06x46 - Just a Little Patience…Yeah…Yeah

[bunniefuu]

[bird crowing]

[cat meowing, mouse squeaking]

[elephant trumpeting,
lion roaring]

♪ Go! ♪

[opening theme playing]

♪ T-E-E-N ♪

♪ T-I-T-A-N-S ♪

♪ Teen Titans, let's go ♪

♪ Teen Titans, go ♪

[thunder rumbling]

[evil laughter]

Tonight, Titans,
I shall make history.

People will look back
on this day in despair.

The day Brother Blood,

greatest villain
in the entire world

unleashed his giant...

Blah, blah, blah.
Can we just fight already?

[shushing]

Wait. This is the part
where he reveals his evil plan.

Evil-smevil.

Let's fight!
[bird cries]

It is time to kick the butt.

We will take the name
at a later date.

Let's do this.

[all yell]

Wait, you have to be patient
so we can learn

what Brother Blood's
evil plan is before we att*ck.

Thank you, Robin.

[clears throat]
As I was saying,

today is the day Brother Blood,

greatest villain
in the entire world

unleashed his giant...

But my trigger-finger
is so itchy.

I gotta scratch it, man,
I gotta scratch it.

Yeah, we ain't had no good

villain fight for months!

We are all the revved up.

Just say "go" already.

- Titans. Wait.
- [all yell and grunt]

You were saying?

[clears throat]

Brother Blood unleashed
his giant...

[Cyborg exclaims]

- Unleashed his giant...
- [Starfire grunting]

[coughs] Unleashed his giant...

His giant...

- [buzzing]
- His giant...

[shrill scream]

[all laughing]

His giant, what?

Giant expl*si*n?

Giant lasers? Giant gorilla?

Ow! Ow! Enough!

I shall say my monologue
for someone who cares.

[all] Yay!

No! Why are you cheering?

Now will never know
what his evil plan is.

[all] Yay!

Plus nobody cares
about his evil plan anyway.

And besides, it's time for
our favorite streaming series.

They just dropped
new episodes today.

Oh, I cannot wait to watch
all the hours at once.

I've gots my diaper ready, baby.

[all cheering]

[coughing and grunting]

I am ready to commence
the watching of the binges.

Titans, your attention, please.

[all groan]

I have come to the realization

that your generation
has no patience.

Wait. You are our generation.

Nahs, mama.
He's got the old man brain.

[laughing]

- [yelling]
- [all gasp]

- [glass shattering]
- [grunting]

[panting]

Now I shall teach you all
how to achieve

ultimate patience.

With our first lesson
Building Suspense.

[imitating suspense music]

Ew. What is that thing?

I have never the seen
such ancient technology.

Is that a -inch console
television with manual dials

and a vintage walnut finish?

Yes, it is. And it only plays
shows at one specific time

on one specific channel,

and you have to wait a week

before the next episode airs.

So binge-watching is impossible.

[distorted] Impossible.

Impossible.

[all gasping]

Watching one episode at a time
will help you learn

to savor suspense

in order to achieve
ultimate patience.

[steady beep]

[suspense music playing]

[baby crying]

[all gasp]

How's it gonna end it like that?

Oh, that kid was hanging
on the cliff! On the cliff!

Play the next one!
Play the next one!

We must immediately
know the outcome.

You'll just have to wait
until next week.

In the meantime,
oh, oh, oh, savor

that sweet, sweet suspense.

Forget suspense.

I wanna savor the next episode

with my eye holes
right now, dude!

Oh. This is lame.

The lamest.

I cannot wait for the next week!

[dings, whirrs]

[mellow music playing]

Dude, have you been
standing here all week?

Titans, you have failed
lesson one.

On to lesson two,

Putting Up With Annoyances.

Another way for you to achieve

ultimate patience
is through parenting.

Since there are
no children around,

I shall play the role
of the baby.

[imitates baby] Hello, Dadda.

Hello, Mama.

Ooh.

Look at the cute little Robin.

Ooh, who's a cute little Robin?

