02x04 - Duet

[bunniefuu]

Alright, I'm about ready to call this one.

Doesn't look like there are any survivors.

The cullings are getting more and more intense.

Well, you said it yourself:

too many Wraith woke up at the same time.

Too many mouths to feed or...

hands to feed.

Well, we're headin' back
to the Gate, meet you there?

Sounds like a plan.
McKay, Beckett you havin' any luck?

Negative, Colonel, we haven't found anyone.

Make your way back to the Gate.

Will do. Beckett out.

So...

maybe you should pick some wildflowers from
around here I think she'd get a kick out of that.

What are you talking about?

You've got a date tomorrow tonight
with Katie Brown, right?

She's a botanist,
she never gets to go offworld, so...

- What's this now?!
- It's nothing, nothing.

You have a date, Rodney?

With a woman?

It is simply two adults sharing some friendly...

Yes, with a woman!

Well, she's excited about it.

- Not sure why, though.

- How would you know?

Girls' poker night.

I know a lot of things, McKay.

I'm sure it's none of your business.
This is an inappropriate field conversation.

What? I was just suggesting
you might wanna pick some flowers...

Yes, and maybe you should just do
your job, which is to protect us.

Shut up.

Shut up? Let me tell you something...
Stop speaking!

Dart.

We have a Dart incoming.

Move it!

Seeing us will blow Atlantis' cover.

Anyone get
a clear sh*t, you take it, understand?

Scatter!

It is heading towards the Gate.
We damaged it but it is still on its way.

Wait! McKay and Cadman
have been beamed aboard that Dart!

We can't risk the Dart
making it back to the hive ship.

Oh, crap!

Season 2 - Episode 4
Duet

I'm a doctor.
I can help.

What the hell d'you think you're doing?

It was reaching for the self-destruct.

He's the only one that can get Cadman and McKay out!

I seriously doubt he'd oblige.

Well, we'll never know now, will we?

Is everyone alright?

We're fine. Hanson, radio Atlantis.

We want Zelenka here asap. We've got a problem.

Colonel!

First time offworld?

Yes!

Well, if there were any more Wraith,
they would have att*cked us by now.

Really?

If it makes you feel better.
Did you find what we want?

Well, yes, but it's very complex.

This interface controls the machine

that dematerialises people,

stores their information and then
rematerialises them again when commanded to.

Great.

Command it to!

I can't.

From what we can tell,
the materialiser is storing two lifesigns.

- Yes.
- Which is good!

Yes, but there is only enough power in the Dart's
energy cell to successfully rematerialise one of them.

Power to the rematerialiser has been
completely severed

and emergency back-up
power has been completely run down.

OK.

You have to decide which one we're going to beam out.

It's a terrible choice to have to make.

It's easy. Beam out McKay he'll figure
it out how to get Cadman free.

No, no, no, sorry I was unclear.

There's no way of telling which is which.

Yes. They just read as lifesigns.

Perfect.

Alright... that one.

Go. Stand aside.

Rodney, you OK?

His pulse is stable but
I need to get him back to Atlantis.

Teyla, Lorne, help the Doc
head back to the city with McKay.

We're gonna stay here with Zelenka
try to bring as much of the Dart back as possible.

All of his vitals are stable.

His body's reacting like it's been
struck by a Wraith stunner.

So you think once the initial shock is over,
we'll have the old McKay back?

I'm afraid so!

Have they had any luck with the wreckage?

No.

Lieutenant Cadman is still in there somewhere.

- Did you know her well?

- No, not really.

She was with the new batch
that came aboard the Daedalus.

She seemed quite lovely, though.

She saved my life.

Well, you'll be the first person
I call when we find her.

Thank you.

"That reminds me of my nephew's birth!"

How's it coming?

Well, the good news is we were able
to stabilise the lifesigns signature.

Now it's just a question of getting
the machine online again.

Great. How do we power it up?

Well, that's the bad news.

The machine uses a very specialised

transformer to convert raw power

into highly stable, very specific stream of power.

Now the transformer's crucial in operating the machine safely
and...... it's been damaged.

Don't suppose there are any spares in the trunk?

