06x13 - Open All Hours

[bunniefuu]

I'm coping on my own!
Hello, Craig. I'm back!

ROCK MUSIC
HE LAUGHS

'Confidential are on set
with an inseparable duo.'

I'm your baby? You're my baby!

Mmm!

'We find out how many babies
it takes to film an episode...'

♪ Incy-wincy spider

♪ Climbing up the wall ♪

'..we spend a day
with a location manager...'

We're building a crane there.
Look, it's Doctor Who Confidential.

'..and we watch a smashing stunt.

'All this and more
on Doctor Who Confidential.'

This is James and Matt.
We're doing a video diary

for Doctor Who. The time is...

Sorry. The time... What's the time?

The time is...
Hang on. I've got it here.

The time is... ...
Three hours left!

It's nothing, is it?
That's minutes past midnight.

We've got three hours left.
Which is nothing,

cos we've been working till six.
Every morning. Every morn.

I've got a missed call,
so I might just call my girlfriend.

Absolutely. Cos she's pregnant.
Maybe she's having a baby.

HE LAUGHS
Oh, God. Can you imagine?

We should capture it on film,
see if she's having a baby.

Mrs JC.

Have you had the baby?

No, she hasn't. OK. Thank God.

'The Doctor Who cast and crew
are preparing to film

'in a department store.

'They're joined by
returning guest star James Corden.'

So have it go like that,
and you still did that a little bit,

but that's fine because the mouth
is zipped open. Hold it still again.

You did your sonic as well.
So it's the finger up,

holding it there
for a good ten seconds, reaction...

Sonic. Sonic. Gotcha.
Is this Doctor Who Confidential?

Doctor Who Confidential.
Look who's back!

One of the great joys for me
in series five

was how successful and how beloved
the episode The Lodger was,

because it was quite close
to my heart, that one.

JC's back in the house.
How are you? I've missed you.

Having had that, the wonderful
James Corden playing Craig,

I said, "Can we do it again?
Can you go back and visit again?

Is there some other
story we can tell?"

It's a pleasure to see you again.

I was really excited to work
with James Corden,

because he's got a fantastic
back catalogue of comedy parts,

from Gavin And Stacey, and
everything he's done, the movies,

and that when he turned up on set,

you don't really have to give him
a lot of direction.

One of the wonderful things
about James as an actor

is that he is perfect at pitching
a look, if you know what I mean.

If you require him
to give a look of exasperation

or pleasure or something,
he can do it.

Cut there!

Generally speaking,
when you see James in things,

he's playing the funny one.
He is the comedy one.

I didn't know there was going to be
a Cyberman invasion! Ssh...

It takes skill, diplomacy and tact
to move from the funny one

to actually being slightly the
straight man to the wacky Doctor.

Agh!

He does it so perfectly,
and every time I see them,

I want to see lots more adventures
with the Doctor and Craig.

It's lovely to come back
to the show.

It was, you know, a pleasant,
unexpected surprise, really.

Hello. I... Is it recording? Yes.

I just love working with Matt,
really,

so it was a no-brainer to come back.

The Matt-and-James double act,

it's got elements
of Laurel and Hardy,

a little bit of Abbott and Costello,
Simon Pegg and Nick Frost,

but they're their own duo,
I think, as well.

In between scenes, Matt Smith
likes to hold art classes.

This is one of them.

I'm never sure how much people getting
on off-screen affects on-screen stuff,

cos they're all really good actors,
so they can fake it, frankly.

You're beginning to annoy me, Corden.
JAMES LAUGHS

But they do get on very well,
and that's up there for all to see.

What is this? Don't know.

The Doctor's this otherworldly guy

who knows everything
about the universe,

and Craig is this very comfortable guy
being pulled along on this adventure,

and the humour comes out of
those two worlds crashing together,

and it's very funny to watch.

Ahh!
We're partners.

I love you.

It's nice for baby to have
two daddies who love each other.

Argh!

The Doctor allows Craig to come along

and play the part of his companion,
and gives him advice,

and I think Craig is following
what the Doctor does, really.

He thinks if you go up and speak
to people in that confidential way,

that they'll respond.
He's trying it out.

He thinks, "If the Doctor can do it,
so can I."

All right, Alfie.
You watch Daddy investigate.

You look cute, I'll do the talking.

And Craig, unfortunately...
meets Kelly, and it goes very badly.

And action.

Good afternoon, sir. Can I help you?

