07x35 - Belly Math

[bunniefuu]

[bird crowing]

[cat meowing, mouse squeaking]

[elephant trumpeting,
lion roaring]

♪ Go!

Theme music playing...

♪ T-E-E-N ♪

♪ T-I-T-A-N-S ♪

♪ Teen Titans, let's go ♪

♪ Teen Titans, go ♪

[Robin] Hold it
right there, Calculator.

[The Calculator] Well,
well, the Teen Titans.

[Titans laughing]

Why are you all laughing?

I'm sorry.

I know we're supposed to keep
it together and everything,

but that outfit is ridiculous.

Yeah, man, you can't put on
a bunch of school supplies,

and expect us
to take you serious.

Well, you should, because I can
compute complex algorithms,

in the blink of an eye
using this solar powered

super suit.

So let me get this straight.

You built yourself a super suit
that only works during the day?

[Laughs]

Listen, I don't have
to take this.

I have an evil plan
to get back to.

Well, your plan stops here.

Now, hand over the stolen tech.

Don't make us
take you down, dude.

Ha! I'd like to say you try.

I can calculate your every move.

Oh, yeah?

Then calculate this.

[roars]

Calculating acceleration.

[shrieks]

Calculate this!

Calculating angle of att*ck.

[gasps and shrieks]

Eat magic fist.

Calculating velocity.

- [thuds]
- Argh!

Ooh. My bad.

Ha! Too easy.

Oh, yeah. Then let's see
if you can dodge these

heat seeking missiles.

Calculating trajectory.

Oh, mans.
We can'ts even touch this guy.

That's because only math
can defeat him.

No problem. We got this.

Okay. So if he's traveling
at miles per hour,

and we're traveling
at miles per hour,

at which point do our fists
hit his face?

Hmm. One, two... Hold on.

I'm going to need
a pen and paper.

Hook me up with some of that
loose leaf too, mama.

Come on, Titans, Hurry it up.

We are going as fast
as we can, Robin.

Okay. Just gotta double
check our work and got it!

[car honks]

Oh, no, he got away.

[Robin] Listen up, Titans.

If we're going to stop
The Calculator,

we need to become better
at math than he is.

But how is we supposed
to do that?

The dude is literally
a calculator.

- It's simple.
- [clicks]

[Titans screaming]

Today, I'm going
to be teaching you

a new, faster method,

for doing mathematics,
known as Common Core math.

You are teaching us
the belly math, Robin?

We don't needs
to learn that, fool.

'Cause we already knows
we got them good

six packs going on.

Check it.

[announcer] The wash board,
the cheese grater,

the packs on packs
on packs on packs.

No, Titans.

Common Core math
doesn't have to do

with your core muscles.

It's a method of learning
that will help you all

become better at math.

Wait a minute.

I know what Robin's
talking about now.

He's trying to teach us
that math

the government made up
just to confuse people.

What?

[gasps] Is that the true?

Yes, it's true
that Common Core math

was developed by
government educators

and has been given
a bad reputation from parents,

who are confused
by its methodology.

But I assure you, Titans,
you can handle it!

After all, six-year-olds
can understand

Common Core math.

And to demonstrate
how easy it is,

we shall start with the most

basic Common Core lesson,
the ten frame.

Ten frame?
Like in bowling?

- Bowling is the best, yo.
- [all cheering]

This isn't about bowling!

[all groaning]

The ten frame is simply
a two by five rectangular grid,

into which circular counters
are drawn to demonstrate

numbers less than
or equal to ten.

Man, that's some straight up
gobbledygook right there.

I too, am confused
by the gooking of the gobbley.

So instead of us using numbers
we're supposed to draw circles?

I thoughts we were doing math,
not arts and crafts.

Don't get hung up
on the circles.

They're only there
to represent number values,

and can be whatever shape
you want them to be.

Oh, really?

Then can we change them
to your baby hands?

[all laughing]

[sarcastically] Ha, ha, ha.

No, you cannot change them
into baby hands.

But you said they could be
whatevers we wants.

And we choose the baby hands.

[all chanting] Baby hands!
Baby hands! Baby hands!

Stop! Gimme that!

We're just having
some fun, Robin.

Common Core math
isn't supposed to be fun.

It's supposed to be boring
and educational.

Now, let's forget about
the ten frame and move on.

