02x03 - The Sunken Tomb

Episode transcripts for the TV show "The Legend of Vox Machina". Aired: January 25, 2022 –; present.*
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A band of eight unlikely heroes, find themselves on a quest to save the realm of Exandria from dark magical forces.
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02x03 - The Sunken Tomb

Post by bunniefuu »



[thunder crashing]

[thunder rumbling]

[people coughing]

[man speaks indistinctly]

[Thordak huffs, growls]

Your offerings grow
ever smaller.

[wings whoosh]

[Thordak screeches]
[people gasp]

I trust the remaining treasure
has been wrung from Emon?

As you commanded, Thordak.

Every last ounce delivered
to your feet.

And Westruun is on the brink
of ruin, my king.

More are soon to follow.

And once all is in order,

the entire realm shall quake
in our shadow.

[thunder crashes]

As for your kind,

it seems your useless baubles
are no longer needed.

- [people gasping]
- Run! Run!

[inhales deeply]

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

[gasping breaths]

Whoa, whoa.

Are you okay?

No. The dragons, they're moving.

Expanding across Tal'Dorei.

Uh, you saw 'em in your head?

A vision granted
by the Everlight.

The red one.

The others called him Thordak.

He just...

wiped them out.

I...

I couldn't save them.

[cawing in distance]
[Pike sobs quietly]

I know we come from all over,

but Emon was the first place
that accepted us.

It kind of felt like our home.

They even gave us a title.

And we'll live up to it,

when we find the tomb
and find that f*cking vestige.

[pants] Well, I've got good news
and bad news on that front.

'Kay. Good stuff first.

I found the lake Osysa told us
about over the next ravine.

Fantastic. Let's go.

Wait. The bad news?

[wind whistling softly]

[Keyleth] No tomb.

No temple, no ruins, no nothing.

It's not an illusion, either.

Did the Sphinx lie to us?

It must be across the lake.

[thump]

Where do you think you're going?

We can still make it
by nightfall.

This is a Vestige of Divergence
we're talking about.

I doubt it'll be waiting for us
wrapped in gift paper.

We have to be careful
around here.

All of us.

[Scanlan] Not to worry. Here.

I'll slide over
and check it out.

Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

Yeah-heh-heh!

Whoo!

I love having a foot fetish
with... Whoa!

[laughs] Guys, this is the best!

[gasps, yells]

[grunting]

[ice squeaks]

[derisive laughter]

Uh, something just moved
under the ice.

[gasps]

Weird.

[Keyleth] Scanlan?
What's going on out there?

Uh, I, uh, it's fine.

I'm sure this ice is...
super thick.

I'll just recharge
the old Scan-juice.

- Whoa!
- Hold on, Scanlan!

[grunting]

sh*t.
Keyleth, can you, I don't know,

- be a bird or something?
- A bird? How does that help?

Anyone?!
[whimpers]

Whoa!

[grunts]

Close f*cking call.

Oh, which one of you guys
saved me?

[Zahra] That would be us.

Hello.

[Keyleth] Kash? Zahra?
What are you...

Osysa thought
you might need our help.

Obviously, she was right.

How generous.

Oh, so generous.

Well, at least Antlers here
is happy to see me, right?

[laughs] Well, yeah. I mean...

What the sh*t just grabbed me?

Adaro. Fish people.

They hunt at dusk.

Better wait till morning
to find the tomb.

You know about the tomb?

Oh, we're full of secrets.

Which we'd be happy to share...

as soon as you make us
a campfire.

The tomb was built
for the Matron of Ravens,

the Goddess of Death.

It enshrines the body
of her ancient champion.

The highest of her order,

striking fear into the hearts
of her enemies.

His name was Purvan.

[spits, laughs]

- Perv on?
- Last name Pedobear, maybe?

[laughter]

I mean, you've got to get
your perv on.

Wow. You guys suck.

Laugh, but Purvan Suul gave up
everything for his god.

She won't let her treasures go
so easily.

[chuckles]

Speaking of treasures,

where'd you pick up that beauty?

Oh, this old thing?

Well, I had to k*ll
a demon for it.

Don't be jealous.

Not at all.
In fact, we just picked up

quite a haul of magical items.

Didn't we, Scanlan?

Huh? You mean that sh*t
we took from Gilmore's?

Yes, obviously,
the sh*t we took from Gilmore's.

Ooh, a broom.

Marvelous.

Oh, you have such a keen eye
for value.

[hissing exhale]

[quietly] Shut it, Zahra.

Well, that's an interesting
and yet chunky belt.

