03x23 - Stealing Home

[bunniefuu]

- Okay, Thunder fam.

Everybody get excited because
we are all going to--

- Japan?
- Spain?

- Narnia?

- Even better.

We're going shoe shopping!

- Oh, you guys
are gonna have to go

without me and Phoebe.

We have superhero training
in the house today.

- Training in the hiz-house.

Yeah. I won't do that again.

- I thought you guys
already finished

this week's training.

- Yes, but we have
bonus training.

- Yeah, this one's an elective
extra credit session

where I get to learn how to--
- Ugh, we got it, super nerd.

- Max, where are you going?

- Oh, I have training, too.

Band training.

Working on a new song
called Later Losers!

You'll hear it later... losers.

- Okay. Well, everybody who's
not training head to the car.

- I'm buying some shoes-oos.

- And that's how you do it.

- Now, Phoebe.

Today's bonus training
requires focus and hard work...

which is why
we're at the movies instead.

- I can movie hiz-house--

And, technically,
we're still training.

A time to field test
your food tossing abilities.

- Direct hit.

- Shh!

- We're training here!
- We're training here!

- ♪

- ♪ What you see
is not what you get ♪

♪ Living our lives
with a secret ♪

♪ We fit right in,
bet you'd never guess ♪

♪ Because we're living our lives
just like all the rest ♪

♪ A picture-perfect family
is what we try to be ♪

♪ But closer you might see
the crazy things we do ♪

♪ This isn't make-believe ♪

♪ It's our reality ♪

♪ Just your average family
trying to be normal ♪

♪ And stay out of trouble ♪

♪ Living a double life ♪

- When I heard they were making
a movie out of a board game,

I had my doubts.

But those hippos
sure were hungry.

- And the best part is,

Mom will never know
we left the house.

Unless she sees
we've been robbed.

Please tell me
you moved all the furniture.

- Do you really think
I would do housework

unless I was forced?

- No. How are we gonna fix this
before Mom gets home?

- That's the next part
of your training, Phoebe.

You're gonna figure out
how to fix this

before Mom gets home.

And... go.

- Whoa.

- Why does it look the old west
puked on Splatburger?

- Yippee-ki-yay, Thunder-dorks.

Are you here for the contest?

- For least likely to pull off
the cowboy look?

'Cause, you already won.

- No, Barbara.

I'm having a contest to promote
my new Southwest burger.

Whoever keeps their hand
on a cactus the longest wins.

- You'd have to be a real
sad sack to sign up for that.

- The winner stars
in a Splatburger commercial.

- ALL: We're in.

- Good. This might be
your family's only sh*t

at being in a commercial.

They don't usually let
ugly people on TV.

- She's right, guys.

This is once-in-a-lifetime
opportunity

for ugos like us.

- But Wong only said
the last person standing

is the winner.

- Well, that's okay.

We're a family.

If one of us wins, we all win.

- Attention.

We're starting,
you pathetic fame seekers.

Put your hands on a cactus.

Don't worry,
I had the needles removed.

- Ow!

- Oh! Guess I missed a few!
[laughs]

You're out, pigtails.

- I can't believe
they took the couch.

I spent years carving out
the perfect butt groove.

- Oh. I wonder if

the Thunder monitor
saw anything.

- "Thanks for the TV"?

What about the pizza
that was inside that box?

This is the worst day
of my life.

- Yeah? It's gonna get
a lot worse when mom finds out

we lied to her about training
and let someone steal

all of our insanely
bright colored furniture.

- Whoa. Where's all our stuff?

- Son, we were robbed.

And, yes, they took the pizza.

Animals!

- But that's impossible.

You guys were home training
all day.

- Yes.
Because that was not a lie.

- [sniffing]

- Why does it smell
like movie popcorn?

- T-t-t-that's not popcorn.

That's dad's cologne.

- It's a butter-based
European scent.

Labouteire.

- Stop it,
I saw you two at the movies!

- Fine, Max. You busted us.

But we've got a bigger problem.

We've gotta find the thief
that stole our stuff.

- You're looking at him.

You don't want Mom to bust you,

but for you
to get your furniture back,

you have to become
my personal assistants.

- He's got us, Phoebe.

- All right.

Well, hey, at least he's not
making us wear weird outfits.

- Oh, you have a run
in your pantyhose.

- I'm not wearing pantyhose.

- Silence, servants!

Phoebe you're my butler,
so make my bed.

Chop, chop!

Move your butt... ler!

- And how about
some fresh paper, Chantel?

That's my new name for you.

Ah-ah, I want it shredded...
like your dignity.

- Mommy, I'm hungry.

- Okay, well you can eat, honey.

We just can't let go
of this cactus.

So just press the buttons
and order for yourself.

- I can get anything I want?

- [tablet bleeping]

- So much power.

- Okay, everyone.

Raise your hand
if you're having fun.

[laughing] You dummies are out!

- Mrs. Wong just eliminated
most of our competition.

We're in the final four.

- All we have to do
is outlast that guy.

- I am not just any guy.

I am professional
commercial actor Raul.

- [guitar playing]

- Did you guys hear that guitar?

- That is my cousin.

