07x14 - Bye George

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Wings". Aired: April 19, 1990, to May 21, 1997.*
Watch/Buy Amazon


Two brothers, Joe and Brian Hackett, run a one-plane commuter service from a small Nantucket airport.
Post Reply

07x14 - Bye George

Post by bunniefuu »

Hey, Joey, come on.

We need one more
on the tarmac

for a game of touch.

Hey, great, I'm there.

Hey, wait, wait,
wait, wait.

You're not going outside
without a jacket.

It's freezing
out there.

Helen, do I have
to wear a jacket?

Brian's not wearing one.

I don't care what the
other boys are wearing.

You know how easily
you catch colds.

But, Helen...

All right, Joey, Joey,
let me handle this. Okay.

Aw, gee whiz,
Mrs. Hackett...

if you make Joey
go out there with a jacket,

the other fellows will really
give him the business.

Look, honey, we'll go out there,
we'll run around,

we'll get warmed up.

If I wear a jacket,
I'll just get overheated.

Besides, you're not
the boss of me.

Well, fine...

but when you are sick in bed,

don't come whining to me,
"Helen, bring me aspirin."

"Helen, bring me orange juice."

Helen!

Bring me nose drops.

Helen?

Helen!

Uh, Helen, can you
bring me some coffee?

Bring you coffee?

Well, can I bring you
anything else?

How about some aspirin,
orange juice?

How about a
sponge bath?

You know what,
skip the coffee.

I'll just go
with the sponge bath.

I'm sorry, Antonio.

Joe's been sick,
and all he does

is complain
night and day.

He's acting like
such a baby.

( phone rings )

Hi, honey.

Oh...

Oh, I know
you're not feeling good.

Oh, your nose is running?

Oh, your throat's scratchy?

And your tummy's hurting?

Oh, baby, tell me all about it.

Fay, don't you
look nice today.

I'll bet I know

why she's all dressed up.

That guy from the cruise

is coming here
to visit her.

So you all excited
about it?

Well, I was,
but now I'm not so sure.

I mean, how well
do I really know this man?

All I know is
his name is Lyle,

he's from New York,
and he hogs the covers.

Luxury cruise--

that's the way
to travel.

I came over here
on a Greek freighter.

I mean, stuff was
going on, but...

FAY:
What was I thinking,

inviting a man I hardly know
to spend a week with me?

I must have been
out of my mind.

Oh, Cochran, relax.

What's the worst
that can happen, huh?

So it's a little awkward
at first.

So he suggests
having a few drinks

to loosen things up.

Next thing
you know,

he's in Rio with your jewelry
and your T-bills,

while you are handcuffed
to a water heater,

trying to dial 9-1-1
with your big toe.

I got to get out
of this.

Fay, what are
you doing here?

I thought you were going
to take the day off

to spend with your boy toy.

No, no, no... Brian,
you have to help me.

I've made
a horrible mistake.

I don't think I did

the right thing
inviting him here.

Okay, I see.
Well, I'll tell you what--

when he gets here,

I'll keep you real busy,
and that way,

you don't have to spend
too much time with him, okay?

Okay.

Fay.

Oh, Lyle.

How are you?

I didn't think
it was possible,

but you're even more
beautiful on dry land.

Oh, Lyle...

you're so sweet.

I have to admit
that I was a bit nervous

about coming
to see you again.

And now that I'm here,
looking into your eyes,

I realize
I was being foolish.

Really?

You had doubts?

Shame on you.

BRIAN:
Come on, Fay,
break's over!

Chop, chop!
We got a business to run.

No, no, no, Brian...

I'd like you to meet
my good friend Lyle.

How are you?
Heard a lot about you.

Listen, uh... don't expect
to see too much of Fay,

because we might have to pull
an all-nighter.

No, Brian,
I don't think

we need to do that
'cause, you see,

I'm going to be going
out with my friend Lyle,

who I'm very glad
is here, really.

That's too bad, Fay,
because you know,

these work things,

if they don't get done
well, then...

Hey.

Well, that's all right, Fay.

If you have to work...

No, I don't have
to work, Brian.

Fay...

don't give me
a hard time.

Come on, let's go.

Now, listen, you boob...

