Well, I'm off.
It took me eight years
but I finally got
a paid vacation out of Joe.
What are you going to do?
I'm going on a traveling
m*rder mystery weekend.
I've heard of those-- that's
where you go on a train trip
and then somebody pretends
to get k*lled
and you have to figure out
who the m*rder*r is.
Cochran, are you sure
you want to be cooped up
with a bunch of people
in a train for that long?
Of course not.
I would never do anything
that cheesy.
This one's on a bus.
No, I think
it's going to be very exciting.
At any moment,
the person next to you
can clutch his chest
and keel over.
Just make sure he doesn't clutch
your chest and keel over.
I think
you're both jealous.
I'm going to have
the time of my life.
This is
a first-class operation
with a very
sophisticated clientele.
(horn honking "Funeral March")
Oh, that's my bus.
Well, uh, thank you very much
for coming in, Mr., uh...
Doe.
So, when do I start?
Well, uh, as we explained,
it's just a temp job.
We have your resume,
so, uh, we'll call you.
That sounds
like a kiss-off.
No, no, no.
We really will call you.
Yeah, yeah, right.
Well, what did
you think?
Well, uh, he was
the best one yet.
Yeah.
One thing that kind of
bothered me about his resume.
No, I'm okay with the
overturned homicide conviction.
I just kind of wish
that it hadn't been
his last boss.
All right, look, listen,
he'd only be working
for us for a few days.
It's not like
we're replacing Fay.
(knock on glass)
Hi. I'm Shannon Carson.
I'm here about the job.
Oh, well, now, we just
have to replace Fay.
Taxi?
Uh, taxi anyone?
Yo. Cab.
Hey, buddy,
you got a buck?
Damn shuttle's
k*lling my business.
What does it have
that my cab doesn't?
Heat...
seat belts...
brakes...
I hear it seldom catches fire.
Sure.
Everybody wants heat,
but nobody wants fire.
Ah...
who am I kidding?
Thanks to that damn shuttle,
I'm going broke.
I need a second job.
Well, I can't promise anything,
but there might be an opening
down at the department store.
I could put in a word
with my boss, Mr. Berkeley.
Really?
You think you could swing it?
I mean, that would be so great.
Well, now,
it's only minimum wage.
Minimum wage.
Wow.
Finally have a little mad money.
Thanks very much
for coming in, Shannon.
Let me just
ask you something.
If we were to hire you,
uh, would you be available
to start tomorrow?
Oh, yes.
Great. Okay,
we'll let you know.
Thanks.
(sighs)
Well, that's it.
It's either Shannon
or the man formerly known
as inmate number 72144.
I think it's
a no-brainer.
Absolutely.
We go with the convict.
Yeah, right.
Hey, Joey, I'm serious.
I cannot spend three days
behind the counter with Shannon.
See, I know me.
I'll never get any work done.
I'll be so distracted.
Every time she walks by, I'll be
undressing her with my hands.
Just hold up
for one minute.
You look me in
the eye and tell me
that you cannot keep your
hormones under control
for three days.
You're right-- we go
with the convict.
Who's going with a convict?
Casey?
Well, maybe she can
hang on to this one.
No, it's the guy who we're going
to hire to replace Fay
because Glandzilla
over here
thinks it would
be too distracting
to hire an attractive,
qualified woman
who applied for the job.
Wait a minute.
You mean to tell me that
you're not going to hire her
because she's attractive?
The poor woman--
she's trying to make a living
and you won't let her because
you can't see past her looks.
You know what?
That is just wrong.
Joe, I forgot to give
you my references.
Oh, you know what?
It won't be necessary.
You're hired.
Great. Thank you.
Then I'll see you tomorrow.
JOE:
Bye-bye, Shannon.
Shannon?
You didn't tell me she was a...
Shannon.
Excuse me, Brian.
Could you come and help me
with something, please?
Okay.
