02x08 - Conversion

[bunniefuu]

NARRATOR.
Previously, on Stargate Atlantis.

This is Weir. What's the nature
of Major Sheppard's injury?

Some sort of funky alien bug
attached itself to his neck.

Part of Ellia is human,

and part of her comes
from a creature we call the iratus bug.

Now it's possible,
by means of this retrovirus,

that we can strip away those parts
and leave only the human parts behind.

Good Lord. She took the retrovirus.

- You said it wasn't ready.
- It's not. Not by a long sh*t.

(SCREAMING)

- You okay?
- Yeah.

- This really isn't necessary, Doc.
- Yes, it is.

You've got a serious laceration
on your arm

and you've lost a good deal of blood.

McKAY: Yeah, enjoy the ride, Colonel.
They're making me walk.

- You have a splinter, Rodney.
- Yes, a very nasty, painful splinter.

BECKETT: All right, let's have a look at this.

All right.

Thank you. This might hurt a wee bit.

(GROANING)

I'm sure it will.

- BECKETT: This doesn't sting?
- No.

I know you have a high threshold
for pain, but this...

This is what?

- Gone
- What?

The feeding mark. It's completely healed.

- Maybe the wound wasn't that bad.
- Then where'd all the blood come from?

I don't know, maybe it just
looked a lot worse than it was.

But I don't see evidence of any cut at all.

- That's weird, because it hurt like hell.
- You're sure the skin was broken?

Yeah, I'm pretty sure.
There was a lot of blood.

- Maybe it was hers.
- It was definitely human.

I don't know. Maybe it was a nosebleed.

- Is that supposed to be a joke, Colonel?
- Believe me, this isn't funny.

Give me half a day to run your blood work

and analyze it with the data
we already have.

- We'll figure it out.
- And until then?

- You're welcome to look over my shoulder.
- Yeah, that's tempting, but...

Just go about your day.

- I thought you said you were a runner.
- That's funny.

I can usually barely keep up.
What's with you?

- (PANTING) What's with you?
- Water?

Hey, sore loser.
I don't act like a jerk when you b*at me.

Yes, you do.

Okay, then we'll go around again.

Go ahead.

Okay, grumpy. I will.

Dr. Beckett?

I thought you'd want to see this.

Is this from
Colonel Sheppard's blood sample?

That's right.

- And you've run it twice?
- Of course.

Okay, let's run it one more time.
I wanna be certain before I tell him.

All right.

- Not bad, huh?
- Yes, yes.

You're doing very well.

- You have been practicing.
- Not really.

- You have been practicing.
- Not really.

(GASPING)

You are showing a considerable
leap in ability, Colonel Sheppard.

You can call me John
when we're off the clock.

- Very well, John.
- There you go.

Should we continue, or do you...

I'm not really sure just what happened.

Colonel...

That was interesting.

BECKETTON PA. Colonel Sheppard,
please report to the infirmary.

Are you okay?

Dr. Beckett will be expecting you.

Yeah.

BECKETT: The good news is we can
now say with some certainty

that Ellia didn't drain away
any of your life.

- We already knew that.
- I suppose.

That's the best good news
you could come up with?

It looks like you've been infected
with the iratus bug retrovirus.

The one we were working on
to turn Ellia into a human.

You mean the one
that didn't turn her into a human.

Ellia administered the treatment
prematurely.

It wasn't ready.
It wasn't even supposed to be...

- I'm not blaming you, Doc.
- But you're right.

Her transformation was into a creature
closer to the iratus bug than to a human,

and I know how much you...

- Hate those bugs?
- Yes.

But for one, Ellia was a Wraith

and she took a massive dose
of the retrovirus.

Do we know how the Colonel's system
might respond to the drug?

I have no idea.

It was never engineered
to be given to a human.

It was never intended
to be given to anyone.

Doc, let it go.

But the problem is, I have no idea
how your body will react.

I can't even begin to guess.

Well, if how I feel is any indication,
I'm fine.

