02x05 - A Night in Sickbay

[bunniefuu]

Starfleet didn't
send us out here

to humiliate ourselves.

How long were we in orbit,
groveling?

Six days?

Five, sir, and it wasn't
exactly groveling.

Apologizing...
asking forgiveness...

just because we ate lunch

in front of them
on our own ship, months ago.

I call that groveling.

They were offended.

The Kreetassans manufacture
plasma injectors.

We need one.

So we spend six days
groveling...

Five days.

And when they finally
agree to talk to us,

we go down, and what do they do?

They keep us waiting
for 12 hours

and then send us packing.

No explanation,
no plasma injector.

Just "Leave.
Go back to your ship!"

We obviously
offended them again.

Maybe my hair's parted
on the wrong side.

I'm exhausted and I've had it
with these people.

Go ahead.

The three of you
are clear to go,

but I'm afraid I'll need
to keep Porthos for a while.

What's the problem?

He picked up a pathogen
of some kind on the surface.

Neither decon agent
has been effective.

What are you going to do?

I'm not sure yet.

I'll let you know as soon
as I've run some tests.

Feel better, Porthos.

Doc'll have you good as new
before you know it.

I might even break
the no-cheese rule tonight.

Sorry, fella.

You got to stay.

♪ It's been a long road ♪

♪ Getting from there to here ♪

♪ It's been a long time ♪

♪ But my time is finally near ♪

♪ And I will see my dream
come alive at last ♪

♪ I will touch the sky ♪

♪ And they're not gonna
hold me down no more ♪

♪ No, they're not gonna
change my mind ♪

♪ 'Cause I've got faith ♪

♪ Of the heart ♪

♪ I'm going where my heart
will take me ♪

♪ I've got faith to believe ♪

♪ I can do anything ♪

♪ I've got strength
of the soul ♪

♪ No one's gonna bend
or break me ♪

♪ I can reach any star ♪

♪ I've got faith ♪

♪ I've got, I've got, I've got ♪

♪ I've got faith ♪

♪ Faith of the heart. ♪

We're playing with fire,
Captain.

It's just a matter of time

before this injector
gives up the ghost.

You've got four more.

The ship can run on four.

Yeah, but it can't run on three.

You know what happens
at warp speed

when you've only got three
plasma injectors on line.

What are the odds
of us losing another one

before we find a replacement?

I'm not comfortable
with four, Captain.

We need five.

What the hell happened
down there, anyway?

T'Pol thinks
we insulted them again.

How?

You didn't eat cabbage
before you left.

I was a perfect gentleman.

We're going to have
to go somewhere else

to find you your injector, Trip.

These people are impossible.

Their components are
metallurgically sound,

dependable...

we could look for six months

and not find anything
half as compatible.

You're a trained diplomat...

Take the high road.

There's got to be some way

you can kiss and make up.

I'll have T'Pol see

if she can find out what we did.

But I'm not promising anything.

I went to Decon.

I thought you were
down there with Porthos.

Is ev...

It's all right to pet him.

You'll have to use
the isolation gloves.

Did you run your tests?

His autoimmune system
is collapsing.

I've isolated the pathogen,

broken down its
protein sequence.

I can't explain it, Captain.

It shouldn't be
affecting him like this,

but it is.

So what are you doing?

Running more tests.

I'm sure I'll come
up with something.

How sure?

Could this be life-threatening?

It's too early to tell.

Didn't we send his genome to
the Kreetassans along with ours?

I transmitted them myself

before you left Enterprise.

So shouldn't they have noticed
there's a pathogen

in their atmosphere that
his immune system can't handle?

They should have...

assuming they took
the time to check.

I'm told I've offended
these people twice.

Once for eating
in front of them.

The second time,
I don't even know what for.

But if their carelessness
has hurt Porthos,

or God forbid,

ends up k*lling him...

they're going to find out what
being offended is all about.

Porthos has no intention
of giving up...

and neither do I.

You hear that, boy?

Hmm?

We're all pulling for you.

Did you reach them?

Yes.

And?

I think we should discuss this
in your ready room.

Well?

Do you recall the stand of trees

outside the Hall of Diplomacy?

What are you talking about?

They're Alvera trees...
over 300 years old.

That's fascinating.

Did you apologize
for whatever we did wrong?

Are we going to get
our plasma injector?

