5x01 - Frankie
Posted: 01/30/11 14:52
Franky's bedroom.
FRANKY: Hey, what are you looking at? Come here.
FRANKY'S DAD 1: All set, tiger? That's the last of the boxes.
FRANKY'S DAD 2: Serrano and Reblochon sandwich, just in case the cafeteria isn't... Now, where's that smile?
FRANKY'S DAD 1: You off, Franky? Franky?
FRANKY'S DAD 2: New start, remember? Just try to blend in.
FRANKY'S DAD 1: And don't take any crap this time.
FRANKY: Bye, Dads.
In the street.
BOY 1: What the f*ck is that? Is that a batty or a lezzer?
BOY 2: Let's check it out!
BOY 1: We're BS5, get me?
FRANKY: So?
BOY 1: Yo. You deaf? Yeah, get it, bitch. Oh, my days!
BOY 2: You got dropped by a batty lezzer!
BOY 1: Shut the f*ck up! Come on, boys. Let's get 'er.
BOY 2: Get him!
BOY 1: She went up here. There. Stop her.
FRANKY: sh*t, sh*t, sh*t.
BOY 1: You're so iced.
FRANKY: Screw you!
BOY 1: Get her! Oi!
BOY 2: Ouch. Ouch.
BOY 1: Batty's getting away.
Front of the school.
FRANKY: Out of my way! f*ck, f*ck, f*ck. Get out of my way! Move! Move, move!
NICK: You OK, babe?
TEENAGER 1: What the f*ck happened to my bike?
TEENAGER 2: m*nled to sh*t, mate.
FRANKY: Sorry. I'm really, really sorry. The, er... The brakes were f*cked.
GRACE: Wow.
MINI: Has the circus come to town or what?
At school.
DOUG: Uh, uh. In you go.
FRANKY: I'm, uh, I'm Franky. Er, Fitzgerald? It's my first day.
DOUG: F... F...Fitz. Oh! The last-minute transfer. Francesca? Your first period is Sports Foundation, so...
FRANKY: What? But, I haven't got kit...
DOUG: Franky, my dear, I don't give a damn! And I've got just the thing, my own contribution...
In the cloakroom.
MINI: Er, excuse me. I was just wondering, are you, like, in fancy dress, or is that look an actual, like, choice?
FRANKY: What?
MINI: Oh, my God, what the hell are those? Problem? Earth to Oddness, what are you staring at?
FRANKY: f*cking hell.
MINI: See you on the field, stud. Try not to run me over next time. See ya.
GRACE: Bye.
On the sports ground.
GIRL 1: Move! You muppet.
MINI: p*ssy. Coming through, bitch!
MINI: Ahh! Take that! Nobody does that to me, OK?!
SPORT TEACHER: Oi, oi, oi! Hey! Shake hands and heal, ladies. Come on, shake. Nothing to see, girls. Play on.
MINI: Better watch your f*cking back, or you're dead meat... bruv.
In the canteen.
RICH: Scooter Girl! Now we're even Steven.
ALO: Hey, short stuff, what's up?
FRANKY: Nothing, just some nightmare girl.
RICH: So who is this chick that brings on the sweats?
FRANKY: Think her name's Mini.
BOYS: She's f*cked.
FRANKY: Why?
ALO: Meet Anita. Mini's last slay. She wore the same outfit on first day of college. Not pretty.
RICH: If Roundview was a medieval village, I'd strap that witch to a ducking stool.
ALO: Save us your Middle Ages wet dream, Rich!
RICH: She's probably got gills under her armpits.
MINI: Ahem!
ALO: Ladies! How's it hanging?
MINI: Cowshit and Bullshit. f*ck off, now. Those dicks are death. Avoid. Haven't seen you around Bristol. How come you started so late?
FRANKY: I 've like... moved here.
LIV: From where?
FRANKY: Oxford.
MINI: Understandable, but why?
FRANKY: If you're gonna start sh*t, can you just get it over with now, because I had enough grief before...
MINI: Start sh*t?
LIV: What grief?
GRACE: Before, like, Oxford, or past-life before? I had a dream two Sundays ago that I was a sl*ve, on a plantation in Jamaica...
GIRLS: Shut up, Grace.
MINI: No hard feelings. Again. I'm Mini.
LIV: Liv.
GRACE: Grace. Hello!
FRANKY: Franky.
MINI: You know, you are pretty f*cking...
GRACE: Badass.
MINI: Yes, you are. So, Franky Badass... fancy hanging out later?
FRANKY: No. Er, I mean, no thanks.
