04x03 - You Say You Want a Revolution

[bunniefuu]

Wait, what? You're going to Antarctica?

- Yes.

- How? When? To do what? How? I'm not sure.

When? As soon as possible.

To do what? Also not sure.

But you're dropping out of school.

Sam, are you sure that's a good idea? Because I'm pretty sure that it's not.

How can I go to Denton if I'm in Antarctica? Now, I have a lot of planning to do.

Well, wait, I I actually have some news too.

I took a job as a manager at Sal E.

Sour Cream.

Look at this.

Researchers discovered a high

-altitude site in East Antarctica that offers the clearest view of the stars in the whole world.

That's what I'm gonna be sleeping under.

I reorganized the baked potato bar today.

I moved the chives away from the ranch dressing.

No one's ever done that before.

Uh

-oh.

- What's wrong?

- A trip to Antarctica is very expensive.

Oh.

Well, I mean, yeah, that makes sense.

I suppose you could just wait a few years.

Thankfully, I have some savings.

And maybe I can ask for some extra shifts at Techtropolis.

That's gonna be a lot of extra shifts, Sam.

Hmm.

That's okay.

I like working at Techtropolis.

Bad news, fellas.

Techtropolis is closing.

Already? But it's only, like, 4:20.

Hey, look at that! Up top.

I love late afternoon.

Less busy.

Word.

So, why are we closing early, Bobbo? Your wife cheating on you again? No, what I mean is Techtropolis is closing forever.

But then how am I gonna get enough money to go to Antarctica? Forget Antarctica, homie.

How are we gonna pay rent? I'm sorry, guys.

I should've seen this coming.

Big

-box retail's been dying for years.

And yet I'm wholly unprepared.

What'd I say about leaving this door open? The wind blew it closed.

There was a breeze.

In fact, I think I feel it again.

Well, it's eight o'clock.

Time for Izzie to head out.

Okay.

And I'll take your phone.

I don't have a phone.

Very funny.

But if you wanna succeed at school, and training, and being a decent, rested human, it's time to go to bed.

I agree with her.

Bye.



- I'll call you in a second.



- No, you will not.

You will call her at four a.

m.

when you wake up.

No, you will not.



- Hand it over.



- Or what? Casey.

Elsa.

Stop! Whoop! Ha! All right, love you.

Same time tomorrow.

Same time every damn day.

Damn it.

I got a citation.



- What? There's a rule on socks?

- I guess.

You see, these socks are strictly for running, but Clayton requires a different sock altogether for walking.

Really? Ooh, they should put in a sock vending machine.

I saw one of those at a bowling alley once.

It was a very classy joint.

I wonder if undies are required too.

Because, ew, no, never.

No, it's literally just because we have to wear these dumb skirts.

I mean, if boys wear gym socks, you can't see them 'cause they're under their pants.

We should say something.

Oh, I don't know.

I don't want to make a big fuss.

Plus, Penelope's not wearing underwear.

We should just drop it.

It's nice we're all having lunch together.

Should we say our highs and lows for the day? I like doing that at meals.

My high is this grilled cheese.

And I don't have a low.

Never expose your weaknesses.

My high is that the girl who plays our center midfield fractured her tibia, so I'm off the bench.

But that's also my low 'cause she's my friend.



- Sports?

- Soccer.

Hmm.

My high is that I realized I need to go to Antarctica, and my low is that Techtropolis is closing, so I can't make enough money to go.

Not with that attitude.

What you need is a side hustle.



- A what?

- Another way to make money.

Tell you what, I'll give you five bucks for that penguin drawing.



- Sold.



- Bam.

Side hustle achieved.

Have your assistant deliver it to my mom's house.

I'll just give it to you now.

This is a good start, but I still need a lot more.

Nine thousand nine hundred and ninety

-five dollars at least.

Oh, you should have a yard sale.

That's how my family pays for our annual trip to Port St.

Lucie.

Hmm.

A trip to Antarctica can't be that much more expensive than a trip to Port St.

Lucie, can it? No, I don't think it is.

Well, it sounds like you need to find some junk to sell, Sam.

Oh, hi.

Oh, hi.

So, are we still being weird? I don't know.

Do you have any more lady

-kisses you wanna tell me about? Or would you rather wait till just before Casey's next parent

-teacher conference? No.

No.

I told you.

It didn't mean anything.

If you really think No, no, no.

I don't think you and Megan I don't.

But I'm tired of all the back and forth.

We're either together, or we're not.

We are.

I feel bad about Chuck's party.

I was so angry and strange.

We should have them over for dinner to make up for it.

Yeah.

Well, you weren't that strange.

I mean, not stranger than normal.