Hello.

I'm Craig. Yeah?

I was kind of thinking about him
sort of bumbling through that.

Do you mind if I ask you
some questions? You what?

Just between me and you,
in confidence,

have you noticed anything...

unusual?

Interesting? You what?

Talk to me about ladies' wear.

George!

He gets too close to Kelly,
asking her too many questions.

As he backs away, we got him to
keep bumping into this sales unit,

and he knocked it over
time after time after time.

It almost felt like a stunt.
We just kept the camera running.

Some of the stuff that happened
afterwards is so funny.

We had to cut away to get the impact
to be in another scene,

but what happened was very funny.

, take , A marker. B mark.

Action.

Look how cute my baby is!

Look at his face!

All right... Oh! Whoa!

So sorry. I'll be all right.
I'll be...

I'm all right now.

Sorry. I've got it.

I've got it.

Get that?
THEY LAUGH

Usually you get the funniest stuff
on the first couple of takes,

because
that's the most natural reaction,

but James is such a pro that he went
full steam every single time.

And action.

I'll get going,
but thank you for your time.

I'm sorry. Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

Whoa! Whoa! George... George...

Whoa. Whoa.

HE LAUGHS

THEY LAUGH AND CHATTER
And cut. Thank you.

Very good.

Have you seen how cute my baby is?

Have you seen his face? I'm going
to head off. All right. Whoa!

CLATTERING
What's all that hullaballoo?

Er, that'll be my partner.

'Hang on a minute.' George?

'Did you spot
the other creepy character?

'Over here.

'Still not clear?'

Hey, come with me.
Come and look who this is.

Are you a Radio fan?

You a Radio fan, yeah? Absolutely.

Doctor Who Confidential... Hiya.

It's Greg James. All right?

From Radio .
That's exciting, isn't it?

He sent me a text saying,
"I'm coming to Doctor Who."

"I think it's when you're there."
He came down,

and he had a bit of a shock
when it was nights,

and he's in the back of sh*t
in one of my scenes.

So if you look behind James
when he's being extra-creepy,

you'll see Greg James shopping
for ladies' underwear,

and the only note I gave to him was,

"Make sure you're looking
a bit suspicious

as you're looking at
this underwear."

So you catch a couple of flashes
of Greg.

Greg's getting notes
on his performance.

I think he had a different idea
of who the character was.

I was thinking of
kind of just going...

OK. For a take...like that.

, take , B camera only.

And...action.

'I think he really enjoyed it.
He's a huge Doctor Who fan.'

He's a big fan of
Matt's, so it was great

having him on set, really.
It was really nice.

Today I've been playing the role of
"man in lingerie department",

which I can do really well.

I do it most Saturdays, so...

I just brought that here today to
Cardiff. I have to react and go...

Like the acting?
I've a got a : in drama.

Sorry, George. OK. Cut that.

'Someone said to me,

'"Would you like to be in
a bit of Doctor Who?"

'And only an idiot would say no.'

And they said,
"Well, it's a night sh**t,"

and I went,
"That's all right. That's fine."

They said, "It's in Cardiff."
I went, "OK. That's fine."

They said,
"You won't be done until one."

I said, "That's quite late. I've got
to be back at Radio by one next day."

It's now...

..four o'clock, nearly.

My train back to London is at eight.

It was very tough to sh**t
in the department store,

because the department store would
have to be closed out of hours

so we could sh**t, even though a lot
of scenes were set in the daytime.

We had to sh**t
from seven o'clock onwards,

so after the staff went, we'd move in
and sh**t till six in the morning.

It was tough, but that also brings
with it an element of fun,

because you just get
a bit sort of...

lightheaded, and you kind of...
You become a bit hysterical.

The whole crew do, really.

Don't be surprised if we're not
all looking at the th Doctor.

That's all I'll say.
And that's not my words.

That's the words of the producers.

It was... It was amazing.

'Greg created a character, and
that character was called Carlos.'

Carlos was shopping for underwear
for a friend...

not his girlfriend,
and it was a whole thing, and...

Did you not get that by watching it?
Did you not...

If you watch it back now,
you'll see there's a whole thing.

That's why he's...
You'll be kicking yourself.

Yeah. You'll really, um...
But, yeah. I was blown away by it.

On the DVD box, it'll say,

"Carlos"... It'll say "Carlos Who".

"Carlos Who".
"Carlos Who", question mark.