MINI: Are you say not cheap thing ?
FRANKY: No, I'm sure it smells lovely.
MINI: Not alternative enough for you?
FRANKY: I... I just... I got to, um... I've got go home after college.
GRACE: See you later!
MINI: Don't be gay, Gracey.
LIV: What was that about?
FRANKY: New start, yeah? New start.
LITERATURE TEACHER: Ah, newbie. School's out.
FRANKY: I, uh, had a stomach ache.
LITERATURE TEACHER: Oh, you got proof? Stool photos, sh*t like that?
FRANKY: Er, no.
LITERATURE TEACHER: Copy what's on the board. Present tomorrow. You're first.
In the street.
FRANKY: All right?
GRACE: Oh, great!
LIV: It's not brutal, Mini. It'd be rude not to. Franky ?
FRANKY: Nice one.
MINI: Welcome to our world!
GRACE: Come on, Franky.
GRACE: Peek-a-boo, Mini-moo!
LIV: Franky's seriously got the funk.
MINI: So, Franky, I'm having a party tomorrow night and er, was wondering...like to come?
FRANKY: That'd be... yeah, that'd be cool!
MINI: Excellent. Oh, but what are you going to wear? Cos we need, well, the situation sorted out first. No offence!
In a make-up shop.
MINI: Oh, my gosh. You've never worn make-up before, have you?
FRANKY: No.
LIV: What about with your girls in Oxford?
FRANKY: I didn't have none.
MINI: No friends?
FRANKY: No, I had a mate, a best mate, Dean, but he went young offenders.
GRACE: That is so f*cking cool!
MINI: I won't bite.
LIV: Look it's just to try. OK? Some eyeshadow won't hurt.
MINI: Ah, beautiful.
LIV: You've totally got, like, "f*ck me" eyes, girl. Totally "f*ck me sideways" eyes.
MINI: When you've finished licking her out... We've got outfits to sort!
MINI: This will be perfect for you, Franks!
FRANKY: I look like a f*cking twat.
MINI: What, like me, you mean?
FRANKY: No, no, it's just...
LIV: You look...
GRACE: Like a punky butterfly!
MINI: So, it's a sort of that.
FRANKY: What is?
MINI: What you're wearing to my party, butterfly. Minus the wife-beater and, um, shorts, naturally.
FRANKY: f*cking hell.
MINI: Hurry up !
LIV: Knock yourself out. Got the eye make-up for you - enjoy.
GRACE: Peg it!
LIV: That was so sick, Franky!
GRACE: You OK, Mins?
MINI: Fine. I mean, apart from securing a Crimewatch spot with thieves, abso-f*cking-lutely!
FRANKY: I'm kind of near here, so I'll see you guys.
FRANKY'S DAD 1: Franky?
LIV: Is that your dad?
FRANKY'S DAD 1: Franky?
GRACE: And who's that with him?
FRANKY: My other dad. I'm, er... I'm adopted.
GRACE: Oh! Like Annie. I totally love her.
FRANKY'S DAD 1: I can't stand the bitch. Are they, er, troubling you?
FRANKY: No, I'm fine.
MINI: We're Franky's new friends!
FRANKY'S DAD 1: Friends?
FRANKY'S DAD 2: Friends?
FRANKY'S DAD 1: Girl...
FRANKY'S DAD 2: ..friends?
Franky's house.
MINI: Was Franky, like, bridesmaid?
FRANKY'S DAD 1: Oh, no, we've only been blessed with her for two years.
FRANKY'S DAD 2: Ta-daah!
FRANKY'S DAD 1: My man's a Chef de Partie.
FRANKY'S DAD 2: Franky? Anyone else?
LIV: Mmm, this is sex!
MINI: So you actually made it, Jeff?
FRANKY'S DAD 1: At four this f*cking morning.
FRANKY'S DAD 2: I couldn't sleep. Franky's first day.
FRANKY'S DAD 1: Should have phoned after college. Had us worried sick.
MINI: Sorry. Totally my fault. Franks was trying stuff to wear to my party.
FRANKY'S DAD 2: Party? That's f*cking brill! Franky's going to a party, Geoff. What did you try on, darling?
MINI: We got her make-up, necklace and this. She looked oh-my-God amazing. You so have to wear it.
FRANKY'S DAD 1: Franky?
FRANKY'S DAD 2: Er, sorry. She's still a bit fragile.
MINI: That, erm, grief in Oxford, right?
FRANKY'S DAD 2: You... you know about that?
MINI: Yeah, Franks told us everything. Really tough, huh?