You were angry, but Can we please just spend the next 50 years or so having a nice, boring life? Yes, boring.

I would love that.

Library trips leaf collecting, anything redundant monotonous.

I'm dropping out of school and going to Antarctica.

Whoa, honey, slow down.

Going to Antarctica? When? As soon as possible.

Why are you dropping out? Why not just take a semester off? No, because I don't want to split my focus.

W What are you doing with our toaster? I'm putting it in a box to sell at my yard sale.

Are your electric toothbrushes upstairs? Wh What do we make of this? I think we let it play out.

Big ideas like this tend to go away on their own.

I mean, why be the naysayers when time and logistics can do it for us? That's good.

I like that.

A swift kick in the ass from life.

You're devious.

Thank you.

Hey.

Sign my petition? "Abolish the Clayton dress code.

" Okay.

Look, I know you don't wanna make a big deal out of it, but I don't think we have a choice.

I mentioned it at the GSA meeting.

And, Casey, these dress codes are really upsetting to people.

I mean, did you know it hasn't been changed in 100 years?

- Wow.



- Literally 100 years.

Well, did you tell the GSA about my sock vending machine idea? And what if someone isn't comfortable having to prescribe to these gender norms? Like, just because I have a vulva, that means I have to wear a small skirt? Is that the wording in the dress code? Will you just sign it, please? Okay.

Yes.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to study for my history exam while I cram some lunch into my face, and then I have to finish my AP lit reading before practice, so Maybe later I'll do some bicep curls while delivering a litter of puppies.

I'm not busy at all.

There he is.

What? Do you think you're special because today's your last shift? Last shift, baby.

And you're still bringing this weak

-ass coffee till the end, huh? Why switch it up last minute? Ha.

So, I, um I I told Elsa about New York, before the party.

Oh, is that what was going on? I was wondering why she was carrying that wine bottle all night.

Well, she feels bad.

She wants to make it up to you guys, have you and Donna over for dinner.

I don't hold it against her.

I hold it against you, dummy.

But I'm happy to come for dinner, and you know what I'll be bringing.



- Chuck's Crust.



- Best sourdough around.

You know, I think I might actually miss this a little.

Oh, well, not me.



- That's what you think.



- Last shift.

Last shift, baby.



- Hi, Paige.

What you doing?

- Oh.

Hi, Laird.

I I was just reorganizing the freezer.

Did somebody ask you to do this? Well, no, I couldn't find the butter, and then I couldn't reach the cookie dough.

And the whole thing just needed to be reorganized for efficiency.

The waffle fries were hidden behind the frozen au gratin slurry.

I mean, it's madness.

No offense to you.

And so the student has become the master.

Excuse me? Paige, this is exactly the sort of initiative that Sal E.

needs more of.

You're a disruptor, which is how I knew that you were ready for these.

Oh, wow, are those That's right.

Your very own keys to the castle.

You've got sour cream in your veins, Paige, and you can't teach that.

I'm not sure about this crowd, Sam.

They don't seem to appreciate the quality of the wares set before them.

I agree.

I can't believe my mom's panini press is just sitting there.

It's practically brand new.



- How much for this?

- Twenty dollars.

But you should know it can comfortably house an extra small to small tortoise max.

I was gonna use it for plants, and small rocks, and things.

That's a waste.



- It's been hours.

How much have we made?

- Well, let's see.

Huh.

Right, plus 90, plus 66, minus 5, 'cause I kept those clothespins.

You never know.

And we have made a total of less than seven dollars.

What? But how? A blue dot is a nickel, right? A blue dot is five dollars.

Oh.

Well, I guess that's how.

Well, I say we bail this whole sale and go straight to plan D.

What's plan D? Sperm bank donation.

Working and jerking.

Cash for a splash.



- It's working smart and hard.



- I'm definitely not doing that.

Well, I'm not made out of ideas, Sammy.

If you'll excuse me, I have to go save a sweet, young tracksuit from a sour old man.

Hey, Sam.

Hi.

What's that? My box of O's.

O Magazine and other inspirational content.

I used it to fuel my political and social aspirations, but now I'm leaving those behind, and these are just a reminder of the road not taken, so You can put them over there.

Although, I don't think anyone will want them.

So, how's it going? Bad.

After the $11 I spent on signage and doughnut holes, I now have less money for Antarctica than when I started.

I'm sorry.

Maybe it's a sign.

Of what? Well, that now is not the time to go to Antarctica.

But it is.

Sam, sometimes the universe has plans for us that we can't imagine.

I certainly didn't anticipate finding myself in chain

-potato

-restaurant management, but it turns out that I'm really good at it, and now I have my own set of keys to the restaurant and my own personal code to the alarm system.