It's certainly possible that it's already
breaking down in your system.

Ellia's transformation
was extreme and immediate.

- See?
- But the wound in your arm

healed unnaturally fast.

- Lf there was a wound.
- Well, there had to be.

Otherwise, I don't see
how you got infected in the first place.

Well, she was spitting an awful lot.

- So, what, we just monitor it for now?
- Aye.

- You'll need to check in every six hours.
- I can do that.

And you should probably...

Suspend my offworld activities
until we know more.

Thank you.

See you in six hours.

(BEEPING)

You're working late.

- No, not really.
- Yeah.

We keep trying to remove it
from the terminals on the Daedalus.

Somehow the crew keeps
finding a way of putting it back.

Never get between a genius
and a computer game.

Aren't you scheduled to fly out?

I was supposed to, yes,
until I heard about Sheppard.

He's under Beckett's supervision.

If the Lieutenant Colonel finds himself
unable to perform his duties, that's...

You have a ship to command, Colonel.
I wouldn't wanna spread you too thin.

Novak and Hermiod are running
a full diagnostic on our FTL drive.

They're worried about the constant
use jumping between galaxies.

Which is to say, if I need to,
I have some time.

Okay. Let me think about it.

Thank you.

- You got chess on there?
- As a matter of fact, I do.

Well, I have to warn you
that I am a career m*llitary strategist.

Well, I'll have to take my chances.

Hey, Doc, this is Sheppard.

BECKETT. Yes, Colonel?

We may have to bump up
our first check-in.

(BEEPING)

The retrovirus isn't breaking down
in his system like we hoped it would.

- You're positive?
- Yes. In fact,

it's beginning to alter his DNA.
If it's allowed to continue

he'll devolve into a creature
similar to what Ellia became.

- How long do we have?
- I'm not sure exactly.

- Ballpark. Months? Weeks?
- Days. We have days.

- Okay, what's the plan?
- I've injected him with a viral inhibitor.

It should slow down the retrovirus as far
as his cognitive abilities are concerned.

But I'm afraid that's it so far.

We're exploring various treatments
that may or not be effective, so...

No, Carson,
we don't have any time to explore.

Come on, there's gotta be
something in the Ancient database

that can help you find a treatment.

I know that, Elizabeth.
We're doing our best.

I'm sorry. I know. Of course you are.

You should talk to him.

He's hiding it very well,
but if I was him I'd be scared to death.

How am I doing?

Anything that has you speechless
has me concerned.

- You're gonna be fine.
- Wow. That's dead man talk.

- No, it isn't.
- Have you seen this?

- Beckett is gonna figure this one out.
- I think I already have.

You know who
I'm starting to feel like? Ford.

Now, what happened to you
is completely different.

I know, I know. Still, I can feel it.

I mean, I can feel it
changing me inside, like he did.

I don't think that's even possible.
Look, you're very worried...

No, no. No, it's...

One of the best weeks of my life
was when I got my wisdom teeth out.

I was on codeine for a full seven days.
This is kind of the same.

I know I should be in pain,

or at the very least freaked out by this.
And I'm not.

And that freaks me out
more than anything.

- We're gonna b*at this.
- "We're gonna b*at this?

"Beckett will figure this out.
You're gonna be fine?"

You really suck at the whole
bedside manner thing.

I know. I'm sorry.

But I appreciate the effort.

No. No. No, that would only work
if the retrovirus is doing

- what we had originally intended it to do.
- I disagree.

You are not taking into account
what's happening to his somatic cells.

The only thing I have to take
into account is how off you are,

and I don't think I'm not the only one
who sees that. So, let's move on.

Wait, wait, wait. Oh, God.
We're looking at this all wrong.

The best idea we've had so far, is to try
to repair his system on the genetic level

by administering a massive cloned
embryonic stem cell treatment.

I still think it's our best bet.

Introducing more human
genetic material into his body

is only gonna give
the retrovirus more fuel.

I don't know how much simpler
I can say that.

