Why's it so hot
in here?
Oh, the thermostat's
broken,
but Joe's
workin' on it.
Yeah, he's probably
rewired it
so it's getting
the Playboy Channel by now.
What were
you saying?
Our ratings suck.
Well, no, no,
I wouldn't say that.
I...
Oh, yeah?
Then what
would you say?
Well, I would say that,
you know,
due to the idiosyncracies
of the current economic climate
and the increased competition
for a shrinking listener pool,
that our...
Our ratings suck.
Here you go.
Iced coffee.
Oh, well, thank you,
sweetheart. Isn't that nice?
[BETH GIGGLES]
Oh. Guess I left them
in the freezer too long.
I'm sorry.
Oh, sorry, guys.
That's all right.
That's all right.
We're all a little distracted
by this heat.
I know. It's hot.
It's just I don't think
it's the heat
so much as the fact
I spent last night
at Matthew's place.
No.
Oh, no, no.
No, no no.
It's just that
we stayed up all night,
till six in the morning,
watching scary movies.
And why would you
wanna do that?
Because I'd never seen
one before.
You never saw
a scary movie? No.
My parents let me watch
The Wizard of Oz
when I was 5,
and it gave me nightmares.
Oh, right.
The wicked witch.
No, Dorothy.
For years,
I was convinced
that a house was gonna fall
out of the sky
and crush me
and that some farm girl
was gonna come along
and steal my flashy red shoes.
Dave?
Will do.
Come on, Beth.
Come here. Huh?
Come here. Come on.
It's okay.
Dave,
I'm so hot.
No, no.
It's okay.
Everything's
gonna be fine.
Thank you,
Dave.
Dave, remember when I hired you,
I promised I'd never tinker
with your creative decisions?
Ah, yes, I do
remember that.
You do?
Mm-hm.
Damn! I was hopin'
you'd forget that because
I have a great idea
to boost our ratings.
Aw. Ah!
Oops. Sorry.
Matthew, we're a little
busy right now.
Got the perfect way
to b*at the heat.
Good for you, but we're
a little busy right now.
Take your shoes off.
You soak 'em in water.
You put 'em in the freezer
for about an hour,
and...
they feel great.
Mm-hm.
Right.
But doesn't that mean
your shoes are all icy?
Yeah. That's the point.
Why?
Oh.
[SHOES SLIDING]
Why do you do it to me,
Dave?
[♪]
Ah... All right, I know
it's hard to concentrate
with this heat.
JOE:
I'm workin' on it.
Joe is
working on it.
Now, as I'm sure
you're all aware,
our drivetime hour ratings
are in the toilet,
so, uh...
Look, is anybody
listening to me?
What?
Because our ratings
are terrible in drivetime,
Mr. James has decided
to replace the hour of news
and traffic
with an old-time radio series.
Well, as long
as our ratings are good.
No, our ratings
are not good.
That's why Mr. James
has decided
to change the schedule.
Dave, if you're gonna
change the drivetime schedule,
you really should clear it
with Mr. James.
During drivetime,
instead of news and traffic,
we will be airing
Fone Bone's Follies.
A cavalcade of sketch comedy
and big band jazz from 1932.
Could we wrap this up?
It's almost drivetime,
and unless someone's
changed the schedule,
Bill and I have to go
do news and traffic.
There will be
no news and traffic.
At drivetime,
we will be airing
Fone Bone's
Follies.
No news and traffic?
What are we gonna air
during drivetime hour?
Look, what if I was to say,
whoever comes up
with the best idea
to improve our drivetime ratings
gets 10 thousand dollars?
ALL:
What?
I'm not saying that,
but let's act like I did, okay?
All right, let's meet back here
in an hour with some ideas.
All right?
And, Joe, please...
JOE:
I'm workin' on it.
Okay, so now
you're just letting
Mr. James change the schedule
whenever he wants?
In this case, yes.
Well, he can't interfere
with our operations--
I agree.
Why don't you do something.
Well, because the only way
to teach him this lesson
is to let him have
whatever he wants
and wait for it to fail.
No. I think
that the only way
is to just tell
him that--
No. No, no,
no, no.
You see, it's--
It's like in judo.
When the big man comes
at the small man
with all of his force,
it's the wise small man
who steps aside.
Yes, but if the big man
steps aside also,
then... Then...
Then...?
Then the...
Then...
Then what?
The small man
is gonna...
Is gonna what?
What is the small--?
What?
What is--?
What? Never mind.
You know,
this is how it starts.
You know, first they tinker
with this,
and then they tinker
with that,
and before you know it
you are broadcasting live
from some spring break
bikini beach party,
which you probably
would enjoy, but it's--
Oh, Bill...
