03x09 - Sam Take a Walk

[bunniefuu]

Why are we here?

I know, I'm a monster.

If I'm feeling really evil,
I'll take you to a fancy lunch after.

How you feeling, honey?

Not bad for a heartless garbage person.

I know.

Breakups are so hard.

You made a kind and brave choice.

I'd like to think I'd make that choice,
but we both know I'm not that strong.

Mom.

I mean, it does really suck.

And maybe it was the right thing
to do, but...

I just can't get him out of my head.

No matter what I do.

So, Zahid...

interesting name.
Where's your family from?

Vermont.

We moved here when I was in sixth grade.

But we still head back every fall
to peep them leaves.

♪ Some say love is a burning thing... ♪

It's like he's always there.

Hey, Sam. Play a little ultimate
in my downtime. I'm a beast!

Hey! Ow!

You were right,
this does take my mind off things.

Ow!

♪ See, honey, I saw love ♪

♪ You see, it came to me ♪

♪ It put its face up to my face
So I could see ♪

Everything reminds me of him.

I just miss him.

It sucks.

I know it does.

I may have something
to make you feel better.

Check it out.

"Casey rocks."

For your track meet.

These are gonna look great
in fingerless gloves.

Nothing looks good in fingerless gloves.

- Uh-huh. Casey rocks!
- Oh, my God.

Casey rocks!

Calm down.

What am I looking at?

Justice.

Tiny little person up against a monster.

I did a lot of that kind of art
during my parents' divorce. You're angry.

No, I'm not.

No, it's good, channel it.

My best friend said he doesn't wanna
be friends with me anymore,

but I'm better off without him.

And I had sex so I'm not angry.

Cool. You're still gripping that pencil
awfully hard.

It's just how I hold my pencil.

Okay, listen up, pups.

Midterms are upon us.

Now, we live in a time

where a lot of bad sh*t is happening.

Your mission, if you so choose it,

and you kind of have to
if you wanna pass,

is to create a single piece of art

that sheds light on a political cause

that you are passionate about.

Oh, my God. I have so many ideas,
how am I gonna pick?

Factory farming, right? No, homelessness.

Oh, but abortion, though.

I'm not very political.

Can I have one of your leftovers?

Nonsense.

Sam, if you have a heart,

you're political.

If you don't, you're a jellyfish.

Dig deep, sheep!

Give into the dark side, Sam,

what makes you furious.

The Magellanic penguins of Argentina,

it's the single largest penguin colony
in the world.

It's like New York City for penguins.

- How cool.
- And it's a bloodbath.

Oh, dear.

Normally, baby penguins have
a one-in-three chance of survival

because of predators, starvation...

Let's talk about something more sunny,
yeah?

And thanks to humans and climate change,

thousands more are freezing to death
because of increased rainfall.

I watched a video of a duck drinking out
of a baby bottle.

It was pretty cute.

The odds were already
stacked against them and now this?

I have to spend all weekend working
on this project.

Oh. Um...

Well, I was hoping that maybe we could
spend some time together this weekend,

you know, since your family will be away
for the track meet.

Sorry, this is too important.
I have to get this right.

Okay, Sam, enough.

We had a very special time the other day,
and you haven't even mentioned it.

I mean, ever since that early afternoon
in your dorm, everything has changed.

We're a pair of adults now.

Okay, but look.

Aww. See? Now that's better.

Look at those little guys
just taking a nap in their nest.

They're dead. It's a mass grave.

Seriously?

Sorry, didn't see you there.

Come on, let me study.

I'm not gonna be able to get anything
done this weekend, so I gotta...

You nervous about regionals?

Yeah, of course.

But I'm mostly just...

Sad about Evan?

Look, we're friends first.
You can talk to me about it if you want.

I know.

Not about this.

Sorry.

It's okay.

I'm biased anyway.

Okay, bye.

Bye.

So is she your girlfriend now?