Yes, yes, I agree.

That's why we have to use
the iratus bug stem cells.

- I'm sorry?
- The iratus bug stem cell

programmed with human RNA
wouldn't get rejected by his system,

and would be practically ignored
by the current strain of retrovirus.

And would be practically ignored
by the current strain of retrovirus.

- We att*ck it from the inside.
- Exactly.

It would be like our own magic b*llet
that can navigate the retrovirus

and start to repair his mutated cells.

The only bug pieces we have
are from a sample that d*ed a year ago.

I have no doubt we could program
the cells if we had them.

But we do not have the time
to artificially produce

a gene therapy of that kind of volume.

Which means, ladies and gentlemen,

we need to go on an egg hunt.

(DOOR OPENING)

It's okay. Sit. Please.

- How's the Colonel?
- Not very well.

- I'm sorry to hear that.
- Yeah, so am I.

I think it would be best if you do
assume Colonel Sheppard's duties until...

Consider it done.

Just until he's back on his feet.

You two are pretty close, aren't you?

Well, we've been through
a lot together, yes.

You've got the best team in two galaxies

working on a way
to get him back to normal.

My money's on success.
And if you need someone to talk to...

If you could assume those duties
effective immediately.

- I can do that.
- Thank you.

The Ancient database has quite a lot
of information about the iratus bug.

We know what planet it's on,

we know that it likes cool,
damp, dark places to lay its eggs.

- It shouldn't be that hard to locate.
- Wait a minute.

The last time we ran into
one of these things,

we almost lost Sheppard.

How do you expect to just walk
right into one of their nests?

I don't see that we have any other choice.

We need the iratus stem cells.
The best stem cells come from embryos.

With them, we actually
have a chance of saving Colonel Sheppard.

Without them, he'll die.

- And this is the only option we have?
- And time's an issue as well.

You have no idea what will happen.

There's only one certainty,
what will happen if we do nothing.

LORNE: We all understand
the risks, Dr. Weir.

And I believe that Colonel Sheppard
would do the same for any one of us.

Permission granted.

I need an hour to get my things together.

Okay, gear up. One hour.

Look, I made a new friend.

- It's only protocol.
- That's your answer for everything.

You look well.

Should you be out of bed?

I was going a little crazy down there,

so they said I could walk around for a bit.

- That's good.
- Yeah.

Look, I'm trying to say
I wanna go on this mission.

Hey, you said yourself.
You are not fit for any offworld activity.

The inhibitor that Beckett's got me on,
the one that's keeping me lucid,

they keep having to up the dose.

- I know. They told me.
- I don't know how much more time I have,

but the last thing I wanna do
is sit on my

mutating hands

while my team puts their lives on the line
trying to find me a cure.

- I should be with them.
- No. I'm sorry.

What's the worst that can happen? I die?

You could compromise the mission.
They have enough things to worry about

- up there without...
- So what, suddenly I'm a liability?

- Your condition can change rapidly.
- I know. And I know I can do this.

I'm glad you feel that way.
But it would be irresponsible...

- This is my life we're talking about.
- I know that.

- I'm going on that mission.
- No, John, you're not.

Damn it!

It's okay! Put it down!

I'm betting that didn't sell you.

No. No, not really.

- I should go back to the infirmary.
- Yes.

So, what are we looking for?

According to the Ancient database,
probably a cave.

"Cool, damp and dark."
Which I translate "scary, awful, bad."

They wouldn't want their nests
out in the open.

A cave keeps eggs away
from the predators.

I always figured they were the predator.

I guarantee there's something
out here worse.

- Really?
- They gotta feed on something.

- Thank you. Thank you for that.
- You're welcome.

The foot of that mountain range
starts about a mile up this way.

- It's probably our best bet for caves.
- BECKETT: Agreed.

LORNE: Okay, let's pick up the pace.

What do you think you're doing?

Sergeant, you wanna give us
a minute, please?

- What's the problem?
- This. This is the problem.

