05x16 - More Power to You

[bunniefuu]

- Mornin', mama.
- Mornin', sweetie pie.

Oh, boy. Is that
waffles I smell?

It sure is.

Mmm... Ow!

Oh, Vinton, good
Lord. Be careful.

There is nothin' I
like better than makin'

a hearty, nutritious
breakfast for my family.

Go get the jelly, the syrup,
and the powdered sugar.

Yes, ma'am.

Okay, Ms. Harper..

I have absolutely decided.

This is the dress I'm gonna wear

to the Food Circus
awards banquet tonight.

Well, call Mary Hart.

She can make it the lead
story on "Entertainment Tonight."

Uh, you really think
you got a good chance

of winnin' assistant
manager of the year, Skeeter?

Well, I know I got the box boy
and the checker votes sewed up

and they love me in dairy.

I think my only problem's
gonna be in produce.

It's so hard to make an
impression on someone

who spends their whole
day hosin' off lettuce.

Yeah.

Ms. Harper, I know
it's kind of short notice

but could you, I mean, would
you wash and iron my dress

for me tonight, pretty please?

- Oh, alright, alright.
- Oh!

Oh, good Lord!

I hate kissy faces so
early in the morning.

Oh, Vinton, guess what's done?

My waffle. My waffle.

No, you don't, baby.
We don't have time.

I've gotta get a
manicure before work

and you need your hair trimmed.

- B..
- On waffle day?

I can't help it, Ms. Harper.

We've got an awards
banquet to go to

and I'm not gonna show up

with chipped
nails and a cowlick.

Now, come on, Vinton.

Oh, I get it.

You win best assistant
manager, and I lose a waffle.

What price glory?

Mmm. Boy! Is
that waffles I smell?

It sure is. I made it
especially for you.

Gee, grandma,
you're the greatest.

I mean it.

And you look wonderful.
Is that a new apron?

How much do you want?

- Only 25 bucks.
- Only?

Yeah. I wanna rent a wang.

You wanna rent a wang?

I wanna rent a wang.

What the hell are
we talkin' about here?

A computer.

My research paper on
Abraham Lincoln's due tomorrow

and I wanna rent a PC
from the computer lab

so I can get it finished.

Oh, so you want to rent a wang.

Right.

Why the hell didn't
you just say so?

Okay, sweetie. Twenty
five. Here you go.

Thanks, grandma.

Alright. Now, sit down. Have
your waffle before it gets cold.

No time. I gotta go sign up for
a PC before they all get rented.

W... Bubba!

Bubba!

Hey, it'll only take
you five minutes

to finish your breakfast.

Well, I don't know
why I even bother!

Good morning, Gus.

Hmm. Boy is that
waffles I smell?

You know somethin', I
wish that meter of yours

worked as well as your nose.

What do you mean? Now, there's
nothin' wrong with that meter.

Oh, yeah? Why
don't you come on in

and take a look at
my last month's bill.

Sorry, but that's
not my department.

The accountants stay
away from my meters

and I stay away
from their bills.

There could be a
waffle in this for you.

Of course, I'm always
glad to help a customer.

Come on in.

- Have a seat.
- Thank you, ma'am.

Now, my electric bill
has always been $50.59.

I'm telling you, Gus. I
don't even have to look at it.

For the past 3 years it's never
been one penny over $50.59.

Now you take a look at what
I got in the mail last month.

Mm. $70.59.

$70.59. What am
I supposed to do?

Get me some butter.

You know, maybe you used
more electricity last month.

Absolutely not.

I hardly ever use any of
my electrical appliances.

Well, maybe there
is an error in the bill.

Ooh! Would you
pass me the syrup?

Well, of course,
there's an error in the bill

and I'm not about to pay it.

Ooh, ooh, ooh!

Is that powdered
sugar I see down there?

- Yes, it is.
- Mm.

- There. That enough?
- Oh! Add more.

Well..

What are you doin',
the Roseanne Barr diet?

Here's some jelly, too.
Now, what about this bill?

Say now they haven't sent you
one of those friendly reminders

you know, uh, the one
with the picture of the finger

with the string tied around it?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I
got one of those weeks ago.