I think filming at four o'clock
in the morning

does put a drain on people. We were
only there four or five nights.

Then when we moved to the house,
we were finishing at, like...

four or five in the morning,
and me and Matt,

one night, I mean, we lost it.

Craig? Doctor?

Can you hear me?
Yes. I don't know what to do.

Listen to me, Craig. Yes.
There's something in your house now.

If you see it...

It's been miniaturised, but it's the
most evil, terrible, ghastly thing

that the universe
has ever, ever known.

What do you mean?

It's a Dalek.

HE GASPS IN FEAR
What does it look like?

Small. Gold.

Oh, God. I know.
It's in Alfie's room.

MATT SINGS "DOCTOR WHO THEME" INTRO

JAMES SINGS THEME MELODY

THEY LAUGH

SONG: "I'm In The House"
by Steve Aoki

OK. Just rehearsing...

'Downstairs at the house,
the crew are raising a glass

'and preparing a cracking stunt.'

Here you look up, see James,
and you're straight over him.

He'll be lying there,
but he won't be there for the stunt.

Today we're doing a scene
which involves the Doctor and Craig,

and the Doctor goes outside
with the little boy Alfie,

and then he hears Craig calling
from inside the house,

and you realise
he's locked himself out the house.

Doctor!

CRACKLING / SNARLING

No, no, no, no, no, no, no!

So we have him start to run towards
it, then cut him from behind

to follow him in towards the smash,
because the glass smashes.

Then this side of it
is only Matt coming through

with the fake glass
and then landing, and then head up.

The window that was in there
originally was a bit too small

for a stunt performer
to jump through,

so they literally built this
whole window that would slide in,

which was just wide enough for
the stunt performer to jump through,

and I wanted it to feel like you were
running through it with the Doctor.

How's that feeling for you?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah?

He jumps through a panel of glass.
Now, in order to do that,

we've got some toughened glass

which is the same as what we find
in your car side windows.

It breaks into chunks.

We're using real glass
because it's such a big door

that we can't use shatter glass.
My role here today

is to make sure
that I break the window

the moment that the stunt person
jumps through the window,

so I've got some expl*sive charges
on the base of the window,

and what that does,
when I press the button,

it sends a pin into the glass,
breaks the glass a fraction

the moment the stuntman
touches the glass.

And...
BABY CRIES

..action.

After the Doctor's
put the baby outside,

we had Matt running towards
the glass,

then the stunt performer, Gordon,
who's a great stunt performer,

jump through the glass
so the window explodes.

Action!

And as we cut, we have the Doctor
landing like a cat

in front of the lens, with all
the fake glass showering over him.

Three, two, one... Action!

A kind of "hero" sh*t, push in.
But it's very exciting.

♪ Baby, I've been

♪ Breaking glass in your room again

♪ Listen

♪ Don't look at the carpet

♪ I threw something awful on it

♪ See

♪ Breaking glass in your room again ♪

It's the first time
I've done a stunt of that size,

and it looks fantastic. The crews
really know what they're doing,

so everything's very safe,
which puts your mind at rest.

OK. Here comes the pain,
right, old bean?

So, three o'clock in the morning.
We've got how many pages

in our scene tomorrow?
Five, and then another three,

then I've got another two
on top of that.

That's ten pages of dialogue.
Well, something like that.

In a day? Yeah. OK.

It can't be. Well, it is.
That's what you just said.

Yeah, but I'm probably lying.
Probably wrong.

This is learning lines - Matt Smith
and the guy who plays Craig.

JC. OK. Back in Who.

So, when you said on your own...
I meant on my own with baby,

cos no-one thinks I can cope
on my own, and that's so unfair,

cos... I can't cope on my own with
him! He just cries all the time.

How do you stop 'em crying?
Do they have "off" switches?

Human beings?
No. Believe me, I've checked. Babies!

Same difference.
Sometimes this works, though.

Ssh...
BABY WAILS THEN FALLS SILENT

And scene!

We've got to learn that by tomorrow.
And it is already tomorrow.

It is tomorrow.
Today, we've got to learn that.

Let's read six.

Whatever you are,
get off this pla-...

BABY CRIES
You've woken him!

When we first got the script,
we went through it

and we realised there was
an awful lot of stuff with babies.

So, when you say on your own...
I meant on my own with the baby,

because no-one thinks I can cope
on my own, which is so unfair,

because...
I can't cope on my own with him!

