past
pretend cement trucks

and trash-talking toddlers.

- Uh-uh-uh-uh!
Mentor. Mentee.

Now, what's next?

Ooh. Ooh. Ooh.
Small town tornado.

Okay, I was gonna get
some fans and, ooh,

milk cartons to
represent flying cows!

- Poor, poor Phoebe.

Dad's never gonna
take you to Metroburg.

- You don't know that.

- I stole his training schedule.
- You do know that.

What?

After two weeks
in the driveway,

I graduate to the attic?

The only crime up
there is humidity.

My hair's gonna
be a mess.

- [cell phone tings]

- Oh, would you
look at that!

Tech Rider just took
down some bank robbers.

But don't you worry.

Battling frizzy hair in
the attic sounds a lot more fun.

- Uh, Phoebe Thunderman
for President Kickbutt, please.

- ♪

- I don't understand fashion.

- Mom's making us
use this stuff now

because Billy lost his jacket
and I lost my lunchbox.

- You kids are just
like your Mom.

She lost her phone
this morning.

Now between you and me,

the woman would lose her head,
if it wasn't screwed on.

Hey, honey, your head
looks beautiful.

- Aw, look at
my little garbage kids.

Here, I need a picture.

- [camera shutter clicks]

- Send me a copy.

- Oh, my gosh,
how could she?

- Well, she could
email it, text it.

It's actually
kind of easy.

- Not the picture.

She has a new phone.

She already replaced
the one she lost.

- Well, that's not fair.

She won't replace
the stuff we lost.

- We need to teach
her a lesson.

- And then we'll teach
you how to email and text.

- ♪

- Oh, there you are.

Okay, Phoebe,
Mr. Sprinkles over there

is biting through
the gas line.

You're only gonna
have seconds before--

- Uh, Dad, um...
I have to tell you something.

I spoke to
President Kickbutt yesterday.

We actually came up with a way
to make my mentorship better.

- Well, what could be
any better than this?

- [supercycle zooming]

- [brakes screeching]

- [engine revving]

- I heard somebody
needs a new mentor.

- Tech Rider?

- That's how it
gets better.

- So, you called
President Kickbutt

and had me replaced with
this pimply-faced kid?

- Dad, he has perfect skin.

- Let me see
what I wanna see.

- The Hero League said
this mentorship program

is supposed to be for
on-the-job training,

not on-the-driveway
training.

- So, you think you're ready
to zip off to Metroburg

on this--
- Supercycle!

- [powers zapping]
- MAX: [screaming]

- Sorry, buddy, no one goes
near the supercycle.

[patting bike]

- It's okay.

Seeing it from the ground,
with a slight head wound,

is just as rewarding.

- Thunderman!
It is an honor to meet you.

I was actually lucky enough

to be at your retirement
celebration in Metroburg.

- See, Dad, he's not so bad.
He's a fan.

- Yeah, my folks
said I slept through

the whole thing
in my stroller,

but, hey, I was
there, right?

May I?
- May you what?

- Drone selfie!
- [drone camera flash pops]

- So, the Hero League tells me
you've cost them a fortune

mopping up the aftermath
of your reckless behavior.

- Sometimes you've gotta destroy
a whole city to save it,

you know what I'm sayin'?

- No.
- [laughing]

You are a riot, T-man.

I'm gonna have my people
send you some swag.

Brenda, send my new buddy,

Thunderman,
a Tech Rider hat.

[quietly]
He's got some weird hair.

- Listen, kid,
sorry you came

all this way on
your little scooter,

but after this little show,

I'm sure my daughter's
changed her mind

about all this
tech nonsense.

- Ooh, what's a nano
stun grenade?

- Aw, what a cute
little marble.

- [energy zapping]

- TECH RIDER:
[laughing]

Stunned him!
Good one, rookie.

Let's go rack up some
saves in Metroburg.

