06x14 - Magic Man

[bunniefuu]

[Bird crowing]

[Cat meowing, Mouse squeaking]

[Elephant trumpeting,
lion roaring]

♪ Go! ♪

[Opening Theme playing]

♪ T-E-E-N ♪

♪ T-I-T-A-N-S ♪

♪ Teen Titans, let's go ♪

♪ Teen Titans, go ♪

[Beast Boy slurping]

[gargling]

Uh, what are you doing?

Having lunch.

Ah, we done run out
of them proper foods.

You want some?

Gross.
[smacks]

Azarath metrion zinthos!

There, food.

[gasps]
Woah!

[struggling]

What's up with you?

The TV's busted.

How's a man supposed
to pass their idle times

without that good TV?

How?

Jeez, calm down.

Azarath metrion zinthos!

Tabitha, I've returned.

Kensington, you're alive?

But I saw you
get disintegrated

in that unicycle expl*si*n.

[Kensington] I got better.

There, it's a portal
to the drama dimension.

It's been years.

Tabitha, I've changed.

Run away with me.

- I can't.
- Huh?

I'm engaged.

To your evil twin
half-brother.

[door opens]

I'm pregnant.

[dramatic music]

Ha-ha, so dramatic.

Sick.

Wait, pause the show.

Ugh, I gots to goes
to the bathroom

and I don'ts wants to
miss any drama.

No need.

[gasps]

Mama Raven, I's done
made a decision.

Cool.

I wants you to teach me
to be a magic man.

You mean a wizard.

I gots to learn
them good spells

so I can do everything
real easy, like you.

Magic isn't a shortcut
to make your life easier.

It's a dangerous art

that can cause indestructible
destruction if it's done wrong.

It takes years of
grueling discipline to master.

[lapping water]

So, you'lls teach me then?

Of course not.

Come on, just one spell.

- No.
- Two spells.

No, don't ask me again.

Fine, three spells

and I ain't doing
no more negotiation.

- Argh.
- I warned you.

Why don'ts you
believe in me?

Because magic is serious

and you're a goof.

Now, leave me alone.

I cans be a wizard.

I knows it.

Uh-huh, uh-huh, mmm-hmm.

Here we go.
Azarath metrion zinthos!

Ah!

[ghosts howling]

- Beast Boy?
- Ah, I's can fix it.

Just go back to sleeps.

Uh, uh...
Azarath metrion zinthos!

- [roars]
- [screams]

Not bad for my
first time, huh?

You destroyed
my spell book.

Now I'll destroy you.

I just wanted
to be the wiz.

[demonic voice] Azarath
metrion zinthos!

Uh, how comes
I ain't destroyed?

[exhales] My spell book was
the source of my magical power.

So you can't smash me
no more.

That's cool.
Ow!

This is why I told you
to stay away from magic.

I need my spell book.

And there's only
one other copy.

In a place for wizards, witches
and other magical creatures

to share their knowledge.

The Azarath Library.

Can I comes with?

I can be the best wiz,
I knows it.

You can't come.
And you can't be a wizard.

- Thorpigore! To the library.
- [crows]

[wings flapping]

[crows]

[beeping]

[rumbling]

[soothing music playing]

[typing]

[groans] It's gonna take forever
to find my spell book in here.

Girl, ain't you know
the Dewey Decimal system?

I told you not
to follow me.

I can'ts help it, mama.

I be a mans of
magical intentions.

Fine, just stay
in the kids section.

There's nothing
dangerous there.

Sweet!

Oh, snap!

Woah ho! Burrito magics.

Yo, that's a fresh cloak, yo.

[gasps] There you are.

[grunts] Hey, that's mine.

[roars]

[Raven grunting]

Give it to me.

[crashes]

If I'd had that book,
I'd magic you so hard.

Ha, ha, ha, ha!

Behold, I's be the wizard
with them good magics.

Ugh, where are
your pants?

I traded them for this cloak.

[upbeat music plays]

Looking good, bruh.

So, did you find
your spell book?

This goober grabbed it first.

[squeals]

You best hand's
that over, fool.

- [muffled squeal]
- Then I gots no choice.

I'ma wiz you real good.

Azarath metrion burrito!

[squeals]

Really?

You hungry, bro?

Is real spicy.

Nah, give me that book first.

- [munching]
- Yeah boy, that's how I do.

[burping]

- [gasps] My book.
- [screams]

That's rude, fool.

Cover your mouth next time.

That's two spell books
in one day, you goof.

Wait, I'm sorry, Raven.

- I's was just trying to help.
- Great job.

Now my only hope
is to find the wizard

who wrote my spell book
and convince him

to make me a new one.

It's a long and dangerous
journey.

You ain'ts got nothing
to fear, yo.

The burrito wizard
will protect you.

Awesome.

[mariachi music plays]

[growling]

- [thud]
- [grunt]

[Raven]
The lair of the book wizard.

The ancient and wise writer
of all spell books,

including mine.

I's be happy to meet
a cool wizard such as myself.

Woah, you are not coming.

Whys not?

Because you'll mess
everything up.

But I's can make the dude
a burrito and...

No! No more stupid
burrito magic.

You're not a wizard
and you never will be.

Just stay here and don't
do anything dumb.

Okay.

[Raven] Hmm, let's see.

There we go.

[Book Wizard] Hello,
who disturbeth the book wizard?

Hey, it's me, Raven,

[buzzes]

Welcome to the lair
of the book wizard.

Hey.

Hey, Raven, what's new?

Uh, not much. Remember
that spell book you made me?

Oh, yeah, took me a long time
to make that one.

Very painful.
Lots of paper cuts.

Yeah, it's gone.

I need you to make me
a new one.

You lost it?

And the copy in the library.

Clearly you cannot be trusted
with the magical arts.

You don't deserve
a new spell book.

Now be gone from this place.

- What?
- I said be gone!

- [rips]
- [book yelps]

Hey, step up, fool.

Get out of here, Beast Boy!

I ain'ts leaving without
your spell book.

Who are you?

I's the burrito wizard.

And if yous don't make Raven
a new spell book,

I'lls get crazy on you.

You dare thr*aten
the almighty book wizard?

I hopes you like
your burrito spicy.

[groans]

Such magic!

Huh?

Azarath metrion burrito!

[shrieks]

Whoa.

No!

[farts]

[mariachi music plays]

Yous look really tasty, yo.

No, no, no! I yield.

I'll make the spell book.

Just don't eat me.

That's what's up.

Now don't go losing that one.

I won't.

Beast Boy, thank you.

You ain'ts got to thank me.

I'm sorry I gots you into
this mess in the first place.

It's cool.

I should've believed in you.

You're quite the little
magic man, after all.

[both laugh]

Wait, turn me back
into a person.

[burps]