07x20 - What a Boy Wonders

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Teen Titans Go!". Aired: April 23, 2013 – present.*
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Animated series that follows the adventures of the young Titans: Beast Boy, Robin, Cyborg, Raven and Starfire.
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07x20 - What a Boy Wonders

Post by bunniefuu »

[bird crowing]

[cat meowing,
mouse squeaking]

[elephant trumpeting,
lion roaring]

♪ Go!

Opening theme playing...

♪ T-E-E-N

♪ T-I-T-A-N-S

♪ Teen Titans, let's go!

♪ Teen Titans, go!

[dramatic music plays]

Titans.

Welcome to book club!

As you know the book we'll be
discussing today,

is my very own
autobiographical memoir.

What a Boy Wonders.

I'll tell you what I wonder,
who would want to read this?

[glass breaking]

Are you telling me that
none of you read my book.

- [Starfire] I did not.
- [Beast Boy] I ain'ts reading that poop.

The whole point of a book club
is for everyone to read the book,

so we can all discuss it.

Maybe we can discuss
another book?

Like something fun.

Yeah, you know the exact
opposite of your book.

But we were supposed to
discuss my book.

No one wants to hear about
your dumb book.

Let me tells you about
my favorite book instead.

Dr. Doo-doo Little.

Um, don't you mean
Dr. Dolittle?


No, son. Now sit down and
listen up.

[Beast Boy] Long ago, one of the
greatest animal doctor of all time,


Doctor doo-doo Little.

[glass breaking]

- [screams]
- [cawing]

You see, my dude had an
extraordinary ability.


He could talk to animals.

Doctor the Doo-doo Little,
We have got the big problem.

What is it parrot?

Half of the animals in the
jungle are...

they're backed up.

[gasps] Constipation?

That'd be my specialty.

[monkey chittering]

Oh, my belly!

I haven't been regular
for weeks.

Fear not. Doo-doo Little
is here to help you.

[rumbling]

Ah, I see.

It sounds like
you've been eating

too many of them bananas
again, haven't you?

I'm a monkey. Of course
I'm eating lots of bananas.

[chittering, groans]

The squawk.
But I thought

the bananas
were good for the digestive system.

True. True. They is.

But them unripe bananas
can actually cause constipation.

You see, they've got
too much of that starch.

That'll clog you right up.

But don't worry. These here
prunes are filled with fiber.

They's the natural
enemy of starch.

- [stomach growls and farts]
- [glass breaking]

Ooh, I hear them gears
turning again.

[farts] Oh, thank you,
Dr. Doo-doo Little.

[farts] I gotta go.

[chittering]

[Beast Boy] And so,
Dr. Doo-doo Little went about


curing all the animals from
their constipation.


[low growl]

[squeals]

[trumpeting]

But after a hard day of making
sure all them animals went,


Dr. Doo-doo Little realized
that he forgot to go himself.


The squawk! Uh-oh.
Better the hurry.

[grunting]

[Beast Boy] Alas, all of the
jungle bathrooms was occupied.


Uh-oh. I thinks I doo-doo'ed
a little.

That is not how the story goes.

I bet you didn't even read
the book jacket.

True. True. [groans]

So let me tell you about
my book.

It's a timeless tale about a boy
whose only wish is to fight crime.

I've got a timeless tale
for you,

and unlike Robin's book
it won't put you to sleep.

[Raven] Once upon a time,
there was a genie,


who lived in a cool pad for
thousands of years. Until one day...


[rumbling]

Rub a dub dub.
Get out of that tub!

[dramatic music plays]

Uh, who are you?

We are the teeths.

Mm-mmm.
You mean thieves?

No. teeths.

See, I got teeths.

And I got teeths.

And I got six teeths.
That's forty teeths.

See, we came down that hole
to seize the treasure.

But now we're stuck down here.

Oh, that's okay.

Because I'm giving you
three wishes.

Ooh. Then I want a flying carpet,
so we can fly right out of here.

Oh, come on. You can wish
for something better than that.

How about a flying van?

That way you can haul
all this treasure

and be the envy of every
soccer mom in town.

Totally, yo.

Genie, I wish for a flying van!

[murmuring chant]

- Sweet. Ha-ha.
- [revving]

[van neighs]

Hey! You tricked me.

Ha-ha. I know Pretty funny,
right?

Well, your shlik triksh
aren't gonna work on me.

What was that?

I said your shlik triksh
aren't gonna work on me.

Yeah, it's really hard to understand
you with all those gaps in your teeth.

Ah, I wish you could understand
what I'm saying.

Well, I understood that.

Hey, what... What?

Now that you've got more teeths,
I can understand you perfectly.

That's two wishes down
and one to go.

[frustrated scream]

My turn.

Careful, bruh.
This is our last wish.

Make sure to think it through.

[blows raspberry]
No problem.

I wish for all of us to be magically
transported to a very cool pad

with all this treasure.

Your wish is my command.