The Kreetassans consider

the Alvera trees
cultural treasures.

Apparently Porthos
urinated on one of them.

And that's what
they're insulted about?

It is understandable.

Well, maybe if they'd
have bothered

to read the genetic
profile we sent,

they'd have told us
to leave the dog on the ship

and then he wouldn't
have had an opportunity

to pee on one
of their precious trees.

I conveyed
your sincerest apologies

to the Chancellery.

They're discussing
possible acts of contrition.

Where the hell do you get off

"conveying my
sincerest apologies"?

They're the ones
who should be sorry.

I don't need to remind you

that Commander Tucker
is relying on us.

There are some things

more important
than plasma injectors.

Are you referring to your pride?

I'll tell you one
thing, Subcommander...

if anything happens to Porthos,

I'll be the one
watering their Alvera trees.

If you were a married man,

I'd be wondering if your
wife had thrown you out.

I just thought
it might cheer Porthos up

if I slept here tonight.

That is,
if it's all right with you.

I don't think your dog
is in any condition to know

whether you're here or not.

Well, then,
maybe it'll cheer me up.

Be my guest.
Take your pick.

How's Porthos doing?

My sub-mammalian database

contains no pertinent files
on "bugles,"

but, um, there's
sufficient information

on similar Chordata.

"Beagles."

Yes.

Let me ask you a question, Doc,

just out of curiosity.

Are there any dogs
on your homeworld?

The Denobulan lemur
is highly sought after.

It's not exactly a dog,
but you could say it's dog-like.

It has a tail, fur...
most have one head.

Did your medical training
include any...

Captain, please.

You needn't be concerned.

I hold six degrees

in Interspecies
Veterinary Medicine.

I thought you were just,
you know... a people doctor.

As a matter of fact,

I've also earned degrees
in dentistry, hematology,

botanical pharmacology...

I'm impressed.

So, how's he doing?

I believe I've eliminated
the pathogen.

The question is

whether the treatment
I've devised

will stabilize
his autoimmune system before...

Before what?

In a few hours, I'll have
a more detailed prognosis.

Before what, Doctor?

There are many harmless strains
of bacteria

that can become lethal

when the immune system
is compromised.

But it is too early to
be thinking about that.

Hmm?

Now, we should both try
to get a few hours of rest.

If there are any changes
in his vital signs,

the alarms are quite loud.

Good night.

I would have brought you
some cheese,

but Dr. Phlox wouldn't
have let me give you any.

Doctor, are you all right?

I'm sorry, Captain.

Did I wake you?

Just trimming my toenails.

They grow quite rapidly.

Have to keep them groomed
at least once a week.

Just wanted to be sure
you're okay.

Thanks for your concern.

Good night.

I'm sorry, Captain.

Did I wake you again?

What the hell's going on?

Feeding time.

Don't be greedy!

How long was I asleep?

Nearly an hour.

Does this go on every night?

Only when I'm here.

They're very demanding
when they know I'm in Sick Bay.

Great.

Porthos?

I'll still need

at least a couple of hours.

Is he comfortable?

He's fast asleep.

I'm glad to see someone is.

I'll check back
in a couple hours.

How's your dog?

Nice of you to ask.

We'll know in a couple of hours.

Have you heard from your friends
on the surface?

Not yet.

I guess they haven't finished

compiling their list
of punishments.

They're not interested
in punishing you.

They only want
an appropriate apology.

I'm sorry!

For what?

Just practicing.

You shouldn't have brought
your dog

on a diplomatic mission,
especially considering

we had previously
offended the Kreetassans.

They knew we were bringing him.

We even sent his genetic specs.

They could have asked us
to leave him behind.

They didn't!

Porthos has the right
to a little fresh air.

You're once again ignoring

the consequences
of your actions.

What's that supposed to mean?

You obviously place
more importance

on the quality
of the air your pet breathes

than on the quality
of the plasma

that drives your ship.

What the hell does one
have to do with the other?

Isn't it logical...

I could... care
about my ship and my dog?

I'm not questioning
your pluralities.

I'm questioning your priorities.

I really thought

you were beginning
to understand something

about human feelings.

Not when it pertains
to primitive quadrupeds

who haven't developed
the ability to speak

or to use a toilet.

What's the matter?

I obviously can't
keep up with you.

T'Pol.

