04x22 - Bubba's Double Date

[bunniefuu]

Psychic predicts Earth
will explode by Christmas.

Why the hell am I dustin'?

sh**t, I'd say this
calls for a beer.

Ms. Harper, which
of these two dresses

do you think I ought
to wear tonight?

The slinky satin
or the gold lame?

Good Lord, Naomi, you're
chaperoning Bubba's prom

not entertaining the troops.

Just what is wrong
with these dresses?

Nothin' if you wear
'em under an overcoat.

I don't know why I'm asking
you for fashion tips anyway.

I'll just go ask, Vinton

which of these two dresses
turns him on the most.

Who's gonna chaperone
the chaperones?

Knock, knock. And guess who?

Oh, well, Iola

this must be your
little niece, Vernette.

Didn't I tell you there
was a family resemblance?

Well, I should say.

She's the spittin' image
of your brother, Vern.

Isn't she? Except for the
pencil mustache and his hump.

Come on, Vernette.

Come on over here
and sit down, sweetie.

So. Tell me.

Are you enjoying
your visit to Raytown?

- Oh, yes, ma'am.
- We are paintin' the town red.

Yesterday, we went
on the taxidermy tour

and visited the grave of
the unknown Raytonian

and this mornin', we're goin'
to the bookbinding seminar

at the library.

Well, you merry madcaps.

It's a hands-on
seminar, strictly BYOB.

Bring your own books.

What else?

Oh, Thelma do you
have any old books

in need of repair?

Well, let me think.

I do have some
worn out cookbooks.

My Betty Crocker's
about ready to croak.

Oh, cookbooks will be fine.

At 11 o'clock, they're givin'

a stain-removal demonstration.

Great, maybe I'll send
along some dirty laundry, too.

Oh, didn't I tell you
Thelma was a stitch?

- Hi, Ms. Boylen.
- Oh, Bubba.

May I present my
niece, Vernette.

Vernette, this is Bubba.

Hi, Vernette.

Is this your first
trip to, Raytown?

Have you seen the tomb
of the unknown Raytonian?

Yeah, uh, it's really
something, isn't it?

Yeah, kind of makes you
wonder who that guy was, huh?

- Grandma.
- Okay, Iola, here you go.

Be careful.

There's enough flour
in these to bake biscuits.

I finished mowing the lawn,
and I cut back the kudzu.

My goodness, Bubba,
aren't you a busy bee?

I'm tryin' to earn some
extra money for the prom.

As soon as you finish
detailin' my car, I will pay up.

You got it. Soon as I get
myself somethin' cool to drink.

Uh, it was nice
meeting you, Vernette.

Yeah, okay.

Isn't Bubba a nice boy?

Yes, and so easy to talk to.

Well, Thelma, we gotta
rush off to the library.

- Oh, must you?
- I'm afraid so.

If we're late, we have to sit
in those little kiddie chairs.

- Bye-bye, Mrs. Harper.
- Bye-bye, Vernette.

Watch out for paper cuts.

Okay, Bubba.

Let's go over this
checklist one last time.

- Prom tickets?
- Check.

- Tux?
- Check.

- Shoes polished?
- Check.

Drug store?

You better be talkin'
about breath mints.

Bubba, I hope you remembered
to buy Wanda Lynn a corsage.

Yep, it's in the fridge

next to the one
Uncle Vint got you.

It's right by the pimento loaf.

Oh, baby.

Aaw, look.

Oh, honey, look it just
matches my dress perfectly.

Thank you.

Well, Bubba, they're both alike.

Is Wanda Lynn wearin'
a yellow dress too?

Beats me.

You gotta know the
color of her dress.

Well, it's a prom dress.
Aren't they all the same?

You go call her right now
and find out immediately.

You can't get a girl a corsage
and hope that it matches.

That's right, I once gave
Bobbi Jean Kerkle a corsage

that didn't match her dress.

She wouldn't talk
to me for a week.

When did you ever
date Bobbi Jean Kerkle?

- Hello, Wanda Lynn?
- That was before I met you.