Lyle and I
are going out today.

I am not working today.

Do you understand?

Yeah, yeah,
that's great.

Listen, Fay,
ease up a bit, okay?

You're making this much harder
than it has to be.

Come on, Lyle let's go.

Fay! You get in that office
right now!

Oh, honey, just know
that I'm here for you.

Hey, you must be Lyle.

I'm Helen.

Nice to meet you.

Hey, hey,
hey, buddy...

Before you get
any big ideas,

Cochran here doesn't have
a pot to pee in.

Roy...

Just looking out
for you, babe.

I assure you, sir,

my intentions
are entirely honorable.

Well, I hope
not entirely.

Hi, Lyle.
I'm Antonio Scarpacci.

May I say it's a pleasure
to meet you.

Oh, thank you.

I understand
you're retired.

I envy you people.

Getting into movies
for half-price...

eating dinner at 4:30,

not to mention all the bingo
bingo, bingo.

You silver foxes,
you really got it made.

Well, I paid my dues.

For 35 years
I worked as a maitre d'.

You were a maitre d'?

At one of the finest
restaurants in New York.

As a matter of fact,
I'm writing a book about it.

It's called Right This Way.

I'm warning you, Fay,
you walk out that door,

don't bother coming back.

( grunts )

( grunts )

Helen, when Joe
first started getting sick,

what were his symptoms?

He was completely
annoying,

he never gave me
a moment's peace,

and he whined
like a baby.

I think I have that.

Oh...

getting sick.

I hate getting sick.

Well, it's a good
thing I'm here.

Take this.

Why?

Trust me. I
always take these.

I haven't been sick
in eight years.

Just put it
under your tongue

and let it dissolve.

What is it?

Dehydrated sea anemone,
fish brains,

and just a little
mosquito larva for taste.

I hate you.

So, where's Fay
and her maitre d'?

What is it with you
and maitre d's?

When I was a waiter
I had my fill of them.

You know, their turned up noses
and their fancy tuxedos,

and all the time
with the snapping,

you know, the snapping.

"Bus this," "Clean that,"
"Wipe this," "k*ll that."

Turns my stomach to think
Fay is dating a stinking "d."

Well, I got nothing
against d's.

As a matter of fact

one of them moved
in next door to me.

Oh, God.

No, no, no. He's
a perfectly nice guy.

First night he spotted
me over the fence

and he invited
me to dinner.

( snapping fingers )

Gave me a real nice
table by the window.

Hey, you two.

You enjoying
the island?

I never knew how exciting
Nantucket could be.

Oh, doing a little
sightseeing.

Who said anything
about sightseeing?

You don't have to
draw me a picture.

FAY:
Oh, Budd,
I'd like you

to meet my friend Lyle.

( yelling ):
It's a pleasure
to meet you!

My name's Budd Bronski!

Uh, Bud...
he's not deaf.

Oh, yeah, sorry.

I've been working
on the power drill!

So, Lyle...!

Budd! Budd...

Oh.

( very softly ):
Lyle, I just wanted to say,

it's a pleasure
having you here...

( inaudible )

( stamps foot )

Okay, we'll see you.

Well, I'm glad
you're all here

because there's something
that I want to say...

Fay, Fay, Fay, Fay,
one second, please.

( phone rings )

Hi, honey.

Well, everyone, there is
something that I want to say...

Oh, there you are.

Listen, that larva
you gave me sucks.

I still feel lousy.

Look, I know exactly
what to do.

Come back to the house.
We'll thin your blood.

No, no, Brian, Casey,
please wait.

I have an announcement
I really want to make.

Yes, you do.
Tell everybody

that flight five will be delayed
until I come back

with thinner blood.

Attention, please.

Flight five to Boston
will be slightly delayed,

and on a personal note,

Lyle and I
are getting married tomorrow.

Fay... you're
getting married?

Wow! That is... boy...

that, what is the word
that I'm looking for?

Uh, quick?

So very quick?

Oh, that may be,

but I have waited
my entire life

to find a
woman like Fay,

and I don't want to
wait another moment.

Hold it, hold it.

Let me, uh,
let me understand this.

You mean, uh,

you have never
been married

in your whole life,
and the one

who finally
lands you is Fay?

