03x02 - Champ

[bunniefuu]

- Don't get an Audi.
- Why not?

Mate, Audi drivers.

No good?

The worst f*cking drivers on the road.

I thought Mercedes drivers
were the worst drivers.

Nah, Mercedes drivers number two.

- Yeah?
- Audi, number one worst.

I reckon the thing is with Audis,

like, don't get me wrong,

they're great cars, they're luxury cars,

- Yeah.
- but they're actually not that expensive.

So I think the people who buy them,

they actually want a
beemer or a Mercedes,

- Yeah.
- but they can't afford them.

But they still want people
to think they've got money

'cause, you know, they're arseholes,

- so they get the Audi.
- Yeah.

Ah, I got you.

So if I buy one,

does that mean I'm an arsehole?

Hey.

What's going on?

Same old sh*t. You good?

Good as you can be in this place, eh.

- Yeah. Yeah.
- Yeah.

This is Adam.

- Hey.
- Hey.

Look, I gotta go shower,
but, um, you know, we'll talk.

- Oh, yeah. Yeah. Catch you later.
- See you later, all right?

- See you, champ.
- What'd you call me?

- What?
- You heard.

You can't say that word, mate.

- Why?
- It's just not a good word.

Yeah, okay. Sorry.

He's just a newbie, mate. No offence.

What the f*ck?

- 'Champ' means 'cocksucker'.
- Oh, f*ck off.

How the f*ck am I supposed to know that?

Well, you know now, don't you?

- How are you?
- I'm good.

- How's the club?
- Yeah, good. Yeah.

f*ckin' sweet, I've never
visited anyone inside before.

Me neither.

You got a good lawyer?

Yeah, I think he's pretty good.

- But he's f*cking exy.
- Yeah?

Anything I can do?

Uh, I got a mate looking into it,

so, uh, see what happens.

- But I appreciate it.
- Okay.

How's your kid?

She's good. She's, uh, growing up.

- Yeah. How old is she now?
- .

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

She's at that stage, uh,

she just wants to hang out
with her friends and that

yeah, feel a bit left out, but...

Yeah, mate, I hear you, but
don't take it personally.

It's how kids are built.

You know, they need you, which is great,

and then one day they don't.

And it's, uh... it's hard in a way,

but, uh, they come back.

Yeah.

Hey, uh...

I got a job for you
if you're interested.

Yeah, well, I'm gonna be in
here for a while, mate, so...

Yeah, no, the job's in here.

What's that?

The... the job's in here.

Ah. Okay. Um...

It's a guy called Johnny
Tran. You know him?

Nuh.

It's... it's not for me.
It's for a guy I know.

And what's the job?

The guy's being a bit of a dickhead,

so, you know, just f*ck him up a bit.

Nothing permanent.

- How much?
- .

What do you reckon?

Yeah.

How's the food been?

That good?

What's your problem, huh?

- Nothing.
- What did you f*cking say?

Harris.

Yeah, you'll keep.

Reckon he'll do something?

Probably.

What do I do?

Get in first.

Hit him?

No, I can't.

Oh, well, maybe he'll leave you alone.

You don't think he will, though?

Nuh.

That's f*cked. I mean, I didn't even...

How am I supposed to know that
you can't say f*ckin' 'champ'?

He don't hear much, so, uh, you
better do something about him.

Mate, I can't fight.

Mate, most f*cking guys
in here can't fight.

All right? They're just bullies.

You know, looking for people who
can't stand up for themselves.

So if you don't stand up
and do something about it,

you're gonna have half the
pricks in here after you.

Well, I don't want that. But have
you seen the f*cking size of the guy?

Doesn't matter.

- Doesn't matter?
- Nuh.

Okay, then why do they have
weight limits in the UFC?

Mate, doesn't matter how big he is,

doesn't matter how big you are, right?

In a real f*cking fight,
the only thing that matters

is the size of this thing here.

Yeah, well, mine's a little
bit on the small side.

What is?

My heart.

- Well, you're f*cked, then.
- Thanks.

Sorry, mate.

Cheers, brother.

- Call your daughter?
- Yeah.

- Is she good?
- Yeah, she's pretty good.

- Called yours?
- No, mate. Not yet.

What are you doing?

Meditating.

Why do you do that?

Helps me relax.

Fair enough.

I used to have, um, really
bad anxiety and sh*t,

so I've been doing it for
a couple of years now.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

You never meditated?

Nuh.

You should give it a cr*ck.

Yeah, I don't have anxiety.

Well, you don't need to
have anxiety to do it.

So how do you do it?

Okay, so you focus on your breathing...

- Yeah.
- ... and you count your breaths.

And so, basically it's every
time you breathe out,

you count.

So from one through till ,
yeah, then back to one again.

- Keep going.
- All right.

So, how long do I do it for?

Well, as long as you want.

It's a bit boring.

That's okay. Um...

When you first start out, so it
takes a while to relax into it.

But, um...

Ray, can I ask you something?

Why'd you throw the hot
water in that guy's face?

Oh, it was business.

What do you mean?

Oh, it was a job.

Someone paid you to do it?

Why?

He pissed somebody off.

That's it?

It's enough.

No offence, but that's pretty...

It's pretty f*cked up.

Yeah, that's the way it is
in here, mate, you know?

You go around pissing people
off, there's consequences.

I just don't think v*olence
is the answer, you know?

Sometimes it is.

I don't know.

Maybe I'm just a pacifist, you know?

Nah, you're just scared.

Matty, customer.

Can I help you?

- Are you Matty?
- Yeah.

Just come to get a quote, mate.

Yeah. What kind of vehicle you got?

What happened to your eye?