"Memo to all Atlantis personnel
regarding new security protocols"?

Is there a part there that you
disagree with in particular?

You are just keeping
Sheppard's chair warm, Colonel.

- Don't lose sight of that.
- Look, he's done a good job here.

There's just some rookie mistakes
that I thought needed fixing.

So you went ahead and changed them
without talking to me.

I don't need to check
with you about how I run

the m*llitary operations
on this base, ma'am.

They tell me you're also thinking
of rearranging the offworld teams.

Again, Sheppard had things
a little backwards.

- I figure, while I'm here...
- Well, you figured wrong.

There's no telling when
Sheppard's going to be better.

None of the estimates
that I've heard are soon.

On the contrary,
I think I may be doing a little more

than keeping the Colonel's
chair warm, ma'am.

I mean, just look at his scheduling,
labor distribution.

- I don't need to.
- Well, somebody needed to.

Do you think I don't know
what you're doing?

- I'm trying to improve things.
- Look, I'm not saying that you're wrong,

or even that I object
to all of these changes.

Excuse me?
Because I thought that's exactly...

You could have waited a week.
Or even a day.

You making sweeping changes
to the way John Sheppard runs things

just hours after being assigned
to this position sends only one message,

that he's not coming back.

LORNE: You think this is it?

BECKETT: It certainly smells like
there's something living in there.

Yeah, or dying.

I cannot see that far into the cave.

Oh, well, that is disgusting.

They're in there.

And you had to pick it up
and smell it to figure that out.

- To know it's recent.
- Well, how recent?

- So, what's the plan?
- Well, we go in there,

- we get some eggs and then we come out.
- Okay.

Ronon, Teyla, you're on point with me.
Walker, Stevens, you take our six.

Docs, just stay in the middle
and try not to get bit, okay?

Well, maybe someone
should stay out here.

So that you're all alone when a dozen
of them come stampeding out here?

I'm in the middle.

Let's do it.

(BUZZING)

RONON: Hear that?
TEYLA: Yes.

Looks like we got the right address.

You don't seriously think
that's gonna help, do you?

Yeah, when they see your neck
before mine, you won't think it's stupid.

Where are these eggs supposed to be?

The database says
they have a central nest.

I'm hoping we'll know it when we see it.

John?

- SHEPPARD: Leave them off.
- What?

The lights. Leave the lights off.

Okay.

I thought I should come by
and practice my bedside manner.

How are you?

My body's mutating into a bug.
How are you?

Would you like an update
on your team's progress?

They've found an iratus cave
and they've headed in.

Good.

They should locate some eggs
and be back here in no time.

- No time?
- Yes.

Then what?

Honestly, I don't know.

Hey, are you all right?

- Would you like me to call someone?
- Who would you call?

- Lf you need to see a doctor...
- I need a bigger security detail.

- Excuse me?
- At least two men stationed at my door.

Sooner rather than later.

Now what are you talking about?

Just trust me, Elizabeth.
You're gonna need it.

Listen, John...

Oh, my God.

They need to hurry.

- You should be in the infirmary.
- The infirmary isn't secure.

The inhibitor is only keeping me lucid.
It's not slowing the retrovirus.

- Still...
- Don't argue with me!

I'm not safe to be around anymore.

Get some more men at my door
and get the hell out of here.

Okay. Okay.

(SIGHING)

- Double the detail.
- Code 1-6.

(BEEPING)

(BUZZING)

Doc.

Good God.

I think this is it.

So how do we wanna play this?

- They'll defend their young.
- Maybe we should make a diversion.

- Are you volunteering?
- I'll shut up.

I do not believe we can get
close enough to retrieve the eggs

without these creatures attacking.

I have this. But I need to get under that.

Hand me that water canister.

If there's one thing we know
about these little buggers,

it's that they hate salt water.

How's that gonna help us?

Just watch.

(SQUEAKING)

- See? Not so stupid.
- Oh, shut it.

(SQUEAKING CONTINUES)

Doc.

