01x09 - Return of the King

[bunniefuu]

♪ I am the visual The inspiration ♪

♪ That made lady Sing the blues ♪

♪ I'm the spark That makes your idea bright ♪

♪ The same spark That lights the dark ♪

♪ So that you can know Your left from your right ♪

♪ I am the ballot in your box The b*llet in the g*n ♪

♪ The inner glow That lets you know ♪

♪ To call your brother sun The story that just begun ♪

♪ The promise Of what's to come ♪

♪ And I'm-a remain a soldier ♪

♪ Till the w*r is won ♪

♪ Chop, chop, chop Judo flip ♪

♪ Chop, chop, chop Judo flip ♪

♪ Chop, chop, chop Judo flip ♪

♪ Chop, chop, chop ♪

[♪♪♪♪♪]

HUEY: Martin Luther King Jr.

was sh*t in Memphis, Tennessee, on April , .

[g*nsh*t]

He was critically injured.

Dr. King fell into a coma.

The world waited for news of his fate.

There were no riots.

Time passed.

King faded into memory.

There was no national holiday.

Then on October , ,

years after he was sh*t,

Martin Luther King Jr. came back.

King amazed the world when, on November ,

seven days after awaking from a -year coma,

he showed up to vote in the presidential election.

He was turned away due to voting irregularities.

People took to the streets to celebrate

the return of their king.

Oh, sh*t!
My n*gga MLK! Ha-ha!

Hey, what's up, folks?

Hey, that "got a dream" sh*t
was off the chain, n*gga.

Okay...
Thank you very much.

[g*nshots]

HUEY: He learned that streets

named after him

weren't the very safest.

King inked a seven-figure deal to write his autobiography

called Dream Deferred.

Columbia Pictures green-lit a $ million biopic

of Dr. King, starring Cuba Gooding Jr.

Oliver Stone was attached to direct.

Spike Lee was pissed.

King mania was at a fever pitch when on August , ,

Martin Luther King presented Video of the Year

with Puffy at the MTV Video Music Awards.

MAN:
I love you, MLK!

Well, you know, Puffy,
like you, I can't stop.

I won't stop.

I don't eeeeven know
how to stop.

[ALL CHEERING]

MAN :
My n*gga.

That's right.
Take that, take that.

MAN:
Whoo!

[CHEERING STOPS]

[MAN COUGHS]

And now the nominees
for Video of the Year.

HUEY:
King was released

the week of September , .

One week after /.

[CRICKET CHIRPING]

Then on October ,

during an appearance on Politically Incorrect,

King shocked the country.

Dr. King, okay...

You're an advocate
of nonviolence, but guess what,

how do you think
the United States should respond

to the terror att*cks of /?

Well, as a Christian,

we are taught
that you should love thy enemy,

and if att*cked,
you should turn the other cheek.

Wh-what?

HUEY: America was outraged.

The president was very concerned
by some comments made

by some
"ex-civil rights leaders,"

and those people in question
should, uh...

watch their g*dd*mn,
f*ckin' mouths.

Of course, an al Qaeda lover like Martin Luther King

wants us to just roll over and let the t*rrorists win

because he hates America.

My suggestion:

heh, go take another -year nap, Commie bastard.

HUEY: In December ,
MAN: Jack-off.

CNN named Martin Luther King

one of the ten most unpatriotic Americans.

WOMAN:
Pansy f*gg*t.

His book was canned. ■
assh*le.

His house was vandalized.

King renamed his book
Dream Deterred,

and it was finally released by a small publisher.

It was called "unimpressive" ■
[SNORING]

by the Woodcrest Post Gazette.

[COUGHING]

[CLEARS THROAT]

Okay...now.

And who am I making this out
to?

Huey Freeman.

GRANDDAD:
Son of a bitch tried to take

my parking spot.

I should have whupped his ass!

Robert Freeman?

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

I never thought
I'd see you again.

How you been?

Well, I was sh*t

and had a bit of a coma
for a few decades.

Yeah, I heard.

I sent you a card.
Did you get it?

Well...uh--
I-I don't remember.

Oh, you remember
this one.

It was a get-well card

especially for people
who got sh*t,

and I thought this would be
perfect for Martin Luther King,

but they didn't
sell 'em separately.

I had to buy
the whole pack.

You know, I've been
thinking about starting

my own greeting card line.

Hey.

You should come over for dinner.

I live right down the road.

Well, I believe I'm supposed
to be signing books

for a couple of more hours.