FRANKY'S DAD 2: Yeah, it was. Sorry, I need to check on dinner. I'll be back in two shakes.
MINI: They got married in an army uniform. Twisted or what?
GRACE: Mini, that's naughty!
MINI: What the f*ck?
LIV: Oh, my God, she's been fraped!
GRACE: Come on, Mini, this isn't fair!
MINI: Yeah, but look at that one!
FRANKY'S DAD 1: We do not lock doors in this family.
FRANKY: It's the toilet.
FRANKY'S DAD 1: Well, I haven't heard any lavatorial what-have-yous whatsoever, clever clogs. Chin up. Your mates await!
FRANKY'S DAD 2: What the hell are you doing looking at those?
MINI: It just came on when Grace brushed past it. We're really, really sorry. We're friends.
FRANKY'S DAD 2: This is not fair. She had a really sh*t time at the last school.
MINI: We were just looking.
FRANKY'S DAD 2: I don't care, this was a real...
FRANKY: What the f*ck?! I can't believe you looked at them! Please don't say anything. Please, promise. Promise me!
LIV: Yeah, Franky, we promise.
GRACE: Yes, Franky, of course.
MINI: Cross our hearts.
GIRLS: Bye.
FRANKY: Dicksplash!
FRANKY'S DAD 2: Geoff, did you hear that? She just called her dad "dicksplash".
FRANKY'S DAD 1: Franky, only I can call Geoff that.
FRANKY'S DAD 2: Great, gold star for discipline.
FRANKY'S DAD 1: I was aiming for levity. You need to start trusting. No person is an island. You're going to have to make an effort this time.
FRANKY: f*ck off.
FRANKY'S DAD 2: Freeze. You are not ducking brekkie again.
FRANKY: Trick or treat?
FRANKY'S DAD 1: Oh, bloody Nora.
FRANKY: Don't take the piss, all right.
FRANKY'S DAD 2: You've just been a bit over-zealous, that's all. Here, let me. When I was your age, I bough myself a Sergio Tacchini tracksuit and a sovereign ring for every finger.
FRANKY: You wore sovereigns?
FRANKY'S DAD 2: I even had a Playboy one. I didn't get any more sh*t off the estate after that, but I developed so much testosterone, I didn't know what to do. So I joined the TA.
FRANKY'S DAD 1: And when our eyes met across the as*ault course, he just couldn't deny me.
At school.
LIV: f*ck me, Franky.
GRACE: Pretty please with sugar on top. Adoring the new you.
LIV: Yeah, it's well original, Franks.
MINI: What's it called. Lidl La Roux?
GRACE: Mini...
MINI: I'm sorry, but you can't come to my soiree like that.
FRANKY: Why?
MINI: Cos... Cos I mean, it looks like she's been g*ng-r*ped by clowns! What about that gorge dress I got you?
FRANKY: I don't think it's...
MINI: Soz, don't speak mumble. What?
FRANKY: It isn't right.
MINI: Why not? Come on, why not?
FRANKY: Do I look like a bulimic f*cking Barbie? sh*t. I'm sorry.
MINI: Fine. It's fine. See you guys in class. Nick.
In classroom.
LITERATURE TEACHER: And it was my cell-mate, Peter, who taught me to read and it really helped block out the flashbacks from that... gruesome night. Who's this?
ALO: Your mum?
LITERATURE TEACHER: No. This is my mum, sandwiched between Dickens and Nabokov. This is the original punk - Charlotte f*cking Bronte! This is my ID. Do you get me? Yeah? Good. Now, I asked you to prepare and discuss to the class whether choice truly shapes us. Thank you, Richard, please resume picking your hole. Oi. Fresh meat. You're up.
LITERATURE TEACHER: No. f*ck is good. f*ck is poetic expression for the unsayable soul. Carry on.
FRANKY: Right. Yeah. So, um... f*cking. Erm... Yeah. Basically if... If you can, like, choose your identity cos... I tried today and now I feel, kind of, less like me and I mean I'm not exactly over the moon about being me in the first place, but now... Now I think... I kind of like it less than trying not to be me. Um, cos I just want to, like, just be.
GRACE: Yes, we can!
LITERATURE TEACHER: Well done, Fitzgerald, you just took a big dump on the grave of Jean-Paul Sartre.
NICK: Sorry, Sir. Rugger practice, like, over-ran and sh*t.
LITERATURE TEACHER: Your turn to pick up the soap, was it?
NICK: We use shower gel in the free world, Sir.
LITERATURE TEACHER: Sit the f*ck down, meatheads. Next up...
FRANKY: What's the big joke?