We've come this far.

Heads up!

BECKETT: Holy crap.

Carson, run!

(g*ns f*ring)

LORNE: Let's go! Come on!
Get out of here! Don't look back!

Don't look back! Come on!

Walker, Stevens, get the hell out of there!

(MAN SCREAMING)

Walker, Stevens, do you copy?

Fire in the hole! Let's go!

(expl*si*n)

(expl*si*n)

- I think that stopped them.
- We're not sticking around to find out.

I'm pulling the plug on this mission.
Let's get back to the gate.

- We can't give up.
- But we just lost two men in there, Doc.

So unless you can find another way
to get those eggs out of there, we're done.

Understand? Let's go.

The nest is incredibly well protected.

There are hundreds,
maybe even thousands of them.

- I just don't think it's possible.
- So where does that leave us?

Without the stem cells
our plan is not promising.

Okay.

I'll tell him.

- How is he?
- I wouldn't go in there, ma'am.

I'll be fine.

John?

So this is when I usually
ask you a stupid question,

like, "How are you feeling?"

John?

John?

Our team got back from the mission.

The nest was too well protected.

We were unable to retrieve the eggs.

- They tried their best.
- Best?

- The bugs att*cked...
- Try again.

- I can't do that.
- Why?

- John...
- No.

- I understand...
- lf you won't, then k*ll me now.

- John.
- It's better for the both of us.

I can't do that.

Then try again.

(GASPING)

We lost Walker and Stevens.

I won't send another team.

I won't risk more lives!

(MAN GROANING)

(COUGHING)

This is Weir! We have a security breach!
Colonel Sheppard's quarters!

McKAY: Okay, we've got a lock on him.

(BEEPING)

- That can't be him. It's moving too fast.
- It's him.

CALDWELL: All right. Four teams.

Surround him and close in.
I want him stopped.

And, gentlemen, use
whatever level force you deem necessary.

Move out.

You will only use such force
as a last resort.

That's not Sheppard anymore, ma'am.

You heard me.

You coming?

Yes.

- Lock down the stargate.
- Right.

I thought you said that
he couldn't use the transports.

I said I doubted he was lucid enough.

Well, shut them down.
He's not gonna do it again.

Thus stranding your search teams.

CALDWELL. Bravo Team, you're on deck.
Tango is on the floor right below you.

You heard the man. Down the stairs.

- Ronon, where're you going?
- Let him go.

Bravo Team and Sheppard
are in the same room.

Stay sharp.
He should be right in there with you.

Anyone have a visual?

Above us!

Colonel!

Please. Do not make me do this.

(g*n FIRES)

(g*n f*ring)

Get the doctor down here. I have him.

(BEEPING)

BECKETT: I put him in a medically
induced coma for now.

I was afraid he might
break through the restraints.

- That's a good call, Doctor.
- So, what now?

The retrovirus has wreaked havoc
on his system,

- and it's taking over.
- What does that mean?

It means if we don't find a way
to stop the retrovirus in the next 24 hours,

what is left of the John Sheppard
we know will be gone.

- You guys are up late.
- Can't sleep either?

- Any progress?
- No. He's still in a coma.

At least he isn't in any pain.

- Maybe if I went alone, maybe...
- It's not open for discussion.

- I'm not good at sitting still.
- I understand.

Believe me, I appreciate how you feel.

Look, we have closed down
that section of the infirmary,

but if you feel the need to...

What I mean to say is, if you would like
to have a private goodbye

you should probably do it soon.

Are we really there?

I think we might be.

BECKETT. Dr. Weir, I need to speak
to you immediately.

WEIR: What is it?

Meet me in your office.
I think I have an idea.

I'm sorry. It just came to me.

The fact that his mutation has progressed
as far as it has may be his salvation.

- Explain that.
- His sweat glands are actually producing

trace amounts
of their signature pheromone.

- And?
- When we were in the cave,

those bugs knew we didn't belong there.

So they didn't really fancy us
getting close to their nest.

