03x16 - Original Prankster

[bunniefuu]

So, Max, I hear
it's your six-month anniversary.

What are you gonna get Alison?

- Bratwurst?

- Yeah, no, thanks.

She's not really into eating
food out of people's backpacks.

- But I am, bro.

Oooh, combo.

- Oh, here she comes.

Hey, there you are.

I saved us the best table.

- Oh, I didn't know
Splat Burger had a best table.

- Oh, look, Evan's on a date.

It's with a lizard,
but still...love.

- Shall we share the cheesecake,
my little pookie bear?

- [hissing]

- I just love this
romantic side of you, Max.

You're bursting with emotion.

- Oh, something's gonna burst.

Watch this.

- [rumbling]

- [splat]

- ALL: [laughing]

- MAX: [laughing]

- You did this?

- Happy anniversary!

What'd you get me?

- ♪

♪ What you see
is not what you get ♪

♪ Living our lives
with a secret ♪

♪ We fit right in,
bet you'd never guess ♪

♪ Because we're living our lives
just like all the rest ♪

♪ A picture-perfect family
is what we try to be ♪

♪ But closer you might see
the crazy things we do ♪

♪ This isn't make-believe ♪

♪ It's our reality ♪

♪ Just your average family
trying to be normal ♪

♪ And stay out of trouble ♪

♪ Living a double life ♪

- All right, Nora.

Whoever scores this next point
is champion of the universe.

- And whoever loses has
to lick the driveway.

- Oh, no, it went
into Mrs. Wong's yard.

- I'll see
if I can find the ball.

You start kissing cement.

- Billy,
stop eating ants again.

- We lost another ball.

- Oh, don't worry,
your big sis will get it back.

Well, that was easy.

- Mom! Dad!

Mrs. Wong sent another ball
to ball heaven!

- Are you sure it was her?

- Yeah, she left
her mark on it.

- Somebody needs to change
that lady's diaper.

- You guys ever wondered
why Mrs. Wong is so mean?

- Huh-uh.
- Nope.

- I'm pretty sure
she's an actual witch.

- Think about it.

Have any of us ever stopped
to stay, "Hello, Mrs. Wong?"

Or "How's your day, Mrs. Wong?"

Or "Mrs. Wong,
would you like to come over

for some peach cobbler?"

- What is she saying?

- I don't know,
something about a cobbler.

- I'm saying maybe
if we were nice to Mrs. Wong

she'd be nice to us in return.

For example... oh,
what if we fix her fence?

- Honey, some people
are just grouches.

And it's best
to leave them alone.

Why'd you bring up cobbler?

Now I want cobbler.

- ♪

- MAX: Okay,
can I open them yet?

What's this
big anniversary surprise?

- A few more steps, and here.

- My anniversary gift
is a bunch of dweebs?

I hope you kept the receipt.

- This isn't a gift.

It's a prank-ter-vention.

All of the people you have hurt
are here to confront you

about your pranking problem.

- No, there's no way
this is all of them.

- Well, I'm not the only one

who doesn't like your pranking,
Max.

So you're going to sit down
and listen.

Evan, would you
like to go first?

- There's a thin line
between comedy and tragedy.

Aristotle once said--
- Skip to the last card.

- Max, your pranks are hurtful.
Please stop.

- They're just harmless jokes.

- You drew a permanent mustache
on Tonya Redecci.

- Yeah, and she looks
Redecci-ulous.

- And Howard never recovered
from that urinal incident.

- Oh, come on, grape juice

spraying out of the urinal
was funny.

- Thanks to you,
I have to run home to pee.

And sometimes...I don't make it.

- Dude, you're only
encouraging me.

All right, fine.

I had no idea how much my pranks
hurt all of you.

Sorry, guys.

How 'bout I give you some...

goodwill mints to make amends?

- I'm so proud of you, Max.

I didn't think
you'd be open to change,

but I guess I was wrong.

- [mumbling] It's a trap!

- ALL: [spitting]

- This was fun.
We should do more of these.

- Forget it. I'm done.

- Wait, what?
What are you talking about?