ALO: You... Franks.
MINI: Oh, my God! I'm so sorry. I thought something like this might happen. That's why I tried to help.
FRANKY: You promised.
LIV: Oh, Franks...
GRACE: Franky...
MINI: Looks like someone won't be coming to my party. Shame. What?
FRANKY: f*ck you! f*ck you all!
FRANKY: f*ck you, you b*tches! f*ck! You! Go! Go away, please! I said, "go away"!
MATTY: Is it real?
FRANKY: Do you want to find out? It's a re-drilled replica. It sh**t b*ll*ts, OK?
MATTY: b*ll*ts for b*tches?
FRANKY: What?
MATTY: Is this how you have fun?
FRANKY: Can you just leave me alone? Go on, then. I don't have to take this sh*t any more.
MATTY: No, you don't. Bang. You're beautiful.
FRANKY: No. No, I'm not. I'm... I'm a no-good sh*t magnet. I'm... I'm nothing.
MATTY: So why do I see a...glorious f*cking head-f*cked thing?
FRANKY: Who are you? Don't...
MATTY: See you around. Remember to aim straight for the heart next time.
Franky's bedroom.
GRACE: This is amazing! Is it like Wallace & Gromit?
FRANKY: After the apocalypse. How did you get in?
GRACE: Your dad let me. The old one. He's lovely.
FRANKY: So...you've come to take the piss some more?
GRACE: No, Franky. I came to say sorry.
FRANKY: Sorry ? For f*cking my life up? Again?
GRACE: That wasn't me, it was Nick. Mini's boyfriend?
FRANKY: Doing her dirty work.
GRACE: She's really sorry, Franky.
FRANKY: Bollocks.
GRACE: She is. I know she is. Deep down. She just... doesn't know it yet. We really like you, Franky. Me, Liv and um...
FRANKY: Have a great party.
GRACE: I'm sorry you won't be going, Franky.
FRANKY: Yeah. So am I. What do you think? Yeah. Me too. Let's go. Now. Now.
In the street.
ALO: We don't have an invite, dude.
RICH: f*ck it, just be cool! Evening, me lovely.
WOMAN: Don't think so, boys.
ALO: She's only a little chicken.
RICH: Rush on three. One, two...
WOMAN: Don't f*ck, lads.
BOYS: All right! All right!
ALO: Cor, you look sharp, Franks! I could go gay for you, I reck.
RICH: She's a girl, you d*ck.
ALO: You all right, little 'un? Franky!
RICH: Come on. Fancy a spliff?
FRANKY: Thanks.
WOMAN: You'll look like a nun at a brothel in there.
At the party.
FRANKY: Mini.
MINI: Franky, what the hell are you doing here?
FRANKY: I came because you, uh, you invited me.
MINI: Well, now I'm uh-uh-un-inviting you, Cinder-fella, so...leave.
FRANKY: I don't want...to. No, I'm staying. I'm...I'm not going anywhere.
MINI: F-R-E-A-K. Now what does that spell? Let me see, oh, yeah, you. No wonder the girls at your old school went ape sh*t on your arse. I mean, just, just look at you, standing there like some...
FRANKY: Cuntless d*ke-alike no-breed stutter-fucker spako lamo sh*t-headed w*nk*r magnet Oliver Twist-ed thimble-titted loser-loner fugly bastard? I think you're great. A billion miles better than this, this bollocks place. And I really feel...that, that we could be mates... f*cking awesome mates.
MINI: They're not your mates. They're my mates. We only let you tag along with us for jokes.
FRANKY: That's not true. Is it, Grace? That's not true.
MINI: Speak up, Gracey.
GRACE: Mini, please.
FRANKY: We had laughs, Liv, didn't we?
MINI: Must've been tripping, Frankenstein. Now get the f*ck out of my party. That bad-mouthed lesbo's like sh*t on my f*cking stiletto.
LIV: Seriously, Mins, this isn't Year 11 any more.
MINI: Where the f*ck is Grace?
ALO: I take it madam had a delightful eventide. sh*t.
GRACE: Franky! Come back!
FRANKY: Oi! What the f*ck? Get off me! Stop! Agh, what are you doing?! Can you f*cking put me down already? This isn't funny. f*cking hell, Rich, I'm gonna be sick.
At the swimming pool.
ALO: Right. Are we ready, yeah?
FRANKY: What the f*ck?
GRACE: Welcome to Bristol, Franky. This is my favourite place.
FRANKY: Cheers. You f*ckers!
RICH: Come on, come on!
GRACE: Come on, Franky, get in now!