Say, uh... what does it mean
when the finger turns into a fist?

Uh-oh. Look, take my advice
and pay the measly 20 bucks.

That's your advice?
Well, thanks for nothin'.

- But, Thelma..
- Oh no, this is w*r.

And I ain't about to give egg,
comfort or waffles to the enemy.

Now, get out.

But I had it just
the way I like it.

- w*r is hell! Get out!
- Alright.

Out! Move it!

You better tell 'em to quit
sendin' me those reminders

or I'm gonna give
'em a fist and a finger!

But I already gave my
customer account number

to the last five
people I talked to.

Oh, for cr... alright.

It's 673900000048-SW.

One more time, I'm gonna
have the damn thing memorized.

What? No, I'm an old
widow woman here.

Now, don't you put me on hold.

Bubba, I am so impressed.

Me too.

This is the only
way to write a paper.

Look, this thing's even
got a built-in dictionary.

My word! It's like
lookin' through a window

at the 21st century.

Yeah! Buck Rogers
comes to Raytown.

Yes? Y-yes, I do mind
stayin' on hold a little longer. L..

Look, I wasn't held this
long on my honeymoon.

Well, why don't you just call
me back when you figure it out?

Hurry up, honey. We don't
have a minute to spare.

Look out! Get out of the way!

Okay, now I don't want
anyone to touch the water

because we both need showers.

Oh, good evenin'
to you, too, Naomi.

Ms. Harper there's no
time for pleasantries.

We gotta get to the awards
banquet. It's starts at seven.

And we don't wanna be late.

Yeah, last year we got
stuck sittin' next to the guys

from the fish counter.

Even the cherries jubilee
smelled like mackerel.

Honey, plug in
my electric rollers.

Ms. Harper, you washed and
ironed my dress, didn't you?

Well, of course. Would I
forget somethin' that important

on a night like this?

Oh, bless your heart.

Honey, I got dibs
on first shower.

Iola, I gotta get
that dress of hers

out of the dryer
and iron it quick.

Oh, Thelma, you forgot?

I've been on the phone all day.

Besides, if this was
so damn important

why didn't she just
send it to the cleaners?

Oh my! We're gonna
have to set it on high steam

to get those wrinkles out.

Well, this had better
be Tri-State Power

beggin' for forgiveness.

Yo!

Yeah. Did y'all
find your mistake?

Well, I don't care
what your records say.

I'm not payin' your bill,
and you can't make me.

Yes, I told them.

Thelma, are you
sure that was wise?

Hey, I've been a valued
customer of theirs for over 50 years.

They're not about to
mess with Thelma Harper.

You were sayin'?

Oh, shut up and strike a match.

I tell you what
I'd wring that guy

from the power company's
neck if I could see it.

Ooh, I found the
matches. We're saved.

Oh, good. I got the
kerosene lamp right over here.

- Right over where?
- Right here.

Oh.

Grandma, where are you?

We're in the kitchen,
baby. Come on in.

Ow!

Bubba, be careful.

Oh, why did this have
to happen tonight?

I lost my entire research paper.

Well, go get a
flashlight and find it.

Grandma, you don't understand.

When the power went out

the computer deleted
everything I wrote.

My paper's gone forever.

You'd have been better
off with a number 2 pencil.

And I'd have been
25 bucks richer.

Well, what happened anyway?

Somebody blow a fuse?

- That's one way of puttin' it.
- Oh, will you quit jawin'?

- Look, we need more light.
- Oh, Thelma, relax.

We have plenty of
emergency lights at home.

I'll just go raid
daddy's b*mb shelter.

Fine.

Ow!

Who latched the screen door?

Holy cow! This is like
the end of the world!

Oh, it's no such thing.

Now, where's your
pioneerin' spirit?

This will be fun.

Hey, what is happening?

I was in the shower.
Suddenly, everything went black.

I had to jump out mid shampoo.

Yeah, and I was
halfway through shavin'.

Oh, really? We thought
you were foamin' at the ear.

Will you stop that?

What's goin' on?