Yeah, what are
you getting at, Roy?

Oh, nothing. Nothing.

Well,
I think that it's spontaneous

and romantic.

Thank you, Casey.

What's more exciting
than two people

just beginning to
discover each other?

I agree.

And after all, isn't
that the nastiest sex?

My, uh, every happiness
to the both of you.

Well, uh,

if you'll excuse me,
I have things to do,

arrangements to make,
rings to buy.

And now I have the title

to the final chapter
of my book.

"Table for Two."

Oh...

Oh, isn't he wonderful?

Uh, yeah, but, Fay,
this is all so...

Well, just don't say "quick."

Well, I'll say it.

It's quick!

It is too damn quick.

I mean, he's nice
and everything,

but what is the hurry?

Fay, we all care
about you very much

and we only want
to see you happy.

Just answer me this.

Do my hands
feel clammy to you?

Look, I know
it seems fast,

but why should we wait?

I mean, we're
not exactly kids;

and besides, no man

has made me feel
like this in ages.

Lyle is sweet,
he's funny,

he a gentleman.

I'm a very lucky woman.

Listen, I don't care
what any of you think.

Lyle and I are getting
married tomorrow,

in the town hall.

No, you're not.

Oh, yes, I am.

Oh, no, you're not.

You are getting married
in my home tomorrow,

and I'm going to make
all the arrangements.

Oh, that's so sweet.

Uh, you might want
to take a little Ajax

to that downstairs bathroom.

Hey. What's going on?

Oh, Antonio, I have
wonderful news.

Lyle and I are
getting married.

Well, Fay...!

Congratulations.

I wish you the very best.

Oh, thank you, Antonio.

I knew you'd be
happy for me.

Marrying a "d."

as far as I'm concerned,
she's dead to me.

Listen, uh, in case I
don't get a chance later,

I'm going to give you

your wedding
present now.

Oh, thank you, sir.

Right this way.

Antonio! Ah!

No, no, no. No, please.

Don't seat me, okay?

I can seat myself.

For the record, uh,
only reason I'm here

is out of respect for Fay.

I sense you don't like me.

Is it something I've done?

You mean other
than being a "d"?

Let me guess.

You're a waiter,
aren't you?

Was a waiter,
and a damn good one,

until one of your kind drove
me out of the business.

Yeah. It isn't
the first time

I've come up against
a bitter "wait."

You fellows look at us,
and all you see is the tux

and the cold, crisp manner,

but not one of you
ever took the time

to get to know
the man behind the podium.

Well, I mean...

All you waiters
were back in the kitchen,

drinking the leftover wine,
eating the unfinished dinners,

polishing off
the occasional creme brulee.

You... y-you knew
we did that?

Of course I did.

And don't you think
I longed to join you?

The bartenders,
the busboys,

even the dishwashers
were welcome,

but not me. Never me.

I'm so sorry.

I never knew.

Consumed with
hatred for so long.

Please, could
you forgive me?

Well, Fay,
you look beautiful.

Love that pin.

Oh, thank you.

That's my lucky
wedding brooch.

I married
all my Georges in it.

Um, Fay,
all your Georges d*ed.

Well, I said it was
my lucky brooch.

Get away from me,
you witchy woman.

I'm telling you,

you'll feel better.

I am not putting
crystals on my nipples.

Fine. Get sick.

See if I care.

( sneezing )

Oh...

Which one goes on the left?

You nervous
about the wedding night?

Probably not, seeing
as you've been shacking up

since you got here.

At least you know
what you're getting.

No surprises, huh?

Been there, done that.

So, where do you
want me to sit?

Preferably in your car.

You got it.

She's ready.

( organ playing
"The Wedding March" )

You look beautiful, Fay.

Thank you.

Dearly beloved,

marriage is one of our
most sacred institutions.

The joining together
of two people

who will love each other

for better or for worse,

for richer
or for poorer...

JOE:
Helen! Is it over yet?!

No! Shut up!

In sickness and in health
till death do you part.

Do you take this woman,
Fay Evelyn Cochran

to be your lawful
wedded wife?

I do.

And do you take this man

George Lyle...

( stammers )

What did you say?