FRANKY: I'm freezing...
FRANKY: Hey, what are you looking at? Come here.
FRANKY'S DAD 1: All set, tiger? That's the last of the boxes.
FRANKY'S DAD 2: Serrano and Reblochon sandwich, just in case the cafeteria isn't... Now, where's that smile?
FRANKY'S DAD 1: You off, Franky? Franky?
FRANKY'S DAD 2: New start, remember? Just try to blend in.
FRANKY'S DAD 1: And don't take any crap this time.
FRANKY: Bye, Dads.
In the street.
BOY 1: What the f*ck is that? Is that a batty or a lezzer?
BOY 2: Let's check it out!
BOY 1: We're BS5, get me?
FRANKY: So?
BOY 1: Yo. You deaf? Yeah, get it, bitch. Oh, my days!
BOY 2: You got dropped by a batty lezzer!
BOY 1: Shut the f*ck up! Come on, boys. Let's get 'er.
BOY 2: Get him!
BOY 1: She went up here. There. Stop her.
FRANKY: sh*t, sh*t, sh*t.
BOY 1: You're so iced.
FRANKY: Screw you!
BOY 1: Get her! Oi!
BOY 2: Ouch. Ouch.
BOY 1: Batty's getting away.
Front of the school.
FRANKY: Out of my way! f*ck, f*ck, f*ck. Get out of my way! Move! Move, move!
NICK: You OK, babe?
TEENAGER 1: What the f*ck happened to my bike?
TEENAGER 2: m*nled to sh*t, mate.
FRANKY: Sorry. I'm really, really sorry. The, er... The brakes were f*cked.
GRACE: Wow.
MINI: Has the circus come to town or what?
At school.
DOUG: Uh, uh. In you go.
FRANKY: I'm, uh, I'm Franky. Er, Fitzgerald? It's my first day.
DOUG: F... F...Fitz. Oh! The last-minute transfer. Francesca? Your first period is Sports Foundation, so...
FRANKY: What? But, I haven't got kit...
DOUG: Franky, my dear, I don't give a damn! And I've got just the thing, my own contribution...
In the cloakroom.
MINI: Er, excuse me. I was just wondering, are you, like, in fancy dress, or is that look an actual, like, choice?
FRANKY: What?
MINI: Oh, my God, what the hell are those? Problem? Earth to Oddness, what are you staring at?
FRANKY: f*cking hell.
MINI: See you on the field, stud. Try not to run me over next time. See ya.
GRACE: Bye.
On the sports ground.
GIRL 1: Move! You muppet.
MINI: p*ssy. Coming through, bitch!
MINI: Ahh! Take that! Nobody does that to me, OK?!
SPORT TEACHER: Oi, oi, oi! Hey! Shake hands and heal, ladies. Come on, shake. Nothing to see, girls. Play on.
MINI: Better watch your f*cking back, or you're dead meat... bruv.
In the canteen.
RICH: Scooter Girl! Now we're even Steven.
ALO: Hey, short stuff, what's up?
FRANKY: Nothing, just some nightmare girl.
RICH: So who is this chick that brings on the sweats?
FRANKY: Think her name's Mini.
BOYS: She's f*cked.
FRANKY: Why?
ALO: Meet Anita. Mini's last slay. She wore the same outfit on first day of college. Not pretty.
RICH: If Roundview was a medieval village, I'd strap that witch to a ducking stool.
ALO: Save us your Middle Ages wet dream, Rich!
RICH: She's probably got gills under her armpits.
MINI: Ahem!
ALO: Ladies! How's it hanging?
MINI: Cowshit and Bullshit. f*ck off, now. Those dicks are death. Avoid. Haven't seen you around Bristol. How come you started so late?
FRANKY: I 've like... moved here.
LIV: From where?
FRANKY: Oxford.
MINI: Understandable, but why?
FRANKY: If you're gonna start sh*t, can you just get it over with now, because I had enough grief before...
MINI: Start sh*t?
LIV: What grief?
GRACE: Before, like, Oxford, or past-life before? I had a dream two Sundays ago that I was a sl*ve, on a plantation in Jamaica...
GIRLS: Shut up, Grace.
MINI: No hard feelings. Again. I'm Mini.
LIV: Liv.
GRACE: Grace. Hello!
FRANKY: Franky.
MINI: You know, you are pretty f*cking...
GRACE: Badass.
MINI: Yes, you are. So, Franky Badass... fancy hanging out later?
FRANKY: No. Er, I mean, no thanks.
MINI: Are you say not cheap thing ?