- Bye, T-man.
- [engine starts]

- [tires screeching]

- [supercycle zooming]

- I'm kinda blind
right now, but...

can I feel the look
on your face?

Oh. Oh, yeah.

You're much more
stunned than I am.

- Look, I'm fine.
I'm fine. I'm fine.

This is all part
of the mentoring process.

I'm mentoring her
by letting her go.

- Do you really
believe that?

- Let me believe
what I wanna believe!

- I don't know if I'm smelling
exhaust or failure.

- Oh, I didn't fail, my friend.
[chuckling]

While T-man and Jerk Rider
were taking a selfie,

I snuck over to
the supercycle,

and put a remote
control on it.

Then on my way back,

I did what every
supervillain does--

I crop dusted them.

Now I just wait
for the right moment

to activate
my remote control

and drive it back
to its new daddy--me.

- I call first ride!

- Where'd you buy
that outfit?

- You don't buy something
like this, Max...

[deep voice]
... you earn it.

- Mom's sunglasses,
her shoes, her purse.

- She's gonna think
she lost all this stuff,

and when she replaces
them, like her phone,

we'll bust her.
- BILLY: [laughing]

- BARB: Okay, Hank,
maybe I left it downstairs.

- She's coming!
Quick, hide everything!

- BILLY: [zooming]

- Did you lose
something, Mom?

- Uh, no, I am just
looking for...

hugs!

Where...?

- Hey, Mom, can I borrow
your sneakers?

I'm doing a school report
on women's footwear.

- Uh, yeah. Maybe later.
I just...

I have to go run
some errands.

- In your slippers?

- Uh, it's what all
the moms are doing now.

So, put that in your
report, huh?

Bye!

- [supercycle zooming]

- [engine revving]

- That was awesome!
Right, Phoebe?

Phoebe?

- [panting]

Next time you do
a wheelie,

can I get a little
heads up?

I'll hold on tighter.

- Learning lessons!
Up top!

- I'd high-five you,
but my hands are full of gravel.

- I got you covered. Woo!

All righty!

Looks like it's
your lucky day, rookie.

We have got a big
first mish.

That's what I call "mission."
It saves time.

- Hey, learnin'
from my ment.

- Huh?
- Mentor.

I was just saving time.
Never mind.

- Okay! All right!

According to the Hero League,

we have got a prison
break goin' down.

Let's do this! Woo!
- [powers zapping]

- Wait! Well,
shouldn't we have a plan?

I guess he'll
tell me inside.

- ♪

- It looks like
they've stopped.

Time to bring my new
supercycle home.

[chuckling]
[typing on keyboard]

- Why isn't it working?

- It's empty!

Where am I gonna find
"AA" batteries?

Colosso, how many batteries
does your tanning bed take?

- Don't you dare!

It's almost beach season.

- MALE VOICE ANNOUNCING:
Warning!

Escape attempt in progress.

- [alarm blaring]

- All right, let's assess
the situation.

- Assess this.

I'm gonna hit that thing
with a sonic pulse!

- Wait!
- [powers zapping]

- [high-pitched hissing]
- Do you hear that?

- Yeah, I do.

That's the sound of
me saving everyone's butt!

- Not quite. This place
is made out of thundertanium.

It's indestructible
but it also

amplifies sonic
waves that--

- [sonic wave thuds]

- That will happen.

Oh!
- [door locks clicking]

- PHOEBE: The doors!

- [metal whining]

- All right.
Mentor pop quiz.

Twelve extremely shady
prisoners staring you down.

What do you do?

By the way, this is
a time-sensitive quiz.

- I do this!

- PRISONERS: [roaring]
- [blowing icy air]

- ♪

- Now that's
a -car pile-up.

[blowing icy air]

- Oh, ho, ho, ho!
I just mentored it up!

Drone selfie!
- [drone camera flash pops]

- ♪

- What's in the bag, Mom?

- Just a few things
I needed to pick up.

- I'll bet you did.

- Listen, there's something
I need to tell you two.