Do you take this man,
George Lyle...

George? Why did
he call you George?

Because that's my given name,
but I never use it.

Is something wrong?

Oh, yes, something's wrong.

Of course something is wrong.

I can't marry you.

Your name is George.

How could you not tell me
your name is George?

I'm sorry. I didn't know
it was a deal-breaker.

Well, it is!

There's a curse.

Fay plus George equals death.

Dear, you're not making
any sense.

I had three husbands
named George

and they all d*ed.

Now, look, I'm not
a superstitious woman,

but if we get married,

you'll be dead before
the moon is full again.

Fay, how can I
possibly convince you

that this George curse
is ridiculous?

Ooh!

What's the matter?

I just had a kidney pain.

It's nothing, nothing.

Listen, put these
on your nipples.

You'll feel like
a million bucks.

I'll just put these puppies
back where they belong.

Fay, this is silly.

I'm in perfect health.

( moans )

What now?

A stabbing pain
in back of my eye.

Nothing to be concerned about.

Nothing to be
concerned about?

If I had a dime

for every George
who ever said that.

Excuse me!

Fay! Fay, please!

I don't understand
what's going on.

Just give her
a few minutes.

She just needs to be alone.

I don't care
about any silly curse.

She could make me
the happiest man on Earth.

( moans )

Uh, what's the matter?

Nothing, nothing.

My throat seems
to be closing up.

Just nerves, I guess.

Yeah, I'm sure
that's what it is.

Oh, God,
please, not in the house.

I'll be filling out papers
till Christmas.

Oh, Helen, finally.

Is that wedding
over yet?

Not yet, Joe.

Oh, Fay, it's you.

I'm sorry I couldn't be there
for your special day.

Uh, Joe, could I talk to you
for a minute, please?

I'm really confused.

Yeah, sure, Fay. What's wrong?

We were right
in the middle of our vows

when I found out that Lyle's
real first name is George.

Really?

His name is George?

Yes-- George!

I mean, I've already got
three dead Georges

on my hands.

I can't deal
with another one.

Oh, I don't know.

Maybe I'm just being
superstitious

and letting a wonderful man
walk out of my life.

Am I crazy?

Can there really be
such a thing as a curse?

What am I going to do, Joe?

( snoring )

Joe?

Oh! Flying slinkies!

Joe.

Oh, wow!

These antihistamines
really mess with your head.

Listen, Joe,

please try to focus.

I need your help.

Okay, the question is:

Can I really marry
someone else named George?

Let me ask you this:

After you buried
the first George,

what made you want to marry
the second one?

Oh, I loved him and...

I couldn't imagine
living without him.

All right.

So after you stuck him
in the ground...

No, actually,
he's above ground in a vault,

but go on.

A vault?

Really?

Cool.

Anyway, so then you met
George number three.

What made you want to marry him?

He had
the most beautiful blue eyes.

It was love at first sight.

I knew the moment I met him,
I wanted to be his wife.

Even though
the first two Georges

had already gone belly up?

Why'd you take the risk?

I loved him so much,
I couldn't not marry him.

Well, maybe that's your problem.

What do you mean?

Maybe what you have
to ask yourself is:

Do I love this George enough
to k*ll him?

Well, he's a wonderful man.

I mean, he's kind...

Do you love him enough
to buy him a headstone?

No.

I'd just be k*lling for sport.

Well, I guess
you have your answer.

I guess I do.

Oh, poor Lyle.

This is going
to break his heart.

Well, I guess that's better
than stopping it.

Oh, Lyle.

Are you okay?

Quite-quite all right.

Funny.

I almost never have nosebleeds.

Well, it's all better now.

Lyle, I want you to know

that I care for you
very much.

Fay, you needn't go on.

I know that look.

It's the look people had when
they came into the restaurant

and said, "We're not sure.
Can we just look at the menu?"

and they never sat down.

You're just looking
at the menu, aren't you, Fay?

I'm sorry, Lyle.

You sure about this?

There's nothing I can say
or do to change your mind?

I'm afraid not.

I see.

May I at least have
a kiss good-bye?

Oh...

( groans )

My back.

I have a question:

What's the quickest way
to the airport?

Right this way.
Post Reply