When you have an idea for television,

and you think, "Is there
a practical problem with this?",

unless it's an iceberg crashing in
or something like that,

you think, "Well, let's write it and
see what comes back from production."

So, you know, immediately
I was thinking, "Oh, my God,

baby on set."

And I knew that, if it was a problem,
somebody would tell me,

and nobody ever did.

SONG: "Baby Love"
by The Supremes

It's a papoose.
Why do I need a papoose?

Alfie wants you attached to him. You
are far too slow when he summons you.

Alfie!

SHE LAUGHS
Here's your daddy.

BABY GURGLES
Yeah.

He prefers the name Alfie now,

and he's very proud of his dad.

He calls me "Dad"?
Yes, of course he does now.

Yeah, I know.
He's a bit thick, isn't he?

Hey, shut up, you two!

We've got seven different babies
playing the character of Alfie,

and a couple of dummy, fake babies
as well.

And we've got seven babies

because we've got to stick to
quite strict rules about baby hours.

I hope the audience won't notice
that, in nearly every scene,

the baby is different.

Today we've got Isabel here,
and that's Josie.

I'm Roz.
This is my mother-in-law, Liz.

Where's the camera? Jose?

Oh, where's the camera?

SHE GASPS PLAYFULLY

We've just arrived on location,
and we're about to sh**t a scene,

um, with one of the babies
in the cot.

Let's go up, please, Isabel.
Come on, Iz.

It is so much easier
sending a baby to set,

because they don't complain,
they don't go and potter around

and make a phone call.
They don't wait for their breakfast,

they don't wait for their newspaper.
They just get in the car and go to set.

Moving on. Action.

BABY CRIES
Hey, hey, hey.

Let's have a little dance.

A lot of the time you use twins,

because if you have them
that look basically the same,

if one of the babies starts to cry,

it's really ruthless, but you
just go, "Bring in the next baby,"

and that baby gets shepherded out,
and you carry on sh**ting.

I'll bring Josie in at
the last minute, all right? This one?

Josie. Oh, there you are.

They were great. They were singing
songs to them in between takes,

and completely fussing over them.

♪ Incy-wincy spider

♪ Climbing up the wall ♪

HE SINGS SOOTHING TUNE

Matt,
can we just see yours turn, please?

I've absolutely loved it.

When you then get to meet
James Corden and Matt Smith,

you know, a bit star-struck,
so that was great.

James was brilliant with the babies.
He was about to become a father,

and we needed him to be a little bit
awkward with the babies,

and he was holding them as someone
who isn't confident would hold them.

He's just...

There were two babies, two twins,
that were like angels.

'They were amazing.
They never cried,

'they could be passed to anyone
and they were very content.'

And my girlfriend's pregnant
at the minute,

and we're going to have a baby
in, like...imminently.

So the first thing I did
was go up to the mum

and say, "How have you done this?"

I was giving him a few hints
and tips to help him along.

He took to it like a duck to water.
He was really good with the kids.

A few days after
he finished filming, he had a baby,

and everything's going great,
so good luck to him,

and I'm sure he'll enjoy
being a dad.

This is an... We're going to do this
as an exclusive Doctor Who

for Doctor Who Confidential.

Craig?

Craig?
OMINOUS INCIDENTAL MUSIC

Hang on. Are you mentioning them,
or am I just going to...

Oh, sorry. I thought
you were going... I'll go to it.

You lead. Take .

OMINOUS INCIDENTAL MUSIC
Craig?

Craig?

Now, look at that. It's a cr*ck...

in the wall.

JAMES SINGS "DOCTOR WHO THEME" INTRO

THEY SING MELODY

THEY LAUGH

'Away from the studio, Doctor Who
are out and about on location,

'and for this episode, Iwan Roberts
is the man of many places.'

We were looking for sort of
a specific location

for James Corden's character, Craig.

What I did, I did a letter drop

in three or four
different areas of Cardiff,

so all in all, I think I delivered
about letters

asking if people would be interested
in having a film crew in their house,

and I was really surprised. I only
had about five or six replies.

Hello, boys.
HE LAUGHS

Oh, typical. There's no parking.

What are you doing here?
Filming. You're kidding!

On this horrible corner?
Well, in a house here,

but we're filming
on the whole street tonight,

so it's going to very busy.
Filming for Doctor Who. Oh!

Super! Well! There we go.