What's it do?

Uh... hmm.

[grunting]

[low, metallic ring]

[whirr, thump]

[gasps, cackles]

I got a beard!

[chuckles] That's all?

I... got... a...

- beard!
- Okay. That... It's awesome.

- [low growl]
- Heh.

Anyway,
the Slayer's Take assumed

the tomb was destroyed
centuries ago.

Turns out it's still there.

You must be fairly annoyed

that Osysa told us about it
before you.

Hadn't crossed my mind.

[bird warbles in distance]
[soft snoring]

They followed us.

We obviously can't trust them.

Zahra and Kash? No.

And we can't take
any more chances tomorrow.

Sister...

do not go far from me.

You've been saying that
our whole life.

I'll be fine.

Get some sleep.

[sighs] This is a bad idea.

Just hurry.
Father could be back any moment.

[lock clacks]

[gasps softly]

It's beautiful.

- What are you doing?!
- [gasps]

[Vex] It-it was an accident.

- I only wanted...
- That heirloom has been passed down

through generations
of Elven nobility.

- Sorry, Father. I-I just...
- Of course

you and your diluted brother
don't understand Elven culture.

You weren't born into it.

You are nothing but a mistake.

[Vax] That's enough!

Don't you dare talk to her
like that!

Vex, get your things.

No. No, we don't need to...

Yes, we do.

Goodbye, Father.

Don't bother having us followed.

[Grog and Scanlan chuckling]

- [Grog] Hello, smiley face.
- [Scanlan] That's stupid.

[Kashaw] We pulled this
from the Slayer's Take archives.

Now, see if you can follow me.

Lake.

Tomb.

Then your map's wrong.

Look, the tomb here
is upside down.

Osysa is older than time.

She doesn't make mistakes.

Perhaps the tomb...

isn't upside down.

[whooshing, grunting]

[Zahra] Voilà!

It's underwater. Right.

So I suppose everyone
grab a bucket

and we'll have this emptied
by springtime.

Actually, we were thinking

Earth, Wind and Fire here
could assist.

[chuckling nervously] Oh, me?
Oh... Um...

So, I-I'm not great
with water yet.

[Zahra] Don't worry.
Just use wind.

I'll hold it back.

- Ready?
- Mm.

[whoosh]

[grunts]

[low grunting]

[grunts]

This is... very cool.

Everyone down. Now!

[straining]

Uh, beardie?

This one's a pull.

Oh. After you.

[Keyleth] Ugh.
Smells like fish

and death.

Purvan.

Charming.

Why would Osysa tell them
about the tomb

when we're the ones doing
her work?

Those vestiges belong
with the Take,

not some tourists.

Shouldn't be too hard
to swipe it out from under them.

- But we're letting them get ahead.
- Are we?

Or are we letting them bear
the brunt of what's to come?

[liquid dripping, echoing]

Keep your eyes sharp.
There will be traps,

and they will be deadly.

The deadlier the traps,
the richer the reward.

[Vax] Just keep close.

Hmm.

Oh. Don't wanna trip on this.

[grunts]
[clack]

[gasps]

[Grog] Found a trap.

- [exhales]
- Hmm.

[groans]

[grunting]

Hi. Lucky I was here.

[chuckles nervously]
I-I am.

Was lucky, I mean.

I...

Um... Yep.

[Zahra grunts]

- Idiot.
- Whoa-oh...

- [grunts] Oh!
- [clicking]

- That might've been my fault.
- [scraping]

[Vex] No, no, no!

Vex! Vex! Can you hear me?

Oh, save your voice.
We'll find another way around.

Come on.

Vex, stay where you are!

[muffled] I'm coming!

Well, no use waiting
around here.

[groans]
Guess we're stuck with her.

[Grog grunts]

[Vex] Maybe we
should just go back.

I'd sooner starve
in these woods.

If you gave Father a chance,

- you'd see...
- I'd see what I've seen a thousand times before.

'Cause nothing we'll do
will ever be good enough for him

because of what we are.

You could at least try.

Look at us. We have nothing.

You have me.

- Remember?
- You never let me forget.

I can stand on my own.

I'm not helpless, you know.

Ah, Vex'ahlia,
of course you're not.

- It's just, you don't need...
- Stop telling me what I need!

I don't need rescuing.

And I don't need you.

♪ ♪

[Pike] Hold up.

[Pike] Water's...

[grunts] ...a little high.

- Get up there, Pike.
- Yeah.

[low, chiming whir]

Damn, I make this look good!

