07x09 - The Big Sleep

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Wings". Aired: April 19, 1990, to May 21, 1997.*
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Two brothers, Joe and Brian Hackett, run a one-plane commuter service from a small Nantucket airport.
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07x09 - The Big Sleep

Post by bunniefuu »

Yes... yes.

"If you can conceive it,
you can achieve it."

Oh... that is so true.

Fay, don't worry.

Your hair looks fine.

Oh, really?

You don't think it looks
a little matronly?

Oh, would you stop
being so insecure?

Oh. Uh, Antonio...

do you think my hair
looks a little drab?

Yes, yes... of course.

Oh, thanks.

Ever heard of a little something
called tact?

Morning, Scarpacci.

Of course.

I am the one who
determines my own fate.

Oh, no,
you're not listening

to one of those moronic,

self-improvement
tapes, are you?

Yes, yes...
I am the one.

Oh, you're the one,
all right.

Hey, Scarpacci. Hey.

Oh, oh, sorry, Roy.

I was just listening
to one of those wonderful

self-improvement tapes.

It's called Life: Grab It,
It's Yours, by John Gold.

Four tapes, only $495.

My days of being
taken advantage of are over.

Scarpacci, how can you
waste your money

on those late-night
infomercial things?

None of that stuff works.

How do you know?

Hey... do these look
like buns of steel?

HELEN:
Casey, wait.

What's different
about you?

You look so...

...employed.

Don't I?

And as Nantucket's new
assistant director of tourism,

I've already come up
with a great idea.

You know, I figure, if you
want to attract tourists,

you have to come up
with a catchy slogan.

You know, like
"I love New York"

or "Virginia
is for lovers."

Well, check this out.

"Welcome to Nantucket:

"Approximately
56 square miles of smiles

which you'll enjoy,
especially in summer."

Kind of...

Kind of rolls
right off the tongue.

And just keeps
on rolling.

Wish me luck-- I'm presenting
it this afternoon.

And probably
well into the evening.

Hey, Helen,
I got the plans.

(as Boris Badenov):
Plans? Good, Natasha.

Now we can finally get rid
of Moose and Squirrel.

Okay, come on, Joe.

Can't wait to
see the house.

Yeah, here they are,
look at this. Huh?
Here we go.

Look at that.
Oh...

(gasps)
Wow.

It's just beautiful.

See, we didn't need
some world-famous architect.

All we needed was someone young
and hungry.

Yeah, that's right, who cares
if he's the day manager

of a Baskin-Robbins?

Listen, maybe if you pay him
a little extra

he'll put sprinkles on the roof.

Oh, look,
here's our living room

with a window seat.

It's exactly
how I imagined it...

And our kitchen

with a butcher block
counter.

Look at this.
This is the best part.

Remember that big closet
in our bedroom?

My walk-in closet.

Right, well, by
eliminating it,

the architect says
we'll have enough room

to build a cabinet

that will hold a 60-inch TV.

Whoa, 60 inches!

Super Bowl--
Joe's house.

Super Bowl?

What about Monday Night
Football once a week?

Hey, hey, hey, guys, guys,
you're forgetting something.

There are games on
Saturday and Sunday, too!

(hooting and laughing)

(quietly):
I don't... I don't
think I want

a 60-inch TV
in the bedroom.

What did she say?

She said she doesn't
want the big TV.

Helen, you don't understand.

The beautiful part of this

is that there'll be
a decent closet and a big TV.

No, but I had my heart
set on a walk-in closet.

What did she say?

She said she wants
the walk-in.

If you just look
at the plans,

I think
you'll appreciate

what the architect
and I did here.

What?

You went to
the architect

and made changes
without me?

How could you do that?

What did she say?

What, am I speaking
German here?

Don't you guys have
something better to do?

Well, you heard that,
didn't you?

Yeah, but I'm not going
there every Monday night

just to look
at a closet.

I can't believe
you would make

that important of a
decision without me.

What decision?

A big TV versus
a stupid closet?

It's a no-brainer.

You got that right.

First thing
in the morning

we are flying to Boston

and we're going to tell that
architect to put it back.

Oh, so now you're making
all the decisions?

Yep. See how it feels?

Well, you know what,
I'm not giving up my TV.

Well, too bad, because
I want my closet.

Oh, look, the plans
for your new house.

A little love nest.

Oh, it's so romantic.

How I envy you two.

This isn't over.

Not by a
long sh*t.

They're headed for court.

Helen, what are you doing?

Trying to find my black dress
that I'm wearing tomorrow.

But it's really hard to find

in this teeny, tiny closet
that the two of us are sharing.