FRANKY: No, I'm sure it smells lovely.
MINI: Not alternative enough for you?
FRANKY: I... I just... I got to, um... I've got go home after college.
GRACE: See you later!
MINI: Don't be gay, Gracey.
LIV: What was that about?
FRANKY: New start, yeah? New start.
LITERATURE TEACHER: Ah, newbie. School's out.
FRANKY: I, uh, had a stomach ache.
LITERATURE TEACHER: Oh, you got proof? Stool photos, sh*t like that?
FRANKY: Er, no.
LITERATURE TEACHER: Copy what's on the board. Present tomorrow. You're first.
In the street.
FRANKY: All right?
GRACE: Oh, great!
LIV: It's not brutal, Mini. It'd be rude not to. Franky ?
FRANKY: Nice one.
MINI: Welcome to our world!
GRACE: Come on, Franky.
GRACE: Peek-a-boo, Mini-moo!
LIV: Franky's seriously got the funk.
MINI: So, Franky, I'm having a party tomorrow night and er, was wondering...like to come?
FRANKY: That'd be... yeah, that'd be cool!
MINI: Excellent. Oh, but what are you going to wear? Cos we need, well, the situation sorted out first. No offence!
In a make-up shop.
MINI: Oh, my gosh. You've never worn make-up before, have you?
FRANKY: No.
LIV: What about with your girls in Oxford?
FRANKY: I didn't have none.
MINI: No friends?
FRANKY: No, I had a mate, a best mate, Dean, but he went young offenders.
GRACE: That is so f*cking cool!
MINI: I won't bite.
LIV: Look it's just to try. OK? Some eyeshadow won't hurt.
MINI: Ah, beautiful.
LIV: You've totally got, like, "f*ck me" eyes, girl. Totally "f*ck me sideways" eyes.
MINI: When you've finished licking her out... We've got outfits to sort!
MINI: This will be perfect for you, Franks!
FRANKY: I look like a f*cking twat.
MINI: What, like me, you mean?
FRANKY: No, no, it's just...
LIV: You look...
GRACE: Like a punky butterfly!
MINI: So, it's a sort of that.
FRANKY: What is?
MINI: What you're wearing to my party, butterfly. Minus the wife-beater and, um, shorts, naturally.
FRANKY: f*cking hell.
MINI: Hurry up !
LIV: Knock yourself out. Got the eye make-up for you - enjoy.
GRACE: Peg it!
LIV: That was so sick, Franky!
GRACE: You OK, Mins?
MINI: Fine. I mean, apart from securing a Crimewatch spot with thieves, abso-f*cking-lutely!
FRANKY: I'm kind of near here, so I'll see you guys.
FRANKY'S DAD 1: Franky?
LIV: Is that your dad?
FRANKY'S DAD 1: Franky?
GRACE: And who's that with him?
FRANKY: My other dad. I'm, er... I'm adopted.
GRACE: Oh! Like Annie. I totally love her.
FRANKY'S DAD 1: I can't stand the bitch. Are they, er, troubling you?
FRANKY: No, I'm fine.
MINI: We're Franky's new friends!
FRANKY'S DAD 1: Friends?
FRANKY'S DAD 2: Friends?
FRANKY'S DAD 1: Girl...
FRANKY'S DAD 2: ..friends?
Franky's house.
MINI: Was Franky, like, bridesmaid?
FRANKY'S DAD 1: Oh, no, we've only been blessed with her for two years.
FRANKY'S DAD 2: Ta-daah!
FRANKY'S DAD 1: My man's a Chef de Partie.
FRANKY'S DAD 2: Franky? Anyone else?
LIV: Mmm, this is sex!
MINI: So you actually made it, Jeff?
FRANKY'S DAD 1: At four this f*cking morning.
FRANKY'S DAD 2: I couldn't sleep. Franky's first day.
FRANKY'S DAD 1: Should have phoned after college. Had us worried sick.
MINI: Sorry. Totally my fault. Franks was trying stuff to wear to my party.
FRANKY'S DAD 2: Party? That's f*cking brill! Franky's going to a party, Geoff. What did you try on, darling?
MINI: We got her make-up, necklace and this. She looked oh-my-God amazing. You so have to wear it.
FRANKY'S DAD 1: Franky?
FRANKY'S DAD 2: Er, sorry. She's still a bit fragile.
MINI: That, erm, grief in Oxford, right?
FRANKY'S DAD 2: You... you know about that?
MINI: Yeah, Franks told us everything. Really tough, huh?
FRANKY'S DAD 2: Yeah, it was. Sorry, I need to check on dinner. I'll be back in two shakes.