We're working on reverse engineering one.

Good.

Let me know the second you have something.

"Well, OK then,

come on kids, go go go.
"We have to finish this one!
Let's get going! Hurry!"

Not bad, uh?

It's fine.

So what do you think of Atlantis?

It's fine.

Have you thought about what
you wanna do after you're done here?

Do you want me to leave?

No! No! Stay as long as you like.

I'm just saying,

you know your way around,

you can take care of yourself in a fight...

Yeah!

You hate the Wraith as much as we do...

OK, maybe more than we do.

But the point is...

we could use a guy like you around here

and you look like you could use a place to stay.

I'm not sure I'd fit in here.

There's only one way to find out.

Do I have to decide now, or can I finish eating?

Take your time.

And...

try these...

they work great!

Hello. How're you feeling, Rodney?

Um, terrible.

What happened?

You were scooped up by a Dart.

Oh, great!

How'd I get out?

It's a long story,
but I'm glad to see you're doing well.

Hello...

Dr. Beckett..

Is that Cadman?

Dr. Mckay!

Where is she?

I'm right here.

Lieutenant Cadman is still trapped inside the Dart.

What?!

Who said that?

I did.

You said "What?!"?

I said Lieutenant Cadman
is still trapped inside the Dart.

No, no, no, did you just say the word, "What?"?

No, I didn't.

Mckay..!

Yes, where are you?

I'm right here.

No, no, I'm talking to Cadman, shut up for a second.

She's not here, Rodney.

Yes I am!

You didn't just hear that,
you didn't just hear Lieutenant Cadman.

No, I didn't.

Headset.

I'm not wearing a headset!

McKay, where are you?

I'm right in front of Carson.

Oh no.

Put your hands over your eyes.

Why?

Just do it!

Lieutenant Cadman is still trapped inside the Dart.

I think maybe you're experiencing some sort of ...
Rodney, what are you doing?

Oh, this is terrible.

- What's terrible?

I can see that! I can see your hands over
your eyes as if they were my eyes.

Carson!

Hi!

Hello!

Who got us out of the Dart?

Zelenka,

but he only got you out.
Lieutenant Cadman is still trapped inside the Dart.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

This cannot... be happening.

Cadman's not trapped in the Dart.

Excuse me?

She's in here.

Oh, nice work!

We were running out of power.
I knew hardly anything about the machine.

Who would have thought this
could be one of the side effects?

So instead of waiting to understand what it was
you were doing, you just sort of mashed

on the keyboard hoping something would happen!

Well, you're alive, aren't you?

Ask him if he knows how to fix it.

He doesn't know how to fix it!

What?

I'm talking to her!

You can hear her thoughts?

No, not her thoughts, thank God. I can hear when
she's speaking... when she's trying to speak.

Are you sure he should have been
discharged from the infirmary, Carson?

According to the MRI, he's as healthy as he ever was.

It doesn't feel very healthy in here!

Well, we can't all be track stars, now, can we?

It was her again.

Maybe there's something wrong an MRI
wouldn't pick up, if you know what I mean.

I'm not crazy I just have
another consciousness in my brain.

So he just looks crazy.

I'm sure I do, but only because
Doctor Fumbles McStupid over here
was in way over his head!

Yes,... yes..

I made a mistake trying to save YOUR life.

Now, do you want to try to fix it,
or do you want to continue to berate me somewhat?

I'm perfectly capable of doing
both at the same time.

Now I assume you've tried to run
one of our own generators on it?

It's not as simple as that ...

Why not?

the trick is having it interface
with the Wraith machine in real time.

The power fluctuations are, are, are huge.

...If we overshoot just a little ...

Wait, wait, what does that mean?

... we're screwed up.

Um, I'm sure if we can maybe run an interface
programme that will take care of all the ...

Hullooo? Rodney? Will you please answer me?

Here's what I want us to try.

Rodney!

We'll take a...

Roodney..

Naquadah generator...

Rodney!

and...

Rodney!.....Rodney!

YES! WHAT?!

Stop ignoring me.

Well, stop asking stupid questions!

Rodney..

I will get you out of here, OK?