Some f*cking idiot king-hit me.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

What happened?

Oh, I was crossing the road...

... some jerk-off comes tearing along,

doesn't even slow down.

I nearly go over the f*cking hood.

- That's pretty f*cked.
- Yeah.

And then the prick gets out, blames me.

Next minute just...

So, when you crossed the road,
was it, like, a... a pedestrian crossing?

Yeah.

So there were,

white stripes painted on the road,
there was signs up and sh*t?

Yeah.

That's funny, Matty, 'cause
I went down there today

and I didn't see any f*cking
pedestrian crossing.

Well, how would you know?
I didn't tell you where it happened.

Let's go for a drive, eh?

f*ck off.

- Change it back.
- No.

- I'm f*cking watching that.
- Do I look like I care?

- Give me the f*cking remote.
- No.

- Give me that.
- What...

- Hey!
- f*cking dickhead.

Change the f*cking channel.

- Hey, c**t.
- Oh, f*ck!

We've got an inmate down in...

Come on, get out. Get out.

Get out.

- No. Nah. No!
- Come here.

Please, please. I'll drop the charges.
I'll drop the charges.

Please, please, please, please.

- Please! I've got money.
- Shut up!

Please! I'll drop the charges.
I've got money.

- Shut up!
- I'll give you anything.

Please, please! Please.

I'm sorry.

- You're comfy there?
- Please, please.

- You gonna drop the charges?
- Yes! I'll f*cking drop them.

That's good.

But just so you know, if you don't...

You see this face?

That will be the last thing
you ever f*cking see.

You understand that?

- Yes?
- Yes.

Stop f*cking crying. It's embarrassing.

All dressed, ready to hit the town?

Yeah, mate. Yeah.

Okay.

Mobile phone.

Tobacco and lighter.

Yep.

Pair of sunnies.

And a little bit of cash
to get you started.

Thanks, mate. Cheers.

Let's get over the gate

- and we'll get you out of here.
- Sure, mate.

Discharge for Shoesmith.

- Shoesmith, time to go.
- There you go, Ray.

See you next time.

Hope not.

- Hey.
- Hi.

Brit's in the loo.

She's been acting a bit weird
lately. Just a heads-up.

What do you mean?

You know, she won't talk,
but something is up.

- How are you, sweetheart?
- Hi.

Okay.

'Bye.

- So, what's the goss?
- No goss.

No goss.

Is your little mate gonna
come over and stay?

No.

How come?

'Cause her parents won't let her.

Oh.

Why not?

'Cause you're a criminal.

What?

I know you went to jail.

Who told you?

Doesn't matter who told me.
Why were you in jail?

I had a, uh, situation with a guy.

What do you mean, a situation?

Well, I was driving down the road

and these two guys just decided

that they were gonna
cross in front of the car

while I was driving.

So, I... you know, I have to veer
to get around them, right,

otherwise I'm gonna run 'em over.

As I go past them,

one of the guys slapped
the side mirror on the car,

so I pulled over and I'm, like,
"Mate, what's the problem?"

I'm trying to figure out what
this guy's so angry about.

You know, before I know it,
the guy's swinging at me,

trying to, you know,
punch me in the face.

I'm, like, you know...
I gotta defend myself.

Like, I'm not gonna
get my head punched in,

so I hit him and, you know,

the cops were there,
unfortunately, pretty close

and they saw me hit him and
so they put me in remand.

What's remand?

Remand is, um...

That's the place where they put you
when they're trying to figure out

whether you've done the
wrong thing or not, right?

So, I didn't go to court,
I wasn't convicted,

I wasn't found guilty.

They just put me in there
so they could investigate

and found out what happened, all right?

So, police investigated, they found out that

I didn't start the fight,

it was the other guy trying to hit me

and that I was just
trying to defend myself,

so they released me out of jail.

Why did you lie?

'Cause I didn't wanna worry you.

Yeah, but you shouldn't lie.

I know.

I should have told you.

And I'm sorry that I didn't,

you know.

- Okay?
- Whatever.

I am actually really sorry that I...

You're just sorry that I found out.

You wouldn't like it if I lied to you.

Fair enough.

How you going?

- Good, thanks.
- I'm Brittany's dad.

Oh.

Um, Brit said that, um, you know, uh,

Romy didn't wanna...

you didn't want her to
come and stay 'cause you'd heard

I'd been in jail.

Oh, yeah. Well, look, we just...

You know, that was just
something that I'd heard, so...

Yeah. Look, no, I mean, I'm
not upset about it or anything.

But it's just I wanted to come
round and explain to you

'cause it's kinda, like,
everybody's kind of talking and...

So, basically what happened was, um,

it was kind of like a road
rage sort of incident.

I defended myself, um,

and, unfortunately, the other
guy came off

worse for wear, you know what I mean,
so he pressed charges against me.

Yeah. So...

But, you know, the cops investigated

and they found out
that I wasn't at fault,

and, um, yeah, so they
dismissed all the charges and,

you know...

Well, I'm sorry.

And... and you're right
about everyone talking.

- Yeah. So...
- Okay, great.

Well, thank you for explaining.

Yeah, look, so, you know,

Brit's still keen to, you know,
have Romy stay over.

- So if you wanna...
- She'd love to come and stay.

- Awesome.
- But we've, um...

we've gotta go and see her grandmother,

who's really not very
well at the moment, so...

Oh. Now?

- Yeah.
- That's no good.

Yeah. Thank you.

Another time maybe.

Yeah, yeah, sure. Yeah.

Great.

Okay.

Okay.

So...

Uh, she's gotta go see her grandma.

Because she's sick, apparently.

So...

Whatever.