[CRICKET CHIRPING]

Dude,
just go.

GRANDDAD:
Where they got you stayin'?

KING:
I'm staying

at a Holiday Inn Express.

I feel smarter already.

Oh, that's nonsense--

RUCKUS:
You boycottin' baboon!

[GRUNTS]

Dance there,
you g*dd*mn chunky cheat monkey!

Ruckus, what the hell
is wrong with you?

Don't interfere,
Robert.

This here's between me and
Martin Luther so-called King.

Only king I know
is Elvis Presley,

God rest his soul.

Oh, oh,
you don't remember me.

Well, I've been throwin' bricks
at your marchin' ass since .

And so,
brothers and sisters,

you know why--

RUCKUS:
Hey, shut the hell up,

you black son of a bitch!

What's wrong with y'all?

Thank God for the white man's
infinite mercy,

Martin Luther King.

'Cause if it was up to me,

I'd unleash the hound and turn
y'all n*gg*r*s into puppy chow!

I was happy
at the back of the bus.

[GRUNTS]

MAN:
Ow! My eyeball!

[CROWD CLAMORING]

Just wait till I get me
another brick

or maybe a large rock

or, you know, one of them teeny,
tiny, little cement blocks.

Why'd you have to go mess with
the natural order of things?

I'd have sh*t you myself,

but I realized the white man
got better aim.

GRANDDAD:
Stop acting crazy.

We're going back
to my house for dinner.

[♪♪♪♪♪]

Turn the other cheek
and take me with you.

I'm hungry.

You know, Robert,

I spoke to sister Rosa
before she passed.

She said you were
prank-calling her again.

She was lying.

She had the caller ID,
Robert.

You prank-called
Rosa Parks?

She stole my thunder.

Robert,
you got to let it go.

What did Rosa Parks
do to you?

KING:
Robert was a member

of the Montgomery Bus Boycott

Strategic Planning Committee
in .

He was on that bus with
Sister Rosa that fateful day.

[GASPS]
No.

Okay, this is it, brother.

Remember,
no matter what they do,

nobody gives up
their seat.

Ya dig?

We shall not be moved.

Mm-hm.

Y'all can go ahead
on to the back.

[♪♪♪♪♪]

We's movin',
Mr. Bossman.

We's movin'.

Lord, sure do wish

these here feets could move
faster for you, Mr. Bossman...

Move, boy.

MAN:
Had some roller skates on,

I could get back there
real quick.

This here far enough
for you...

No.
Mr. Bossman?

I can press myself up against
the cold glass window.

MAN: This good?
You.

Go ahead to the back.

No.

I am not going to move.

[ALL GASP]

Uh-- Uh-- Uh--
M-Mr. Bus Driver, sir?

She-- She--
She ain't move.

How dare you refuse
to give up your seat, woman!

What are you, some kind
of history-making crusader

for justice?
Yes, we are!

You think you're gonna change
history on your own?

Is that it, woman?
All by yourself?

That lady sure has courage.

Hey! What--?
What about me?

I got courage.

MAN:
You wants me

to fetch the police

for you, Mr. Bus Driver, sir?
Get me the sheriff.

I got a colored woman who
don't wanna give up her seat.

MAN:
Stay strong, Sister Rosa!

MAN :
She's so brave!

WOMAN:
We'll love you forever!

That's right.
Take us to jail.

We're not afraid.

Stay out of trouble,
n*gg*r.

Robert, you didn't.

They laid her in state.

They ain't gonna lay
my black ass in state.

They gonna lay me
at the Johnson f*ckin' Mortuary

down the damn street.

Mm-mm.
Yeah.

Hm!

[GIGGLING]
Well, anyway, Dr. King,

I just wanted to say
that even though

you've been catching
a lot of flak recently,

we're very honored
to meet you, really.

Get off his d*ck.

[THUD]
Ow!

Man, I'm just sayin',

Mr. DuBois riding Dr. King
like a rodeo show.

[THUD]
Ow!

Stop it!

You don't look famous.

What are you, an actor?

Is you Morgan Freeman?

Ow!
Boy, stop acting crazy.

You know that's
Martin Luther King.

Now, go clear
the dishes.

Why can't this
Morgan Freeman King dude

clear the dishes?

sh**t, the n*gg*r just had
a free meal.

Riley, come here.

Get over here.
No.

How can you
embarrass me

in front of Martin Luther King?
Stop, Granddad!

What is wrong with you?
Ow!

I hate
Morgan Freeman King!

I wish
he never came here!

