07x02 - Burnin' Down the House: Part 2

[bunniefuu]

Last week on Wings...

And just for the record,

what happened
between me and Casey

was just a one-time thing.

It will never happen again.

Fire!

Fire!

Fire?

Fire!

Let's get out of here!

What is that?

It's a welcome-home gift
for Joe and Helen.

We already gave them
a welcome-home gift, remember?

We b*rned their house down!

You did this?

It was an accident.

It was... it was... it was

one of those freaky
"bra in the fireplace" things

you always read about.

This time it was the house.

What's it going to be
next, my children?

That's a chance I
can't afford to take.

I... just don't have
it in me anymore.

What are you saying?

I'm saying I want you
out of my life.

Oh, boy.

Oh, boy!

Oh.

Oh, wow.

(screams)
(screams)

What are you doing here?

What do you think?

Returning to the scene
of the crime.

Oh, god. They filed charges?

Don't worry. Arson carries
a three-to-five stretch.

You'll still be a youngish woman
when you get out.

But, you know,

actually, when
you look at it

in the daylight,
it's not so bad.

Yeah, yeah, you're right.

Although, technically,
nothing remains standing.

Work with me, Brian, okay?

I've been here since dawn,
trying to salvage something

so Helen doesn't k*ll me.

Hey, hey, I got my own problems,
all right?

My brother wants to cut me
out of his life.

I've never seen such contempt
on a human face.

Well, except maybe that time
at the dentist

when the hygienist asked me
if I wanted suction

and I said, "Where?"

Ugh!

That's the look. That's it.

You didn't happen
to see that look

on Joe's face this morning,
did you?

Oh, no. I've been keeping a very
low profile at that house.

By the way, where'd you sleep
last night?

Roy's.

Ugh!

It's not that bad.

You just have
to follow a few rules,

like, after midnight,
lock yourself in your room

and don't come out,
no matter what you hear.

Oh. Oh! Look at this.

This hardly b*rned at all.

Helen will be thrilled
to get this back.

Helen? No, no, no, that...
that's not Helen's.

That belongs
to me and Joe.

My God, I didn't even
know this was here.

It's not even burnt
or anything.

Our dad... our dad left
this to us when he d*ed.

Tough. I saw it first.

Hey, hey, no, listen
to me for a second.

Joe wasn't speaking to me
for, like, six years, okay?

And so Dad put a photograph
of us in the suitcase,

so that, when we'd
open it up and see it,

it would bring us
back together.

It's still there.

Oh, man.

Oh.

"You're rich."

You're rich?

No. No.

No. It's just Dad's
way of telling us

that we're rich because...
we have each other.

This is going
to fix things with Joe.

This is going
to fix them.

Great.

You've got
your peacemaker.

What about me?

I mean, look
at this place.

Helen will never
speak to me again.

And maybe I deserve it.

Oh, come on now.

It's not your fault.

It's... nobody's fault.

It isn't?

Of course not.

It's not like
we're... bad people.

We're not?

No.

Baby...

Oh...

you, uh... do you
want to go upstairs?

There is
no upstairs.

We are bad people.

Oh.

(laughing)

Scarpacci, it's good to see you
laughing again.

I guess with enough
anti-depressants,

even coffee is funny.

No, no, no.

I'm on a natural high.

It's called vendetta.

Brian and Casey

will soon learn

that nobody makes a fool
of Antonio Scarpacci.

Oh, yeah?

(chuckles)

What did you do?

I had a few pizzas
delivered to Casey.

How many did you send?

Two dozen.

Cost me a pretty penny,
but, uh, it was worth it.

You paid for the pizzas?

That's right.

Toy with Antonio Scarpacci,

you get b*rned,
my friend.

(laughs wickedly)

Hey, Chappel,

you're the last one
I expected to see here today.

I'm sorry to hear

about your house.

Oh, thanks, Roy.

So, how are you holding up?

Better than my house.

Glad to see you're
taking it this way.

You got your sense
of humor back.

Well, what's done is done.

I mean, the house is gone, and
I've put that fire behind me.

There is no smoking
at the lunch counter!

Morning, Brian.

Hello.

Hey. How you
doing, roomie?

Roy, we're not
really roomies.