Yeah, I was just wonderin'

what color dress
you're wearin' tonight?

Is there some reason you're
keeping it a secret from me?

- What?
- It's no secret.

Oh, fine, you mean everybody
knows about it except me?

Will you two shut up.

I can't hear a word
Bubba's sayin'.

Well, I guess a
college fraternity party

is more important
than any old prom.

Have a ball.

Well, Bubba, what happened?

I've just been
dumped on prom night.

Oh, no.

Tough break, big guy.

Aw, well, Bubba, try and
look on the bright side.

What bright side?

Maybe the Earth will
explode before the first dance.

Hi, Cindy, it's Bubba.

Listen, I know it's kinda
late but I was just wonderin'

if you had a date
for the prom tonight?

Oh... gee, I-I'm sorry.

Well, what are you
doin' after the funeral?

Hello, hello.

Oh, great.

That was the last
available girl in Raytown.

Bubba, Bubba, your
troubles are over.

- I found you a date.
- Really? Who is it?

It's Becky Sue Mann.

She works with
me at Food Circus.

She said she'd be glad to go.

Now all we have to do is find
a babysitter for her three kids.

I'd rather go with somebody
who has less experience.

But, Bubba, why?
She's awfully nice.

She was voted
employee of the month.

Thanks, Aunt Naomi, but I think
I'm probably gonna stay home.

Stay home? Oh, Bubba.

I would sooner fling myself off

the Ray river bridge
than miss a prom.

Have you ever thought of
takin' a job on the su1c1de hotline?

Well, at least I am
trying to be helpful.

It isn't my fault
if Bubba is picky.

Too bad Vinton wasn't picky.

Oh, grandma, what am I gonna do?

If I don't have a date,
I'll never live it down.

Did you try callin' that
cute, little Borden girl?

Grandma, she's only 14.

Besides when I called her

she had to go to Kansas
for a family reunion.

Bubba, I'd love to help you out
but I got dungarees to presoak.

Great.

Knock, knock.

Come on in, Iola.

I just had to rush over and
show you the beautiful job

Vernette did on your cookbooks.

Come look.

Oh, my Lord. Look at this.

These are almost too nice
to keep on a drain-board.

Oh, nonsense a flip of
the dishrag cleans them up.

See, it's imitation
leather, artificial gold leaf.

Mmm, good fake is
so hard to come by.

I tell ya, that Vernette

is a regular Gutenberg
in saddle shoes.

Bye, grandma, I'm gonna
go down to the quarry

and throw stuff
in... like my body.

Okay, baby. Be back
in time for dinner.

Yes, ma'am.

What is wrong with Bubba?

Aww, bless his heart, his
prom date dumped him.

He can't find anybody
else to go with him tonight.

Oh, what a shame.

There must be lots
of girls just dying

to go out with a
handsome boy like Bubba.

Say, what about that cute
Borden girl down the street?

Are you nuts? She's only 14.

Well, she shouldn't
wear so many bracelets.

It's misleading.

Well, I gotta rush on home.

Vernette's gonna
make a souffle for lunch.

- Thelma, what about Vernette?
- What about her?

She could be Bubba's date.

Oh, Iola, I don't think so.

She might be a
whiz at bookbinding

but I think Vernette
needs a seminar

in the opposite-sex department.

Oh, no, Thelma,
she'd be perfect.

She's the right
age, she's available.

She's... a girl.

Well, maybe you're
right. He is desperate.

Oh, this is so exciting.

I have a prom
dress we can update.

It's been in my closet
for years never worn.

I can loan her my
mother's pearl choker.

Oh, this is just
like Cinderella.

We'll be the fairy godmothers.

Yeah, now all we need
are some mice that sew.

Let's get started.

♪♪ Salagadoola mechicka boola ♪♪

♪♪ Bibbidi-bobbidi-boo ♪♪

♪♪ Put 'em together
and what do you got ♪♪

♪♪ Bibbidi-bobbidi-boo ♪♪♪♪

Oh, hi, baby. Did you have
a good time at the quarry?

