06x08 - A Fistful of Datas

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Star Trek: The Next Generation". Aired: September 28, 1987 – May 23, 1994.*
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Series is set 78 years after the original series -- in the 24th century.
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06x08 - A Fistful of Datas

Post by bunniefuu »

Captain's log, stardate 46271.5.

The Enterprise
has entered orbit of Deinonychus VII

but our rendezvous with supply ship
Biko has been delayed by 48 hours.

In the meantime, the crew
are taking advantage of the delay

to pursue their own projects,
myself included.

Computer, stop playback.

Change the clarinet to an oboe.

Continue recording.

Computer, pause playback. Come.

Yes, gentlemen?

We'd like to take the Engineering
computer off line for a few hours.

We are working on an interface
to allow Data to act as backup.

In theory, my neural network
should sustain key systems

until primary control is restored.

Intriguing. I'll be interested to see
the results. Permission granted.

It's possible we could run secondary
systems through Data.

I get the idea. Thank you.
Please proceed.

Computer, begin playback
from the first measure.

Computer, pause recording. Come.

Jean-Luc, I need to talk
about Something for Breakfast.

Breakfast?

- The play.
- Yes.

Well, it's a very intriguing drama.

But I don't have the time it would
take to learn a part.

Anyway, I'm not much of an actor.

That's no problem.

You wouldn't be playing a lead.

It's a very small part.
Only two lines.

- Really?
- It's the role of the butler.

I'll think about it and let you know.

You would be wonderful, Jean-Luc.

We're rehearsing today at 1:30.

Computer, begin playback
from the first measure.

Computer, pause recording. Yes?

Captain, sorry to interrupt.

No, please, come in.

I was hoping to stage
ship-wide security drills.

I have planned a schedule.

This is very impressive.

But we'll be taking on
new personnel at Starbase 118.

The drills can wait till then.

In that case, I will use the time
to check the forward phaser array.

Mr. Worf, is there some reason
why you're giving yourself more work?

No, sir. I simply wish to use...

Enjoy yourself.
You have free time. Use it.

Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.

Computer, continue recording
and playback once more.

From the top.

Father!

What did he say?

The Captain released me
from my duties.

- You mean you can go?
- I can go.

Saddle up, Father.

Space, the final frontier.

These are the voyages
of the Starship Enterprise.

Its continuing mission,
to explore strange new worlds,...

..to seek out new life
and new civilizations,...

..to boldly go
where no one has gone before.

Where are we?

Deadwood. 19th-century Earth.

The Ancient West.

What is our function here?

You're the sheriff
and I'm the deputy.

So, we are in law enforcement.

Right.

Geordi, I have noticed
that you have not shaved.

Are you attempting
to grow another beard?

As a matter of fact, I am.
What do you think?

As with many
natural growth processes,

it is difficult to envision
based on an intermediate stage.

You're right.
Give it a few more days.

OK. I'm gonna need to access
your auxiliary inputs.

One moment.

I must admit, I never get used
to seeing you like this.

I do not understand.

You constantly work
on similar electronic systems,

yet their appearances
do not disturb you.

But you're not just another
electronic system.

Thank you, Geordi.

Nor are you just another
biological organism.

Alright. That should do it.
Are you ready?

Yes. Establishing computer linkup.

Interface complete.

Alright. Let's see what you can do.

You wrote this holodeck program?

Well, Mr. Barclay helped a little.

I must have a little talk
with Mr. Barclay.

If ever I find the varmint
that drew this, he'll be sorry.

I'm ten times uglier than that.

Shut up.

You laugh so much, it's a wonder
you ain't got flies in your mouth.

You're a very funny man, Se?or Eli.

That's the bad guy. Eli Hollander,
the Butcher of Bozeman.

He's k*lled 23 men.

He's the meanest,
toughest gunslinger in the West.

You have to watch him. He's fast.

- So I am here to apprehend him?
- If you can.