Sure, we are.
We share a pad.

What do you call it?

Surreal.

(knocking)

Hey, Joey, got a minute?

Can I talk to you?

Yeah. Come on in.

Uh...

uh, a lot of things
were said last night

and, uh, I know things
are pretty weird between us now,

but this morning

I went back to, um... to...

The charred ruins
of our former home?

Right. The bad place.

And, um...

look what I found.

Is that Dad's suitcase?

That's right.

It's the only thing
that survived the fire.

This is a sign.

No, Brian, it should
have a sign:

"Cheap, ugly luggage."

What do you want?

Well, um... okay.

You're not going to believe
what's inside of this.

Take a look.

So?

So?

Well, I bet you don't
remember what this is.

It's the picture
Dad left us.

Right! And... I bet
you don't remember

what's written
on the back.

It says, "You're rich."

Two for two. Okay.

I'm going to jump right
into the lightning round.

I bet you don't remember
what that means.

It means that...
that we're rich

because we
have each other.

No, no, Brian. It means
the nuthouse was right

when they lured Dad
into that van

with a net and a Chunky.

(knocking)

Joe Hackett?
Yeah, that's me.

Hi. Al Skoog. We
have an appointment.
Excuse me, excuse me.

We're right in the middle
of something important here.

No, no, come on in, Mr. Skoog.

My brother and I
were just finishing up.

Oh, yes,
the brother.

Party of the
second part.

What?
What is this?

Brian, Mr. Skoog is an attorney.

I hired him to handle the
dissolution of our partnership.

You hired
a lawyer?!

Look, Brian, I want everything
to be absolutely legal

and, uh, Mr. Skoog
comes highly recommended.

"Al Skoog,
steam cleaning:

"Carpets, upholstery
and draperies.

'Don't just clean it,
Skoogerize it.'"

It's my other business.

"Al Skoog,
attorney-at-law.

"Corporate, civil
and bankruptcy.

'We're not just good,
we're Skoogerrific.'"

Joey, Joey, why are
you doing this?

What did you expect, Brian?

You thought you'd come in here,
show me that picture

and I would just melt away and
say, "Brian, all is forgiven"?

Is that what you thought?

I thought that you'd
take a look at this

and it would make you
at least think

about what it is
that you're doing.

This case isn't
going away, is it?

No. It is not.
Brian, look.

I really think that, uh,
you'll come to see

that this is the best thing
for all of us.

Yeah, yeah. No, you're right,
you're right.

Because you know
what's best for everybody.

Well, fine. You got your way.

I'm out of here.

You look a little down.

It's all right.
I'll be okay.

Listen, I own
a bar in town.

Come on,
I'll buy you

a pitcher
of Skoogaritas.

Yes. Just send those
Encyclopedia Britannica

to Mr. Brian Hackett.

Right. Right.

Yes. Uh, 627 Cherry Street,
Nantucket, Massachusetts.

(laughs):
Yeah!

Chump.

Uh, name on the credit card?

Yeah. Antonio Scarpacci.

Hi, honey.

Hey!

Listen, I was thinking

why don't we go out
to dinner tonight--

that new rib place.

Ooh! Somebody
found a coupon.

Oh, listen, by the way,

have you seen Casey
this morning?

Casey? I would think
she'd be the last person

in the world
you'd want to see.

No. She's exactly the
person I'd like to see.

What? Aren't you furious
with her?

Oh, yes, and she will pay.

She will pay dearly.

Everybody has a soft
underbelly, Joe.

You just have to figure
out how to rip it open.

Honey, uh, you scare me
a little bit

when you talk like that.

Then don't ever cross me.

Okay. I'll remember that.

Helen? Um, I went
to the house

to try to salvage
something for you,

but... the place is toast.

So just go ahead
and get angry

and whatever
you're going to do to me

just go ahead
and get it over with.

Oh, please, Casey.

It was an accident.

Accidents happen.

I'm okay with it.

Oh!

Thank you, Helen.

(nervous chuckle):
Wow!

I mean, I was so worried.

Really! I couldn't eat,

I couldn't sleep, I just kept
thinking and thinking--

"What is she going
to do to me?

Oh. Is that...
my dress?

Oh, this?