The boys want to park their trucks
and get ready to set up,

so we've got to cr*ck on and get on
with this as soon as we can.

So, I was under the impression that
this was going to be enough room,

but it's obviously not.

Right. I got to knock some doors.

No. No-one in.

Oh, hello, there. How you doing?
I'm Iwan from the BBC.

Is the black Golf...
Does that belong to you? No.

That's OK. Thank you.

Hello. Is this yours?
No, that's not mine. It's not.

That's one of them gone.

Do you live on this street? Yeah.

Would you mind awfully parking
maybe just further up the street?

Would that be OK? Sorry about this.
It's all right.

Thank you very much for your
cooperation. Cheers. Thank you.

Do you want me to hold your hand?
There we go, love.

There we go.
There you are. There we go.

All clear. Thank you very much.
No problem at all. See you later.

All part of the job description.

Only one car to go.

I got a guy from the council
just turned up.

He's booked to turn off
the streetlights for us,

because the street, they've got,
like, a sodium light,

so it gives a bit of a flare,
so just to switch them off.

Then he comes back about :
to switch them back on.

I'm Iwan.
I'm Neil. How you doing, mate?

If we take a wander up there,

we'll have a chat
with the electrician.

We need that one off. We definitely need
the one across the road switched off.

Hello. Hello!

How are you? Mr Roberts, I think.
Iwan. Please call me Iwan.

Hi, I'm Sarah. Oh, hello, Sarah.
What can I do for you?

We have permission to cone this
off of Inspector Owens. Right.

And this car,
it is a resident's on the street,

but I can't find where he lives.

I'm wondering
if you can do a PNC check

so we can ask him nicely to move.

Let's have a look. Crossed fingers.

Flats.

Oh, look at that!
The car's gone from there!

It's getting better
by the minute.

'The bottom end of the street,
we've moved a couple of cars,

'so whatever happens, we can park
the cherry picker in the street,

'so that is objective completed

And it's parked in place.
Happy days!

So if we stay to the left here

and just leave a gap here, please.
Thank you.

Well, obviously
the actors have come out,

and James has just come out, so
a lot of the kids want an autograph,

so fair play,
he's signed a few autographs.

'But then they're all waiting...'
Look! It's Doctor Who Confidential!

THEY LAUGH
Thank you. It's a pleasure.

There we go.
Is that everyone? Is that...

THEY CHATTER
Matt, they're calling you on.

Sorry, guys.
THEY CHATTER

So, guys, we need you
off the pavement, if that's OK,

cos we're building a crane there,
so the safe place at the moment

is just a little bit further
up the street, if that's OK, please.

THEY CHATTER
Thanks very much.

So, we've got Emma and Richard...
I can't remember your names.

Aaron and Eva...with us today.

They actually own the house,
basically,

so they've been kind enough
to allow this madness to happen.

So,
why did you allow this to happen?

I initially said "no way"
when your polite letter was posted

through the door, but Richard said,
"No, you've got to phone him."

Good experience for the children.
For the kids. Absolutely.

And for the local people.
So Daddy made this happen.

Are you happy about that? Yes.

Are you massive Doctor Who fans?

Are you? Now I am. Now you are.

We're a bit young.
We're a bit frightened. I'm not!

You're not?
THEY LAUGH

Quarter past now,
so minutes to go.

So, this gives us
a final sh*t of the scene,

so the camera's on the crane,

so we've just got to keep
the pedestrians behind,

behind the camera, and last push,
we'll be done. Midnight finish.

Quite looking forward to it now.
Been a long day today.

Shut up.
I'm just dropping in on a friend.

The last thing I need
right now is a patina of

teleport energy.
I'm going, do you hear? Going!

It's really good.
Really, really good, actually.

It's five past .
We've just finished.

I think it's been
a really successful day.

I'm ready for bed now!

'With filming about to begin on
our special episode of Doctor Who,

'there's a chance for our
young writers to spend quality time

'on the TARDIS, with Controller
of BBC Learning, Saul Nasse.'

What does it say? "TARDIS, time
and relative dimension in space."

"Build site,
Gallifrey Blackhole shipyard."

"Type , build date ."

Oh, really cool.
So, what does the typewriter do?

It, like...
It types his destination. OK.

This is where that message
about Amy being pregnant

or not pregnant...
Really? ..was flashing.

It's, like, the scanner control.

And when the Dream Lord flashed up,
he was on there.