You are under arrest.

Is that so?

You will come with me.

No, no, no.

Computer, freeze program.

- What is wrong?
- That was too easy.

It has to be harder to b*at
the bad guys, otherwise, it's no fun.

Computer, increase program difficulty
to level four.

Go back to where we first walked
into the saloon.

Come on, Father.

If ever I find the varmint
that drew this, he'll be sorry.

I'm ten times uglier than that.

Shut up.

You laugh so much, it's a wonder
you ain't got flies in your mouth.

You're a very funny man, Se?or Eli.

Where are they going?

They don't wanna get hit
by the b*ll*ts.

You are under arrest.

Well...

Looks like Sheriff Worf's here
to arrest me.

That don't sound like a bright idea.

Do it?

You have been accused
of committing a homicide.

If you mean m*rder,
then I guess I'm guilty.

I've k*lled 23 men, Sheriff.

One more ain't gonna make
much of a difference.

Of course, sh**ting someone
as ugly as you

couldn't be considered a crime,
could it?

Was you born that way
or did your momma marry an armadillo?

Sheriff, look out.

I'm beginning to see
the appeal of this.

Don't twitch a whisker, Sheriff,
unless you want a shave.

OK, boys.

Saddle up.

But first,
get their money and jewellery.

You are a m*rder*r and a thief.

A man's gotta make a living.

I suggest
you find a new line of work.

I asked Counsellor Troi to join us.
She loves Western stories.

You'll regret this, stranger.

I am now attempting to access
the long-range sensor array.

Forward sensor array coming on line.

We're getting a clear scan.

I will perform a routine maintenance
check on the inertial dampers.

Dampers on line.
Maintenance check in progress.

Data, we're on to something here.

Let's see about secondary systems.
Try gravitational control.

Initiating grav...

What's wrong?

There's an energy fluctuation
in my neural net.

I am disconnecting
my interface to the computer.

Interface deactivated.

Are you alright?

I have experienced a power surge
in my positronic subprocessor.

But I am fine.

Maybe the interface coding
isn't as stable as we thought.

We've got a few hours of systems
analysis before we try again.

Let's check
the interface programming.

What are his rights?

Is there a trial
or shall I execute him?

We're supposed to hold him
till the US Marshal comes.

Then we take him to Rapids City
for trial.

Frankly, I don't think
I'll be around here that long,

not after my old man
hears about this.

What old man are you referring to?

My pa.

When he breaks me out
of this tin can,

the grave digger'll
be working overtime.

Your pa is no match
for Sheriff Worf.

Yes. When your pa comes,
we will be ready for him.

He's right.

You're no match for the Hollanders.

I am sure that the three of us
can handle any problems.

Hold on.

I was just passing,
saw a little trouble and lent a hand.

But I ain't one of your deputies,
Sheriff.

Counsellor, I would appreciate
support in this matter.

Durango. I'm called Durango.

Yes.

Counsellor Durango, would you
consider becoming a temporary deputy?

For a price.

$500.

Alexander, we require
large amounts of currency.

Yes, sir! I'll go to the bank
and make a withdrawal.

Deanna, how do you know so much
about this period in Earth's history?

My father read me stories from
the Ancient West when I was little.

I must admit, I always wanted
to play the mysterious stranger.

You are so brave, facing down
that evil man like you did.

Why, thank you, Ms...?

Annie, you big galoot.

You best not forget that tonight.

Cos I'm gonna make you a beefsteak
and gooseberry cobbler for dessert.

Sounds delicious.

And I bought some special candles
for the table setting.

Pure beeswax.

I will not be able to come
this evening. I have a prisoner.

I'll keep an eye on him.
You two have a good time.

That's very considerate.

But I would be negligent in my duties
if I did not stay. Sorry.

It's another woman.

That floozy
at Miss Langford's house of pleasure!

Who?

You sure got a way with women,
Sheriff.