We've just received
a transmission

from the Kreetassans.

It's their
reconciliation demands.

The Captain's not going
to believe this.

You'd be surprised, Hoshi.

Captain, I didn't...

It's all right, Ensign.

We're on our way.

Well, this isn't so bad.

I was sure there'd be
something in here

about standing on one foot
with my eyes shut

reciting "The Night
Before Christmas."

I'm going back to Sick Bay...

See if I can get an hour's sleep

before the doctor's
results come through.

Let me know if this fits

with your definition

of an appropriate apology.

Do we have a chain saw on board?

What's happening?

He's gone into
anaphylactic shock.

His body's rejecting
the treatment I selected.

You said we'd know
in a few hours

if this would work.

Exactly.

It's not working.

Is he going to die?

Fill this with five cc's

of tetrasol.

It's the blue fluid,
second on the right.

Five cc's.

Five cc's.

I don't think so.

What?

You asked me if he
was going to die.

Are you trying
a different treatment?

Let me guess... we'll know in...

A couple of hours, yes.

How are things progressing
with the Kreetassans?

They've got a perfectly good
plasma injector

sitting on a shelf somewhere.

But will they share it with us?

Not until I make a fool
of myself

by going through some series
of ritual apologies.

The fact that Porthos

is on death's doorstep

doesn't seem to bother
any of them.

They're the ones who should be
apologizing, not me!

T'Pol thinks I care more
about my dog than my ship!

Isn't that delightful?

Why does T'Pol's opinion
concern you?

She's my Science Officer,
my second-in-command.

She should know,
more than anyone aboard,

how dedicated I am
to this mission...

To every member of my crew.

You didn't answer my question.

Porthos has one paw
in beagle heaven

because these jerks
didn't bother to look

at his genetic profile.

Am I supposed to ignore that?

I would think you'd be
more interested

in Commander Tucker's opinion.

You've known him for many
years, if I'm not mistaken.

It would be nice to have

all five plasma
injectors working,

but it's not essential.

We can do fine with four.

And the fifth one just started
to act up.

We might get another
ten light-years out of it.

Have you considered
that your anger

may encompass more
than just Porthos

and the Kreetassans?
What?

How long has it been

since you were intimate
with a woman?

What?!

How long has it been...
I heard you!

I suppose you're going

to tell me you have a degree
in psychiatry, too.

Absolutely.

Uh-uh.

No way.

Not a chance.

Porthos is the only patient
you're treating right now.

You got that?

Let me know
if there's any change.

Why haven't you adjusted
your time to our capital city?

I apologize.

We weren't aware
that it was required.

It isn't a requirement.

It is simply a courtesy...

Something your species
doesn't seem to understand.

I'll explain it
to the Captain immediately.

You might also explain
to your Captain

that it's been
nearly three hours

since he received
our transmission.

If he has the slightest hope

of acquiring any technology
from us, he'd be wise

to pay us the courtesy

of responding.
I understand. I'll...

I'll let him know.

Taa ke mai loo!

Bak! See rem tahlaa!

Treyst Berat kara tok ah see!

Keep your head down!

No matter what I do
to secure her cage,

she always finds a way
to get out.

Oh!

I thought you said your bat

was supposed to be terrified
of that thing.

It should have been.

Pyrithian Moon Hawks
eat these bats.

Oh, I know
I got the silhouette right.

And I mastered the call...
years ago.

That stuff isn't
poisonous, is it?

Nah, I'll be fine.

What now?

We need to find her
before we can catch her.

She'll stay up high.

Have you thought any more
about why T'Pol's opinion

is so important to you?

It's 2:30 in the morning
and I'm hunting an escaped bat.

That's all I'm thinking about
right now, Doctor.

That and Porthos.

Sexual tension, Captain.

There's no doubt in my mind.

By the air duct.

Do you see it?

That's just the filter bracket.

For the past few months I've
noticed increasing friction

between you and
the Subcommander.

You must understand
that I'm trained

to observe these things.

With all due respect
to your training,

you're wrong.

T'Pol and I have been
getting along just fine.

So, let it alone.

When one person believes
their sexual attraction

toward another is inappropriate,

they often exhibit
unexpected behavior.

Such as inordinate anger
toward comparisons

made between their ship
and their beagle.

Listen, Doc...

There's no sexual attraction.

She's coming back down!

