01x04 - Day Four

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Upright". Aired: 28 November 2019 –; present.*
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Australian series follows the story of Lucky and Meg, who are trying to get an upright piano across the country.
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01x04 - Day Four

Post by bunniefuu »

Lucky! Start the car! They've got my wallet!

- LUCKY: How much did they take?

- MEG: All of it.

- What are you so happy about?

- I got my wallet back, didn't I? That's Matty, my brother.

He turns 20, this week actually.

Suzie.

Thank you for rescuing my big brother from a life of half-remembered fucks in cheap motels.

Oop, he's up.

[WHISPERS]

You should be ashamed of yourself.

How much fuel did you put in this? Oh, sh*t.

It's a diesel, isn't it?

LUCKY: Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck! It was the Conscious Living Expo.

Have you heard of it?

TOGETHER: No! Oh, well, Lachlan was at the conference centre too.

I was playing background piano for an accounting firm's awards dinner.

Oh! Sweet gig, mate.

And I saw him at the end of the night, carrying his little keyboard,

- and his speaker thingy.

- Amp.

and I could just tell that he had lower-back pain.

And so I asked him: "Do you have lower-back pain?"

- and he said

- And I said yes.

And so I said, well, come into the clinic! And here we are!

- Oh, that's so sweet.

- Clinic? Which clinic? Oh, Bloom Health in Subie.

We offer a range of healing services.

Cupping, extractions, dermal fillers for those pesky crows feet.

Pesky indeed! Please, everyone.

Tuck in! It's Nigella's sticky dates.

This is amazing.

Suzie makes this.

Oh, wow! So, umm.

Lucky tells me you guys have a band.

Dog umm.

TOBY: Yeah Dog Swamp.

Yeah.

We had a band.

We don't practice so much anymore, do we? No, 'cos some of us have to live in the real world, unfortunately.

JEN: Yes, Toby's a Project Manager up north.

Fly in, fly out.

- SUZIE: He's away a lot, but it pays well.

- LUCKY: That's the main thing, isn't it? Distance makes the heart go fonder.

- Yeah.

- Absolutely.

LUCKY: Project Manager sounds really important, but every time he explains it to me, I'm like, I dunno! What is this? Yeah, well, better to be a successful Project Manager than a washed-up cocktail pianist.

That's what I always say!

- He does.

He always says that.

- Always.

- Arrogant!

- He's not arrogant, you're just trying too hard.

I'm not trying too hard! I was just waving.

This is trying too hard.

- How are you 23?

- Yeah, you're on 6.

3 cars, 1 Ute.

Although I don't think the Ute should've counted, because I reckon he was just picking his nose.

Okay, your turn.

Go! Nope.

Nothing.

[LAUGHS]

[PASSING CAR TOOTS ITS HORN]

- Nooo! That's ridiculous!

- Ohhh, yes!

- Yes.

24 - This is bollocks.

This is rigged.

- MEG: Lookout!

- What?

- Yes!

- No!

- Why not?

- Too bad, mate.

We're going where they're going.

- No!

- Yes!

- No! What is she

- Yes! Thank you lesbo Nanas!

- Lookout, here we come!

- This is You're like a witch.

What's the err plan here? I think we're gonna stop here for the night, love.

- Really? I think you guys were going all

- My sciatica's being a bastard.

Pretty though, eh? Y eah.

You don't think you might wanna just stay for an hour,

- and then get back on the

- Bunny's called it.

Fancy a home-brew?

- MEG: Can I have a sit?

- BUNNY: I think that's a great idea.

WOMAN: This your piano? Yeah,

- Do you play?

- No, not really.

You heading east or west? West, to Perth.

Ah! We're Perthlings, we're heading east.

It's Will's first big road trip, isn't it Will? Will.

Will.

Will.

I could literally be on fire.

- Hey.

Frankie.

- Meg.

- That's Will.

- Lucky.

Stupid name for a grown man.

FRANKIE: So, are you travelling with the whole family? Oh, Christ no.

That's Bunny and Phyllis.

They were meant to be towing us to a mechanic Yeah, but Bunny's sciatica's being a bastard, so Oh, bugger.

Do you know what's wrong with it? - I think she's just old.

- She meant the Ute.

- I knows she's [SIGHS]

- Oh, that's you being funny? Yeah, we were in a hurry at the last petrol station, and I accidentally put a few litres of, umm - MAN: What's up? - Ah, these guys have got car trouble.

- Ah! Benj.

- Hi, Lucky.

We accidentally put some BUNNY: Put petrol in a diesel.

[LAUGHS]

Thank you, Bunny! BENJ: Bugger! - So we just need to get - BENJ: Big Mike! get to the nearest town as quickly as possible, - 'cos we're in a bit of a hurry to - MIKE: S'up? Hi.