Do I file
the passenger manifests
by flight number or by date?
By date.
Thanks. Oh, wait,
wait, wait.
Oh, there's more.
Yeah, I'm a little confused
about your computer system.
Mm-hmm.
I type in a reservation,
hit Enter.
Yeah?
The screen goes blank.
Could you show me
what I'm doing wrong?
Yeah, it's really
quite simple.
Um... before you
hit Enter...
you have to press,
uh, Escape, F3.
Oh, F3, then Enter.
Thanks.
Sure, sure.
(clattering)
(cries out)
Here, let me get that.
Oh, God, no!
What?
I got it.
So, uh...
will there be
anything else?
No, that was
pretty much it.
Um, thanks for your help.
Uh-huh.
If you need me,
I'll be in Helen's freezer.
(knocking on door)
Joe, where would
you like me to file
these F.A.A. reports?
Right there--
top drawer on the left.
It's stuck.
No, it's not stuck.
It just needs a little
bit of, uh... muscle.
Well, it's stuck.
Here, let me try again.
(yells)
Ouch!
I'm so sorry.
It's no problem.
It's my fault.
W-W-Wait a minute.
Wait, uh...
Wait a minute, um...
I... this is crazy.
I-I'm married.
I can't do this.
Right. Right.
You want me to
finish filing?
No.
Joe! Joe!
(gasping)
What happened?
I don't know. I guess you had
one of your dreams
about falling off the bed.
Oh, Casey...
Casey, I can't
thank you enough
for getting me a job
at your store.
I'm going to be the
best stock boy that
store has ever had.
Of course, they tell me
I'll be the oldest, too,
but, uh...
Hey, I'm down with the kids.
Come on, let's get to work.
Oh, would you relax?
What's the rush?
Well, it's my first day.
Mr. Berkeley, you know,
he said specifically
that the stock boys have
to be there 9:00 a.m. sharp.
Mr. Berkeley, Mr. Berkeley.
Let me tell you
about our employee philosophy
we have down at Henley's.
Screw it!
You know,
as a matter of fact,
we don't even have
to be there until 10:00
because my friend, Peggy,
in gift wrap,
she punches us all in.
Oh, well... "screw it"
is a fine philosophy, but...
it's my first day.
I'd like to make
a good impression,
so I thought I'd, you know...
show up.
Good morning, Brian.
(grunts)
Ow. Uh...
my hair is caught on a button.
Uh-huh.
Could you help me, please?
I hate when this happens.
This is the problem
with having long hair.
You know, one time I got
it caught in a necklace.
I had to cut
a whole bunch off.
It took, like, six
months to grow back.
How's it going?
(choking):
Done.
Thank you.
Freezer.
I do not know what
is wrong with me.
I'm all thumbs lately.
There's your muffin.
Let me ask you
something.
When you were married to Stuart,
did you ever have a dream
about him and another woman?
No... but he had dreams
about me and another woman.
So why do you ask?
Sounds silly to even say this,
but last night I dreamed
that Joe was kissing
his new temp.
That convict I saw in here
the other day?
No.
No, they hired a woman.
Big deal, they hired a woman.
So you do think
I'm overreacting?
Yes. There is no woman
in the world
that could come
between you and Joe,
you know, unless, of course,
she looked like that.
Oh, yeah. Also,
call the fuel guy
and tell him he's got
to make his delivery
by 10:00 tomorrow morning.
All right, break it up!
It's over, baby!
My... ten-minute break
is over, baby.
Just thought you might like
to know that.
Helen, is everything all right?
Yes. Yes, it's fine.
Please, please, as you were.
I think I'll go pick up
those office supplies now.
Okay, okay.
Just take your time.
Fay always does.
All right.
Well, um...
guess I'll just... go back
because my break's over
and... there's no use
in hanging around here
because, well, you know,
my break is over.
Helen, wait a minute,
wait a minute.