Watch out!
Watch out!

Don't let her in the corridor!

Hey, are you all right?

What are they trying
to do to you?

The Kreetassans called, sir.

What for?

They're anxious
to get your response

to their last transmission.

It's the middle of the night.

They also suggested that

we should synchronize our time
to their capital city.

Did they?

It's not a requirement, sir,
just a courtesy.

Thank you, Ensign.

How's Porthos?

I'll let you know in
a couple of hours.

Everything okay?

Nothing new.

I'll stay with him.

Thanks.

Unless you'd like to
continue our discussion

regarding Subcommander T'Pol.

We are gathered here today
to bid a final farewell

to a faithful
and kind colleague.

A friend who would never
hesitate to offer his paw

in exchange for a simple smile
or a slice of cheese.

Like his namesake,
this quadruped

believed we should
stand together:

"All for one and one for all."

When one person believes
their sexual attraction

toward another is inappropriate,

they often exhibit
unexpected behavior.

Go ahead.

Hoshi, you and the dog
are clear to go.

But I'm afraid I'll need to keep
the other two for a while.

What's the problem?

You both picked up
a pathogen on the surface.

We'll have to try
another decon agent.

Feel better.

Tell me, Captain,

have you thought any more
about why T'Pol's opinion

is so important to you?

How long has it been since you
were intimate with a woman?

I dreamt...

Porthos d*ed.

Let's hope your dream
wasn't prophetic.

Any indication on how your
second treatment's doing?

It doesn't appear to
be doing very well.

An old girlfriend's mother had
this beagle I was crazy about.

Even after her daughter and I
broke up, we stayed in touch.

When the dog got pregnant,
I was the first one she called.

Four males in the litter...

the four Musketeers.

I've had Porthos
since he was six weeks old.

I grew up with dogs.

Can't remember not having one.

You have any pets
when you were a kid?

My people don't keep pets.

I thought you said
something about...

the Denobulan lemur being
highly sought after.

Well, very much so.

Their kidneys are
considered a
great delicacy.

I thought you might be hungry.

How very kind.

Was there something
on their list

about apologizing
on a full stomach?

You read the
Kreetassan's document.

Sorry.

Sorry, I'm a little on edge.

I haven't slept very much,
but I'm doing the breast I...

the best I can.

Hmm...

I understand.

Ensign Sato and I
have broken down

the reconciliation demands

into specific categories.

If you're interested
in reviewing them...

My only concern right now
is Porthos.

I'm sorry to have interrupted.

No...

No, it... i-it's okay.

When you get back to the Bridge,

why don't you send me your lips.

Lisp...

List!

Two Pillarian slips
within 30 seconds.

Interesting.

What are you doing?

My treatment was effective.

At least partially.

His immune system
is stabilizing,

but his pituitary gland
was severely damaged.

It's all but disintegrated.

Bring me the small gray cage
on the second shelf.

The one with the blue top.

What's in here?

A Calrissian chameleon.

Fill this for me.

I'll need to alter its DNA
to avoid rejection,

but its pituitary gland should
be compatible with your dog's.

You're going to perform a
transplant from a lizard?

Unless you have
a better suggestion.

It's a shame, actually.

The chameleon
secretes a rare toxin

that's very useful in treating
respiratory infections.

She's the last one I have.

What's the t*nk for?

I'll need to super-hydrate
the canine

in order to minimize the shock
to his pulmonary system.

You're going to drown my dog?

Only for an hour, Captain.

There should be no problem
resuscitating him

once the surgery's complete.

How many times
have you done this before?

Never.

Has anyone done this before?

Not to my knowledge.

You know, this isn't
some guinea pig

you're working on here.

This is Porthos, my beagle.

My pal.

And from what you're telling me,

the closest thing
your people have to pets

are furry little things
that go well with onions.

Perhaps you're right, Captain.

Perhaps I'm insensitive
to the bond

between you and your
subservient quadruped.

I'll leave the procedure
up to you.

But whatever your decision,
make it quickly.

Just for the sake of argument,

let's say that some of
my anger toward T'Pol

had a component of
sexual tension to it.

I'm not saying it does,

but just for the
sake of argument.

Yes?

What do you mean, "Yes"?

You're the psychiatrist.

What am I supposed
to do about it?

Am I supposed to ignore it?

Am I supposed to...
say something to her?

