01x06 - Your Mum's Got a Strongbox

[bunniefuu]

[BUZZING, HUMMING]

[BIRDS CHIRPING]

[WATER BUBBLING]

[SIGHS]

Hey.

[DISHES CLATTER]

You enjoying that, are you? Yeah.

I left you some.

What's that say? "Lefty.

" Right.

Are you Lefty? No.

Then why the f*ck are you eating my f*cking cereal? I'll buy some more.

- When? - In a minute.

I don't want to wait a minute.

I thought we were gonna share the food.

No.

No.

No, originally we were gonna share the food, but you never f*cking bought any.

You just ate all mine.

That's why my name's on all the f*cking food.

[SIGHS DISMISSIVELY]

You pull that sh*t again, I'll s*ab you in the head with a f*cking fork, bro.

Yeah, keep smiling.

So go get the fork.

Yeah, yeah.

I reckon I can take you down with this spoon before you even get to the fork.

- That spoon? Red handle? - This spoon.

- f*cking snap that.

- Right now.

Pull it closed.

[DOOR THUDS]

Is that closed? It's closed.

But we should head up to Sizzler, man.

- Nah, no way, bro.

- It's all you can eat.

- People take f*cking ages there.

- Mitre 10 car park.

- Look, look, look.

- Yeah, all right, all right.

So what have we got? [GRUNTS]

Not the Mini, bro.

Not the Mini.

Rims on the Subi.

- What do you reckon? - Yeah, yeah, you're on.

All right, you got eyes on the shop.

- I'll take the door.

- Cool, cool.

Oi, passenger door, bro.

- What? - Yeah.

What the f*ck? - Move over, dickhead.

- Shut up, f*ck ya.

Okay, go, go.

[ENGINE CREAKING]

- [ENGINE TURNS OVER]

- [LAUGHING]

Yeah! At least wear a pair of sunnies.

Yeah, all right, mate, I'll wear sunnies.

- How much, how much? - $119.

Right, keep the change.

You want a receipt? Nah, all good.

Thank you, brother.

[BUZZING, HUMMING]

[CELL PHONE RINGS]

- Score.

- [ROCK RINGTONE PLAYING]

[LAUGHING]

f*cking ancient piece of sh*t.

[CELL PHONE BEEPS]

[CAR HORN BEEPS]

'Sup, Bern? Where'd you get it? Fell off the back of a truck.

What do you reckon? Check it out.

Piss off.

Fix you up later.

What's in the bag? Ooh! Nice! Score.

[ENGINE REVVING]

Strong box, mate.

Hey, your mum's got a strong box.

f*ck you, man.

Your sister's got a strong box.

[BOTH LAUGHING]

[FAINT POUNDING]

[POUNDING CONTINUES]

[THUD]

[THUDDING CONTINUES]

- Who the f*ck are you? - Oh! sh*t.

Hey! Let me out, ya f*ckin' prick! [TIRES SQUEAL]

[ENGINE ROARS]

[RUMBLING]

[FAINT THUDDING]

[THUD]

[THUD]

[LOUDER THUD]

[TENSE AMBIENT MUSIC]

- How're ya goin', love? - Hi.

What can I get you? Oh, just give us a couple of dimmies, here.

- That'll do.

- Righto.

Perfect amount of chips [WHISPERING]

You reckon Tracey's looking at me? [TALKING INDISTINCTLY]

Beauty.

Got any soya sauce at all? Yep.

[ROCK RINGTONE PLAYS]

f*ck off.

Thing's f*cking old-school, huh? Yeah, man.

- Should we roll? - Mm.

- Good one, Trace.

- See you, boys.

- Say hi to your sister for me.

- Yeah, you wish.

Laters.

[TENSE AMBIENT MUSIC]

So how are we gonna open it? Oh, Bernie's good with sh*t like this.

Yeah, but, what if, like, he wants something, you know, for opening it? Yeah, but I don't know how we're gonna get the f*cking thing open.

If it had a key lock we could pick it, but these combo locks [SIGHS]

Have to cut the f*cking thing open.

We need, like, an oxy cutter.

We buy one.

They're exxy.

What if we use Bernie's? Yeah, we'll do that.

Like, maybe we should have just done our own.

Yeah.

'Sup, Bern? [SPITS]

[SLURPING]

What the f*ck? Something you wanna tell me? Dude, just chill out.

Don't f*cking tell me to chill, fuckwit.

Tell me about the bloke in the boot.

What? There was a bloke in the boot of the Subi.

What was he doing in the boot? Where's the car? I had to dump it.

You think I'm gonna leave it sitting here? - f*ck.

- Yeah, f*ck! Like we didn't know, man.

Hey, swear to God.

Truth.

sh*t.

What's that? That was in the car.

[CLEARS THROAT]

f*cking dude in the boot of the f*cking car, man.

- [CHUCKLES]

- Shh.

Light me up.

- [FIRE WHOOSHES]

- Oh, yeah! Holy sh*t! Watch your eyes.

What the f*ck? Hey, Bernie.

Bernie! Customer.

You all right, there, mate? You got out of the boot.

No thanks to you.

Yours? So you wanna tell me what the f*ck's going on? These two idiots stole the Sub, brought it here They didn't know you were in the boot, but [SIGHS]

So where'd you steal the car from? No, we ain't saying nothing, then.