Well, keep it down, would you?

I'm trying to watch Jurassic
Park on my five-inch TV.

Ooh, scary.

It's just like
being in the theater.

Here it is.

Will you turn
that thing off?

I want to go to bed.

You know,
I just don't understand

why you are so mad at me.
I don't want to
talk about it.

All I did...
I'm tired.

All right, okay,
fine, I give up, okay?

You can have your closet,
all right?

Tomorrow,
we'll fly to Boston.

We'll tell the architect
to put it back in.

There, are you happy?

You just don't
get it, do you?

Well, let me see.

You're getting your own way,
and you're still mad at me.

No, I guess I don't.

Okay, let me give you
a hypothetical situation.

Oh, no, no, not a hypothetical,
I hate those.

Let's just say,
for argument's sake,

that I am in a coma.

Okay, I'm listening.

Okay, so I'm
in this coma...

How did you get
in this coma, anyway?

A big TV fell on me.
What's the difference?

All right, we are
right in the middle

of choosing colors
for our bathroom

and we have narrowed it
down to Buttercup Yellow

or Robin's Egg Blue.

The decorator
is pressing you

to give her an
answer today.

What kind
of a decorator is this?

You're in a coma.

She can't stop for
every coma, Joe.

She needs an
answer today.

Okay, um... Buttercup?

I can't believe
you said... Oh!

No, Robin's Egg,
Robin's Egg!

I pick Robin's Egg.
I can't believe

that you would make
a decision without me!

But you're in a coma.
Well, you don't know

how long I'm going
to be in that coma.

I could snap out
like that.

Don't you think that's
what I'm praying for?

Okay... forget
about the coma.

The point is, is
you did it again.

Did what?

You made another
decision without me.
Oh...

That's it, forget it.

Joe, no.

We can't go
to sleep yet.

Forget it, Helen,
even I'm not in the mood.

No, no, they say you're not
supposed to go to bed angry.

They. Who's they?

They, they, them, them,
whoever, it doesn't matter.

The point is, is you're
not supposed to do it.

All right.

Okay, Helen, you're right.

You're right. I'm sorry.

Me, too.

I want that TV.

Over my dead body!

Congratulate me,
my slogan was approved.

(laughs)

You're kidding.

That's right.

"Welcome to Nantucket.

"Approximately 56 square miles
of smiles

which you will enjoy,
especially in summer."

Well, that's just insane.

I will have you know
that it won out

over some very
strong contenders.

Really. Like what?

"Nantucket, Isle of Lepers"?

Or... "Nantucket,
haven for Nazis"?

(gasps)

Fine, go ahead,
make your jokes.

But I will have you know

that my boss
loved my slogan.

He loved it so much

that he offered to take me
to dinner anywhere I want,

even off the island.

Matter of fact, he says it's
better if it is off the island.

"Especially in summer"?

That's just insane.

What's the matter?
You look like hell.

Ah, Helen and I had this
big fight last night.

Really? Why? What about?

I don't even know.

One minute, it was about
small closets and big TVs,

the next minute,
Helen was in a coma.

Anyway, we went
to bed angry.

Woke up angry.

We're still not talking.

Wait a second, this
doesn't sound good.

Don't tell me
you caved in on the big TV?

Yeah, I did but...
No!

Don't give me any grief
about it, okay,

'cause I didn't get
any sleep last night.

I had this
terrible dream.

Yeah, I had a dream, too,

and it included 60 inches
of John Madden's big, red face.

This dream was really weird,
man.

There was a... a clown
at Sandpiper and...

Oh, man, I don't want
to talk about it.

Wait, there was a clown
in your dream?

Yeah, why?

Well, because one time,
I was reading this book

about dream symbolism.

For instance, if you're
under water in a dream,

that's about sex.

Really?

What about a clown?

Well, that's about sex.

Well, trust me, after this fight
with Helen last night,

I didn't get any clown.

So tell me more
about your dream.

Well, it was so bizarre.
I mean, um...

I was in the middle
of the terminal

and I was trampled
by a herd of tigers...

Well, that's about group sex.

And then it got really,
really weird.

Budd... Budd, the mechanic,
had a crush on me.

And then, Roy started
peeling off all his clothes

and doing a belly dance.

Well, that's about enough.

There... there's more.

Helen and I got on the plane
to go to Boston.

Antonio sort of
forced his way on,

and then the engine
started sputtering,

went into a dive,
we crashed, and-and we d*ed.

It was just
a bad dream.

No, no, wait,
wait a second.

You actually d*ed
in your dream?