I pay him
to follow me everywhere.

His name is Gustavo.

- [guitar playing]

- That is Gustavo's cousin.

We are a very talented family.

- [guitar playing]

- Ready to win the contest,
Raul?

- What do you mean?

Any one of us
could win the contest.

- Fat chance, Barbara.

Raul's going to win.

He's been training
for months for this.

- My calves are like
the trunk of the mighty redwood

that peppers the Cali coast.

- Ah.
- [guitar plays]

- You may have
rigged the contest

with a guy whose calves
can cr*ck a walnut.

- Gracias, chiquita.

- But the Thundermans will not
go down without a fight.

- Fine. Waste your time.

But Raoul will be
the last man standing,

because
he's a certified beefcake.

- It's true.

- [guitar playing]

- This is gonna be hard, guys.

I'm a beefcake,
but I'm not certified.

- Great job, ponies. Break!

Silence!

- We didn't say anything.

- You're breathing too loud.

- Okay. Look, Max.

We played
all your stupid little games,

now just tell us
where you put all our stuff.

- I can't believe
that two of the best superheroes

in the world couldn't find

their own furniture
under their noses...

in the garage.

- It's empty!

- "It's empty."

It's empty!

Guys, our stuff
is really stolen.

Animals!

- Max!

Where is all our furniture?

- Uh, it's right there.

- I'll get him.

Thunderman, away!

- Ow, ow, ow, ow,
ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.

Now where was that hustle
when I was on the rickshaw?

- Okay, somebody else
must have known

the stuff was here.

Did anyone help you
move it into the garage?

- Yeah, but it was someone
I trust.

My buddy Chainsaw.

- You mean Chainsaw
the seven-foot thief

who stole our microwave?

- No, trust me. It wasn't him.

He's given up his life of crime.

He just opened a coffee shop
called Game Of Scones.

- Guys...
your mom will be home soon.

We gotta go down there and see
if Chainsaw has our stuff.

- Fine. To the rickshaw!

No?

I miss having servants.

- RABBIT: I'll serve you!

- Not looking
like that you won't.

- Oh. But it's okay
when your dad wears it.

- Come on.

- Wait, take me with you!

Humans!

- Senorita Wong,

this massage feels like
a thousand butterflies

dancing on the perfectly
sculpted back of Raoul.

- [guitar playing]

- It's not fair.

Mrs. Wong is playing dirty.

We need to play dirty too.

- Nora.

Two Wongs don't make a right.

Yeah I said it.

The Thundermans always play
by the rules.

- What are you looking at,
mom jeans?

- [laughing]

- Okay.
Now it's on like donkey wong.

Yeah, I said that too!

- [static zapping]

- My back! My beautiful back!

- He took his hand off!

- You ruined my commercial,
you handsome idiot.

- Aye! No need to shove!

Gustavo and Gustavo's cousin
will play me out.

- [guitar playing]

- We did it!

Okay, you guys
can take your hands off

and let me win now.

- Let you win?

This uncertified beefcake
is gonna win.

- Yeah, right.
That commercial is mine.

That's right.

The bow came off.

Be afraid, people.

- But I have to win.

I'm the only one
with any acting experience

thanks to my hit
Electriss medical drama

Super Strong Medicine.

- We're losing him, doctor!

- Not on my watch!

Dr. Electriss will fix this.

Clear!

- [static zapping]
- Urgh.

- Now that's
some super strong medicine.

- [applause]

- I guess we have
a three-way stand-off.

- Mom, you should go check on
Chloe like a good parent.

- Nice try.

Chloe, honey, are you okay?

- Never better, baby.

- [tablet bleeping]

- Look! It's all our stuff.

- Okay, hold on.

Maybe Chainsaw just has

the same taste in furniture
as us.

- [monitor bleeping]
- MONITOR: Alert. Alert.

Today's special is a half café,
no whip macchiato.

- Okay, I see it now.

- That must be Chainsaw.

I'll handle this.

- Listen, Bub, you can't just--

Ooh, are those
cran-orange scones?

- Chainsaw, give us back
the stuff you stole.

- I didn't steal nothing.

- Our family portrait
is on the wall!

- You told me you were
getting rid of this stuff

for a garage sale.

- But you still took it all
without paying.

- I slipped a green envelope
full of fat cash

through your basement window.

- Did you say green envelope?

- RABBIT: I want it shredded,
like your dignity.

- I'll shred you.

- That's the stuff. Yeah.

- Yeah, that money's gone.

- Then the furniture stays.

- Hey!

That's my wedding china!

- [plate breaks]
- Oops.

- This is all your fault.

You just had to mess with me
and dad, didn't you?

- I should have done it sooner.

I've seen you guys use
bonus training as an excuse

to ride bikes,
play mini golf and scuba dive.

- Wait a second.

Have you been following us
everywhere?

- What? No.

I just happen to be
at all those places

and the basketball game
where you guys hit

the neigh-neigh
on the jumbo trunk.

- You have been following us.

Wait.

Are you jealous that I've been
spending so much time with Dad?

Aww, you miss your daddy.

- Miss my daddy?

