01x02 - Day Two

[bunniefuu]

- Aww, no, it was Highbank you d*ck!

- No, it was South Dickbrain, it was Southbound Festival.

We were supporting The Prodigy Just tell the f*ckin' story.

We were all setup and announced and I'm just about to plug in, and Toby's amp goes over like the twin towers, and all this beer just goes in the cables, and Wildy's just, like I get the microphone and just start singing and I get this electric shock

- In my f*cking face.

Toby reckons

- I saw a little lightning bolt! And the first noise that comes out, on microphone in front of 8

- Mother cunting Jesus shitfuck!

- Mother cunting Jesus shitfuck.

So I thought we'd call our next album m*therf*cking Jesus Shitfuck.

Guys, this is Suzie.

This is the guys, this is my little brother Oh, Suzie! Primary school teacher Suzie.

Holy sh*t! - I think my brother's got a crush on you

- That's convenient!

- Do you want a beer?

- Sure.

We have to go.

So stoked you're here.

I am also thrilled you came.

You're very welcome.

Drink, drink, drink You took me dancing on a Saturday night I got a feeling you're feeling all right Rolled up to a bar, got out of the car Turn up the music and turn down the lights Later she'll be getting all flirty Hitching her skirt, she'll be singing Boy, gonna make love to ya Let the life run though ya Gonna make you come for the law Gonna make you sing for the lord Gonna take you to Heaven Turn it up to eleven Wah! Arghh!! You f*cking fell asleep! Pull over! No, I'm awake, I'm awake.

I'm fine ROO!!

- Who the f*ck's ?

- Pull the f*ck over! Jesus! Haven't you ever driven outside of the city? It's like the one rule: you never swerve.

If you swerve for an animal roll your car, and then you're f*cked.

You're better off just hitting it.

Then again when roos are about to be hit, they jump.

Then they end up coming through the windscreen,

- then they kick you to death in panic

- No, you are God-damn kidding me!

- What?

- Right, we have to go to a doctor.

Why? Because, if we don't, I might deliberately drive into an oncoming car,

- just to shut you up!

- Oh, wonderful! Great! Yippee! I always wanted to go on a holiday with a drug addict! I'm not a drug addict, and this is not a holiday Wahey! What are you doing? You're not driving.

No, but Now! Change it.

Second, not reverse! Second! Okay, that's fourth.

Oh, my gosh! Woo! Okay, third.

- You are so bad at this!

- Just, shut up!

- Oh, we're back in fourth

- I know, I'm just You are freaking me out.

Will you shut the up.

I'll leave fourth to you.

I know fourth's your favourite.

Aw Proud of you! Look at the road.

Look at the friggin' road! It's not funny.

I'm gonna swing, from the chandelier From the chandelier! No no no! We're having a sing-along.

It's not hip-hop, you'll love it.

I'm gonna swing from the chandelier From the chandelier! And I'm just holding on for tonight Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo Oh my God! We are stopping! Oh sh*t.

- Why?

- It's a pink lake!

- We are not stopping.

- Third.

Quick! Third, yes.

- Yes, we are.

- Meg, we are not stopping.

- Hey hey hey hey, no.

No! Meg - This is amazing! No! I'm not joking! Hey! Can you Come back you little sh - Give me the f'king keys.

- No.

Ow! I've got a busted arm, you bully! Give me the fu You're such a child.

Look at it! It's pink for miles.

What do you reckon makes it like that? It's flamingo sh*t, I reckon.

What, is it like a breast cancer thing? You feel better? Come on, you've seen it.

Let's go.

Look! Wanna see the lake part.

Swim? - Meg? We're going.

- What? To get your Methadone? - It's not methadone! - Or the pills for your hair! You're going bald, y'know.

Or it's that, or you've got like a massive forehead.

- Maybe a bit of both - Look, I am going home to to see my family for the first time in years, and the prospect was giving me panic att*cks.

All right? So I went to a doctor and he gave me some pills, and I lost my pills, largely thanks to you, so, we're going to Port Augusta to get some more.

I'm a very grown adult man.

I'm doing the rules uh-huh.

Aha! Did you just give me the rude finger? What are you? Eight? - I will leave without you! - It's my Ute! Is Port Augusta pink? If it's not pink, we're not stopping.

That's the new rule.

Click! Click! Click! So, tell me.

What are your present symptoms? Ah sleeplessness, anxiety umm Bitchiness, can't drive, he hate pink lakes woah! Okay you see? Now he's lost his mind! You know, I err I have to tell you I I, err, really don't like these these benzos, Zanax, Vallium You become dependant.

No, I I'm only going to take them this week.

As soon as I get to Perth, I'm going to stop.

No you won't.

I've been to Perth.

If you're driving lost distances, it's very bad.

- Yes, but I've been - I think that maybe you should try this.

Mindfulness? Mindfulness?! When you are feeling stressed, you take a sensory inventory of your environment.

Sensory What you see, and feel what you hear.

Meg! Will you just sit down? Just Sorry umm.

Sensory inventory.