Neither.

Neither?

If you were ignoring it,

you obviously wouldn't
be seeking my opinion,

especially under
these circumstances.

As for discussing it
with the Subcommander,

that's entirely up to you,

but I can't imagine an outcome

that would do anything
but make matters worse.

Pass me the auto-suture, please.

The yellow one.

When will we know if the
transplant's working?

One step at a time.

First we need
to resuscitate him.

So I can't ignore it,
and I can't talk about it.

What do you suggest I do?

Be aware of it, Captain.

Simply be aware of it.

You'd be surprised

what a difference that'll make.

Lower the fluidic
temperature 12 degrees.

If Porthos pulls through,

will he need a special diet
or treatments

having a chameleon's
pituitary gland?

You may have trouble
finding him.

He'll have the ability

to blend into his background
when frightened.

You're kidding.

Yes, I am.

Does your expertise

on sexual tension

come from professional training
or firsthand experience?

I do have three wives.

And they each have...?

Two husbands besides myself.

Sounds very complicated.

Very. Why else be polygamous?

So, these three wives...

Each have three husbands.

A total of 720 relationships,

42 of which have
romantic possibilities.

You told me
you had five children.

How many are there
in this whole extended family?

31, at last count.

You must miss them.

You've been away
for over two years.

I'm ready for
the synaptic inductor.

The small blue one.

My children all left the nest
years ago, Captain.

I would have never guessed.

You don't look that old.

I'll take that as a compliment.

My two daughters,
I'm proud to say,

followed in my footsteps.

One's a surgeon,
the other's a biochemist.

How about the other three?

My eldest son's an artist...
A potter, actually.

He lives in the same town
as his mother.

Creates beautiful things.

And the other two?

My two younger sons
and I never saw eye-to-eye.

I'm afraid we haven't spoken
in, uh... quite some time.

I'm sorry.
I shouldn't have...

It's perfectly all right.

You asked me if I missed them.

The answer is yes.

Every one of them...
The children, the wives,

even the other husbands.

But we Denobulans live
a long time, Captain,

and right now, there is
nowhere I'd rather be

than serving with the
Interspecies Medical Exchange

aboard this wonderful vessel
of yours.

Listen, Doc, however
this turns out,

I want to apologize

for accusing you of being
insensitive before.

As I recall, you accused

my entire species
of being insensitive.

Then I apologize to you

and all your fellow Denobulans.

Well, I can't speak
for the others,

but on behalf of myself,
I accept.

And to think... T'Pol told me

you were incapable
of apologizing.

Pranab boko oor-tah.

Deelos takaa...

seely estos

oor-rah.

Tenvla nikot pranab

boko oor-tah.

Deelos takaa

seely estos oor-rah.

Tenvla nikot pranab

boko oor-tah.

Come in.

Subcommander.

Mr. Tucker reports that
the new plasma injector

is operating well within
Starfleet parameters.

Did he tell you
they gave us two spares

out of the kindness
of their hearts?

Evidently,
the finesse you exhibited

outside the Hall of Diplomacy
was appreciated.

Since I've been getting

so much practice
giving apologies,

I thought I might give you one.

That's not necessary.

Yeah, it is.

I've been under
a lot of stress... lately.

I haven't gotten much sleep.

My dog...

There's no need to apologize.

Whatever friction
there's been between us,

I'd like to try to minimize it.

Friction is to be expected

whenever people work
in close quarters

for extended periods of time.

I guess that's always been true.

Especially when the people...

are of the opposite sex.

Then it's good
that you're my superior officer.

That we're not in a position
to allow ourselves

to become attracted to one
another... hypothetically.

If we were, the friction
that you speak of

could be much more...
problematic.

No apologies, Captain.

I promise.

I hear things went very well
on the surface.

I doubt I would have
even gone down there

if it hadn't been for you, Doc.

I owe you one.

You'll be pleased to know that,
while you were gone,

things went very well
up here, too.

The transplant?

Not the slightest sign
of rejection.

Can I see him?

By all means.

Hey.

It's been one hell
of a night, hasn't it?

How soon can he leave?

Now's as good a time as any.

But he's...
Unconscious?

Nonsense.
He's just asleep.

Porthos.

Come on, boy.

Yeah.

We're going home.

Sick Bay's all yours.

You're welcome back anytime,
Captain.