Oh, yeah. I guess it is.

My original Valentino

that I bought in Paris,
that he altered himself

on his own hands
and knees?

Yeah. Fits me good.

Um, you know, all my stuff
was destroyed in the fire,

so I just grabbed it
this morning.

But it was stored
in a zipped bag

way, way, way back
in my closet.

Whatever. Hand me
those ketchup bottles.

What do you want
with these?

Oh, I got to fill 'em up.

Oh! Oh.
You know what?

How about if I
just do that for you?

Oh, that's all right.

It's my job.
I need to do this.

You know what?

Why don't you just...

Aren't you going
to change first?

Oh, no, honey.

It would be just silly

to do that because
after this

I've got to go
clean the grease traps.

Hold those bottles.

Okay.

Hello! I'm back!

Fay! Hi!
Welcome back.

Oh, thank you!

How was your cruise?

Oh, it was enchanting.

Joe, Iceland is everything
they said it is.

Well, that's why they call it
the land of...

Iceland.

Oh, it was wonderful.

Joe, we sailed
to Reykjavik

Kopavogur, Hafnar...
(mumbles) ...fjordur.

And the best part, Joe,
I met a man: Lyle.

I fell, Joe.

I fell hard.

Oh, that sounds
very romantic.

No, I mean, I fell hard
during the lifeboat drill,

but Lyle was there
to pick me up

and then we talked
and talked

and got hammered
on chi-chis.

Joe!
Flight was great.

Oh, and you were right.

That plane
handles like a dream.

Good. Scott,
I want you to meet Fay.

Fay, this is our
new pilot, Scott Sommers.

Nice to meet you!

Pleasure.
Pleasure.

It's about time you
got somebody to help out.

You and Brian have been
running yourselves ragged.

Well, actually, Fay,

Brian doesn't work here
anymore.

What are you
talking about?

I bought Brian
out of Sandpiper.

Uh, we're no longer partners.

Oh, now, wait a minute.

I mean, you boys have had
your rifts in the past,

but what in the world
could justify

your kicking
your own brother out?

He was having sex with Casey
and he b*rned down our house.

That will do it.

Welcome aboard.

Yes, Lyle, I got the pictures
back from our cruise.

There's a wonderful one of you
on the lido deck

in your cute madras shorts

and your black
knee socks.

I want you bad.

(knock at door)

Hey, honey, are you busy?

Well, I'm in the middle of...

What are you wearing?

Chanel.

You don't own a Chanel.

I do now.

Look, what is going on
with you and Brian

is between you guys

and it's not my
place to interfere.

Thank you.
But here's how
it's gonna be.

You are not gonna let
Brian leave Nantucket
and that's that.

I am not forcing him to leave.

Joe, come on.

How can he possibly
stay here

with what's going on
between you two?

I don't own this island.
He can stay as long as he wants.

Joe...
Look, I-I

don't want
to talk about this anymore.

You know, I can't change
the way I feel

and if Brian
feels the way he does

and wants to leave,
that's his decision.

This surprises me.

I-I cannot believe
how unfeeling, how calculating,

how cruel you are
to your own flesh and blood.

Um, Helen, have
you seen my...

(gasps)

(screaming)

Think about it.

Oh, Hackett,
don't leave.

But...

Hey, hey, hey.

Pull yourself together.

But I still
don't understand
why you have to go.

Roy, with everything
that's happening

between me and Joe,
it's just too hard
to work here.

But-But-But what about us?

I opened up to you.

I know you did, and
I'm glad it was me.

Anyone else would have
notified the authorities.

Oh, Brian,
there's a phone
call for you.

No, there's not.

(evil laugh)

Watch your back!

(laughing)

Oh, better yet, watch the mail.

You're getting a big box
from Eddie Bauer!

(knocking, door opens)

Uh... be out of here
in a minute.

I just want to pack my up stuff.

I already took care of it.

Hey, what took
you so long, Joey?

Oh, uh, don't forget
your suitcase.

Dad left that to both of us
when he d*ed.

Yeah, well, I don't want it.

Neither do I.

MAN:
You're not
throwing away

my good suitcase,
are you?

That's genuine
imitation alligator.

Dad?

What are you doing here?

You tell me.

