06x08 - Beast Boy on a Shelf

[bunniefuu]

[bird crowing]

[cat meowing, mouse squeaking]

[elephant trumpeting, lion roaring]

Go! [opening theme playing]

T

-E

-E

-N T

-I

-T

-A

-N

-S Teen Titans, let's go Teen Titans, go ["Jingle Bells" playing]

Yo, Cy, it's Christmas! You know what we gots to do? To deck the halls? That's what's up! ["Deck The Halls" playing]

Whoa, whoa, whoa, stop the shenanigans this instant! Do you not realize the Santa Claus is watching the every move? It's like you're trying to get on the naughty list.

We ain'ts worried about no naughty list, mama.

Yeah! Santa can't put us on it if he can't see us.

But he sees you when you're sleeping.

He knows when you're awake.

No one can escape his penetrating gaze.



- No one.



- [breathing heavily]

[blowing raspberry]

Yo, Cy, show them how we do.

[metal clanking]

[beep]

[all]

What? That's right.

Now the jolly fat man can't see a thing.

So this year, we's can be as naughty as we want to be.

Brilliant! We are no longer restricted to the just being of the nice.

Then there's only one thing to do.

Titans, go! Be naughty! [panting]

[both exclaim]

[both laugh]

[all]

Yay! [both chuckling]

[both]

Yay! [squeaking]

[all]

Yay!

- [glass breaking]



- [yelling]

[both laughing]

[both]

Yay!

- Hey, where are you going?

- I gots to get some of that good junk food in this belly.



- [stomach growling]



- Aren't you worried you're gonna spoil your dinner? No, I ain'ts! [chuckles]

Oh, you're so naughty.

You bad.

That's what's up! [elevator dings]

[chuckles]

[camera shutter clicking]

Ooh, ooh, ooh.

[camera shutter clicks]



- [chomping]



- [camera shutter clicks]

[engine revving]



- [tires screech]



- [glass shatters]

Oh, no, no, no! Don't do it! No! [Beast Boy groaning]

Ow! Hello, Titan twerp.

[laughs]

We meet again.

I trust you're acquainted with my partner.

[growling]



- [barks]



- Huh, what's the meaning of this? I've been watching you, and you've been very, very naughty.

In fact, I have enough evidence of naughtiness here to keep you in trouble for quite some time.

What's you wants from me? Just a little help, is all.

A couple of wackos at the North Pole Bureau of Internal Affairs have been snooping around.

They say I'm cutting corners, putting kids on the naughty list, without sufficient documentation of wrongdoing.

Ah, seems like that kind of transparency would cut down on the corruption.

It's garbage paperwork and a waste of Santa's time! They're threatening to shut down my whole operation, unless I provide proof of naughtiness, but you Titans have installed an anti

-surveillance system that my magic can't penetrate.

What's that gots to do with me? I need eyes on the inside, [clicks tongue]

someone to report back to me the mischief they get into each day.

A spy.

No's way.

I's no creepy rat.

Ow! You'll be my creepy rat or you'll get no Christmas presents.

Whatevs, I don't even needs no presents this year.



- Oh, yeah?

- [growls]



- [slaps]



- [Beast Boy]

Ow!

- What about next year?

- Ow! Quit it!

- And the next?

- Ow! Ow! Oh! [cries]

Ow! Make it stop.



- [Beast Boy]

Ow!

- [hitting continues]

No, he's having too much fun to stop.



- [Beast Boy]

No!

- He's just getting started tonight.

I'll do whatevers you says, I's promise.

Good.

[chuckles]

Good.

Get our little rat friend some cheese.

Oww! Is this vegan? Just keep your eyes open and remember, if you break your promise, he breaks you! [growling]

[sleigh bells ringing]

Christmas cookies, here I come.

I probably shouldn't, right before dinner.

But who's gonna know?

- [eerie music plays]



- [screams]

Dude, what are you doing on that shelf? Yo, wassup! [eerie music playing]

Beastie? Whatever.

[chomping]

So, my little rat.

[chuckles]

What you bring Santa? Oh, I sees some real naughty business going on.

