01x03 - Hunters Without a Home

[bunniefuu]

Clancy, it's your sister.

You need to call me back right now.

I... I'm frickin' peeved off, man.
There's no reason that you're...

This is a message for Clancy Gilroy

from Carl Traunch from Traunch Video.

You're 17 days late on three video games.

Please return our property, or we're gonna
be forced to hire a bounty hunter, fucker.

Messages deleted.

New subscriber, Master.

- It's your boy Daniel Hoops.
- Daniel Hoops.

- Welcome to my space site.
- Damn.

Damn! Ice cream drought... That is brutal!

I'll do whatever it takes.
I'll get your creams.

Good morning, Master.

Did you get a chance to read
the Universe Simulator FAQ

-I left in your inbox?
-No.

Do you have a planet
that has ice cream on it,

like an ice cream world?

Master, I don't mean to nag,

-but simulator maintenance...
-Oh, boy! Here we go again.

...is important for me not to wobble,
so that I continue to function properly...

Ice cream,
there's got to be a planet with ice cream.

- Master, I must insist.
- Ask and you shall receive.

-Ice Cream Planet.
-Uh, Master?

Let's do a quick ice cream scan.
Do an ice cream scan.

Initiating ice cream scan.

My rapidly deteriorating sensors have
honed in on this magical fishbowl man.

Perfect. I'll get ice cream for Hoops
and talk to a fish. Send me in.

As you wish.

Um, I stayed up all night
making these new avatars.

-Yeah, I know.
-Corners. Chippy.

Little... Prim... Tep... Parspedewol...

-I want to be that little ad monkey.
-Avatar selected.

You chose
Glorious Phoenix of Eternal Light.

Merging with simulator in three,

- two, one...

Ahoy!

Captain, you got any ice cream
on this big fun boat?

If not, could I interview you
for my spacecast?

It goes into space.

You know what?
I'll just set up my drones.

Should I just follow you?

Is that a yes? Or a no?

Okay. We're goin' over here now.
That's great.

We're going in here now. This is great.

Now you're doing that. It's great.

This is great.

Just a little explanation
before we even start.

Oh, we're starting. Oh, great.

Magic is what I am.

The reason that meditation
is so important in magic

is because whatever we fasten
our attention on,

that's the direction our energy
is going to flow in,

so when you're doing magic,

you want to keep your mind
as single-pointedly focused

on whatever you're trying
to accomplish as possible.

Huh.

So, that's what meditation does.

It trains your mind, you know,
so it's not constantly scattered

and going into all different directions

and dispersing the energy
you're trying to build up.

Right. I know what you're talking about.
I've read books on magic.

I mean, Crowley, wow.

But, Jesus,
he sure comes across as somber sometimes.

Yes, he does.

Lord.

And it takes forever to sort of cr*ck open
what he's even saying.

You know, you've got to learn
so much other stuff

before you can even begin to understand
what the hell he's actually talking about

a lot of times, because so much of it
is written in a kind of code.

Whoo! Yeah! You know, I've noticed
a lot of magical stuff gets put into code.

It's like they're trying to protect...

Yeah, I've noticed that
compared to some magical writings,

some of the Eastern traditions
seem way more simple.

Yeah, and the reason for that

is because when you're talking about
Eastern traditions, Eastern paths,

most of these practices are set up

to lead you to this state
of what they call "enlightenment,"

what in magic we'd call
"crossing the abyss."

Eastern traditions are focused on doing
that over a period of several lifetimes.

Hmm.

Magic is like pouring jet fuel
on that process.

It aims to accomplish it in one lifetime.

So, what you're trying to do
is cram several lifetimes

of spiritual
and energetic experiences into one,

and that can be
a little overwhelming sometimes.

That's right.
And is that tantra?

- That reminds me of tantra. It's...
- Yes.

It's... Tantra actually plays a huge role
in certain aspects

or certain traditions of magic
like the OTO, you know,

which Crowley was the head of
whenever he d*ed.