- Oh, there's plenty
you need to tell us.

Like slippers were all
the rage--last season.

- We know what
you've been up to.

So we stole a bunch
of your things,

knowing you'd just
go buy new ones.

- New ones--like these.

- See? Sunglasses, shoes,
a pocketbook, earrings.

Another phone!

- A lunchbox.
A jacket for a tiny person.

- Are those for us?

- Well, if you'd
let me finish,

you'd know that I,
too, lose things,

and I realized it
wasn't right

for me to replace my stuff,
and not yours as well.

- Well...thank you
for clearing that up.

And you can rest assured that
we won't hold it against you.

Come on, Billy!
- No, no, not so fast, okay?

You two stole a bunch
of my stuff

and you tried
to trick me.

Two weeks' dish duty.

- Or you walk away
from this knowing

you have two of everything
and we don't tell Dad.

- You can't negotiate.
I am the mom.

One week's dish duty

and I get to keep
all the phones.

- BILLY & NORA: Deal!

- What just happened
in there?

- I taught you how to go

from zero to awesome in
. seconds! Up top!

- When we got here,

there was one bad guy
trying to escape.

And thanks to your
. seconds,

I had to step in
and capture .

- I'm not gonna lie, rookie.
You were amazing in there--

which means I'm
an incredible mentor.

Now...
[patting seat]

hop on because
I feel like doing

a victory wheelie
tech ride!

- No, I'm going home.
This was a mistake.

And you can hop on.
I'm in front now.

- [engine starts]
- Whoa!

- Did you turn this
thing on?

- [tires squealing]

- [supercycle zooming]
- Whoooaaaa!

- Hey, get back here!

I will not go back
to being Tech Walker!

Tech Walker shoes, activate.
- [button beeps]

- [sighing]

- There it is. The supercycle's
on its way home.

Thanks for the new batteries.

- Don't thank me.
Thank Chloe.

- [whooshing]

You are a monster!

[whooshing]

- Oh, I wish I could've
seen Phoebe's face

when this thing took
off with nobody on it.

- [screaming]
- [supercycle zooming]

- Why don't this thing stop?

Supercycle, I command
you to turn left.

- [tires screeching]
- All right!

- That's right,
come to papa.

- Oh, that looks fun.
Let me try.

- Wait, paws off my remote.
- Come on, share!

- My face is turning
inside out!

- Let go!
- No, you let go!

- BOTH: [grunting]

- Oh, no, the supercycle!

- MAX: I think it's heading
for that cliff!

- I'm heading for that cliff!

- My supercycle!

- [screaming]

- ♪

- [gasping]
Dad!

Thank you!

[panting]

Wait. Where'd
you come from?

- I've been keeping
an eye on you.

Not because I don't
trust you,

because I didn't
trust Tech Rider.

- You were right.
He is reckless.

I was just so caught up
in his supercycle

and his supergadgets,
and his supersmooth skin.

- I hate to admit it,
but his skin does glow.

- Dad, I never should
have replaced you.

I'm sorry.

- I understand. My methods
can be old-fashioned.

- Are you kidding me?

I used everything you
taught me at the prison

and that's what
saved the day.

I can't wait for
our next lesson.

- Are you saying you want
me to be your mentor again?

- I'm saying...

today made me
realize a mentor

is a person you look
up to and learn from

and that person's
always been you.

So, I'm gonna call
President Kickbutt

and make it official--again.

- [voice cracking]
Nothing would make me prouder.

- [whooshing]

- Perfect, Chloe.

Now I think the supercycle
disappeared from my radar

somewhere around--
- Speaking of being proud...

- Oh! Hey, guys!
[laughing]

Chloe and I,
we're just leaving.

Quick, home, Chloe!

- This is for stealing
my batteries!

[whooshing]

- Any chance you two saw a
runaway motorcycle around here?

- Thunderman...

- HANK & PHOEBE: ...away!

- I guess I'm walkin'.

- On your left!

- ♪