I checked the fuse box
downstairs and it's okay.

Well, undoubtedly,
it is some sort of

a problem down at
the power company.

No, grandma, I see lights
over on Maple Street.

Look, then it's
probably one of those

random power failures
I was readin' about.

Oh!

My dress!

I thought you
said you ironed it.

I did. You just
can't tell in this light.

This thing is a
mass of wrinkles!

Oh, now what am
I supposed to do?

We're going to an awards banquet

and I-I've got no
dress, I've got no hairdo

and I can't even see
to put on my face.

Oh, for cryin' out
loud, it is not that bad.

Think of Cleopatra.

She's the most beautiful
woman in the world.

She didn't need electricity
to get herself ready.

Of course, not. She had
handmaidens and eunuchs.

Well, you've got Vinton.

Now, look everybody,
we cannot let

some silly, little power
outage make us crazy here.

Why not? My
paper's due tomorrow.

And now I'm gonna have
to start over from scratch.

Well, then you better hop to it.

You can use your grandpa's
old typewriter. Now, Vinton..

Ruff! Ruff!

Vinton!

You two get down to
the basement! Go on!

Go get yourselves all dolled up.

Bubba, you run
on up to the attic

and dust off the Underwood.

I'm gonna fix us a nice dinner.

And we will just show Tri-State
Power that the Harper family

is fine without electricity.

Uh-oh. Where the
hell's my stove?

Thelma? Table's all set.

Is dinner about ready?

You sure you don't need
any more light in there?

No problemo.

- Well, Thelma, how clever.
- Thank you.

When I'm through
doin' the dishes

I'm gonna go mine for gold.

Well, Iola, look at all this.
What do you got here?

Well, it's my candle collection.

I got one for each holiday.

You see, I got your Christmas
tree, your Easter Bunny

your Jack O' Lantern

your red chili pepper
for Cinco de Mayo.

You got your snowball
for winter solstice.

Well, what have you got for
Armed Forces Day, a bazooka?

Mmm. Grandma, is
that giblet gravy I smell?

Oh, no, that's my
Thanksgivin' candle.

It's scented.

Well, that's just
what this table needs

a scratch and sniff turkey.

Hey, speakin' of turkeys,
Bubba, get your butt over here

and let's have a nice meal
before the damn snowball melts.

I always think there's
nothin' so romantic

as a candlelight dinner.

Yeah. A jug of water,
a tater tot, and thou.

Come on, Skeeter! The
food Circus banquet awaits.

Well, I'm sure they don't
wanna start without the clown.

Uncle Vint, what
happened to your face?

Oh, uh, Naomi had the
flashlight in the shower.

I had to shave in the dark.

Well, what the hell did
you use, a chainsaw?

Never mind about me.

Naomi's the one who's
gonna be in the spotlight

and she's feelin' real uneasy
about the way she looks.

I've been feelin' that
way about her for years.

I mean it, mama.

She-she's thinkin' about
skippin' the banquet altogether.

Oh, boy, she must
be in bad shape

if she's gonna pass up
prime rib for fish sticks.

I tell you, we got
to build her up

make her feel like a queen.

So... what do you think?

Fish stick, your majesty?

Ew!

These fish sticks
are stone cold.

Not to worry. They
reheat like a dream.

Do this. Look.

There you go.

Now, see, isn't this nice?

It reminds me of
the camp fire girls.

I cannot believe I'm
missing my awards banquet.

I'm gonna be missin'
a whole night's sleep

tryin' to get that
paper finished.

Well, I'm missin' the ketchup.

I can't find a thing with all
these dumb candles everywhere.

It's right by the shamrock.

If it had been a leprechaun,
it would've bit you.

Ow!

What a bunch of sourpusses.

Don't you all know it
takes a little bit of adversity

to bring people together?

Oh, you mean like
that plane crash

where the survivors
ate each other?

No, Vinton.

I'm talkin' about people bein'
helpful and kind, you jackass.

Like the time of the
Big Ray river flood.

I was just a little bitty girl.

They had to
evacuate us in a boat.

I never will forget those
cows treadin' water next to us.