[♪]
My entire life up till now
has been merely prelude
to this wonderful moment.
I, too, have been
watching you from afar
with a longing
in my heart.
But we mustn't.
It is taboo.
My temptation
must not be denied.
Love is, indeed,
a heady elixir.
Mm, not love,
Bill...
Lust.
Pure animal lust
with no emotional ramifications
or entanglements whatsoever.
Bill, are you
listening to me?
Yes.
Of course. I'm sorry,
I must have
been daydreaming.
Oh, what about?
Winning the lottery.
Mm.
Have you seen Lisa?
No.
Huh?
I mean, not recent--
Not around--
I don't know.
Joe,
Yeah, I almost
got it fixed, Dave.
Now-- Look, Joe, why don't you
just call in a specialist.
I am a specialist.
At what?
At everything.
Look, this is no reflection
on your abilities
or lack thereof,
but if you can't get this thing
working within
the next half-hour--
[REMOTE BEEPS]
[REMOTE BEEPS]
You were saying, Dave?
That you should
take your time, Joe.
Because you know
more about this
and everything else
than I do.
Hm.
Thanks, chief.
No...
Thank you, Lord Joe,
master of all things
mechanical
and human alike.
Hm.
That's great.
Can you get me a soda?
I hear
and I obey, Joe.
DAVE:
Joe?
Are you listening
to me?
Huh? Oh. Um.
I'm fixin' it, all right?
You're just sittin' on your
toolbox, staring into space.
Now,
just please focus.
Get this fixed,
all right?
Hey, could you
get me a soda?
Get
your own soda.
[DRILLING]
[ON RADIO]
F.D.R.?
More like F.D. aren't.
WOMAN:
Fone Bone, you're a maroon.
[WHISTLE NOISE]
[CLICKS RADIO OFF]
Um, what was that you were
saying earlier about judo?
Oh, that when the big man comes
at the small man
with all of his force,
it is the wise small man
that steps aside.
Yeah.
But at the end of the match,
one man is small and wise,
the other
is big and wiser.
Uh...
B-but...
BETH:
Are you listening to me?
What?
I said, Dave's not busy.
You can go on in.
Right.
Thank you.
Okay.
What was it you were saying
earlier about judo?
What?
Yeah, the metaphor you used
about the big man, small man...
Oh, right.
Right.
That, uh...
when the big man comes
at the small man
with all of his might,
it's the wise small man
that steps aside.
Yes, but at the end
of the match,
one man is small and wise.
The other man is big and wiser.
Yes. The big man
is wiser.
Wise enough never to come
at the small man again.
What? What?
No... But if the big man
is wise...
Is. Yes,
wiser.
If the big man
is wiser. Yes.
Then...
Then...?
Then he what?
What?
Screw it.
What is it?
What are you
trying to say?
Beth?
Beth?
[IN DEEP VOICE]
Hey, could I borrow your stapler?
Beth?
Yeah.
Yeah, Dave? Yeah?
Are you
listening to me? Yeah.
Yeah.
I was just...
I asked you to tell the staff
that I want their ideas
in writing
within half an hour.
Yeah, I heard you
the first time, Dave.
Heat must really
be getting to you, huh?
Dave wants the ratings
ideas, in writing,
in a half an hour,
okay, Bill?
Okay, Bill?
[♪]
Oh, Bill...
my whole life until now
was merely pre-la-pl--
How's it pronounced?
Prelude.
[BREATHES IN]
My whole life until now
was merely prelude
to this wonderful moment.
You are the only one
I've ever had eyes for,
my sweet.
But we mustn't.
It is taboo.
You have a tattoo?
No, not tattoo.
Taboo.
You know, as in...
forbidden.
Taboo!
Oh! Because I thought
you said tattoo,
and then I thought
that would be so cool--
Please,
my little confection.
While we chit and chat,
there is love to be made.
Mm.
Tell me about it.
So how do
you like it, big boy?
Without conversation.
Bill!
Sorry.
I must have been
daydreaming.
That's okay. What were you
daydreaming about?
Winning the lottery again.
Oh, you won the lottery?
Not yet, my sweet.
My sweet.
Ooh-kay.
Ratings ideas.
In writing.
In a half an hour.
I'm on it.
Ratings ideas, in writing,
in a half an hour.
I said thanks for letting me
borrow your stapler.
Oh... Yeah.
Sure. Anytime.
[WHISPERS]
Man.
[SIGHS]
[♪]
I said, do you want
your stapler back?
No, it's okay.
You can just leave it
on my desk.
You wanna come over
and see more scary movies?
No, uh, I mean, may--
maybe some--
I just...
I need to get...
I just need to get
a little sleep, is all.