I knew it!

I notice you've been ordained
in Rinzai Zen.

Rinzai Zen Buddhism?

Yes, it was the tradition that trained
the samurai in ancient Japan.

When I was in prison, I had a zen master
that would come back and forth from Japan

to the prison.

And, you know, I sat
zazen meditation for years,

and, honestly, I did not get as much
out of years of Eastern practices

as I did months of ceremonial magic.

And I think part of that... It's...

They're both aiming at the same thing,
but whenever we,

especially someone
coming from my background,

just poor white trash from Arkansas
who has no connection to, you know,

any Eastern tradition at all,
I had to learn that stuff from scratch.

So it was like learning
an entire different language.

Whereas magic deals with
Western iconography, symbolism,

things that we've grown up
having shoved into our psyche

from the second we came into this world.

So, I think part of us,
some really deep, internal part,

responds to it a lot quicker

-than it does the Eastern traditions.
-Oh, right!

I've heard different versions
of what you're saying.

That's cool.
For example, let's take Ganesh.

You know, like...

Or, no, maybe Hanuman, for example.
You know, the monkey god.

It's like, this is a very powerful symbol,

but how many of us have had any
real experience with monkeys in the wild?

Yes,
we didn't have many monkeys in Arkansas.

Too bad! I love 'em.
They are annoying, though.

-Whoo! Those are some bad fish.
-Yeah. Ha.

You know, I don't have very many friends

-just because magic is my life.
-For sure.

I do this for hours a day.

This is not something that I do as,
like, a hobby...

...or, you know,

something on the side.

-This is the focal point of my life.
-Sweet darling!

I can tell.

That's when I realized...

That's why I wasn't miserable
a lot of times

when I was in prison,
because even in there,

in a hellish situation, I was doing what
I was put here to do, which was magic.

That alleviates a lot of suffering.

And if people jump ahead too far, you can
really blow your face off with this stuff,

so to speak, right?

What are the roots of magic?

You know, magic, ceremonial magic,
what we call high magic,

um, originated in ancient Mesopotamia
somewhere around 3500 BC.

So, it is uniquely Western.

That's not entirely the West,
it's more the Middle East,

because it originated
in a part of the world

that would now be, you know,
present-day Iraq in a city called Nippur.

What happened,
the way we got it in Europe was

whenever the Knights Templar
were sent over there

to escort pilgrims back and forth
from the Holy Land to make sure

they're not att*cked by bandits,
things like that.

- Your cats are really talented.
- Well, thank you.

The Knights Templar
come in contact with this current,

and when I say "current,"
what I'm talking about...

You know how in certain
Buddhist traditions...

- Yeah.
- ...like, say, Tibetan Buddhism,

they talk about...

-What's the word? Empowerments.
-Sure.

You know, it's like a current of energy
passed along from master to student.

Ceremonial magic
is the exact same thing.

The Knights Templar started receiving
this current whenever they were there.

That's how it makes its way
back to Europe.

Eventually makes its way
to the United States

through
the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn,

which was the order
that Crowley was a member of

before he, you know, went off to the OTO.

You had MacGregor Mathers,
Dion Fortune, the poet WB Yeats.

All of these people
were members of the Golden Dawn.

That's how this current
makes its way to the US.

One second.

Hey, Steve!

What the f*ck? You need to shine
that light in my f*cking eyes?

If that's how you're gonna talk
to customers,

I'll just take my ship full of cats
and find another junk island.

A ship full of cats? Ah, sh*t!

My apologies!

Look at all these wonderful gifts
and gadgets here.

We got a fresh printer,
time slapper, some cans...

And, ooh...

you want that?

A vintage enlil? That ain't cheap, pal.

It's gonna be... five cats.

He's bluffing. I can get it for three.
Watch this.

-Three!
-Five!

Fine, Steve.
Four, and that's my last offer.

