07x19 - Batman's Birthday Gift

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Teen Titans Go!". Aired: April 23, 2013 – present.*
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Animated series that follows the adventures of the young Titans: Beast Boy, Robin, Cyborg, Raven and Starfire.
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07x19 - Batman's Birthday Gift

Post by bunniefuu »

[bird crowing]

[cat meowing,
mouse squeaking]

[elephant trumpeting,
lion roaring]

Go! ♪

Opening theme playing...

♪ T-E-E-N

♪ T-I-T-A-N-S

♪ Teen Titans, let's go

♪ Teen Titans, go

[Titans screaming]

[creatures snarling]

[screaming]

[video tape screeches]

[Robin]
You're probably wondering,


"How did we
arrive at this moment?"


Well, I remember it
like it was yesterday.


Which is weird 'cause
this happened today.


[Robin humming]

What's you got there, yo?

What? This?

It's only the best birthday
gift Batman will ever receive.

[all groaning]

Aw, man,
not this again.

What?

Every year, you try to win
the Batman's approval

by giving him
the perfect birthday gift.

And every year
you end up the disappointed.

Stop torturing yourself, bro.

It's never gonna happen.

Yes, it will

because this year I'm going
to deliver this gift myself.

So Batman can see
how much hard work

I've put into his birthday.

Wow, so you're going to drive
all the way to Gotham city,

just to get
on Batman's good side?

That's right.

Well I'm sorry to put
a damper on your plans, my man,

but the T-car is in the shop.

[glass breaking, expl*si*n]

Not a problem.
I can take the bus.

No way!
He's gonna ride the bus?

We love riding the bus.

You can take
a nap while you travel.

And they make
those sweet bus noises like...

[mimics bus engine whirring] and...
[mimics brakes screeching]

nd...
[mimics hydraulic bus door opening]

And the wheels on the bus
go the round and the round

all through the town.

Can we's come along?

- Ooh, please?
- The please?

I suppose
I could use the company.

Great, then it's settled.

[Cyborg]
Gotham city here we come.

Ow.

[Cyborg]
Sweet! It's empty.

It looks like we gots
our own party bus, yo.

[air horn honking]

- [dance music playing]
- [all cheering]

[brakes screech]

Hmm, guess we're not
the only passengers.

Well, I for the one
am excited

to meet
our delightful new friends.

[footsteps]

Hi.

[screams]

[whimpering]

Relax, Star.
There's nothing to be afraid of.

They're just clowns.

Hey, who you calling a clown?

I'm just clowning ya.

[laughs]

So you are not
the evil clowns

who wish to
drag us into the sewer?

No, we're fun clowns

on the way
to the Clown Convention.

Lots of face painting,
balloon shaping,

and magic tricks, wow.

It's the best day of the year.
[laughs]

You guys wanna come?

We got extra costumes.

Oh, we'd love to but
we're on a very important miss...

- Yes.
- We're in.

Hurray.

[cheerful music plays]

[all gasp]

Beastie,
spraying a clown in the face

is like the most offensive thing you can do
in clown culture.

How's I supposed to know that?

Get him.

[all grunting]

- [laughing]
- [blows raspberry]

I can't believe this.

I know right,

you cause one little fight
and they kick you off the bus.

The nerve of those dudes!

No, I can't believe
I let you guys tag along.

Now, we're stranded out
in the middle of Nowhere.

Relax, dude, maybe Raven's
spell book can help.

- Uh-oh.
- What is the wrong?

I think I left my spell book
on the bus.

"Azarath Metrion Zinthos?"

[whooshing]

Great, at this rate
we're never gonna get to Gotham City.

Look on the bright side,

now we have an excuse
to check out some of the local sites.

[country music playing]

There you Rodeo clowns are!

We've been
looking all over for you.

Rodeo clowns?

[all] Huh? Whoa!

Wow!

[bull grunting]

[gasps]

Oh, look, friends.
It is the -gallon milk hat.

Howdy the partner?