You have been
acting really weird
the last couple of days.
Me? Weird?
(blows raspberry)
Well, you might say that,
but I've been picking up
a really weird vibe
ever since Shannon got here.
She's not making you
uncomfortable, is she?
Me? Uncomfortable?
(blows raspberry)
Besides, I'm the one
that told you to hire her
in the first place.
That's right,
that's true, but...
I just want you to know...
Joe, Joe, Joe...
(blowing raspberries)
(blows raspberry)
(knock on door)
Boy, you work hard.
Who, me?
Yeah, you fly the planes,
you take care
of the passengers,
you run the business...
I mean, that's
pretty amazing.
Oh, come on,
it's no big deal.
Yes, it is.
It's a very big deal.
Well, okay, it's a...
it's a little big deal.
Ow...
What's the matter?
It's so weird. I fell out of bed
the other night.
I must have wrenched my neck.
Maybe I can help.
It's okay.
It'll work itself out.
Oh... oh...
Oh, yeah...
oh, that's better.
Good.
Mm, mm, that's much better.
Hey...
What are you doing?
I'm sorry.
Um... I must've...
misread the signals.
Shannon, Shannon,
wait, wait.
I'm so embarrassed.
Well, look, don't be.
Let's just pretend
this never happened, okay?
You're very sweet
for saying that.
Well... you're
very sweet, too.
Y-You're very...
very sweet.
No!
Joe!
Joe!
What's wrong?
Oh... nothing.
I just had... another
falling-off-the-bed dream.
Morning, Casey.
Aren't you supposed
to be at work?
Hey, Antonio,
pull up a doughnut.
Peggy faked
a doctor's note for me.
Looks like I've got
a terrible flu.
(fake coughing)
Peggy...
I'm afraid Peggy
no longer works for the company.
Oh?
Hey, aren't you a little
overdressed for a stock boy?
Perhaps,
although I'm hardly overdressed
for assistant director
of personnel.
Management?
You're management?
How did you get
to be management?
Well, unlike you
and your slacker cohorts,
I actually, um...
I actually show up and work.
Huh.
Hey, wait a minute.
I was marked for management.
Those were Mr. Berkeley's
exact words.
Well, Don and I
had a little chat.
Don? You're
on a first-name basis?
Everybody's
on a first-name basis
in the company steam room.
You were in the steam room
with Mr. Berkeley
discussing my future?
You rotten ingrate!
I got you that job!
Dah-ah-dah-ah-ah...
Attitude, missy, attitude.
Now, if I were you,
uh... I'd get over
that little flu...
(fake coughing)
...in a big hurry.
Uh, say, by, um...
...9:00 a.m. sharp.
You stinking, miserable...
What was that?
Nothing.
Sir.
Here are the F.A.A. reports
for your signature.
(muffled):
Mm-hmm.
I double-checked them.
Everything's in order.
You just have to
sign right here.
You know, I still
can't get over
that's your signature.
(mumbles gibberish)
Hi, Shannon.
Hi, Joe.
So...
Shannon's last day.
Huh?
Oh, yeah, right.
Last day.
She's a good worker.
She's a great worker.
She's no Fay.
Ohhh... you got that right.
Maybe it's a good thing
it's Shannon's last day.
I mean, even I found her
kind of attractive...
I mean, I mean distractive.
Oh, no, no, no.
What-What-What did you say?
Nothing,
nothing.
Well, it's just that
I had sort of a...
a little dream
about her last ni...
Yeah, I wouldn't even
call it a dream.
It was more like a...
a little story
that happened while
I was sleeping.
Really?
Uh, what kind of story?
Ah, well, it was...
perfectly innocent.
We were here in the office
doing some paperwork,
and one thing led to another,
and before I knew it,
Shannon was licking the inside
of my throat with her tongue!
(yells)
You owe me an apology,
my friend.
Yeah. I begged you
not to hire her,
and you went ahead
and hired her.