A competition like this
will motivate children

and inspire their writing
all across the country...

not just the ones who've won,
just those four,

but everybody who entered,
thousands of children.

If you can tap into
children's interests

as inspiration for their writing,
that's always a good thing,

but something from
the actual Doctor Who studio

is far more exciting than anything
we can come up with at school.

Well done, guys.

Thanks ever so much. Cheers.

'With the cast and crew back on set,

'the children take their places
to watch their episode being made.'

There we go.

Full rehearsal.

Just so you know,
this is all a show.

No-one actually pays
any attention to him.

He just holds this to sort of
look sort of groovy and stuff.

THEY LAUGH

Um, can we get the other crane in,
please?

THEY LAUGH

, take , B camera only.

And...action.

Oh!

What just happened?

Long story. Nice hair, though. You
should keep it. It's more sciencey.

I don't feel too good.
Will you drop me off home, please?

Cut. That was great.
Yeah, that was the one.

Cut. Well done.

'At the end of the scene,
the children have one more treat

'to remember the day by -
a photo with the Doctor.'

You're going to be on
Doctor Who Confidential. Awesome!

Say, "Hi, Confidential." Hi. Hi.

We're on TV right now. Awesome!

I bet you're watching yourself right
now at home, going, "Awesome!" Yeah!

Big cheer, as well, guys.
THEY CHEER

Brilliant. Got it. Well done, guys.

Well done. Good stuff.

Thanks for coming down and watching
us film it. Thanks for your script.

Well done.

Yeah, it's been a busy day.
Very busy.

But we got there in the end.
Very funny.

Nickolas Grace - what a star!
Yeah, great Einstein.

Great Einstein.
Great script. Lots of good sh*ts.

It's been a lot of fun, hasn't it?
It has. Really good.

'Next time,
the Doctor meets Einstein

'in Death Is The Only Answer.'

'At the department store,
it's all fun and games,

'as the crew have moved
to the second floor,

'the toy department.'

HE LAUGHS

So, can we do
this kind of pull-back reveal thing

for this first bit, yeah? Maybe
do it mid-sh*t at the same time?

We've got to see him work.
The Doctor is working in the store,

playing with this remote-control
helicopter and some kids.

Have we got the chopper on this one,
guys?

Oh, cool.
CHILDREN CHATTERING

Take , take , A marker. B mark.

The gentleman who we got in
to control the helicopter

controls the Daleks, so he knows
everything about remote controls,

and we would just give him an area
where we were sort of sh**ting,

to get him to go up and down,
or whether we wanted to spin around.

This is actually
a little more sophisticated

than the toy helicopter
it's supposed to be

in here,
and this model is actually capable

of far more delicate control,

because it has to fly in a
very confined space, as you can see,

in amongst cameras
and lots of people.

And...action.

It goes up, diddly-up,
it goes down, diddly-down.

Not a proper job for a grown man,
is it, really? But there we are.

B mark.

And action.

'On the ground floor
in the perfume department,

'the Doctor and Craig
encounter a creature

'that could be mistaken for a toy.

'But this one has a real bite.'

CRAIG GASPS

HE LAUGHS

To create the illusion
of the Cybermat,

it actually takes three different
guys to get the full effect.

Um, the first one is...

Here's your close-up "hero" Cybermat.

He just has a control

very similar
to your standard bicycle brake,

and that makes him chomp his teeth.

Argh!
CYBERMAT CHOMPS AND SNARLS

And then we have, essential
to any film set, the stunt double.

So he's just for throwing about
the set and things.

And this little guy, he's...

..just like
a little radio-controlled car.

He's got the two wheels
so he can run around on set.

Oh, as you...

The gaffer tape,
the essential tool of any film set,

running down the bottom there,
is holding him together

after his scene of being clobbered
with a frying pan.

HE LAUGHS

Agh! No!

Matt comes in, and he's slamming him
over the head with a pan.

, take , A marker. B mark.

We ended up having to use
the radio-controlled one,

and he's delicate, because he has
to be light for the radio control.

Action.

Help me! Help me!

Get it off me!

And I showed it to them, and I said,
"Look, guys, we got to use this,

but he is extremely delicate,
so be careful."

And having done this
as long as I have,

I knew as I walked away
I was going to my doom, you know?

Very first take, you know... Wham!

Agh!

Agh!

Cut. I come in, they say,
"Oh, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry."

Agh!

I'm sorry.
I've just really whacked it hard.

