06x10 - Pancake Sunday and Textbook Flirting

[bunniefuu]

(sizzling)

- What's all this?
- Well...

I thought that we could
have a new family tradition:

Pancake Sundays.

I got all the fixings.

You can pick what you want.

We got chocolate chips, blueberries.

I wish I'd known, honey.

I made an early tee time with Wayne.

What? Well, wouldn't you rather
spend the day with your family?

Of course. (stammers)

He's going through a divorce, you know.

He needs this.

I guess, sure.

How about this? I'll take
some bacon for the road.

Why don't you bring some for Wayne, too?

Good idea.

Can I take the plate?

Go ahead.

Hey, Missy, you awake?

It's Pancake Sunday.

What's that?

Well, it's a fun new
thing I thought we could...

Where are you going?

I told you. Six Flags
with Jamie's family.

Oh. Well, I could make
you pancakes first.

Pancakes and roller coasters?

Do you want me to barf?

Well, no.

What's all this about pancakes?

- (car horn honks)
- Oh, it's Pancake Sunday.

I got to go.

Since when is it Pancake Sunday?

Since today.

No, it's not. It's
Kellogg's Bran Buds Sunday,

like it's been for the past three years.

Well, I thought it would be fun.

I'll-I'll make you any
kind of pancake you want.

On Bran Buds Sunday?

Fine. I'll put Bran
Buds in the pancakes.

That could work.

It doesn't work.

♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪

♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪

♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪

♪ I am a mighty little man ♪

Excuse me.

Do you have a recommendation?

Well, you can never go
wrong with John Candy.

But, and this is just one man's opinion,

Pauly Shore is a comedy god.

Really?

You may pee your pants.

And if you do, there's a
Laundromat right next door.

(laughs) Well,

I will watch this and let you know.

Sounds good.

(chuckles)

Did you find everything okay?

Oh, yeah. He's really helpful.

Yes, he is.

(chuckles)

Okay, thank you. Come again.

I will.

Thank you.

See ya.

- (door opens)
- Wow.

(door closes)

Wow, what?

She was totally hitting on you.

All she did was rent a movie.

And then she laughed
and she touched your arm.

That's textbook flirting.

I'm sorry, I-I wasn't trying to.

Georgie, it's fine. You
can flirt with other girls.

It doesn't feel like I should.

Well, we're not a couple.

I know, but we're having a baby
together. That ain't nothing.

All I'm saying is, you're not tied down.

Don't I get a vote in that?

Yeah, you get a vote.

But we get two votes.
You're not tied down.

Oh. I didn't realize my mom had company.

Yeah.

Uh, do I have to pretend

I didn't spend the night here, or...?

I don't know how this works.

It's fine, uh...

you could've said
nothing, but now I know.

Yeah.

What's with the pancakes?

Oh, I made extra, so I
was just bringing 'em by.

MEEMAW: Who's at the door?

It's Mary!

She knows I slept with you.

Come on in.

- I brought pancakes.
- Why?

Well, I made 'em for
the fam... thank you...

Made 'em for the family,

and everyone was busy this morning,

so here I am.

So what are y'all up to today?

I was trying to convince your
mom to go fishing with me.

Oh, fishing, that could be fun.

I ain't going fishing.

I'd go to a flea market.

Oh, I do love a flea market.

I don't want to buy
some dead guy's pants.

Oh, the outlet malls are still
having their holiday sales.

I'd rather die and have you
sell my pants at the flea market.

Well, I'm sure we can come
up with something else.

Well, hang on.

When did we become a threesome?

You don't want to hang out with me?

Well, I do, but he's
not crazy about you.

Well, that's not true.

Well, then, it looks like
you got a fishing buddy.

I don't really want to go fishing.

Boy, that was a close one.

You okay?

Mm-hmm.

Are you mad at me?

Why would I be mad at you?

Is this about that girl?

Why do you want me to
date someone else so bad?

I didn't say I wanted you
to. I said it was okay.

Well, it seems like you want me to.

I just want you to live your life.

Then why'd you sleep with me again?

It was one time.

It was more than one time.

It was one night, and it was a mistake.

Oh, really?

Then maybe I should
go out with that girl.

Maybe you should.

Fine. And maybe you should
go out with someone, too.

Right, because there's
nothing men want more

than a girl with a baby
pushing against her bladder.

You want me to pull
over at that Wendy's?

- Their restroom's pretty nice.
- Yes, I do.

- (door opens, closes)
- GEORGE SR.: Hello.

Hey, you're home.

How was golf?

Fun. Wayne hit a duck.

Yeah, maybe you had to be there.

Kids home?

Nope. Just me. All by myself.

Hey, sounds nice.

I guess.

Actually...

(sighs) without church,

Sundays are feeling kind of empty.