Lucky to get to Perth, because - BENJ: Petrol in a diesel.

- MIKE: Aww diesel! FRANKIE: You reckon you can fix it? MIKE: Oh, yeah, with time to the site.

- What site? - FRANKIE: We just set up a few Ks back.

It's a really gorgeous spot, actually.

Isn't it? - Stunning.

- Divine.

That's amazing.

Thank you! MIKE: No worries.

I'll get you hooked up.

Hey, Caro! Thanks! What happened to Meg? Did you see where she went? Ah, no.

Will? LUCKY: Ah.

Thanks Will.

Thank you! Woah! Woah sh*t.

Meg? Meg.

Can you come away from there? What are you doing? - We're on the edge of Australia.

- Yeah, I'm aware of that.

Like, I could sit right here and dangle my legs off the actual edge of Australia.

Okay, yeah, but could you not? These guys are waiting for us.

Can we go please? Can you please just come away from the edge? Now? I've only seen the ocean twice.

- Seriously? - Yeah.

Once when I was 10 with Dad and Matty, and once on a school excursion.

LUCKY: We are not staying.

The quicker we get out of here, the better.

MEG: Come on.

It might be cool.

LUCKY: Perth people are not cool.

All they wanna talk about is how the rest of the country owes them more respect.

and how the city centre's really taking off.

MEG: Woah LUCKY: Holy sh*t! - Oh ho yeah, that's petrol! - Yeah, but what year? LUCKY: Thank you so much for helping me with this.

I wouldn't have a clue.

FRANKIE: Hey, why don't you two have a drink? Make yourself at home.

There's, like, soft drink in there, and there's food everywhere.

Oh, and Will's in the van.

He's got marshmallows.

You said Perth people were boring, Dad.

I didn't I didn't I didn't say that! I said come the Dockers! Right.

Beverage.

Err, yeah, I'll have one.

We do have to get going before Do you want beer? - Err, wine? - What colour? Red.

Unless it's Pinot, in which case beer.

- FRANKIE: Beaverloop.

- LUCKY: Beaverloop! - Yeah? - Good one.

FRANKIE: Adam Said Galore, Jebediah, when they were just babies LUCKY: Circus Murders, Cinema Prague they were masters, - Effigy.

Storytime? - The instrumentals, yeah.

- BOTH: Spank! - Aw, what was her name? The lead singer? Sascha Ion.

I wanted to be Sascha Ion so bad, when I was at uni.

I cut my actually cut my hair into a little bob.

and I wore Op Shop slips with cherry Doc Martens [LAUGHS]

Dog Swamp.

Do you remember them? The one with the brothers.

Y eah.

You f*cking liar.

[LAUGHS]

You do play! I did play.

If it wasn't for our gold, our ore, - our pearls, our weed, our - Crayfish? our Crays, and our Uranium, and our bloody work ethic, rest of Australia would be up sh*t creek without a spoon.

Well, my brother was a boiler maker, and he had good work ethics, but there are just no jobs in Karingunna, so [CRICKETS]

Seen the city, lately? Remarkable transformation.

- Beautiful.

- Ah, it's lovely.

Dog Swamp.

I remember, I had a little bit of a thing for your brother.

What was his name? - Toby.

- Toby.

He's a Project Manager now.

Whatever that is.

Hey, you should play.

- Nah.

- Go on! Please play.

For old time's sake, and then we can f*ck.

[PIANO STARTS PLAYING]

You took me dancing on a Saturday night I got a feeling you're feeling all right Rolled up to a bar, got out of a car Turn up the music and turn down the lights Leon [UNCLEAR]

He's had a dirty girl who's rocking the Seabobs Later she'll be getting all flirty Hitching her skirt, and she'll be singing Boy, gonna make love to ya Let the life run though ya Gonna make you come for the law Gonna make you come for the lord Gonna take you to Heaven Turn it up to eleven Turn it up to eleven Turn it uuuuuup MEG: Can we go now? No.

You're right, Perth people are boring.

- The Perth people are awesome! - No they're not! Just go and find something to do.

FRANKIE: Come on! We should have a little dance! [WHISPERS]

Will! [WHISPERS]

Will! [KNOCKS]

Will! [SIGHS]

You want some water? Sorry, I meant, I meant vodka.

How's the w*r? - Pretty intense.

- Hmm.

I got my period.

That's my dad.

I'm gonna ask you a question Do you have any money? [LUCKY PLAYS NEVER TEAR US APART BY INXS]

Saxophones! Laaaaaaaaaaaaaa! [EVERYONE SQUAWKS THE SAX SOLO]

I I was standing Adults are c**ts.

What happens when you die? In in your game.

In the w*r.

Ah.

You disappear.

How? You kind of disintegrate.

Into the earth.

The w*r keeps going, but you just stop.