See, it worked! We got a
cool pad and all the treasure.

But where exactly is we?

Ha-ha. I'm free!

[van neighs]

[all shouting] Help!
Let us out! Help! Let us out!

And the moral of the story is
always brush your teeth.

Nope. Not even close.

Have any of you even
read a single book?

I have. But in this book, the
ever after is not lived so happily.

[Starfire] Once upon a time,
there was the DJ named Jekyll.


Yo. Yo. You are listening to
T-T-G-O radio,

and boy do I have something
special for you today.

An exclusive track from the
world-famous Beast Boy.

Boom!

[upbeat instrumental music]

[Starfire] But as soon as the
music hit the ears of DJ Jekyll


she would undergo the changes.

When I hear the b*at,
it takes ahold of me

and I feel a sudden urge
to rhyme.

I am Hyde!

♪ k*ll a b*at with my rhymes
I hurt it like I'm mad at it ♪


♪ Leave it battered and bruised
Tossed it up in the attic ♪


♪ I take a break have a second
Right back to the dramatics ♪


♪ An appetite for destruction
A craving I can't explain! ♪


♪ I hear a b*at if it's bangin'
I gotta 'cause it some pain ♪


♪ I-am-Hyde!

Ahhh! She just k*lled my b*at.

This is your girl Jekyll
turning up the heat

with this next hot track from
Mecha Mix master, Cyborg!

[upbeat instrumental music]

[low growl]

♪ k*ll a b*at with my rhymes,
I hurt it like I'm mad at it ♪


♪ Leave it battered and bruised
Tossed it up in the attic ♪


♪ I hit the b*at if it's bangin'
I got to 'cause it some pain ♪


♪ I-am-Hyde!

Oh, man. I spent a month on that
b*at and she straight up k*lled it.

[sobbing]

- Mama, help.
- Hyde is out of control.

We have to do something
to save our beats.

She's k*lling them, yo.

Then we need to create a b*at
that's iller than any b*at ever created.

A b*at that defies her
venomous flow.

A b*at that cannot be k*lled.

Let's get to work.

[upbeat techno music plays]

[expl*si*n]

I am here to k*ll your beats.

[all gasp]

♪ k*ll a b*at with my rhymes,
I hurt it like I'm mad at it ♪


Oh, no. She's k*lling
our beats. [sobbing]

Quick, hit her with the drop.

♪ An appetite for destruction
A craving I can't explain! ♪


[trap music b*at drops]

[indistinct]

[indistinct singing]

It's working!

There will never be a doper
rapper than me!

I-am-Hyde!

- Woo-hoo!
- That's wassup!

As much as I love
that interpretation, Star,

it couldn't be more wrong!

For an accurate account,
my book...

No, thanks.

I've got a better book.

One you can interpret
however you want,

'cause it's super crazy.

[Cyborg] Once upon a time, this
dude named Alice, found himself


in a magical place
called Wonderland.


Just in time for...

A mad tea party!
Woo-hoo-hoo!

I'm the Mad Hatter, yo.

I'm strict cray.

Yeah, boy... [laughs]

Please join us or don't.
It really doesn't matter.

- [exclaims]
- [laughs]

Y'all seem all right,
I accept your invitation.

[cat snarls]
Excuse the me.

I am doing the sitting here.

Oh, sorry. Kitty.

I am not the Kitty, I am the
full grown Cheshire cat.

Okay, I'll just sit over here
then and check out the menus.

Tacos, tofu, trout, turnips.
Tapioca?

Why does everything on this
menu start with the letter T?

Because, yo,
it's a Mad "T" party.

You can only order foods
that begin with the letter T.

[laughs maniacally]

Whatever you do,
do not upset the chef.

She has the issues with
the management of anger.

Here she comes.

The queen of hearts.

Greetings, unloyal subjects.

May I take your order?

I'll have the tuna tartare,
and for dessert, the tiramisu.

I will have the tots of tater.

I'll have the tempeh please.

What kind of sauce?

Tahini.

And for you?

Yeah, I'll have a burger.

- [trumpeting]
- [glass breaking]

[all gasp]

How rude.

Sorry. I'll have a burger,
please.

Did anyone explain
the rules to him?

Sorry, Your Majesty.

Alice, bruh. At least make
it a turkey burger.

I don't want a turkey burger.

I want a bacon barbeque beef
burger on a brioche bun.

You know how I feel about rules
being broken!

Great. You've upset the queen.

Off with their heads!

And they all lived happily
ever after.

Okay, that's it.

We've listened to all of your
factually incorrect retellings.

Now it's time for me
to tell you about my book.

- Okay.
- Really?

- Yeah, sure. Why not.
- Great.

[clears throat] Chapter one.

[Robin] A boy wonders how did
he become so ruggedly handsome...


- [Beast Boy] Ah, man. I ain't into this one.
- [Starfire] This is Fiction.

[Robin] Hey, where are you
guys going?
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