OK. Er, cut there.

In the heat of the moment,
you can't ask the actor to not act,

so he really did hit him,

and he basically flew into
about a hundred pieces

and went under the counters
and everything.

I found most of him, and I was able
to superglue him back together

and a bit of Death glue and all
that, and we got him working again,

but he's never been the same since.

For a take, still and quiet.

'The Cybermats are strange creatures
created by the Cybermen,

'who attempt to capture Craig and
convert him into a Cyber Controller.'

Action.

Doctor! Craig! Do something, please!

The script was very detailed

on how Craig
was to be turned into a Cyberman.

CYBERMAN
Begin conversion.

One difficult thing
about this kind of story

is, what would normally
in Doctor Who be the main plot,

the alien invasion,
doesn't take over till the end,

and feels like a different movie.

Stage one -
cleanse the brain of emotions.

It becomes a very highly charged
emotional scene.

I want the audience to think,
"Maybe they're going to do it."

No! Craig! Fight it. They can't
convert you if you fight back.

You're strong. Don't give in to it.
Help me!

Think of Alfie.
Don't let them take it all away!

Make it stop! Please, make it stop!
Please!

Listen to me. I believe in you.
I believe you can do this.

I've always believed in all of you,
all my life.

Prove me right!

The series has got that theme
of death and lingering darkness.

We wanted to try and hold that
moment for as long as possible.

Craig!
ELECTRICITY CRACKLES

The Doctor can shout till he's blue
in the face to Craig about Alfie,

and "Don't let it all go", but
the crying is the important thing.

It's the very thing
that Craig has hated,

that triggers that thing inside him,

so it's almost like Craig
has no conscious control over that.

Emotions eradicated.
Conversion complete.

BABY CRYING

SONG: "I Am Not A Robot"
by Marina And The Diamonds

♪ Guess what

♪ I'm not a robot

♪ A robot ♪

Alfie!

Oh, please, just give me this. Craig!

You wanted a chance to
prove you're a dad.

You are never going to get
a better one than this.

What is happening?
What is happening, you metal moron,

a baby is crying. And you'd better
watch out, because guess what!

HE LAUGHS
Daddy's coming home!

Alfie!

HE LAUGHS

Alfie, I'm here!

I'm coming for you! Yes, Craig! Try!

Alfie!

ALFIE WAILS

Alfie needs you!
Emergency. Emotional influx.

We've got to get out of here!
I know!

The teleport!

Agh!

Alfie! Here's your daddy.

That was another review.
Ten out of ten!

The Cybermen... They blew up!

I blew 'em up with love.

It's fatherhood
that destroys the Cybermen,

because that's the real story.

It's the Doctor Who version of
a new father bonding with his son.

He blows them up with love, you know?

And I make no apologies for that.
HE LAUGHS

Where are you going to go? America!

Sophie will be home any second.
Are you sure...

I can't miss this appointment, Craig.

Goodbye, mate.

The ending's quite sad, really.

I think, in a way,
we've set this episode up

as being all about the fun,
and it is fun,

but what we're also setting up

is that this is
his kind of farewell, too,

that these kids
at the end of episode

are the last people who'll see him
before he goes to his death.

'It was funny. He seemed so happy,
but so sad at the same time.'

We then jump from the children
outside the TARDIS

to this quite scary scene
with River and Kovarian.

You understand what this is,
don't you?

According to some counts, it's...
it's the day the Doctor dies.

By Silencio Lake,

on the Plain of Sighs,

an impossible astronaut
will rise from the deep

and strike the Time Lord dead.

We set up
River being put in the spacesuit

ready to go and k*ll the Doctor.

You never really escaped us,
Melody Pond.

We were always coming for you.

It's actually, you know,
one of the more serious parts

of the whole story arc.

How do you know who I am?
I made you what you are.

The woman who kills the Doctor.

No! No! No!
SHE LAUGHS

There you are. Everything you
thought was going to be the case

probably is.
It was River in the spacesuit.

There's two of her on
the beach, but it's a

time-travel show.
That's easy enough for us.

River is now off to k*ll the Doctor,

as we sort of know ever
since we heard those

lines in Flesh And Stone
all that time ago.

Octavian said you k*lled a man.

Aagh!

Yes, I did.

A good man?

A very good man.
The best man I've ever known.

We've sort of known that
the best man River's ever known

was bound to be the Doctor.
So she's off to k*ll the Doctor.