- I don't want to be with a guy

who hurts people
just for laughs.

Goodbye, Max.

- Hold on, hold on.

Okay, for you...

I'll give up pranking.

Seriously.

- Max Thunderman
is gonna give up pranking?

- Yes.

Let's shake on it.

- If I shake a fake hand,
so help me...

- ♪

- ♪ There is a hag
whose heart is cold ♪

- ♪ Her name is Wong,
and she's real old ♪

- All right, you guys
are kind of ruining

the whole let's be nice
to Mrs. Wong thing.

- Get out of my yard,
you tone-deaf hooligans.

- Put down the pan, Mrs. Wong.

We're just fixing your fence.

- Why?

- We also wonder that.

- We're just being neighborly.

- Uh, well, if you dummies
wanna work for free,

it's on your smelly heads.

- Cover me.

I'm torching this fence.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Guys, this is gonna work, okay?

After we're done, Mrs. Wong
will be the nicest neighbor

and no longer
look at us like that.

- ♪

- Have to break.

Have to break.

How can you do this to me,
Alison?

I can't take it.

- Calm down.

Here, maybe a blast
from the hose will cool you off.

- Okay. Hit me.

- [laughing]

- Not funny, Colosso.

I'm trying to quit pranking
once and for all.

I really like Alison.

And she's the only person

I look forward
to seeing every day.

- Are you trying to hurt me?

Because it's working.

- I just...

I don't wanna lose her.

- Well, if you're gonna quit
pranking,

you need to go out
with a big bang.

- You're right.

Just one last big prank,
get it out of my system.

And, Alison,
doesn't even have to know.

- Wait!

Let me wipe
that confetti off ya.

- Yeah, I'm not gonna
walk back over there

just so you can prank me again.

- COLOSSO: [laughing]

- ♪

- We bought new kickballs.

- What happened to you guys?

- Phoebe was wrong.

It doesn't feel good
to help others.

It hurts!

- No, you guys are wrong.

I'm positive she'll see
her fence is nicely painted

and give up her Wongy ways.

- [alarm sounding]

- THUNDER MONITOR:
Alert, alert.

Mrs. Wong approaching.

Activating porch lasers.

- No, Thunder Monitor, stop!

Who programed in lasers
for Mrs. Wong?

- Guilty, baby.

- [doorbell rings]

- Hello, my favorite neighbors.

- You know you're at
the Thundermans, right?

- Oh, Barbara, you're so funny.

I brought these treats

to thank your kids
for fixing my fence.

- Why, that was
very neighborly of you.

I hope we can do more things
together in the future.

- Oh, I agree.

In fact, I'm having
a party tomorrow,

and would love it
if all kids would come.

- We would love to, Mrs. Wong.

- Please, call me, Auntie Wong.

- If these are
as good as they look,

I'll call you whatever you want.

- I'll see you kids tomorrow
at : sharp.

- Well, look who was right
about Mrs. Wong.

You were, Phoebe.

Good job, Phoebe.

Thank you, Phoebe.

- ♪

- Time to head home
to the wife and kids.

If I say it enough times,
maybe it'll happen.

Oh.

Hello, free khakis.

[laughs] Huh?

Uoh!

- [laughing]

- Ah, ah!

You won't get away with this!

No one laughs at Tag Bradford!

- ALL: [laughing]

- Stop laughing!

Uh!

- ALL: [laughing]

- Then stop falling.

- What's going on?

- Uh, nothing.

Very uneventful morning.

- Someone pranked
Bradford hard.

- When I find the troublemaker
in the red hat who did this,

they are getting expelled!

Locker search!

Starting with, uh--oh,
I don't know--

Max Thunderman.

- You pranked Bradford?

- What would make you
think that?

- Because all you do is pranks.

And the real victim here is me

for believing
that you would quit.

- What, okay, hold on. Listen.

- No, I'm done
listening to you.

You're a liar
who can't be trusted.

- Aw, poor baby
lost his sweetheart.

Well, that rope
was the first thing

that held me in a year.

- You'll never find
that red hat in my locker.

But you will in my backpack.

- Oooh, free hat-zen.