- [grunting] Oh, yeah.
- [Pike] Whoo! Yeah, big boy.

- [Pike] Yeah! Get that pec bounce.
- [Grog] Look out.

Whoa-ho, yeah.

Well, that's not ancient.

It seems something moved
into this tomb after it sank.

[burbling]

[sniffing]

Ugh, Grog, did you just fart?

Like, how recently?

[deep growling]

[Pike yells]

Pike? [grunts]

More Adaro!

[screeches]

[grunting]

Yah!

[gasping]

- [growling]
- Aah!

[hisses]

- [Trinket growling]
- Good bear.

[roars]

Aw, shitdicks,
they're everywhere!

Oh, good f*ckin' bear!

[gasps]

Not the beard.

[roars]

[fierce yelling]

[huffing breaths]

[Craven Edge] Yes.

More blood.

[grunting]

That was a close one, darling.

[gasping]

[panting]

[coughing]

Wasn't that close.

[grunting]

[Grog roars, laughs]

[roars]

[grunting, laughing]

[yells]

[Craven Edge] Yes.

- Grog? Wha...?
- [rumbling]

[grunting]

Trinket!

[low growl]

[Zahra] And they've got a mage.

Last one's always the toughest.

But don't worry, I'll save you.

Bullshit! I'll save you.

[Vex] Damn.

[both scream]

[muffled screams]

[laughs]

[mage growls]

Vex'ahlia!

[Vax] sh*t!

- Jump on!
- ♪ ♪

[gasps, yells]

Oop. Yeah, he fell off.

[fierce yell]

Come on! Stupid... water!

[muffled screaming]

[chuckles evilly]

[coughing]

[growling weakly]

[body thuds]

All yours, Trinket.

[sniffs, growls]

You're right, there's
nothing worse than bad fish.

Vex! Are you hurt?

Stop worrying about me.

I'm fine.

Grog! You okay, buddy?

Oh, I think I just had a roof
fall on me.

Yeah, but...

[straining]

No. I mean...

when you were fighting
those things...

- you seemed...
- Yeah! Ha-ha!

[Percy] Pike,
we need to press on.

There could be more of them.

Wait. Where are Kash and Zahra?

We can't leave without them.

No f*cking way.

[Vax] They ditched us.

[Kashaw] We didn't have
to do that.

[Zahra] I beg to differ.

The vestige is supposedly
in Purvan's sarcophagus.

And, of course, there's...
[groans] ...six of them.

Which one is his?

[low whooshing]

[Kashaw] See? You're not
the only one who can find sh*t.

[clack]

[mechanical sliding]

You impressed?

[chuckles]
'Cause you f*ckin' should be.

[Zahra chuckles]

Yes, yes, you're very clever.

[echoing thump]

[Grog] Whoa.

Looks like some kinda fish orgy.

- Mm, I've tried that. It's pretty good.
- [laughs]

Ignore them.
Let's find the vestige.

Wait. Let me give it
a look first.

Mm...

- [gasps]
- Grog!

- For f*ck's sake!
- Huh?

[Keyleth] What's that?

[Vax] No.

[sighs] Everyone just stay put.

Don't step on anything.
Don't pull anything.

Don't... do anything.

Pickle, I'll need your light.

Something's down there.

[Vex] Hey.

Don't keep all the loot
for yourself.

[chuckles] No promises.

This place
has been picked clean.

The second Sphinx.

[sniffing]

[Percy] Did you find
something, Trinket?

What have we here?

[rumbling]

[deep scraping]

[loud clack]
[rumbling stops]

Percy!

- You found it!
- [Percy] Well...

shall we take a look?

Maybe we shouldn't.

Hmm, your brother
certainly wouldn't approve.

Then perhaps just a peek.

Looks clean.

[Percy straining]

[thud]

[sighs]

[Percy] The Deathwalker's Ward.

Brilliant.

[releases string]

[arrow strikes]
[stag grunts]

[rustling nearby]

[groaning nearby]

[sobbing]

[continues sobbing]

Vax?

Vax...

Stop.

We need to wait for my brother.

[grunts]

[faint gasp]

[roars]

No... No!

Vax! Get your ass up here!

I was gone for seconds.

What the hell happened?

[Pike gasps, cries]

Vex!

[Vax sobbing]

What's wrong? What happened?

[Vax] You left me.

[dialogue inaudible]

- I was lost.
- Brother, I'm sorry,

- I didn't think...
- No, you don't understand.

You don't need me. I...

...need...

Do not go far from me.

I won't.

I swear it.

[sobbing]

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Chirp.
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