Nah, wasn't enough
water in there to skip rocks

let alone drown myself.

Well, turn that
frown upside down

because you have got a
ball to go to, Prince Charmin'.

Grandma, have you been
sniffin' your spray starch?

I don't have a date, remember?

Well, all things are possible
to those who believe.

Grandma, I'm not
goin' to the prom stag.

Go put on your tuxedo.
You wanna be ready.

You never know when
your dream will come true.

- Grandma.
- Go on, go on.

Before you turn into a pumpkin.

Sure, I'll do anything if
you'll stop talkin' like that.

Huh, and they all
lived happily ever after.

Well, if it isn't Cinderellie.

Shouldn't you be at home takin'
them spoolies out of your hair?

Mrs. Harper, I'm not
going to the prom.

The hell you're not?

It wouldn't work.

Bubba doesn't really
wanna go with me.

Sure he does. He's upstairs
gettin' ready right now.

He is so looking
forward to this.

Did he say that?

Well, not in so many
words but I know

once I tell him, he's
gonna be thrilled.

Mrs. Harper, you may not believe
this but when it comes to boys

I'm not that experienced.

No.

Well, I just can't believe
a talented girl like you

isn't just out there
datin' up a storm.

Every time a boy comes
around, I get all woozy

and I can't think
of anything to say.

Oh, who says you gotta talk?

All men want us to do is
sit there and smile and nod

and every once in a while
throw in a, "You're wonderful."

- I could do that.
- Of course you can.

And you'll be doin'
Bubba a big favor.

You don't want
that poor, pitiful thing

sittin' home all
alone watchin' reruns

on his prom night, now, do you?

Well, gosh. Now,
that you put it that way

I guess I should go.

I hate to see
living things suffer.

That-a-girl.

I gotta feelin' you're gonna
have a wonderful time.

Thank you, Mrs. Harper.

I'm sure this'll be a prom
night I'll never forget.

Ms. Harper, please tell
Vinton that he cannot wear

his Hush Puppies
with his tuxedo.

Why not? They're the
shoes I got married in.

You better run along, sweetie.

Bye-bye.

Who was that?

That's Iola's niece, Vernette.

Now, is she not the spittin'
image of her daddy, Vern?

Yeah, except for the pencil
mustache and his hump.

I heard she was
goin' to the prom.

I'm dyin' to know who
she'd be goin' out with.

Well, die no more.

She's goin' with Bubba.

- What?
- Oh, Ms. Harper, no.

Mama, she looks like Vern.

Well, beggars can't be choosers.

I'm sure he'll be overjoyed
that I got him a date.

He doesn't know about it yet?

No, not exactly, but
I know he's gonna

thank me when I tell him.

- Has he seen her?
- Of course, he's seen her.

You're dead.

What do you know?

You wear Hush
Puppies with a tux.

Grandma, can you
help me out with this tie?

Why, Bubba, you
look so handsome.

Yeah, almost too good
to be goin' out with...

Ow.

Come on, baby, let's
us go finish dressin'.

We wanna get out of here
before the fireworks start.

Yeah. I didn't know
they were havin'

fireworks at the prom.

Okay, grandma, I'm
dressed. What's this all about?

Well, Bubba, remember
how we were talkin' about

dreams comin' true?

Hello?

What?

They are.

You are?

We are.

Fantastic. Okay.

Grandma, you were right.
Dreams can come true.

- They can?
- That was Wanda Lynn.

That fraternity got
kicked off campus.

She's gonna go to the
prom with me after all.

What do you think about that?

I think I made a
bibbidi-bobbidi-boo-boo.

Boy, grandma, this is gonna be
one prom I'll always remember.

Yeah, me too.

I didn't tell you the best part.

Not only is Wanda
Lynn gonna go with me

but she's pickin' me up
in her brother's Trans-Am.

Oh, who wants to go to the prom

in a car with
flames painted on it?

Me.

Bubba, wait a minute.

You gotta think
this thing through.

What's there to think about?

I'm goin' to the prom with
a gorgeous cheerleader

in the hottest car.