Like I'd even hit
the whip and neigh-neigh

with that goober.

- Get your boney hipster heinys
out of my butt groove.

- Hey!

Seating tight in here.

If you wanted somewhere to sit,

you should have bought
a bigger couch.

- Whoo.

- Hold on. I think I just
thought of a way out of this.

Yo, Chainsaw!

I see you're pressed for space.

Why don't we have ourselves
a little contest.

If we win,
we get all of our furniture back

and if you win--
- You get our house.

- HANK: Huh?

- I was gonna volunteer

to have Dad
take down a few walls.

- Oh, I like her idea better.

- Too late.

I want your house.

- The only way
I'll agree to this

is if we get to pick
the challenge.

- What are you thinking?

Bare knuckle boxing?

Kn*fe fight?

- Or... something
a little less prison-y.

Uh, like, food tossing.

- Fools.

Food toss
is the number-one prison game.

My daughter and I play it
every day.

Yo, Hacksaw!

Hit me!

- Should have gone Kn*fe fight.

- Wow.

You guys have been at this
for a long time.

Betcha have to go
to the bathroom.

- Nope.

My second super power
is bladder control.

I haven't peed since February.

- I'm surprised you don't
have to go, Mom.

You've had a lot of water.

- No, I haven't.

- Oh, well, you're about to.

- [lasers zapping]
- [water splashing]

- Oh! You'll pay for that.

Actually, let me pay all--

- [static zapping]
- --charges.

- I never noticed how different
your hair looks without a bow.

- What in the name
of casual dining have you done?

- I couldn't decide.

- ALL: Chloe!

- We were so worried
about winning the contest,

we left Chloe all alone.

- Thundermans,
clean up this mess,

we have a commercial to sh**t!

- We?
- Yeah.

You all let go at the same time,
so you losers win.

- [laughing]
- Thank you!

But what are we gonna do
with all this food?

- Fear not, chiquita.

- [guitar playing]

- I am as hungry
as I am handsome.

- [guitar playing]

- Okay. You and I
are gonna save our house.

Practice toss.

- Ow.

Sorry, got distracted by Max.

- Phoebe, whatever Max is doing
won't matter

if we're living in a van
down by the river.

- It's just, he won't admit it,
but I think Max is bummed

that you guys
don't hang out as much as we do.

- What? We hang out.

I mean just last week we... oh.

Well, there was the time
where--oh.

We just neigh-neighed
at the basketball game.

- That was us.

- Oh. We really don't hang out.

How did this happen?

He probably thinks I'm a goober.

- You?

No.

- Ah, I know what you're
trying to tell me.

Max.

Phoebe's out. You're in.

- What? That's not what I meant.

You guys really need
to let me finish my thoughts.

- You want me to do this
with you?

- Of course!

I love eating,
you love throwing things at me.

We're the dream team.

- All right, food toss.

Street rules.

You make a sh*t,
the other team has to match it.

Crybabies go first.

- Oh, no fair.
We wanna go first!

Oh, we're the crybabies.

All right.

Okay, Max.

- See if you can handle
this hook sh*t.

- [applause]

- In your face!

That is to say, you're up.
I'm sorry.

- [applause]

- Enough of the baby stuff.

Next sh*t,
over the shoulder backwards.

- [applause]

- Okay, here it comes, dad.

- [applause]

- You got lucky.

When we win,
I'm turning your bedroom

into a lair where I can do
all my evil stuff.

- Yeah?

It'll be easier than you think.

- Uh, guys.

I can't be
the protector of Hiddenville,

if I don't live in Hiddenville.

- This is a bad idea.

You should be doing this
with Phoebe.

You guys are better at this.

- No, son.

This is you and me.

I mean, what are they?

A father/daughter team?

We're a father/son team.

That's way better!

- I'm just gonna assume
that's the scones talking.

- This is our time.

You pick the sh*t,
I will have your back.

- Okay, Dad.

Let's go whip
their neigh-neighs!

- Should have just gone
shoe shopping.

- Ooh! What about
your couch butt groove?

You've worn out all the springs
except one.

- Milton, the most stubborn
spring of them all.

Great idea, Max.

- Guess I should start
saying goodbye to all our stuff.

Goodbye, chairs.

Goodbye, penguin butler.

- Okay. We call the sh*t.

Off my dad's butt groove.

Nothing but [unintelligible].

- Done. We'll even go first.

I've gotta get home
and feed my bats.

- Come on, Hacks.

You're a disgrace
to the Saw family name.

- Don't blame me.

The old man's butt
crushed that cushion's soul.

- Not all of it.

Aim for Milton.

- ♪

- [cheering]

- Why are you people cheering?

Now you have no place to sit.

- That's my boy!

All right, guys.
Let's go home.

- And sit on?

- Oh right, the furniture.

- Yeah.

- Mom! The Splatburger
commercial is coming on.

Come on.

- Why does the couch
smell like coffee?

- Oh, shh, it's starting!

- MRS. WONG: [on telly] Yee-ha!

How good is Splatburger's
new Southwest burger?

Well, just ask
these little piggies.

- [pigs snorting]

- I can't believe it.

- I know.

We're famous!

- ♪