Hey, I hear that.
Dave needs the ratings ideas,
in writing, in a half an hour.
All right, honey,
when I finish my lunch.
Okay.
Looks like you could use
a little company.
Oh, I sure could.
Have a seat.
So...
how's it goin'?
Another day,
another dollar.
Mm.
Hey,
where's Shaniqua?
I haven't seen her
lately.
Oh, she's been
working really hard,
but she said she'd try
to drop by for lunch.
Hey, Catherine.
Hey, Shaniqua.
How ya doin'? Hey.
All right.
Look who I brought
with me.
Toshiro and Mohammed.
Aw!
Hey.
Well, it sure is nice
to work in an office
that has a few people
of color in it.
ALL:
Yeah.
You know the last office
I worked in?
Mm. Wall-to-wall
white people, child.
Oh,
now come on. No, no.
Now, I'm not putting them down.
It's just--
I know. You've got
to start wondering
what happened
to equal opportunity
when you
the only brother.
Or sister.
Or sister
in the place.
Exactly.
ALL:
Mm-hm. Yeah.
MAN:
Catherine?
I said you look like you could
use a little company.
Oh.
I'd be delighted,
Eric.
Oh, great.
Thanks.
Hey, guys,
she said it's okay.
Come on in.
Hey.
Hey, did anybody
see Friends last night?
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
I brought you
a soda, Joe.
Thanks.
Hang on a second.
I brought you
a soda, Joe.
Yeah, thanks.
I brought you
a soda, Joe.
I brought--
I brought--
I brought you
a soda, Joe.
All right,
g*ng.
Looks like it's naptime.
[REMOTE BEEPING]
Matthew?
Get the handcart and take
these droids back to the lab.
Yeah, yeah,
yeah.
Hey, when are you gonna
turn me into a robot?
Well, the parts come
this weekend.
Excellent.
Thanks, master.
BETH:
Joe,
Huh?
Dave needs an ETA
on the thermostat.
Oh, well, tell him I'm workin'
on it as hard as I can.
Okay...
Hey, can you get me a soda?
[LAUGHS]
Get you a soda.
Bill,
staff meeting.
Bill!
Staff meeting!
VOICE:
Hi.
Hey.
Bill's asleep.
Forever.
But I'll play
with you.
[♪]
BILL:
Beth,
what's wrong?
I woke,
you were staring at me.
Scared me.
Oh, sorry.
I was just going
to tell you it's--
It's time
for our staff meeting, Bill.
[ELEVATOR DINGS]
[♪]
My whole life till this point
was merely prelude
to this
wonderful moment.
What is your name?
Jeanette.
Jeanette DeChapeau.
It's French.
JEANETTE:
Sir?
Yes?
I was asking
if Henderson Accounting
is on this floor?
Oh.
No, they're up on 37.
Thank you.
[ELEVATOR DINGS]
Uh, miss, I don't wanna
seem too forward,
but what's your name?
Jeanette.
Bill.
I'm not gonna tell
you again.
Staff meeting.
Staff meeting.
Okay! Okay!!
Oh, my God.
Well, nice of you
to join us, Bill.
Sorry I'm late,
everyone.
I was...meditating.
You were sleeping.
Right.
And Gandhi was just
a lazy little goof
who slept
about 18 hours a day.
All right, everybody, I know
this heat is excruciating.
JOE:
I'm workin' on it!
So let's just try to focus
on these ideas for improving
the ratings,
shall we?
Good idea.
All right.
Well, what do we have?
Well, I-- This looks short,
but I singled-spaced.
So there's actually a lot.
Oh.
That's great.
Here.
I wrote mine longhand,
but there are about
20 solid ideas. Thanks.
And I put mine
on notecards.
Pick out the ones you like.
Terrific.
I went
a little bit overboard.
Oh, whoa.
Wow.
All right.
Oh. Oh. Yeah,
where were we?
You were just saying
that we should try to focus
while we go
over the ratings ideas.
Right.
All right.
Uh, So...
Well, what do we got?
Well, I actually wrote
something down.
Hm?
It's on a napkin,
but...
"Get better ratings."
It's more
of a jumping-off point,
rather than a solution.
I'm sorry.
Well, I know
nobody wants
to think about the ratings.
That we all find it...
odious in the extreme
to be pandering to the lowest
common denominator,
but the fact remains:
our ratings suck,
and unless
we can come up with--
Howie!
Hey, how are ya?
ALL:
Howie!
Hey, everybody.
BETH:
How are you?
Good to see you.
Good to see you.
Boy, it's...
It's hot enough
to boil an egg in here.
Yeah, I think maybe a snack
break would help us focus,
So... Hey! Do you have
any cinnamon rolls?