I went with my birthday, natch.

But my point is, is that I've embraced the unexpected, and, I don't know, maybe you should too.

I don't know.

Ooh, I know what'll help.

Let's go on a date.

Uh, we can go somewhere special to celebrate.

How's Sunday? Usually pretty boring.

Well, then a date with your lady is the perfect thing.

Sam, I'm really proud of you.

I know you're not jet

-setting around the globe quite yet, but you're still doing great things, right here with me.

What, no Izzie in here for me to kick out tonight?

- No, she's busy planning a revolution.



- Huh.

Her and the GSA are trying to get rid of the Clayton dress code.

Huh.

Good for them.

Good for them? Since when are you on the side of the rebellion? Well, maybe I wish I had a little more rebellion in my life.

Really? I think you look adorable in that uniform.

It's actually a lot nicer than most of the stuff you wear.

That's just a mean thing to say.

But I cannot remember a time in my life where I wasn't judged for what I wore or how I looked.

I don't even think I realized it until you were a baby.

Really? Why? Gosh.

You were 18 months, and you were wearing Sam's old clothes.

They were these little overalls with dinosaurs on them.



- Aw.



- You were cute as pie.

And this old biddy started yelling at me at the park.

I'm sorry, a biddy? An older woman.

Right.

She said you looked like a boy, and for some reason, it really upset her.

I got so mad.

I just felt like, she's not even two years old, and she's already being criticized for how she looks and what she wears.

Oh, Mom.

You k*lled her, didn't you? This is the beginning of a very upsetting confession.

I can tell.

Well, I do have one confession.

Oh.

Do you know what I do every time I go to Target? Buy the scratchy toilet paper? Casey, one time.

No.

I go into the boys' clothes section, and I take some things, and I put them in the girls' section.

No.

And then I do the same thing with the girls' clothes.

You outlaw.

I know.

I'm bad.

Oh my God.

Phone, please.

Okay.



- Five minutes.



- All right.



- 'Sup, dude?

- Those assholes denied my petition.

I got over 500 signatures, and they just said no.

What can I do to help? Well, I was talking to some of the GSA kids about it and we could plan a protest.

It could be big.

Okay.



- Yeah?

- Yeah.

Of course.

This is important.

Okay.

Thank you.

Oh, hey, guys.

You hear practice got canceled? Yeah, we're just gonna sit around and gossip all day.

Sounds fun, right? Yay, fun.

Oh, you wanna run? Okay.

Let's go.

Two laps.

Hey.

Oh, hi, Coach.

You know I keep my ear to the ground.

No, I don't know that.

What is that? Is that like you keep your hands clean, like you don't get involved in shady behavior? Sort of.

I heard about this protest.

Oh.

And look, I'm not saying you shouldn't do something

- you're passionate about.



- Okay.

Just remember you've got a lot at stake.

You're working really hard.

Clayton gets pissy about this sort of thing.

You don't wanna lose your scholarship.

And you're so close to getting what you want.

Okay? Okay.

Go, team.

Don't be a dumbass.

Stay still.

I can't.

It's impossible.

I'm a human.

Stop talking.

I can't.

It's impossible.

I'm chatty.

This is not going to work.

Everything okay? No.

This assignment is annoying.



- I don't even like drawing people.



- What else?

- How do you know there's something else?

- I don't know.

I just get you.

I thought I found my purpose, to go to Antarctica to study penguins and help them.

Oh, yeah, that's perfect for you.

It's not happening.

Going to Antarctica is very expensive, and I'm losing my job, and I couldn't make enough money at my yard sale, and I don't wanna do Zahid's gross plan, and Paige said I should give up.

Well, she said the universe said it, but I think she said it.

Why don't you try a fundraiser? My parents go to them sometimes.

They once paid $500 to sit next to Mario Lopez.

My mom touched his butt.

That wasn't part of it.

How do I do that? Not the butt part.

Just get a bunch of friends in a room, tell them your plan, and ask them if they want to invest in you.

That's not rude? Not if you have good snacks.

You're telling me this whole time we were selling the second

-best electric toothbrush on the market? I'm afraid so.

Sam.

What's going on? I thought we were going on a date.

Change of plans.

I'm having a fundraiser for my trip.

Your trip to Antarctica? I I thought we decided that you were holding off on that.

Yes, but that was mostly your idea and not my idea.

My idea was to go.



- I'm gonna go prepare a few words.



- Sam.

Oh, hey.

There she is.

I heard a rumor that somebody is climbing up a potato ladder.



- Yeah.



- Sal E.

is a good company.

Once you're in, you are in.

They don't let anybody go.

Hey.

Welcome to my brother's silly penguin party.