Yep-yep-yee!

- [man] Bull riders this way.
- [Starfire yelps]

- [bell rings]
- [Starfire screams]

[screaming continues]

[all cheering]

I am getting the hang of this.

- [exclaims]
- [audience cheering]

Wow, she's doing really well.

I'm just relieved
we don't have to go in there.

[man] Go get 'em, clowns.

- [roars]
- [all screaming]

- [bull grunting]
- [screaming]

[roaring]

[Robin screaming]

Titans,
let's get out of here.

[all screaming]

[all groaning]

[ominous music plays]

Woah, there, there.

You've tamed the beast, Star.

Oh, he is no beast.
He is my friend.

And I have named him
Lactose Free Cowmilk.

Now go.

Go and be free,
Lactose, my gentle friend.

[sighs]

You know what that
beautiful display of friendship

reminds me of?

The fact that
I'm running out of time

to get this gift to Batman.

Chill, bro,
we'll get you there.

But how?

We could do that.

[soft country music plays]

[cowboy] Yeehaw.

Well,
that's a helpful coincidence.

Please, what is the Gurning?

Gurning is
when you contort your face

into a grotesque expression.

[grunting]

Like this.

[grunting]

Or this.

Or this.

[laughing]

That be hilarious, yo.

That car will be ours.

Titans, go to the Tri-county
Gurning Championship.

[imperceptible chatter]

Woah! Check this place out.

So many of the people,

with so few of the teeth.

[chuckles]

I can't believe
this is an actual sport.

It's not as easy as it looks,

it takes years of practicing

poor oral hygiene and
a few minutes of Gurn training.

Titans,
keep your eyes on the prize.

[woman]
Ladies and gentlemen,

let the Gurning begin.

- [bell dinging]
- [moos]

[people cheering]

Oh, yeah,
I'mma gurn it up.

[g*nsh*t]

I yearn for the gurn.

[straining]

[g*nsh*t]

Feel the gurn.

[g*nsh*t]

I don't gurn.

[g*nsh*t]

Don't worry, team,
I got this.

I was born to gurn.

[grunts]

[g*nshots]

[g*nshots f*ring]

[drum roll]

[woman]
Ladies and Gurnlemen.

The moment
you've all been gurning for...

- The Gurning Finals.
- [people cheering]

In the red corner is Cyborg.

And in the blue corner,
the six-time gurning champion

- Potato face.
- [people cheering]

[woman] Gentlemen,
get your gurn on.

- [bell dinging]
- [moos]

You've gots this, Cy.

[tense music plays]

[straining, grunting]

[woman] The winner...
Cyborg.

Nobody cares about that.

We just won a car.

Gah! This is a disaster.

We're still stuck here.

And we don't even know
where "here" is.

Friends, look.

[eerie music plays]

It's the clown bus, yo.

[growls]

[snarling]

Those clowns
must have used my spell book

and accidentally turned
themselves into fish zombies.

Run!

[screaming]

[dramatic music plays]

[Titans screaming]

[all gasp]

[snarling]

Oh, this looks
like the end.

Any moment, those fish zombies are
gonna rip us limb from limb.

And the worst part is
that I have once again

failed to get
Batman's approval.

[low growl]

[bull roars in distance]

[all] Lactose!

[Raven] Nothing's fate honey.

[whistling]

I can't wait to see
the look on Batman's face

when he opens this.

Ooh, what does the note say?

[Robin reading]

[Robin reading]

Just leave the gift, then?

[Robin continues reading]

What else does it say?

Nothing just,
"Your pal, Batman."

I am sorry,
friend Robin.

Sorry? For what?

Did you hear that?

"Your pal, Batman."

I'm Batman's pal!

You're not Batman's pal,
'cause I'm Batman's pal.

The Dark Knight likes me
The Dark Knight likes me ♪


♪ We're total besties

[exclaims]

I'm pretty sure that
wasn't directed at...

You're not Batman's pal,
'cause I'm Batman's pal.

[whoops]
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