MINI: They got married in an army uniform. Twisted or what?
GRACE: Mini, that's naughty!
MINI: What the f*ck?
LIV: Oh, my God, she's been fraped!
GRACE: Come on, Mini, this isn't fair!
MINI: Yeah, but look at that one!
FRANKY'S DAD 1: We do not lock doors in this family.
FRANKY: It's the toilet.
FRANKY'S DAD 1: Well, I haven't heard any lavatorial what-have-yous whatsoever, clever clogs. Chin up. Your mates await!
FRANKY'S DAD 2: What the hell are you doing looking at those?
MINI: It just came on when Grace brushed past it. We're really, really sorry. We're friends.
FRANKY'S DAD 2: This is not fair. She had a really sh*t time at the last school.
MINI: We were just looking.
FRANKY'S DAD 2: I don't care, this was a real...
FRANKY: What the f*ck?! I can't believe you looked at them! Please don't say anything. Please, promise. Promise me!
LIV: Yeah, Franky, we promise.
GRACE: Yes, Franky, of course.
MINI: Cross our hearts.
GIRLS: Bye.
FRANKY: Dicksplash!
FRANKY'S DAD 2: Geoff, did you hear that? She just called her dad "dicksplash".
FRANKY'S DAD 1: Franky, only I can call Geoff that.
FRANKY'S DAD 2: Great, gold star for discipline.
FRANKY'S DAD 1: I was aiming for levity. You need to start trusting. No person is an island. You're going to have to make an effort this time.
FRANKY: f*ck off.
FRANKY'S DAD 2: Freeze. You are not ducking brekkie again.
FRANKY: Trick or treat?
FRANKY'S DAD 1: Oh, bloody Nora.
FRANKY: Don't take the piss, all right.
FRANKY'S DAD 2: You've just been a bit over-zealous, that's all. Here, let me. When I was your age, I bough myself a Sergio Tacchini tracksuit and a sovereign ring for every finger.
FRANKY: You wore sovereigns?
FRANKY'S DAD 2: I even had a Playboy one. I didn't get any more sh*t off the estate after that, but I developed so much testosterone, I didn't know what to do. So I joined the TA.
FRANKY'S DAD 1: And when our eyes met across the as*ault course, he just couldn't deny me.
At school.
LIV: f*ck me, Franky.
GRACE: Pretty please with sugar on top. Adoring the new you.
LIV: Yeah, it's well original, Franks.
MINI: What's it called. Lidl La Roux?
GRACE: Mini...
MINI: I'm sorry, but you can't come to my soiree like that.
FRANKY: Why?
MINI: Cos... Cos I mean, it looks like she's been g*ng-r*ped by clowns! What about that gorge dress I got you?
FRANKY: I don't think it's...
MINI: Soz, don't speak mumble. What?
FRANKY: It isn't right.
MINI: Why not? Come on, why not?
FRANKY: Do I look like a bulimic f*cking Barbie? sh*t. I'm sorry.
MINI: Fine. It's fine. See you guys in class. Nick.
In classroom.
LITERATURE TEACHER: And it was my cell-mate, Peter, who taught me to read and it really helped block out the flashbacks from that... gruesome night. Who's this?
ALO: Your mum?
LITERATURE TEACHER: No. This is my mum, sandwiched between Dickens and Nabokov. This is the original punk - Charlotte f*cking Bronte! This is my ID. Do you get me? Yeah? Good. Now, I asked you to prepare and discuss to the class whether choice truly shapes us. Thank you, Richard, please resume picking your hole. Oi. Fresh meat. You're up.
LITERATURE TEACHER: No. f*ck is good. f*ck is poetic expression for the unsayable soul. Carry on.
FRANKY: Right. Yeah. So, um... f*cking. Erm... Yeah. Basically if... If you can, like, choose your identity cos... I tried today and now I feel, kind of, less like me and I mean I'm not exactly over the moon about being me in the first place, but now... Now I think... I kind of like it less than trying not to be me. Um, cos I just want to, like, just be.
GRACE: Yes, we can!
LITERATURE TEACHER: Well done, Fitzgerald, you just took a big dump on the grave of Jean-Paul Sartre.
NICK: Sorry, Sir. Rugger practice, like, over-ran and sh*t.
LITERATURE TEACHER: Your turn to pick up the soap, was it?
NICK: We use shower gel in the free world, Sir.
LITERATURE TEACHER: Sit the f*ck down, meatheads. Next up...
FRANKY: What's the big joke?
ALO: You... Franks.