Jesus, Sam! Warn a person.

That I'm sitting on the couch?

Okay. I'm sitting on the couch.

So are you a couple?

I am not having this conversation
with you, ever.

But...

I mean...

if we were, would that...

be a problem with you?

What? No, why?

You'd be like Sphen and Magic.

Who?

Sphen and Magic,

the two male gentoo penguins
at the Sea Life Sydney Aquarium.

They courted each other and built a nest.

Aww. Cuties.

When a negligent
heterosexual penguin pair

left their egg exposed to the elements,

the aquarium staff gave it
to Sphen and Magic.

They have a baby now.
Its name is Sphengic.

Look at him.

Hello, you.

I think they could have done better
with the name.

Isn't your penguin named Stumpy?

Exactly, something good.

Thanks.

For what?

For not being weird about this.

Or being weird, but in your own way.

You're welcome. Now, can you please
leave me alone? I'm kind of busy.

- I like your bloody penguins.
- Thank you.

Is that everything?

Pretty much.

We're supposed to stay at your dad's
cabin. If you want, I can stay at a hotel.

No, it's fine, and I think it's too late
to get a room anyway.

It'll be nice for us to go through
all the stuff we have there anyway.

- Honey!
- Let's go, Casey!

Your first weekend alone.
I can't believe it.

Are you sure you don't wanna come
to the meet with us?

Yes, I have too much to do.

Ooh, that's very bloody.

What's the rope for?

Rope?

That's a large intestine.
A falcon just disemboweled that one.

Okay, you seem a little dark and stormy.

You sure you wanna be here by yourself?

Yes, there's something terrible going on
in Argentina,

and I need the quiet so I can concentrate

on the most effective way
to portray the carnage.

You're not making me feel better.

Okay, if you need anything,

- this is a list of emergency numbers.
- Hmm. Why's animal control on here?

Remember when the raccoon had babies
in our basement?

- Things happen.
- Ugh. The sounds. I'm never having kids.

Okay, all your meals are in the fridge,
labeled, of course.

And remember,
the front left burner knob is...

tricky, so you gotta push it
all the way in when you turn it, okay?

Otherwise, it won't light, but the house
will continue to fill up with gas

until the whole place is filled up,

and then even a tiny little spark, boom!

The roof is blown sky-high along
with my baby boy

all the way to heaven.

- Or hell. We don't know his life.
- Okay.

I won't do whatever you just said.

Let's go, guys. We're gonna be late
to drop Casey off at the bus.

Sure you don't wanna drive there with us?

No. Oddly, I prefer the company of 30
screaming girls to you two lumps.

You wanna walk to the bus? You could walk.
Is that what you wanna do?

Hey, at least that little guy's escaping.

He's not escaping.
He's committing su1c1de.

The carnage around him
pushed him over the edge.

You try walking on eyeballs.

Oh, God.

Are Honeycrisps a new kind of apple?

I'm usually a Pink Lady lady...

but these are nice.

Well, they're both good apples.

It'll be nice to see the cabin again.

We haven't been there for so long.

- I wonder why we stopped going.
- 'Cause you didn't wanna go anymore.

What?

That's not what happened.
It just didn't work for us anymore.

Nobody ever got any sleep,

and I was the one having to deal
with grumpy kids all week.

Well, I slept fine.

You can't throw that out the window.

It's biodegradable.

It's illegal.

Hey, you can't just be hurtling down
the highway and throw that out the window.

What if it hits a person in back of us?

Don't do it.

Please, don't do it.

Oy!

The problem with the Magellanic
penguins is an extremely frustrating one.

The penguin babies are too big for
their parents to sit on to keep warm...

If you have any questions at all,
you can please find me, I'm your guy.

Name's Zahid, starts with a Z,

ends with a beautiful friendship.

I wrote my Insta-handle
on that receipt there.

It's brown sugar underscore doing it.

...but too young
to have their waterproof feathers yet.