[FUNKY RAP MUSIC
PLAYING OVER TV]

[SCREAMS]

♪ Move them butt cheeks ♪

♪ Move them butt Move them butt ♪

♪ Move them butt cheeks ♪
Oh, Lord.

[LAUGHTER]

Hm.

♪ I got that thugin' luv ♪
Hm.

What happened, Huey?

What happened
to our people?

I think...
everyone was waiting

for Martin Luther King
to come back.

The Martin Luther King
they're waiting for, Huey,

is gone forever.

HUEY:
Dr. King?

[KNOCKING AT DOOR]
Dr. King?

It's time to get up.

You got an interview today.

KING:
I'm not going.

I quit.

Dr. King!

KING:
I don't wanna. Mm-mm.

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.,

you get out of that room
and continue to fight

for freedom and justice
this instant!

Come on.

Think about it,
Dr. King,

you missed out on four decades
of media evolution.

[MAN ROARS]

Oh, God!

Sorry, Mr. White Man, sir--

[SCREAMS]

What the people need
is the truth.

And not the pretty truth.

The horrible, awful,
terrible truth

that hurts
people's feelings.

The truth that makes
people get angry

and get up
and do somethin'.

Huey, I just don't think
I belong in this new world.

I don't know if I need

the -gig iPod
or the -gig.

I tried to download
some Mahalia Jackson,

but I lost
my iTunes password.

I really should have approvals
over this kind of thing.

A political party?

Not just
any political party,

a black revolutionary
political party.

But why me?

You should ask Oprah to do it.

She's more popular,
and if you ask me,

a darn pretty lady.

Oh, snap.
No, they didn't.

A boneless rib sandwich.

What will they think of next?

I know I shouldn't eat these,

but they're for
a limited time only.

Oh...

I really should have approvals
over this kind of thing.

And so the philosophy
of this new political party

might be considered
extremely leftist by some--

Do you love America?

I'm sorry?

You sure as hell are, buddy.

Why can't liberals ever answer
that question

with a simple yes, huh?

If you ask me if I love
America, I say yes!

Why can't you say yes?
Say you love America right now.

Say it.

The party's basic philosophy
is--

Say it!

Sir, I will not be--

Say it or shut up!

We'll be back with more fair
and balanced coverage after--

Oh!
MAN: He just hit him! He--

[BEEPING]

HUEY:
I thought that went well.

You know, Huey,
those of us who do adhere

to the philosophy
of nonviolence,

frown upon the throwing
of furniture

to resolve
our political differences.

Where did people go for
information before cable news?

We can do it like we did
back in the day.

We'll go into the streets
and tell the people.

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ I wish the president Would stop lyin' ♪

♪ Black babies'd stop cryin' ♪

♪ And young brothers'd Stop dyin' ♪

♪ I wish the police'd Stop killin' ♪

♪ Politicians stop stealin' ♪

♪ And actin' like They not dealin' ♪

♪ When they know they got Bricks in the street ♪

[HORNS HONKING] ♪ At the country club ♪

♪ Fixin' to eat ♪ ■
[RUCKUS ROARS]

[HORNS HONKING]

DJ: What up, y'all?

You got it locked on WFRK, The Freak.

That was my main man Gangstalicious

with "Thugin' Luv."

We goin' to the phones.

WFRK?

WOMAN: Hello? Am I caller ?

DJ: You sure are.

And you know what that means?

WOMAN: What?
DJ: It means you're going

to the Martin Luther King emergency action partay!

[WOMAN SCREAMS]

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God! I can't believe it!

I can't believe it!

DJ: It's gonna be

all the way live,

and, baby girl, you're gonna be in the building.

Tell me the station that's helping you

shake your stankin' ass with Martin Luther King.

WOMAN: WFRK, The Freak!

Dr. King, why are they
giving away tickets

to our emergency action
planning meeting

on ., WFRK, The Freak?

Well, Huey, I thought
about what you said

about not having enough
experience with modern media,

so I hired an urban promotions
firm to help get the word out.

Uh-oh. Was that bad?

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

Huey, are you sure
we're in the right place?

MAN:
I'm on Ray-Ray's list.

Check the list for Ray-Ray.

Excuse me, bro.

MAN:
Awww!

What's up?

My name is Huey--

I'll tell you right now,

y'all ain't gettin' in
without no female.

What? Sir, we need
to get in 'cause I--

I'll tell you right now,

you ain't gettin' in
with them shoes.

What's wrong with my shoes?