Oh, all right,
okay, okay, I get it.

I know why this
is happening.

Everyone else
is sticking in

their two cents
about Brian.

Well, you might
as well, too.

Well, why not?

Just because I'm dead,

it doesn't mean
I don't have opinions.

You know what? Whatever it is,
I really don't want to hear it.

So I'm just gonna close my eyes,

and when I open them,
you're gonna be gone.

Boo!

(screams)

I could always
get you with that one.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Oh, boy,
other dads did crazy stuff

like help their kids with
homework or coach soccer,

but my father, he knew the value

of a well-placed
whoopee cushion.

Come on, Joe, lighten up.

You're always so darn serious.

You know what?
I hate it when people say that.

"Joe's the serious one.
Joe's the uptight one.

Brian's the fun one."

Well, excuse me, but
someone in this family
had to be responsible.

We certainly couldn't
count on you.

So I flipped out a little.
Can you blame me?

Your mother wakes me up
one morning and says,

"The boys' beds are made,
your breakfast is on the table,

I'm moving to Phoenix,
and you're not."

Now I think,
under the circumstances,

I behaved very well.

Yeah, Dad, you were a rock.

I'm just a kid.

I get a call from
the Women's Auxiliary.

"Come and get your father.

He's at our chili
cook-off and he's nude."

I still don't think that was
any reason to disqualify me.

Joe, what I came here
to tell you...

Yeah, I know what you
came to tell me.

Brian's my brother.
He didn't mean it.

He's just like that.

Well, how the hell would
you know what he's like?

I am the one
that raised him.

I'm the one that made his
dinner, I got him to school.

I'm the one that
took care of him
when he had the flu.

In the night, when he woke
up with a nightmare,

he came to me, not to you.

So, whatever you have to
say, I don't want hear it.

You don't have the
right to say anything.

Okay.

But I'm going to say it anyway.

I'm proud of you.

What?

Look, the way
you were brought up,

you had every right

to be in one of those
sniveling support groups,

saying, "Hi, my name is Joe,
and I've had a bum childhood."

Hey, those things help.

Look at all
you've accomplished:

You have a successful business,

you married a great girl,

and you've grown up
to be a hell of a guy.

You want money,
don't you?

Joe, look,

what I came here
to tell you is that I think

that you're doing
the right thing about Brian.

Really?

Absolutely.

Rebuild your house,
get on with your own life

and tell Brian
to hit the highway.

Believe me.

It's no big loss.

Usually, people
don't see their families

except around Christmastime
and birthdays anyway

and you know what
nightmares they can be.

Tell me about it.

Every year is worse
than the last.

Remember your 13th birthday?

That was the one
where I bought you

the bicycle
and it came unassembled?

And Brian thought
it was a great idea

to surprise you by putting
it together himself.

Oh, yeah, right.

He did a pretty
good job, too.

He just left out

that one teeny, little
unimportant thing--

the brake pads.

You remember
the first thing you did?

I put away the box and filled
out the warranty card.

I mean after that.

Uh, yeah, yeah, right.

I went to the top
of su1c1de Hill

and raced straight down
at full speed.

Right.

That wasn't funny.
I could have gotten hurt.

The only thing that saved me

was crashing into
that snowman.

That was no snowman.

That was the Mather kid in a
white parka chewing on a carrot.

(laughing)

Oh, yeah.

Oh, that's right.

That's right. Oh, wow.

I was so angry with Brian.

I don't blame you.

He tried to k*ll you.

He didn't try to k*ll me.
He just...

just wasn't thinking.

He was trying to surprise me.

Yeah.

Well, that's
ancient history.

Take care of yourself, kid.

You leaving already?

Yeah, you've had enough family
for one day.

And, look, no second thoughts
about Brian.

You're not going to miss him.

After all, you didn't
miss your mother.

You don't miss me.

I never said
I didn't miss you.

Well, you never said you did.

Well, I guess...

I just didn't realize
it till you were gone.

Well, that's a damn shame.

Because now...

all you can do is...

miss me.

Don't go.

Uh... I'll just take
the last box, and I'll go.

I'll let you know

where to send the last check,
okay?

Well...

(grunting)

have a nice life.

Brian?

Yeah?

Don't go.