I'm gonna sleep in the bunk room.

Sounds great.

I just hugged or high-fived
at least 63 people on the way in.

Do you have any hand sanitizer?

Yeah, nerd, I think Elsa
might have put some in here.

Thank you.

Look what Sam made me.

Who's Sphen and Magic?

Gay penguins in Australia.

He told me about them last night.

Wait, did...

Did you tell Sam about us?

Not really.

- Not really?
- No.

Well, I didn't tell him anything.
He just saw us at the door. So...

What would be the big deal?
He's my brother.

The big deal
is I don't feel like broadcasting

my personal business to the world.

Okay, jeez.

No, it's not okay.

There's Claire. I'm gonna go say hi.

Hello, beautiful.

- Hi.
- Hi.

What's wrong?

Whoa..

I know.

- Poor Evan.
- Yeah.

Poor you.

Kinda.

Izzie is a villain.

Oh, come on.

I'm so confused.

'Cause I miss Evan so much.

But when I'm with Izzie,
it's so exciting and...

kissing her was...

amazing.

And when it's just the two of us,
she acts like she's so into me,

but when we're around anyone else,
it's like she's afraid to be around me.

Sounds like my cat.

Casey, whoever you are with
should treat you like the precious,

precious princess you are!

Why am I even having this conversation
with you?

Hey.

Can we talk?

I'm gonna go. I have dinner with the team.

- Say hi to them for me.
- You can tell them yourself.

There is a party tonight in Tanya's room.

You're invited, too.

You know, if you're cool.

I'm sorry.

This is just...

all so new, you know?

Yeah, it is.

And I don't know what any of this means.

- Or who I am.
- Look, I'm confused, too.

I know.

I just think that...

I need to take it slow.

But it was really nice hanging out
in your room the other night.

And I really like hanging out.

Me too.

Do you maybe wanna go
to that party together later?

Um...

Sure.

Okay. Cool.

Look.

Look what I found.

Huh.

"Sam Takes a Walk." I remember that.

I loved making this so much,

I think I actually got more out
of it than he did.

No. He learned a lot from that game.

I always got stuck
being the neighbor's dog.

- Biscuit.
- Biscuit.

That's crazy.

You wanna play?

Yeah, sure, why not?

You want a glass of wine?

I do, but I didn't bring any.

I did.

I know you.

Sam! Great news.

Now that we're adults,
you know, since sex,

I decided enough moping around.

It's time to get back
in the job applying game.

And I already have an interview.

It's for a nanny job,
so it's not exactly the internship

at the mayor's office I was envisioning,
but it's a start.

That's great. Congratulations.

Well, what do we have going on here?

I can't get this Magellanic penguin
assignment right.

Everything I do seems...

not important enough
to make a difference.

Do these dead penguins
make you wanna stop using hairspray?

Oh, you wouldn't like me
without hairspray.

All right, that's it.
Up and at 'em, mister.

- What?
- We're going for a walk.

My mee-maw said there's nothing
a brisk stroll can't fix.

Except for glaucoma, it can't fix that.

Grab a hoodie.
It's a little nippy out there.

Ugh. Now my lovely threads are all soaked.

Sam, can I borrow a shirt?

Guess what I... what are you doing?

- What? Nothing.
- Were you checking the knob?

Oh, it was a little loose.

And, you know, one spark
can send the roof sky high.

My mom sent you, didn't she?

Uh... well, she was a little bit worried.

Spy!

Sam, look, I understand that you're upset.

Yeah, I am upset.

I'm really, really, really, really upset.

But I'm not just upset at you.

I get why you're having an issue.

I mean, you could practically
take this thing

to Antiques Roadshow at this point.

Look at this.

It's thicker than a deck of cards, man.

Sam,
I don't have you on the schedule today.

I came to give Zahid his shirt back,
but I'm too mad to go talk to him.

I get that.