And now, because of you,
I've got freezer burn.
Okay, I'm sorry,
I'm sorry.
You were right.
I made a mistake.
I never should have
hired her, okay?
But she's going now.
Thank God.
I don't think
I could have spent
five more minutes
with her.
(horn honking "Funeral March")
BOTH:
Fay's back!
BOTH:
Oh, you're back!
Oh...!
Give me some space!
I just spent three days
trapped in a bus with 52 people
and a chemical toilet.
Back off!
That was the worst excuse
for a vacation I ever had.
The corpse and her husband,
the bus driver,
had a big fight
and stormed off the bus
leaving the rest of us stranded
at the side of the road.
I don't even want to tell you
what happened
when we ran out of food.
We might as well have been
a soccer team in the Andes.
Well, we're really
glad you're back.
We're really, really glad.
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
well, if you're so glad,
next year give me a raise
so that I can go to Branson
like a person!
Hey, Joe.
Can I talk to
you a minute?
Sure, Helen.
What is it?
Well...
you know how we said
that we wouldn't keep
secrets from each other?
There's something
I need to tell you.
A couple of nights ago...
I had a dream that you were
having an affair with Shannon.
What? What? Me? With Shannon?
Where would you get
something like that?
I don't know. You know, she's
just so pretty and everything...
She's very nice, but, uh...
she's nothing to get
all worked up over.
I just wanted to tell you
because I was jealous
and I don't want to be
that kind of person, so...
the whole thing was stupid,
and I want you to forgive me.
Are you kidding me?
Come here.
Excuse me, Joe.
I got to run.
I'm on the Aeromass 6:00
to Boston,
but I just wanted
to say good-bye
and thank you
for everything.
Why are you on Aeromass?
'Cause we cancelled
our 6:00.
There's no one on.
Well, now there is.
Joe, you take her.
I don't think that's
a good idea, Helen.
Really. Take her.
I don't want to.
Joe, I'm okay
with this.
It's fine.
JOE:
Okay, fine.
Uh... come on...
(gulps):
Shannon.
Let's go.
You know, Joe,
I still don't understand
why I have to sit
all the way back here.
It's for your own safety.
And mine.
It's a weight
distribution thing.
F.A.A. regulations.
Well, I won't tell anyone
if you don't.
You know, I've really
enjoyed working with you
these past few days.
Kind of hate
to see it end.
Yeah, well,
that's life.
Things begin,
things end.
You live, you die.
Bummer, but that's
the way it is.
Well, I guess
you just have to...
try to have fun
while you're here.
What does that mean?
Shannon... please...
I'm a happily married man.
I'm a married man.
My wife doesn't
understand me.
What the hell
is going on here?!
Joe...
you ought to be
ashamed of yourself.
And, Shannon...
you should be doing this.
Hey, Brian...
Brian...
Yes?
Brian.
What?
Can I have a word
with you in the back?
All right.
Hold my place.
So, what's up?
Not you.
Oh, boy.
(fading):
Shannon...!
Okay, Shannon, where were we?
Shannon?
Shannon?
Shannon, wake up.
We're here.
Shannon, Shannon,
wake up.
Huh?
We're here.
What?
We've landed in Boston.
Oh.
Okay, um...
Thanks for the ride,
and, um...
really nice
working with you.
Is-Is everything okay?
Oh. Sure.
Of course.
Everything's just...
(blows raspberry)
Casey...
Did you hear
what happened?
They found some stolen
merchandise in my locker.
I got fired.
Yeah?
Consider yourself lucky.
What does that mean?
My backup plan involved
an "accident" in Kitchenware.
08x19 - Dreamgirl
Watch/Buy Amazon
Two brothers, Joe and Brian Hackett, run a one-plane commuter service from a small Nantucket airport.
Two brothers, Joe and Brian Hackett, run a one-plane commuter service from a small Nantucket airport.