Now just be a good little girlie and keep quiet.

Don't you dare condescend me!
This is as much my problem as it is yours.

And do you have a degree in physics?

Well, what about mechanical engineering?

Rodney?

Yes!

Sorry. I'm sorry.

What, please?

Why don't we let Zelenka handle this?

- I'm fine.
- No.

You're not.

And I'd like you to talk to Doctor Heightmeyer.

- I think it'd be more useful if I was...
- Rodney.

I'm not asking you.

Fine.

Oh, stop sulking. You're acting like a two year old.

This is your fault, you know.

How'd you figure that?

All you had to do was keep your mouth
shut while I was working.

You have no idea what it's like in here, OK?

Yes, yes, I do.

I know exactly what it's like
in here because I live in here. I like it here!

Rodney?

Be cool!

Katie! Hi.

Is... everything OK?

Yes! Yes! Everything is just fine.

I was just...

Talking on the radio! Talking on the radio!

Talking on the radio.

You're well, I take it?

I... heard you ran into some trouble offworld today.

Oh, yes. Yes, yes, yes, but everything's fine now
it's all been sorted out.

Back to normal.

Good.

So we're still on for tomorrow?

Yes, yes. Yes, actually,

I'm... very much looking forward to it.

In fact, I'm sure it'll be a...

you know, a wonderful... evening, and what not.

Right!

Well, I'll see you then.

You really know nothing about women, do you?

I know plenty.

Maybe this is a good thing.

Excuse me?

I could teach you a thing or two
about the opposite sex, McKay.

Lord knows you need it!

This is hell!

This is my own personal hell!

Alright.

Let's try that again.

How about you try that again... Sir?

Maybe that's enough for today.

How do you feel you're qualified
to help us with this problem?

I'm not.

Who could be? This was not covered in medical school!

But I have spent quite
some time as a couples therapist.

We're not a couple!

In any sense of the definition not a couple.

No!

In physics, a couple is defined as a pair of forces
equal in magnitude acting in opposite directions.

So you don't feel that applies here?

Yeah, that's very clever, but

we're not equal forces.

Watch it!

And what I mean by that is she's just a voice
in my head,

I have control of the body.

I've seen your body, McKay, you can keep it.

How do you know that?

She's been able to access the part of your brain that
creates speech and controls hearing

why not movement?

Well if she could have, she would have by now.

Maybe you need to release control.

Why would I do that?

Because, like it or not, you're sharing that body.

The roles could have easily been reversed, Rodney,

you could be trapped inside her body.

And wouldn't you like a chance to say,

talk to others without having to go through her?

Yeah!

Maybe.

Maybe?

OK, yes, I would want that.

So let her.

Close your eyes,

take deep breaths and stop
trying to control everything for a second.

(Hello?)

(Hello?)

Laura?

(Oh, this is weird!)

(Hearing his voice when I speak!)

Can you move?

(I don't know.)

(Let me try.)

OK, that's enough of that.

Oh, come on!

Doctor McKay, we were just starting to make progress.

Well, progress won't be necessary
if we can get her out of here.

Now, I have calmed down, so has she.
Let me get back to work.

OK.

Really?

Oh, she... she's fine with this, by the way.

Sorta.

Sorta. So, yeah, should I...?

This is a P-90. It's a compact, lightweight,
incredibly sturdy for...

Good!

That's... good.

Alright...

This is a nine millimetre,
semi-a*t*matic...

That's good too!

I prefer this.

I can see why you would!

Alright!

Let's give this bad boy a try.

Start her up and slowly ease her into it.

No, no, no, no. It's not ready.
Some of these calculations are not right.

Maybe you just don't understand them.

What the hell happened?

We started it up.

I said slowly ease her into it!

I was at three percent.

The power requirements are delicate.
We should have run more simulations before we...

Yes, yes!

Twenty-twenty hindsight.

You shouldn't be here.

I'm sorry?

We are telling you these calculations are wrong.

Having two consciousnesses inside
of a single brain must be very taxing.

Listen...

You're making mistakes.

Now leave it to me,
before you do more harm than good.

You're up late.