- Locker's clean.

Now let's check your--[gasps]

You!

- Vou-scan?

- Pack your bags,
exchange student,

because you're going back
to Germany.

Oh wait, let me put this
in terms you can understand.

[speaking gibberish]

- ♪

- Wolfgang pranked Bradford?

Max, I--

- Can you give me a second?

I gotta go save my friend.

- Hat-zen not mine.

- Hey, Bradford!

How do you know
he didn't just find that hat?

He'd never buy it.

Look at his boxy face.

- His face is weird.

But he's wearing that hat,
so he's guilty.

I'm telling his host family
he's on the next bus to Germany.

- Achoo!
- Gesundheit.

- Watch your language,
filth mouth.

- Wolfgang, this is so sad.

Where are we gonna
get another drummer?

What? He doesn't know
what we're saying.

- Don't worry, buddy.

I will not let you get expelled
and sent back to Germany

over something I did... n't
see coming.

- Max-en plan-xen?

- Do I have a plan?

No.

But while I think of one,
you hide in my lair.

Can't send you away
if they can't find you.

- Danke.

- Ooh, okay.

Get it out of your system now,

because there's no hugging
in my lair.

- ♪

- All right, Thundermans,
let's start this par-tay.

In this yard that's emp-tay.

- Worst party ever.

- Maybe it's a surprise party.

- Surprise! I'm out of here.

- Whoa.

Relax, the new, happy Wong

just make a mistake
about the time.

- Howdy, neighbors.

- She said "howdy."

She's changed so much.

- Where is everyone?

You said : sharp.

- Did I?

[laughing] Silly me.

Everyone's coming at .

But since you're here,

how 'bout my favorite neighbors
help set up?

- You hear that, Phoebe?

We've been set up.

- Some par-tay, Phoe-bey.

- Relax, we're just here
a little early,

so she's having us help out.

It's not like
we're working the party.

Okay, we might be
working the party.

- ♪

- All clear!

All right, my parents
are at the movies,

so we should be safe
from Bradford here.

- Kielbasa?

- Well, that explains
why that dog chased us home.

- [doorbell rings]

- That could be him.

- Dog?

- No, Bradford.

You should go to my lair.

He won't be able
to find you there.

- Wee-zen!

- Oh, and stay away
from my rabbit.

He doesn't like people.

Whoo.

Alison? What are you doing here?

- I came to apologize
for blaming you

for doing that prank.

- Oh, don't give it
a second thought.

Thanks for stopping by.

- Well, I just feel so bad
for calling you a liar.

I mean, I should have
trusted you.

[sniffing]

Do I smell sausage?

- My dad's
a cured meat enthusiast.

- Well, I believe that.

Anyway, clearly,
I'm the one with the problem.

I mean, after all the trouble
you went through to change,

I have to be better for you.

I'm sorry.

Do you forgive me?

- Oooh, cursed
your trusting eyes.

I can't do this.

I'm the one
who pranked Bradford.

- What?

- Now they're angry eyes.

Okay, I tried to give up pranks
cold turkey.

But it was just too hard.

So I did one last prank,
then Wolfgang got blamed.

- So...you let your friend
take the fall,

and then you lied to me?

- Yes, but in my defense,

I am hiding him from Bradford
in my lair.

- WOLFGANG: [singing in German]

- I'm sorry.

I finally understand
what you're trying to say.

But it took someone getting hurt
for it to finally sink in.

- I showed you a room full
of people who got hurt by you.

- I meant someone I care about.

The point is...

I never wanna prank again.

- [banging at door]

- BRADFORD: Open up, Thunderman!

- It's Bradford.

- BRADFORD: I know
Wolfgang is in there.

I got a call from some guy
named Dr. Colosso.

- ♪

- Tell me, Mrs. Wong, why should
the PTA board hire you

to supply the school
with hot lunches?

- I can tell you
it has nothing to do

with all the money
you're offering.

[laughing]

I've always loved children,
and they love me.

Why else would they help
their Auntie Wong

with this party?

- Guys... Mrs. Wong is using us

to look good
in front of the PTA.