Excuse me, sir.

I'm Martin Luther King.

And I'm Malcolm X, n*gg*r.

You still ain't gettin'
in here with them shoes.

Sir, please?
Young man, I...

Mm... bucks.

What?

Fifty bucks each.

You want to get in or not?

[MURMURING]

[WILD HIP-HOP MUSIC
PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]

MAN:
Aw, yeah. Come on.

Yeah, uh-huh.

Oh, hell nah!

Come on.

[MAN CLEARS THROAT]

Yo, we gotta
get back there.

I tell you right now,

You ain't gettin' back here
without a wristband.

A what?
A wristband.

Hey.

This is
Martin Luther King.

I'm surprised they let you
in here with those shoes.

MAN:
I'm just sayin',

I'm just sayin' it's only right
if you recognize all the kings.

The Kings of Comedy,
the king of rap,

Rodney King, the king of beer,
King Kong, Don King.

MAN: All right!
[CROWD CHEERING]

Whoo!
That n*gga was deep.

Okay, we all got to stop and
give thanks to my n*gga God.

[THROATS CLEARING]

[ORGAN PLAYING SOLEMN MELODY]

Thank you, white Jesus,

for making all this positive
black sh*t possible. Amen.

Okay. Let's keep
this m*therf*cker movin'!

Ha-ho!

HUEY: While we waited,

the first black political party

was everything you expected it would be.

There were the hustler preachers.

And that's why you have
to go buy my new book,

so God can help you lose weight

and get a husband
with the benefits.

HUEY: The rapper truce.

[BOTH SMOOCH]

HUEY: Oh, yeah, and there was also

the inevitable fight.

Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Hey, security!

Come get
these ghetto-ass n*gg*s!

n*gg*s always gotta mess
some sh*t up! Damn!

BOUNCER:
Out of the club!

[FUNKY HIP-HOP MUSIC
PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]

Excuse me.

Brothers and sisters, please.

If someone could
just turn off--

HUEY: King looked out on his people

and saw they were in great need.

So he did what all great leaders do.

He told them the truth.

Will you ignorant n*gg*r*s
please shut the hell up?!

[ALL GASP]

He just said
what I think he said?

Is this it?

This is what I got all
those ass-whuppings for?

I had a dream once.

It was a dream
that little black boys

and little black girls

would drink
from the river of prosperity,

freed from the thirst
of oppression.

But lo and behold,
some four decades later,

what have I found
but a bunch of trifling,

shiftless,
good-for-nothing n*gg*r*s?

And I know some of you don't
want to hear me say that word.

It's the ugliest word
in the English language,

but that's what I see now:
n*gg*r*s.

And you don't want
to be a n*gg*r

'cause n*gg*r*s are
living contradictions.

n*gg*r*s are full
of unfulfilled ambitions.

n*gg*r*s wax and wane.

n*gg*r*s love to complain.

n*gg*r*s love to hear themselves
talk, but hate to explain.

n*gg*r*s love being
another man's judge and jury.

n*gg*r*s procrastinate
until it's time to worry.

n*gg*r*s love to be late.

n*gg*r*s hate to hurry!

Black Entertainment Television

is the worst thing
I've ever seen in my life.

Usher, Michael Jackson
is not a genre of music!

And now I'd like
to talk about Soul Plane.

I've seen what's
around the corner.

I've seen what's
over the horizon,

and I promise you, you n*gg*r*s
have nothing to celebrate.

I know
I won't get there with you.

I'm going to Canada.

Thank you, Huey.

Thank you, Dr. King.

Do what you can.

HUEY: That was the last time

I saw Dr. King,

but the story doesn't end there.

King's speech was replayed the entire next day

on the cable news channels.

Then something unexpected happened.

People got angry.

Nobody knows exactly what to attribute

to the sharp decline in African American dropout rates.

ANNOUNCER: --that is every

African American player

in the NBA refusing to play

until there is a full troop withdrawal--

--billionaire Bob Johnson apologizing to black America

for the network he founded--

--the White House and Congress

are receiving an unprecedented amount of calls

from irate African Americans.

HUEY: And the revolution

finally came.

REPORTER: The mob is refusing

to disperse.

The president is urging everyone

to stay calm and obey the curfew.

[ALL CLAMORING]
You're horrible!

You liar!

MAN: m*rder*r!
SOLDIER: Fire!

MAN :
Come on! Go, go, go, go, go!

[CROWD SCREAMING]

HUEY: It's fun to dream.

[♪♪♪♪♪]