I...
couldn't sleep I was, uh, trying to clear my head.

I, uh, hear the transformer test didn't go so well.

Well, you heard right.

Uh, listen.

I wanted you to know that
I gave the command to take the Dart down.

Well, much as I'd like to pretend that this is remotely
your fault,

the thought of what would've happened
if you hadn't sh*t the Dart down is...

So,

we're cool.

No, you're cool, I'm fine.

You should get some sleep.

I could actually use some rest, Rodney.

She says she's tired.

Goodnight.

(Busy?)

No, no.

Come in.

How're you feeling?

(Fine.)

Really?

(Merely because of Cadman.)

(She's calming, you know?)

(Between you and me, I am damned lucky it was her.)

Should you, uh...?

(Oh, she's asleep can't hear a thing.)

Well, yes, then, she seems like a lovely lady.

(Oh! That is so nice!)

(Oh...)

(you wanna... do me a favour?)

(You know, you wanna, uh,
ride shotgun on this date tomorrow night?)

With Doctor Brown?

Katie.

You're going through with it?

(Well, I've cancelled on her so many times.
I don't wanna mess this up.)

But what d'you want me to do?

(Listen.)

(I don't think it's any big secret
that I am terrible with women.)

(Having someone there to cut me off when I start
making a fool of myself)

(would be a great help.)

(I'd consider it a personal favour.)

OK, Rodney, fine.

(Great!)

(And, thanks!)

Where am I?

Where are my clothes?

Can't we sleep just a little longer?

It is two in the afternoon! Where the hell are we?

We're in my room. Your mattress sucks.

That is a prescription mattress I need that for
my back. Now, how the hell did we get here?

I walked here while you were sleeping.

You did what?

Yeah, well, it was a lot easier
to use your body when you were asleep.

Pants! Where are my pants?

They're over on the chair.

Seen it!

We have gotta set some boundaries!

Yeah, I'm sorry about that.
I'm kinda used to sleeping in the buff.

You have crossed a line here, Cadman.

I guarantee it was more traumatic for me.

Why are my legs burning?

Oh, I took us for a run before we went to bed.

Why in the world would you do that?

Because it helps me unwind.

OK, OK. This is very important.

Did you ingest any citrus?
I am deathly allergic to citrus.

Rodney, look I worked out, I came here
and I went to bed. Jeez, loosen up!

I would love to, but every muscle in my body
is sore from your stupid workout!

So what's on the board for today?

More of the same. Why do you have any ideas?

Yeah actually I do.

Don't look!

I thought we were supposed to be sparring today?

You were late. So Ronon and I...

What the hell do you think you're doing?

I wouldn't have hurt her.

You sure in hell looked like you were going to.

- You OK?
- I am fine.

I told him that he did not have to go easy on me.

You've gotta be careful what you say to this guy.

No, it is completely out of the question.

Why? You'd rather go it alone?

Oh yes, imagine that, I'd rather go it alone!

Well, consider the opportunity, right?
To have a woman there with you,
helping you out, feeding you lines.

I really think you could learn something.

Thank you for the offer,
Cyrano, but I think I'll pass.

I was there when you bumped into her, OK?
I felt how nervous and awkward you were.

Well I'm sure that has nothing
to do with my current situation.

C'mon, Rodney, let me do this for you!
Maybe this is why this happened.

This is why this happened?

Yeah.

Are you insane?

Considering our situation here,
I think I've been extremely reasonable.

I can make this a living hell for you, Rodney.
This is something I wanna do, and we're doing it.

I wanted to apologise.

Come in.

Do not worry, Ronon.
It was ... impressive.

Please.

How are you finding your training?

You mean my test.

Is that what you think?

Am I wrong?

Colonel Sheppard believes
you can be of great help to us.

Why did you join them?

My people are strong and proud,

but Atlantis is the best hope for us all.

I suspect you see it too,
or you would have already left.

I am so sorry. I thought
he told you that I'd be joining you for dinner.

Well, he has been under a lot of stress lately.

Yes in fact that's why I'm here.

Is he alright?

I'm late sorry. Hi.

Carson kept me company.

Sit down the first course is all set to go.