You guys are right,
she'll be never be nice.

- Look who's finally
on the obvious train.

You, you!

- I deserve that.

Now let's give Wong
what she deserves.

The PTA thinks she loves kids.

Let's show them
the real Mrs. Wong.

Billy, super speed home
and grab us some balls.

- On it.

Hold the crab cakes.

- Crabs make bad cake.

- All right.

Uh, Auntie Wong, can we please
take a break to go play?

- A break?

That makes it sound like
you're working,

which clearly she isn't.

Go play, go.

Exercise and sunshine

are so important
for growing children.

- [bang]

- Sorry, Mrs. Wong.

- Kids will be kids.

- Yes, they will.

Anyway, I prefer to be paid
with a comically large check.

- [splash]

- Careful, you...

adorable children.

I will give you
so many hugs later.

- We almost have her.

Let's cr*ck this Wong.

- Uh! Ow!

Children, you must be more--ow!

Ah!

That's it!

You Thundermans
are horrible creatures!

I'll destroy you
and your little balls, too!

Ugh!

- You're the horrible one,
Mrs. Wong.

You obviously have no patience
with children,

and you will not
be getting this job.

- Uh.

Oh, no.

Come back.

You don't have to like children
to feed them.

- ♪

- BRADFORD: Open up, Thunderman.

- I'm sorry, Alison,
this is all my fault.

I'll go confess to Bradford.

- No, Max, stop.

I wanted you to learn your
lesson about pranking,

not get expelled.

- BRADFORD: Give me the boy!

- Okay, don't get
all angry eyes on me.

But I could prank Bradford
to get rid of him.

I've got this whole house rigged

in case my family
turns against me.

- Absolutely not.

Pranking has never solved
anything.

- BRADFORD: Is that Alison?

I see her stupid bike
made out of recycled cans!

- Prank him, Max!

Prank sad Tad Bradford

back to the storage unit
he calls home!

- You've never been
more beautiful to me.

Activate prank mode.

- [machine whirring]

- Step only where I step.

- BRADFORD: I'm coming in.

Ahhhhhh!

Ah!

- Bradford,
what a pleasant surprise.

Sorry, but Wolfgang isn't here.

- I know you're hiding him.

I'm officially
using the authority

of the order of principals
to search this house.

- Not sure that's a thing,
but help herself.

- Well, okay--oooh.

- Sorry about that,

my brother Billy's
quite the prankster.

- [in high-pitched voice] Great,

another Thunderman
to look forward to.

Ahh!

- That should get him
out of here.

- [laughs]

- [heavy breathing]

Ah-ha!

- [whispers]
Unless he finds my lair.

- A secret passage.

[sniffs].

Ugh, smells like
Hansel and Sweat-el down there.

[laughing]

Ah!

Uh.

- I already told you
he's not down here.

- Then explain
those German sausages.

- My dad's
a cured meat enthusiast.

- Well, I believe that.

All right, I guess
Wolfgang isn't here.

Achoo.

- Gesundheit.

- There you are, filth mouth.

- No, you don't!

- Oh, no.

Oh, ah!

[moaning]

- Those weenies won't hold him
for long, run!

- We can hide Wolfgang
at my house.

- What are you doing?

- My squeezy mustard!

Nein!

- Gotcha!

Now pull me out of this thing.

- Bradford,
you can't expel Wolfgang.

- Expel him?

I'm not expelling him.

- He really likes it here
and--wait, what?

- That's right.

While filing
his expulsion papers,

I learned the school
gets $ , a month

for every exchange student
enrolled.

- Wolfgang?

- That's right.

This little ray
of German sunshine is my ticket

to a bigger storage locker.

I mean apartment.

- ALL: Wolfgang!

- Come on, kid,
tell me about your host family.

They, uh--they got
an extra room?

- Well, that was close.

Come on, I owe you
a real anniversary dinner.

- So, uh, what did you think
of my prank down there?

- Well, it wasn't
so much a prank

as it was
flinging meat at a guy,

but, hey, not everyone's
a born prankster like me.

- I guess you're right.

- ♪

- ♪