01x04 - A Silly Halloween Special

[bunniefuu]

[ Spooky music plays ]

How would you define horror?

If today's people put down
their newfangled gizmos

and gadgets for a brief moment,

they probably start rambling on
about nonsense

like wars, plagues,
and t*rror1st att*cks.

What they would neglect
to mention

are the actual horrors
of reality,

like witches, ghouls,
and alien saucers.

However, after tonight,

you can add something else
to that list --

the primal, disturbing horror

of the unknown.

♪♪

[ Bird cawing ]

♪♪

Charlie, what are you
supposed to be?

[ Sighs ] He doesn't want
to dress up as anything.

Listen, I-I've seen
way too many people

get their careers ruined over
all the Halloween costumes,

I'm not doing it.

Why don't you just
put on some face paint

and be a zombie
or something?

Dude, face paint gets
people in way more trouble
than anything else.

I mean, I have no idea
what's going to be

offensive in 10 years.

Oh, come on, Charlie,

where's your
Halloween spirit?

When you put on a costume,
you can be anything!

Pim, that's insane.

Could regular Pim be

the sharpest gunslinger
in the West?

You're not gonna
hit that, man.

You need to pick those up
when you're done.

Don't leave them all over
the floor.

I'm like 100% positive.
you're not gonna hit that.

Okay, you actually hit it.

Aah!
Oh, my God, Alan,
I'm so sorry.

What the [bleep], Pim?

I thought
this was safe, Alan.

I really didn't know
it could do that.

It's fine. Just no more g*ns
inside, okay?

We're done with
the g*n stuff,

Everyone,
I have some bad news.

Halloween is canceled.

All: Aw!

Yep, we're all out of
firewood,

and it's just
not the same

without a big Halloween
fire pit.

If only someone could
wrangle up some firewood.

[ Sighs ] Oh, well.

Oh, I could
wrangle up some firewood.

Oh, Pim, that's wonderful!

Follow me. I'll show you
where the good stuff is.

All right.
Uh, see those woods over there?

Yeah.
So I usually
just go in there

and pick some crap
off the floor and --

-Oh, okay.
-What?

Oh, I was just saying
okay.

Oh, yeah, it's all good.
It's all good.

Uh, but anyway, yeah,
it's usually a little bit sparse

this time of year,
but if you look hard enough,

you should be able
to find something.

[ Chuckles ]
Uh, yeah, that sounds
pretty easy.

I should be able
to do that.

Wait!

One more thing.

Whatever you do,

don't go beyond
the rickety bridge.

Why not?

Hmm? Huh?

Because...

you'll get lost!

[ Ominous music plays ]
[ Gulps ]

[ Peppy music plays ]

♪ Picking up twigs,
picking up twigs ♪

♪ I like, I like
picking up twigs ♪

♪ One twig, two twig,
three twig, four ♪

♪ I like twigs,
and I want some more ♪

[ Chirping tune ]

Oh, thank you, Mr. Bird.
Mwah!

Hmm.
These twigs are nice and all,

but I wish I had something
with a bit more girth.

Oh, that's more like it!

Hmm.
What did the boss say

about that rickety bridge again?

Don't go beyond
the rickety bridge.

You'll get lost!
[ Coughs ]

The boss did say not to go
beyond the rickety bridge,

but all the good firewood
is there.

Hmm. This truly is
a cowboy's dilemma.

If I just mark the trees
like a true pioneer,

I'll be able to find
my way back, no problem.

[ Hocks loogie ]

Oh, whoops.

[ Ominous music plays ]

♪♪

Well, a cowboy's gotta do
what a cowboy's gotta do.

♪♪

♪♪

[ Twig snaps ]

[ Rustling ]

Uh, all right, that's about
all I can carry.

I should probably get back
to the office anyway.

It's getting late.

Huh? [ Gasps ]

[ Thunder rumbles ]

Ah, what the...

Ah, no, no, no, no! No!

Ah! [ Panting ]

♪♪

Oh, fudge.

[ Thunder crashes ]

[ Screams ]

Oh! Oh! Ooh! Ah!

[ Screams ]

♪♪

[ Gasping ]

♪♪

[ Panting ]

♪♪

♪♪

[ Exhales ]

[ Thunder rumbles ]

[ Building creaking ]

[ Whimpers ]

I-I'll just stay here
till the rain dies down.

Everything --
Everything's gonna be fine.

This place isn't so bad.

In fact, I could see myself
settling down here.

Yeah, right there is where
my exotic wife will sit

and knit me beautiful quilts.

Hello, wifey!

Hello, Pim.
I do love you.

And that's where the younglings
will sit and go wild with fun.

Hello, my babies!

Hello, Daddy Pim!
Hello, Daddy Pim!
Hello, Daddy Pim!

And now there is where I'll
toil away on my lovely farm.

Hello, farmy!

[ Thunder crashes ]
[ Screams ]

[ Panting ]

♪♪

[ Gasping and grunting ]

What do I do?

Run, Daddy Pim!
Run, Daddy Pim!
Run, Daddy Pim!

You'll never escape.
You're gonna die here, Pim.

Aghhhhh!

[ Gasps and whimpers ]

[ Panting and grunting ]

[ Gasps and screams ]

[ Grunting ]

Oof! [ Groans ]

♪♪

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♪♪

♪♪

[ Music calms ]

♪♪

♪♪

[ Screeches ]
[ Screams ]

♪♪

♪♪

[ Screeches ]

[ Screams ]

[ Panting ]

Aaah!

[ Whimpering ]

[ Screeching in distance ]

♪♪

[ Screams ]

[ Screeches ]

[ Screams ]

[ Indistinct talking ]

[ Screeches ]

Whoa, is that
[bleep] blackface, dude?

No, no, no,
this isn't blackface,

I'm an actual demon.

Bro, please tell me
that's not blackface.
Are you [bleep] serious?

-Not cool, man.
-No, no, no, no.

You don't understand.
I'm literally a forest demon

from across the bridge.
This isn't a costume.

Get the [bleep] out, man!

[ Crowd murmuring ]

[ Crowd shouting and cheering ]

See, that's exactly the why
I don't dress up for Halloween,

right there,
that's the reason.

[ Glass shatters,
shouting continues ]

[ Cheering ]

[ Glass shatters ]

Yeah, and thanks for wrangling
up that firewood, buddy.

Halloween is saved!

[ Shouting and glass shattering
continues ]

[ Smoke alarm beeping ]

[ Muffled shouting ]

[ Spooky music plays ]

So, my friends,
what did we learn tonight?

The only thing more horrifying
than the unknown up there

is the unknown in here.

And if you knew what went on
in here,

you'd freak out.

I guess I'm just a bit
more demented than most.

Hey, buddy, you can't be hanging
around here watching cartoons.

We've been getting complaints
all night.

You need to leave.
Why?

What law am I breaking?

That'll be Title 18,
Chapter 55, Section 55.06 --

loitering and prowling
at night.

It's a third-degree
misdemeanor.

Okay, I-I didn't know.
I...

♪♪

[ Coughs ]
Well, excuse me.

[ Farts ]

♪♪

Man: Whooooooo!

[ Laughs evilly ]

♪♪

[ Screaming ]

[ Screaming ]

♪♪

♪♪