May I have a look at your wrist, please? - Wanna sign it? - How did you do it? - Swimming.

- Playing netball.

Do you mind if I have a moment alone with her? Why? It's just for a minute.

It's kind of like a swimming and netball combo, so it's exactly like netball except in a pool, so, you know? Hoops at both ends, but, you don't wear skirts.

Obviously.

Did he hurt you? No.

Is he your father? Why do you care? I'm 16.

I can hang out with whoever I like.

- Yeah erm.

- What are you gonna do? Are you gonna call Family and Children Services? I'm just asking if you are OK.

Is that a Milky Bar? You want one? Yes! Please yes.

Okay.

You're supposed to buy these for charity, but today is your lucky day.

Freebie.

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you so much.

You are a legend! Where the hell did "swimming" come from? - I thought you broke it playing netball.

- Well, I broke it in a car crash.

Yes, but our story was netball.

You made me look like some kind of weird, deranged - Well, you are pretty deranged! - Yeah, well you're a Did did you ? When Yeah, anything to stop you being such a whiny little bitch! Come on! Gogogogogogogogo D.I.A.Z.E.P.A.M.

- N? - No, M! For "moose-fucker".

And it's 5mg.

Where do I sign? Does this say "Dr.

d*ck Cheese"? - Yep! - You are relentless.

Thanks! I don't know what that means.

Woah woah woah woah woah! Nononononono! I've just got a quick script.

Please, it'll take you 2 minutes, honestly.

- Sorry! - What? No it says it's open Sundays.

Yep! Only one in town.

People were a bit funny about it at first, but it's been very popular.

- Yeah, but it's not, is it? - It's not what? It's not open.

Yeah, but the showdown So, obviously! You have got to be joking! I don't think she's joking.

Back at 4! Do you like football ? Promise I'll pay you back.

Saturday afternoon and, err the doctors are down .

So I, umm Well, I thought I'd send you a video.

Because, I don't know, you might watch it.

Miracles happen.

What are you doing? Your boyfriend texted you.

- Don't touch that! - I'm just texting him back! No! It's not funny, Meg! - Christ, you're a pain.

- Give me He seems like a d*ck.

He's just He's he's my brother.

He's just your brother? Why haven't you been home in so long? I just never It was just never the right You're f*cking kidding me! What the hell do you think you're doing, you Go! Here ya go girl! A pint of South Australia's finest.

Thank you.

No, thank you! Come on! Move, move.

Tackle him! Oh! The very own Billy Joel.

You're very gifted.

Come on, sit down, sit down! Oh, come on! Come on, tackle him! I didn't know you were into football.

I knew about netball and swimming.

No, we're just having lunch, and then we're gonna go straight back on the road.

Oh.

This is my wife Armeena.

Have some chips.

The best in town! - Aisha.

- Hi.

This is Bob.

We're all very embarrassed.

He goes for the Pies.

Totally ashamed, huh? High.

How is that now high? Do you wanna play pool? Yes! - Can I have some money? - Yes, yes.

Go on, have some fun.

You've got legs run! Go for the ball! Come on! That's what I'm talking about.

Oh! Bless you Bob.

Sorry about that Mr Flynn.

Pie supporters.

What are you gonna do? You're so good.

Now, just don't look at the white ball.

Look at the point you're trying to hit.

Ah, sorry madam! Aren't you girls a bit young to be in a pub? Aren't you pin-dicks a bit old for dress-ups? dear, you need to come home.

- Sorry, you're empty there Liberace.

- Okay, thanks.

Are you okay? Lucky.

Do you need some water? Maybe a water would be good.

You seem very stressed.

Yeah, I did mention that.

Have you eaten today? Have some chips, come on.

I don't want any chips, thank you.

Ah, bloody hell, Bob! No, don't don't don't! That's just a receipt.

Does this say "d*ck Cheese"? sh*t! You know this is illegal, don't you? Stealing a prescription? You know I have a duty of care to everyone who comes to my clinic, you understand? Yeah.

So how do I know you can look after that girl? Me look after You should be worried about me, mate.

She's indestructible, dude! - What the actual f*ck? - Just give me back my money.

She wouldn't take it off the table.

Okay, yeah! Like I'd seriously steal a dollar coin! I wouldn't know how to steal a prescription, even if it entered my head.

She took it.

I don't even know how she did.

I think she's an actual witch.

- I'm not trying to argue with you - She's like a tiny little Terminator.

She's a teenager.

She can't be expected to look after herself.

f*ck you! Argh! You little bitch! Mindfulness, Mr.Flynn.

Mindfulness! All right, Dwayne Johnson.

Out we go.

This way! Lucky! Hurry up, dickhead! Gogogogogogo! Jesus Christ, Meg.

What the hell were you thinking? They ruined a perfectly good game of pool.

Oh I've never punched anyone before.

You call that a punch? Ha! Do you reckon they could've followed us? Dunno.

Could've.

What are you doing? Listening.

You can hear what's coming, if you know what you're listening for.

Do you?

- What?

- Know what you're listening for? No.

But it's warm.

My mum's dying.

You can hear that?