Well, where did you go?

Well, there was a family,
lived up on the ridge above us

the Tretchells, they took us in.

The funny thing was our
family hated their family

ever since old man
Tretchell put his outhouse

right upwind of our veranda.

Oh, it was a two
sweater too. Whoosh!

I tell you what there we were at
the mercy of our worst enemies.

Well, that sounds even
more horrible than tonight.

No, actually it turned out to be

one of the best
times of my life.

Mother had some
homemade preserves

and she brought a ham
out of the smokehouse.

She and Mrs. Tretchell
went in the kitchen

and whipped up a
meal fit for a king.

Daddy had his banjo.

Old man Tretchell
dragged out his fiddle.

I tell ya, there was singin'
and dancin' and eatin'

till the waters went down.

You mean you ended
up bein' friends with them?

No reason not to.

That flood carried old
man Tretchell's outhouse

clear into the next county.

Oh, Thelma, what
a delightful story.

Yeah.

Hey, how about if we make
this a night to remember, huh?

What do you say, Skeeter?

Well, I guess it
doesn't take electricity

to play the piano.

Ooh, we could have an
old fashioned sing along.

Yeah! Let's do it!

Ha ha! Great idea!

I study better with
music anyway.

That's the spirit. Let's
all get down and party!

Now, would you look at this?

"By the light of
the silvery moon."

That's the only light
we're gonna get tonight.

Oh, Thelma, just think

we wouldn't have this
warm family moment

if you hadn't refused
to pay the electric bill.

What did she just say?

Mama, you didn't pay the bill?

Okay, all together now.

♪♪ By the light of the
silvery moon ♪♪♪♪

Grandma, I lost my
paper 'cause of you!

And you have pulled the
plug on my moment of glory!

Alright, alright, I admit it.
This whole thing is my fault.

I know right about
now y'all would probably

like to k*ll me, but..

You're gonna have
to catch me first!

Mornin', grandma.

What are you doin'?

I'm buildin' a neutron b*mb.

What does it look like I'm
doin'? I'm makin' coffee.

In an electric percolator?

Oh, my Lord.

I'm so tired I can't even think.

I didn't get any
sleep last night.

I nearly froze to death
without my electric blanket.

sh**t, I usually have that
sucker set on at least eight.

And I couldn't even
get up to find my afghan

without my good shepherd
night light to lead the way.

Well, gee, everything
turned out fine for me.

I finished my paper

and I think it's the
best thing I ever wrote.

Somehow workin' by lamplight

really helped me
plug in to honest Abe.

Well, I just wish I could
plug in my percolator.

Mornin', mama.

We got doughnuts and
coffee for everybody.

Coffee? Give me,
give me, give me.

Wow! Jelly filled.
What's the occasion?

We're celebrating the
awards banquet, Bubba.

Luann called this mornin'
with the good news.

Don't tell me you won.

No, I lost.

What, has the power
failure spread to your brain?

Don't you get it?

I was spared all that
humiliation by not showin' up.

Everybody thought
I didn't even care.

Thank you so much
for not payin' that bill.

Yeah, mama, it was
the most romantic night

me and Naomi ever had.

Aw.

Love can be so mysterious
without the lights on.

Hmm.

Please, not over doughnuts.

Hey! The power's back!

Oh! Hallelujah!

Forget these doughnuts!

I feel a stack of
waffles comin' on!

- Alright!
- Alright!

Oh, thank you. Oh, thank you.

You're welcome, Thelma.

Oh, it's Gus.

Hey, Gus. I knew you'd
come through for me.

- Here, have some doughnuts.
- Oh, no, it wasn't me.

You were right. There
was an error in the billing.

They overcharged you by $20.

And look, they asked
me to give you this.

How do you like that?

Hey, everybody!

Tri-State Power sent
me a letter of apology.

What do you know?
There is justice after all.

Oh, read it, mama.
Let's hear 'em eat crow.

"Dear customer, please
pay $50 reconnect fee.."

Well, that does it!

Where you goin', Ms. Harper?

I'm going down to
the electric company

and punch their lights out.