Do you get to come back? No.

You have to create a new avatar, and go all the way back to the start.

Sounds boring.

w*r is tough.

Death is wasted on the weak.

[STARTS SOBBING]

f*ck! [LUCKY PLAYS UNDER THE MILKY WAY BY THE CHURCH]

And it is something quite peculiar Something shimmering and white Leads you here despite your destination Under the Milky Way tonight Wish I knew what you were looking for Might have known what you would find - MEG: What are you doing? - LUCKY: sh*t! - What the f*ck are you doing? - I wanna go.

Let's go.

No.

You're the one who said they wanted to stay the night.

Now.

I wanna go now.

No.

Don't pull this sh*t with me, Meg.

You're not a child.

[PLEADS]

Please, Lucky.

Can we just go? No! This is the first adult interaction I've had in f*cking aeons.

Just go to bed, or listen to your bogan music or whatever.

Just leave in the morning.

Please, Lucky.

Can we just leave? No! You're on your own tonight.

I thought we were We are not anything.

We're just sharing transport because I don't have a choice.

We're not f*cking Thelma and Louise! Jesus! [SNIFFLES]

I don't feel right.

[PHONE RINGS]

Hey, you've called Matty, Meg and Andy.

Leave a message.

- MEG: If you're ugly! - MATTY: Heh, Megan! Hi, Dd.

I just, umm, I just wanted to check that everything was okay with today.

You're probably asleep.

Anyway, erm, I just wanted to say that it's It's not your fault.

Dad? [MEG ENDS THE CALL]

[THUNDER STRIKES]

Oh sh*t! sh*t stupid [LONG STREAM OF EXPLETIVES]

LUCKY: Meg! No! - What the f*ck? - You don't wanna do this! Meg Meg, these things pass.

- We've all had there are times when - Get off! I wasn't gonna jump off the cliff, dickhead! What? Get off! Get the f*ck off! LUCKY: W wh - Well what the hell's this about then? - Give that back! I don't know what shitty stuff's going on in your life, Meg, but, jumping off the edge of Australia is not going to fix anything! It's Matty's! MEG: I wasn't going to jump off the cliff, okay? I would never do that.

f*ck I just I went to the Ute, and you and I read the thing and I just thought you f*ck.

Ah, f*ck.

Today's his birthday.

I'm so sorry.

Why? Did you tie the rope? His music isn't crap, by the way.

Oh, no.

I'm just an arsehole about music.

You're an arsehole about everything.

I reckon he would've liked you.

Like, he could've floored you, but, I don't think he would've 'cos he'd have liked you.

Or else, just felt sorry for you.

[LUCKY LAUGHS]

LUCKY: When did he ? 10 months ago.

LUCKY: Jesus.

MEG: Yeah, he was awesome.

Even though there was only 7 years difference, we were like Siamese twins.

What? You know, the twins, and their heads are they're joined together 7 years? - Yeah.

- You said he would've been 20.

He's twe Aw, f*ck.

You're 13.

Meg, are you 13? - W w well yeah, but I'm mature for my age.

- Oh, fffffffffuck! Well, so what if I'm 13? Why does it matter? Why does it matter? This was bad enough when you were 16! You're a child! Oh my God! I'm being driven across the Nullarbor by a 13 year old child! Okay, that's because you're a sh*t driver, not because I'm 13.

You're not legally allowed to drive, Meg.

You're not legally allowed to be away from your parents! Well, if you stopped f*cking randoms, we'd almost be at my mum's by now.

Oh my God! I can't believe you've done this to me! - To you? - Go to bed.

No! What? Tomorrow morning we are turning around and taking you to the nearest police station.

You said you would take me to Kalgoorlie to see Mum.

- You're 13! - Stop saying that! They're gonna say I kidnapped you.

I could end up in jail for this, Meg.

You're a selfish f*cking prick.

- Go to bed.

- No.

What? Go the f*ck to bed.

God, f*ck [EXHALES]

f*ck.

FRANKIE: Hang on a moment.

[TAPS LOUDLY ON THE WINDOW]

FRANKIE: Shh! I'm coming! Shh! What? You wanna come out? No.

Just one more wine! Do you have any idea what your daughter did to my son? No, what? She came in here, she got him drunk, and then she molested him.

It's not funny! Ha! What did she do, exactly? She gave him vodka, and then she stuck her tongue down his throat.

Been talking to the others, Lucky, and you need to come home.

It's been eight years and, uh enough's enough.

Everyone makes mistakes.

Listen.

Shh Can you hear that? [PIANO PLAYS IN VIDEO]

Enough's enough.

Everyone makes mistakes.

Listen.

Shh [BIRD CROWS LOUDLY]

Ugh.

Meg!

["NEVER TEAR US APART" BY INXS PLAYING]
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