So they didn't really fancy us
getting close to their nest.

Whoa, whoa.
I see where you're going with this.

If we can artificially create the pheromone,

we might be able confuse them enough
to leave us alone.

- Aye, that would work.
- Well, that's an excellent plan, Carson.

- Aye, I wish it was.
- You can't do that in time?

No. It'd take days.

WEIR: You said
Sheppard only had 24 hours

before the damage the retrovirus
was causing him would be irreparable.

- Exactly.
- Well, then it's a terrible plan, Carson.

There's only one person
on this base that wouldn't need

the artificial pheromone.

- Sheppard?
- He could walk right in that cave

and those bugs
wouldn't pay him any mind.

I'm not sure if you've noticed or not,

but Colonel Sheppard's
not feeling very well.

He stopped taking the inhibitor
we were administering.

It was able to keep him lucid.

- I thought its effectiveness had worn off.
- True.

But I believe
if we give him a massive dose,

he may be clear-headed enough
to complete the mission

before we lose him completely.

Yeah, but won't giving him
that much inhibitor, like...

BECKETT: k*ll him?

Yes, it's a definite possibility.
Even if I knew it was for certain,

I'd be tempted to offer him
one last hour of lucidity.

Do it. Gear up. Take him as far as the cave.

John?

John.

Hey. You're in the infirmary.

Sorry about the headache.
It's a side effect of the inhibitor.

Did I hurt anyone?

No, not seriously.

- Did Ronon sh**t me?
- You had it coming.

Look, we don't have a lot of time.

This dose of the inhibitor drug
will only last about an hour.

How would you like to go on a mission?

- Now you realize that you may have to...
- It's already set to stun.

He's ready.

(McKAY EX CLAIMING)

Good to see you up and

about.

All right, come on.
We don't have a lot of time.

Good luck.

Use this and collect as many as you can.

Oh, God. At least a container full,
do you understand?

Colonel Sheppard, you know
that we cannot go in there with you,

but you need to hurry.

It took us a little longer
to get here than we would have liked.

(BUZZING)

(BEEPING)

What is that?

That's how long I estimated
the inhibitor would work.

- So that means he's...
- There's no way to know for certain.

- We should go in.
- And do what?

- Lf the inhibitor has worn off...
- Then he's beyond our help.

I hear something.

Colonel?

(YELLING)

(GRUNTING)

- Do you have enough?
- Aye, I think so.

It's not gonna happen overnight,
you can bet on that.

But the transformation
has begun to reverse itself.

- So eventually he'll be back in uniform?
- Eventually.

Well done, Carson, for once again
elevating medicine to actual science.

- Well, thank you, Rodney.
- You'll finally be able to get some sleep.

- Keep me posted.
- All right.

- We might...
- Stay a while.

- Well, if that's all right?
- Of course.

If and when Colonel Sheppard
resumes his duties,

I hope he'll consider
some of the changes that I've made.

- When he does, that'll be up to him.
- Of course.

Daedalus will head back to Earth
in less than a week.

I'll be out of your hair in no time.

We'll try to manage without you
until you get back.

Despite what you may think
of my intentions, Dr. Weir,

I'm not your enemy.

Believe me, Colonel, you don't wanna be.

Good. Now, lift, block, serpentine,

lock and hold. Understood?

Colonel.

Should you be up and about?

I have been cooped up in that damn
infirmary for a couple of weeks.

Give me a break.

You are looking well.
Are you feeling more like yourself?

Well, according to my DNA,
I'm 100% John Sheppard again.

Although, I gotta say,

I'm looking forward
to getting rid of this thing one day.

Doc says it'll clear up eventually.

So listen. While I've been
laying there the past few weeks,

I've been remembering things.

Some things I might have done
that you could call out of character.

You mean when
you att*cked the security detail?

- Yeah, that was one of them.
- Yes.

There is another thing
I should probably apologize for.

Give it no further thought.

Good. I won't.

Nice to have you back,

John.

(SIGHING)