All right. You're taking flakes
outta my minnow's mouth, but fine.

Four it is. Send them over.

Um, I forgot what the hell
we were talking about.

We're talking about the transmission,

what's also known as
the disciplic succession.

Yes. People think...

Here's the thing that is so important

that I want people to understand about
magic when I talk about it a lot of times.

When we're talking about
something being an oral tradition,

we sort of live under
this misunderstanding

that that means it's just
a bunch of stories told, handed on.

That's not what this means.

What an oral tradition is,
it means the way this current of energy

is passed from one person to another
is through the voice.

- Our voice is sound waves.
- Yeah.

We're creating sound waves
which carry information.

That's why, in the Bible...

I always tell people the Bible is
the greatest book of magic ever written

once you know how to read it.

The whole thing
in the very first chapter of the Bible,

they're talking about, in the beginning
was the Word, and the Word was God.

That's because this is an oral tradition.

- It's... Does that make sense?
- You're blowing my mind!

So that goes all the way back
to, um, ancient Mesopotamia...

- I forgot...
- Maybe further back.

Is it the words that have the energy,

or is it the energy coming out
of the person saying the words?

Combination of both.

For example, you can only pass the current
if you've received the current.

Like, you could say
the exact same words...

...that a person
who's holding the current would say,

and if you're not holding the current,
it's not going to transmit.

You have to be holding the current
and have the right words.

There's two reasons to do magic.

One is for manifesting something,

and that can be anything from
a parking spot to the career you want

to the relationship you want to be in,
whatever it is.

The other reason for doing magic
is what I call spiritual sustenance,

where you are deliberately invoking energy
and intelligences that you then absorb

into your energy system,
into your aura, to make you grow,

-make you change.
-That cat just sloshed me!

That's the mama cat.
She's a prankster.

There's two ways
that magic is passed on.

One is through a lodge or order setting,
you know, like the Golden Dawn.

That's more like a curriculum-type thing,
like a school, you know.

Everybody's learning the same thing
at the same rate.

The other way is, like,
master to student, and that allows for...

Thank you.
...things that are a little more profound,

just because you're not learning
the same thing as everyone else.

Blessed be thy feet,
that they may walk this path.

If it's someone who knows
what they're doing, they can judge

where you're at.

Mentally where you're at,
emotionally where you're at, spiritually,

and figure out what it is that you need
to sort of set off these bombs...

Whoa!

...that cause epiphanies and realizations

- and things like that.
- Yeah.

Yeah!

Woo-hoo-hoo!

Most people spend their lives

- complaining about things they don't like.
- Yes.

So, you're adding power to it.
You're giving it chi.

We're supposed to focus on what it is
that we're wanting to move towards

instead of away from.

You don't have to lie
when something is bad.

You know, if you have a cold
and someone says, "Are you sick?"

that doesn't mean say, "No."

It means say,
"I'm getting better minute by minute."

Oh, that's great.

Do you think that the reason
you ended up in prison is because,

this sounds so weird,
good karma?

Yes. I absolute...

This will sound crazy to people,
but I absolutely do.

I am thankful now
for the time that I spent in prison.

Even for some of the most horrible things
that happened to me.

Say, for example, when I was beaten so bad
that I was in a lot of physical pain,

if I would have been out here,
I could've just went to a doctor.

I didn't have that option in there.

I had to find ways to help me cope

with not only the emotional
and mental anguish I was going through,

but also the physical anguish,
the physical pain.

So that pushed me constantly
to keep exploring what was possible

with these practices.

By the time that I got out of prison,

I didn't even feel like
I was in prison anymore.

My cell almost felt like
a control tower...

where I could reach out
and touch anything in the world.

I look at people out here now
who think that I had a horrible life.

Ah...

And don't get me wrong, there were
some pretty unpleasant aspects of it.

-Can we go...
-You know, whether it was b*ating

-or starvation...
-Forget it.

...or just living in fear sometimes

that these people
are gonna k*ll you at any minute.