Uh-uh.

[TENSE AMBIENT MUSIC]

Oy, I do MMA, c**t.

- Yeah, f*ck him up.

- Do you? Yeah.

- Oh, sh*t.

- Want some more? It was outside the hardware, man.

Outside the in the car park outside the hardware store.

- Can I have my phone, please? - Yeah.

There you are.

So, no, didn't make any calls.

Better not have.

[GRUNTS]

- 'Ello, Ray.

- Oh, f*ck.

Did you miss me? Would you be upset if I said no? Yeah, a little bit.

All right, so, Ray.

How'd you get out of the f*cking boot? You wouldn't believe me if I told you.

Not in here, you muppet.

In there.

Right.

Try me.

Somebody stole the car.

Oh, see, now, Ray, I don't believe you.

Yeah, I told you.

When you were in the hardware store, somebody stole it.

Brought it here to the chop shop.

Is that right? Well, that is a hell of a f*cking story, Ray.

I'll tell you what's gonna happen, all right? Take the car, all right? We're gonna drive off in that direction, nice and slow, you do exactly as I say, you understand? Got it.

'Cause I don't wanna put your f*cking your brains all over the windscreen.

Right.

Bobby, Call Davros and let him know we're on our way.

Hurry up.

So you're not gonna let me go, then, huh? No, Ray, I'm not gonna let you go.

I mean, you know that can't happen, all right? If I let you go, I've gotta put a f*cking b*llet in this clown, one in Davros, then I'd have to leave the f*cking state, look for another line of work.

I'm not gonna do that, so start the f*cking car, and move off down that way.

[ENGINE TURNS OVER]

Good man, mate.

Make the call, Bobby.

All right, get out, Bobby.

All right, Ray.

Keep up, knucklehead.

Took you long enough.

We got here, didn't we? How you been, Raymond? Good, mate.

How you been? Yeah, good, good.

That's the way.

See that shovel there? Yep.

You want to dig a little hole for me? Sure.

How big you want it? Eh.

Start digging, and I'll tell you when to stop, okay? All right.

Look, we're all done here, right? You don't need me anymore? Yeah, we're good, mate.

[SHOVEL HITTING EARTH]

What's up? Where's my f*cking money? [TENSE AMBIENT MUSIC]

Hey, let me ask you a question.

When I first spoke to you about this job, what did I ask you to do? You asked me to grab him and bring him to you, which I've just done.

So I didn't ask you to drive all over the state looking for buried treasure.

Nah.

I should have f*cking clipped you.

You f*cking look, he's f*cking here, isn't he? Yeah.

Yeah, he's here, but Johnny and I have been freezing our arses off for hours.

Freezing.

- That right? - Yeah.

Well, I don't give a f*ck.

You'll live.

Not personal, Ray.

So where's this treasure chest? In the car.

Okay.

And you were gonna share it with me, yeah? Yeah, yeah.

[CHUCKLES]

Yeah.

So go get it out of the f*cking car.

Yeah.

[MUTTERING]

"Get in the car, Bobby.

" "Out the car, Bobby.

" "You're a muppet, Bobby.

" "Catch up, Bobby.

" Yeah yeah.

Yeah, well, f*ck you, Dave.

[TENSE AMBIENT MUSIC]

Good? Yeah.

f*ck! [MUFFLED GRUNTING]

[GRUNTING WEAKLY]

[g*nsh*t]

[g*nsh*t]

Ray, Ray Ray.

[g*nsh*t]

[PANTING]

[PANTING]

You want a smoke? No.

[SIGHS]

What a f*cking day, eh? Weirdest f*cking day of my life, mate.

What was in the box? Frag, wired to the lid.

You're a wily little c**t, aren't you? Yep.

They warned me about you.

That's why they teamed me up with Bobby.

[CHUCKLES]

[CELL PHONE VIBRATES]

I gotta get this.

Yeah, hello? Okay, yep.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Calm down, yep.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay, okay.

Bye.

Ray.

That was my mother-in-law.

My wife's gone into labor.

I'm gonna have a kid, so I really need to f*ck off.

Hold on.

[GRUNTS]

I don't think Davros'll be needing the Mercedes, mate, so That's yours.

I owe you, Raymond.

Forget it.

No, I'm not gonna forget it.

[SHOVEL HITTING EARTH]

[ROCK RINGTONE PLAYING]

Hey.

Hey.

What are you doing? Nothing, what are you doing? Having a bath.

What are you wearing? [CHUCKLES]

Are you still coming round? Yeah, yeah.

I just got some work sh*t to do though, so I'm gonna be a couple hours.

Okay.

All right, well, I'll see you in a bit, eh? Yeah.

- Bye.

- Bye.

["GET A LITTLE DIRT ON YOUR HANDS" BY BILL ANDERSON PLAYS]

When I was a little boy My daddy used to say to me Son We got a lot of big plans And a lot of hard work to be done Go get your marbles, put 'em in the house Tear down your castles in the sand Come with your pappy to the cotton patch Get a little dirt on your hands Get a little dirt on your hands, boy Get a little dirt on your hands If you wanna grow up to be a big, big man You gotta get a little dirt on your hands You gotta get a little dirt on your hands