MINI: Oh, my God! I'm so sorry. I thought something like this might happen. That's why I tried to help.
FRANKY: You promised.
LIV: Oh, Franks...
GRACE: Franky...
MINI: Looks like someone won't be coming to my party. Shame. What?
FRANKY: f*ck you! f*ck you all!
FRANKY: f*ck you, you b*tches! f*ck! You! Go! Go away, please! I said, "go away"!
MATTY: Is it real?
FRANKY: Do you want to find out? It's a re-drilled replica. It sh**t b*ll*ts, OK?
MATTY: b*ll*ts for b*tches?
FRANKY: What?
MATTY: Is this how you have fun?
FRANKY: Can you just leave me alone? Go on, then. I don't have to take this sh*t any more.
MATTY: No, you don't. Bang. You're beautiful.
FRANKY: No. No, I'm not. I'm... I'm a no-good sh*t magnet. I'm... I'm nothing.
MATTY: So why do I see a...glorious f*cking head-f*cked thing?
FRANKY: Who are you? Don't...
MATTY: See you around. Remember to aim straight for the heart next time.
Franky's bedroom.
GRACE: This is amazing! Is it like Wallace & Gromit?
FRANKY: After the apocalypse. How did you get in?
GRACE: Your dad let me. The old one. He's lovely.
FRANKY: So...you've come to take the piss some more?
GRACE: No, Franky. I came to say sorry.
FRANKY: Sorry ? For f*cking my life up? Again?
GRACE: That wasn't me, it was Nick. Mini's boyfriend?
FRANKY: Doing her dirty work.
GRACE: She's really sorry, Franky.
FRANKY: Bollocks.
GRACE: She is. I know she is. Deep down. She just... doesn't know it yet. We really like you, Franky. Me, Liv and um...
FRANKY: Have a great party.
GRACE: I'm sorry you won't be going, Franky.
FRANKY: Yeah. So am I. What do you think? Yeah. Me too. Let's go. Now. Now.
In the street.
ALO: We don't have an invite, dude.
RICH: f*ck it, just be cool! Evening, me lovely.
WOMAN: Don't think so, boys.
ALO: She's only a little chicken.
RICH: Rush on three. One, two...
WOMAN: Don't f*ck, lads.
BOYS: All right! All right!
ALO: Cor, you look sharp, Franks! I could go gay for you, I reck.
RICH: She's a girl, you d*ck.
ALO: You all right, little 'un? Franky!
RICH: Come on. Fancy a spliff?
FRANKY: Thanks.
WOMAN: You'll look like a nun at a brothel in there.
At the party.
FRANKY: Mini.
MINI: Franky, what the hell are you doing here?
FRANKY: I came because you, uh, you invited me.
MINI: Well, now I'm uh-uh-un-inviting you, Cinder-fella, so...leave.
FRANKY: I don't want...to. No, I'm staying. I'm...I'm not going anywhere.
MINI: F-R-E-A-K. Now what does that spell? Let me see, oh, yeah, you. No wonder the girls at your old school went ape sh*t on your arse. I mean, just, just look at you, standing there like some...
FRANKY: Cuntless d*ke-alike no-breed stutter-fucker spako lamo sh*t-headed w*nk*r magnet Oliver Twist-ed thimble-titted loser-loner fugly bastard? I think you're great. A billion miles better than this, this bollocks place. And I really feel...that, that we could be mates... f*cking awesome mates.
MINI: They're not your mates. They're my mates. We only let you tag along with us for jokes.
FRANKY: That's not true. Is it, Grace? That's not true.
MINI: Speak up, Gracey.
GRACE: Mini, please.
FRANKY: We had laughs, Liv, didn't we?
MINI: Must've been tripping, Frankenstein. Now get the f*ck out of my party. That bad-mouthed lesbo's like sh*t on my f*cking stiletto.
LIV: Seriously, Mins, this isn't Year 11 any more.
MINI: Where the f*ck is Grace?
ALO: I take it madam had a delightful eventide. sh*t.
GRACE: Franky! Come back!
FRANKY: Oi! What the f*ck? Get off me! Stop! Agh, what are you doing?! Can you f*cking put me down already? This isn't funny. f*cking hell, Rich, I'm gonna be sick.
At the swimming pool.
ALO: Right. Are we ready, yeah?
FRANKY: What the f*ck?
GRACE: Welcome to Bristol, Franky. This is my favourite place.
FRANKY: Cheers. You f*ckers!
RICH: Come on, come on!
GRACE: Come on, Franky, get in now!
FRANKY: I'm freezing...