Aw. Hey, next Sunday we'll do something.

It's not just Sundays.

I had Bible study, prayer group.

I had a whole community.

So, find a new one. You
just got to get involved.

You know, make some friends.

You make it sound so easy.

Oh, come on. Sheldon
has got school friends.

How hard could it be?

- Hey.
- Oh, hi.

You were right. Hilarious.

I wouldn't steer you wrong.

You got any other recommendations?

Well, there-there is
a Mexican restaurant

down the street that's pretty good.

I do like Mexican food.

Hmm, we should go there sometime.

I'm free tomorrow.

Cool. It's a date!

Sorry. That was a little
loud. I'm just excited.

For our date!

Hi, honey.

What are you doing here?

Well, they needed volunteers

for the book fair, so here I am.

- Hey, Missy.
- Hi.

Who is that? He's a cutie.

All right, come with me.

You need to leave.

- Why?
- 'Cause you're embarrassing me.

(scoffs) Everyone knows
you have a mother.

Please.

Fine, if you don't
want me here, I'll go.

I promise I'll do anything
you want this weekend.

Okay.

Just not here or near anyone I know.

Can't wait.

Love you, bye.

GEORGE JR.: Hey.

You said if I ever had a problem,

I could come to you, right?

Yeah, of course.

Not to mention, you got
all bent out of shape

when I asked Dale for
advice instead of you.

I didn't get all bent out of shape.

That ain't what Dale said.

You want my advice or what?

(sighs)

So here's the deal.

There was a cute girl flirting
with me at the video store,

and Mandy saw us.

Got it.

And now Mandy's mad at you.

Actually I'm kind of mad at her.

Why?

She told me I should ask her out.

The cute girl?

I mean, I know Mandy
and I ain't together,

but I thought I was wearing her down.

You do have that effect on people.

But now I'm supposed to
go to dinner with Amber,

that's the new girl,

and Mandy says she's okay with it,

but I'm worried it's a trap.

Right.

So what do I do?

Well...

(sighs) All right, well,
let's break it down.

If you don't go on the date,

Mandy might be upset with you.

- Right.
- But if you do go,

you might feel guilty.

Right, but if I don't go,

the new girl's gonna get
stood up, and she'll be mad.

Georgie, you can't live your life

afraid that women are
gonna get mad at you.

It's just what they're born to do.

Makes sense.

I'm not a woman. I'm
mad at you right now.

(suspenseful music playing on TV)

You watching your Star Trek show?

I am.

Mind if I join?

Not at all. But I must
warn you, it's addictive.

KIRA: ...taking you into this wormhole.

We have no idea what we're
dealing with in there.

- It could be hostile...
- ODO: Major!

I was found in the Denorios Belt.

Is that one Mr. Spock?

No, there's no Mr. Spock.

This is Deep Space Nine, not TOS.

Sorry, I thought this was Star Trek.

It is Star Trek. It's
Star Trek: Deep Space Nine.

And this is the first episode,
so I'm trying to pay attention.

Sorry.

Well, the answers to a lot of
my questions may be somewhere

on the other side of that wormhole.

(theme music plays on TV)

Is that it? Is it over?

Well, that's just part one.
There's a whole nother hour.

Oh.

So, is this your mom's car?

Nah. It's mine.

Well, it's very... practical.

What car do you drive?

Toyota.

But my dream car is a Mustang.

Oh, really? I used to have one.

And you traded it in for this?

Why?

Well-well...

...I had my reasons.

Oh, you wanted to
look like a soccer mom?

No.

It's-it's good for hauling stuff.

Ah, and they were all
sold out of trucks?

No, I just needed...

Something big to carry your purse?

Will you let me finish?

(scoffs) Ooh, sorry.

You know that girl at the video store?

The giant, pregnant one?

Yeah.

No.

Yeah.

So, you two are...

No. We're having a baby,
but we're not together.

In fact, she's the one who
told me I should ask you out.

- Well, that's not weird.
- Really?

No, it's weird.

(door closes)

- Hey.
- Hi.

I thought Georgie said
you were going to dinner.

No, uh, he's having dinner.

Y'all fighting again?

- What'd he do?
- Nothing.

So why aren't you at dinner with him?

He's on a date.

Why, that little...

No, it's okay. I told him to.

Why the hell would you do that?

Why are you yelling at me?

Because you got me all riled up,

and I got to point it somewhere.

Look... (sighs)

I have enough going on here

without worrying about
being in some relationship.

Plus, Georgie deserves to have a life.

So y'all are good, and I don't
have to be mad at anybody?

Right.

Huh.

I'm gonna go call Dale and pick a fight.

Oh, hey. I didn't know
you were working tonight.

I'm not.

Just meeting some friends.

Oh, that's nice.