Yes, you are. Oh, yes, you are.

[crying]

Oh, do not cry, little Robin.

[bawling]

I give the ups!

You take him.

I ain't gots time for this, yo!

You take him.

I got better things to do.

You take him.

I can't take it anymore!

Ah, that is so much better.

You have failed
yet another lesson.

There is one last lesson
for you to master

for ultimate patience.

Lesson three,

The Longer You Wait,
The Greater The Reward.

Things are better
if you wait longer.

[dings]

Take this delicious pizza,
for example.

- Ooh.
- Wow.

Currently its temperature
is a scorching degrees.

[shatters]

Now, I want you to wait
at least five minutes

for the pizza to reach its
ideal consumption temperature

of degrees.

If you chow down sooner,

your taste buds
will be annihilated

and you won't be able
to properly enjoy

food again for days.

- [all gasp]
- Five minutes...

Starting now.

[ticking]

[slurps, sighs]

[groaning]

[gulps]

[groans]

[all] I've gotta have it!

[all gasp]

[timer dings]

Ah, perfection.

Mmm. You all failed.

Again!

Since you Titans
aren't ever gonna learn

patience the easy way
or any way,

there is only
one thing left to do.

Realize we're a hopeless case
and let us go.

- So true.
- Nope.

I am going to infuse you
with the blood

of the most patient man
in the universe...

Matthew McConaughey.

That dude's, like,
mad patient, yo!

[evil laughter]

[electricity crackling]

[bubbling]

[whistle blows]

[continues laughing]

[alarm blaring]

[all groaning]

[all screaming]

Mmm. How is everyone feeling?

All, right, all right,
all right.

Yeah, buddy.

I too am feeling
the McConaughessence.

Cool.

Excellent. You are now
masters of ultimate patience.

Ah.

[slurps] Ah.

Ah.

[all] All right.
All right. All right.

[alarm blaring]

It's Brother Blood.

He's starting his evil plan.

Titans, go!

[glass shatters]

Whoa, not cool, dude.

There's a crime alert.

We can't just stay here
on the couch.

It'd be a lot cooler
if we could.

Well, we can't.

Titans, go!

[glass shatters]

You know, I've been
driving a T-car

long before anyone
told me to drive a T-car.

What? What are you
talking about?

And why are we in the desert?

I didn't do it to be cool.

I just liked it.

Brother Blood is in the city!
Turn around.

Patience, brother.

I'm taking the long way.

- [loud expl*si*n]
- [people screaming]

[laughing]

People of Jump City,

behold my diabolical plan!

Ah, a giant robot.

[Brother Blood]
Yes, a giant robot.

Too bad your impatience
cost you the knowledge

of my diabolical plan
to destroy the city.

We are taking you down,
Brother Blood.

Titans, go!

Now, hold on a minute there,
partner.

Partner? We've gotta go.

Aren't you forgetting
about the lessons, chief?

You know the building of...

[whirring]

- ...suspense.
- He's destroying the city!

[people screaming]

[grunting angrily]

Now where you think he's going?

Where are any of us going?

Whoa!

Mind blown.

[yelling]

[laughing]

Oh, this is too easy.

[grunting]

[screaming]

- [gasps]
- [laughing]

Oh. [screaming]

It doesn't look good
for Robin, bruh.

I wonder if he will
do the surviving.

[Robin screams]

[laughing]

[screaming]

The suspense is building
like crazy.

Oh, yeah. That's what
I'm talking about, man.

A little help here, quick!

Patience, brother.

[soft music playing]

[engine revs softly]

Phew. [laughs]

No, no! I want down!

On our way.

Great. I'm losing
consciousness.

Patience, friend Robin.

Losing air.

[gasping] Quick.

[panting]

This is a lot harder
than I thought.

[beeping]

- [powers down]
- [Brother Blood grunts]

Oh, dear.

[coughing]

Looks like our boy Robin
was right after all.

All you need to win a fight,
the ultimate patience.

[all] All right.
All right. All right.

[wheezing] Help.