Carson?

- Rodney.
What are you doing here?

- You invited me!
- Oh, I did, did I?
- Yes?

Please, sit.

Don't start eating, you idiot! Make a toast first!

Yes, yes, yes!

A toast to you.

We've been working together for...

some time now, a short time, but...
in that time I've...

often found our interchanges very...

um ...

What I mean to say is that...
you're very funny,
and smart, and...

and uh ...

from what I can tell, you...

make a delicious salad.

So, to you.

Yes, cheers!

Very good! That wasn't so bad.

She's obviously into you, so at least
we have that working for us.

Now, I was thinking that we m...

Wait, McKay. McKay.
Stop drinking the wine. You're gonna get drunk.

Actually, wait, yes!
You need that to loosen up a bit. Finish it off!

Good boy! Yeah!

Say something, McKay!
C'mon, say something that'll start a conversation.

So... do you...

Yes?

Forgot what I was gonna say.

What was it?

(OK, this is ridiculous.)

(Katie, I really like you.)

(In fact, the past few months here
have been made more liveable
thanks to you.)

(I wanted tonight to be special,)

(but for reasons I can't go into now,)

(I gotta leave.)

I'm sorry to hear that.

(But I don't want you to be insulted)

(or to wonder whether
or not I am interested in you.)

(Because I am...)

(I am very)

(very, interested.)

(See you soon.)

Give me back my body! We have to go back.

(And do what? I bet that is the most honest
you've ever been with a girl and)

(it wasn't even you!)

Why are you doing this?

(We're just trying to do too much too fast, McKay.)

We should, we should go back.

(Nope!)

Alright rock, paper, scissors.
I'm the left hand, you're the right.

Cadman!

(Fine.)

(Yay! Paper beats rock we leave.)

No, we...

Auu!

(Get a hold of yourself, man!)

Doctor McKay, report to the hangar.
Doctor McKay, report to the hangar.

Hello! That's us!

Thank you!

We've been running simulations all day.
I think I may finally have something.

I was able to get the generator to run on a buffer
loop which

tricks the Dart into taking only
the power that it needs without overloading.

Great. Good thinking. Can we, just, see it?

Anxious?
Yes.

OK.

f*ring.

Alright.

Lifesigns holding steady.

Now, rematerialisation initiated.

Now I'm no scientist,
but those mice used to be a different colour.

This is never gonna end!

I'm gonna be stuck like this forever!

I'm not sure it's a good idea, John.

Elizabeth, you've gotta see this guy in action.

He is an incredible sh*t

none of my guys can b*at him
in a fight and he's ex-m*llitary.

Not a m*llitary on Earth.

The guy's got no place to go.

You're not just being charitable?

No, I'm not and I think he'd make
a great addition to my team.

We don't know anything about him.

Well, what's there to know?

Well, anything would be helpful.
He's not very forthcoming.

He's been on the run from the Wraith
for the past seven years.

What do you expect? Listen just talk to the guy. You owe him that at least.

OK.

I would like an apology.

Laura?

(Forget about it!)

You did take over his body without permission.

(He doesn't ask permission when he takes over.)

You... because it's my body!

(Yeah, and I'm a guest.
Try and be a little more courteous.)

You see?! You see what I have to put up with!

(Put up with?)

There's a lot of stuff that
I'm not doing right now that I would be doing!

(- I don't wanna hear about it...)

- Alright, you two. Settle down.

Thigh, strip, cut, lift, cut...

and finish.

Awesome!

Ronon.

Could I have a word?

Here.

I understand Major Sheppard extended
an invitation to you to join his team.

Yeah, he did.

Well, he was supposed to speak to me about that first.

OK.

Look, it's not that I don't trust you, or

value any contributions you may have to make,

or that you will make if you do join us
it's just it is a rather big decision.

So how do you feel?

I'm thinkin' about it.

OK, good!

Well, I'm thinkin' about it too.

So I guess we'll just keep in touch, then?

OK.

OK!

Alright

remember the leading arm.

Two knives.

Slice, cut!

You're the one who said set up rules. Well, I did.

I followed them I stuck to them.
She basically h*jacked me.