Whatever it is, still,
I think I had a better life

than most of, like, the millennials I see
sort of flailing around out there now,

trying to figure out who they are
and what they're gonna do with...

-I never had to experience that.
-Right.

You puke ice cream?

I always knew what I was.

I always knew
what I was supposed to be doing.

And I kinda embraced that.

Yeah!

When you say "control tower"
and "reaching out,"

do you mean that you were doing
some form of astral projection

-or some kind of...
-That is part of magic,

and I don't like that word, actually,
but I don't know another word to use,

-astral projection...
-Ow!

...just because
it sounds so kind of flaky and New Agey.

In our society,
not just our society in the West,

but also in the East, we've sorta
arrived at this conclusion somehow...

Spirituality has become so watered down
that we think enlightenment

is the be-all and the end-all
of spiritual practice.

It's the finish line. It's not.

There are actually things
that come after that.

What we think of as enlightenment
is the first step in a process.

In magic, what they call in the East
"enlightenment,"

we call "solar consciousness."

Solar consciousness means

that you are completely and absolutely
in the present moment,

just like
whenever you achieve enlightenment.

After you develop solar consciousness,

the next step in this process

is developing what we call
the "solar body."

You are building a vehicle
to allow your consciousness

to not disintegrate at the point
of what we call the Second Death.

The First Death
is when the physical body dies.

The Second Death is whenever
your astral or etheric body

begins to unravel.

That's whenever your consciousness goes
through this cosmic washing machine...

...every aspect of personality

is washed out of it,

you're left with a kernel
of pure energy,

which is then recycled
into something else.

If you develop the solar body,
that doesn't happen.

You put your consciousness
into the solar body

at the moment of death.

You then become...

not entirely, not exactly the same...

-Yeah.
-...but your consciousness

is then completely unbroken for eternity.

From that point on,

you can come into the physical realm
when, where, and how you choose,

if you choose to do so.

The point is to help other people
complete this process.

You know, Beethoven said
that the point of being alive,

the point of being human,

is to approach divinity
as closely as you possibly can

and then disseminate those rays
out to mankind.

- Oh...
- Hold that thought.

May the light protect him.

Why... ay-ay-ay-ay!

What?

Behold the death of the old eon...

...and the birth of the new.

What the f*ck, Darryl? I was asleep!

Well, it was time to wake up
to the truth, Barry!

Oh, so ruining my marriage
wasn't enough, huh?

You ruined your own
f*cking marriage, Barry.

I just want to hear you say it.
Say you f*cked my wife!

You never woke up!

Oh, sh*t.

I was sleeping, you bastard!

You were asleep.
You never woke the f*ck up!

I'm gonna f*ck you up for that.

You were napping,
bringing rocks to life

like some kind of d*ck.

- I looked out for her!
- That's what this is about?

You were the one going to Lad's,
getting lap dances at Lad's all the time.

- I had a platinum membership!
- Guys!

You don't just get those.
That took years to earn!

- f*cking fight and shut up!
- Guys!

Now I'm the one
who's supposed to shut the f*ck up.

You didn't even try to...

Classic...

You have seen destiny is on my side!

Sometimes saying revealing
and honest things...

But it makes me a beautiful person.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Yes! Yes!

Ow! f*ck!

Yes!

I love you.

Thank you so much!

Thank you!

Blessed be this cone
that it may make a new friend.

Shirts. Stickers. Cream.

Awesome!

Aw, thanks, Clancy. This is sick, man.
Look at this swag grab.

Hell, yeah, I got some stickers, pens...
Wait a second, there's two shirts here?

What size is this?
Extra-medium? Come on!

Ice cream...

This tongue's about to get cold.

Shout out to Clancy for this frosty cone.

Dad, no!

I was just having some ice cream, Dad. No!

- You pig!

Dad, I told you to knock! Ow!

Sun and the wind, I smite you!

sh*t.

Chirp.