Go ahead, tell me
it's about sex.

What, is everything
sex with you?

This is about death,
and death dreams

you pay attention to.

You're not flying today.

Yes, I am-- Helen and I
have got to go to Boston

to tell the architect to
put back the stupid closet.

Joe, listen to me.

I don't want to upset you,
but let me put it this way:

You fly, you die.

You're going to have
to excuse me, Brian.

I'm late, I have
an appointment...

with reality!

I'm telling you, Joe,

dreams come from
your subconscious.

And yours is trying
to warn you.

Brian, would you relax.

It was just a dream.

I'm sorry I'm late.

I just came from
the beauty parlor.

So?

What do you think?

My God.

You're the clown.

Joe, Joe, look!

The clown, Joe.

She's the clown, Joe.

All right.

That's one opinion.

Joe?

So she looks
like a clown.

That doesn't prove anything.

You know, I'm a human being.

I have feelings.

I'm sensitive.

Wait till I get my hands
on that hairdresser.

The little peckerwood told me
I looked like Ann-Margret.

Brian, I know what
you're thinking

and you are...
no, you're wrong.

There is no such thing
as a premonition.

(boys hollering)

Hey, come on, guys, slow down,
slow down.

Joe, Joe, look...

Look, what it says
on their jerseys, man. Look.

O-o-okay, okay.

It says "tigers." Yeah...
Tigers.

There was a clown
in the terminal,

I was trampled
by tigers. Right?

You're reading way
too much into this.

Hello, Joe.

Today, I am going
to Boston

to attend John
Gold's lecture

called Life: Don't
Ask, Just Take.

Good for you, Antonio.

Eh! Here's how
this impacts you.

You will give me
a free seat

on your next flight.

Hey, Antonio...
A free seat

in the front of the
plane, next to a window.

And I want a pillow
and a bag of peanuts.

Look, Antonio...
No. No.

There is no
argument here.

As John Gold says,

"Have the nerve
to deserve."

Yeah, well,
you have the nerve.

Thank you, the pleasure
is all yours.

I can't believe him.

Hey, I can't believe you!

Did you just see
what he did?

Antonio forced his way
onto the plane,

just like
in your dream.

Yeah, okay, I guess
he was a little pushy.

Pushy?
But you know what?
Wait a minute.

I'm not just going
to buy into this.

Hey, Budd, let me
ask you something.

When is the last time

you did a complete maintenance
on the plane?

Just completed, sir-- checked
the plane from nose to tail.

She's never been
more airworthy, sir.

"Airworthy."
Are you sure?

I have the utmost confidence
in that craft, sir.

He was going to ground me

just 'cause I had a dream
I d*ed in a crash.

You had a...

death dream, sir?

Yeah. So?

Don't go, sir!

Don't go, please!

I beg you!

Please, Budd,
you're crushing me.

Crush...

Crush!

Crush-- just like
in your dream.

He's got
a crush on you!

These are perfectly
normal feelings

of friendship
and loyalty.

CASEY:
Roy.
Huh?

I'm handing
these buttons out

to all of the
airport employees

to try to promote
the island.

What a stupid slogan.

I'm not wearing that.

Hey!
I'll have you know

that the guys in the tower
love my slogan.

Oh, yeah?
They'd say anything.

They haven't seen
a woman in 20 years.

Everybody's a critic.

Hey, in case
you're curious,

there's a big, hairy spider
on your collar.

Oh, whoa, get it off.

Get it off, I hate spiders.

Somebody help me.

Come on, somebody, help me.

BRIAN:
It's the belly dance!

Joe, Joe,
the belly dance!

Oh, my God,
I'm going to die.

No, not if you don't get
on that plane, you won't.

Okay, Joe, ready
to go to Boston?

Uh...

Helen, um,
do we really have to go

and see the architect today?

What do you mean?

Well, uh... hazardous
weather conditions.

There's not a
cloud in the sky.

That's right,
it's calm out there.

Perhaps a little too calm.

Very clever, guys.

You think if you can
get me to wait one day,

that I'll change my mind
and you'll get your TV.

No, no, this is
not about the TV.

That's right, it's about
you going back on your word.

He is not going
back on his word.

Helen, he's got
a perfectly good reason

why he's not going
to fly to Boston today.

What's that?

He got some bad mogambo
happenin'.

What is wrong with you?
He's right.

Bad mogambo.

See, I had this dream
about a clown and tigers

and Roy doing
a belly dance,

and so far, it's
all come true.

What?
No, no, Helen,
you don't understand.

And then you and I got
on the plane with Antonio,

and we crashed.