(Hey, you had a real opportunity to get inside the mind
of a woman)

(and actually expand your horizons, but no-o-o-o-o.)

Did you ever for a second consider that I might
not want to get inside a woman's...

Rodney! Rodney?

This is Heightmeyer. Get Beckett in here, stat.

What happened?

You had a seizure. Why?

From what we can tell, the constant
fighting over the dominance of your brain

is having a deleterious effect on its lower functions

heart rate, respiration, organ function...

(- That's not good.)

- Of course it's not good!

- I'm not sure how long you can go on like this.

- What do you mean?

These misfires will
only increase in frequency and severity over time.

Well, fine,
she'll stop trying to take over control of my body.

It's not as simple as that, Rodney.

One of you has to release control.
One of you has to let go completely.

Ah, well, maybe if someone say,

you hadn't told her to try and take control
in the first place, none of this would have happened.

I was just trying to help both of you.

What happens to the person the one who lets go?

Well, we're not certain, of course
we've not often run into these situations before...

(They would disappear.)

(I know they would,
cos I can already feel it happening to me.)

(It's getting harder to be in here.)

(It's taking more of an effort.)

Has it always been like that?

(Past few hours. You haven't felt it too?)

Well, of course
I have I just thought I was fighting with you.

Look where're we at?

Well, we've
successfully rematerialised a pair of mice.

They were whole and correctly reconstructed...

But?

They didn't survive.

I'm afraid if one of you doesn't let go,

both of you will die.

I'll do it.

Which one of you said that?

You don't have to do this.

Yes I do, Rodney.
It's your body

and you're not gonna do it.

Oh, what makes you so sure?

They need you here, and

as much as I hate to admit it
I'm not as important as...

Stop it!... It's not true.

(Carson!)

(I need something to write with.)

What're you doing?

I wanna write a letter to my folks.

I'd appreciate it if you'd deliver it yourself

the next time you gate back to Earth,

Rodney explain what happened.

Well, I'm not sure when I'll...

The Gate!

We can use the Gate!

What're you talkin' about?

Well, the Gate dematerialises you as you
step into it,

sending your information to the next
Gate so it can be rematerialised on the other side.

Well, we know that.

So if we can take one of the crystal control
modules from the Gate and interface it with the
Dart,

we should be able to build a safer system.

Rodney, wait. I don't
think you're in any condition to do this, Rodney.

I don't have time to talk
I need to get this done before the next seizure.

Alright, let's do this.

Just because it works in simulation doesn't mean ...

I would prefer
not to suffer a fatal seizure

while we wait for you
to round up more mice protesting.

So, shall we?

Rodney.

Don't try to talk me out of this
I may very well listen.

I was just gonna say thanks.

Well, you're welcome. I can honestly say
that the entire experience has been very ...

Ah, about time.

Hold on, Rodney I thought all the mice d*ed?

Well, what are we mice or men?

Are you sure about this?

Absolutely, yes.

- OK.
- Just ... give me a second.

Well, Laura, it's been,...
unique.

To say the least!

Good luck to us both, right?

Alright.

It's ready.
I suggest you take a step back.

Alright.

Wait!

(Just in case this doesn't work.)

Oh!

Just, just hit it.

OK it's reading as two lifesigns.

Power levels are steady...
Get them out of there!

Let's get them to the infirmary.

Did you get the chance to talk to Ronon?

Yes, I did. Chatty fellow, isn't he?!

And?

- He would be your responsibility.
- I knew you'd say yes!

- I haven't said yes.
- Well, you were about to.

- Yes.
- There y'go!

Feelin' better?

Oh no!

Over here!

a little less crowded. You?

Same. It's nice to have my own body back.

You are doing supremely well.

Ah, good to hear.

Nice work.

- Well, it was your idea.

- Well, of course it was, but you...

you were... there.

Lieutenant, way to survive
what I think may be my worst nightmare.

Thank you, Sir!

Yes, thank you!

I imagine you two might want a moment.

Actually, ma'am, I think I'd like some time alone.

Same here. It's... been a while.

Alright. Release them as soon as you can.

Aye.