Ooh.

Do tell.

[snickers]

My man Cyborg be sneaking cookies before dinner.

Ow! What's that for? That isn't naughty.

You didn't keep your promise.

Perhaps you need more persuading.



- [growls]



- [screams]

I do's better, for reals.

I'm going to get the dirt on your garbage friends, one way or another.

Nah, fool, I ain'ts wearing no wire.

Oh, [chuckles]

I think you will.

If not, you get the jingle bells.

[stretching]

[bells jingle]

[sleigh bells ringing]

Oh, yeah, looks like mama's been real good this year.

Where's my dang toothbrush? Oh, well, Star won't mind.

[brushing]

[gulping]

Aah! The forbidden carton milk.

[burps]

[Robin]

Oh, yes, ah! [grunts]

No one will know that these bountiful buns are in fact, fraudulent buns.

[grunts]

What are you doing in my room? And uh [embarrassed chuckle]

How much did you see? [ominous music]

Answer me! I ain't seen nothing! Definitely no nasty booty stuffing shenanigans, nothing at all! Who sent you! Is Cyborg trying to steal my booty secrets again? No, man! It wasn't nobody.

I just gots lost, that's it.

You're hiding something.



- [tearing]



- [Robin]

A wire! [dramatic music playing]

Titans, we've got a rat in our midst.

He's been spying on us for Santa.

Say it ain't so, Beastie.

He makes me do it, yo! He has all these evidentiaries on me, and I mean, all reindeer kids using them gazpacho tactics.

A rat is a rat, doesn't matter the reason.

What's y'all gonna do? The only thing we can.

You are to go to the sleep.

Oh, I likes naps.

With the fishes! [screams]

Come on, y'all, I'm begging yous.

I'll do anything.

Anything, huh? How about putting your spying skills to good use, and going in to infiltrate the fat man himself? Ah! But what if he's catches me? That crazy reindeer is gonna give me them jingle bells! You should have thought of that before you sold us down the river! Now, run on back to Santa We'll be listening.

[beeps]

Are you in position?

- Yeah, but

- Just get it done.

[Santa reading]

"Dear Santa, [chuckles]

may I please have a [mocking]

teddy bear.

Hope you like my drawing.

Love, Jane.

" Garbage! Utter garbage! Just for this, you're going on the naughty list.

[fire blazing]



- [laughing cunningly]



- [gasps]

That's cold, yo! [camera shutter clicking]

What's this? [sniffing]

Does Santa smell a rat? Well, if there is a rat here, he'll probably want some cheese.

[yells]

Oh, thought you could get away with spying on Santa, huh? Think again! Now tell me, who sent you?

- [glass shatters]



- [Robin]

Who do you think? And now, we have the dirt on you.

Judging kids' artwork.

Crumpling up their notes.

The mismanagements of the lists of the naughty and the nice.

We've got you now, Santa.

What? You'll expose me? Thanks to your little friend, I've collected enough evidence against you garbage kids to keep you on the naughty list till the end of time! It seems we're at an impasse, Santa! If you expose us, we'll expose you.

Then perhaps we can all agree to keep this unfortunate information to ourselves.

Perhaps we can.

[dramatic music playing]



- But what about him?

- What about me? How do we know you're not gonna talk? Talk about what? I's a little confused on what exactly is happening right now.

There's only one thing to do.

Titans and Santa, go!

- [g*ns cock]



- Get the rat! [yelling]

[chuckling]

[g*n jamming]

He got away.

[Beast Boy]

It wasn't very hard for me to vanish without a trace.

The tower was in Robin's name.

The car was registered to Cyborg.

My Social Security card was a fake.

I ain't never paid no taxes or voted for no ones.

You'd never even know I was alive.

Do you see the suspects in the courtroom today? Can you please point them out? [reindeer growling]

[Beast Boy]

And that's the thing about rats, yo, they's good at hiding, especially when them elves in the North Pole Bureau of Internal Affairs put 'em in the naughty list protection program.

Beast Boy was never heard from again.

And he never got another present from Santa.

[chuckling]

[closing theme playing]