Very nice.



- You look happy.



- Yeah.

Well, I just got back from the GSA meeting, and it was so cool.

I've I've never done anything like this, plan a protest.

It's so awesome.

Oh my God.

Izz, I love that.

I'm just What? Um Would you be really mad if I didn't do it? What? I'm just I'm worried.

I've just been working so hard, and I don't wanna get in trouble.

And And Crowley said I just don't wanna risk everything.

Okay.

That's fine.

We're starting.

I'm Casey, we're starting.

Ahem.



- Thank you for coming.



- This is so exciting.

I'm gonna make a lot of enthusiastic sounds to get the crowd riled up.

On Tuesday, I realized my purpose: to go to Antarctica, which is why you're here tonight.

I'm here 'cause it's my mom's bridge night and she wants me O

-U

-T.

When I was little, my mom showed me a documentary about the South Pole.

That's how I learned it was the coolest place in the world.

Ooh.

Since then, I've learned every fact I can about it.

About the explorers, and the landscape, and the animals, especially the penguins.

Last year, I even adopted a penguin.

Aw.

But even though I loved it so much, I never thought I could go, until I looked at Stumpy and realized that's my next journey.

Yay! I don't know how I'm gonna get there and what exactly I'm gonna do, but I know I need to go.

That's where you come in.

Please put donations in Zahid's hat.

Thank you.

Because you can't spell "fundraiser" without "fedora.

" You definitely don't know how to spell either of those words.

Yeah.

I put in 1,000.

What is happening? I mean, have you people all just lost your minds? This isn't even the tiniest bit realistic.

Why not? Seriously? Well, one, Sam's never left the country.

Two, he's never been on a plane.

Three, he hates camping.

Four, he's such a picky eater.

And the fish don't come in stick form in Antarctica, okay, Sam? And five, Sam can't stand the cold.

So figure that one out.

And the swishing sound of people's snow pants drives him crazy.

I'll bet you didn't think about that one, Sam.

The just constant swish, swish, swish, swishing of people's snow pants is gonna drive you bonkers.

You're gonna lose your frickin' mind! I mean Oh, Sam, I didn't mean

- Sam.



- No.



- Casey, I'm just

- I said no, Paige.

I should have been more clear it was Jamaican dollars.

Paige is wrong.

Come with me.

Where? Paige's Sal E.

Sour Cream keys? Where'd you get those? I found them on the table.

Come on.

Why are we here? I don't think we're supposed to be here.

We're gonna get Paige in trouble.

We're training, something I'm very familiar with, something I'm a master at.

But we're in a freezer.

You're gonna train for the cold and for the swish.

No.

I'm gonna start swishing.

Are you ready? That list that Paige gave you? We all have a list like that in our head.

It's really cold.

I say stuff to myself like that all the time.

Like, it's too hard to wake up at four a.

m.

Or I don't get to do anything but run and do homework.

Or I'm gonna do something dumb and lose everything.

It's really swishy.

That list doesn't matter.

That list is a jerk.

Only you know what's in your own heart.

A lot of blood, I guess.

Sam, okay, shut up.

I'm being inspirational.

What are you doing? The cold air is coming from that fan, so I'm building a wall of waffle fries to block some of it.

That's clever.

It's not clever.

Everyone knows that a block of ice increases convection by creating a natural thermal insulator.

No, Sam, everybody doesn't know that.

They don't?

- Oh.



- Mm

-mm.

And you haven't mentioned the swishing for, like, a whole minute.

You're right.

I haven't.

But you should probably stop now 'cause I still hate it.

Right, yeah.

You can do this, big brother.

Truly.

I didn't know you were so stressed out.

Yeah, me neither.



- Hey, Casey?

- Yeah? You have a lot of blood in your heart too.



- You're welcome.



- What's this? That's 100 USD.

I know that, but what's it for? You know that penguin drawing I bought off you? Well, I put it in a crappy flea

-market frame and sold it online for 200 bucks.

That's your cut.

You know, people will buy anything if you market it properly.

We're basically just highly evolved fish, you know? We like the sparklies.

Wow.



- You really are good at money.



- No kidding.

And there's more where that came from.

A lot more.

There is? Stick with me, Sam.

I'll get you to Antarctica.

Hey, guess what? What? Kids are out of the house.

We don't have to work today.

Are you ready for the first day of our uneventful life? Yes, I am.

Okay, this is repetitive and boring.

Grab a peeler.

Okay.

Wait a second.

Hello? Hey.

What? What? Uh

-huh.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thanks for calling.

Okay.

What? What is it? It's It was Donna.

Chuck had a heart att*ck.

He d*ed.

Oh, honey.