Don't you see
what this means?

Yeah, it means
you'll do anything to
get that stupid TV.

Come on, let's go.

(coughs):
Mogambo. Mogambo.

Helen, Helen.

Listen, you don't understand.

You are messing
with a force

of enormous
destructive power.

So are you.

"I am strong.

"I'm powerful.

"I have my own mind.

"I rely on no one's ideas
but my own.

Turn tape over."

I can't believe

you tried to weasel
out of going

to see
the architect today.

Helen, I didn't try to
weasel out of anything.

I just had a dream.

Oh, yeah, the dream.

Ooga-booga.

(engine sputtering, rattling)
Joe?

Yeah, I know, I know.

I demand a smoother ride,
please.

(engine sputtering)

Joe, what is that?

That's what we pilots call
"a real bad noise."

Please tell me you're just
doing this to scare me.

Yeah, that's right,
I thought I'd k*ll us both

just to teach you a lesson.

I have bitten a bitter peanut.

I demand a replacement.

(engine sputtering)

Hey, that's a real bad noise.

I would like that noise
to stop, now.

(sputtering stops)

Ah...

Wow, that's amazing,
he willed it to stop.

Yeah, it stopped because
the number two engine just d*ed.

This is Nevada
1-2-1, Papa-Papa.

Brian, come in, we
got a slight problem.

BRIAN:
You're going down, aren't you?

Yeah, that's the slight problem.

The number two engine just d*ed,
we're 5,000 feet.

I'm coming around
for an emergency landing.

You happy now, Helen?

We got a major
mogambo situation

happening here.

BUDD:
Sir, this is Budd.

Don't worry,
that number one engine

is as good
as the day she was built.

Just hold steady and she'll get
you back home safe and sound.

Over and out.

BUDD:
God help those poor bastards.

Budd, is your finger
still on the mic?

Oops.

It's okay, we still have
one good engine, right?

We can make it in.

Yeah, sure we can.
Okay.

(sputtering)

Oh, that's another
real bad noise, isn't it?

Yeah, I'm afraid so.

Oh, we're going down,
aren't we?

I'm afraid so.

"Tape four: Living
a Long and Healthy Life."

Ah, I see we've started
our descent.

And ahead of schedule, too.

Just as I willed it.

Antonio, both engines d*ed--
we're plummeting into the ocean!

What?

Nonsense.

The problem is,
as John Gold would say,

that you are accepting
that the plane is going down.

I demand that this plane go up.

Up, plane, up.

How are we doing?

Oh, we're about
to split a whale in half.

Okay, okay, time to get serious.

Up, plane, up.

We're at 2,000 feet.

Oh, God!

Up, plane!

Up!
1,500 feet.

(shouting):
Please, please, plane, up, up!

1,000 feet.

Oh, God!

John Gold, I'll see you in hell!

Assume crash
positions.

What's that?

The position you want
to be found dead in.

Joe, I'm sorry we fought.

Me, too. I love you.
I love you.

If we have to go, at least
we get to go together.

I have a confession to make.

I've had impure thoughts
about my fat Aunt Graziella.

Helen!

Oh, Joe!

Aunt Graziella!

(gasps)

Helen.

Helen, wake up.

What?
What's wrong?

Oh, I had a horrible dream.

Oh, honey.

It was so weird.

In my dream,
I had another dream

that we were in the plane
and it went down.

And-and-and I told Brian
about it,

and he warned us
not to go on the plane,

but we did anyway and...
and we were k*lled.

(gasps)

That's terrible.

Promise me, we will never
go to bed angry again.

I promise.

And, honey, if this is
upsetting you this much...

you can have your big TV.

Really?

But what about
your closet?

Oh, it doesn't
matter.

What matters is
that you're happy.

And if you're happy...

I'm happy.

Hey, as long
as we're up...

(gasps)

Helen.

Helen, wake up.

What?

Oh...

Oh, I had
a horrible dream.

Oh, it was so weird.

In my dream,
I had another dream

that we were in the plane
and it crashed, and, uh...

then I woke up
and I told you about it,

and that turned out
to be a dream, too.

But, uh... oh, wow,
you were so great.

You were so great and
understanding and, uh...

...you said I can have
my big TV and...

...then we kissed
and, uh...

and then we...

Boy, you were dreaming.

I don't believe that.

It's true.

That is the weirdest
dream I ever heard, man.

They actually
approved Casey's slogan?

Oh... man.

Well, that's just insane.

I know.

It was just a dream.

Dreams have nothing
to do with reality.

Yeah, I guess
you're right.
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