Computer, activate
Picard Mozart Trio, program one.

Play back tracks one, two and three.

Tempo allegro.

Computer, stop playback.

Computer,
identify musical composition.

Picard Mozart "Trio", program one.

OK.

Let's work through Act II
from the beginning.

Whenever you're ready.

"Felis catus
is your taxonomic nomenclature,

An endothermic quadruped,
carnivorous by nature..."

Hold it. Will, what are you reading?

The lines. Why?

That's not the right dialogue.

"Your visual,
olfactory and auditory senses..."

I recognize it.
This is Data's poetry.

What?

The play's gone.
I just keep getting more poetry.

Well, the paths
are functioning normally.

Seems to be a problem
with information retrieval.

When you called up your play,

the computer
accessed Data's literary files.

Perhaps this problem is related
to our interface experiment.

Better run a level-two diagnostic.
See if this problem has spread.

- I will perform a self-diagnostic.
- Good idea.

Let me know if you find the play.

Yeah, don't worry.
It's in here somewhere.

We got him, jefe.

Where's my boy?

I'm not supposed
to be kidnapped now.

Computer, freeze program.

Computer, freeze program.

You want us to k*ll him, Se?or Frank?

No. He's more valuable to us alive.

Feline supplement 127.

Spot, I have formulated
a new mixture of food

designed for your
highly selective tastes.

I find it difficult to predict
what you will find acceptable.

Perhaps hunger
will compel you to try it again.

Spot, you are disrupting
my ability to work.

Vamoose, you little varmint.

What'll it be?

I was looking for my deputy.
Perhaps you have seen him.

Nope. What'll you have?

Klingon fire wine.

This ain't Kansas City.

We ain't got none
of that fancy European stuff here.

Maybe I should get you a sherry.

Ain't that what they serve
at Miss Langford's? It is, ain't it?

Ain't it?

Howdy, Sheriff.

Commander. What are you doing here?

The name is Frank Hollander.

What are you looking at?

Nothing.
Nothing at all, Mr. Hollander.

What do you want?

My boy.

That is impossible. Your son
is to stand trial for m*rder.

Well then, we'll just
have to work something out.

Is there anything you want
in exchange for my boy?

You have nothing I want.

Is that so?

Is that so?

What about your deputy?

What about him?

Where is he?

I do not negotiate with criminals.

Your son will stand trial.

Not so fast.

Commander, what are you doing?

I ain't in the mood for games,
Sheriff.

Commander?

Computer, freeze program.

I wouldn't walk out that door
if I was you.

What's wrong?

The holodeck's safeguards
are not functioning.

Alexander's in trouble.

My God, you've been sh*t!

Computer, end program.

Troi to Capt Picard.

Troi to Security.

There's another character
in the program.

Hollander's father.
And he looks like Cmdr Data.

Data?

But it is not Data. I cannot explain.

I believe he has taken Alexander.

Now, isn't that a shame?

Poor Sheriff's been injured.

What's the matter?
Was my pa too rough on you?

Data!

What?

Why is the computer creating
characters that look like Data?

Where have they taken my son?

Where is he?

Temper, temper, Sheriff.

My pa ain't gonna like it
if I come home all bruised.

Worf, wait.

We have to remember,
even though the safeguards are off,

this is still a program.

If we can get to the end
of this story as it was designed,

the program
will automatically terminate.

You are right. I will begin by
speaking to the people of this town.

Perhaps somebody witnessed
Alexander's abduction.

Captain's log, supplemental.

La Forge and Data
have found the cause

of the mysterious malfunctions
which have been plaguing the ship.

We think our experiment caused one
of the subroutines to be altered.

When the malfunction occurred,

subroutine C-47 was replaced
by elements from my programming.

What does C-47 control?

Library-computer access,
replicator selection,

recreation, no critical systems.

That would explain why your program
began playing the Slavonic Dances.

I have been analyzing
the works of Anton?n Dvo??k.