I walked into a Chili's the other day,

saw my ex-wife,
turned around, walked right out.

That Chili's is hers now.

You take your time.

Zahid...

I know you don't wanna
be my friend anymore,

and I don't care!

But I keep being reminded of you,
and it's making it very hard

for me to draw dead baby penguins.

I even knew you were working today

because I memorized
your stupid school and work schedule.

But I want every reminder of you gone.

So here's your stupid shirt back.

Not to mention everyone keeps
treating me like I'm a baby.

They don't even think I know how to turn
a burner off and on, which I do!

On, off!

Uh, Sam.

On, off! On...

Magellanic penguin chicks aren't
built for heavy rains.

Their feathers aren't waterproof.

Maybe if the weather had changed
more gradually, they could have adapted.

But it was so sudden.

So how could they?

I don't know, Newton,
looks like enemy territory.

Tonight, we dance with them.
Tomorrow, we crush them.

Does look kind of fun.

Oh, sh**t, I forgot you hate fun, though.

So maybe let's go back to the room,
and we can study something, anything.

Go.

Hey, guys.

♪ I don't wanna take from you ♪

♪ I don't need an IOU ♪

♪ Keep your pocket superglued ♪

♪ I got nothin', you got nothin' ♪

♪ Be my Yoko Ono muse ♪

♪ Serotonin, bulletproof ♪

What are you doing?

Nothing. I'm... I'm dancing.

We talked about this.

I don't need to advertise
my personal business to the world.

I'm not trying...

I just...

I need water.

♪ Keep your money
You can take my time ♪

♪ I don't need it ♪

♪ A car to drive alone ♪

♪ I don't need it ♪

♪ A house that ain't a home ♪

You used your placement behaviors,
you get an extra turn.

All right, I hope I roll a three.

I wanna stop off at the Guptas.

They were such nice neighbors.

Remember how good it smelled
when Sarita was cooking?

Oh, she was such a good cook.

- Pick a card.
- Okay.

- Nah!
- I know.

"You hurt Casey's feelings,
and now she's sad.

What can you do to cheer her up?"

I'm gonna say take her out
for ice cream with the entire family.

That is an option.

We would also have accepted
"Do a crazy dance to make her laugh"

or "give her a pillow to punch."

sh*t, have we been accidentally
encouraging all this punching?

Well, it's too late now.

- Move ahead four spaces.
- Okay.

But why is it always four?

Well, it's Sam's favorite number,
of course.

Huh.

All right.

"It's time for a haircut.

What do you need to be ready?"

Hmm.

Remember when you used to cut my hair?

Yeah. But now you prefer Eddie.

No, I don't.

I loved when you cut my hair.

I don't know why it stopped.

I know. We got busy.

- I shouldn't have stopped.
- No, it's okay.

I used to be at the top
of your priority list.

And we had the kids,
and I went down a little bit.

It happens.

But then, I always...

What?

I don't know, I always thought that

when they didn't need you
as much that I would...

go back to the top, but by then I...

I think I wasn't even on it at all.

Where am I on your list?

Well, I'm trying to get you off it.

But I can't.

I can't do this.

I'm sorry. I just...

I would love this to happen.

I would, but you...

just remember,
like, a couple months ago when we...

you know,

and then the next morning...

you couldn't even talk to me and I just...

I can't do that again where we get close
and then you freeze me out.

I understand.

If this is gonna happen,
I just want us to be thoughtful about it

and for it to be something...

that we really choose.

- I understand.
- Okay.

- I got it.
- Okay.

I'm gonna go to bed.

- Good night.
- Good night.

♪ Open your eyes ♪

♪ Free your mind ♪

♪ Open your eyes... ♪

Oh, Casey, did you brush your teeth?

'Cause I think I'm to do some flossing.

Now, come on, let's see those fancy
private school moves, Gardner.

Come on.

♪ Open your eyes ♪

♪ Truth you will find ♪

♪ Consciousness, you will rise ♪

There is some good news
about Magellanic penguins.