- Yep.
- Oh, so,

I was just getting off work myself.

Oh. Have a good one.

Well, uh, so, friends
from high school, or...?

More like a bunch of gals
that used to be married,

used to be in Weight Watchers,

and now just come here to drink

and bitch about their lives.

That sounds fun.

Does it?

Would you... (sighs) want to join us?

Oh, well... so long
as I'm not butting in.

Well, I have to warn you,

it's kind of a salty group.

I don't want you to be shocked.

You've met my mother.

That's true. Come on.

(sighs)

Ladies?

Mary here is gonna be joining us.

All right. Fresh meat.

(women laughing)

AMBER: Since we're being so honest,

I should tell you...

I didn't really think
Pauly Shore was funny.

- What?
- Yeah. I just said it

'cause I wanted to talk to you again.

So, I didn't scare you off?

Look, it's strange,

but I've got stuff, too.

Like what?

Well, I can't believe I'm
saying this on a first date,

but I'm going through a divorce.

Huh.

I'm sorry. How long were you married?

A year.

Ooh, a whole year.

- Sounds like you really gave it a try.
- (laughs)

Do you still have feelings for him?

Do you still have feelings for her?

Mm, I asked you first.

It's complicated.

Boy, is it.

I went to two full-grown men for advice.

Neither of 'em had a clue.

So my friend said,

"You have so much in common,

you should meet him."

I show up at the restaurant.

(laughing): He's my frigging cousin.

JILL: No.

Did you?

No!

(laughing)

All right, Mary, you're up.

Oh, no. I don't have any good stories.

Oh, come on, you're married.

You're the only one of us getting any.

Really?

That's what we're talking about?

Married people sex?

Well, George and I have been...

connecting more lately.

JILL AND HELEN: Ooh!

Details. Now.

No, no, no, I can't.

Oh, come on.

It's bad enough this one's
got her secret boyfriend

she won't tell us about.

Brenda Sparks.

How do I not know this?

First of all, I'm not
Brenda Sparks anymore.

Oh, don't go changing the subject.

And... there's no one.

She's lying. There's some guy

that she was sweet on,

but she won't give us any info.

(whispers): I think he's married.

- Mm-hmm.
- (gasps)

He's not.

Oh, interesting.

I thought there was no one.

JILL AND HELEN: Ooh...!

If you like friendly
cats, this next item...

What are you watching?

The crap-I-don't-need channel.

What are you looking at?

Nothing.

He come back yet?

No.

But you don't care 'cause
you're good with this.

I am.

I think.

Second thoughts?

(sighs)

I mean, if it wasn't for the baby,

I never would've seen him again.

But there is a baby.

Yeah.

And he's been so great.

And I keep pushing him away

and pushing him away, and...

he's still there every time I need him.

What the hell am I
doing, sending him off

with another woman?

Yeah.

No, I'm asking you.

Oh, um, all right.

Well?!

Give me a minute.

GEORGE SR.: Hey.

You stayed out late.

I did what you said and
I made some new friends.

Well, good for you. Who?

Brenda, Jill, and, ooh,
either Helen or Ellen,

but I missed my window
to make sure. (laughs)

Sounds fun.

It was. Oh... (gasps)

and get this, I got dirt.

Ooh, what kind of dirt?

Brenda has a secret man

that she is hiding from everybody.

Really?

And he might be married.

(chuckling): Really?

Well, who do you think it is?

Oh, I don't know,

but me and the gals are gonna find out.

(chuckles)

What the hell, Brenda?

What the hell, what?

Your friends all know

about your "secret boyfriend"?

You think that's you?

Well...

it's not?

No, George.

Well, who is it?

I didn't tell them.

I'm not gonna tell you.

Okay.

Oh, God.

Are you upset that there might
be another guy in the picture?

No.

Good.

Go home to your wife.

I will.

Okay.

(chickens clucking)

Shut up.

SHELDON: Mom.

What is it, Sheldon?

I know you had some
questions about Star Trek,

so I've compiled a detailed guide

outlining all the shows, characters,

and how they fit in a timeline.

Can we do this later?

I've got a headache.

Unfortunately not.
If we don't do it now,

you'll be completely lost when we watch

The Animated Series this afternoon.

Just more minutes.

Mom, this is almost a hundred
pages. We have to get started.

In the rd century,

alien races from around the
galaxy have come together

to form the United
Federation of Planets,

which is... open your eyes...

Headquartered in San Francisco.

Morning.

Good morning.

I think I owe you an apology.

Yeah?

You were totally right.

I had a good time with Amber last night.

Oh. Good.

- I'm glad.
- Yeah.

We ended up talking for hours.

Turns out we have a lot in common.

So, thank you for
pushing me to ask her out.

You're welcome.