It's the same with the play
and the food replicators.

The replicators on decks four to nine
are producing nothing but cat food.

- Cat food?
- Nutritional supplements for Spot.

When can you correct it?

We are attempting to isolate
the corrupt circuit pathways.

I reckon
the process should take two hours.

- What did you say?
- The process should take two hours.

No. You said, "I reckon".

According to my memory logs,
I did not.

Y'all must be mistaken.

Data, you did it again.

Did what?

Mr. La Forge, take Mr. Data
to Engineering to find the problem.

Aye, sir.

Can I help you with something?

I spoke to several witnesses

who saw Alexander being abducted
by one of Hollander's men.

We must begin a systematic search
of the town.

We've got another problem.

I saw Eli playing cards,
shuffling the way Data does.

He doesn't just look like Data,
he has Data's abilities.

Which means
his father probably does, also.

- I've come to see my boy.
- Remove your w*apon.

Better take a good look at that g*n.
You might see it again soon.

Pa.

Eli.

How are they treating you?

Real bad. They ain't fed me
since I got here.

That Sheriff's been roughing up
on me something fierce.

Don't you worry, boy.
The Sheriff's gonna pay.

- Who's the stranger?
- I don't know.

She ain't said her name.

But she's in cahoots
with the Sheriff,

and she's mighty mean
with that Winchester.

You sit tight, boy. I'll have you
home in time for supper.

I'm gonna give you
one more opportunity, Sheriff,

to avoid a ugly situation.

Release my boy.

I have reconsidered your offer.

I will release your son
in exchange for my deputy.

I thought you might have
a change of heart.

Meet me in two hours.
You be in front of the saloon.

I'll be in front
of the livery stable.

Strangers ain't invited.

Agreed.

In every Western I've ever read,
the villains break their word.

- He can't be trusted.
- We made an honourable agreement.

They're not concerned with honour.
This is the Ancient West.

There's a gunfighter with the speed
and accuracy of an android.

In two hours, he'll try to k*ll you.

- Mr. Data?
- Howdy, Commander.

Geordi, what have you found?

Well, we figure
part of my memory structure

was replaced with information
from the recreational database.

Specifically, files relating
to the American 19th-century West.

- That would explain the accent.
- You got it, partner.

This is a result of the interface?

I'm afraid so.
We've initiated a memory purge

to restore Data's programming.

He should be normal in two hours.

And the recreational database?

We started a memory purge there, too.
Another hour, maybe two.

Commander.

You just sit tight. We'll have
this fixed up in time for supper.

Good.

I will be at this end of the street.

Frank Hollander
will approach from this end.

At this point,
he will be within range.

Understood. What about Alexander?

There's a rain barrel here.
It should stop the b*ll*ts.

You would not believe
what I went through

to get old man Newsom to give up
his telegraph machine.

Excellent.

Lord knows why I keep risking
my life for you, Sheriff.

Yes. Thank you, Miss Annie.
I'm in your debt.

I have connected
the communicator's energy cell

to serve as the power source.

How long will the field last?

No more than 15 seconds.
It is highly unstable.

Let's hope it's enough.

- Eli, get down.
- Alexander.

Don't even think about it.

Se?or Frank.

Go ahead. sh**t me.

Do not show your face
in this town again.

Let's go.

Father.

- Are you alright?
- Yes.

End program.

I don't understand this.

The story should be over.
What's left?

Computer, end program.

Sheriff!

You're as handy
with a sh**ting iron...

..as you are with a woman's heart.

Computer, end program.

Computer, now!

Captain's log, stardate 46278.3.

Both Cmdr Data and the computer

have been restored
to normal operation.

Our rendezvous with the ship Biko
has proceeded as planned.

Father?

After what happened,

I guess you'll never want
to go back to the Ancient West.

The town of Deadwood
may face danger once again.

If they do, they will need a sheriff.

And a deputy.

(ENGLISH)
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