I'm an idiot.

You're not.

I am pining after this confusing
hot and cold mess of a person.

I just never should have done any of this.

You're right.

You should have pushed these feelings
down, down, down forever

and never looked at them. That's healthy.

Shut up.

If they can survive the rain
and grow up...

their feathers change.

They transform.

They become waterproof.

That helps them be more resilient.

C-A-S-E-Y!

- Casey! Casey! She's my guy!
- Whoo!

- I made that up.
- It's catchy.

- Hmm!
- No butter, way too much salt.

Perfect.

C-A-S-E-Y!

- Casey! Casey!
- Casey! Casey! She's my guy!

- Whoo!
- Whoo! Let's go, Case!

On your marks!

♪ I feel the motion and kiss that wind ♪

♪ Running and running
It's a race with no end, no more ♪

♪ But I like it ♪

♪ So bring me closer
Till I know it's the edge ♪

♪ I got a minute till it's over my head
Oh, no, no ♪

Let's go, let's go, let's go!

Set.

♪ His feet won't touch the ground
I'm running it, running it down ♪

♪ Running it, running it down ♪

- Hey, good, go! She's flying!
- Go, Gardner! Go, go!

♪ Running it, running it down ♪

♪ Running it, running it down ♪

♪ Running it, running it down ♪

Go, go, go, go, go!

♪ Running it, running it down ♪

♪ We're running it, running it down ♪

Whoa!

Good job, Casey!

She used to be ours!

Oh, she's got the heart of a Newton Owl!

Casey!

- Yes! Way to go, Casey!
- Whoo!

Yes, yes, yes!

You looked good out there, Newton.

Whoo!

There you are.

How was it?

I'm just gonna hold you like this
for about 20 minutes.

It went fine. I finished my art project.

I found the missing piece
that made it come to life,

- or I mean, death.
- Wow, that is cool!

We missed you, buddy.
Your sister crushed her race.

Of course she did.

- Thanks for the drawing.
- You're welcome.

What drawing?

The drawing of you butting out.

- Whew! Quite a weekend.
- Oh, yeah, I'm exhausted.

So I was thinking, um...

your hair is getting kind of long.

If you want I could... I mean...
Would you like me to cut it?

Sure, yeah.

Okay. I'll get my scissors.

So...

when I'm doing this
for a kid on the spectrum,

I usually ask if they want headphones
or a popsicle.

So do you want headphones or a popsicle?

No, thank you.

Okay.

♪ 'Cause all the days
They pass us by ♪

♪ And all the nights
They wander on by... ♪

I miss this.

Me too.

♪ I can't keep up with my own life... ♪

I just wanted to apologize.

I'm sorry for causing a scene
with the karaoke machine

and starting a fire and a rainstorm.

It's not entirely your fault.

There isn't usually gas hooked up
to the floor model stoves,

but someone might be living here,

while they're weathering a bad time
in their marriage.

Who?

Me, Sam.

Oh.

For what it's worth,
I think Zahid is making a huge mistake.

By not being my friend anymore?

Well, yes, but...

also by eloping with Gretchen.

Choosing a partner isn't something
to be taken lightly,

believe you me.

What? He's getting married? When?

Tomorrow, 25th.

But Zahid has his Fundamentals
of Nursing final tomorrow.

It's one of the dates I memorized for him.

I need you to say the words, "I promise
not to let you screw up nursing school."

I promise not to let you
screw up nursing school.

I have to stop this.

Go get your man, Sam!

♪ No, we'll never know ♪

♪ No, we'll never know ♪

♪ No, we'll never know what we lost ♪

♪ No, we'll never know ♪

♪ No, we'll never know ♪

♪ No, we'll never know what we lost ♪

♪ Oh, we'll never know ♪

♪ No, we'll never know ♪

♪ No, we'll never know what we lost ♪