Oh, yeah.
Saved one special
for you, Dave.
Oh, thank you, Howie.
Hey, Howie,
how's your wife?
Oh, she's good.
Yeah.
But, oh, you're not gonna
believe this.
Yeah, she wants
to get another cat.
No.
What?
That's, like,
five cats.
No.
That's, like, six, Howie.
Seven.
Seven cats.
You've got
the life I want.
But I--
I gotta admit... The--
The little rascals
do grow on you.
Oh...
Cute and fluffy.
DAVE:
Yes?
Oh!
Yeah. Does-- Does
anybody want a snack?
Um, donuts,
cinnamon roll?
Um...
Well, apparently not,
but thanks, anyway.
Well, any time.
Boy, it's-- It's hot enough
to boil an egg in here, huh?
Mm-hm. Yep.
Well, we'll see you tomorrow.
Okay, Harry?
Yeah, okay.
[SIGHS]
All right, now.
Does anybody
have any useful ideas?
Yes, I've got one, but it
involves standing up to Jimmy
and telling him exactly
how much damage
Fone Bone's Follies has done
to our journalistic integrity.
Lisa, I tried to explain
this to you.
Well, tell it to them.
See if they can understand.
All right, I was telling Lisa
that it's like judo.
When the big man comes
at the small with all his force,
it is the wise small man
who steps aside.
Yes, but if the small man
is so wise,
then why is he so small?
[SIGHS]
Well...
CATHERINE:
Lisa...
Lisa!
Lisa!
Lisa! Lisa! Lisa!
[♪]
DAVE:
Lisa!
If the small man
is so wise,
then why is he so small?
What?
Is that a riddle?
I'm good at riddles.
Tell it again.
DAVE:
Okay.
Meeting's over.
Bill,
do you have a moment?
For what?
What do you think?
DAVE:
Matthew?
Ooh. Yeah?
Meeting's over.
You can go back to sleeping
at your own desk now.
BILL:
What do you mean your mug?
I don't see
your name on it.
Can't you two stop fighting
long enough to realize
how much you love each other?
[BEEPING]
Dave needs to know
if it's fixed yet.
Movement.
Signal's clean.
Ten meters.
Nine meters.
Which direction?
They're everywhere.
Eight meters.
Seven meters.
They found a way in.
There's something we missed.
Something...
under the floor.
It's not in the plans.
Four meters.
Three meters.
No, that can't be!
That's inside the room!
[GROWLING]
[WARPED VOICE]
I still have your stapler!
Ahh!
MATTHEW:
Beth?
Beth!
Ah!
Oh...
Oh...
Oh,
it's you.
What's the problem?
Oh, it's nothing.
It's just...
I think those movies
we watched really got to me
and it's just so--
It's so hot.
I don't know.
JOE:
Beth?
Yo, Beth.
Thermostat's fixed.
What? Oh.
Okay. Cool.
What're you
dreamin' about?
I was dreaming
about Matthew.
Oh...
Not like that.
Ew!
MAN [ON RADIO]:
And so, to all of us here--
Okay, what the hell
is this?
Fone Bone's Follies,
as you requested.
Dave, I was just trying
to make a point here.
I didn't want you to actually
put this crap on the radio!
Well, I-I...
What the hell
were you thinking?
Well, it's...
Well,
it's like judo, sir.
When the big man comes
at the small man--
Screw the small judo man.
What?
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
It's just me.
I shouldn't be screami''
at you.
It's just this damn heat,
you know?
I know. I know what you mean.
I'm sorry, too, sir.
Damn.
Oh, that's it.
Ah...
Hey, Dave, what'd the Dow
close at today?
Six thousand and twenty.
Six thousand and twenty?
Yeah.
Oh.
Sir?
Yep?
Oh, I'm--
I'm sorry, Dave. Ah.
I'm sorry.
Hey, Dave, what--
What'd the Dow close at today?
Uh, well, let's check.
Six thousand and thirty.
Six thousand and thirty?
Mm-Hm.
Nah.
Ahh...
I rewired
all the air conditioning
to blow through this one vent
till we cool off.
DAVE:
Good work, Joe.
BETH:
Was anybody else
having really weird
daydreams today?
ALL:
Yeah. Real weird.
Lisa.
Home.
How was work?
Good.
Topped off
the eighteenth floor.
So...
how was he today?
Give you any trouble?
Nope. He just sits there
all day long...
staring into that thing.
I wonder what he sees
in there?
[♪]
03x07 - Daydream
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Showcases the hilarious antics of staffers at WNYX, the fictional No.2 news radio station serving New York.
Showcases the hilarious antics of staffers at WNYX, the fictional No.2 news radio station serving New York.