Bubba Higgins, you
don't want that stuck-up

Wanda Lynn walkin' all over you.

Sure, I do.

Grandma, she's gonna
be here any minute.

Bubba, that corsage is
not gonna match her dress.

Mama, we're all
ready for the big night.

We certainly are.

What do you think, Ms. Harper?

You'll be fine as long as

you don't lean over
the punch bowl.

Here, Skeeter, let me pin
your corsage on for you.

Ouch. Darn.

So what did Bubba
say about Vernette?

My gosh, would
you look at the time?

You chaperones don't
want to be late. Bye-bye.

Mama, you didn't tell
him he's got a date?

Oh, don't be silly. He
knows he's got a date.

He just doesn't
know he's got two.

Bubba, we gotta talk.

Okay, but make it fast,
Wanda Lynn is on her way.

Will you forget
about Wanda Lynn?

You got more important
things to consider.

- Like what?
- Your other date.

- My other what?
- Date.

See, you were so upset
about gettin' dumped

that I fixed you up
with Vernette Boylen.

Without even askin' me?

Well, now, the fairy godmother
didn't ask Prince Charming

before she fixed him
up with Cinderella.

Well... that was
Cinderella not Vernette.

- Knock, knock.
- Oh, my Lord, she's here.

Bubba, be sure you
let that girl down easy.

Me? I had nothin'
to do with this.

Oh, Vernette,
you look so pretty.

Doesn't she, Bubba?

Okay, you two.

Come on, get close
together for the camera.

Uh, there'll be plenty
of time for pictures later.

Why don't we go to the kitchen

they've got a lot to discuss.

Grandma.

Go ahead, Bubba, don't be shy.

You sure do look nice.

So do you.

Vernette, there's
somethin' I gotta tell you.

I don't know exactly
how to say this...

What? He's not
takin' her to the prom?

He's got to. She'll just die.

I guess you heard.

Yeah.

See, I didn't know that
my grandma asked you.

So when my girlfriend
called, I told her we'd...

Oh, it's okay. You
don't have to explain.

I'm used to being left out.

Gee, I'm-I'm really sorry.

I did have a blind
date once, though.

It only lasted about a minute.

We were backing out
of the guy's driveway

when he remembered that
his car had been recalled.

I guess that's possible.

Would you excuse
me for a second?

Sure.

Hi, Wanda Lynn.

Bubba, what's
takin' you so long?

Uh, would you mind
waitin' for me in the car?

I'll be out in a minute.

I don't have a minute.

I told everybody I'd
be makin' my entrance

at exactly 7:45.

Well, see, there is...
There's this problem.

Well, when you
said you weren't goin'

my grandma set me
up with another girl.

She's inside and I'm
tryin' to let her down easy.

Oh, let's just leave.

She'll figure it out.

Well, I can't just do that.

Bubba, come on. We
got people to impress.

Is that all you care
about? Impressing people?

Well, yes.

What else is there?

For one thing, feelings.

What about Vernette in there?

Bubba, if you are
not in that Trans-Am

by the time I count to three,
I'm gonna leave without you.

One...

two...

Three, I guess you're
gonna have to make

your big entrance without me.

So long, Wanda Lynn.

What?

I've never been
dumped in my life.

Well, now I guess you
know what it feels like.

It's alright, Aunt Iola.

There's always next year.

Oh, that's what I used to say.

Now, there, there, Iola.

We could always take her picture

and tell everybody she did go.

Bubba, I thought you left.

No, I-I forgot somethin'.

What?

My date.

Vernette, uh, would
you do me the honor

of being my date
to the prom tonight?

Oh, I'd love to.

That's my boy.

Oh, I think I'm
gonna cry... again.

So long, grandma. Don't wait up.

Bye-bye, you two. Have fun.

They do make a cute
couple, don't they?

Oh, my, yes. Such
a happy ending.

Thelma, do you think

fairy tales can come
true for everyone?

Well, Iola, I don't see why not.

Let's go outside, see if we
can find you a frog to kiss.