[Beast Boy] But we still
haven't learned nothing, yo.

That's okay,
because I guarantee

you'll understand

this next Common Core lesson,
which uses line segments

as anchors.

Anchors? Like the ones
the pirates use?

Ooh! Robin is teaching us
pirate math.

Yeah, boy!

Argh! Let's use our pirate math
to divide up this treasure.

Here you go, lads.
One for you.

One for you and one for me.

Avast, the two doubloons do not
equal the shimmery necklace.

Argh! Are you trying
to cheat us, matey?

Nay! I would never
even dream of cheating

the likes of you.

[squawks] Cheating you, he is!

We shall run you
through for this!

[gasps]

[all grunting]

Stop, stop stop! [Groans]

This lesson doesn't involve
filthy pirates!

These anchors are simply used
to break big numbers,

into smaller number bonds,
to simplify the problem.

Well, that problem doesn't
look simplified to me.

Indeed, it looks
the way more complicated.

Yeah, man, you can't be
adding in a bunch of numbers

all willy nilly like that.

It's super confusing, yo.

Look, the point of this lesson
is to help your brain visualize

number relationships.

Relationships?

So you want us
to date numbers now?

I would consider dating the two
but not the three.

Girlfriend!

[Starfire] For the three
is the odd number.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Listen, Titans!

If you want to stop
The Calculator,

you need to take
this Common Core

math stuff seriously.

But we are taking it
the seriously, Robin.

Then why aren't you guys
getting this?

Because this math
is overly complicated

and way too confusing.

All them parents was right.

No, they're not.

Six-year-olds can understand
Common Core math.

Wait a second.

Ah, that's it.

- What's it?
- You guys just need
six-year-old brains.

- I can make that happen.
- Great.

[chanting]

Oh! I can talk like the goat.

The baa! The baa!

Look, look, look, look
how fast I can run!

Check out my dance!

Check out my dance!
Check out my dance! Hey!

What? I'm not touching you.

I'm not touching you.

See? I'm not touching you.

Ooh, look an apple.

[Robin] High energy,
short attention spans.

Yup. You definitely have
the minds of six-year-olds.

Now let's see if you can learn
Common Core math.

[electronic montage
music playing]

[Robin] Congratulations, Titans!

You now have the one thing
no parent in America has.

A basic understanding
of Common Core math.

And it's turned our
six-year-old brains

into calcumalators.

Quick, Quick.
Give me the math problem.

Okay, Star.

What's the square root of , ?

It's . .

That's right!

[beeping]

Uh-oh. Crime alert.

What is it? What is it?

The Calculator has just been
spotted downtown.

Titans go.

- [sirens wailing]
- [people screaming]

[laughing]

Your number is up, Calculator.

Oh, good.

You Titans have arrived
just in time for the unveiling

of my master plan.

Behold.

The Earth Brake.

With this device,

I will stop the Earth
from rotating,

causing the sun to shine
endlessly on Jump City,

making my solar powered
suit unstoppable!

But if you do that,
temperatures will

skyrocket like... [whooshes]

And half of the Earth
will be the covered

in the darkness.

[screams]

Those are calculated risks
I'm willing to take.

[laughs maniacally]

Well, you can forget it.

Please. You zeroes couldn't
stop me before.

What makes you think
you can stop me now?

Because now we got some
good six-year-old brains.

Which have totally made us
hard core for the Common Core.

Titans, go!
Calculate our att*ck.

Okay, okay, first I'll measure
the wind speed so I can

distract him with a spit ball.

Ooh, and then I shall calculate
his reaction time,

so I can blind him
with my stickers.

Oh, oh, oh, then on, then on,
then on my turn,

I'll figure out his distance
so I can hit him with

some water balloons.

And... And I'll determine
the force I need,

to trip him
with my toy car. [Laughs]

Finally, I'll finish him
off with a perfectly timed

flying kick.

[exclaims in slow motion]

Ha! Nice try.

But you're going to have to do
better than that to defeat me.

Those moves weren't meant
to defeat you.

No, they were only meant
to get you in the shade,

to power down your solar suit.

- Ha. What?
- [beeping]

[powers down]

No!

So what do we do with him now?

Oh, I know.

Look, look.
[laughs mischievously]

He's a bozo

[all laughing]

Cut that out!

[Titans mocking The Calculator]

It's not funny.