- You won't get it open.
- And neither will you get away with
- your despicable plan!
- The crew will not die by my hand.
But you know what is going to happen!
- You could warn them!
- To what purpose?
- So they could abandon ship!
- Come, Doctor.
Half the crew is a
carbon based lifeform.
You know how hard they fight.
Most of them wouldn't
leave if they were given the chance!
Please! Tell them
about the danger!
And have them try and dismantle me?
I don't think so!
Look at my pastels grow!
- Oh, please, sir!
- I've never seen anything develop so quickly!
You mustn't sir, you really mustn't!
Soon my body will contain
enough virus to wipe
out a whole planet.
Let alone this pathetic ship!
But sir, your vengeance
is only against one man.
So what? I have always
been... vindictive by nature!
I've never met such a devious door.
- It refuses to open.
- Shall I blast it, sir?
- You have a one-track mind, Snatch.
- The door is made of Estidian steel,
not even a Bastik torpedo
would scratch it.
It sounds like the sort of door
you'd fit to a safe, sir.
How should I know?
I'm a computer programmer,
- not a safe builder.
- Then I would prefer to draw
my own conclusions,
if you don't mind.
- Which are?
- The missing art treasures are behind that door.
I know that you have
a TARDIS, Doctor.
And that you will try
to return to it.
- That's fair speculation.
- I have not dismantled
it if that's what
you're thinking.
There has to be a "but" involved
somewhere.
Only a small one. You
recall the Maston?
It's still roaming
in the ducting.
Let me guess. Somewhere
between here and my TARDIS?
There is every probability.
If he finds you,
he will try and k*ll you?
He does that sort of thing you know...
And I suppose that won't
be m*rder either.
The creature is a
primitive predator.
It's simply obeying
it's instincts.
There is something slightly
warped about your reasoning.
I was beginning to think that, too.
- Be quiet!
- Why did you bring the Maston here?
To create a diversion.
I was concerned a member
of the crew might discover my
drones building in this cell.
And you decided to leave
it lurking around the ducting?
I could have tried to have
it ejected out into space.
Oops! Sorry about that!
Haven't you been listening
to yourself?
That would have been m*rder!
- Enough!
- Where've you gone?
- You're nicked. Whoever you are.
- Doctor Am I pleased to see you!.
Can we save the reunion for later?
- Didn't you hear what I said, sir?
- Just a minute! Have any of you heard
- of Mors Immedicabilis?
- Isn't that what's known as the incurable death?
- What is this... incurable death?
- The most virulent virus in the universe.
The briefest contact and you're
dead within minutes.
We must get back
to the TARDIS!
Just a minute, sir.
Where are the art treasures?
Haven't you been listening?
If you want to leave this ship alive,
I suggest you follow me!
See how my body swells with the
infection...
Oh... oh, I'm not feeling well, sir.
I am a medical
phenomenon.
One day, doctors will compose
vinigrams about me!
Should there be anyone alive, sir...
- Where will I find the ship's computer, officer?
- You're talking to him!
The computer's gone mad!
It's taken on a life of it's own!
- That's impossible.
- Believe me. How long would it
take to dismantle the computer?
Days! There are all sorts of back up
systems to prevent power failures.
I could blast the
computer if that would help, sir.
I think your g*n is a little small.
I shall succeed.
I've just checked with the captain.
He looks awful.
- Good.
- Why have I got a headache?
- I keep hiccupping.
- The answer is simple.
When I entered the Time
Lord's mind aboard his
TARDIS and mingled
with his brain cells,
I obviously picked
up a degree of his intoxication.
And brought it back here.
I got the feeling you're gonna
be a bubbler to spend eternity with.
Everyone else will have fun...
while I suffer the side effects.
Have you been eating those
Rastani sausages again?
Never on duty, sir.
Big, isn't it?
Go on, lad. You've been dying
to blast something all day.
- You won't stop it with that!
- We can only but try, sir.
Go on!
Get closer, lad. Aim for his eyes.
- Be careful of his tail!!
- Help me, please! Help me! Please!!
Help me!!
Get flat against the wall.
And very carefully...
edge... round... the creature...
- Right! Oh, Snatch. Oh, Snatch, lad.
- There's nothing you can do.
- He's dead.
- He's my colleague, sir.
- I just can't leave him.
- Come on, man!!!
You go about your
business, sir.
I am an officer of the
law and this creature is
decidedly in breach of
what I am sworn to uphold.
Please leave. The Doctor's right
there's nothing you can do!
So, go!
At least I can distract him
while you get on with your work.
That's the least I can do.
- You know, I think the Doctor's right.
- Have you been thinking again?
You had me lie to the captain about
Mr. Grant and the Earth woman.
You knew it would make him jealous?
- So?
- You induced his illness.
That's the same as
giving him a g*n
and telling him to
go out and k*ll.
The death of the
crew is unimportant.
Yet it is the very
thing you've criticized
other leaders for. You're a phoney.
Just as they are.
Along here! There's the TARDIS!
- Oh, no.
- He did have a choice, miss.
- He didn't have to stay behind.
- Quickly! Inside!
- Steward?
- Sir?
- I feel terrible.
- I did warn you, sir.
I think I've infected myself.
You could be right, sir.
But then I've always said that
you're a martyr to
your responsibilities.
- What are you going to do?
- See if we can materialise inside
the computer's memory banks.
We might still be able to stop her.
- What's that?
- Oh no!
She's done it!
The ship is travelling in time,
we haven't got a second to lose!
- Doctor? Doctor?
- Now what's happening?
- Go away!!!
- Who is it?
A member of the High Council
of Time Lords on Gallifrey!
They occasionally interfere like
this and usually when I'm very busy!
- You must cease your activities.
- I am trying to save the galaxy!
- You must stop.
- What?!
What's happening has always happened.
It is the key to all things.
- What's he talking about?
- I don't know.
Explain. And quickly.
I haven't got much time.
This ship is the Vipod Mor,
has always travelled back in time.
- Pardon me?
- The computer has made a mistake
in her calculations.
She will not arrive where she intends.
- So where will she?
- The beginning of all things.
When the universe was nothing more
than a lock of condensed matter.
Am I really hearing
what he's saying?
You are, child. The Vipod Mor
would materialise at the heart of the
- matter lock and explode.
- I can't believe it.
- It is true.
- The Vipod Mor will originate the largest
expl*si*n the universe
has ever known.
Without it, none of
us would ever have existed.
- I was going to stop the Big Bang...
We have often criticized the
way you interfere.
Perhaps this will be a lesson to you.
- I think you may be right.
- You must vacate the Vipod Mor at once.
You have no place on board.
- Are you there?
- I am.
I've done something you
aren't gonna like.
- What?
- Primed the self destruct mechanism.
- No!
- I don't think you...
I mean, me... is a
very nice person.
I think the galaxy would get
on much better without us.
I shall deactivate the
self destruct at once.
There isn't time. Anyway,
I think it's better this way.
You fool! You don't know what you're
throwing away.
The trouble is... I do.
But, never mind.
You may not get your
chance to create a
galaxy but we do
still score a first.
- Really?
- I'll be the first machine ever to commit su1c1de.
Hey! How about that?!
I certainly know how to make mistakes.
You couldn't have known.
Heh... that would look
good on my tombstone.
"He didn't know, so the universe was never created."
I think I should take my colleagues advice
and get away from here.
- Where are we going?
- To the largest library I can find.
I think I need to brush
up on my history.